Dedication

• To the Almighty GOD who won my heart and made me His own.
• To my loving wife Oyelola Abiola who encouraged me to toe the path of writing this book.
• To my kids, Ayooluwa, and Ayanfeoluwa who are indeed God’s blessing and Instruments.
• To my dear Mum and wonderful siblings
• And finally, to all singles and youths out there who are the apple of God’s eyes and the focus of his undying love.

 

 

 

 

 

Acknowledgements

I will like to acknowledge God’s inspiration and help in writing this book. I also appreciate the following people who made vital contributions to ensuring its successful production.

 

Pastor (Dr.) Odun Orioke read the manuscripts and graciously accepted to write the foreword. Thank you, Daddy! My profound gratitude goes to the wonderful trio of Pastor (Prof.) Femi Koya, Rev. Kola Olaobaju, and Temiloluwa Akintaro (Mrs.) for painstakingly reading the draft for editing and general improvement. I also appreciate Rev. Sam Andrew for the opportunity to work with the youth and singles fellowship of Fruitbearers Chapel International.

 

Finally, I want to thank my good friends; Pastor & Mrs. Tope Taiwo, Deacon Ayotunde Akinnuga, Dipo Omisore, Dr. Yemi Akintade, Daniel Johnson (Eagle) and Pastor Dammy Akintaro for their encouragement and treasured contributions.

Foreword

Great relationships don’t just happen; they are a product of wise and deliberate actions. The courtship period is a time to lay solid foundations for a successful marriage. Just like all relationships, courtship has its own set of challenges which means it is necessary to understand how it works and what steps to take in resolving issues when they occur.

 

I have gone through this book and I must say that it is a splendid treatise on the subject. It is not only very spiritually sound but also very practical in its approach. I recommend it to singles and all youths who seek wise direction on purposeful, dynamic, and gainful courtship.

 

Over the years, Tunde Abiola has shown his passion for young people and the issues that are central to them. It was in recognition of this grace that he was ordained as a Pastor and youth minister in Christ Way Ministry International in the year 2009. I have no reservations in endorsing this work, or his ministry. Thank you.

 

Pastor (Dr.) Odun Orioke (G.O., Christ Way Ministries).

Introduction

WHY THIS BOOK?

 

I had the privilege of preparing an outline to teach some singles attending a family life workshop around May 2012. The topic given to me was "what to do when your relationship is not going well". I came up with a three-page material and kept the soft copy for future use and reference. Two years down the line, my wife was working on my laptop in the living room when she stumbled on this same write-up. She was so impressed by what she saw that she immediately came over to the bedroom where I was and gave me a small pep talk on why she felt I needed to do more in utilizing my gift in reaching out to young people. A few weeks after this conversation, I was on my way to work when an idea struck me that I could develop the three-page outline into a complete book. I had peace with this thought and felt strongly that the book would go a long way in helping singles to properly position themselves for successful relationships and ultimately, for happy and fulfilling marriages.

 

I have modified the topic of the initial article to title this book "Resolving Issues in Courtship" This was done to refine the focus and to help in addressing various challenges that are associated with this type of relationship. In this book, I have delved into issues that usually confront courting couples and suggested effective ways of handling them. Living in denial of problems is counterproductive: when a problem is properly diagnosed, you can be sure that fifty percent of it has already been solved. Diagnosis alone will not solve a problem; knowing what to do when issues come up is an invaluable asset especially in a potential life-defining relationship like courtship. It is my desire that this book will be of great benefit to everyone who reads it and especially to those who are in a relationship preparing for marriage. This is a soul searching the practical manual for successful courtship. Read it prayerfully with an open mind and feel free to share it with others. I thank you for making out time to read this work and I eagerly look forward to hearing from you in the form of comments, suggestions, questions, and inquiries.

 

Tunde Abiola 

email: abiolatunde@gmail.com

mobile: +2348034742188, +2348032000124

twitter: @abiola_tunde  |Facebook: Abiola Olumide Olatunde   |Instagram: Olatunde_abiola 

Chapter One

 COURTSHIP AT A GLANCE

 

True life experience

 

"I had a long-distance courtship; my fiancée was working in Lagos (South West, Nigeria), while I served as a pastor in another state. We started our relationship a few months after we met and before I made my move, I took time to ask questions about her. I asked my friends that knew her and I noted their comments. I also spoke with her pastor and he told me that “if he had a brother he would have recommended her to him”. I went a step further and met her to ask direct questions. After all my findings, I spoke to my pastors and they prayerfully confirmed she was ok. At that stage, I felt there was no need delaying further since God had spoken to me about her before. I approached her and she graciously accepted my proposal!

 

Due to the distance involved, we didn’t have much time in the relationship. We had to buy special phone lines that allowed us to talk for 24hours a day with just 100 Naira recharge. We prayed together on the phone and shared lots of text messages too. Whenever I traveled to Lagos to see her I always slept in a friend's house since we had to meet at eateries after closing hours. I was traveling at least once in two weeks to Lagos and we used the little time we had to build our relationship and so we became very close and dear to each other. Our emotions became so high that we had to put in place control measures to check ourselves. We agreed and wrote on paper what we could do in our courtship and what we couldn't do. We decided to greet each other only with a light or side hug at arrival and departure and not to go beyond that. We said NO to sex, kissing, touching, necking, and fondling.

  

We had our wedding eleven months after our courtship started and in the early days of our marriage, I had to endure some lonely times before my wife resigned from her job to join me in my base, and through the help of God, she was able to secure another good job. "   - V. T.

 

Courtship in a nutshell

 

Courtship is a well-defined relationship between two singles (of the opposite sex) who share the commitment of getting married. For courtship to start, a clear expression of interest or what we usually call a "proposal" must have been made and accepted. The courtship period is an excellent time for intending couples to further study and understand their partners and confirm if they are truly meant for each other. Courtship is the foundation on which marriage is built. Being the foundation, it is a phase in life that requires much wisdom and guidance in other to avoid making regrettable mistakes.

 

On proposals

 

The norm is for men to propose and for ladies to respond (with a yes or......). The lady must not assume that the man has proposed, she must be very clear on his spoken intentions and may even need to ask for clarification if necessary. This point should be noted carefully by ladies because many have been emotionally

Impressum

Verlag: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 16.05.2020
ISBN: 978-3-7487-4124-4

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About the Author Tunde Abiola is a minister of God with a special calling and passion for youths, singles, and young married people. He graduated from Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife with a degree in Computer Engineering and has been privileged to work three of the foremost Information Technology and Telecommunications companies in Nigeria. As an undergraduate at Ife, he served as the fellowship president of Christ Way Campus Resource (CWCR) and a member of the Committee of Presidents for the University Joint Christian Mission (UJCM). He was ordained as a Pastor in November 2009 by Pastor (Dr.) Odun Orioke, the General Overseer of Christ Way Ministries International. He has also been part of the youth set up of Fruitbearers Chapel International, Lagos. He currently serves as the Pastor-in-Charge of the Rock of Ages Parish (Oworonshoki, Lagos) of The Redeemed Christian Church of God.   He is happily married to Lola and they are blessed with two wonderful children.