It was just another day for Aubrey, since the divorce. She went to work and home on auto pilot . Sat staring blankly into the television, didn’t matter what was on. She would stand at the fridge endlessly not knowing what to eat , there was no desire in her life anymore. She had no idea how she went from living a practical fairy tale, to this? As a child she knew her life would be different, considering her gift, but never did she imagine this.
She saw something in the corner of her eye. “Steve,?” she knew he was there again. Trying to be supportive for her. “I am not in the mood today. I know not lately.” She felt his presence leave her , he was upset with her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Steve had been her guide for many years, sometimes she was very receptive to what he wanted to communicate with her. And other times she totally ignored him. She often wondered why he stuck with her? She knew why, he had told her , he loved her. He often wished he was still alive to be with her, but alas that was not his place.
The phone rang, “hello,” exasperated. “No mom, I am fine.” Her mother was concerned with her, “ I will come over on the weekend, we’ll go shopping and to lunch, will that make you feel better?” She waited for her reply, her mother sounded unconvinced but agreed to the plan. She then hung up the phone and plopped down on the couch, “Just great, now I have to act like everything is fine.” She turned on the tv . There was talk of summer fun everywhere. What fun? My husband decided that a teeny bopper was more to his liking, how could he? Her problem was that Steve had been trying to tell her and this was one of the times that she chose to ignore what he was saying.
“Steve!” Aubrey needed his comfort now. He has got to be confused. She felt him arrive, sitting near her. “I’m sorry, I was so flippant earlier. My mom wants me to be normal again and I can’t.”
“I know that it is hard for you, you still feel he was the one for you. You will be fine and you will realize the right guy is still out there waiting for you.”
Aubrey looked in his direction even though he is not there. “I am so hoping that you are right, when does this get better?”
“Very soon,” Steve rested his arm around her shoulders wishing he was visible to her. She felt the warm go down her back. Even though Steve was not anything more than energy she always felt him and wished her was a living being. He would have been perfect for her. She suddenly felt very tired and lay down on her side of the couch. He gently caressed her feet as she fell asleep. The tingle always did that to her.


Aubrey woke up in the middle of the night to a news report. Two dead in a car accident . Oh no!! It was John and his new girlfriend, how? The phone then rang again. It was John’s friend , “I wanted to call you before you heard this somewhere else,”
“ I just saw it on television, what happened?”
“ Apparently he was drinking and ran off the road. They had been fighting earlier in the evening and left the party early. He just kept telling her how stupid he was for losing you. I am so sorry he didn’t realize it before this happened, he would be alive right now.”
“ I just can’t believe it. I know I already lost him but at least he was still around, just not around me. And to find out that he realized how he felt about me makes it even worse.”
“ I didn’t mean to make this worse for you. I just thought you should know what he had been thinking about.” Luke was always a good friend to both of them. She could hear how much he was feeling about all of this.
“ Thanks for the call, you know I value your friendship even though we haven’t been close recently with all that had happened. Keep me informed with what is going to happen after this. “ She was holding back the tears, “ I gotta go now, really. I don’t mean to cut you short, but I am falling apart inside.” She hung up.
Aubrey laid back down on the couch. She did not cry, she just lay in the fetal position and stared blankly at the wall. She would never have him back in her life. Never feel his touch or hear his voice again. How could you do this to me God? She asked silently as she drifted back to sleep.


John looked at her as she slept, being married to her was the most wonderful thing in his life. She opened her eyes and caught him staring. “What are you doing, silly? “
“Just looking at my wife.” Sometimes he felt so goofy in love with her. “You are so sweet when you sleep, and then you wake up, Jesus, what a difference.”
She gently slapped him in the arm, “Thanks a lot.” She then hopped out of bed for her shower. He hopped out to go in after her. She heard the shower curtain open and waited for him to wash her back. These times were the best in her life. It was summer, she had some time off from work and she had a husband that she loved and enjoyed every moment shared.
They finished with their shower and jumped back into bed. They just lay there looking at each other. “Let’s go to the beach.” Aubrey was jumping on the bed on all fours, “I want to frolic in the sun and sand with you.”
“As I would love to do that with you also.” There was a gleam in his eyes, as usual. He then got up and started to get ready to go. Aubrey lay there daydreaming about their perfect life for a few moments before doing the same.
Steve, her spirit guide whispered in her ear. “ I am so glad to see you happy.”
“Me too,” She replied quietly.
“Let’s go slowpoke!!”
“I am almost ready to go, are you packing something to eat out there?”
“Yes, a little picinic for us.” John was already enjoying himself and they hadn’t even gone yet.

The drive to the beach was great, top down, wind in her hair. She hoped these days would never end. They found a great parking spot and headed out to their favorite spot on the beach. She spread out the blanket and set out the food. They sat and enjoyed their meal. “That was wonderful, you are such a great chef.” They embraced, the love they shared was so all encompassing, where did one end and the other begin? Aubrey got up and ran into the surf, John followed her laughing. They embraced again and just waded in the water, talking about everything under the sun and the future they were planning.

The drive back was just as nice as on the way there. Aubrey’s smile lit up John’s world. They stopped at a roadside diner for dinner.
“Did you ever think life could be this good?” John asked her quietly.
“I dreamed that it could, and the little voice in my head said it would. But in my heart of hearts I never imagined this. I am surely the happiest that I have ever been in my life.” Aubrey took his hand and squeezed it.
“Wow, I am so glad I have made you feel that way and hope to keep doing it. I truly know you are the best thing in my life. Even after five years of marriage I feel more for you every single day. I love you.”
“I love you too. “


Aubrey woke up on the couch a little confused. “What the hell?” There was a thin layer of salt on her skin, as if she had been to the beach. It was so real but that was just too much. She did not remember that ever happening, was it a dream or a memory. Is this just a dream? She pinched herself to see if it was, no guess not.
Steve arrived as usual in the morning, “Are you okay?”
Even though she felt crazy on occasion she answered him anyway. “I am not sure if I am. I had the weirdest dream and it seemed to follow me home. I wish you could feel my skin to prove it.”
“I don’t need to, there is sand on the couch by your feet. You dreamed of the beach?” Steve although a spirit was stunned by the occurrence .
“I am going to take a shower, this is just odd. No peeking now.”
Steve laughed a little, he really did let her have privacy in the bedroom and definitely the bathroom.
Aubrey practically ran to the shower. She could not understand how that could happen. Believing in the supernatural was one thing but this was ridiculous. She could almost smell John on her again. How could that be. Aubrey then got ready for work and headed out trying to get the thoughts of the dream out of her head. She was afraid to think about it too much.
Aubrey got home thinking the usual she got through another day. Now totally without John or even the chance to get him back. What was she to do, go on with life she supposed. She had a microwaveable meal and sat down in front of the television again. Nothing looked good so she headed to bed. As she fell asleep she hoped to dream again, dream of John and the life that should have continued to have.

This time Aubrey woke up remembering her dream, “What the hell?”
John overheard what she said, “what’s going on babe?”
“I don’t know?” She didn’t want to tell him of the dream because it was not something she wanted to come to pass. To lose him would be the death of her. She then snuggled up to him and went back to sleep.
Aubrey awoke again, alone in the bed. Which one is the dream? Where is he? “Are you there Steve?” Was anyone here? She was practically hyperventilating. Maybe if I go back to sleep, things will get back to normal, she thought. Maybe I am finally losing my mind? Aubrey was so flustered and then she heard the front door open and close. There was John with breakfast.
“I didn’t want to wake you so I went to our favorite diner and got you an omelet. Are you okay?”
“Yes, I am, please promise me you will never leave.”
“I won’t, you are my heart and soul, and you can’t live without those.” John looked at her with worry in his eyes. He had been flirting with this girl at work. At this very moment he decided that would be the stupidest thing that he could do to them. He went into the kitchen to get their coffee.
Steve came in knowing that Aubrey was dressed. “Things will be fine now, “ He said cryptically.
“Really?, what is going on Steve?” she wondered. “Were you screwing with us?”
Steve always loved Aubrey and he wanted for her to be happy, he knew the thoughts that John was having. He had to do something drastic to fix it.
“I love you too Steve, thank you. I know if you did that is was for a reason and I will leave it at that.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 03.07.2010

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