Chapter 1: The Mission

London. Home to the London Eye, Big Ben, Buckingham Palace and a special detective team, known as The Interceptors. Saving queen and country infinite times to protect the country we all know and love, getting rid of the bad guys before the Police have anything to do with it. The team in question consist of three people, Jason Clarkson, The Ladies man. Roger St Hammond, the small, yet powerful karate chop expert. And James Steed, The brains of the entire interceptor team. These three drove 3, stylish, yet inexpensive cars. The Jenson Interceptor.....


Jason was in the garage, tinkering endlessly at the Jenson Interceptor, trying to make the car be better than it already is. In his mind power is best for cars, not speed or size, just sheer power! “Come on my beauty, lets get this engine from 185bhp to 210bhp!”. He was interrupted by a pedantic James, moaning as usual. “C’mon, the jenson isn’t going to get any more power from you tinkering away at it!, besides we’ve just had a request come through on my computer”. Jason admitted his defeat....for now and stopped work on the Jenson.


He slammed the bonnet on the car and went with James into his office, which, to be honest wasn’t much cleaner than the garage Jason was working in. There pizza boxes littered everywhere, his computer monitor covered in paperwork and ,among other things, several dried coffee rings on top of the monitor, where he’d put his coffee. Roger walked through the doors of James’s office and asked what the case was about. James explained, “Right, the Police at the station want us to protect a shipment of gold coming from India in half an hour.”. Roger was slightly confused. “is that it then?”. Jason then crossed his legs and leaned cockily on the nearest wall. “This’ll be easy”.


All three men ran to their cars, ready for the off. The cars the team used were 3 brand new Jenson interceptors, which is where their team name came from. The outside, sleek and shiny. The inside, all leather and wood. This was 155bhp of perfection. Except Jeremy’s of course, which was 185bhp, and very messy on the inside and oily on the outside, and not too shiny either. Roger closed the door of the Interceptor Offices and ran to the car, to join his fellow collegues. All three men closed their car doors, started up engines and drove away in perfect harmony simultaneously. and then crashed when they all realised that the person in front would have to go first, which was Jason, then Roger in second, and then thirdly would be captain James sense-of-direction Steed. After their slight mishap, they were on their way.

Chapter 2: Hijack

Location: The Interceptor’s Office’s, London.
Time: 1:15pm
The office was littered even more with recently used coffee cups, decaying slowly in the office.There was also a board at the back of the room, called the “Crime- Board”. This is where James does his thinking into how to solve the cases The Interceptors get on a daily basis. James turned round at the board and looked at the Two men, one short, another fat and a bit wrinkly. “Come on James”, said Jeremy, “What have you found?”. “Nothing”, James Said, “But, BBC news did”. Roger scratched his ear and whispered, “great, we’re relying on something found on BBC news... still, it’s what it’s there for...boring you to hell”. Jason Nodded, but James gave his “not very happy face”. This face was usually aimed at Jason, for mocking his work, but was aimed at Hammond, as he was the only one of the three interceptors who watched BBC news. “Anyway, i managed to find the News-clip from the gold unloading from earlier this morning, and found a rather interesting frame from the video”. He pointed at a photo, and continued, “Guess what was seen in the distance?”. Jason and Roger looked at the photo really hard and saw a blue car, 3 men wearing red hats of some sort, and the gold being loaded into the car. The Shot James had shown the Two Interceptors was massively blurred, so no faces could be made out of the frame. James Continued; “Thanks to technology,i’ve sent that frame up on the IT man’s computer upstairs, and i’m waiting for him to re-stabilise the picture”. Jason and Roger stood confused, then Jason asked, “so, after you’ve done your computer.... thingy, we’ll be able to see who was in the frame?”. James Nodded.


All of a sudden, a loud bang could be heard from the garage. The Three Men ran into the interceptors, grabbing their sunglasses on the way, despite them being no help whatsoever. Jason’s Jenson’s Interceptor engine was smoking really heavily. He cried, “NOOO, NOOOO!”. James then pointed out to Clarkson that’s what happens when he tinkers with it too much. He opened the bonnet, and, lying on top of the smoking engine was a piece of paper. James picked up the piece of paper to reveal some writing, written in Newspaper cut-outs. He then read it out loud; “Stop your interference you three!, Piano’s are your weapon of choice, so Exploding your cars’ll be ours. TEMMOC!”. “What’s “TEMMOC!”?”. James was puzzled. Both Roger and James went to the Offices to work out what it meant, but Jason stayed behind to fix his dying Jenson.


“Whatever TEMMOC is, they know who we are, what we do and how beloved Jasons’s Jenson is”, Roger nodded”. He then pondered to himself, trying to decipher the Egnimatic letter. He sat in his Old, wooden chair, which had a red pillow for extra comfort. Roger then started to sit down where he was before, perpendicular to James’s seat. “One thing i don’t get is why put your initials on a letter, if you don’t want to be found out?”. James the picked up a pencil and bit his lip. It was several minutes until he thought of what he called a “Plausable theory”. Then the phone rang. It was a man from the IT office’s a floor above the Interceptors office’s. On James’s mug stained computer, an e-mail message popped up that was sent from the same man in the IT containing an attached file of the same image, but stabilised.

Chapter 3: Smoky The PC

James put the phone down and opened the attachment and stared at the picture carefully. The face’s were clearly visible, but it didn’t ring any bells to James. He dragged Clarkson and Roger to his computer and marched to his computer monitor and turned it around. “There. whoever’s in that Fez is probably responsible for the gold hijack”. Roger then spoke, enthusiastically, “well come on, lets go then!”. The James pointed a finger at them and told them to wait. “we can’t because i don’t want us tracking the wrong person. To make sure we don’t. i have face recognition software going through the list of faces on the Metropolitian police database of everyone in the UK”. “Let me guess”, butted in Jason, deliberatley, “it’s gonna take awhile?”. James nodded. “we’ll have to leave the computer on overnight, technology takes ages”.


It was 5:30pm, and the computer was still searching for that vital person. The Interceptor Team were shutting up shop and going to their luxurious Jenson interceptors. The door of the offices were locked behind them, with only a glow in the office to be seen. The computer light smothered the entire Interceptor office HQ with white light coming from its computer monitor. There was only the whirring noise of the computer that kept breaking the eerie silence. Hammond put the key in his pocket, he thn asked James; “so, James, why are you leaving the computer on again?”.


Location: The Interceptor’s offices, London.
Time: 8:36am.
Roger had the Key to the interceptor Office HQ, so no-one could get into the offices until HE was there. Which was bad for James, Jason and the 48 people who work in those offices (the 45 of those people are the IT consultants and some of MI5’s offices too)as Hammond was late...again. Hammond NEVER arrived on time for work, even if James said “i’m gonna order breakfast for you if you wake up at 8:00am”. Hammond was so used to being late that he had a Schedule of how late he was. and, bang on 8:38, Roger St. Hammond pulled up at the offices, with the hair all messed up, like a gale had just past through his hair, his red coat being looked like as if he’d crumpled it with an iron and his first 3 buttons of his T shirt undone, which he was still doing up while driving.
“I know, i’m late!”. He knew what James was going to say, so when he opened the door, he apologised to EVERY single staff member, again, and again, and again....


The Three Men got into their offices, unlocked the door to find.... a smashed computer. An arrow was found in the computer, with another note. it read, “ You Were Warned, 2 Tragedies close to your heart have been erased. how much longer do you have to catch us? signed: TEMMOC”. There was smoke coming from the computer being poured all over the room. Roger checked the note again. “TEMMOC, i’m still a bit puzzled on what that means”. Jason, unusually, helped the other two and got out a fire extinguisher from the garage, and sprayed it over the computer”. Several minutes later, the smoke had cleared and everyone from the offices was allowed back in by the interceptors.


“Great, so our computer’s bust, so James, how’d you propose we fix this then?”, siad Jason cockily. James went out of the offices to think while Roger and Jason started to whisper to each other. “You know who he reminds us of...”. Roger shook his head. Jason turned his head to James, who was still outside the offices thinking”. Jason continued, still whispering, “...Captain Slow!”. James came into the offices to explain his idea, when St. Hammond started to giggle. He ignored Hammond and said, “Right, we know what we have to do, we just need to find the location of our criminal murderers, and i had the liberty, and, because we’re the interceptors, the power to power up our magnet detector”. Roger leaned over to Jason’s ear and whispered “speaks like him too”. Jason and Roger started to laugh out loud. “what, so funny?....WHAT?”.

Chapter 4: Dark Gold

Location: Alleyway outside Chip Shop, Hammersmith, London.
Time: 9:45pm.
A car pulled up into an abandoned alleyway outside a Hammersmith Chippy. The place was misty, and was eerily quiet. The Alleyway had three exits, like one big “T”. Another car pulled up into the alleyway, and stopped. Another car pulled up at the other-side of the murky alleyway. The cars in question were Morris Mariners. A man came out of the first Morris Mariner. The Man was wearing a white suit, white jumper, and a red Fez. Another man came out of the other car. This one was wearing all black suit, black shirt and a blue bow-tie. He also had a moustache too, much like the one Zorro has in the film “Zorro”.


“Do you have it?”. The Man In the fez nodded. He opened the boot of the Mariner and, there it was, 49 bars of gold, the very same ones from the hijack. “ah, show me it”. Out of nowhere, A helicopter passed over the alleyway, with a spotlight shining down on the two men. Then men ran into their cars as quickly as possible, but before they could, the Interceptors had parked up right behind the two cars. Another Interceptor was waiting in the third exit-way. James, Jason and Roger got out of their cars and surrounded the two men. “James, your a genius... you really are captain slow!”. James thought to himself. Then didn’t bother asking back. Roger Put his thumb up and out of the sky rained down an organised S.W.A.T team, with guns pointed and poised at the men. No escape. Jason added. “James, i’m never saying that ever again!”.

Location: The Interceptor’s offices, London.
Time: 10:26am.
"So, tell me, Mr Steed, how'd you know it was us then?". James said, "well, theres a story for you. Before the Hijack of the gold, we put a big strip- magnet at the runway edges. The magnet was electric so, soon as something metal passed over it, it would change from north to south polarity. the Car would be magnetised for several seconds and the magnet would deploy its hidden tracker onto the car, which would lock onto the car permanantly". Roger continued, "All we needed to do is wait to see if anyone had hijacked the gold. and you were the people to do it". He pointed at the two men. they were angry now, really angry. Jason continued to tell their story, "And when we got a shot of you in the background thanks to BBC news, all we did was use an image editor to add a kinda, camera- shake effect". James gave his angry face at both of them...again.

"The car blowing up means that you knew where our offices were and we knew you'd strike again. Getting rid of us was your only option". He drew breath then continued". The original shot of you hijacking the gold is all stored on here.... ". He lifted up a tiny micro SD card. We set up a subliminal messaging trap. We set up 3 of the same pictures of you in the background all around the office, in the PC's light, making you see the face recognition software. You destroyed it, and we set up our own little Hijack".
The Men were sent away to the cells of London Metroplitian Police Station.


Fin.

Impressum

Texte: James East and BBC Top Gear
Bildmaterialien: BBC Top Gear
Lektorat: James East
Übersetzung: James East
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 06.02.2012

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