Just tonight

Author's note:My second fanfic , just something I came up with myself , but the first chapter is set after2x08 ,,Rose'' . This is a Delena story , even though it seems to be Stelena .I don't think that this one is going to be a oneshot.I don't own the Vampire diaries nor the characters.Enjoy!

Five years ago...

Salvatore boarding house


"What do you mean you don't know where he is?'' Elena shouted at Stefan, anger inflaming her body.

"I don't know what happened this time. I don't know what's going on. He just left and took every single piece of clothing he had and all of his journals. I tried to call him, but he turned off his phone.'' Stefan said hopelessly, concern burning through his eyes.

No! This can't be happening, this can't be happening... He can't be gone for good... Damon can't be gone...He needs to be here, with his devilish grin that's always on his face and his funny sarcastic comments... He is Damon… He can't be gone... Elena thought to herself, unshed tears filling her eyes.

He meant too much to her, she wanted here, she needed him here. He can't be gone. He just can't.

"Elena...'' Stefan whispered, immediately gaining her attention. He was holding something in his hands, his voice laced with hurt.

"What?'' she asked, trying to figure out what was going on with him. Why would he be sounding hurt? It's not like he Damon leaving was breaking his heart.

Stefan handed her over some piece of paper, without saying anything. Confused, she took it from his hand. Her eyes widened as she read it.

I can't take it anymore. I'm leaving Mystic Falls and I don't think I'll be coming back anytime soon. Take good care of Elena.

Sincerely,

Damon

Elena's hands started to shake and her tears began to spill over. She had read the letter over and over again, until she felt Stefan's hand grace her shoulder. He took the paper away from her and threw it into the fireplace. He pulled her into a hug and let her sob her heart out. She let him comfort her, knowing she desperately needed it, while watching Damon's last words fade away into ash.


The present day


Salvatore boarding house


Elena had just stepped into the place and noticed something was different. No one was there and the lights were off. She put her car keys on an end table, right next to the door and turned on the lights.

"Happy Birthday Elena!'' Bonnie, Caroline, Matt, Stefan, and bunch of other people shouted at her. Jumping in front of her, from their hiding places.

Elena was surprised--- she hadn't expected anyone today except for Stefan--- that was how they had agreed. Everyone was smiling widely, waiting for her response.

She was sad today, as she was any other day since Damon left. Damon, just thinking of his name brought unwanted tears to her eyes. She hurriedly blinked then away. She didn't feel like smiling, but did it anyway. Just to humor them.

"Wow! Thank you guys, so much. I really didn't expect this. '' she said, pulling off her best happy act, and hoping they would buy it.

She could see relief wash through everyone's face. They thought that she was going to be sad, but when it turned out that she was indeed happy, that it was cool, they all relaxed. Or at least they were buying off of her stance and the way she reacted.

"And I should have known that Stefan was just bluffing.'' she scolded, turning her gaze over at him.

He smiled sheepishly, but it soon turned into a full blown genuine smile. She tried to return with a genuine smile of her own, but all she could do was a pretend smile.

When the party really started, and everyone left their gifts on the table, it was time to make a great performance at how happy she was today. He left five years ago and never came back. Elena never found out why he did leave. One day, he decided to go and left them that letter.

The letter that was burned into ashes the very night he had written it. Elena caught herself at times staring at the fireplace, hoping, wishing for an answer. But no matter how hard she tried nothing ever came up. She never understood why he did it.

Maybe he was sick of saving her all the time. Maybe he just wanted to be alone. Whatever the reason was she never found out why.

She missed him more than anything and she was hoping that he would come back someday. She was sad without him--- all the time--- but she was even more sad today, because five years ago, on her birthday, Damon threw her an amazing party and she remembered very well that she had a good laugh that night.

She remembered every second of that night--- Damon had gotten really drunk and wanted to kiss her, but even though she wanted it to happen, she wouldn't. She was with Stefan and she could never do that to him.

She remembered his icy blue eyes and the way he was looking at her that night; with shameless hunger. She missed those eyes so bad, and she would give everything just for another look at them. She could see them on his pictures, but the feeling wasn't the same as when he was looking at her. She felt like she was in a dream, or in heaven.

So, she was pretty bummed today.And the whole her being happy was just an act. Elena just hoped that Stefan would buy it. He knew that she missed his brother--- sometimes, when she thought that she was alone, he would catch her staring at Damon's pictures or sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace--- his favorite drinking spot.

Stefan was looking at Elena--- she seemed to be happy and she was talking to people with a big smile on her face, but he knew better than that. She caught his stare and waved him from the other side of the room. He returned the wave and smiled. He would do anything just to make her happiness real.

The first few months when Damon left, were terrible--- the minute Elena read that letter something changed in her. He could tell that she was different--- her smile wasn't genuine and the sparkle from her eyes was missing.

Elena was pretending that she was alright, but she wasn't. The second night, since Damon left, when Stefan went hunting. He found her asleep on Damon's bed, his pillow tight in her arms. As much as he missed his brother, Stefan hated that she smelled like him that night.

He knew that Elena loved him, but he also knew that she loved Damon too. He knew that those two had a special connection, something that he didn't really understand. When Elena and Damon were together, it was like they were thinking as one person. And because of that, he was afraid that he was going to lose her forever.

He couldn't stand the thought, even though deep down, he knew that she was slipping away from him. It was funny how she'd underestimate him, she thought that he didn't know what was going on with her.

He didn't know what to do about her happiness. She moved in with him, and that was good, but she was still miserable without Damon. Stefan knew the second he'd found that letter, that his big brother wasn't coming back. Maybe, just maybe for a century or two, but nothing sooner.

He could guess why did he left. He had several theories, but he was afraid to think that any of them were right. He was lying to himself by believing that Damon needed some space from everyone and everything. He knew the real reason why'd he left. He was just too damn afraid to think of it.

"Hey, Stefan. You look deep in thought. What's on your mind?'' Bonnie came to him and asked.

"Nothing. I'm just worried for her.'' he said, nodding his head towards her, still staring at Elena. Bonnie looked at her direction and nodded.

"You're not the only one.'' Stefan looked at her surprised. "I'm her best friend. I know things she doesn't even tell me.'' Bonnie pointed out.

"I think that this situation is affecting her too much than it really should.'' Stefan said.

"Yeah , well I'm not surprised. They were really good friends.'' Bonnie stopped before she would say something that would piss off Stefan. And he knew exactly what was she going to say.

"Go on. You can say it. '' he said, as drank his whole glass of champagne.

"Say what?''

"Don't play dumb with me. I'm not stupid. I know that what Elena and Damon had, what we'll never have. An understanding, special connection, all that stuff.'' he was now drinking his fourth glass.

Bonnie didn't know what to say. He was right. Elena and Damon were like two puzzle pieces that were matching to each other.

"It will get better. I'm sure.'' Bonnie gave Stefan a sympathetic smile.

"No, it won't. You don't have to cheer me up. It's okay. '' he was more than drunk right now. He took a spoon from the table and tapped it on his glass. "May I have your attention everyone?''

"Stefan, what are you doing?'' Bonnie whispered through her teeth, but she didn't get a response.

When everyone was silenced and staring at Stefan he started, "First of all, I would like to thank everyone for coming here tonight.'' he smiled, raising his glass and downing it.

Nobody suspected anything, even though they'd seen that he was drunk, they just guessed that he was just celebrating. Oh were they so wrong.

"Today is my beautiful girlfriend's birthday and she's turning 22. Cheers to that!'' he said and everyone raised their glasses to her shouting "Cheers!''.


Elena was just smiling at their happy faces.


"But, wait! I'm not finished.'' Stefan said as everyone was about to turn back to their conversations. When he was sure that he got their attention again, he continued with his speech. "And let's have another toast to a very special person, who happens not to be Elena. Even though she's very special, but no. This is for someone else, someone who isn't here tonight.'' Stefan slurred.

"Oh, boy. '' Bonnie muttered to herself, knowing what was coming.

"You see, this person is very special to me and Elena, and I'm sure, to most of you too.'' he pointed his glass at people."Why is this person so special? Well, if you must know--- he's my dear brother, who left five years ago leaving nothing behind, just a very short goodbye letter.''

Elena smile was replaced by horror on her face because of his words. "And he loves Elena, and she loves him, and she misses him so bad.. You see, they have so much chemistry and, as far as I know, they are soul-mates. As I was saying, she misses him so much. Did ya know that she slept on his bed, the second day since he left? Ya didn't? Well, you do now.” he chuckled. “Now, let's all raise our glasses to Elena and Damon and their undying love!'' he shouted and drank his whole glass.

Everyone turned their attention to Elena. Her eyes filled up with tears at his words and she couldn't believe what he'd just said. It was like he stabbed her with a knife in her heart.

She couldn't look at anyone but him, and he was just smiling at her, like a psychopath. She couldn't stand this any longer. Her tears started to spill over and she quickly ran upstairs, with everyone's glances focused at her.

The truth

Author's note:It took me a while to write this chapter . I just had a few ideas how to start it , but I really had to think it through and decide which one is going in this chapter . However , thanks to everyone who commented the previous chapter-and it seems that you like my story , so I'll continue writing it . I don't own the Vampire diaries nor the characters . Hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

Salvatore boarding house

After what Elena witnessed , she just ran to her and Stefan's room and locked the door.

She sat on the bed and plunged her face into the pillow to stifle her loud sobs . She could not believe this. How could he did this to her?How could he be so cruel? She knew that this was her fault .

She should have ended things with him a long time ago , but she didn't want to give up on them , even though she did know that that was pointless , but every time she wanted to break up with him , something forced her not to . She didn't even get herself . She loved Damon , and she also loved Stefan just in a different way .

And every time she wanted to go and search for Damon , again , it was like some bigger force was stopping her. She didn't know what was going on with her .

Suddenly , she heard a soft knock on the door .

"Elena?Hey , it's me - Bonnie . Caroline and I made everyone leave , it's okay . Would you , please open the door?" she asked politely .

Elena slowly stud up and dragged herself to the door and unlocked it .

Bonnie opened it , and found a terrible view in front of her- Elena's hair was totally messed up , her eyes were red and swollen . She didn't know any other way how to cheer her up , so she embraced her in a hug .

" Elena , I am so sorry!He shouldn't have done that. "

"No , he shouldn't have." Elena said , bitterly .

"He knew that those words would hurt me ! And he'd done it anyway . " she started sobbing again .

"Shhh...Calm down everything's gonna be okay."Bonnie tried to comfort her .

Elena didn't respond-she just cried in her arms .

"I just don't understand myself!I mean , I wanted to break up with him many times , but it's like something's not allowing me to do it- guilty conscience or something else , I don't know!" Elena confessed .

Bonnie suddenly stopped hugging her."Elena , there is something you need to know."

Her voice sounded odd and Elena looked at her with question in her eyes . Bonnie took a deep breath and sat Elena on the bed and sat next to her .

She looked nervous , and that made Elena stop crying , because she was very curious what she'd had to say . And , this seemed to be important .

"What I'm about to say..." Bonnie shook her head ."I've been meaning to say this a long time ago , but I couldn't . I just couldn't.You'll be furious , but I need to tell you . I can't keep this from you anymore ." Elena was now more than confused. Why would she be furious at Bonnie?

Bonnie took a deep breath once again ,and said :
"After Damon left you were depressed and it seemed like you were about to have a breakdown and you were alienating from Stefan...And I wanted to do something , but I told myself that would do no good , so I didn't . At first . Then as months passed by , you weren't getting better . And then... one night , Stefan came to me . ":

Bonnie's flashback from that nightand also her P.O.V.

I was listening to one of my favorite CDs-Waking up by One republic . Then I heard a knock on the door. I got up from the couch and opened the door. I was a bit surprised when I saw who was my visitor .

,, I need to talk to you . " he said without saying hello .

"Stefan. Come in. " and I stepped back so he could . "Please , sit . " I said and pointed to the couch .

Once I shut the door ,I joined him on the couch .

"So , tell me . What's going on?" I asked him .

" It's Elena . She has been so depressed since Damon left . I feel like I'm losing her . I tried to fix things on my own , I tried to talk to her about it , but she wouldn't . She just told me that he's gone and there's nothing to talk about . I don't know what to do anymore . You gotta help me . " his voice was shaking at the end and he almost looked like he was losing it .

" I don't know , Stefan . I don't think that this is the right thing to do. " I said , almost totally refusing him.

"Please , Bonnie . There must be something that you can do .There must be a spell that you can cast. Please , I'm begging you . It's Elena . " he was slightly panicking .

He was right . Elena is my best friend and I can't bare to look at her like this . She needs my help .

Even though I knew that she would kill me if I did this behind her back , I needed to do it anyway .

She is like a sister to me and I would do anything for her , just to make her feel better .

" Okay. Wait here , I'm going to check the spell-book . " as I was saying those words , I saw Stefan's face brighten up . I went to my room and got the spell-book from the top shelve .

I sat on my bed and started searching for the right spell .

15 minutes later

I came back to the living room with the spell-book opened , in my arms .

Stefan looked nervous , while playing with his thumbs.

"Ithinkthat I found it , but I'm not so quite sure about it . " I said , interrupting his 'thumb game' , letting him know that I was here . He stopped playing and looked up at me .

"It's something about feeling better with your partner , but the second page is ripped off . So , I'm not sure what the side-effects are ." I said as I sat on the couch again.

"What do you think the side-effects could be? " Stefan asked me .

"I don't know . But I guess that it couldn't be that bad . It's not a simple spell , but then again , it's not so complicated , either . Like I said , it's a spell to feel better with your partner , so it can't be that bad . "

" Bonnie , please . I'm desperate . If not for me , do it for Elena . Please . "he was staring at me intently .

I slowly shook my head . " I don't know , Stefan . The side-effects can't be that bad , but as told you- I don't know what does it say on the other page , they could be worse than I think . "

"I'm sorry , but I can't do it . You understand it , right ? " I asked him , hoping that he did .

"Yes , I understand it . You can't do it . " he said , hope whipped off his face .

Then , suddenly , he looked up at me.

"But you have to do it . You must putt that spell on Elena." he said and locked his eyes with mine , his pupils widening.

The next day , 8 AM

My alarm clock woke me up , with that annoying buzzing . I tried to find it and turn it off , searching with my hand , but I couldn't find it , because my eyes were shut .

I groaned to myself and opened my eyes . I instantly looked at my window and I forgot about the alarm clock as I remembered something horrifying .

The spell . Elena . Stefan .

Oh , my god! I did it ! I putt that spell on Elena . I didn't want to , but I didn't have a choice since Stefan compelled me . I recovered from it quickly , because it couldn't last longer than a few hours , because of his animal diet . Oh , god! Anything , literary anything could go wrong , because I never found out what the side-effects were . I needed to go to Salvatores'now.

I washed up and quickly dressed and rushed outside to my car .

I started it , and then , as quick as I could , I drove to the Salvatore boarding house .

I parked the car on the side of the front yard and ran to the door . I didn't even knock and I opened the door , just to find Elena coming downstairs with nothing on her , but Stefan's shirt . I instantly looked away .

"Hey , Bonnie . " Elena said and smiled to me .

"Hi. " I said , still looking away .

"I'm sorry , I'm not really dressed . Well , I didn't have the time to do it . " Elena said as Stefan came to her and grabbed her by waist and drew her by him . Bonnie noticed that he was just in his boxers .

I was surprised when Elena didn't moved away from him-she just giggled .

"Good morning , Bonnie . " Stefan said politely , smiling at me .

" Good morning . "I replied .

" While , it is indeed a very good morning , thank you very much . " he said and kissed Elena's hand , and she giggled again . I was still at shock at the view , but the giggling was too much for me . And it was akward to find them like this .

It wasway tooobvious what were they doing a few minutes ago ... and Elena seemed to be happy . Correction- shewashappy . "Well , I should be going now . "I said and walked to the door .

"Wait! " I heard Elena's voice saying . I stopped .

" Why don't you stay for breakfast ? " she asked with a smile on her face .

" I have some work to do . Maybe next time . " I said and escorted myself outside .

"Bye ! " I could hear her shouting .

I entered my car and I just sat there for minutes .

It was strange- all those things I've seen inside . But it looked like Elena was happy . And , I was still shocked , but I was happy for her too. Maybe I was wrong , maybe there weren't any side-effects at all . They were both happy and that was great.

I finally recovered from the shock and smiled to myself . Elena is happy .That was more than great . I was glad to see a genuine smile on her face after a long time.

I started the car and I drove back to my place . I parked the car into the garage and went inside to find something to eat . I made myself a bowl of cereal and ate it slowly . Then , after I cleaned up the kitchen , I came to my room to make my bed because I left in such a rush that I didn't have time to do it .

Suddenly , I heard something fell on the ground . I looked behind me , and I noticed that my spell-book fell and opened . I came to it and picked it up . As I picked it up in my arms , a page fell out .

I picked it up and read what it said :

Amoris mendaclum - the love illusion spell

Follow the instructions on the previous page and everything will be alright .

This spell also contains the sensi resistentla voluntas magic, also known as the resistance of feelings and will . It's a powerful spell , depending on how much did you use the moonflower . But ,because of it's combination with the sensi resistentla voluntas it is even more powerful than it seems to be .

Typical behavior : This person , if in a relationship , will be happy and satisfied with her partner and wouldn't have a care in the world . But , if you cast this spell to block this person's feelings for her true love , it won't end well. First , the person will be okay , but the love for this person you cast to increase it , it will not be genuine - no more than less , it will just be an illusion of love . It will prevent the chanted person to think negative thoughts of the person in the relationship with her , and this person will not have complete control of her will . There is no counter spell for this .

But , no matter how strong her love for her soul-mate will be , it will take more than couple years for this spell to fade away , until it will no longer have any effect on the chanted person . Then , this person will know what's true in her heart and will regain control under her will .

I finally stopped reading .Oh.My.God. This was the spell I've cast on Elena . I was horrified . I wanted to scream as loud as I could . What have I done?

After what Bonnie told her , Elena wanted to scream ,too . She was really shocked by this revelation , but it made pretty good sense , when she thought it through . The reason why shedidn't went searching for Damon . The reason why she hasn't broke up with Stefan all these years .

She couldn't say a word . She was just looking at her dear friend , which cast a spell that totally changed her life. But , it wasn't her fault , after all . Stefan compelled her and she had to do it .She didn't have a choice .

" Elena , please say something . " Bonnie begged her .

" I need to talk to him . " Elena snapped and got out off the bed and headed down stairs . She just left Bonnie there , but that didn't really matter now . She needed to try . It has been more than a couple years and she had to give it a shot . After everything that happened tonight , only this action made sense to her . This was her chance . She was still furious with Stefan and she needed to talk to him .

She found Stefan sitting on the couch , almost sober , as far as she could tell by his facial expression .

"She told you . " he said , staring at the fire . "Yes , she did . " Elena said slowly .

" So , it's true , isn't it?You forced Bonnie to cast that spell on me ? "

He quickly stud up and with his vampire-speed, he came to her .

,, Elena , you don't understand . You were depressed about everything that happend and we were having some serious problems ." he said , staring at her intently . " We still have problems . Like how could you do that ? You wouldn't let me make my own decisions , not to talk about my conciance . "

" I should have made my own choice . If you loved me , you would have let me make my own decisions . "Elena said , her vision starting to blur because of tears that were threatening to fall out .

" That is the reason I did that . Because I love you . " he said , deeply staring into her chocolate eyes .

She couldn't believe him . He claimed that he loved , but he wouldn't let her be free.

He wanted to control her .

"And , what you said to all those people ... How could you that? First that , then this! You embarrassed me in front of all those people . Regardless of that , you hurt me! "she was shouting , angry tears sliding down her face .

" Well , I was right . Youdolovehim . More than me .He is your true love , whatever ."

Anger was now clear on his face .

Elena was just looking at him .

" Just tell me that I'm wrong . Tell me that you don't love him , that you love me."Stefan said , with so much bitterness in his voice .

She loved him , just in a different way .

She couldn't . Stefanwasright . Once upon a time she loved just him , and then she met his older brother , who did awful things to her , killed so many people that mattered to her , but he ended up on the good side .

Yes , he had quite a temper , but deep down he was sweet and thoughtful . That was Damon with who had she fallen for in the first place . But , Stefan's words...weren't quite true . She loved him too , just in a different way than she did his brother . But , right now , after she found out what he did to her , and after what he said to all those people ...

" He is much better person that you'll ever be . He would never do this to me . You disguist me . " she was looking at him , really like he was something disguisting .

He didn't say anyhting . He just contiunued to stare at her .

" You know what? I can't take this anymore . I'm done with you . For good . "Elena said and stormed out of the front door , without even looking twice behind her .

She never told him

Author's note: This chapter explains how Elena feels about everything. It's not a long chapter , but it has everything I wanted to have in it . Enjoy!


The Gilberts' place

It has been 3 days since Elena broke up with Stefan and things were returning to normal.

Or at least everybody else thought that except Elena .

She was still hurt because of the truth about her relationship with Stefan . She was living a lie all these years . She thought that Stefan honestly loved her , but obviously she was wrong .

If he'd truly loved her , he wouldn't do that . Have her under a spell , without her having any control of her will . That made Elena think about something, or is it better to say someone, she's been thinking a lot.

Damon . What would have been if she met Damon first? What would have been if she met him outside the boys' bathroom and not Stefan? Would have they got together ? Or would have they be just friends ? So many questions , but not a single answer .

When she showed up home , just like that out of the blue , everyone there knew that there was something wrong . She just popped up on the door , her face red and tears still sliding down her cheeks . And when Jenna opened the door , it was like she saw a ghost .

But , she pulled Elena inside, with worry on her face . Jeremy and Rick were in the living room watching the football match , so their eyes couldn't see anything except the TV .

Jenna led Elena to the kitchen and sat her on the chair . Then , she finally asked her what went wrong . Elena explained to her all the things she learned from Bonnie today , and Jenna was listening , with every minute , as Elena was telling her the whole story , her expression getting more and more terrified . Then , when Elena was finished , she embraced her in a hug . Elena was still upset , but she stopped crying . She felt like she spilled some lethal poison out of her , and she was tired and just wanted to go to sleep . She just wanted for this terrible , but freeing day to end .

She was exhausted and could barely stand on her feet . Jenna sent her to bed . It looked like the match was finally over , because they could no longer hear the boys cheering or cursing .

When Rick and Jeremy saw Elena going upstairs , they both looked like they were going to ask her what was going on ,but Jenna gave them a warning look that was saying: " Not now . "

Elena threw herself on her bed without even changing into pajamas and ,after a few minutes , fell asleep . Before she was asleep , she imagined how things would have end up if she didn't waste five years of her life . If she hadn't been stubborn and in complete denial of her feelings for him.

Even though he had left Mystic Falls , she would have gone searching for him . If there wasn't for that cursed spell . And even though she never found out the reason why he left , she wondered was it for her that he did it . Because of ....... Every time she thought of that , when she was close to finding an answer , in her mind , that thought would always slip away fast as it came to her mind.

She was imaging what would her life be like , if she went searching for Damon and actually told him what she should have had a long time ago . She was imaging that her life would have been more than perfect , because she would be with Damon .

Elena believed that Stefan was the one, but clearly , she was wrong . At the end of the day , Damon was the one who truly loved her , even though she couldn't justify his absence all these years .

She finally realised that she lost her soul-mate , so to speak . Because , when they were together , it was like they really were acting and thinking as one person . She would give the world , just to see him again . She regreted because she never got a chance to kiss his lips .

She imagined , like she often did , his blue eyes staring at her and with a big smile stuck on his face , just as the first time he met her . She imagined that they would go somewhere far away , far away from everyone they knew and just take a break from everything . She imagined that they would go somewhere exoticlike Egypt or Hawaii and that they would be alone , with no one to stand in their way . That would make her the happiest person in the world .

She fell asleep , surprisinglydreaming about nothing,maybe perhaps her mind was too exhausted to produce dreams , or perhaps her mind wanted to take a break from everything that happened today .

Or was it maybe because of the pair of icy-blue eyes watching her , just outside her window .

Just like a pill

Author's note: Fanfares! This is the chapter you have all been waiting for ! What's so special about it?Well , read up and you'll find out ;D . Enjoy !

Elena was in her room , sitting on her bed . She was alone in the house - Rick , Jenna and Jeremy had gone on fishing for the weekend . Of course , everyone was worried for her and didn't want to leave without her , but she insisted on them to go . Besides , she needed some time on her own .

She was staring through the window , how the stars were bright and the night was impossibly dark . She hadn't felt this bad for a while . It was like those first months when Damon left -she missed him a lot . He was all she could think of . It was a complete torture to her , because she loved him and knew that she will never see him again . At that thought , that incredibly painful thought , tears started sliding her olive cheeks . This was much more worse comparing to the time she was under that spell .

She opened her drawer and pulled out a photo . Not just any photo , but photo of her and Damon in a bar . She remembered the time when this picture was taken - it was an after party for Caroline's birthday . And , no , they didn't know that they were 'caught' on a photo . Well , not until Caroline showed Elena her 'masterpiece' ,as she called it . The picture was crystal clear to everyone who knew to read between lines . Elena and Damon were playing pool and , it must have been something that she did , the way they were both smiling ... was magical . There was no other word for it .

They looked happy ... And the sparkle in Damon's eyes , made chills down Elena's spine . He was breathtaking on the photo . But , the worst thing was , that they looked like a real couple . Caroline already told that to Elena , but she wouldn't listen . She was in complete denial , but secretively , she knew that she was right . Only a couple would look at each other that way .

If only she wasn't too damn stubborn and hide her feelings for him . She could have had him . She wouldn't have had to keep her feelings a secret . It's not like everyone was blind . The chemistry they had was just something undeniable . You and I ... What we have ... A special connection... she remembered her own words .

Elena walked up to the mirror just to find an upset girl looking back at her . How could she have been so stupid ?If it wasn't for her stupid stubborn mind , she would have been happy . She would have had her happy ending . She would have been with Damon . The man she truly loved .

Only if it wasn't for her ... That girl looking at her from the mirror . She ruined her one and only chance at happiness . It was all her fault . She gazed straight in the girl's eyes . She needs to pay .

Elena ran to the bathroom . She quickly opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed ibuprofen from the top shelve . She opened the small bottle and shook it empty on the counter . There was more than enough . She looked at those red pills , there was no coming back after this . Doesn't matter either way , her life was already over . She couldn't be more miserable than this . If she can't have Damon in her life , then she won't live at all . She needs to put an end to this torture . She took a glass and filled it with water . And then she put all those pills in her mouth and took a big sip of water . The pills painfully slid down her throat .

Considering she didn't eat anything since breakfast , she instantly felt sick . She throw up in the toilet . The pills must have done their work , because her vision started to blur and she felt dizzy .

" Elena! " she heard someone calling her name . She started to cry , because of that familiar voice .

The voice she hasn't heard in five years . The voice that called her in her dreams . How could she ever forget his voice ? That mixture of worry and care .... not to forget love .

She fell on the bathroom floor . The walls were shaking . " Elena ! " she heard that beautiful voice again , this time closer . Then , she saw him . " Oh my god , Elena! " she heard him murmuring .

He and his raven black hair , his figure leaning towards her . The panic was clear in his voice . She finally saw his icy-blue eyes . The eyes she missed and loved so much . This meant only one thing -she was in heaven . Then she felt his hand on her waist .

She didn't have the strength to look up at him . Suddenly , everything was black .

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Elena's P.O.V.

I was on some soft surface . I didn't know what was it , but it was comfortable . I slowly opened my eyes and sighed . I found those worried icy-blue eyes looking at me . " Damon ?"

He smiled softly . " How are you feeling ?" he said and stroked my hair . His touch felt so good .

" This place is amazing . " I said ignoring his question . He looked at me , confused . " What do you mean ? " "Heaven . Or hell . Whatever place is this . " I gestured with my hands .

" What the ....?" he started but didn't finish . Then he realized what was I saying , because he was suddenly mad . Although , I don't see any reason for him to be mad .

" You are not in heaven or in hell . You are at your home , in your bed .And you're alive . Barely . " he breathed out an angry sigh . " If only I was a few seconds late ... You would have been ... " he didn't finish the sentence , scared of his words .

" And you owe me an explanation . Why in the hell's name would you do such thing ?! " he was more than angry . I was still processing his last words . I wasn't dead ? If he was only a few seconds late ? What .... ? Then , as an light bulb turned on in my mind , I realized what was he saying . I was alive . I swallowed those pills and he must have made me throw them up .

If I'm not in heaven or I'm not dead , how come he's here ? I asked him that , his angry eyes staring at me . " I came back . " tears started to fall down my cheeks . I lifted myself and hugged him .

" I missed you so much . " I wanted to say a million things , ask a million questions , but I didn't want to ruin that moment . That moment I smelt his neck . Felt his chests going up and down .

On my surprise , he pulled me away , after several seconds . He looked at my eyes , now confused .

" What was that for ? "

" What do you mean ? "

" Why did you do that ? "

" I missed you . " What the hell was his problem ?

" Where were you all these years ? And why did you leave ? " I wanted to know . He owed me an explanation . A big one .

" It doesn't matter . You had your Stefan to comfort you . " his face changed at the mention of his brother's name . He looked away .

" Please , don't say his name . It makes me sick . " and it really did .

He turned his head to me , surprised . " What ? "

" It's hard to explain . "

" Explain it to me anyway . "

I looked at him . How am I supposed to tell him? Well , let's just say that I was under some stupid love delusion spell for five years . I thought that I loved Stefan , but I actually loved you . And yes , it was all Stefan's fault - he compelled Bonnie to cast the spell on me . Which worked ... I dunno ... for five years ?

" I can't . "

" Ugh . Then , explain it to me why did you try to kill yourself ? " he was furious .

I took a deep sigh . " Because I love you . "

A failed compulsion:part one

Author's note : A longer chapter finally ! See Damon's reaction to Elena's words . I was kinda stuck with this chapter and if it wasn't for Snowpelt , this chapter wouldn't be this good as it is . She gave me the whole idea and with that came more ideas and like that this chapter . Thank you again !!! And , not to forget , this is a longer chapter even though it seems to be short- well it isn't - it has two parts . The next part is UP or Published . Enjoy !


Damon's P.O.V.


" What ? " I was confused-what she just said ...didn't make sense at all . She couldn't have said that what I think she said . But , no , my vampire hearing wasn't fooling me . Yet , it didn't make sense at all . She made it pretty clear when she said that it's Stefan that she loves , and not me .

That it's always going to be St. Stefan . Maybe she's just in a shock after she almost ... I couldn't bring myself to even think of that word . It was bad enough what she tried to do . And , if this is her reaction to me ... then it's better for her to forget me . And what she said about Stefan ... it was strange . How could the mention of his name make her sick? After all , he was the love of her life .

I guess , that it was just another reaction from the shock - she probably didn't mean it anyway . Just like as she didn't mean those words she said to me . I missed her so much ... and I can't stand this anymore ... I can't stand to see her being with my stupid brother . It was too much .

And , just like that I knew what I had to do . " Elena ... " I started . She was staring at me , waiting for me to continue . God , I loved those chocolate brown eyes ! I missed them . I missed her scent and her beautiful smile . And they way her hair was falling in straight lines . I missed all of her . I shook my head- I can't let my emotions stop me . I can't get carried away . I need to do this , even though I don't want to . But I have to .I took a quick glance at her neck . Good . She wasn't wearing her vervain necklace.

This should be easy . It's not like I was doing this to her for the first time . " You will forget everything that happened today - you drinking those pills , and me ever coming here . You were in your room , studying the whole day . " I ended , locking her eyes with mine .

She looked confused for a second and she blinked . I was gone out of her window before she got a chance to open her eyes again .

Elena's P.O.V.

I was ... there were more emotions that were boiling underneath my perfectly calm face . I don't know why was I still pretending to be calm , when obviously I wasn't . Yeah , there were a lot emotions that I was feeling that moment , but the most powerful one was anger .

I knew that I wasn't going mad or that I was dreaming . I knew that what happened was real . I wasn't wearing my necklace , but I was sipping vervain everyday . So , I didn't forget what was I suppose to forget . I know that I tried to kill myself and I know that he was here .

He tried to compel me , but it obviously didn't work . I saw him , after five long years , FIVE YEARS , and he tries to compel me ?! I wanted to cry and punch something at the same time .

I can't believe him ! FIVE YEARS and he doesn't even want to talk to me properly . He saved me from killing myself and then he tries to compel me and then he bails on me . That speaks everything for him . He doesn't have to say anything .

If I didn't know better , I'd thought that he doesn't care . That he stopped caring for me . That he doesn't give a damn for me . But he does . He saved me ... and the way he was looking at me... That look was telling everything I needed to know . His actions were an true enigma ... to anyone who didn't know him as much as I did .

Aside that he tried to compel me , I was furious with him because he thought that I didn't know him that well . I knew him to his core . And because of that , I knew where was he right now .

I only had a few minutes , so I rushed to my car . I started the engine and drove off as quick as possible . Thank god the traffic wasn't jammed . I was there before I knew it .

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I entered the Salvatore boarding house- the door was unlocked as usually- and I saw him . At least I thought that that was him , until I heard Stefan's voice .

" You came . "

Stefan came to me in a blink of an eye and I could tell that he was drunk . He smelt like beer and like he didn't shower in days . He smiled faintly . He caressed my cheek . Ok . This was really more than enough to what could I stand . First of all- he ruined five years of my life by compelling my best friend to cast a love delusion spell on me and second of all - he was disgusting to me in every possible way . I pulled away from his touch .

" Stefan ... I didn't came because I want to get back with you . You hurt me more than anyone in this whole world and I just can't forgive you like that . " I looked away so I don't have to look at him .

I did my best not to say things I really wanted to say to him . I knew what I came for . Who I came for.

" It's fine . I get it . " he said turning away from me . He poured himself another drink - gin , I think - and drank it like shots . " You came here because of Damon . " he said . I looked at him again , surprised by his words . He smiled . This wasn't going to be good .

" I should have known that you came for him . I may be an fool , but I'm not stupid . I'm a fool , because I thought that you could love me more than him , but like I said - I'm a fool . You could never love anyone more than him . He's your world .... whatever . " he waved with his hands and almost tripped because of that . He took the whole bottle of gin - he didn't bother to take a glass- and drank almost half of it , in just one sip .

He turned to me and said : " You said that you love only me . You lied " he pointed his finger to me , accusing . I didn't know what to say . I just stud there , glaring at the man who ruined my life .

" I say that you're just a stupid bitch . A whore , better yet . " he said , approaching me with the bottle in his hands . It was really funny , ironical how he was he acting right now . I knew that he was acting like the old Damon - the Damon who used to kill people just for fun or out of boredom , the Damon who used girls for sex and blood , the Damon who did so many awful things to me .

Stefan was always the good brother . Even when Damon left his old habits , he was still inappropriate . He was swearing too much , he was drinking too much and he was always a sex symbol . He was every parent worse nightmare - he was the guy who was dangerous and forbidden and that fact made him more appealing . He was the guy who you would date but hide it from your parents . He was a bad ass . It was just simply who he was .

Stefan , on the other hand , was quite the opposite of him . He was kind and polite . And he would never do anything bad to me . At least , I use to think that before I found out what his true colors were really like . But , this was no time for comparison . Especcially because the way his eyes were shining with anger .

" You can't play with people's feelings like this anymore . " he moved his finger back and forth . " I can't let you do that . I need to stop that . " he murmured quietly , like he was speaking to himself . But , I knew that those words were meant for me .

I could see his vampire veins showing off . And his deadly fangs appeared . I knew what was he going to do and yet I just stud there , paralysed . I couldn't move- maybe I didn't want to , maybe it was just fear doing its work - I don't know why , but I just couldn't .

I heard an animal growl and it wasn't coming from Stefan . I searched with my eyes , just to find the source of the sound on the top of the stairs . Before I even looked up , I knew that it was him . I could recognize his voice everywhere - whether is it a growl or a gentle word .

He jumped and everything else happened in a blink of an eye . Damon grabbed Stefan by the neck and took him away from me , still growling . " You really think that you can do that ? Think twice . " Damon said angrily looking at his brother . Stefan didn't hesitate to grab his neck back . They were super-speed wrestling and , surprisingly , they didn't break any piece of furniture considering the speed they were moving . They were growling at each other and then they- disappeared ?

I looked around the room - there was no sign of them . Then , after a few minutes passed , Damon showed up in the room . Just like that . I could see worry on his face . He approached me .

I knew that he thought that the compulsion worked , and I had to pretend that it really did . This was no time for stuff like that , even though I had a lot of things to say to him .

" Elena ... You must have a million questions .... And he tried to attack you... " he shook his head . He closed his eyes in frustration . " You must be tired . You need to rest . "

I gazed at him , with questions in my eyes . " Look , I know that you want to ask me a lot of stuff , but it will have to wait until tomorrow . Now , please go to my room and go to sleep . " his worry face was back . I couldn't argue with him , even if I wanted to . I was exhausted and I could never beat that look he was giving me . And his look , besides worried , was gentle . He melted my heart with it .

So , I simply said : " Okay . " and I could see that that made him happy , because he smiled to me . "Off you go , now . " he said and I rushed upstairs to his room .

A failed compulsion:part two

Elena's P.O.V.

I climbed upstairs and finally found my way to Damon's bedroom . His door were like the rest of the doors in the house- dark wood with golden locks- but the only difference was that his door had his initials on them . I was many times in his room while I lived here . I loved it - it reminded me of him - but I tried to stay away as much as possible , because it was painful , knowing that he wasn't there .

I opened the door and sighed . Everything was on its place . The double bed in the middle with a canopy , his black nightstand , the big dresser ... and the shelves above his bed , which were usually empty , now were once again full of his journals . I noticed a huge travelling bag , tossed in the corner . And it was opened . I could only see his clothes in it- black and just black - and I was curious . But , this was certainly no time for snooping around . And I noticed small details in the room that were giving away the fact that he was here . Like his bed - it wasn't madly tidy anymore , I could tell that he was sitting on it . And it was like the whole room was once again alive with him back in it .

Without him in it , it was just an ordinary room . But , like this , it was really like a part of him . And I was happy , for some reason .

It was crazy and strange and amazing - all that at the same time- because his room was 'alive' again . I was tired and I wanted to go to sleep . But there was just one problem- I didn't bring any pajamas with me when I was coming to stop Damon for leaving again .

Oh , well , guess that I'll just have to put on one of his shirts . I was too tired to take a shower . I shut the door and opened the closet which was surprisingly full of clothes . Vampires , duh . I pulled away a black shirt and shut the closet . I took off my clothes and put on the shirt .

I was a bit uncomfortable considering the whole situation-Damon could hear my every move , Stefan was in the cellar probably passed out from vervain and I was going to sleep in Damon's bed in Damon's shirt . It was weird because Damon and I never actually ...Damn ! I need to control my thoughts . But , how could I , when I was in his shirt , which smelled like him .

I pulled the quilt and liedon the bed . It was extreme comfortable . The mattress was soft and solid at the same time . It was like I was floating on clouds . And it had Damon's scent . I knew that this was crazy - even though I knew that he was just downstairs , I was still afraid that he'll change his mind and leave again . And , this was crazier - I missed him , even though I was talking to him just a few minutes ago . I didn't want him to leave again and not come back for the next five years or more.

At that awful thought , I started to cry . After just a minute , I heard a soft knock on the door . " Elena , are you okay ? " I heard Damon's voice coming from the other side . I didn't reply . I was just crying and I tried to convince myself that he was here , outside the door , and that he wasn't going to leave . But , it was hard , because he could leave any moment just like he did five years ago . At that thought , my sobs got louder , and I couldn't control them .

He opened the door . Luckily , he didn't turn on the lights , because I couldn't stand it right now , and because my eyes were probably red and swollen and that didn't look good . I laughed in myself - how could I care how do I look at this time ?

" Elena , what's wrong ?" he asked . I didn't know what to say , no I knew what would be the answer to his question , but I didn't feel like answering , because it would only be worse . He was standing in the doorway , not knowing what to do . After a minute of thinking , he decided . He slowly shut the door , I'm guessing because he didn't want to upset me anymore , and with his vampire speed lied on the bed next to me . " Hey , talk to me . Tell me what's wrong . What can I do to help ? " he asked, looking helpless and desperate .

I still didn't want to answer . And like he was reading my thoughts , he said : " You'll have to answer me sooner or later . I won't go away until you do . " . I could see that he was serious . But , if it was even possible , his last sentence made me cry even more .

" What did I say ? " he asked , his blue eyes filled with worry .

" I don't want you to leave . " I whispered .

I could see that he was surprised by my answer .

" You left for five years and never came back . You never gave me any sign that you were alive . " I was horrified , remembering that time he was away .

His blue eyes darkened at my words . He suddenly pulled me to him , letting me sob into his shirt .

" Shh ... I'm not going anywhere . I will be here . Right here , with you . " he was whispering , his chin on my head . He was stroking my back . I wrapped my hands around him , trying to believe in his words . Trying to convince myself that this was no dream and that he was really here .

And like that , he lulled me to sleep .

Damon's P.O.V.

This wasn't good . Not good at all . How Elena was feeling ... And yet , this once again didn't make any sense . Her missing me that much . I knew that she l lovedme ... just in a different way as I loved her . She loved me enough to save me from that Lexy's boyfriend ... And I knew that we had an undeniable connection . I felt sometimes like I could see into her soul , and now it's like that all the time . I know what she thinks , I know her worries , I know her thoughts , her wishes ... I know the whole her . And I love her , the way she'll never love me .

She never denied that connection we had . She told me herself that she knows what we had , but it was like she could only see a small detail and not the whole picture . That part she was always denying . That part she knew that was always there . That part that was saying everything , that part that everyone was seeing except her .

God , I love to hold her in my hands . She fell asleep after she cried her soul out . I felt so desperate because I didn't know what to do to make her stop crying . It was painful to see her like that . She deserves to be happy . I enjoyed the way she was hugging me in her sleep . I liked her touch - it was better than the best bag of blood and softer than the bird's song . I already knew that it wouldn't last long , it was just a matter of time until she makes up with Stefan .

St. Stefan . My baby bro . It was funny how he always get everything better than me . When we were kids , my parents were all about me . I didn't get that , but I liked it . Then , Stefan came to the world and they forgot about me just like that . He got all their attention . Not that I was jealous or anything , but I wished that they were paying more attention to me . I wasn't selfish , but I still needed more their attention . And if they were paying attention , it was rarely something good they had to say . It was always some lecture or something like that .

And then , Katherine . A waste of 145 years of my life . I'm still trying to digest the fact that I accepted the circus she had made of us . She always told us that we were a family . Just us three . I didn't know what was I thinking to get involved in that whole thing . I thought that she loved me , but no , she loved only Stefan . Never me . I was just her boy-toy . She was playing with both of us , but in the end she really loved Stefan . And I was just a fool in love , to believe that she could love me back .

And now , Elena . She didn't play me , but she wasn't quite an innocent lamb either . She was attractive to me because she looked like Katherine . At first . But , then I got to know her better and I could see that she was nothing like Katherine , that she was just herdescendant. And , I wasn't quite right about that . Maybe she didn't want to , but she was still playing with my feelings . It hurted me to see her with Stefan . Because I wished , this time this was truly what I wanted , to be in his place instead of him . He always got the glory ... I never did . Well , how could I ?

I was his evil big brother who killed people . And before that , I was just mean . I loved Stefan , of course I did , even though I sometimes pretended to hate him . I could never hate him , he was my brother . Yeah , he could be a pain-in-the-ass sometimes , and it was fun to tease him about his animal diet and stuff like that , but he was still my blood , my brother , even though he knew to bore me to death .

I loved all those people , yes even Katherine even though I hate her now , and they never loved me enough . History was repeating itself - Stefan got the girl we both loved , and I was just standing in his way . Was it too much to ask for someone to love me back the way I loved him ? And , not just someone , but Elena . And I knew that I asked too much when I asked her to love me back .

It was only Stefan . Stefan and nobody else . I couldn't bare to see her with him anymore . That's the one and only reason I left . I know that it was a selfish thing to do , but what good would I do just being here in Mystic Falls? Nobody cared about me here , the way I wanted to . Nobody ever showed me that I was wanted , loved . I couldn't stand to be the unwanted outcast .

I didn't want to think about this anymore . It made ma want to leave again . And I can't do that , because I promised her that I won't . I didn't understand her desperate need for me to be here , but still , I would do anything to make her happy . Even if it meant for me to watch her make up with my brother , sooner or later . I knew that it was going to be painful to watch that , but I had to .

What I felt and I wanted wasn't important , just her . I don't care what does it do to me , but I love her and I want to see her happy . After all that she had been through , she deserves some peace and happiness in her life . I never knew what happiness truly was . At least , I was never really happy because of some reason that was meant for me . Something good that happened to me .

That selfish happiness . No , I was wrong . I actually did experience her . When I first saw Elena . Her chocolate brown eyes , her beautiful smile ... and just her personality . She cared about everyone else more than she did for her . She was selfless . That was the real reason I was first attracted to her . She was so pure . When I first noticed that Stefan had a crush on her , I wanted to tease him , or even get revenge because of the whole thing with Katherine . I was an idiot to think that Elena was that kind of girl , that girl who would cheat on her boyfriend .

That revelation was shocking to me , A) because she was rejecting me , and that was the first time I got rejected and B) she was probably the first girl I've met that was that good , that pure . And that's was why I fell in love with her in the first place .

That girl I loved so much , who was driving me mad , that girl which was asleep in my arms . I stroked her soft hair . I knew that it wouldn't be like this for long , so I just relaxed , feeling her fragile touch ; and I fell asleep , feeling whole again .

Elena's P.O.V.

I woke up , and I couldn't see Damon in the bed anymore . I started to panic slightly , but then I found a note on the other pillow , and it said :

Don't worry , I'm not gone anywhere . I'm just in the kitchen making you breakfast . Come downstairs .

D.

I suddenly relaxed , once I read it . He is here . He isn't going anywhere . Thank god ! I laughed to myself for being stupid enough to think that he'll leave like that . Yet , I had my reasons . I got up , and went to the bathroom . I took a quick shower . I got dressed and went downstairs .

A smell that was coming from the kitchen made me drool . I walked into the kitchen , just to see probably the hottest thing I've ever seen- Damon with an apron, flipping french toast .

" You know that it isn't polite to stare . " he said , with a devilish grin on his face . I didn't realise that; I blushed , feeling embarrassed. He smiled at that . " It smells really good . " I said , changing the subject . " Yes , it does . Now , sit , it's almost finished . "

I sat down and tried not to stare again . I loved to see Damon in his flirty mood . What ?! I did not just think that . I really needed to control my thoughts . But , it was hard , because it was Damon . Last night was like that - I couldn't control my thoughts with him being that close to me. I was fully aware of how close he was and it do any good for my thoughts .

I was really upset because I thought that he was going to leave again , but then I could feel how close he was . His cold skin and his minty breath . His icy-blue eyes that were irresistible . Like it wasn't enough that he had a hot body . But , when I saw his lips.... That would have probably been the end of my self-control if he hadn't put his chin on my head . But , if I he hadn't... I knew what would have happened .

" Your toast is ready . " Damon's voice brought me back to reality . He put the plate in front of me . Mmmm , it looked delicious . I took a bite and it was really good . So good , that I ate both slices in just 3 minutes . Damon grinned at me . I probably looked like I wasn't eating in days . Well , I certainly was eating like that . Haha .

" Do you want more or do you want dessert ? " he showed me a cocktail glass filled with chocolate pudding with three raspberries on top .

" Dessert , please . " I said . He smiled at my words .

" But , I gotta warn you - it's super-delicious . " he said with a sneaky smile .

Once as he put it in front of me and gave me a spoon , I dug into it . And he was right - it was super delicious . Every taste was like I died and went to heaven . He was really some good cook .

After I was done , he washed up . " I need to talk to you . " I said .

" So , talk to me . " he said simply .

" We should go to the living room . " I replied .

" Okay . "

We went to the living room and I sat on the couch . Before , he joined me , Damon fixed himself a drink . He asked me do I want one too , I said no- I wasn't a morning drinking person .

" Tell me . " he said , toking a small sip .

I took a deep breath . I knew what was I suppose to say , but the question was how? I looked him deeply in the eyes .

" I remember . I remember it everything . " I started .

He looked nervous for a second . And he almost spilled his drink .

" What do you remember ? " his voice was a bit shaky .

" How I tried to kill myself . Why I tried to kill myself . I remember that whole day . And I remember you . You saved me . "

He was glaring at me with shock .

" How .. ? You were suppose to forget all that ... I compelled you . "

" Obviously you didn't - I was sipping vervain everyday in case I forget to put on my necklace . " I said , waiting for his reaction .

I could see that he was angry and in shock at the same time .

" You were suppose to forget all that . " Damon repeated and drank the whole glass .

" No . I wasn't suppose to forget all that . However , I am glad that I didn't . Because I now know what I need to do . Something I should have done a long time ago . "

" Yeah , and what would that be ? " he asked in with a bitter tone , turning his face to me .

" This . " I moved closer and landed my lips with his . They were soft and tasty , just like I imagined them . I could sense his surprise - it took him just a few seconds to kiss me back . I plunged my hands in his hair . He was holding my back with his . He moved his lips slowly and gently . I parted his lips a bit , letting the delicious breath come into my mouth .

" Well , isn't this just sweet ? " I suddenly heard a sarcastic voice saying . I broke the kiss and looked up . And I saw him , standing in the doorway that was leading to the cellar .

Stefan .

Author's note: O-o , Stefan's here . What's going to happen next ??? Next chapter . So , what do you think ? Was it good or bad ? Tell me . I know exactly what to do with the next chapter , so it's going to be up soon . Kiss

Some flashbacks and some bad headaches

Author's note: I wanted to upload this chapter sooner , but my block was stopping me . This is the first time I wrote this story in Stefan's P.O.V. , so I don't know if I got it right . Be good and please tell me what you think . Anyway , this pick ups where the last chapter ended . Enjoy!

Stefan's P.O.V.

I couldn't believe what have I just witnessed . Damon and Elena kissing . Damon didn't kiss Elena . She kissed him . Elena kissed Damon . And the way she was kissing him ... And just the fact that she kissed him , made me realise that my nightmares had come true - Elena have moved on . I officially lost her . I knew that I lost Elena the day we found Damon's letter . And since then I kept losing her every day more and more . Even when Bonnie cast that spell on her , I could see that she was still miserable . Of course she was-she was with a man who she didn't love .

That wasn't completely true . She loved me , it's just that she wasn't in love with me . I wasn't the one which her heart desired . I just couldn't face that . That it wasn't like when we were dating in high school . I wish it was like that . Yes and no . She would be in love with me , but then Damon would suffer again . Damon . He must be gloating now . He stole away Elena from me . Mission accomplished , brother . Now , I could finally realise how'd he felt when he was watching me with Elena . He had to suffer this every single day for a year . If this was like someone stacked me , I couldn't imagine what he'd been through . And , right now , I felt like my heart was shattered in pieces . I could bare to look at Elena when she was with Damon . When she was looking at him like that . Like she was stroking him with her eyes .

Usually , when we were together , she would control her feelings towards him . She was pushing them aside , only because she felt guilty because of me . But , she could control her looks and glances , or at least what they were showing off . She could never really hide her feelings for him . Like that day when she was kidnapped by Rose . When she was standing at that staircase , I knew that she wanted to hug Damon , not me . And I stolethat hug from him . I was that jealous .

I wanted Elena just for me . I was selfish . I loved her , but I never considered her happiness . What she really wanted ... Who she wanted ... Not me , but Damon . I had to brace it that I lost her . For good this time . No spell and no compulsion would fix that . And when she was under that spell , I knew that she was unhappy . But when I let myself realise that , the deal was sealed - she was under that spell and it will take years to fade away . Because there was no countercurse . I did that to her . I messed up her life . I messed up her conscience . But nothing could make her fall in love with me again . That spell was just an illusion of love , nothing more and nothing less . And , not even that spell could make her hide , in the back of her conscience , her feelings for Damon . Her love for him . Nothing could do that . Their love was too powerful .

I could never imagine how'd she felt these five years - she thought that she was in love with me , when she was actually with Damon . She must have been suffering ; all that conciance messing . I hurt her and I didn't even know how much . I remember that night when I came home from Bonnie's. After I made her cast that spell on Elena .

" Elena ?" I called her after I came in .

"Yes ? " she appeared in front of me . She looked like she had been crying . Maybe Bonnie was right . Maybe there were side effects after all . I walked up to her . I took a deep look to her face .

" What's wrong ? " I asked her .

" Nothing , it's just I have this huge headache . Almost like a migraine . I don't know why . It started just a few minutes ago and it won't stop . I took three aspirins , but there was no use of that ." she said , closing her eyes and massaging her head .

I sighed . It must have been because of the spell , I just knew it . I felt bad because of that . Once the spell was cast , there was no coming back . I felt guilt . And it was written all over my face .

" What's up with you ? You look like you ran over someone's cat . " Elena said , trying to cheer me up . Not that running cats over would cheer me up .

" Nothing . I just feel bad . I don't know why . " I lied . I knew why did I felt bad .

" Oh , poor thing . Don't be . I love you . Just you . " she suddenly said . I was surprised by her words.

" Why did you just say that ? " I wanted to know . This was weird .

" I don't know . " it was like she was confused by her own words . " It just came to my mouth . "

" But , it's true . I love you . " she said caressing my cheek . I wanted to scream because of so much guilt that was a response to her words . But , when her hands touched my cheek and that look in her eyes ... The way she didn't look at me in months . The look I thought it was forever gone for me .It somehow made me feel less guilty . It made me feel like I was wanted .

" This headache won't stop any time soon. Let's just go upstairs . " Elena said and smiled .

" Sure . "I said smiling back at her .

We went upstairs to my room . We laid on the bed . She was holding on to me and I liked that feeling . When we were usually in bed , she would just turn to the other side . And now , she was cuddling in me . Just like that .

" Kiss me . " she suddenly said . I looked down at her . She really expected me to kiss her . And , I don't even remember the last time we kissed . On the lips . She would kiss me on the cheek sometimes , and sometimes when I wanted to kiss her on the lips , she would just turn her head , and my lips would just end up on her cheek . I hated when she did that .

" On the lips?" I asked , feeling like a complete idiot .

" Yes . " she said and turned her head to me . She was still having that look . Like she really wanted me . Like she was truly in love with me . So , I leaned towards her and kissed her . Her lips tasted more sweet than ever and she was moving them like before everything happened . Before she fell in love with Damon . It was like our first kiss when we were watching the comet .

She tried to take off my shirt . I didn't resist . And , that was the first night we slept together after a long time .

But , I knew that it was all a lie . The feeling , her sudden desire for me .It was all because of that spell . And now , I have to face that fact and accept it , that she's not in love with me anymore . That she was in love with Damon now . That she was these five years in love with him . That thought ripped my heart into pieces , but I couldn't lie to myself anymore . I had to accept what it is .

So , I did something I wasn't use to do , something that only Damon would do in a situation like this. I didn't want them to see that I'm hurt , so I just pulled out the best grin I could do . A sarcastic grin .

" So , you two finally sealed the deal , huh?" I said . I didn't want to hurt either of them , so I was carefully picking up my words . Even though it didn't seem logical , I still loved them both . It may break my heart , but they are more important than me , in the end .

" Stefan.... " Elena started . I could see pity in her eyes . She knew that that kiss hurt me .

" It's okay , you don't have to explain anything .I understand . " I said , trying to stay calm .

" But ... "

" It's fine . I'm fine . Now , if you'll excuse me , I have to go . " I said and with my vampire speed ran out of the front door . I needed to be far away as possible .


Elena's P.O.V.


I took a confused glance at Damon . He didn't look that confused as I did . Quite the opposite , he looked like he knew exactly what was going on .

" He's hurt . I could sense that . " he said .

" Yes . He is . " I replied .

Damon prepared to stand up . " I'll go get him .

" Please stay . " I said .

" What ? Isn't that what you want ? To explain everything to him ; that everything was a big mistake?"

" No ! That's not true ! It wasn't a mistake . I meant to do that . " I said , surprised by his doubtful words . But , I couldn't blame him . It would probably be something I would do . In the past . Now , I've learned my lesson-no more hiding my feelings for Damon . I didn't want to make the same mistake twice . I didn't want it to be like the last five years . I didn't want him to go away again .

" Stay . " I said again . " Please . " I added . For a second he looked like he was trying to decide what to do . And , then , he made up his mind and turned to me . I could quite tell what was his facial expression . It was like he was scaling in his mind what he wanted to say .

" And why should I stay ? " came an unexpected question from his mouth .

" Because I want you to stay . I don't want you to do anywhere . I want you to be here with me . " I said and cupped his face . He was trying to believe in my words , I could see that .

" I will stay then . Under one condition . " he said .

" What ? " I asked .

" Let me kiss you . " he replied , staring deep into my eyes .

I smiled . " Yes . Kiss me . " I said . I forgot about Stefan , just at the thought at Damon's lips on mine . He smiled back at me and cupped my face . He leaned towards me and our lips once again merged . His movements were faster this time , full of passion . It was like he was telling me with his mouth what he couldn't pour into words. I buried my hands in his hair . His lips were soft and full of feeling . And , it felt so right . It was like I finally found my place with him . This kiss was special and full of feeling and was telling me everything I needed to know- that he wanted me and he loved me . And there were other feelings aside those - claim , anger , sadness , happiness , tenderness . All that in just one kiss . The sweet feeling of his lips was overwhelming .

I stopped to catch some air . My arms never left his body - they just simply slid down on his shoulders . He put his hands on mine and simply was stroking them . His blue eyes were full of tenderness . He couldn't help but smile at me , not one of his grins or smirks ( even though they were attractive , I liked more when he was just smiling ) , out of genuine happiness .

I just wanted to stare in his eyes ; no hours were enough to justify my desire to look at those beautiful icy-blue eyes I missed , I loved . I could sit there for hours and explore their depths which were hypnotising .

That reminded me of something I wanted to say to him . Something I should have said a long time ago . Those words that were on the tip of my mouth , just waiting to be said . It was that simple , those words could change everything - in a good way . I already knew what he felt for me , even though he never said that out loud . Hm . Something felt wrong at that thought . But , I didn't mind , I just wanted to get over this and say those three little words .

I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes . I felt butterflies in my stomach , just at the thought for what I'm about to say . I was nervous , and I bet that he could hear my heart pounding even more .

" Damon , I need to tell you something . Something I've been holding in for a long time . How I feel about you . " I said , slowly , stroking every word as I said it . I could see his face brighten up .

" And how do you feel about me ? " he asked , like he didn't know . I smiled and his smile got even bigger .

" I lo... " I started , but then I felt sharp pain in my head . " Ouch ! " I said , it was like my head was on fire and it was worse than any headache I've ever had . I removed my hands from his shoulders and held my head which was going to explode . At least it felt like that .

" Elena , are you okay ? What's wrong ? " Damon asked with a worried voice .

" My head hurts . It was all of a sudden . " I could barely form a word .

" Do you want to lay down for a bit ? " he asked . I nodded , not able to speak because of the sharp pain going through my head . He carefully took me in his arms and with his vampire speed brought me to his room and laid me on his bed .

" Do you want me to bring you something ? An aspirin, anything ? " he asked , his eyes darkened because of the worry he felt for me .

" No , just hold me . " I said , every word ringing in my ears . I didn't need to say it twice ; he laid next to me and embraced me in a hug , pulling me on his chests.

" Ow! " he let out a small groan and he took one hand to hold his head .

" It's like this headache of yours is contagious . It hurts so much . It's like someone's lighting fireworks in my head . "

" Mhm . " was the only thing that I could say . And of all the sudden , I felt sleepy . Just like that . It was disturbing for some reason , but I couldn't fight it . And my headache was getting worse - it was like someone was slamming my head with a hammer . And my eye lids became heavy . So , I closed them , and on my big surprise , the headache cooled down a bit . Not enough , but enough for me to relax and talk again . But , I wanted to sleep .

" Damon , close your eyes . It will cool down your headache . " I said , not wanting him to feel pain anymore . It hurt me to see him like that .

" Mhm . " was all he said . I looked up to him , just to see that his eyes were already closed and he was half asleep . But , that was a mistake , because once I opened my eyes , the sharp pain came back . I closed them and soon drifted into sleep , feeling restless .

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The shining light woke me up . And I opened my eyes . Wow ! Some black-haired guy was lying next to me and his hands were hanging loose around my waist . I jumped from the bed , which immediately woke him up . He moaned , stretching his arms . I could just look at him . When , he noticed that I was standing there , and staring , he said :

" And how did you end up here , gorgeous ? " he asked , smirking at me . I blushed a bit , ashamed by his words . What the hell ?

" That's what would I love to know ? And who are you ? " I asked , my eyes roaming through his handsome body . He noticed that and grinned at me .

" While , I'm Damon Salvatore . 24/7 around for you . " he said pointing his finger at me . What was this stranger thinking ? How could he be hitting on me ? Salvatore . That surname felt familiar . I suddenly knew from where .

" I know a Salvatore - Stefan Salvatore . My ex-boyfriend . " I said . He rolled his eyes at my words .

" That would be my broody brother . I've never heard of you , though . When Steffy's in love , he couldn't hide that . He would be all 'dancing and singing with the squirrels' . " he joked . And , I knew exactly why . Stefan was a vampire and he was feeding with animal blood , not like 'normal' vampires . I broke up with Stefan , ( don't know why , that part was in a blur ) , but I still felt friendly feelings towards him . And this guy claimed to be his brother ! Stefan never mentioned that he had a brother . And if what this Damon guy was saying was true , how come was he rude when he was speaking of his brother ?

" Ok , enough with that . How did I end up here ? " I asked this Damon , seriously .

Because I didn't have a clue .

All over again

ical>Author's note : Hey , so sorry I didn't upload this sooner . I realise I didn't upload in more than two weeks , and again my apologies for that . Don't want you to think that I'm mean or something ! I wanted to write so badly , but I didn't have the time . So , here's the 7th chapter.I didn't know how to start it, but it turned out to be like this .It explains what made Damon and Elena forget each other .In Steffy's P.O.V. again . I know . Weird , right? Anyway , here it is .

Enjoy!

Stefan's P.O.V.

I ran out of the house as fast I could . I was very fast and I was watching out in case Damon was following me . Thank god , he wasn't because I couldn't deal with him right now . And why would he follow me ? He was in there , probably cuddling with Elena . I shook my head , tears falling out of my eyes . I'm not going to think about that now . It's too painful . I need to clear my head and calm down.

I know that this isn't another nightmare where Damon and Elena kiss in front of me ,knowing that I am there , watching . And , they both just grin at my facial expression . They don't care about me . They just want to see me hurting . But , that's just a nightmare . And , it came true . Not completely , but I'm pretty sure that they are together now . My undead heart was hurting me . If I was alive it would have pounded so hard and it would be worse than it is now . Damon must be happy now . He won Elena over . He didn't care about me . Just for her . Everything for her .

But , deep down , I knew that that wasn't true . Damon was my big brother , and maybe he acted like a complete jerk sometimes , he still loved me . I knew that . And , I also knew that Elena cared for me . Not in the same way she did for Damon , but she did . I knew that I have lost her a long time ago . And this was the time to face that fact . Elena's not with me anymore , she's with Damon .

I wanted to scream , cry and let it all out . I wanted to be alone . I felt all these emotions at the same time . It felt so ... human . I have never been this upset for my whole 163 years . The feeling ..... the pain , the bitterness ... it was awful . Almost unbearable . If it would end the pain , I would stake myself . Even though I didn't see any light at the end of the tunnel . There was no light in sight .But , I knew that I still wanted to live ... some life , no matter if it was dark and undead . It was life .

But , there was no life without Elena . No light without her . Nothing without her , her love . I lost that a long time ago . Love . Elena . I knew that there was no coming back after this . No more sweetness , no more happy , lovable moments full of light . No more Stefan and Elena . I stabbed myself with my own thoughts , with my own pain . I stopped running .

I gasped . Trees , graves , witches' graves ... The Bennett witches' graveyard . How did I get here ? I didn't even know where was I going . It was getting dark . I heard a whisper . It was not a real sound, I could tell it . Just in my head . I looked around . There was no one here . For a second I forgot about what happened today , about Elena and Damon . I just felt ... frightened . Not frightened as I was afraid for my life , just the creepy feeling of something around me I didn't see .

As that someone read my mind , I heard footsteps . I looked around again . I was all alone in the graveyard . It was disturbing and upsetting not knowing who was there .Then I heard someone sigh. I turned around and I saw her. Emily Bennett . Last time I saw her was somewhere in 1864 . She was glancing at me with those eyes full of centuries and generations of passed on wisdom .

" Stefan Salvatore . I haven't seen you in at least a hundred years . What did life do you now , to bring you here ? " she asked me . I was paralysed for a second from all that power radiating from her . And I was 20 feet away from her . Even with that quiet , yet not weak whisper , I could hear every word she was saying . " I just happened to be here . I don't know how , though ... " I said .

" Hm. " the witch said , like she knew a lot of things but wouldn't say them that easily . She closed her eyes and knitted her eyebrows . Her expression wasn't angry , but distant . It was like she was picking up ... vibes ?

" I sense a lot of negative energy . Sadness , bitterness , loss , anger. " I was right . Shewas picking up my vibes . She pronounced every emotion with a pause in between . " I know everything what happened today . " she said . " What changed your life . " she informed me .

But , I had a feeling that she wanted to say more . I looked at her with questions in my eyes . She understood it . " The nature's course has been disrupted . You did that by forcing my great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandchild to put a powerful spell on Elena Gilbert . That wasn't the right thing to do , either was it natural . " she said , whispering with so much surprising power in her voice . The minute she said Elena's name , I instantly knew what was coming . What I did was wrong , more than that ; I ruined her life . And I deserved the worst punishment there was .

The witch glared at me like she knew what was I thinking . " No , you don't need to be punished . You are a vampire , but a good part of you is still human . You did that out of love , because you love her . You made a mistake . It's natural to make mistakes . It's human . You are more human than you think . " she continued . I didn't know what to say , so I just stood there .

" You shouldn't have changed the course of nature , but you did . It may be wrong , but it's who you are , maybe not completely , but mentally you are more human than a lot of them of your raise . You control yourself , you drink animal blood instead of human . You don't need to do that anymore . You need to accept what you are . You need to acceptyourself . " a fade smile appeared on her ghostly face . I knew that what she was talking was true ... but I couldn't do that . I couldn't accept myself for who I am . If I'd do that , then I would admit to myself that I'm a monster , something that I truly was , deep inside . That side that I did my best to keep it buried deep down . That side of me that wanted, craved tokill.

"No , you are not a monster . You may be a creature of the night , but you're no monster . You just need to learn how to control yourself . " she said . I didn't quite believe in her words , but I didn't want to argue with her . I didn't want to argue with anyone . I didn't want to do anything . I just wanted to lie somewhere and magically die . Just not to feel all this pain. Not to feel love for Elena. Not to feel anything . To shut down all emotions. To turn off the switch .

" No , you can't do that . I , Emily Bennett , won't let such thing to happen . " she started walking up to me . " I can help you . I can fix your mistake . I can turn back the nature's course again . " she said , trying to convince me with her eyes .

" And how will you do that ? " I highly doubted that she could help me in any way . And my tone was quite disrespectful for a nice talk with a powerful witch .

" It's okay . I understand . And trust me , I can help you . " she said . " I'll do a spell on Elena and then , if you're her true love , she will come back to you . If not , she will into the arms of the one you dread . " she continued like she knew my every thought . I really didn't know what to say .

" Go back to your home , Stefan Salvatore and you'll see ... " she said and started to fade away . What the hell did just happen ? She said that she was gonna help me ... but how? Was she going to do something awful to Elena ? I needed to go back to the house . I ran as fast as I could .

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Back at the boarding house

Damon's P.O.V.

I was sleeping , when something jumped from my side . What the hell ? I moaned and stretched my arms when I noticed this hot chick staring at me . She had olive skin and mmm a helluva body ! And chocolate brown eyes . Those eyes ... Were just fascinating and beautiful .

" And how did you end up here , gorgeous ? " I asked , raising a brow . Not that I was complaining; I always loved to wake up next to sexy girls .

" That's what would I love to know ? And who are you ? " her eyes were roaming through my body . She was totally checking me out . I grinned at her .

" While , I'm Damon Salvatore . 24/7 around for you . " I said , pointing a finger at her .

" I know a Salvatore - Stefan Salvatore . My ex-boyfriend . " she replied . I rolled my eyes . I should have known . Stefan's little girlfriend .Well , ex girlfriend . That was weird . Stefan had a girlfriend . He didn't have one since ... 1864 . if I counted Katherine . And , this girl was hot . I mean really hot!

How on Earth would she be his girlfriend ? Maybe he'd compel her to be with him . Yep , that should be it . I rolled my eyes at her.

" That would be my broody brother . I've never heard of you , though . When Steffy's in love , he couldn't hide that . He would be all 'dancing and singing with the squirrels' . "

" Ok , enough with that . How did I end up here ? " she asked me . That was a very good question . Really , if she was Steffy's ex , how come she was in my bed ? Hm. I know!

" Oh , I think that I know the answer to that question . I'm guessing that you wanted some revenge , so you hooked up with me . And then I rocked your world . Forhours . " I pronounced the last word dramatically and I widened my eyes .

" Wow , you are such an ass ." she said , rolling her eyes . I grinned . I stud up from the bed and walked up to her . Mmmm , her eyes and her whole figure were such a turn on .

I leaned to her . " I know what you need . You need a bit ofDamon. " I winked . She looked like she was going to throw something at me , but then I heard that voice . And I don't mean god . Just St. Steffy .

" What are you two doing ? " came his saintable voice . I bet that he beat the Pope on the level of saintliness .

" Nothing much . I was just trying to remember what a fun night I've had with your ex . " I said hissing the 'x' . " But , it's weird though . I've would have probably remember it , but I don't . As the matter of fact , I don't remember last night at all . " I tried to think . I focused on last night . Last night was Saturday ... What happened last night ? I tried to dig deeper into my memories . Ouch ! My head started to hurt . Almost like when I had a hangover , those kind of headaches . Strong , even for a vampire . Headache . That word sounded familiar . And the feeling too . It's not like I've rarely had headaches , it's just that this feeling ... something was not right . And I couldn't figure out what . It was driving me crazy .

" Nah , I can't remember athing from last night . " I said touching my head . Elena was standing there , not saying a word , just looking at me . Better yet staring . Oh , the effect I had on this chick ...

Not that I didn't know how girls reacted when they saw me . But this was different . I think . There was something about this girl ... that was special . I have no idea where did that came from . It just popped into my mind .

" Steffy , how come you've never mentioned this sweet ex girl of yours ? " I said , not turning my head from her . Her eyes were hypnotising .

" What ? " Stefan asked me . I unwillingly turned my head to him . " What what ? "

" What do you mean I've never mentioned her ? " it looked like little bro was confused .

" Well , you never did .Nor did you introduce me to this gorgeous lady . " I said , with a mischievous grin on my face . I touched her shoulder . She shrugged at Stefan .

" And you never said that you had a brother . Considering that we were in a relationship for more than five years , that counts as a lie . " I could see that she was angry at him . Well , how wouldn't she ? She's seen what she's been missing out .

" You must be joking , right ? " Stefan asked , frowning those big brows at us . He crossed his arms and stud there looking like a disturbed saint .

" Now , why would I be joking ? If I knew her , she would already be mine . And she would see the real meaning of the name Damon Salvatore . " I replied . Was my bro going nuts ? Maybe he had too much bunnies .

I was standing next to Elena , glancing at Stefan . She was also doing that , her beautful face covered in a confused mask . Stefan was glaring at the two of us , like he was trying to figure out what game were we playing . Except there was no game . I could practically hear him thinking . Tik-tok-tik-tok goes Steffy's head .

And then , it was like he remembered something and he was inlightened .

" You two really don't remember each other . " he said . That didn't sound like a question . It sounded more like he was informing us on that .

" I wouldn't sayremember, because I've never seen her before . And highely doubt that she's seen me . 'Cuz , if she did ... we wouldn't be standing here in this room with you . Okay , maybe we would be standing , I don't know what does she like better . " I winked at her .

She punched my arm . " Ass . " she murmuSed . I grinned and looked up at Stefan . Hm , he had an interesting facial expression . Guilt . All over his face . What could have he done now ? Killed too much bunnies ?

" You two , better go to the living room . I need to explain some stuff to you . " Stefan said and pointed to the door . Several expressions were dancing on his face - guilt , confusion and anger. And something else ... Like he was fighting with himself should he say something to us or not.

Normally , I would argue with him because he was giving orders to his big brother , but I didn't feel like it .So , I followed Elena downstairs , leaving Steffy behind .

" Are you coming to give us a lecture or what ? " I asked him . I stopped at the 6th step .

" I'll be right there in a few minutes . " his tone was distant . I rolled my eyes . It seemed like we were gonna wait for more than a few minutes . I gasped and went to the living room .

Stefan's P.O.V.

So this was what Emily meant ? The whole course of nature thing ? She made Damon and Elena forget each other and that's her way helping me ? Wow . I didn't expect something like that . This was a bit extreme , even for a powerful witch like her . And this new ... situation was givning me an opportunity to maybe change things with me and Elena . But , if her memory of Damon was erased , were her emotions for him too ? No , I can't do that to Elena . I can't take this situation in my advantage . I'm not Damon . I'm the good brother . I would never do that to Elena , would I ?

Weird and awful thoughts were running through my head . I needed to clear my mind . And what do I say to them ? How on Earth do I explain this situation to them ? Should I tell them the truth or should I lie to them ? I knew what to do . The truth was not an option .

I couldn't tell them that I messed around with a witch . Well , I didn't quite messed around with her ... I just came to that graveyard . And then she said that she'll help me . And she did . Did she ? Oh , man . This is gonna be a problem . Well , it already is . I don't know was it the smartest idea to leave Elena alone with Damon . This is complicated , more than that .

I really can't stand this . I can't keep my mind cool . I need to get out of here , and fast . I could hear Damon and Elena arguing downstairs . Good luck with him , Elena . I thought . Damon was gone for five years ... Now it's time for me to leave ... It's only a matter of time , until these two figure out that they like each other . I gathered a few things in a bag and went out of the window .

Since I'm the unwanted sheep , I'm out of here . Good luck to you two , I mentally wished them and dissappeared in the woods .

Author's note: Steffy's running away ?! WTH , Steffy ?And , yeah , I'm not sure when will I upload the next chapter . I don't have much time to write this week , but I'm sure I'll find some next week. And , the next chapter will be up possibly in a week or ten days . So sorry for that .Anyway, tell me what do you think . XOXO

Searching for Stefan

Elena's P.O.V.

I sat down on the couch , trying to control my rage . I was mad at both Salvatore's - at Stefan for not telling me that he had a brother , at Damon for being such an ass . I mean really ? We were in a relationship for more than five freaking years ! And then , bam , he has a brother . I mean what the hell?Why would he hide stuff like that from me ? It was a good thing that we weren't together anymore , because it would be worse . And Damon ... How could he act like that with me? Idiot .

And that leads me to another question - how come was I in Damon's bed ? He can say what he wants , I know that I didn't sleep with him last night . Or any night , as the matter of fact . This was like the first time I've seen him in my life . But , I still didn't know how did I end up in his bed . Was I drunk ? No , even if I was I would have rememberedsomething . And I was sure that I wasn't wasted last night- if I was , I would already have a major hangover . It's not like I don't know what I'm talking about . After all , I was a party girl (in the slightest meaning) before the accident .

But , the question was still here - why was I in his bed ?I don't know . I had no explanation for that . I looked at Damon - he was sitting in the armchair , drinking scotch . He looked bored and entertained at the same time . I could totally guess why - bored cause Stefan was keeping us waiting and entertained cause I was looking at him . He was staring at me like a snake ; he never took his eyes off me . I raised an eyebrow .

" Why are you looking at me like that ? " I asked , frowning at him . He smirked .

" How am I looking at you ? " he was playing dumb .

" You are staring at me . It's creepy . " I said .

" It's suppose to be a compliment to you . " he didn't even try to deny it ! What a jerk . He raised his glass to me and drained it .

" That one was for Steffy . Because he managed to hook up with a girl which isn't a statue or a rubber doll . " he did something weird with his eyes .

" And besides , if Steffy's a saint , how come he's allowed to have a girlfriend ? Or even do her ? " he shook his head in disbelief . Blood rushed to my face and I blushed . I could feel angry tears filling up my eyes . How dare he ?!

I stud up , my fists tightened . "Do her ?! " I barely managed to say that sentence without yelling . It came out surprisingly quiet , considering that he insulted me .

" Yeah . Do her , bang her , what's the difference ? " he asked innocently .

" Bang her ?! " I almost spitted out , slowly approaching him . He rolled his eyes at my angry words.

" Really ? Do you have problem with vulgar words ? " he asked , standing up .

" No , but if they are referring to me , than I do . " I whispered through my teeth . I wanted to scream , call him names , beat the crap out of him , but I controlled myself .

" I am not a thing ... for you to say stuff like that . " I was now inches away from his face .

" Okay , then . Do you prefer the word fucking better ? " he asked in a cocky tone .

I gave him the ugliest look I could do .

" No , I don't want you , at all , to talk about my sex life with my ex boyfriend !!! " I shouted at his face .

" Whoa ! Was Stefan that bad in bed ? " he asked with a cocky smirk on his devilish face .

That was the drop that filled up the glass . I didn't realise what was I doing , it was an instinct . I raised my fist , in an attempt to punch him right across his face . But , then in a nano-second , he caught my fist and leaned towards me . He was dead serious now .

" Don't you ever do that again . " he said , anger shining in his darkened eyes . " Let . Me . Go . " I said through my teeth . He smirked , amused again , and let go my hand .
" Where is Stefan ? " I asked him . I just wanted Stefan to explain what he wanted to and go home . I didn't want to look at this jerk anymore .

" He said that he'll be down in a few minutes ... And it has been more than few minutes . It has been at least half an hour . " he frowned , trying to think .

" I'll go get him . " he said and headed upstairs .

" I'll come with you . " I said and followed him . I knew that that wasn't a great idea , but I just wanted Stefan to say what he needed to and get this over already .

Damon turned to me . He looked like he was going to argue with me , but then he changed his mind and continued to walk .

" C'mon Steffy , we haven't got all day . " Damon said as he stepped into Stefan's room .

" Steffy ? Bunnies are waiting for you . " Damon said and looked around . I took a glance . There was just Damon in the room . " Where is Stefan ? " I asked him , my arms crossed .

" That's what I'm trying to figure out . " he simply said , distracted . He walked to the bed saw something on it . It was a piece of paper . He read it quickly and groaned , obviously irritated .

" What ? " I asked him . He rolled his eyes and handed me the paper . It was a note from Stefan . It said :

I left , and so sorry I didn't get to explained what I wanted to explain to you two . Long story short - you two actually know each other , it's just that you don't remember that . And , I need to be alone for a few months , so please don't call me on my cell , because I won't answer .

I'll see you two in a few months ,

Stefan

Oh , lord ! Why ?? Why did he do this ?! I caught the root of my nose and tried to stay calm .

" I'll get out of here . " I said and unsuccessfullytossed the darn note to Damon .

" Wait , where are you going ? " he caught my arm .

" To find Stefan . " I said piercing his blue eyes .

Damon's P.O.V.

" Are you nuts ? He could be anywhere ! " I pointed out . This girl was not normal .

" So , what ? " she asked mockingly .

" So , he's a vampire and he could be literary anywhere . " Was she really that stupid ? Her chocolate brown eyes were full of reluctance . She had this stubborn look that was saying I-can-do-what-I-want-and-no-one-can-stop-me . Her olive skin was so beautiful in the daylight . And her straight hair ... I knew what I wanted to do and , so I did . Because , I also do what I want and get what I want .

I leaned towards her and kissed her . The feel of her soft , gentle lips made me want her more . She didn't kiss me back , nor did she push me away . Maybe this was going the way I wanted to . But then ...

" What are you doing ?! " she asked , after she pushed me away .

" I want to finish this in my bedroom . " I grinned at her . " Something we didn't get to finish last night . " I caressed her arm .

She pushed me away . Again . What was her problem ? Nobody ever rejected me .

" What is wrong with you ? " she asked me this rhetorical question . I didn't answer . I was still trying to get over the fact that she rejected me . Somebody rejected an open invitation from Damon Salvatore . I didn't think that was possible .

She shook her head . " You're a maniac . " she said with a disgusted tone .

"Just leave me alone . " she said and then ran downstairs. I snapped and ran after her with my vampire speed . I appeared in front of her , just when she was about to leave through the front door . I put my hands on each side of the door frame . She didn't have anywhere to go . She sighed - she was caught off guard .

" Please , move . " she gasped . Elena was glaring at me , expecting me to move . Yeah , right . I won't let her do this .

" You can't go alone . I'll come with you . " I said .

" No . " she simply said , her stubborn face was on . I rolled my eyes . I could let her go alone . I could . But , I wouldn't . It didn't make sense . This irrational feeling to keep her safe . But why her ? I just met her and I didn't care about her . Maybe I was attracted to her , but I didn't care about her . So , why of a sudden all this feeling to keep her safe ? She didn't mean anything to me .

She was just an ordinary girl who I found in my bed and I didn't remember how she got there . But , that didn't matter , she didn't want me . That wasn't really true . When I kissed her , there was ... something . Not that she kissed me back , but ... there was something the kiss . In the way she kissed me , I guess . But no , there was something else . I just couldn't figure out what .

I didn't know why , but I wanted to keep her safe . I sighed and got rid of my grin . I was now serious .

" I promise I'll behave . Just don't go alone . " I tried to do the magic with my eyes , and I didn't mean compulsion - for some reason when I did certain looks , well that had effect on girls . Especially on stubborn ones . My look softened and serious was written all over my face .

She blinked . I could see that she was surprised of my sudden seriousness . Elena didn't expect me to be serious . She didn't think I could be that . Well , I could . When I wanted .

" You promise ? " she questioned me . She twisted her head in a weird way . Her eyes were full of questions and expectations . I wish I'd knew what was she thinking . What was she not telling me ? I had a feeling like that .

" Pinkie promise . " I said and removed one arm from the door frame and showed her my pinkie . She exhaled deeply and said : " Fine . You can come . "

I smiled at her . For some reason , I felt relieved . I couldn't tell why , though . And , I didn't know why was I going with her . Stefan was my baby bro and I wanted him home . Okay , not all the time , but , yes I wanted him to be home and bla , bla , bla .

" But , just one suggestive comment and I'll continue walking without you . " she threatened me .

" Promise . " I raised both my arms in surrender .

" Now , let's go . " she said . She was really demanding . I rolled my eyes .

" C'mon , then . " I replied and stepped from the door frame to let her out .

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7 hours later

It was already 5pm and we still haven't found Steffy . It was starting to get dark and Elena made me walk around the streets yelling Stefan's name . How fun . I could run around with my vampire speed , but there were still people on the streets . And I was getting tired . And thirsty . I needed some blood or I could pass out any time soon .

I just realized I haven't eaten for two days . I cursed myself inside . I'm going to starve to death . I was barely dragging my feet on the side walk and whispering ' Stefan , Stefan ' and Elena was ten feet away from me practically jogging and yelling Stefan's name . I could tell that she got bored of yelling the same name for hours with no luck , but yet her enthusiasm was still there . She was turning her head left and right and looking around , sometimes stopped to take a breath . I bet that she forgot about me . After seven hours of running around , her pace barely slowed down . Where the hell did she get all that energy ?

And I noticed that she had quite an ass . I wanted to say that to her , but then I remembered my promise that I'll behave . I sighed and completely stopped . My throat was so sore without blood and I couldn't take it anymore . I needed to drink something .

" Elena . " I called her . Thank god she wasn't that far away , so she heard me . She stopped , a bit confused to see me that tired .

" What ? " she called , walking towards me . I waited until she was with me .

" I'm ... tired ... and ... thirsty . " I said , breathing like I smoked my whole life . And , I never touched a cigar . I was holding my knees with my hands .

" So , drink something . " she simply said . I gave her a are-you-crazy look .

" You really want me to attack someone in the street and drink from him ? " I asked raising my eyebrows . She blinked , realizing what she said .

" Oh , sorry . I forgot . You're a vampire . You need blood and stuff . " she said and frowned a bit .

I just rolled my eyes at her . How on Earth could she forget that I'm a vampire and that I could kill her any second . Not that I wanted though , but I will if I don't get some blood in me soon .

She wasn't worried at all . She was just standing there in front of me , with her arms crossed and tapping her foot . Like she was expecting something . After a minute passed by and I didn't do what ever she expected me to , she sighed irritated and said : " Well , go on . " she pointed her finger to the woods that was on the other side of the pavement .

What the hell ... Oh , now I got it . " Is that your way of telling me to go and chase bunnies ? " I asked her .

" Well , yeah . " Elena said that like it was something obvious . I couldn't control myself and I started to laugh , which wasn't doing any good to my sore throat .

" What is so funny ? " she asked , confused .

" You really think that I would eat Bamby ? "

" Why not ? " she really didn't see anything strange in that me killing Bamby .

" Because I'm not a masochistic , self-tortured , tired of my existence emo - vampire like Stefan is . I drink real stuff . You can't really be normal and eat bunnies . Unless , you're Steffy , which I'm obviously not . " I pointed out to her .

She once again rolled her eyes at me . " Can't you just drink beer or something ? " she asked .

It was my turn to roll eyes . " Beer can't give me energy . And , besides , it would be even worse if I'd drink beer - it would make me want blood even more and I could attack you . " I replied .

She wasn't afraid of my words , she just looked disappointed because we can't search anymore for Steffy .

" Let's go , then . " she said and started walking in the different direction , leaving me behind .

" Where are we going ? "

" To your place . You got blood in the fridge , right ? " she asked , turning around to me .

" Right . " I confirmed .

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The Salvatore boarding house

I was sitting on the right side of the couch , in front of the fireplace and drinking blood from the third bag . I was really thirsty . Elena was on the left side , as far away as possible from me , her head in her hands and starting into the fire . I could tell that she was frustrated .

After I drank all of the blood , I put the empty bag on the coffee table beside the couch . " What are you thinking about ? " I asked , not expecting her to answer me .

" Stefan . " she distantly said . " What about him ? "

" How could he do this . Just bail on me . " her voice was full of disappointment . I didn't really know what to say .

" And , I remember when we broke up that I was devastated . He did something that made me so angry ... I thought I could never forgive him what he did . And the weirdest part is that I don't even remember what he did . And we broke up recently . " her tone was once again distant .

" When I think about it , it's just on the tip of my thoughts , and then I forget what was I trying to remember . It's like the more I think about it , the more it seems to slip away and my head starts to hurt a lot . And , it's really ... strange ... but when I stop trying to remember what was that all about ... all those feelings - anger , sadness and among the all disappointment - the headache suddenly stops . So , I try not to think about it because I get these killer headaches . " she was now fully aware of the words she was saying .

When I think about it , it makes sense ... It ....

" But , I want to find him , no matter what he did . " she cut off my thoughts . I took a glance at her . She was staring at me .

" I think that I know where he is , if he isn't in Mystic Falls . " Elena said , her brown eyes studying my face and reaction .

" Where ? " I doubted that she knew . Maybe she thought that she knew where he is , but no . Stefan's a softy , but he isn't stupid .

" There's this place . Where Stefan took me when we were together . It's called Yosemite Falls . And when we were there he said something like , when he'd wanted to escape from something or someone , he'd go there . " she explained .

" I don't think it's that easy . " I replied .

" I think it is . Stefan could go somewhere else , but he wouldn't . At least I think so . "

" So , what are you going to do ? Go to Yosemite Falls ? " I asked sarcastically .

" Yes . I might even leave tonight . " she was really considering that .

" What ? You can't go alone . " I said , again feeling concerned for her . Though , I still didn't know why , but it was something .

" I certainly won't go with you . " she replied , horrified by that thought , crossing her arms and frowning . And , for another unknown reason , her reaction hurt me a bit . Was I really that bad company ?

" You won't go alone . It can be dangerous there . And , besides , it's another state ! " I swear that this chick was really nuts . She could easily put herself in danger , not even knowing it .

" I can take care of myself , thank you very much . " she gave back arrogantly .

" And , what if someone does something to you at the airport or in the plane ? Like tries to kidnap you or something like that ? " I pointed out .

She thought of that for a second . " You're right . But , I won't go with you . I'll simply ask Bonnie and Rick to go . "

" You can't do that . Stefan's my brother . If anyone's going to search for him , then it's gonna be me. "

" You can go . By yourself . " she said that in a tone you-don't-want-to-start-an-argument-with-me .

" And Rick ? "

" What about him ? "

" What's he suppose to do with two teenage girls ? He'll go nuts of that much estrogen and then he'll be drunk all the time and miserable and he won't be able to search for Stefan . " I was satisfied with myself .

" Fine . You are going with us . "

" We'll have a hell of a time . " she whispered , thinking I wouldn't hear her .

" Damn , right you will . After all , I'm Damon Salvatore - party's my other name . " I wiggled my brows at her .

She just sighed and went to the bathroom .

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 11.03.2012

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