CHAPTER 1

Nadine Montiere was just twelve when her mother, Janet, passed away. At that tender age she was forced to take care of her smaller brother Evan, who was eight at the time. Her father, Daniel, was a drunkard who was accused by many people in the neighborhood for killing his own wife. Janet was a simple woman who took care of anyone and everyone as her own. They were not very wealthy; they lived in a small two bedroom face brick house that was attached to another house, leaving them very little yard space. The two front windows were broken, which Janet didn't bother to fix because Daniel would just get drunk and break it again. There were a few plants just near the pavement that Janet would tend to daily. If she was outside, everyone who passed by was greeted with a friendly hello whether they responded or not. The aroma of her cooking could be smelt from a distance.

 

One night after a drinking session with his friends, Daniel came home in the early hours of the morning, banging on the door for her to let him in. Janet hurried to the door as she didn't want the noise to disturb her sleeping children. She opened the door and the burglar gate and wasn't amused with how pathetic he looked. His clothes were torn, he had dirt all over him and the stench of vomit on him made her nauseous. He rushed into the house as if he was being chased, it was clear that he was in a brawl. Once in, he locked the gate and slammed the door behind him. She wasn't pleased with this and began questioning him about the state he was in. He wasted no time and pushed her onto the sofa. He began angrily tearing of her pajamas and it was clear that he was in the mood. He tried forcing himself on her! And Janet lay there confused and surprised as this was the first time he behaved this way towards her. She couldn't understand what could have triggered this sudden urge as in the last two years he barely touched her. She was annoyed and couldn't stand his stinking breath so she pushed him off her and asked him to stop. She got up and walked towards the bedroom and at that moment he hit her on her back causing her to fall face first onto the wooden table just outside her bedroom door. After a few brief seconds had passed, he noticed that she didn't wake up so he knelt down beside her and turned her over. To his horror, she was bleeding badly through a large gash on her head, he watched her breathe in a few last breaths as she felt her soul leave her body. He sobered up in an instant. The sound of their argument must have woken up Nadine and Evan because when Daniel attempted to lift himself up off the ground, they were standing above him and staring at the lifeless body of their dear mother on the floor. Daniel asked Nadine to pass him the phone and he called an Ambulance. He then ordered Nadine to take Evan and get back into bed. After the children were in their beds he quickly put on another set of pajamas for Janet and left her where she was. It wasn't long after that, that the ambulance arrived. He told them that he had just come home from a party and found his wife lying on the floor; it seemed she must have slipped and fallen. They didn't bother to investigate further and Janet was pronounced dead. No post mortem was done and Daniel was left to roam free. The neighbors knew Janet well and they also knew the habits of her husband Daniel and so, many rumors about her death were spread.

 

 

CHAPTER 2

 

Daniel wasn't very clued up on cooking or household chores so he would just make Nadine clean up what she could and prepare noodles or sandwiches for them. Nadine would get up at 5am every morning shower and then begin the chores. She would iron their uniforms and her dad's overall for work, make breakfast and lunches and get Evan ready for school. They had to walk quite a distance to get to school but they didn't feel afraid as there were other kids that used the same route as them. She would leave Evan at his class first and then go to hers. She often worried what would happen to him the following year when she had to go to high school and he would remain behind. They were very close and she made damn sure that no one bullied her baby brother. Her classmates all looked a lot older than her. Nadine was a bit short and chubby, had a few freckles, wore glasses and her hair was always dry and had split ends. She was often made fun off and therefore kept a low profile. She didn't always have new clothes or new stationary like the other kids but made use of what she had. She silently envied the fact that the other girls came nicely dressed and their hair was always tied in ribbons just like how her mum did hers. They would bring new gadgets an cellphones to school often, a luxury that she was deprived off. She didn’t dare ask Daniel for anything as she knew that money was tight and didn’t want her father to feel useless so she kept it to herself. No one understood that Ever since her mother died she had to become a mother to her younger brother. While she could do things for him and her father, no one took care of her.

 

 

One day during lunch at school, Nadine got up from the brown oak Bench she sat on every break and was terrified to see that her uniform was messed with blood. She hurried to the sick room and in a panicky voice told the nurse what she experienced. The nurse then laughed at Nadine and told her that it was just a period and explained to her what was happening. She gave Nadine a packet of sanitary towels and helped her clean her uniform. Nadine went back to her class feeling as awkward as ever. That day when she got home she hid the pads from her father as she was shy. She didn't have a mother to confide in. She was just a girl who was going through many things she couldn't understand. That evening when Daniel got home from work Evan told him that he thinks Nadine is hurt and he saw her hiding some bandages. Daniel asked Evan to bring the bandages so he could ask Nadine what happened. To his surprise, Evan came running with a packet of sanitary pads and gave it to his father. Daniel laughed and called for Nadine. When she came she saw her dad holding the packet of sanitary pads in his and before she could say anything, he asked if it was hers. A bit shy and annoyed with her father, she eventually responded and told him what had occurred at school. Daniel laughed again and then took out his last note and some coins and gave it to her to buy another packet if needed. Nadine felt like the ice was broken and she smiled and walked away. Evan stood there confused but dragged himself to the living room and switched on the TV.

 

A few months passed and they got used to doing things for themselves. Nadine was now going to start high school and her fear of leaving Evan was about to become a reality. At least she could still give him a walk to school every day as both schools weren't that far apart. On her first day of high school she was amazed by how much bigger the school building was, how many students were there and how big school bags they had. She was also curious as to how she was going to make a new friend, that’s if anyone wanted to be her friend. She liked her new teachers and was ever so eager to learn. During lunch she was sitting alone under a tree and having her lunch when, a group of girls confronted her. They asked her many questions and wanted to know if she would join their group. She jumped at the opportunity as anything was better than being alone in a foreign environment. Her new friends gave her a reason to look forward to school as she had other females to talk to. That day after school she picked up Evan and they began their stroll home. It was a hot day so they each pulled out a book from their bags and held it over their head to protect their faces from the blazing Sun. When they arrived at home she quickly washed out their uniforms and socks, helped Evan with homework and began preparing for dinner.  After dinner was ready she had a quick shower and began her written tasks.

 

CHAPTER 3

 

The death of Janet had left Daniel very distraught and he soon started becoming disturbed. He roamed the streets till late being very careless. It was as if the the guilt he was carrying with him, was slowly consuming him. Some nights he never came home at all. Leaving two youngsters to fend for themselves. Months went by and they kids soon became independent. Considering themselves to be orphans. Whilst Daniel was still working, he began contributing less into the household and more into the liquor store. The family was barely managing. Afraid that Evan would be affected by this, Nadine spoke to her father to ask his sister, their aunt to take care of Evan for a while and she would try to get a part time job at a local Store. Daniel felt that it would both be, a burden lifted of his shoulders and also what was best for Evan. That night he called his sister violet and asked to fetch Evan. Violet was a big size lady, she had big feet and her legs were so fat that it looked as if she didn't have any ankles. She wore thick glasses and her hair was a different color at least every second week. She was well to do and had a heart of gold. Even though she had everything, she could not have a child of her own. By Daniel calling for her assistance, he brought some joy to her heart. She would raise Evan as her own and he would be short of nothing. It was a sad day for Nadine as she would miss her brother dearly but she knew that he would be happier and she would get to visit him on weekends.

 

It didn't take Nadine long to find a part time job at a small wholesaler. It didn't pay much and she didn't expect it to as she was still a child. She was just excited that she was making some money and it was her own and she didn't mind sharing it with Evan.  She would buy him lots of treats and gifts and Evan would always be so grateful. At school Nadine felt happy that she could have tasty and expensive lunches on Fridays just like her other friends. They were not like Nadine though; they were a bit more advanced and mature. Their ways, habits and even conversations were too mature for their age group. One of the girls, Jennifer, Seemed to be the instigator. Most of their talks left Nadine in awe. She didn't know much about crushing, kissing or even having sex. You could call her the nerd of the group. At times she felt like they only hung out with her to make themselves look good because she was average and they were popular.

 

CHAPTER 4

 

One Thursday during a test, Jennifer wrote a note and threw it across the classroom at Nadine. It missed her desk and landed on the side of her chair. As she bent down to pick it up, her teacher Mr. Dean was standing in front of her. He asked for the note and saw a question related to the test written on it. He asked Nadine who wrote it. She was afraid to blame Jennifer so she didn't say a word. This frustrated Mr. Dean so he took away her test paper and he issued out a detention slip to her. She was very worried as this test was important for her term marks and Daniel would be very angry if she failed. She was quiet that entire day. The last bell had gone off and all the other students including Jennifer ran out of the school gates to head home. Nadine packed up her books and headed back to Mr. Dean's classroom to serve her detention. When she got there Mr. Dean was seated at his desk with a stern look  on his face. Most students were afraid of him except for Jennifer. Jennifer would pass irrelevant remarks even while he was teaching but for some strange reason he would always overlook it. He wasn't very bad looking, he was tall, fair, had brownish eyes and blonde hair. He probably was around Thirty four or thirty five. No ring on his finger so couldn't really tell if he was married or not or if he had any kids. He was a bit arrogant at times and very strict when it came to his work being done. His dressing was on point; he could easily be mistaken for a lawyer or a bank manager at times.

 

Nadine handed him the detention slip and sat down. She began the usual task which entailed copying words and their definitions from the dictionary. After a while he spoke and asked again about the note, Again Nadine was silent. He continued by explaining the importance of the test paper that he took away from her. Nadine explained that she knew it was important but she didn't want to get her friend in trouble. Pretending to be understanding, Mr. Dean sympathized with her for a moment about her situation and he walked towards her. He put his arm on her shoulder and said that he will let her complete her test. She was happy and smiled until she heard him say “BUT YOU WILL HAVE TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME IN RETURN". As naive as Nadine was, she could tell by the look on his face what he meant.  She was confused, afraid and disgusted at the same time, he was a grown man and she was only 14. She was still for a moment and thought about what he was asking. If she did it, She wouldn't fail so her father wouldn't be disappointed, she wouldn't have to give Jennifer up and wouldn't have to lose her best friend and no one would find out about it and so…it was something she was willing to do. At that very moment she let herself go and  engaged in sexual activities with her teacher who was At least twenty years older than her. She was too immature to understand that instead of losing her friend she lost her virginity without realizing how special it was.  She was just relieved that her paper could be completed

 

CHAPTER 5

She went home that day with mixed emotions. She was both disgusted with herself and confused. A few moments ago she knew nothing about kissing never mind going all the way. But it had happened. Not once did she think about the repercussions of her actions if someone found out about it. As soon as she got home she rushed to the bathroom to clean herself up, tidied up the place then grabbed an aspirin and headed to bed. When Daniel got home he found it rather strange that was in bed so early so he went to her room. She was awake reading a book. "What is wrong? How come you in bed so early? “He asked. She stammered a bit but then told her father that she wasn't feeling well.  He chuckled to himself and then asked if she would like some hot chocolate but she refused. She put down her book and she asked her dad to switch her light off. In a few moments she was in a deep sleep. It felt like only 10 min had passed but the sun was up and it was morning. She got out of bed and had a shower. Before she could put her clothes she had the sudden urge to wee. She put down the toilet seat and then all of a sudden she felt an excruciating burning sensation. She had never experienced this before but somehow she knew why. She wiped herself and continued her morning routine. On her way to school she decided that she would speak to Mr. Dean after school about the incident that happened. Five periods had passed but she found herself lost. She couldn't concentrate in class and said to herself that she would go see him during lunch instead.

 

 

The clock struck 12:00pm and after a few seconds the lunch bell went off. She stood, up grabbed her bag and rushed towards Mr. Dean’s class. When she got there, she noticed that the door was closed. She knocked on it but got no response so she peeped through the keyhole, the key was still in the door so it was obvious he was still inside. She knocked on the door again but he didn't answer. On the left of the classroom door was a wooden oak bench where some kids would sit like she used to during their break and Have their lunch. She pulled the bench and stood on top of it yet she was still unable to reach. This forced her to stand on the tip of her toes and she was rather shocked at what she was staring at. Mr. Dean was in his chair and her best friend Jennifer was on top of him! She quickly got off the bench and went into the closest toilet. She found an empty cubicle and sat down on the seat. Things were starting to make sense; she now knew why Jennifer got away with her misbehaving antics when it came to Mr. Dean. It was because she had been sleeping with him all along. It also crossed her mind that this was how Jennifer knew many advanced things. These girls were so young yet slowly throwing their lives away. Well that's what she thought to herself before realizing that she was now one of them. Something triggered in her mind that day. Some strange feelings were evoked because all of a sudden she became very jealous just at the thought of Jennifer being near Mr Dean. She couldn't understand why seeing them together had such an effect on her. Things began to change after that. She changed her attire, hairstyle and even her attitude. Some would refer to her sudden behavioral change as that of a whore.  Daniel himself could not believe what was happening to his daughter.

 

 

 

CHAPTER 6

Time went by and day by day she became a stranger to her father and Evan. At school, she could no longer stand the sight of Jennifer. She distanced herself from her completely and tried very hard to get closer to Mr. Dean. No one could understand her. She changed her hair color, her dress code and even her personality. She came up with many devious ways of making him want her and each one of them worked. They would engage in sexual acts two to three times a week. Nadine was so obsessed with him an d became naive to the fact that he was just using her and many other girls for his own pleasure, each one of them unaware of the other.

 It was the mid-term examinations and Nadine finds herself feeling a bit dizzy. With every breath she inhales, she finds herself wanting to throw up. She excuses herself from class and rushes to the girls toilet. In a matter of seconds, she vomits out the spaghetti she had for dinner. Nadine now faces the fear that she might be pregnant. She goes to the headmaster and asks to leave as she is not feeling well. Before going home she stops at the pharmacy and purchases a pregnancy test. The whole walk home there was chaos in her head. At home she unlocks the door and flings her bag onto the floor heading for the bathroom. She follows the instructions on the package insert and then waits in fear. Approximately three minutes pass by and she cannot ignore the two very clear pink lines staring back at her. Her mind is now blank and this time, all she felt was disappointment.

 

The next day a grief stricken Nadine rushes to Mr. Dean’s classroom to tell him about the predicament she was in. As she walks in “didn’t you hear the bell ring? You need to get to class.” He said. “I need to talk to you about something and its urgent” she replied. He then gives her a stern look and then says “make it quick my next class will be here soon!”. His tone of voice made her feel uneasy but after a few deep breaths she blurts out “I’M PREGNANT”! Dumbstruck by what she said, Dean tells her to get rid of it as he will not be responsible for negligence. My negligence? How can it be my negligence if you didn’t use any protection? She asks. He grins and replies “you should have been on the pill like your other friends but don’t worry I know someone who can help”. He gives her an address and tells her that this person will help get rid of the baby and he will pay the fees when the job is done. This made it quite obvious that he had done this before to many others. However this was not the time for assumptions and speculations, she had to do it…for herself.

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER 7

The address that he gave her, led her to a dingy place…strange faces, the people were ragged, the buildings and houses were vandalized. Fires were burning on the sidewalks where the homeless sat. Children were skipping and playing games with old panty hose. Her surroundings scared her as if the fear she had already wasn’t enough! She stopped at the address on the paper; it was a tall building that looked abandoned from outside. At the entrance to those apartments, some men stood their smoking their weed asking her who she was looking for.  Before she could even answer she was scared to death by the barks of the fierce looking pit bull being held on a leash by one of the men. She explained that she was here to see a lady by the name of Barbara. They told her she was at the right place and directed her to the third floor. On her way up the dark stairways, she was confronted by two black males asking if she was looking to buy drugs, she said no and continued. Whilst the building seemed abandoned from outside, the inside was decorated with prostitutes, the sound of toddlers crying and domestic disputes filled the corridors.  Why would Mr. Dean send her to a place like this? How would he even know about it? Too many questions in her head that couldn’t be thought or investigated further as she had reached Barbara’s door.

 She knocks twice and then hears the door unlocking. She is greeted by a lady who seemed to be in her forties. She is also ragged, wearing her pajamas past noon. The one side of her gown is untied and you can see that she isn’t wearing a bra. “come in, I’ll be with you “ she says. Her voice sounds as if she has been up yelling all night, so screechy. Nadine walks in and stands in the kitchen. In the middle of the living room is a steel table surrounded by gin and vodka bottles. The smell of cigarette smoke made her nose stuffy. Wherever she looked all she saw was cigarette buds. Barbara tells Nadine to take of her pants and lie on the table. While Nadine undresses she watches as Barbara sterilizes funny looking tools inn alcohol. This frightens her so much that she begins to shake. The lady asks her to lie down Nadine shivers as her body touches the cold steel of the table. “Relax…it will all be over soon” says Barbara.  Nadine winces in pain as she feels the tool go inside her body the pain is unbearable and she faints. Nadine wakes up a few hours later in hospital. While she was passed out the backdoor abortion was carried out causing her to bleed uncontrollably and she needed to be admitted to the nearest hospital. Daniel was so angry at her, not only because of the pregnancy, but also because she put herself in danger.

Nadine still very much in love with Mr. Dean decided to teach him a lesson for what he put her through and reported their deeds to the head master and police

And even though none of the other girls came forward the police investigated further and found that he was guilty of similar heinous crimes. His semen matched that of many other rape victims between the ages of 7 and 15. Thanks to Nadine’s statement he finally was caught.  He faced many charges and was sentenced to eleven years imprisonment that he would serve at the state penitentiary with no parole.

 

Nadine was rather devastated as she loved him but didn’t deserve what she went through. She was also aggravated that she was just used and then discarded. She told her father that she no longer had an interest in completing her studies and she was dropping out of school. She told him that the situation was embarrassing for her and she would be mocked at school. She further stated that if he forced her to go, she would skip school anyway. Worried about the dangers she would face by lurking around instead of being home, he had no choice but to let her leave school.  Nadine felt that this is how she would be happy, Away from the drama and the issues. After two years of being a drop out Nadine lost her father to a fatal car accident that left him dead on the scene. At his funeral Evan refused to speak to her as he felt that she was rebellious towards their father before he had died. Not only was Nadine broken by the death of Daniel but also disheartened at the fact that she had lost her brother too. It seemed as if all the things they had done growing up and all the struggles they faced together had been forgotten. The ceremony was rather short but sweet and from that day forward Nadine and Evan went their separate ways.

 

 

 

CHAPTER 8

Unable to face the only family she once had, she was left puzzled regarding the direction she would take next. Shortly after her dad's passing, Nadine stumbled across Jennifer while going to the store. Still unable to face Jennifer after the whole Mr. Dean thing, she pretends not to notice Jennifer and carries on walking. She didn't get very far before she heard her name being called. She turned around and saw Jen walking towards her. "I heard about your father, I am really sorry" she said. Nadine thanked her for her condolences and before she could say she needed to leave Jennifer looks at her with a smirk on her face and says "I'm sure things must be hard for you and your brother Evan, I could show you a way out". Intrigued by this Nadine looks at her and asks what she has in mind. Jennifer, rather amused by Nadine's interest quickly goes on explaining how Nadine could make quick cash by just giving a man a few minutes of her time. Appalled at first, Nadine then looks at her and hesitantly asks Jen to show her how. Jennifer agrees and tells Nadine that she will meet at her house later that night.  On her way back home, Nadine's head was filled with many questions. She got home and tidied up, lit a candle for her father and went shower. Whilst in the shower she hears her phone ringing. She quickly grabs the towel and steps out. She was a bit too delayed and missed the called but got a voice mail notification immediately. She dialed the number and found out it was Jennifer, telling her that she will be arriving shortly and the Nadine must wear something sexy. A bit surprised by this, Nadine did as she was told. She wore a short, purple sleeveless dress with black stilettos accompanied by a fancy figure hugging belt. She loosened her hair and left it a bit raggedy and applied on some make up and perfume. Before she could take a picture of herself, she heard a car hooter. She rushed to open the door and upon doing that she was shocked to see that Jen had pulled up in a brand new Mercedes Benz with three male friends in it, Two at the back and one in the passenger seat. Nadine was as nervous as a mouse about to be eaten by a snake. She got into the car and was invited to sit in the middle of the gentlemen. It turns out that they were going for dinner. Nadine found that harmless. At dinner, they made useless conversation about irrelevant things and ordered plenty of drinks. Jen encouraged Nadine to order as much as she wanted and the most expensive too as tonight was a treat. The night didn't seem so bad and since she wasn't used to places like this, that's exactly what she did.

 

Nadine now in a very tipsy state accompanies Jen to the ladies room to freshen up and is told that they will be going to a hotel to chill and when they get there Nadine must do whatever they ask. On arrival at the hotel, the men book two rooms. Two of them go with Jennifer and Nadine is asked to go with the other man. At the hotel room the man asks her to undress herself and lay in bed. Nadine does as she as told and knows where this is going. After a steamy session the man shows gratitude by leaving a thick stack of notes by the bedside and leaves. Nadine still tipsy decides to call it a night.  In the morning she is awakened by Jen's knocks on the door. She quickly puts on the bath robe and invites her in. They chit chat about the nights events and Nadine couldn't believe how easy it was to make so much money in a single night and so she did it   once a week and once a week turned into two times a week, then three and before she could realize, every day. Sometimes it was more than a single client per day. Nadine was making so much of money that her wardrobe, hair and nails changed almost as many times as the men she slept with. It was easy money and nothing she hadn’t done before. Sometimes this made Jen really angry because Nadine was becoming very popular and more men would ask for her.

 

CHAPTER 9

Some of these men were married with kids while others were filthy rich and lonely. Speaking of filthy rich, one of Nadine's clients Brian, showed her a lot of affection. To him it wasn't sex, he felt like it was love making. Nadine enjoyed being with him as he wasn't like the rest. Sometimes they would go on picnics and to the movies. He would pay just to enjoy her company. Brian didn't care much about her background, He was in love with her and even though she tried to brush it off! So was she. She felt that she was a broken soul no one would be able to love her. A Few months had passed and they continued. Eventually Brian couldn't stand the thought if Nadine being with another man. It would make him so angry that he would hit himself in front of her and cry. Unable to see Brian like this, she would try her best to comfort him. During one of their date nights Brian did something unexpected. At a restaurant, he stood in front of her then knelt down, exposing a beautifully designed ring and asked her to marry him. Baffled at this stunt and amused by the amount of people staring, she agrees.

 

She sold her father's house and posted all the money to Evan. He might have forgotten her but she didn't forget him. She felt it was the right thing to do. After all, Brian was loaded and she would be short of nothing. They lived happily and in the most envied comfort. Her feelings for Brian increased daily and he was the voodoo that made her heart race faster, kept her mind at peace and her soul happy. She could not believe how far she had come compared to the life she led before. She was just 18 when she married Brian and their wedding was grand. She had a beautiful royal blue dress that was complimented by designer silver heels. Brian looked immaculate in a silver suit with a royal blue shirt to compliment his new bride. Everyone was happy for them. They ate, they drank and danced all night long until all of a sudden Nadine went missing in action for a while.

She was found sobbing out the reception because she felt that she had no one to represent her on her big day. Brian offered her comfort as always and told her that he would try his best to fill the void that she had. He promised that she would be short of nothing and they would live a blissful life with the best if anything and everything life had to offer. Seeing the way he loved her, Cheered her up and they were back at the reception having a ball. On their wedding the couple was so drunk that they didn't do much except for lying in each other's arms in the hotel room that Brian had booked for them. In the morning Nadine awoken to a delicious looking breakfast and even a note saying " I love you gorgeous xoxo Brian ". This made her heart warm and fuzzy and again she broke down into tears. She was not used to a life like this or a love so true. He was old fashioned, he was romantic and He was cheesy, she loved cheesy!

 

 

 

CHAPTER 10

Months had passed and the couple was still going strong. Their love continued to blossom, their bond became greater and they were inseparable. Until one day Brian became very ill. He went to the doctors and they did some tests and told him it would take about four weeks before they got the results back. Brian suspected cancer as it was hereditary in his family. His aunt passed away due to cervical cancer, his grandfather due to leukemia, while his sister now continued to fight a losing battle against breast cancer. He felt weak and didn't feel like being around anyone. He started losing weight and the bones on his cheeks began to show. He looked as if he was aging rather fast. His skin was much paler than before and he felt very lethargic. Before the four weeks were up Brian got a call from his doctor and was told to see him as soon as he could. Brian got into his car and sped off. At the doctor’s office Brian saw that his doctor was rather upset and disappointed. He urged the doctor not to beat around the bush and to give him the results as he couldn't take any more of the wait. The doctor hands him the envelope and utters “I’m really sorry Brian, of all people; you didn't deserve this" this frightened Brian and he aggressively tore open the envelope. As he was reading it tears rolled down his face.

 

He rushed out and got into his car and sped off once again. When Brian arrives home he shouts for Nadine to come downstairs. Panicking and frantic she runs down to see what the fuss is about and she is greeted with a painful slap. Surprised and confused by this she confronts him about it and he throws the paper at her. " I made the biggest mistake by choosing you! " he shouts. Nadine picks up the paper and tears begin to roll down her face too. To her dismay, Brian was diagnosed with Aids, A disease that claimed the lives of one too many. She was unable to explain to him how this had happened as she knew she had a past and now it was starting to haunt her. She always used protection but there could be the possibility of a condom breaking or having a factory defect. Either way it was confusing and disturbing for her. She apologized to Brian many times as she couldn't handle the fact this is how she would repay him after everything he had done for her.  Days went by and they hardly said a word to each other. They were drifting apart and she was painfully watching it happen until, finally she couldn't take it anymore and decided to go check what her HIV status was.

 

 

 

CHAPTER 11

 

 Anxious to know and to ease her mind, she called and pestered the doctor's every day to check if the results were in and after eleven long days, she was called to collect them. She immediately left home and hurried to collect them. She returned home very quickly and was shaking with nerves. She did not know what effect that envelope would have on her life going forward. Nadine went to Brian and asked him to sit with her while she opened it. Brian was very arrogant at first as he blamed her for doing that to him but after bearing in mind that she was trying her best to make up for ruining his life, he gave in. He stood opposite her and she asked him to open it as she was nervous. He tore open the envelope and after reading a few lines he began to cry. Without saying a word, Brian rushed to his bedroom drawers and then to bathroom locking the door behind him. Nadine followed banging the door but all she heard was him sobbing. She asked him to let her in and at that very moment, BANG! SHE HEARD A GUN GO OFF!

 Terrified of what she might find on the other side of the door, she quickly asked one of the helpers to break down the door. Once she got in she screamed with the most heartfelt agony! There was Brian, with his eyes wide open and a tear running down his eye. Covered in blood and lying there so lifeless. She held him and cried and cried and in her tormented state she saw the letter from the hospital lying on the floor. She picked up the paper, wiped off the splattered blood of the one she loved and began to read her results curious to know what fate written on there made Brian take his own life! She wiped her eyes so she could see clearly and it so happens that she was HIV negative!  She was not infected. It turns out that Brian must have contracted it from another prostitute before her. He either felt guilty that he blamed her and treated her badly and he couldn't live with it or he didn't want to suffer and die a slow death. Nadine was both relieved at her status being negative and heartbroken that she lost Brian. She loved him and he loved her more than anything.

 

Brian was buried with utmost dignity and after his funeral, Nadine inherited everything. Brian had put every last penny on her name. She was filthy rich and even though so young, she was mature and responsible. She tried on many occasions to contact Evan but he had moved to another country with their aunt. Even though she had it all now, she was all alone. She had no one to share it with. Her only choice was to befriend her loneliness before it became her weakness and consumed her. One morning while sipping on coffee, she had this strange idea and being the enthusiast she was, she decided on the spot to open up a safe haven for girls that come from poverty stricken homes or living on the street. She managed to find and old hotel for a fairly good price and had it revamped. It would house approximately 250 women and children comfortably with a few additional facilities. They would be provided with food, toiletries, clothes and even education. Nadine felt that Brian would be proud of her. The love he gave her was enough to help her help those in need and she was very right. That very next morning, she came out of the shower and was amazed to find the blurry words "I love you gorgeous xoxo Brian" written on the misty bathroom mirror. She cried as emotion took over her and from that day onward FOR THE BROKEN  would be home to any woman that's in need, young girls who turned to prostitution, women living with HIV and women who have been abused. Nadine still runs it and even though she is now 74, she hasn't married, hasn't had any children and hasn't taken off the wedding ring Brian had placed on her finger which is now covered in wrinkles.

 

On a stone in front of the haven, she had the following engraved:

 

I feel you,

In the sunsets that I watch,

In the road trips I take,

In the books I read,

And in the ones I write,

In the songs I hear,

In the breeze I feel.

 

I feel you...

In the things that make me happiest

 

- Brian I am Missing u always.

 

No matter what life threw at her, Nadine Montiere didn't forget where she came from or the lessons that life had taught her. She came from nothing and ended up with everything but she didn't let the sweet taste of the good life wash away her bitter taste of poverty. Even though she would be broken forever, She was a remarkable woman and to the people, young and old alike, that is how she would be praised and remembered because... That was who she was.

 

Impressum

Texte: RENAE NAIK
Bildmaterialien: RENAE NAIK
Cover: RENAE NAIK
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 17.05.2019

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Widmung:
...And I'd give up forever to touch you, Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever be. And I don't want to go home right now And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life Cause sooner or later it's over. I just don't want to miss you tonight And I don't want the world to see me Cause, I don't think that they'd understand. When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am. And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming Or the moment of truth in your lies, When everything seems like the movies... Sometimes you bleed just to know your alive. ~Iris -goo goo dolls