Cover

Chapter 1






“Where I’ve been in my life and where I am going is two different things. My life wasn’t always as perfect as it should have been. I was smart in my own kind of way. Whatever I put my mind to I could accomplish it in no time. My parents were both drug addicts only difference between them was that my mom was the abuser and my stepdad the molester. I hated them both but for now my story has ended, and today I committed suicide here’s my story.”
My name is Katelyn Marie Marshall

I laid there listening to the rain and praying that he would get off of me. The painful feeling of my insides ripping hurt like hell. The stings of my tears burned the bruises of my face. Once again she had left for work and left me there with him. “You better not tell anyone.” He said throwing the covers over me and slamming my bedroom door. I waited until I heard him close his bedroom door to sneak my way to the bathroom. I cut on the cold water and prepared myself for another all night soak in the tub to subside the burning and hurting from my bruises. I stood there in the mirror and looked at my 12 year old body. I rub my trembling fingers across the spots of purple and blue on my arm. I looked at my perfect face and its scars of imperfection. My perfect dark auburn hair that I use to see as my crown and glory now stuck to the dried up bloody scars on my face. “Katelyn Marie Marshall get your ass down here now and clean this fucking house up.” I heard her yell as she came inside. I cut the water off and slowly walked to the edge of the stairs, and before I could prepare myself to walk own them she was already rushing up them towards me. She pushed me to the floor and started kicking and punching me wherever she could. Each blow only making the pain my fragile body already held even worse. I laid there in a fetal position with more tears stinging my face and praying for this god or whoever he was to make her stop and realize how much she was hurting me. I looked up and saw him standing there with a smile on his face laughing as if this were some kind of game or joke. I wanted to yell out daddy please make her stop please help me, but I only knew that would make it worse. After of what felt like a lifetime of beating he finally put out his cigarette and walked towards her. “Okay I think the little bitch has had enough you can stop now.” I watched as she kicked me for the last time

and walked off into their room with him I knew that the exact thing he had done to me he was about to do to her. Only difference between me and her was that she liked it and I hated it. I laid there until I heard the sound of the head board against the wall and knew it was okay to move. I slowly got up and winced at the intense pain my body now held. I walked downstairs preparing myself to clean up only to find that the house was already clean. What the hell was she talking about cleanup it was already clean down here there is nothing to be cleaned. I grabbed my raggedy back pack and took my science book out of it and flipped through the pages. I sat on the floor in the living room and sat there for what seemed like hours until I finally heard footsteps. I turned around to see which ones were they hers or his only to turn and meet the back of her hand against my face. “Stay the fuck away from my man you little whore or else.” She said before disappearing to the kitchen. I listened to what appeared to be her preparing dinner in the kitchen. My stomach started growling and I edged my way to the door opening to get a whiff of what she was cooking. Only to meet the back of her hand again. “Get the fuck away from my kitchen I don’t feed hoes they feed their self around here. I got up and grabbed my stuff and ran to my room and closed my door. I laid there in my bed for what seemed like hours. I grabbed the picture of me, her, and my real dad from under my bed mattress. Tears began to fall as reality sunk in. This was my life and there was nothing I could do about it I missed when we were happy and things were fun and loving. Most of all I missed my dad it had been a year ago today since my dad passed away. I remember it like it was a recent event my dad had left for the Army and three weeks after he left two men in uniform came and knocked on the door. My mom was fixing dinner and I was doing homework. The rest is too painful to remember but just know that losing my dad was the least of my problems. I never thought my life would be so painful.


Chapter 2



Somewhere in between me crying and laying in my bed last night I must have fell asleep, because today I woke up to him and her arguing downstairs. I laid there in bed and listened as kids were leaving and going to school. Me I wasn’t allowed to go to school, but I managed to go from time to time with him or her knowing. I laid there listening to the footsteps as they came up the stairs. “Katelyn get your ass up Katelyn.” I listened as she ran up the stairs and busted in my room. ‘Girl didn’t you hear me I said get your ass up. I opened my eyes and met the back of her hand. “Didn’t I tell you to clean up last night huh didn’t I.” with each word I met the back of her hand each swing hurting worse than the last. “Now get your ass up and clean this damn house.” She said walking out of my room. I turned my head towards my window and seen my next door neighbor looking in my window. Tears began to slide down my face it was times like these I wanted to die and just leave the phases of the earth all together. I got up slowly out of my bed and walked over to my drawer to get out my raggedy close for today. When she was here I wasn’t allowed to bathe in the house. She said dogs bathe outside where they belonged and that they didn’t have the luxury of bathing inside and if caught she would kill them. In other words if I were caught bathing in the house she would kill me. I went outside to the back yard and cut on the water I grabbed my bucket and filled it with water. I began to clean myself up until I caught the eyes of him looking down on me from upstairs. I quickly cleaned myself up and threw on my clothes. I hated him I wanted to kill him and make him suffer slowly. I gathered up my clothing and put them in the bucket of water and began to clean them. I felt as if someone were standing over me. I turned around and bumped right into his chest. “Hurry the hell up I’m hungry slut.” Was what he said to me. In the back of my mind I wanted to curse him and call him names the way he did me. I tried to ease my way pass him but he grabbed me and shoved his hands down the front of my pants I flinched at him and watched as she came outside by the look on her face I could tell she was fired up and ready for war. I knew he heard her too because he took his hands out of my pants and walked off. She walked up to me and began to hit me repeatedly over and over. I fell to the ground and met the bottom of her work boots as the kicked me over and over again until my body went numb and everything became blurry. I couldn’t see out of my left eye but with my right I could see her boot come down for its final time as everything around me went completely black.

Chapter 3



I woke up to what felt like water being poured on me. “Get your ass up.” She said walking back in the house. I got up and went inside for my morning routine. I snatched my sheets and my blanket and headed for the basement to wash my stuff. I gathered my stuff and decided that I would use the bathroom down there to get ready that way I wouldn’t be in their way if and when they got up. After putting my things in the washing machine and turning it on I closed and locked the basement door so that they couldn’t get down to bother me or start any drama. I ran my bath water and proceeded to soak away the dried blood that was on my skin. I bit my bottom lip as I eased down in the warm almost hot water I admitted that it burned, but after a while the warmness soaked into my skin and the pains began to subside and fade away. It hadn’t even been five minutes when I heard her banging at the basement door. I decided to get up and push the heavy Chester in front of the door so that they really couldn’t get in. I swear I could live in this basement and avoid them all together. “Katelyn unlock this fucking door right now.” She yelled. I sat there and laughed at how she was literally wasting her time trying to get in here knowing she couldn’t. After my hour soak my skin had returned to its usual color and majority of the scars were invisible. I decided to sponge my body down with some peroxide and put Neosporin and Band-Aids on majority of the visible scars you could almost see. My outfit for the day consisted on a pair of boot cut blue jeans and a thermal baby phat long sleeve shirt. All of which Ms. Ruthie the nice old lady I called grandma next door would get her grandson to jump across the fence and bring every morning to my window. After getting dressed and brushing my hair into the perfect ponytail I continued to get settled and dressed for the day. After hearing the front door slam twice and looking out of the small basement window to see if the car was pulling out and waiting for them both to drive off. I moved the Chester and headed next door to Ms. Ruthie’s for some real breakfast before school. I walked outside and the cold Ohio air hit me like nothing I grabbed my coat and proceeded out the door. I cross the yard and entered Ms. Ruthie’s yard through the small gate. “Grandma Katelyn is here.” Joey yelled. I opened the door and followed the smell of homemade butter biscuits. “Good morning family.” I said kissing Ms. Ruthie on the cheek and sitting down in my usual seat. “Good Morning my Katelyn.” Ms. Ruthie said running her hand over the Band-Aid I had on my face. I watched as she shook her head and quickly turned away. “Katelyn, Why do you have a Band-Aid on your face?” Samuel Ms. Ruthie’s youngest grandson asked me. I looked at Ms. Ruthie who was busy fixing plates and humming. “It’s a new fashion statement Sammie.” I said blowing off his question. Ms. Ruthie Placed our breakfast in front of us and took her seat. I looked at her, joey, and Samuel and wished my family at home was more like theirs. Samuel said prayer and we ate our breakfast in peace. Afterwards we all headed out the door for our usual day of school.

Chapter 4



At school it really didn’t seem as if everything got better. I had to deal with kids picking and pointing at my scars. On top of that I got jumped and the money I had taken this morning to get something to eat for later was now gone so I would not be eating anything tonight. I decided that maybe she was right about this school thing what was the use it’s not like I was learning anything. By my third class I was tired of the constant stares and snickers from my classmates so I decided to get up and leave I raised my hand for the bathroom pass. “Yes Ms. Marshall what is it this time?” Mr. Barkley asked. “Can I get the restroom pass?” I asked giving him just as much attitude as he gave me. I watched as he slowly walked towards his desk and took his time searching for the pass. By now I was irritated and decided to say to hell with it and walked out the class without it. I listened as the sound of Mr. Barkley yelling my name became a whisper in my ear. I stepped out into a world of dark clouds and large water puddles. I stood there in the exit of the school and looked at the scenery. I decided to head towards my neighborhood where I lived with him and her. The closer I got the more my pain and hurt came back to my body. When I reached the house my heart sanked down into my shoes both cars were in the driveway. I slowly walked up to the house and put my hand on the door knob. I stood there for what may have been forever I could hear the screams, the words, the glass shattering, and the punches of him hitting her. I stood there shaking as if it was zero below freezing. The warmness of the tears sliding down face, I turned to walk away but ended up walking into someone’s chest. Whoever I was they took me in their arms and held me there. I looked up to see my grandma smiling down at me. A sense of relief swept over me as se stroked my hair and began humming my favorite song. “Why are you not at school young lady?” she asked me. I sat down on the steps and put my head down in my hands. “Mama says school is for dummies and that it’s a waste of time and I am never going to get anywhere with it.” I said catching tears in my hand. I watched as my grandma’s face went from caring and loving to hurt and anger. “Lisa! LISA!..” I listened to my grandma yell for her as she walked upstairs. I sat at the bottom of the steps and continued to hold my face in my hands. “Ma what the hell do you want?” she said coming out her room. I turned around to look at her and she cut me a look that made my heart jump into my throat. I decided to walk pass her and go to my room. I left the door cracked so that I could hear my grandma chew her out. I watched as my granny came towards me and pushed my door open. “Come on Katelyn lets go.” She said. I looked at her with a confused look on my face, and watched as she put all my clothes and belonging in a big trash bag. “Come on Katelyn lets go we going home.” She said grabbing my hands. At that very moment words couldn’t describe how I felt. Was it true? Was I really leaving the hell hole I was forced to call home? I turned around and seen him standing there beside her. The look on their faces wasn’t what really scared me the most it was knowing that if something went wrong with grandma I would be coming back. Once outside I hugged and kissed Ms. Ruthie and the boys. She winked at me I knew she had called granny and told her what had went on the other day. I made sure to hug her extra tight and tell her thank you as my tears fell as Granny and I

left walking hand in hand.

Impressum

Texte: Destiny Bowman
Bildmaterialien: Destiny Bowman
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 11.06.2012

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