You Know Who
By Robin L. Deeter

The lunchroom of the 27th Division of the Chicago P.D. was crowded as usual so Francesca Vecchio was glad that Jessie had remembered to save her a seat. She sat down across a scarred, ugly table from Jessie Samuels, one of the records clerks in the division. Frannie’s bangle bracelets jingled as she began taking food out of the hot pink lunch bag she’d brought. She noticed that Jessie was eating a Lean Cuisine meal.
“On a diet?” she asked in a friendly manner.
Jessie laughed. “Aren’t I always? It’s hopeless, though, Frannie. I’ll never have the kind of figure you do.”
Frannie smiled, her pretty dark eyes shining. “Thanks. You’re sweet, but there’s nothing wrong with your figure.” She opened a packet of fat-free salad dressing with her delicate, well-manicured fingers.
Dropping her fork in disgust Jessie said, “No, I mean it. You’re so pretty and feminine. All the guys watch you when you walk by.”
Brushing her silky bangs away from her forehead, Frannie replied, “Not all of them.”
“You mean Fraser, don’t you?” Jessie gave her a knowing grin.
Frannie cringed. “Is it that obvious?”
“No,” Jessie lied to spare her friend’s feelings. “But I know you pretty well and I see the way you watch him when he’s around. Of course, I wouldn’t take it personally that he doesn’t look. He’s the type of guy you have to hit with a brick upside the head to make him take notice. That, plus he just has a different moral code than most guys.”
Frannie gave a dismissive little wave of her hand then turned her deep brown eyes on Jessie. “I’m not the only one making goo-goo eyes, Jessica.”
Startled, Jessie glanced up from her lunch. “What are you talking about?”
Frannie leaned closer and lowered her voice. “You like my brother. I can tell.”
“Ray?” Jessie asked almost choking on a piece of chicken.
“No. My other brother who works here,” she said sarcastically. “Of course Ray. He’s not seeing anyone. You should ask him out.”
Suddenly losing her appetite, Jessie pushed her food away. “Frannie, he doesn’t even know I exist.”
“He knows you exist. He’s seen you at our house. You just don’t talk to him,” Frannie countered.
“That’s because I’m afraid I’ll say something stupid and totally humiliate myself. I’m not going to do that. Besides, I’m not his type.” Jessie took a sip of her water.
Frannie toyed with her salad a moment before saying, “What type is that?”
Jessie rolled her eyes. “C’mon, Frannie. Pretty, petite, nice figure, feminine, classy. Not me, in other words.”
“You have natural beauty, Jess. And, you could do all that, the feminine stuff. You are a girl.”
Jessie closed her eyes in exasperation. “No, I can’t.”
Frannie shot her a puzzled look. “Why not?”
“I don’t know how.”
“How to what?”
Jessie’s hands fluttered in Frannie’s direction. “All the girly stuff like you do. Hair, makeup, pretty clothes. You always look so… cute and sexy.”
“Really?” Frannie’s smile was pleased. “Thanks.”
“I’m so plain and I have no clue how to dress, especially since I’m well, full-figured.” Jessie put her head in her hands. “Ray is never going to notice me. Why should he? He’s an awesome dresser. I love the way he walks and he has the most beautiful hazel eyes.”
Frannie giggled. “Oh boy. Talk about a major crush.”
“Shut up! I can’t help it.”
“You’re curvy, Jessie. Guys like curvy. You just don’t’ show it off. Listen, do you want me to talk to him for you?”
Terror took over Jessie’s features. “No! Don’t you dare!” Her voice rose drawing curious looks from the other lunchroom occupants. “Oh, my God! Here he comes. Him and Fraser. Hide me.”
Frannie laughed but she smoothed her hair at the mention of Fraser. “Do I look ok?”
Jessie snorted. “Yeah. You always do.”
“Ok, Benny. Let’s see what your pal Hugo put in the wheel of death.” Ray pushed the button that made the shelves inside the food vending machine revolve.
“Ray, I’m sure that Hugo stocks it with the freshest products his company provides,” Fraser said magnanimously.
Frannie reached across the table and poked Jessie’s forearm. “Get Fraser to sing. I love it when he sings.”
“No.” Jessie cut a meaningful look at Ray’s back as she refused.
“C’mon, quick, before they leave. You and Frase are like best friends. You know if you sing, he’ll sing.” Frannie begged with her eyes and words.
Jessie caved in. “What should I sing?” She always had a hard time refusing Frannie.
“Something, anything!”
Jessie sighed. The things I do for my friends, she thought as she began singing an old country song by Buck Owens. Not many people knew it. It was something her dad had liked and she’d taught it to Ben. Fraser heard it and turned from the vending machine, a smile on his strong-jawed face. He soon joined his rich baritone with Jessie’s pretty soprano and she took the harmony line. Jessie patted the empty chair next to her in an invitation. She never had a problem talking, joking and laughing with Fraser, but then again she thought of him as a brother.
When he sat down, Jessie winked over at Frannie who had a big goofy smile on her face. Oh God. Do I look at Ray like that? I hope not. Jessie’s amber eyes met Fraser’s azure gaze and then chanced a look at Ray. He was leaning against the vending machine, an amused smile curving his mouth as he watched her and Fraser sing. He was dressed in a fine camel brown suit. She admired his sense of style.
Seeing Jessie’s look, Ray jerked his chin in Fraser’s direction and winked at her. Jessie almost forgot the next words to the song and if Fraser hadn’t been singing along to prompt her, she would have. Frannie saw the whole thing and nudged Jessie’s foot under the table, startling her. Jessie frowned at Frannie but kept singing. Fraser watched the silent communication between the two women then looked at Ray with a puzzled expression. The detective just shrugged as if to say, “Women, go figure”.
The two singers finished the song and were met with a round of applause.
“No applause!” Ray shouted. “Just throw money. Next show’s at seven.”
As laughter broke out, the detective said, “Nice job, Benny. You too, Jessie. Let’s go, Benny. There’s a pizza down at Guido’s that’s calling my name.”
Frannie shot Fraser a coy look. “Excellent job, Frase, as always.”
“Thank you, Francesca,” the Mountie responded with a shy smile.
“Thanks for the song, Ben.” Jessie patted his arm.
“And you as well.”
“Fraser! Today!” Ray hollered from down the hall.
Frannie hugged herself as she watched him leave. “Oooh, he gives me the chills when he sings. When we’re singing in the choir my thoughts about him are not religious, let me tell you.”
Jessie smiled vaguely and started gathering up her trash. Frannie stopped her. “Are you listening to me?”
“Sure, Frannie.”
“No, you’re not. What gives?”
Jessie couldn’t prevent the silly smile she felt steal over her face. “He knows my name. Ray actually knows my name, Frannie.”
“Of course he knows your name. You work with him every day. I thought we just went over that?” Frannie clicked her tongue and let Jessie finish cleaning up. “You really do got it bad for Ray, don’t you?”
Jessie sat back down dejectedly. “Yeah, I really do.”
“Ok, that’s it. It’s time to do something about this. We’re going on an emergency shopping trip tonight. And I’m taking you to my hairdresser, too. No arguing!” Frannie proclaimed, overpowering Jessie’s objections. “You wanna catch a fish, you have to bait the hook a little.” Frannie gave Jessie a little wave. “See ya when you’re done.”
The afternoon passed much too quickly for Jessie. She was dreading the coming evening with Frannie. She was not a shopper and not wise to the ways of putting on makeup and picking flattering fashions. Fraser showed up just as her shift was ending.
“Are you busy tonight, Jessie? I was wondering if you were in the mood for a game of chess.” It was something they often did.
Since Fraser’s arrival from Canada and subsequent friendship with Ray, he had been adopted by the 27th as an honorary member of the force. He had no jurisdiction in the States but that didn’t hinder his investigating skills. His extreme politeness and naïveté regarding the ways of a big city had caught Jessie’s attention and endeared the Mountie to her. They’d struck up a friendship since Fraser often came to pick up case files for Ray or return them. Upon discovering they were both chess players they’d begun playing a couple times a week.
Frannie appeared and answered for Jessie. “She’s already spoken for, Frase. Girls’ night.” Grabbing Jessie’s arm, Frannie began pulling her along.
“Ah,” Fraser said. “Maybe another night…” His words trailed away as he wondered at the expression of abject terror on Jessie’s face. Her eyes practically pleaded with him to intervene. He sent her what he hoped was an encouraging smile and then went to find his wolf, Diefenbaker, who tended to roam around the division bumming junk food.

Chapter Two

After three hours of Frannie’s makeover trip, Jessie was ready to cry, something she rarely did. Frannie was having a ball however, telling Jessie it was like having a live doll to dress. Jessie lost count of the number of times Frannie had sent her into a dressing room then made her model the clothes.
Despite Frannie’s somewhat wild taste in clothes, she picked outfits that maximized the positive for Jessie, taking into account her build, complexion and personality. She also insisted on Jessie purchasing matching shoes. Ray’s sister decided against high heels for Jessie after a near disaster that would have taken out a group of manikins. Exhausted by the time they managed to bring all of Jessie’s paraphernalia to her place, it wasn’t long until Frannie said goodnight.

Jessie almost arrived at work late the next morning because she had spent extra time in front of the mirror fussing with makeup. She was required to wear a uniform at work so wearing one of her new outfits wasn’t an option. Diana, Frannie’s hairdresser had cut layers into Jessie’s long, light brown hair and the new ‘do was very flattering on her. Jessie had carefully recreated the style and finished off the new look with simple gold earrings. Studying herself critically in the mirror, Jessie had to admit that she was pleased with the results.
Feeling excited, Jessie had decided to drive her 1969 Corvette to work for a change. She knew that was one thing she and Ray had in common; a love of older cars. Firing up the sleek, silver car always gave her a charge. She had a mechanic who was a genius with vintage cars and kept the motor purring like a big satisfied tiger. Before she got out of the car, Jessie had to look in the mirror again to make sure she looked presentable. A glance at her watch told her she had no more time to waste and she hurried inside.
Getting off the elevator when it arrived at her floor, she almost ran smack into Sid Carmichael, a detective with the 27th. “Hey, watch it, Jessie!”
“Sorry, Sid! I’m running late.”
“Be more careful!” he shouted at her as she rushed down the hall. “Hey, you look nice today!”
Jessie smiled to herself. “Thanks!” Elation coursed through her veins. Maybe there was something to this girly stuff after all.
No sooner did she punch in and get situated at her desk in the records room than a coffee was plunked down in front of her. Smiling, Jessie looked up expecting to see Fraser but met Ray’s gray-green eyes instead.
“H-hi, Ray.” Her stomach tightened.
“Hi, Jessie. Fraser asked me to give this to you. The dragon lady called so he had to hightail it over to the consulate. Said you probably needed it after your night out with Frannie.” His smile was causing her brain to run in low gear.
“Dragon lady?”
“Yeah, you know, his boss?”
Jessie giggled nervously. “Oh, yeah, Thatcher. Sorry. I guess I’m caffeine deprived this morning. I had to rush around for work and didn’t get in my usual dose of coffee. I won’t turn this down. Thanks for bringing it over.”
“You’re welcome. So you survived, huh?”
“Crap!” Jessie scalded her tongue on the coffee. She’d been paying too much attention to Ray to mind the temperature of the drink. “Of course I survived. Frannie is actually very fun to be around.”
Ray shook his head. “You poor thing. She’s brainwashed you.”
“Be nice; she’s your sister,” Jessie scolded him.
“I’m well aware of that,” he said with resignation. “Fraser says that silver Corvette in the lot is yours. Is that true?”
“Yeah.”
“Sweet ride.”
“Thanks.”
To Jessie’s disappointment, the detective began to turn away. Not able to come up with anything else to say, she just watched him walk out the door. It was just as well, she told herself. Before long there would be a steady stream of police officers yammering for files or bringing them back. Better get my mind back where it needs to be. She didn’t need to get in hot water with Welsh. Sighing, Jessie began her morning paperwork.

Chapter Three
The late September wind was unseasonably chill. Fraser could hear the leaves that had fallen from the trees swirl around on the breeze and scrape against the driveway outside Jessie’s house. She lived in a small, two-bedroom Cape Cod that she’d inherited from her father. The living room where they were playing chess was the kind of room that invited guests to make themselves comfortable. Jessie’s taste in décor was not organized. Few of her pieces of furniture matched, the living room suite being the only exception. Various shades of wood stood alongside each other, an interior designer’s worst nightmare and yet it worked somehow.
After winning the second round of chess, Ben was sure something was wrong. Normally Jessie was a formidable opponent and one of their games had been known to last for hours or even a couple of days. Not so this night. As Fraser sat his bishop down creating checkmate he watched Jessie stare out the window, eyes unfocused. Jessie caught Ben watching her. Seeing him glance down at the board, she did the same.
“Crap. I’m sorry, Ben. I’m not much competition tonight.”
“It’s alright. Care to talk about it?”
Jessie sat back in her chair and thought about it.
“Question,” she said.
“Answer.” Fraser was glad to see her smile.
“No, I want to ask you a question.
He nodded. “I know.”
Jessie laughed and pressed on. “If I tell you something and you promise not to tell anyone else, you won’t, right?”
“Yes, but you already knew that.”
“It’s nothing illegal, so nothing to worry about there,” she assured him quickly, well aware of his moral code. “Ok. So have you ever liked someone in a romantic way but were afraid to tell them?”
“Yes.”
“Did you ever tell them?”
Fraser shook his head.
“Did you wish you had?”
“Yes. Am I correct in assuming that you have these types of feelings for someone but you haven’t shared them with this person?”
“Yes,” Jessie answered. “Do you want to know who it is?”
Fraser started resetting the chessboard. “Only if you care to share it.”
Now it was Jessie’s turn to shake her head. “Not yet, but maybe soon.”
Fraser stopped with his hand poised above the board. “Well, now I really am curious.”
“You are?”
“Absolutely. You’re my friend and friends like to know things about each other. So when you get that close to telling a friend something and then don’t, it just makes them extremely curious. It’s close to being cruel.”
Jessie recognized Ben’s method of manipulation and gave him a helpless look. “I can’t say it out loud. I can’t just blurt it out.”
“Why not?”
“Because of who it is.”
“Oh.” His eyes widened. “Oh! Me?”
“No, not you, so lose the fatted calf look.”
“I didn’t mean to imply-“
“You are so adorable and you don’t even know it,” Jessie laughed.
“I am not.” The Mountie almost blushed.
“A lot of other people may be in love with you, but I’m not.”
“You’re not?”
“No.”
Fraser moved a pawn forward and frowned. “No fair. We’re back to square one then.” He frowned then brightened. “Let’s make it a game.”
“Ok.”
“But if I guess correctly you have to confess. Agreed?”
“Agreed.”
Fraser thought for a few moments. “Is this person a criminal?”
“No. I just told you that.”
“Just checking. Is it someone you see on a regular basis?”
“Yes.”
“Is it a man?”
Jessie laughed. “Yes.”
“What does he do for a living?”
“Law enforcement.”
“Do you see him primarily at work?”
“Yep.”
Fraser rubbed his chin. “Well, it’s definitely not me then.”
“Told you. Give up?”
“How about a clue?”
Screwing up her courage Jessie said, “He’s your best friend.”
“Dief?” Fraser asked, feigning horror.
“No!” Jessie threw her queen at Fraser. If his reflexes hadn’t been so quick it would have conked him on the head. “Your human best friend.”
“Ray?”
Shyly Jessie bit her bottom lip and nodded.
“You’re attracted to Ray?”
“Uh huh.”
A grin spread across his chiseled face. “I know. I mean, I already knew it.”
“You knew it? And you made me go through all that?” Jessie grabbed up a bunch of chess pieces and started firing them at Fraser.
He raised his hands, pawns, bishops and rooks bouncing off his arms. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I thought it would be easier for you to tell me if-“
Jessie was out of ammunition so she picked up one of the mismatched throw pillows from the couch and swung it at Fraser. He was already laughing so hard that he had trouble blocking the blow.
“Think that was funny?”
“Yes!” he choked out.
“Then you’ll love this.” Jessie’s fingers found his ribs through the uniform shirt he wore.
“No, no!” he protested. He’d never been able to stand being tickled. It was one of his few weaknesses. His high pain threshold helped protect him from all manner of physical abuse but tickling was his kryptonite. It was a good thing few people had ever attempted to tickle him.
“Say you’re sorry! Say it!”
“Ok! Ok! I’m sorry!”
Jessie quit her assault. “Ok. You’re forgiven.” She pushed her hair away from her face.
Still laughing, Fraser started gathering the chess pieces from the carpet.
“So you knew, huh?” Jessie asked as she helped him.
“Yeah.”
She took the pieces he handed her and set up the board again. “Am I that transparent?”
“Oh no, not at all,” Ben rushed to assure her. “Ray has no clue.”
“Good.”
Puzzled by Jessie’s response Ben cocked his head in a question.
“I’m not ready for him to know. In fact, I don’t know if I ever want him to know.”
“I don’t follow.”
“We work in the same place. If Ray is made aware of my feelings and he doesn’t return them, it will not only be embarrassing but it will be very painful to see him all the time and …”
Ben replied, “I understand. What are you going to do?”
“Right now play a serious game of chess. About Ray, I have no idea.”


Chapter Three

“So how was chess night with Fraser?” Frannie asked and popped her gum.
“Fun,” Jessie answered with a smile.
Her friend pulled a face. “How is chess fun? I don’t understand that.”
Jessie chuckled. “It would be too hard to explain.”
Frannie nodded her agreement. “Yeah, I’d never understand how check and checkmate work or how they could be amusing. There’s games I’d like to play with Fraser but they don’t involve cards or game boards.”
“Frannie!” Jessie admonished her as she laughed. Frannie had followed Jessie to the copier. She watched her brother cross a hallway and enter an interrogation room. Turning back to Jessie she remarked, “I see you’re wearing that new pair of earrings we picked out and your makeup looks very nice.”
“Really? You think so?”
“Yeah. So when are you going to ask my big brother out?”
Jessie was evasive. “Sometime.”
Frannie didn’t let the subject drop. “Like when?”
“I don’t know. Don’t rush me and keep your voice down.”
Diefenbaker bounded down the hall and stopped when he reached them.
“Hey, Dief,” Frannie greeted the wolf. His presence usually indicated that Fraser was around somewhere. The wolf gave Frannie a bark and then pulled on Jessie’s pant leg. Dief backed off and whined.
Jessie chuckled. “He wants a treat. I’ll be back,” she told Frannie. “I’ll meet you in the lunch room.” Then she followed Dief down the hall and around the corner. Fraser stood waiting. He grabbed Jessie’s hand and guided her into the supply closet shutting the door after them.
“What’s up?” she inquired. Fraser wore a very intense expression. “Are you ok?”
“It’s been three days.”
“Since?”
“Since you told me about your feelings for Ray.”
“So?”
Fraser bent his head forward and pinched the bridge of his nose. The brim of his Stetson bumped Jessie on the top of her head. She was not a tall person, topping out at about five foot three. She snatched it off Fraser and plunked it down on her head. It was too big so she tipped it back a little so she could still see him.
The Mountie looked back up at her. “It’s driving me crazy, not telling him. Normally I don’t have any trouble with this type of thing. It’s this whole guy code he keeps talking about and I don’t appear to be living up to it very well and apparently this is one of the situations covered under this guy code. If you know a woman likes one of your friends you’re supposed to tell them, it seems. I don’t really understand it and there doesn’t appear to be a handbook, I’ve looked.”
Jessie grabbed his tie since he was wearing his brown uniform. “You promised to keep your mouth shut.”
“Don’t wrinkle it!”
Knowing Fraser would get into a lot of trouble for his uniform appearing at all disheveled, she released the garment and smoothed it back down. “I’m sorry about your shirt, but you promised.”
He raised a hand. “I know and I won’t say anything but I think I may have a plan.”
Jessie met his eyes her interest piqued. “Oh?”
Fraser pulled a bucket over for Jessie to sit on and then retrieved one for him. “You once told me that you used to hunt.”
“Yeah. I haven’t been for a long time now. I miss it. I used to go with my dad every year before he got sick.”
“Ok. Well, it occurred to me that perhaps you could approach this from the perspective of hunting. You are the hunter and Ray is your prey, so to speak.”
Jessie closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. “Is this going to lead to an Inuit story?”
“Uh, no. Not that I know of.”
“Ok, good. Continue.”
“Well, like any hunter, you have to use the correct ammunition.” The Mountie fell silent.
Jessie waited for him to go on. When he didn’t she asked, “Ben, what is the correct ammunition in this case?”
“I’m not entirely certain.”
“Ugh! This is your plan, remember? Wait- I got it! You’re a genius, Ben! I’m going to romance him with something he can’t resist.”
Fraser fixed her with a confused stare. “I’m sorry?”
“About what?”
“Romance Ray? I never thought about applying that term to him.”
Jessie laughed. “Exactly. He won’t be expecting it. From what I’ve seen, he’s always the one doing the romancing.” She grabbed Ben by the arms. “I’m going to sweep him off his feet.”
“You are?”
“Yes. Ok. I have to get back to work. I’ll talk to you later.” Jessie snuck quietly out of the closet. Fraser could hear her chuckling to herself as she walked away. Oh dear.
He was just exiting the closet when Ray appeared. “What were you doing in the closet with Jessie?”
Ben searched for a plausible answer. “I can’t tell you,” he finally said. “I gave my word.”
“Enough said. I don’t want to hear any more. Every time you give your word to someone about something it always means trouble for me.”
“Fair enough,” Fraser said with relief.
“C’mon. We need to go talk to the wife in the Johnson case again. Ballistics came back with some interesting stuff.”

Chapter Four

Ray was grumpy when he picked Fraser up the next morning. He hadn’t slept well so he was tired and had gotten up late. As a result there had been very little hot water to shower with and he’d had to put up with his sisters the whole time he was getting ready.
Fraser left Dief at home since Willy would be along after school to walk him.
“Good morning, Ray.” He greeted his partner in a cheery voice once he was seated.
Ray fixed him with an annoyed stare.
“Is something wrong?”
Pulling away from the curb, Ray said, “Yeah. I live with females, that’s what’s wrong. I’m tired of taking cold showers because they hog all the hot water. I’m tired of them parading in and out of the bathroom when I’m in there. Do you know what that’s like, Fraser?”
“Actually-“
“No. You don’t. It’s not fun, let me tell you. I’m standing there in a towel, trying to brush my teeth and in comes Frannie to check on her mascara or some damn thing. And if it’s not her it’s Maria. All I want is a little privacy. Is that too much to ask?”
“Of course not, Ray.”
“You’re right; it’s not, and it’s time things changed.”
“Ray, look out for that elderly woman.”
Brakes squealed as Ray swerved around the poor old lady who was creeping across the street. Ray never missed a beat of the mainly one-sided conversation.
“Time alone in the bathroom is a sacred thing to a man, Fraser. Sometimes in a house like mine, it’s the only place I have to be alone and even that is being invaded.”
“Have you ever thought about getting your own place, Ray? That could be the solution to the problem.” Fraser bit down on his tongue to keep from smiling. He had his own way of needling Ray that was barely detectable.
Whipping the vintage Buick Riviera into the station lot, Ray let out the tirade that Fraser knew was coming. Along the way to their division the detective expounded on all the reasons he would not move out of his own house.
Jack Huey overheard the last part of Ray’s long winded complaint. “What’s the matter, Vecchio? Mommy getting on your nerves?”
“Hey! You shut up about my mother!” Ray moved purposefully towards Huey. Fraser intervened, keeping the two men apart.
Jessie entered the squad room carrying two steaming coffee mugs. She acted as though nothing unusual was taking place, which it wasn’t. Ray getting bent out of shape about something was an hourly occurrence some days. While his hot temper annoyed a lot of people, it simply amused her. Sitting the mugs down on Ray’s desk, she turned to watch the altercation with a smile. She caught Fraser’s eye and nodded a greeting. Lt. Welsh came out of his office eyeing the scene with a disapproving frown.
“Gentlemen, do we have to do this first thing in the morning? Knock it off and get to work. Jessie, what are you doing over here?” he asked the file clerk.
“Morning, Lieutenant. I have forms that need your signature,” she responded.
The superior sighed. The paperwork was endless. “I’m thrilled. C’mon then.” He motioned Jessie to follow him into his office.
Huey and Ray simmered down, sitting at their respective desks. Ray noticed the coffee mug filled with a rich scented brew. He saw that Fraser had a mug, too. His appeared to contain tea.
“Where’d these come from?” he asked the Mountie.
Leaning forward Fraser said, “Jessie.”
“Jessie brought these for us? Why?”
Fraser shrugged. “Just being nice. I send her coffees, like the other day.”
“Why do you do that?”
“We’re friends, Ray, remember?”
Ray took a sip from his mug. He looked surprised. “Benny, this isn’t break room sludge, this is real, fresh-brewed coffee. Columbian.”
“So you like it then?”
“What’s not to like? It’s delicious.”
“I’m glad.”
Welsh’s door opened, Jessie strolled out, winked at Fraser and Ray and set off down the hall.
“What the hell was that about?” Ray wondered.
“I’ve no idea,” Fraser mused. His own curiosity was aroused.

Chapter Five

As always the precinct was overflowing with cops, criminals and lawyers. Jessie was kept extremely busy retrieving files, filing them away and completing all manner of paperwork. She always tried to have as much fun with the cops as she could, knowing that joking with them might be the only stress relief they would get during their long, tension filled days. Giving a file to Detective Williams who was perpetually cranky and impatient no matter how nicely she treated him, her mouth went dry when Ray walked into the office.
“Hey, Jessie. Thanks for the coffee this morning.” He smiled and Jessie’s brain shorted out.
“You’re welcome. How was it?”
His smile widened and he leaned towards her. “Heavenly. Where did you get it?” He propped a hip on her desk.
Her heart thumped against her ribcage in response to his close proximity.
“There’s this little place I know where they have all of this great coffee that’s always fresh brewed.”
Ray’s eyes lit up and Jessie had to fight being mesmerized. “Yeah? What’s it called?”
Jessie looked around. They were alone since Williams had left. “If I tell you, don’t spread it around. There’s never been a long line and I’d like to keep it that way.”
Ray raised his right hand as though he’d just taken the stand. “I promise to not tell a soul.” He was very solemn.
“It’s called Jessie’s Kitchen.”
“Jessie’s Kitchen. Never heard of it. Where’s it located?”
“In my house.”
“Huh?” Ray straightened. “Nah, you’re putting me on. You made that? Jessie’s kitchen, I get it now.” He laughed. “Very funny.”
“Yeah. I’m a funny girl who makes great coffee. I’m seriously addicted. What docket number are you looking for?”
“Oh, yeah. Good thing I wrote it down.” He flashed her a grin and read it off to her. “You got me so wound up over that coffee that I woulda forgot it.”
Retrieving the file, Jessie handed it to him. “Hey, Ben comes over for breakfast on Saturdays sometimes. Why don’t you come with him?”
“No, I don’t wanna intrude.”
Jessie’s brows drew together. “Intrude? On what? Oh! You think—ha! No, no. Fraser and I are just good friends. So come with him. We’re talking hot off the griddle pancakes, maple syrup, sausage-“
“It sounds great, but I can’t this week. Maybe some other time.”
“Yeah, sure.” Jessie tried to not be too disappointed, concentrating on the fact that he hadn’t said that he would never come.
“Well, gotta go serve and protect. Thanks again for the coffee. See ya.”
The next morning it was she who coaxed Fraser into the closet. “What has he been saying about me? Anything?” she demanded as soon as the door was shut.
“Who?” he teased.
“You know perfectly well who I’m talking about.”
Fraser pulled on his left earlobe, a gesture that usually indicated that he was either agitated or thinking. He did it during their chess matches but she’d never mentioned it to him.
“What is it?”
He fiddled with his hat. “Well, I just kind of think that- Ray is my friend and you are my friend and see you and-“
Jessie smiled. “Stop, Ben. I get it and you’re right. I won’t put you in the middle like that. Say no more.”
“Thank you for understanding.”
“No problem. Ok. Off to work I go before there’s a line for records and Welsh comes looking for me.”
Fraser stopped her before she opened the door. “I’ll tell you this much. It was all positive.”
Jessie beamed at him, stretched up to kiss his cheek and left.
He smiled and headed off to find Ray. His unofficial partner was at his desk attempting to type. The Mountie heard each mistake clearly and inwardly cringed whenever the wrong letter was struck. There were two hot mugs on the desk. Jessie had been there.
“Hello, Ray.”
Ray stopped squinting at his task and looked up.
“Hey, Benny. How goes it?”
Fraser’s gaze went blank. “How goes what?”
Ray smiled. “Anything. Your morning, your life, you know? It’s the same thing as ‘how are you’.”
“Oh. I see. In that case, it goes just fine.”
Ray shook his head. “Glad to hear it. Jessie brought our morning brew. She’s gonna spoil us.”
That’s the idea. Out loud Fraser said, “It’s very thoughtful of her, don’t you think?”
“Very. You guys must be really good friends.”
“Yes. She’s a very special person and a lot of fun. We have a good time playing chess. She’s also a good cook. We usually have supper when we play.”
Leaning back in his chair, Ray regarded Fraser for a moment. “So the two of you spend a lot of time together but you’re not dating.”
“No. We’re more like brother and sister. Plus, we both like to play chess and haven’t found any other players.”
“I see. Benny, has it ever occurred to you that Jessie secretly has feelings for you?”
Fraser nodded. “Oh, yes, and we’ve talked about it. She’s not interested in me in that respect.” He smiled. “There’s someone else who has caught her eye.”
Ray’s eyes opened wide. “Who is it?”
“Well, now, I’m not at liberty to say. I gave my word.”
“Hmmm. Ok, but just tell me one thing; is it someone in the division?”
Fraser mulled over whether to answer Ray’s question or not. He decided it couldn’t hurt. “Yes, it is.”
“Interesting.” Ray enjoyed gossip as much as anyone and he instantly became determined to figure out who Jessie was interested in. He resumed typing.
Fraser was chuckling inside. He could see Ray’s wheels turning. This was going to be entertaining to watch unfold. Over the last couple of days he’d come to the conclusion that his two friends would be good for each other. He planned to help things along in his own way.
“Do you want me to type that for you?” Please God, let him say yes before I go insane listening to him hit every letter but the one he should hit.
“Sure, Benny, if you want to.” Ray and Fraser switched chairs. Fraser’s fingers began flying over the keys. Ray watched his sure movements with gratitude and a little envy. His mind turned to Jessie again, working on the mystery of her secret crush. He made a few inquiries over the next couple of weeks, but made no real progress. Fraser wouldn’t budge on keeping the secret, either.
Every morning hot coffee waited on Ray’s desk, a different blend each time. Jessie made him at least attempt to guess the kind or flavor. On a couple of occasions, muffins accompanied the coffee, always freshly baked. A pizza from Guido’s was another gift that was bestowed upon Fraser and him. The Mountie recognized what Jessie was doing. She was applying the old adage about the way to a man’s heart being through his stomach. In Fraser’s opinion, Jessie couldn’t have picked a better hunting strategy. She was using bait instead of ammunition, letting her quarry come closer and closer. It was the same method he employed to get Ray to do what he wanted. Ray was an intensely curious individual, one of the qualities that made him a good detective at least when it came to solving crime.
It appeared that a mystery of a more personal nature was another matter, since Ray never picked up on Jessie’s feelings for him. This highly amused Fraser because at least once a day Ray tried to get Fraser to tell him who Jessie was sweet on without success. Neither would the Mountie confirm or deny Ray’s hunches. His partner’s blindness to what was right in front of him did try Fraser’s patience on some days and he was hard pressed to keep his mouth shut because Ray was so dense, but keep it shut he did.
Each day Jessie grew a little more comfortable talking with Ray. She didn’t always tell her favorite detective the flavor of coffee she brought because she’d discovered if she withheld the information that Ray would keep coming back to guess. He actually called her a couple of times from his cell phone to grill her about it. Her trapping was going very well indeed.


The day was long and frustrating for Ray and Fraser. None of the leads they’d dug up had panned out. They’d spent a lot of time and gas running around the city with nothing to show for their efforts. Ray hated days like that. He was glad it was Friday and he had a date to look forward to, although his enthusiasm had waned unexpectedly during the afternoon. Jessie had given him a particularly difficult coffee flavor to decipher that morning. Fraser had tasted it but wouldn’t tell him what it was, so he was no help. Thoughts of the pretty brunette and her coffee plagued Ray. Had he ever asked Jessie out? If so he didn’t remember asking and if not, why hadn’t he? Oh yeah, he remembered now; she was friends with Frannie. Not a good idea to date your sister’s friends. Dropping Fraser off at home, Ray sped to his own to get ready. He didn’t want to be late for his date but even while he dressed Ray’s mind kept straying back to Frannie’s friend.
Fraser and Dief made their way up to their apartment, greeting their neighbors and helping a couple with grocery bags and such. When they reached their hallway, Dief barked and bounded towards their door.
Someone’s here. At least it’s someone we like judging by Dief’s reaction.
The wolf pawed the door open and pushed his way inside. The door was not very functional and sometimes didn’t latch correctly. Dief began barking happily. Fraser followed him and found Jessie tussling with the wolf.
“Hi, Jessie.”
“Hey, Ben. I hope you don’t mind, but I brought you a little something to spruce things up.”
Over his card table Jessie had laid a white cloth and placed a budvase filled with late summer blooms in the center. It added a little bit of color to his otherwise sparse abode. He didn’t bother to decorate since it was just him and Dief. He also reasoned that without a door that could be locked it wasn’t practical to keep anything of any value around. This was why he always stored anything of that nature at Ray’s house or at the Consulate. As he looked over the results of Jessie’s handiwork it made him smile. Her thoughtfulness was much appreciated.
Removing his hat and placing it on its stand, he said, “The flowers are lovely, Jessie. Thank you for bringing them. It does make it a little homier.”
“I’m glad you like it, but they’re not the real reason I came. Do you have plans for the evening?”
“No.”
“Are you hungry?”
He smiled. When Jessie asked if someone was hungry it usually meant she had something for them to eat. “Yes.”
“There’s a chicken potpie holding warm in the oven.”
“I know.”
“I know that you know. I saw you sniff the air when you came in.”
“Does that mean that we’re going to play chess?”
“Only if you want to.” Jessie waited while he thought it over.
Fraser knew that Jessie wouldn’t take it personally if he refused. His pause came from trying to decide what he was in the mood to do. He was tired and didn’t feel like going out anywhere, especially since he and Ray had tramped all over the city. He found that reading didn’t appeal to him either. Playing chess did, however.
“I’d like that.”
“Great. I’ll set it up.”
An hour later they were in the middle of an intense game. It was Fraser’s move when someone knocked on his door.
“Hey, Fraser! You home?”
Jessie’s heart skidded to a stop then restarted in double time at the sound of the voice. She looked at Fraser but he was engrossed in his contemplation. He wouldn’t turn from the game unless there was an emergency. He didn’t consider Ray an emergency, but Jessie did.
“Fraser?” the voice repeated.
Dief whined in response.
“I’ll get it,” Jessie said and went to the door. She took a deep breath to steady her nerves and pulled it open to reveal Ray dressed to kill in a summer weight silver suit and black tie. She knew they had to be Armani.
“Hi, Ray. Come on in.”
“Is he here?” Ray’s confusion was evident.
“Yeah, of course. We’re playing chess.”
She had no idea what cologne the detective was wearing but it was intoxicating to Jessie. Closing Fraser’s door she stood where she was for a moment to get her rapid pulse under control. Just treat him like you do Fraser, she kept telling herself over and over.
“Hey, Benny. Who’s winning?” Ray clapped Fraser on the back and sat down in the vacant fold-up chair next to him. He hadn’t been expecting Jessie to open Fraser’s door. It was disconcerting to him, especially since he’d been thinking about her most of the day. That reminded him about something.
Fraser smiled faintly but didn’t answer. Ray rolled his eyes and looked at Jessie. “What’s with him?”
“It’s a rule we have. The person whose turn it is doesn’t have to talk or move until they’ve made their play.”
“That’s gotta be boring.”
Laughing she forced herself to sit in the chair she’d vacated. “If you don’t have patience it would be.”
“Yeah, hey, wait. Are you saying that I don’t have patience?”
Jessie put on an innocent face. “Me? Oh no, of course not.”
“Because I can be very patient.”
Oh boy. He’s getting wound up. This could be fun.
“Yeah, right, Vecchio,” she scoffed.
“No, really. I can. Take tonight for example. I was supposed to have a date, right?”
Jessie had heard it through the grapevine at work but hearing it directly from him still brought the green-eyed monster out in her. She stifled it. She had no right to be jealous. He wasn’t hers. Yet. She mentally crossed her fingers for luck.
“Uh huh. So?” she prompted him.
“So, I get all ready, as you can see, and make sure I’m a few minutes early, you know? Don’t wanna keep her waiting.”
“Let me guess. She stood you up?”
“Exactly. She never called or anything. That’s just rude.”
“Yes, it is. Are you hungry? I made chicken pot pie and there’s still some left.”
“I’m starved. If you’re offering I’m eating.”
“Ok. You look very handsome, by the way,” she told him with a pat on the shoulder as she moved by him.
“Thanks. Hey, hang on,” he snagged her wrist. “You never did tell me what kind of coffee you brought today.”
“Do you give up?”
He returned her smile. “Yeah, I give up.”
“If I tell you, you have to come to breakfast with Ben tomorrow.”
Ray chuckled, “Like that would be a hardship. Ok, I’ll come. Now what kind of coffee was it?”
“Decaf.”
“What?” His grip on her wrist tightened slightly. “You gave me decaf?” Ray’s voice rose.
Ray’s touch was doing crazy things to her mind. “Yeah and you drank it, remember?”
“And no wonder I had such a lousy day!”
“Because of decaf coffee?” The notion was so absurd that Jessie started to laugh.
The joke was all on Ray and normally he was opposed to being the butt of jokes but she had a great laugh. It wasn’t shrill or overly loud but nor was it the fake type that some women made when they wanted to humor a guy. Nope, she was really laughing at him, a rich, throaty sound that was extremely pleasing to his ears.
“Let go of my arm if you want fed.” He obeyed.
She began plating his food. “So you’ve never stood anyone up, Ray?”
“Well, no, I mean, not exactly. Not unless-“
“What he means, Jessie, is that he has in fact stood women up before,” Fraser piped up, signifying that he’d made a move.
Ray turned a dark scowl on him. “I have not.”
“That’s a lie, Ray. You yourself told me so.”
Jessie sat a plate down in front of Ray along with a glass of iced tea. “Shame on you, Ray,” she scolded.
“Wow, that looks fantastic. Is that homemade?”
“Yeah, but don’t try to distract me, Ray. It’s a shame that more women don’t know how to deal with men who stand them up.”
Chewing with his eyes closed, Ray savored the hearty flavor of the potpie. He swallowed and asked, “What do you mean?”
Jessie sat down, put her hand on Ray’s knee and leaned forward meeting his gaze squarely.
“For example, say you and I were to make a date and you didn’t show. That would be a big mistake on your part.”
Ray swallowed another bite. “It would, huh? What would you do about it besides yell at me?”
“I wouldn’t need to say a word to you. I would simply call your mother.”
“My mother! You would call my mother if I didn’t show for a date?”
Jessie grinned and nodded.
Chewing, Ray regarded her silently. “You really play hardball,” remarked finally.
“Keep that in mind.” She winked and turned the chess set to take her turn.
Meeting Fraser’s azure eyes across the table she could see that he was trying hard not to smile but wasn’t quite succeeding. Jessie moved her rook, capturing Fraser’s queen.
“Well done,” Fraser congratulated her.
“Thank you. So do you play games, Ray?”
“Poker mainly.”
“Oh.”
Ray finished his meal and sat back replete. “That was delicious, Jess. Thanks for dinner. Are you sure you still want me to come for breakfast tomorrow?”
“Absolutely.”
He gave her a lopsided smile. “So you don’t have anything better to do but hang out with a couple of cops?”
“Nope.”
“No boyfriend?”
Jessie almost gulped. “No boyfriend. Not right now.”
Giving her a doubtful look Ray said, “Come on. No one you have your eye on?”
Flame leaped into her cheeks and she couldn’t look up from the chessboard.
“You’re blushing, Jess. There is someone. Who is it? Do I know him? Does he know you like him?”
Ben laid a hand on Ray’s arm. “Ray, leave her alone.”
“C’mon, Benny. I’m just messing with her. Besides, you have to concentrate on your game ‘cause it looks like she’s kicking your ass.”
Ben looked back at the board. “Yes, it would appear that that is an accurate assessment.”
“An accurate assessment. You know, Fraser, talking with you is like being a contestant on Jeopardy sometimes.”
Jessie laughed.
“Well, I’m sorry, but I won’t apologize for having a good vocabulary, Ray.”
“You just did,” Ray retorted.
A look of consternation passed over Fraser’s face. “Yes, so I did.”
Jessie laughed harder and Ray laughed with her then resumed his questions.
“So who is it?”
“None of your business.”
Fraser raised an index finger. “That’s not exactly true, Jessie.”
Jessie’s amber eyes narrowed dangerously at the Mountie. “Don’t make me tickle you.”
“She tickles you? You’re ticklish?” Ray’s voice held a healthy dose of disbelief. He couldn’t picture Fraser doing something so juvenile.
“Yes, she does, as a last resort to get her own way or get back at me.”
“So tickle her back.”
“You see, I would, but she’s not ticklish. At all.”
“You promised, Ben,” Jessie reminded him.
“So I did. My lips are sealed.”
Ray stood up and stretched. “Well, on that note, I’ll leave you two to finish your game. I’ll pick you up at eight, Fraser and see you shortly after that, Jess.”
“Ok.” Jessie didn’t want him to go but admonished herself for being selfish. She would see him tomorrow.
“Thanks for dinner.”
“You’re welcome, Ray.”
“Goodnight, Benny.” He waved and was gone.
Dief came to sit beside Jessie. He whined and nudged her arm. She placed Ray’s plate on the floor and Dief promptly began licking it clean.
“I’m sorry about what I said, Jessie.” Fraser finally moved his king to safety.
“No sweat, Ben. I think it’s funny that he’s so curious. He’s no dummy. He’s going to figure it out soon anyway.”
“Perhaps tomorrow would be a good time to tell him.”
Jessie started washing the dishes. “I think you’re right. I’m just nervous, that’s all.”
Ben gave her a kind smile. “Fear of rejection is a powerful thing.”
“Yeah. I know, but I plan to have him just where I want him. Maybe.”
Jessie finished the dishes and ended up soundly beating Fraser at their last round of the game before heading home. As she thought about the upcoming breakfast, she hoped that she was going to be able to sleep that night.


Chapter Five

The weather was fickle the next morning. The sun played peek-a-boo and a strong wind prevailed allowing the continuation of the below average temperatures. Ben, Ray and Dief arrived at Jessie’s house close to eight-thirty. The small yellow and white Cape Cod stood out in a neighborhood where A-frames dominated. The lawn was well-kept, the walk and drive lined with flowers which were losing their color as fall approached. A two car garage stood towards the back of the house with a small breezeway connecting the two buildings.
Ray parked in the drive and Ben led the way in through the breezeway. The scents of sausage and banana nut muffins hit them as they entered. Ray’s stomach gurgled as he sniffed the air. “Oh man, does that smell good.”
Fraser smiled and opened the door leading into the kitchen. Music hit them and Jessie’s voice mingled in with some oldie that Ray couldn’t remember the name to. The Mountie put a finger to his lips in a silent command. He crept to the doorway to the living room and peeked around the jamb. Ray joined him and looked, too. Jessie was dancing in the center of the room, singing for all she was worth.
Ben didn’t wait to make his move. With his usual speed and grace he ran across the carpet silently and grabbed her around the waist from behind. She cried out in surprise and stomped on Fraser’s right foot. If he hadn’t been wearing his boots it would have really hurt. Ben swung her around and her eyes lit on Ray and Dief. She started to laugh and jabbed an elbow into Ben’s ribs, drawing a grunt from him.
Ray grinned as he watched the horseplay, reminded of the many times he and his siblings had done the same type of thing growing up. It was nice to see this side of Benny, he mused. He didn’t let it show much. There was something about Jessie that made people comfortable around her. He could see why Frannie and Benny liked hanging out with her.
She wasn’t a bad looking woman either. Jessie filled out her jeans nicely and had curves in all the right places and the deep purple sweater she wore was very pretty on her. Her shoulder length hair was the color of nutmeg. The sunlight brought out reddish highlights. As she smiled and laughed her amber eyes glowed with good humor. Ray wondered why he’d never noticed how attractive Jessie was before. He was noticing now for sure.
Fraser released her and she gave him a dead arm before going to the stereo to turn it down.
“Hi, Ray. Hi, Dief. Hope you’re hungry.”
“Sure am. It smells delicious.” He was enjoying watching Fraser rub his triceps where Jessie had punched him.
“Ben, hang up your coats, please?”
“Sure.” Ben did as she asked, still nursing the arm.
The woman can hit, Ray thought.
Her kitchen table was already set and she’d had the griddle preheating. The sausage was holding warm in the oven. Soon pancakes were sizzling on the griddle adding that scent to the others. Ben and Ray were willing and able assistants as both had grown up helping in the kitchen. It wasn’t long before they were sitting down to eat.
Jessie made sure to set a plate on the floor for Dief. His tail wagged the entire time he ate. The three humans ate as well, teasing each other and telling stories. When their stomachs were full they all worked at cleaning up. Once the kitchen was put to rights, Jessie took Ray’s arm.
“You wanna take a closer look at my Corvette?”
“Hell, yeah,” Ray responded eagerly.
Jessie snatched the keys from the peg by the door.
“I’m going to take Dief for a walk. We both need to work off some of that breakfast,” Fraser told them.
“Ok, Benny.” Ray followed Jessie through the breezeway into her garage. He was surprised to find it heated and said so.
“Nothing’s too good for my baby,” Jessie informed him. She tossed Ray the keys. “Start ‘er up.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, really. You can’t fully appreciate her without hearing her.”
The detective didn’t wait to be told again. He slid his lanky frame into the driver’s seat. The black leather was butter-soft and fragrant. He could see that Jessie kept the car spotless. He turned the ignition over and smiled at the smooth growl that erupted from the engine. Grinning, Ray depressed the gas pedal slightly reveling in the deep rumbling response.
Jessie opened the passenger door. “Wanna take her for a spin?”
His eyes were startled. “You’d let me drive ‘er?”
“I trust you, Ray. You’ll have to move the Riv.”
“Done.” He hopped out and jogged outside to park on the street.
Jessie opened the garage door and backed out. Putting the ‘Vette in park, she got out so Ray could get behind the wheel. She ran in the house to quickly scribble a note to Fraser, letting him know they’d be back soon.
Once they were both seated and belted in, Ray put the ‘Vette in gear and pulled out of the driveway. Ray glanced over at Jessie.
“I feel kinda bad about leaving Fraser behind.”
“I know, me too, but if he were along we wouldn’t be able to open ‘er up. We’d have to obey the speed limit.”
Ray looked at her with mock surprise. “Are you suggesting to an officer of the law that we speed?”
She just cocked an eyebrow at him in a dare.
He laughed. “Ok, you asked for it.” Ray felt like he was seventeen again, going out for a joy ride. “I know the perfect place.”

They pulled back into the drive a little more than an hour later, hoarse from laughing and yelling. Ray had taken her out to a little travelled stretch of highway where he proceeded to make the Vette’s powerful engine roar. Ben would not only have protested strongly over the high rates of speed they reached but would have placed Ray under citizen’s arrest.
Parking in the garage again, Ray killed the engine. It had been a long time since he’d cut loose and had so much fun. He ran his hands over the steering wheel.
“She handles like a dream, Jess. Thanks for letting me drive her.”
Jessie rested her head back against the black leather seat. “You drive almost as well as my dad. This was his car until a couple of years ago when he gave it to me. Nobody else but he and I have driven it, until now. I’m glad you had a good time. I sure did.”
The leather seat squeaked as Ray turned to her. “I had a blast. Made me feel like a teenager again.” As he looked at Jessie something stirred within him. With amazement Ray recognized the feeling as attraction. He hadn’t felt it since Irene’s death several months ago. As he watched Jessie shift to face him, he knew damn well that there was no denying that was what he was experiencing. The problem was there was some guy at the station she liked.
“So tell me something about this guy you’re interested in,” he coaxed in a soft voice.
Looking into his eyes that shone gray in the dim lighting, Jessie knew that the time to tell him had come. She clasped her hands together around a knee. “Alright. He’s Italian.”
“Good man.” He smiled.
“I knew you’d like that. He’s got a temper and can be a real tough guy. He is so funny, though. He dresses very well most of the time, is good to his family and friends and drives a great car.”
With every attribute she listed, Ray tried to match it with one of the guys in the division. “Wow. He sounds like a real catch,” he teased.
Reaching over, Jessie drew his hand into her lap. “He really is, but I don’t think he thinks so. I’ll tell you one last thing about him.” Her eyes looked into his. “I just took a hell of a ride with him in my car.” If she wasn’t so nervous and frightened Jessie would have laughed at the myriad of emotions that flitted over Ray’s features. Amazement, bewilderment, and comprehension flowed after each other.
“Me? I’m the guy?” Ray hadn’t seen that coming at all. To say he was astonished was an understatement. Shocked as shit was a more appropriate term.
Jessie nodded and bit her lip unable to speak around the lump of fear in her throat. Ray didn’t understand her sudden silence for a minute before realization set in. She’s scared that I’m gonna reject her. That’s why she never said anything to me. He could have kicked his own ass for his stupidity. Idiot. It wasn’t Fraser who she was bringing in coffee for, sure he benefited, but it was me she was after. That’s a switch. Ray felt a sudden tenderness towards Jessie. And now today, letting me drive her car. Wow. He admired her courage and her ingenuity in orchestrating where and when she was going to tell him. His fingers closed around Jessie’s small yet strong hand. “Hey, look at me,” he ordered softly.
Tears shimmered in her eyes when she raised her head but her chin was set at a resolute angle.
Damn, she’s got grit. She’s scared to death and yet willing to take whatever might come.
“I’m glad it’s me, Jess.”
“You are?”
“Yeah. It’s a funny thing. Ever since that day when Benny told me there was someone that you were attracted to, I kept wondering who it could be. Kept trying to figure it out.”
Jessie laughed and swiped at a lone tear that had escaped the corner of her right eye. “You just wanted the dirt so you could gossip about me, that’s all.”
“That was true at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I kept wondering why you didn’t tell the guy or ask him out. Any guy would be lucky to go out with you.”
“He would?”
His brows drew together. “Yeah, why wouldn’t he?” He sounded slightly annoyed. “You’re so much fun. You’re kind, a great cook, very pretty and you have a kick-ass car. What’s not to like? Hey, hey, don’t cry.”
Jessie smiled through her tears, laughed and hiccupped all at once. She covered her mouth to muffle the hiccups and giggles.
“I’ve never had that effect on a woman before,” Ray joked.
That made her laugh even harder. Ray slid over closer and drew her against his chest. It felt natural to have her slip her arms under his coat around his waist. They held onto each other as they laughed at the whole situation. When the mirth faded, Ray tipped her chin up. His eyes roamed over her face then settled on her pretty mouth.
“I mean it. I’m glad it’s me.”
His kiss was gentle, questioning at first. Jessie flattened her hands against his lean back, wanting more, urging him on. Excitement coursed through her when he responded. She sighed against his mouth and he took the advantage she offered.
She tried to snuggle even closer to him but the Vette’s gear shift prevented the move. Ray felt it, too, and made a sound of frustration. Reluctantly he drew away. Both of them were breathing rapidly. He wasn’t surprised to see the windows fogged up.
Smiling down at her, Ray kissed Jessie again lightly. “Damn, Jessie,” he whispered against her lips.
She gave a little nod. “Tell me about it,” she agreed. Though her brain was befuddled Jessie had the presence of mind to move away. His smoldering look in his hazel eyes told her that Ray was as affected as her.
Ray sighed and rubbed his scalp distractedly. “I guess we oughta go find Fraser.”
They didn’t have far to look. Fraser sat in the living room, playing chess against himself. No sooner than Jessie and Ray had entered the living room than Ray grabbed Ben by the shoulders. “Time to go, Benny.”
“Oh, uh, ok, good-bye, Jessie,” Ben managed to utter hastily before he was propelled out the kitchen door.
Closing the door again, Ray kissed Jessie’s cheek. His smile was a little shy. “Thanks for breakfast and the drive and… everything else.”
“You’re very welcome.”
He squeezed her hand. “I’ll call you later on, ok?”
“Ok.”
Fraser had gone on ahead and was leaning against the Riv when Ray came out of the house. From the breezeway, Jessie watched them drive away.

Fraser wasn’t sure what to make of Ray’s silence as they drove or what to conclude from their rushed departure from Jessie’s house. The vehicle had only made it a few minutes down the street before Ray pulled off, shutting down the engine. Fraser watched warily as Ray leaned his forehead on the steering wheel, his face partially obscured by his arms.
“Let me get this straight; you’ve known all along that this guy Jessie has had a thing for was me?” The detective’s voice was soft, conversational even.
“Yes. I did.”
“The whole time? Through all of the coffee tasting and guessing? All of the goodies? All of her compliments, the whole shebang?”
“That’s correct.”
“You kept her secret, helped her work her plan or whatever, wouldn’t tell me what was going on and basically led me to the slaughter. Do I have all of this correct? Am I leaving anything out?”
“No, I don’t believe so, Ray.” Ben’s expression was stricken as he asked, “Did things go that badly?” Fraser’s concern gave way to alarm when Ray’s laugh rang inside the Riviera. “Is what I did so wrong?”
Ray sent a huge grin Fraser’s way. “No, Benny, you did everything perfect.”

Chapter Six
True to his word, Ray called her that night and they set up a date for the following evening deciding on dinner and dancing. Ray made reservations at Oggi Trattoria, a fine Italian restaurant in Chicago’s downtown that served excellent cuisine. Arriving at her house at seven-thirty, he rang the doorbell. He’d been thinking about their date all day and couldn’t wait to see her again even though it had been only a little over twenty-four hours since he’d seen her last.
She opened the door and he felt like someone had punched him in the gut. Jessie was dazzling in a green velour dress that clung to her curves. He sucked in a breath as she turned to get her purse and coat. There was virtually no back to the dress and the sight of all that smooth, creamy skin made him feel very warm despite the cold night.
Jessie relished the appreciative way Ray eyed her. Frannie had helped her choose her dress, thrilled that one of her best friends was dating her big brother.
“You’re beautiful,” Ray told her.
She blushed. It had been a long time since a man had said such a thing to her. “Thank you.”
Jessie was delighted with Oggi Trattoria’s elegance, having never been taken somewhere so upper class before. Ray ordered chicken marsala for both him and Jessie along with a bottle of fine Chianti. Their conversation flowed easily, peppered with an abundance of laughter. Discussing work was something that Ray wouldn’t normally do on a date but since Jessie worked at the 27th he didn’t feel it was taboo. They discussed everything from the case he and Fraser were working on to football teams. Ray thoroughly enjoyed their lively argument over the fact that Ray was a diehard Chicago Bears fan while Jessie’s favorite team was the Pittsburgh Steelers.
After finishing dessert, Ray took Jessie’s hand leading her onto the dance floor. As they danced Jessie tried to wrap her mind around the reality of who she was with; the man she’d been attracted to for so long. Laying her head against Ray’s chest Jessie listened to the beat his heart made. Ray closed his eyes, letting the way she felt in his arms and the music carry him away. They danced until the band finished the set.
As much as neither wanted the evening to end they decided to leave since they had to work the next day. Ray let Jessie drive the Riv home. She complained that her feet hurt and kicked off her shoes much to Ray’s amusement and drove barefoot. Parking in her driveway she slipped her shoes back on.
“You know, I oughta give you a ticket. It’s against the law to drive barefoot,” Ray said in his best Fraser imitation.
“Yeah, well, you let me do it, so you’ll have to give yourself a ticket, too.”
“But you are the actual perpetrator, which comes from the Latin word perpetrari-“
Jessie’s fist shot out hitting Ray square on the side of his thigh.
“Ow!”
“If you’re going to act like Ben, you’re going to get treated like him,” she told Ray sweetly.
“Now I should arrest you for assaulting a cop.”
Jessie rubbed his thigh contritely. “Do you have your cuffs with you?”
“No.”
“How disappointing.”
Ray smiled. “There are other methods of restraining someone, you know.”
“Who said I was trying to escape?”
Jessie’s suggestive tone of voice was making him crazy. He shook a finger at her. “You are bad. Very bad.” He got out of the car, walked around to her side and helped her out. Closing the door, he pinned her against it and wrapped his arms around her.
“I told you there were other ways to restrain someone.” So saying he lowered his mouth to hers.
There was nothing hesitant about the way she returned his kiss. Jessie had wanted this for too long to be coy about it. She slid her hands over his coat around his neck and caressed the back of his head. Ray’s lips moved insistently over Jessie’s, coaxing them apart. Jessie opened willingly, emitting a small moan as she did so. Fire lit in Ray’s veins and he pressed more firmly against Jessie. She didn’t resist, only pulled him closer, her hands cupping his face.
Their breathing quickened, lips, tongues and teeth employed to excite and taste. Ray forced himself to slow down and his grip on her waist loosened. Pulling back, his gaze met hers. The light from the street lamp made them appear dark gold and mirrored his own desire. Taking her hand he walked her to the door of the breezeway and saw her safely inside. He didn’t trust himself to actually enter the house with her so Ray shut the door once she’d passed through the doorway. Through the glass door he heard her laugh.
“It’s not funny!” he yelled but with no real venom.
“I’m sorry.” Jessie couldn’t stop laughing. “You could stay, you know.”
He leaned his forehead against the cold glass, nodding against it. “You really know how to torture a guy, don’t you?”
“I don’t mean to.”
He smiled at her. “I know. Say goodnight, Jess.”
“Goodnight, Jess.”
“Smart ass.”
“See you tomorrow, Ray. I had a great time tonight.”
“Me, too.” He watched her unlock the kitchen door and enter before turning away. Getting into the car he laughed when he was crammed into the seat. Jessie had moved the seat up so she could reach the pedals. He adjusted the seat and drove home, smiling the whole way.

Chapter Seven

At work the next morning, Ray found a thermos of coffee sitting on his desk. There was a tiny scrap of folded paper stuck under the corner of his desk blotter. Unfolding it, he found that it was a sticky note. It simply said, “Good morning, you know who.”
Fraser arrived at the 27th on Monday morning at ten a.m. He’d worked the morning shift at the Consulate and had the rest of the day free. Inspector Thatcher had dismissed him yet again. Entering the squad room he saw that Ray was on the phone and did not look happy with the conversation in which he was engaged. Ray looked down at the small piece of paper he was fiddling with and smiled.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever,” he groused and hung up. He kept smiling.
Fraser sat down in the empty chair at Ray’s desk. “Am I to conclude that your date with Jessie went well by the smile on your face?” He kept his voice at a discreet level.
“Your conclusion would be correct, Big Red.” Ray showed him the note.
Fraser smiled. “You look happy, Ray. I’m glad.”
“Yeah, I am.” His phone rang and the day started in earnest. It was mid-afternoon until he had a chance to see Jessie. He had a file to take back. The happy light in her eyes when she saw him caused a warmth to spread through his chest.
“So how’s the prettiest records clerk I know?” he asked.
“She’s great. You?”
“I’m good. Real good.” He sat on her desk. “Thanks for the coffee, as always.”
“I’m not telling you what kind it was. Did you like it, though?”
He nodded. “Yeah, but I like the person who delivered it a lot more.” He hand the file to her, enjoying her blush.
“Vecchio!” Welsh’s voice thundered from somewhere down the hall.
Ray rolled his eyes. “Gotta go,” he groused and kissed her cheek.
“Bye.” Laughing softly, she turned to the file, flipping it open to see how badly mixed up it was. Ray was notorious for leaving files utter disasters. Ben on the other hand always brought them back in perfect order. Surprisingly it wasn’t in too bad a shape. On the inside cover Jessie found a sticky note. “Hi, sexy. Call ya later. You know who.” Jessie smiled and put the note in her purse.
It became a game between them. They would leave each other notes in hidden places, sometimes having Fraser deliver them. He was happy to assist, understanding that they wanted to keep their growing relationship discreet. The notes were always signed “you know who” so they wouldn’t be incriminating if the wrong person happened to get a hold of one.
As hard as they tried, however, it was out by the time three weeks passed. They put up with some teasing but it was all good natured and eventually tapered off. Not long after their secret was out they spent their first night together. It was a Friday that ended up stretching into the weekend.
Throughout their relationship they rarely neglected their joint friendship with Fraser. Jessie and the Mountie still played chess and they never made him feel like a third wheel. Sometimes Frannie tagged along to her utter delight. Jessie became a regular at the Vecchio house. After watching Jessie yell and tease just like the others Mrs. Vecchio told Ray that the girl must have some Italian blood somewhere in her family tree.
One night when Jessie was helping Mrs. Vecchio clean up the kitchen after dinner the older woman cornered her.
“You love my son,” she stated. Her sharp eyes held Jessie’s gaze.
“Yes, I do. Very much.” Jessie’s stomach churned with anxiety as she waited for the older woman’s reaction.
Mrs. Vecchio’s face relaxed into a broad smile. “Good. You make him happy. It’s been a long time since he’s been happy.” She gave Jessie a hug and kissed both Jessie’s cheeks.
Jessie’s eyes filled with tears. “Thank you. You don’t know how much it means that you approve of me, that you like me.”
Ray’s mother patted Jessie’s cheek. “You’re a wonderful girl. What’s not to like?”

The Christmas season was one of the happiest that Jessie could remember and she knew it was because of Ray. On Christmas day she and Fraser had dinner with the Vecchios. It was a riotous affair typical of the large, loud family. Ray let it out that Jessie was a Steelers fan and that set off an uproar that ended with Jessie getting in a major mouth battle with Tony. Ray sat by totally enchanted with his little five foot three spitfire facing off against his big, burly brother-in-law without a hint of fear. Even his mother was amused and didn’t interfere. Fraser watched with a touch of apprehension but when Ray only looked on and laughed he decided that everything was fine.
Christmas night as they lay entwined with each other, Ray could tell that Jessie’s mind had drifted off somewhere.
“Penny for your thoughts, or I guess it’s a quarter now with inflation and all.”
Jessie smiled against his chest. “I was just thinking about Ben.”
“Fraser? You’re lying here naked with me and thinking about Fraser?” He rolled her over, pinning her underneath him. She started laughing. It was the damnedest thing, Ray thought. Her laugh never failed to turn him on. “I’m gonna make you forget all about Fraser,” he told her and he did for quite some time.
“Ok, spill the beans. What’s bothering you about Fraser?” Ray knew Jessie well enough now to know when something was occupying her mind.
“I’m sorry. He’s so alone. I love him and I wish he could find someone or maybe someone would find him.”
Ray chuckled. “And would this someone be Frannie?”
“Frannie is my best friend and I love her to death, but I just don’t think she’s the woman for Ben. They say that opposites attract but they’re just too opposite. I don’t have anyone in mind.” Jessie rolled over, snuggling against Ray, seeking his warmth. “It’s like he’s shut that part of himself off. I know it’s because of her. What I wouldn’t give to get my hands on her.”
Ray took hold of her fist making her relax it. “Yeah, you and me both.”
Neither had any solution to the problem. They recognized that it was something Ben was going to have to deal with in his own way.
Fraser enjoyed the time that the three of them spent together. Jessie could coax Ray into doing a lot of things that he wouldn’t do otherwise. He played chess from time to time, complaining with every piece that either Fraser or Jessie captured. Ben suspected that he did it just to hear Jessie laugh. They were able to convince Frannie to come over to Jessie’s house one night to play chess. Fraser and Jessie manipulated Ray and Frannie to square off against each other. Frannie mangled the names of the pieces, calling the rooks “rourkes”, insisting that they were named after the guy from Fantasy Island. The knights she called “cowboys”. It resulted in a hilarious screaming match between the two Vecchios. Fraser and Jessie couldn’t contain their mirth and tears had rolled down their cheeks. The two siblings never played each other again, especially since Frannie refused to play at all.
They rang in the New Year with another chaotic Vecchio party. The place was filled with relatives and friends and Jessie couldn’t remember all the names and relationships because there were too many. February rolled around and Jessie and Ray celebrated Valentine’s Day with dinner and dancing. Fraser left for Canada on a much needed vacation. He missed home and was glad to be able to return at least for a short time. It was better than nothing.
Towards the end of the first week of Fraser’s vacation Ray arrived home very late. He was bone weary. He called Jessie to tell her he wouldn’t be over, that he was exhausted. As usual, she was understanding and didn’t make a big deal of it. Ray needed to regroup after the bombshell that had been dropped on him. He wasn’t hungry, just grabbed a beer from the fridge and climbed the stairs. Entering his room, Ray sat on the bed and drank his beer.
At one fifteen that afternoon he’d been called into Welsh’s office. He remembered the exact time because it was the moment his life had changed. The FBI had chosen him to go deep undercover to help take down a mob syndicate in Los Vegas. An assignment like this didn’t come along every day and it would do great things for his career. Of course Ray was flattered but he had big reservations that didn’t have much to do with the job.
There were strict conditions that he must adhere to in order to ensure not only his safety but that of his family and friends. Anyone close to him, in fact and that included Jessie. He would not have any contact with anyone from his former life. No phone calls, letters, cards, nothing. An assignment like this had no definitive timeline for how long it would last. It could be a couple of months or a couple of years. When Ray asked what would happen if he refused, he was told that his career would pretty much be over. Not only that but IA had been very interested in him lately and taking the job would get them off his back.
Either way you looked at it, he was being forced to do the job. They had so graciously decided that Ray could take the night to make his decision. Yeah, like I really have a choice, he thought. He would be allowed to tell his immediate family only what was going to occur. That left out Fraser and Jessie since they weren’t married. This plan also included putting another cop in Ray’s place who would take on Ray’s persona, thereby providing a decoy so that Ray’s cover would remain intact.
That part bothered the hell out of Ray. He didn’t want some stranger to get to have dinner with his family, work and hang out with Fraser and he certainly didn’t want some other guy having anything to do with Jessie. Welsh had told him that everything had to remain the same in order for the cover to work. The decoy had to keep up the appearance of continuing the relationship with Fraser and the same went for Jessie, at least for a little while.
Ray sighed when his mother knocked on his door. He knew it was her because she always knocked with three raps. It was her signal as she said.
“Come in, Ma.”
She had a look of determination about her as she closed the door and faced him.
Uh oh. She means business about something.
“Raymundo, when are you going to make an honest woman of Jessica? Don’t you think it’s time?”
Oh Lord, no. Not this, not tonight of all nights.
Ray rubbed at his eyes. “Ma, I have my reasons for not asking Jessie to marry me and I’ll explain them tomorrow, ok? I’m too tired to do this right now. Please?”
Mrs. Vecchio could see the pain and confusion in her son’s eyes. Something was very wrong. The mother in her wanted to press him to tell her so she could make it better. He was one of her babies and her instincts were to protect him. But she also recognized that he was a grown man and had a right to his privacy.
“Alright. But tomorrow we talk.” Her firm tone of voice brooked no argument.
“Yeah, Ma. Tomorrow we talk.”
She kissed his forehead and left him.
His thoughts turned to the conversation with Welsh after the Feds had departed the Lieutenant’s office.
“Vecchio, I know this is going to be very hard but I also know that you’re capable of doing it. You’ll be helping to get a lot of scum off the street.”
Ray had just nodded.
Harding sighed. “It’s Jessie and the Mountie, isn’t it?” The superior was aware of the relationship between the detective and the records clerk.
“Yeah. The Feds want me to be ready in two days. I’m not gonna get to say goodbye to Fraser because he’s on vacation and also because he’s not a family member or a cop, at least here anyway. And Jessie-“ He’d had to stop for a minute before continuing. “I have a ring, sir, understand?”
The big man’s face had filled with compassion. He’s suspected that the relationship was of a serious nature but hadn’t realized just how far it had progressed. “I’ll watch out for her and I’ll talk to Fraser, too.”
As Ray sat on his bed, anger and guilt crashed over him. He wanted desperately to throw his empty beer bottle through one of his bedroom windows. Resisting the urge he came to a decision. There was no way he was leaving without leaving an explanation for Jessie. He would be breaking his orders but when had that ever been a problem for him? Resolute he pulled out paper and pen from his nightstand and began to write.

Chapter Eight

His farewell with his family was a sad affair. There were many tears and Mrs. Vecchio extremely upset that her son would be going away and wouldn’t be able to keep in touch. Ray’s heart was aching at the thought of leaving them all. As much as they could all annoy him at times, he loved them and would miss them dearly. He’d always been closest with Frannie and she had been alternately pissed off and crying during the ordeal. They’d eventually all become resigned to his departure, however, and he’d taken his leave of them.
He spent that last night with Jessie, loving her long and well, saving up the memory of every touch, kiss, and laugh. How he wished that he could record her laugh so he could play it when he was lonely and lonely he would be. Everything he was allowed to bring with him was packed and in his car. He would meet his contact at the airport at five a.m.
Watching Jessie sleep, Ray memorized the soft contours of her face, the line of her neck, her compact, curvy body. He couldn’t take an actual picture of her with him so he created vivid mental ones. At four a.m., Ray slipped silently from the bed, dressing in the dark. He spent one more minute gazing at the woman he loved before turning away.
In the kitchen he found sticky notes and a pen in Jessie’s junk drawer. As time had gone on, he had learned his way around her house and was very comfortable there. He wrote a note and stuck it to the exhaust hood over the stove. It was where he always put them because they were so noticeable in that spot. Rereading the note he was tempted to change it and then left it as it was. From the inside of his coat pocket he withdrew the letter he had written Jessie and put it in the junk drawer on top of the contents.
As he stood looking around the kitchen Ray thought about his phone call to Fraser early that morning. He couldn’t tell his best friend what was going on, only that he might not be able to pick him up at the train when Fraser got back. He’d tried to tip Fraser off without coming right out and telling him since that wasn’t allowed but he wasn’t sure that the Mountie had understood.
Squaring his shoulders, Ray put on his coat and stepped out into the night, no longer Detective first grade Raymond Vecchio but Armando “The Bookman” Lanquistini, Los Vegas mob boss.

Jessie’s alarm went off, the radio which was set to a hard rock station blaring. She sometimes had trouble waking up in the morning and so she’d chosen a station that would annoy her awake. She jabbed the shutoff button and stretched. Searching for Ray, she opened her eyes when she found his side of the bed vacant. It was cold, indicating that he’d been gone for a while. She found it odd.
Getting out of bed, Jessie threw on a sleep shirt and padded out to the kitchen. A pink sticky note hung from the stove hood. Plucking it from its perch, Jessie smiled as she read it.
“Hey, sexy. Had to leave early. All my love, you know who. P.S. I left you something in the junk drawer.”
A letter waited for her when she opened the drawer. Her name was written across the front. Its presence was odd and Jessie lifted the envelope slowly, looking at it for a few moments before breaking the seal. The words of Ray’s slanted handwriting met her gaze as she unfolded the missive.

Jess,
By the time you read this I’ll probably just be getting to where I’m going. That’s as specific as I can be about it. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone but what I’m doing is very important. Plus, I really wasn’t given much of a choice. I can’t give you any more details than that. Welsh is going to talk to you this morning but you need to act surprised. I wasn’t supposed to leave anything like this behind but I couldn’t leave without saying anything at all. When you’re done reading this destroy it. It’s too dangerous to leave around.
I know that this is going to hurt you and piss you off. I don’t blame you. This is one of the hardest things I’ll ever do. I miss you already and I haven’t even gone. There won’t be a day that I won’t be thinking about you, wondering what you’re doing and I’m going to be worrying about you and how you’re dealing with all of this. This is all so sudden, I know. I only had a little time to get prepared myself.
There are some things I need you to do for me. Take care of Frannie and Ma and Fraser. Don’t be a stranger at the house. Fight with Tony every chance you get for me. Take care of yourself and don’t go to pieces over me. That might be good for my ego but not good for you. Ha ha. But seriously, I need to know that you’re ok. Not to sound like a bad romance novel, but you completely captured my heart, Jess. I love you and I’ll remember every minute we had together. I’ll have those memories to help get me through. Fraser was so right when he told me that you were a special person. You’re a hell of a woman in every way.
They’re putting a guy in my place and he’s going to take over my life while I’m gone. Be good to him because he’s going to need all the help he can get, especially getting used to Fraser. The whole licking and sniffing things will probably freak him out at first.
Jessie stopped reading to wipe her eyes. She laughed despite the shock and anguish that gripped her heart. She could hear Ray’s voice so clearly through his written words. Sighing, she gathered her strength and read on.
You’ll have to be there for Fraser, too. He’s a strong man, we both know that, but it’ll be better for him to have an outlet. All I could do was give him a strange call telling him I might not be able to pick him up at the train. I’m sure the Feds were listening in on the call to make sure I didn’t say anything I wasn’t supposed to. He’s going to walk into this blind and he’ll need your help.
I could write all night and still not tell you everything I want to say to you. Be well, Jess and know that my heart is with you.
All my love,
You know who

Jessie read the note four times, memorizing it. Her tears kept blurring her vision. Finally she rose and walked slowly to the stove. Turning on a front burner, she watched the flame for a moment, gathering her strength to destroy the letter as Ray had asked. Holding the letter over the flame she lit the paper on fire then turned off the burner and placed the letter in the sink. Crying the whole time, she watched the letter burn, the pages turning black. When it was nothing but ashes, she turned on the water, washing it down the drain.
Sitting down at the table, Jessie tried to get her emotions under control but it was hard not to give in to her grief. That’s what last night was about, why Ray was so intense, so tender. He was saying goodbye. Her hands curled into fists and she pounded her thighs until she was breathless as agony flared inside. Why God, why? I just finally got to finally be with the man I’ve loved for the past two years, why did he have to be taken away from me? Oh Ray, why didn’t you tell me last night? Another part of her whispered, because he knew it would be harder on you if he did. He was sparing you as much pain as possible. How like him to want to protect her.
Jessie’s memory shifted to the few arguments she and Ray had had. They mainly revolved around Jessie having a hard time giving up any independence. One weekend when he had shown up, she was in the middle of giving her old Taurus an oil change and Ray had yelled at her for not taking it to a garage or to have him do it for her. She’d yelled back telling him that she’d been doing things herself for how long without a man to do it for her and why should that change. He’d defused her anger by saying he just wanted to take care of her. Another similar incident happened when he caught her up on a ladder on the side of her house cleaning leaves out of the rain gutter. She’d thought he was going to have a coronary over that one. Invariably their arguments resulted in intense lovemaking because it excited Jessie when Ray yelled. He often accused of her of pissing him off on purpose just to get him to raise his voice and Jessie didn’t deny it.
He wasn’t going to be around to yell anymore. The full impact of that fact slammed into her brain and squeezed her heart. Eventually her tears dried and Jessie pushed herself to start getting around for work. She had to appear as if she didn’t know anything was amiss. How she was going to pull that off she didn’t know, but pull it off she must, for Ray’s sake. She would do nothing to get him in trouble.
Putting on coffee with the sticky note from Ray stuck over her heart, Jessie couldn’t help but think of the game of making Ray guess the flavor she brewed. That done, she pulled a notebook from a drawer of her desk in the living room and flipped open the cover. The pages were filled with all of the sticky notes Ray had written. She’d saved them all. Adding this one to the others she closed the notebook and put it away.
She showered and dressed. By that time the coffee was finished. She put some in thermos as always and drank a cup sitting at the kitchen table. Her phone rang, making her jump. She snatched it off the hook, hope rising that it would be Ray. Harding Welsh’s voice on the other end disappointed her and made her nervous at the same time. She tried to make her voice as normal as she could. He wanted her to come to his office immediately upon coming in to work.
Half an hour later Jessie knocked on Welsh’s door.
“Come in,” came the gruff reply.
“Good morning, sir. You wanted to see me?” She was very careful to sound like her usually cheerful self.
“Yeah. Have a seat, Jessie.” He regarded the young woman as she sat and placed her hands in her lap. She was a damn good records clerk and a really nice person to boot. He always enjoyed their conversations and he admired her good work ethic. He didn’t relish what he had to tell her but it had to be done. He didn’t want her to hear it in public at the meeting he had scheduled. She deserved better than that.
Harding was gentle with her as he spoke, explaining all the details he could share with her carefully, making sure that she understood the situation fully. “The rest of the division is going to be informed of all this at the meeting at nine, but I thought given your relationship with Vecchio that you should be forewarned.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“Do you have any questions for me?”
A tear escaped as she shook her head. “No, sir. May I be dismissed, sir?”
Harding could see that she was having difficulty keeping her emotions under wraps. “Yeah, sure. Do you wanna take the day off?”
Jessie stopped at the door, thinking about it, but decided against it. “It’s probably better that I keep busy.”
He nodded. “Ok, but if you need anything, let me know.”
“Yes, sir.”
Leaving Welsh’s office she walked woodenly down the hall to the closet. She shut the door and collapsed onto a bucket. Silent sobs racked her frame. She’d been warned by Ray’s letter, but hearing it from the Lieutenant made it real, made it sink in. Ray was gone and it could be a long time before he returned. The pain was so intense she had trouble breathing. The tears ran unchecked, her broken heart aching inside her chest. How was she supposed to go on? Because Ray asked you to. You have to be strong for him, to keep him safe so he can come back to you some day.
It was this thought that made her dry her eyes. When she finally had some control, she left the closet and went to the bathroom where she splashed cold water on her face in an effort to relieve some of the puffiness around her eyes. After doing the best she could, Jessie went to work, trying to occupy her mind with the paperwork and handing out files.
Sitting through the meeting about Ray was sheer torture. Not only did she have to hear how Ray was gone one more time, but she had to suffer the sympathetic glances from some of the officers and other staff. The meeting over, she had to pass through the squad room to get back to her post. It was a shock to her system to find a strange man sitting at Ray’s desk. His blonde hair was spiky and his intense blue gaze focused on her.
Joe Higgins, another detective came up behind Jessie. He put an arm around her shoulders. Leaning over he said softly, “Sorry about Vecchio but I can always fill in and keep you warm at night.”
Pure rage burned inside her chest. She stomped on his foot and rammed an elbow into his gut. Moving away from him, she hooked a foot around his ankle and shoved him backwards. Joe, a rather large man, went over on his ass, crashing into a chair as he went.
“C’mon, get up, Joe. Get up and say something like that to me again ‘cause I’m just itching to kick your ass for you right here in front of everyone.”
“You crazy bitch! Stay away from me!”
“Bitch? You haven’t seen the bitch in me yet, but I’ll be happy to show you.” Hands wrapped around Jessie’s upper arms.
“Hey, uh, I think he gets the message, Jessie.” The voice was unfamiliar to her and she turned to see who it was. It was Ray’s replacement. He was smiling. “I don’t think he’s gonna be a problem from here on in. Am I right, Joe?” he asked, the implied threat clear. “Don’t think I’m gonna put up with you hassling her.”
Joe had gained his feet again. “Yeah, whatever.”
“Ray” guided her to the lunch room to cool off. He sat down across a table from her.
“That was great,” he said with a grin.
Jessie couldn’t resist returning his smile. “I couldn’t help it. The jackass made an inappropriate offer and he got what he deserved.”
Ray nodded. “I understand. You want a coffee?” he asked starting to dig around in his jeans for change. They had seen better days, the same with the black T-shirt he wore. It was something that her Ray wouldn’t have been caught dead in.
“No. Not this coffee at least. I always bring Ray fresh coffee that I make at home.”
“Really? Wow, that’s really nice of you.”
“I brought some this morning if you’d like some.”
“Yeah. It’s gotta be better than this slop.”
Jessie got up. “Ok. I’ll bring it to Ray’s-your desk.”

She arrived at Ray’s desk, slid the mug Ray always used closer and filled it from the thermos. Closing her eyes, Jessie fought against a wave of pain. She took a deep breath and opened them again. Ray’s direct gaze never left her face as she tried to get herself under control.
“Thank you,” he said gently.
“You’re welcome. I’ll see you later,” she responded and walked away. How was she supposed to pretend that this strange man was the love of her life? Jessie knew she had to in order to keep Ray safe, at least for a little while. Welsh had informed her that at an appropriate time they could stage a breakup.
Throughout the day there were constant reminders of Ray everywhere, each one adding a new bruise to her battered heart. Around noon this Ray came to see her.
“I thought we could go for lunch, so we could talk.”
“Ok,” she agreed with an attempt at a smile.
Stanley Raymond Kowalski felt his heart go out to Jessie. She’d been dealt one hell of a blow. He admired the way she was trying to go on. As he watched her gather her coat and purse, Ray felt guilty even though he hadn’t done anything wrong. Jessie balked when he suggested Olympo’s . That was her Ray’s place and she wasn’t going to go there. They settled on the coffee shop on the corner of the block. Neither of them were very hungry so they just ordered dessert.
Keeping his voice low, Ray said, “I’m really sorry about all this. I know it’s really unfair to you.”
She nodded and fiddled with her napkin.
“So tell me about Fraser, my unofficial partner from Canada.”
That brought tears to her eyes. “Oh God. Poor Ben. He doesn’t know since he’s still on vacation.” Ben was going to be bewildered.
“Yeah, I know. Welsh is going to talk to him when Fraser gets back.”
“Ok and I’ll talk to him, too.”
“So what’s he like? I mean, I was fully briefed on him but not the personal stuff, you know?”
Jessie collected her thoughts as she thought of her dear friend. “Ben is one in a million. He has so many quirks and just as many skills. I swear he’s like an encyclopedia and a dictionary combined. I’d like to know what his IQ is.”
Ray smiled at her description so far.
“He’s loyal, trustworthy, upholds the law at all costs, even if it pisses other people off and he can’t resist helping someone in need.”
“Jeez. The guy sounds like a saint.”
Jessie managed a small smile. “You could say that. He lives by his morals. You’ll have to get used to Diefenbaker, too.”
“The wolf.”
“Yeah. I hope you don’t mind wolf hair on the seats of your car.”
Oh boy. Ray hated to tell her the next part but there was no way around it. “I’m driving the Riviera.”
Jessie closed her eyes, pressing her hands against them. “You mean to tell me that I’m going to have to look at that car every day?” Her voice was tight with anger and anguish.
“I’m so sorry, Jessie.”
“I can’t do this right now, Ray.” She almost choked on the name. “I’m going back to work. Don’t take this the wrong way but please don’t come to see me any more today.”
“It’s ok. I get it. I’ll see you tomorrow, though.”
“Yeah. Ok. Bye.”

Chapter Nine

The next two days were hell for Jessie. She saw her Ray everywhere at the station. Once she even thought she heard his voice but quickly realized it was a trick of her imagination. At night she lie awake aching inside for Ray. By the third morning Jessie had reached the limit of her tolerance. She called in and told Welsh that she was taking a week’s vacation and if he didn’t like it he could kiss her ass. Welsh didn’t take it personally, knowing that it was just Jessie’s emotional state of mind talking.
After hanging up with her superior, Jessie crawled into bed and stayed there for two days, only moving from the bed when it was absolutely necessary. Those days consisted of crying and sleeping. Dreams of Ray haunted her and when she woke reality would set in all over again.
On the evening of the second day, Jessie heard someone knocking at her back door. She didn’t get up. All she wanted was to be left alone. Curling up, Jessie went back to sleep. The next thing she knew a hand was shaking her shoulder.
“Go away,” she protested, not caring who it was.
“Jessie, it’s me. It’s Ben.”
She came awake when she recognized his voice. Pulling herself up on her elbow, Jessie pushed her unkempt hair out of her eyes so she could see him. Her pain was mirrored in his eyes. Her heart broke anew, not only for herself but for Ben, too. He sat down beside her. Jessie reached up to touch his face, moisture gathering in her eyes and spilling over.
Silently Fraser gathered her to him, holding her and trying to comfort her even in the midst of his own hurt and confusion. Jessie’s harsh sobs caused tears to sting his eyes.
“I just don’t understand how they could make him do this. How they could be so cruel, making him leave his life. To leave all of us.” She pulled away from Ben, sitting up in the bed. “Why did they have to pick him?” Rising from the bed, Jessie began pacing. “They should have picked someone who didn’t have any family ties, who didn’t have people who cared about them. And now I’m just supposed to go on like nothing has happened? That is just such utter bullshit!” She picked up a porcelain figurine and hurled it at the mirror on her bureau, shattering it. The carpet was sprayed with shards of glass.
Instantly Fraser came off the bed, grabbing Jessie’s hands, binding them before she could find anything else to throw. He didn’t want her to hurt herself. When she collapsed, Fraser picked her up and put her back in bed, covering her. He stayed with her until she was in a deep sleep. As soon as she woke again Fraser made her eat. There’d been no evidence in the kitchen that she’d cooked or even made a sandwich. In fact he’d taken the liberty of throwing away everything that had gone bad in her refrigerator.
Jessie listlessly ate the canned soup Ben had heated for her. “How did you find out?” She didn’t need to tell him what she was talking about.
He relayed the story, telling her how he’d found his apartment building burned to the ground and about the Vecchio house being set on fire. She was shocked to hear about both events and planned to call Frannie right away in the morning. She was relieved that Ben and Ray had been able to capture the arsonist. “You can stay here in my spare room, Ben.”
He smiled. “My pack is in the living room. I knew you’d say that. Dief’s asleep on your couch.”
Her gaze was empathetic as she met his eyes. “How are you doing with this?”
Ben shrugged and fell silent for a moment. “I guess I feel some of the same things you do. Hurt, confusion. I don’t think it’s as bad for me, though. I’m not in love with him.”
“I’m glad to hear that. I wouldn’t want to have to fight you for him.” She gave a small laugh and suddenly she was laughing and crying all at once. She hugged Ben, trying to comfort him just as he was trying to be there for her. She released him and said, “I’m sorry I didn’t pick you up at the train. I wasn’t thinking very clearly.”
“It’s ok. I understand.”
They talked for a little while longer before Ben turned in.
Jessie finished out her week’s vacation, spending the time cleaning her neglected house and working to put her mind and emotions in order. Having Fraser and Dief around the house was a great comfort to her and helped distract her a little. It was much the same for Fraser, although a little strange since he was used to dealing with difficult situations on his own.
On the night before Jessie was scheduled to go back to work Fraser brought Ray home with him. Even though it ripped at Jessie’s heart to call this man by Ray’s name, she did it. She treated him with kindness knowing that none of this was his fault and that he was just doing his job. She was grateful to this Ray for helping keep her Ray safe. That was how she compartmentalized the two men; her Ray and this Ray.
They sat drinking coffee and eating Oreos in the kitchen, Dief begging for a treat from Jessie.
Ray laughed at the wolf. “He sure likes junk food, Fraser,” he remarked as Jessie gave Dief a piece of a cookie.
“Yes. It’s partly Ray’s fault and the urban influence altogether,” Fraser responded.
Jessie was glad that this Ray didn’t call Fraser Benny. She wouldn’t have been able to bear it.
“Hey, Jessie, I hear that you have a really cool Corvette.”
Jessie froze, coffee cup halfway to her mouth. She put it down with a thump, the liquid inside slopping over the brim. Memories assaulted her; the first drive she and Ray had taken in the Vette, Ray’s smile as they’d raced along and his skill at navigating the sharp twists and turns out on Moyer Drive. She remembered their first kiss that day, how they’d steamed up the windows. They’d done that a lot since then, either in her car or the Riv. Even though her eyes became damp, she smiled as she heard Ray in her mind after they’d made love in the cramped back seat of the Vette.
He’d laughed and said, “Damn, Jess. You make me feel eighteen again. How do you do that?”
She came back to herself when Ben handed her a napkin. Wiping her eyes, she said, “You can see it if you want.”
“Only if you want to show me.”
Jessie nodded. “I guess you really should to keep up appearances. That way you’ll know what you’re talking about.”
Fraser accompanied them to the garage. Jessie hadn’t ventured out there since the last day she’d driven home. The sight of the silver car was a blow to her. As she opened the driver’s side door the scent of Ray’s favorite cologne hit her. She slid into the seat quickly, closing the door. She breathed in the scent, wrapping her arms around herself, holding in the hurt.
Fraser opened the other door. “Jessie?”
“It’s like I can feel him, Ben. I smell his cologne and it’s like he’s right here with me instead of miles away.”
Fraser knew exactly what Jessie was feeling. He’d been through it all himself but for different reasons. “I know.”
Ray poked his head in, concern on his face. “Look, maybe this wasn’t a good idea.”
“No, it’s ok. I had to face it sometime.” She patted the passenger seat.
Ray sat down hesitantly, letting out a low whistle. “This is one slick machine alright.”
“Thanks. It was my dad’s. I need to explain something to you, Ray.”
The electric blue gaze locked on hers. “Ray, my Ray, was the only one outside of my dad and me who ever drove this car and I don’t know that I would ever be able to ever let you drive it. I’m not trying to make you feel bad and I hope you can understand.”
“It’s ok,” he said with a shrug. “So you mean Fraser here has never driven it?”
“No.” She chuckled. “Are you kidding? Have you seen him drive yet?” Leaning towards the passenger side, she smiled at Ben. “No offense.”
He made a gesture of understanding. “None taken.”
“Well, thanks for showing it to me. You’re a good sport.” He gave her a light punch on the arm and got out.
As they walked back into the kitchen, Ray explained how he’d started hitting on the single women around the division, setting the stage for their breakup. Jessie tried not to let it show but both men could tell that she was relieved.
“I do have a favor to ask you, well there are two favors,” Ray said.
Jessie cocked her head at him. “I won’t promise anything, but I’m listening.”
“Fair enough. Uh, I know we’re gonna break up and everything but maybe we could still be friends?”
Jessie couldn’t help but like this Ray. He was different in many ways than her Ray and that was a good thing. He was funny, possessing an offbeat sense of humor and amused her with his hyperactivity.
“I think that would be ok. Besides, you can never have too many friends, right?”
“Right. Ok, so that brings us to favor number two.”
“Which is?”
“Will you still bring me- I mean us,” he pointed at Fraser, “coffee in the mornings?”
Her burst of laughter surprised both of them. It was a welcome sound to Fraser since it was the first real laugh he’d heard from her since he’d come back from vacation.
“Yes, I’ll bring you coffee,” she agreed. “I thought you were going to ask for something a lot harder than that.”
Soon after this exchange Ray headed home. Fraser and Jessie turned in, each lost in their own thoughts. Jessie tried to prepare herself for her return to work the next morning. As hard as she tried, however, she couldn’t keep the memories at bay as she lay in the bed where she and Ray had spent so much time in each other’s arms. She took to sleeping on his side of the bed, holding his pillow because it still held his scent. Falling to sleep that night she clung to it and dreamed that he was there.

Chapter Ten

Far away in Los Vegas, Armando Langoustine lay in a huge king-sized bed with a mattress that molded to his lean frame like a glove. The nine thousand square foot adobe mansion was spectacular, the servants attentive and he had anything he wanted at the snap of his fingers. The one thing he wanted most in the world was not at his disposal, however.
“Jessie,” he whispered to the room. His mission was going very successfully due to a combination of his intimate knowledge of how mob families operated and the channeling of his pain and anger into his work.
He missed Ray Vecchio, missed his family and Fraser. Ray felt so awful about having to leave Benny without really explaining things but at least he’d been able to sneak that postcard to the Mountie. He knew that Benny would get the message. Hell, Ray even missed the junk food crazy wolf. Ray wondered about how his family was doing and what they had been up to since he’d left. He imagined that Frannie was most likely still pursuing Fraser, especially since the guy had been away on vacation. What was Ma cooking for supper? In an odd way, he missed the fight with his sisters for the bathroom in the mornings. It was so quiet here. It was unnerving for a man who had spent his entire life in the midst of a noisy family and a noisy workplace to have so much silence.
Jessie. How he missed her. His thoughts of her were always threaded with guilt. Knowing she had to be devastated, he prayed that Fraser was taking care of her and she him. I wonder what my stand-in is like. He’d better treat everyone well, I know that much. God, I wish I was back home. I wish Jessie could be here with me in this big bed. What fun we could have in it.
He laughed out loud at that particular thought but when the sound echoed off the walls of the big room, his smile faded. No, he’d rather be in a much smaller bed in Chicago, Jessie curled up against him. Unable to bear this line of thinking any longer, Ray got out of bed, threw on a robe and descended one side of the double staircase to his office. He had work that could be done and keeping busy was better than enduring the torturous thoughts.
Ray did well distracting himself until it came time to type something. He grinned, thinking about Fraser typing his reports for him much of the time. “I could sure use your help here, too.” Picturing Fraser in the casinos in Vegas brought on a major laughing jag. “He’d never get done opening doors for little old ladies,” Ray said to himself.
Ray made a decision; it was time he grieved for his old life. Maybe then he would be able to move forward a little more each day and get the job finished. It was something to shoot for anyway. That night was one of the longest Ray had ever experienced. He stayed in his office until the sun started rising over the horizon line, remembering all that he’d left behind. Tears and laughter mingled as they would with him never trying to stop either of them.
By morning, he thought he felt a little better. Though he knew the lonely night would come again, he would worry about it when he had to and not before. His life and career depended on it. How could he get back to everyone if he were dead? Armando Langoustine left his office, able to box Ray Vecchio’s life back up inside and focus on what the day ahead required.

Jessie’s first day back was a lesson in torment. She had delivered Ray’s coffee and Fraser’s tea as promised but it was still hard to see Ray’s desk. She almost forgot and reached for the sticky notes out of habit. Jessie stopped short of touching them. No more sticky notes would be written. While she was happy that Fraser and the new Ray seemed to be getting along, it also bothered her that this man had slipped so quickly into Ray’s life.
Soon they were able to stage the breakup between her and Ray and this pleased Jessie because it was hard to act as though she were in love with this Ray. She spent time with Fraser and Ray. The Mountie and she resumed their chess matches, an easy thing to do since they were roomies now. Having Fraser for a roommate was an education into the inner workings of Fraser’s mind. He was extremely neat and she never had to clean his room.
He insisted on cooking at least once a week and was not untalented in the kitchen. Dief was a great source of entertainment and comfort. Jessie talked at length to the wolf about what she was feeling even though Dief was deaf. He watched her face attentively and responded at appropriate places with a whine, yip or grumble.
One saving grace at the station was Frannie being hired to replace Elaine Vespres as a Civilian Aid. It gave Jessie moral support and also acted as a diversion because she got to watch Fraser dodge Frannie’s advances. Jessie kept trying to tell Frannie that her approach wasn’t working but Ray’s sister just couldn’t seem to help herself. The two women also helped each other deal with missing Ray. They found it hard at first to get used to the “new” Ray but worked hard on it.
The end of May came around and Jessie felt as though she was starting to walk on more solid ground emotionally. The ache in her heart had eased a tiny fraction. She was living alone in her house once more since Fraser had been given permission to live at the Consulate. It was a good deal for him and extremely convenient since he didn’t have to go anywhere in order to report in to work.
On a warm Saturday afternoon her doorbell rang. She knew that it wasn’t Ben or Ray because they always came in through the breezeway and rarely knocked. Opening the door she encountered a floral delivery man holding a huge box. Jessie tipped the gentleman and shut the door.
“Who the hell sent these?” Her birthday was a few days away but there weren’t that many people who knew that fact. She set the box on the kitchen table and lifted the lid away. Twenty-four gorgeous red roses were nestled under gold tissue paper. A gold gilded card lay on top. She opened it.
Happy Birthday, sexy. All my love, You Know Who.
Jessie sat down abruptly as her legs threatened to buckle. Hugging the card to her chest she cried and laughed at once. Somehow Ray had been able to send these to her. He hadn’t forgotten her birthday. Though it made her incredibly happy it also made her fear for his safety.
She called the Consulate hoping that Ben was there. Constable Turnbull answered and Jessie finally had to yell at him to get Ben to the phone. The man was as dumb as a box of rocks and Jessie was in no mood to deal with him. She was relieved when Ben picked up the line.
“Ben, can you come over? I have something to show you. It’s very important.”
“Yes. Certainly. I’ll be there shortly.”
Ever dependable, Fraser showed up half an hour later. As he entered the kitchen, Fraser spied the huge flower box on the table. Jessie sat beside it. Wordlessly she handed him the card. Ben read it, looked at her in surprise and read it again. He knew who “you know who” was. He’d delivered enough of their sticky notes to remember.
He sat down with Jessie, a grin spreading across his face. “I’ll be damned.”
It was one of the few times Jessie had ever heard Ben swear and it spoke to the strong emotion he felt. This reminded him of the postcard Ray had sent him as a sign that all was well with him.
“I know. I feel the same way, but is it safe? I hope he didn’t jeopardize anything by sending these.” Concern clouded her amber eyes.
Ben shook his head. “No. He would have been extremely careful. He knew what he was doing.”
His words reassured her. “If you say it’s so then it is.”
They decided not to say anything to anyone about the flowers. It was safer that way.
“I miss him so much, Ben. I still don’t understand why they would do this. I mean, I know that he was a great candidate for the job but from his letter to me it seems like he was railroaded into going.”
Ben saw anger take over her features and felt a storm brewing.
“They expect way too much, the Feds, you know. They just take a man from his home, away from everything and everyone he knows and loves. It isn’t right, Ben, it’s not. And I have to pretend to be in love with this Ray. I’m so glad that’s over, Ben. I don’t think I could have continued much longer.”
“I’m sorry you’re in so much pain, Jessie. I wish I could do more to help you but I seem to be ineffective in this department.”
Jessie grasped his hand. “Ben, you are a big help. Don’t underestimate yourself. You know, I don’t think I’ll be dating or anything. I’m through with that. There won’t ever be anyone else that I’ll ever want to be with. Can you understand that?”
Ben crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, yes. I understand more than you know.”
“You’re talking about her aren’t you?”
“Yes,” Ben admitted.
“I’d like to hurt her for you, Ben. I really would.”
A faint smile rested on his lips. “I appreciate that. Now you understand how I feel, why I don’t take women up on their…offers.”
“Yeah, I really do, Ben.”
“But you’re luckier than me, Jessie. You at least have the assurance of his love. All I have is bitterness, something I’m working on overcoming. Don’t become bitter, Jessie.”
“How can I? Why did he have to send these flowers? Oh God, they make me happy but they make it worse, too.”
“He’s missing you, too. I’m sure of that. It can’t be easy for him to have been taken so quickly. Don’t you think he’s feeling the same things you are?”
“I’ve thought about that a lot. I wonder what he’s doing exactly and how he’s doing. He has to be lonely and it’s not like he’s going to make any real friends wherever he is since he’s undercover and all. It hurts me to think that he’s in danger or that someone is going to figure out who he really is. It’s driving me crazy!” She sat back down. “Ok, I’m done whining about all of it. I can’t change it and I have to live my life as best I can. But I’ll tell you this and then shut up. I’ll never love anyone the way I do him. Ever.”

The very next day Jessie set about putting her life back in order-again. She started getting rid of reminders of Ray. Having them around the house was growing too painful. She threw out his pillow and bought a new one. The Corvette was put in the shop for detailing with strict instructions to clean the interior very thoroughly. The notebook full of sticky notes was packed in a box with other things and put in the attic. She’d tucked the card from the flowers in it before putting it in the box. After clipping one rose from its stem, Jessie threw the rest away. The single rose she place in an old art history book to be pressed.
Work was the one area she couldn’t do much about. There was no way to change the squad room or insist on Ray getting a different desk. Her Ray was still everywhere, from the lunch room where he had stood watching Fraser and her sing to his desk or even the hall closet where they’d had some make-out sessions. Jessie could have quit her job and found a new one. Lt. Welsh would have given her a good recommendation but she loved the 27th and was determined to stay.
June blew in on the backs of thunderstorms bringing balmy weather to the city. Jessie sat on her porch one night watching the heat lightning dance across the sky. She loved the storms, the sound of thunder crashing and shaking the house with its force always energized her and sometimes she would dance in the rain in her backyard. Ray had caught her at it one night and had gone off, pointing out to her the dangers of lightning and calling her reckless. She was smiling at the memory when Fraser and Ray pulled up in his black GTO. His father had brought it to him all the way from Arizona.
“Hey, Jessie!” Ray called a greeting to her as he hopped out.
Fraser followed at a more sedate pace. He had changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt since it was so hot. Jessie decided that he should dress like that more often. As they came up the walk, Ray kept warily watching the clouds.
“What’s the matter, Ray?” Jessie asked.
“I don’t like storms that much, that’s all.”
“Well, don’t worry, it’s just heat lightning. It won’t amount to anything,” she responded.
Ray sat in one of the four rocking chairs that lined her porch and immediately started rocking. The man was rarely still. His hyper energy amused Jessie. Ben chose another, sat down and then stood back up again.
“I almost forgot this,” he told her as he pulled a folded up envelope from the back pocket of his jeans. “Sorry it’s a little worse for wear.”
Taking it from his hand, Jessie unfolded it. She stopped upon seeing the handwriting. Ray. Her breath caught in her throat and her eyes flew to meet Ben’s.
“It came to the Consulate today. It was addressed very carefully and I suspect that he sent it there because there’s such a high volume of mail that it would be hard to track it,” Ben explained.
Jessie inhaled and then blew out the breath. It was reminiscent of another envelope she had opened that was addressed to her by Ray. She opened the envelope, finding it comforting to do so in Ray and Ben’s company.
Jess,
I’ll get right to the point because this isn’t going to be easy for me or you. This assignment is taking longer than I expected and I have no idea how much longer it’s going to be. It’s not fair to keep any kind of a hold on you, so don’t wait around. You deserve to be happy and it doesn’t look like it’s going to be with me at this point. I could be selfish and tell you to hang in there, but it wouldn’t be right. Go on and live your life and live it well.
You Know Who
Utterly stunned, Jessie sat holding the letter, staring at it in order to fully comprehend what Ray was telling her. He’s releasing me, that’s what he’s doing. A fury unlike any she’d ever known suddenly burned inside like a wildfire. The look she turned on Ben startled him. She thrust the letter at him.
“Read it.”
“Oh, well, I’m sure that’s private-“
“Just fucking read it!” she yelled.
Ben’s eyebrows shot up but he took the letter without another word. After reading it he handed it back to Jessie.
“Who the hell does he think he is to just decide something like that for me?”
Ray was lost as to what had happened. “What’s going on?”
“You might as well read it, too.” She whipped the letter onto Ray’s lap and descended the porch steps, beginning to pace up and down the front walk. Her hands were holding her long hair back from her face. “I mean, I’m a grown woman and I can make up my own mind. Why would he say that to me? Ha! I get it now. Our relationship must not have meant as much to him as it does me.”
Ray whistled. “Wow, what’s wrong with him? Is he an idiot? Why would he do that when he knows damn well how much you love him? Fraser, your old partner is an ass.”
“Now let’s not jump to conclusions. I think it’s more likely that he is thinking more about Jessie’s happiness than his own.”
A sob hitched in Jessie’s chest as she came to stand before the porch. “But he should know me well enough to realize that my happiness is him. If he doesn’t know that than…” She stopped, fumbling around for the right words and not finding them. Mounting the steps, she opened the screen door and went inside. Fraser and Ray followed her.
“Where are you going?” Ben asked.
“I need to get drunk.” Jessie rummaged around in a kitchen cupboard but didn’t find what she was looking for. Backing up she gazed up onto the top shelf. There it was; a bottle of whiskey that she kept for special occasions. Well, if this wasn’t an appropriate occasion then she didn’t know what was. Knowing she wasn’t tall enough, she turned to Ben.
“Will you please get that bottle down for me?”
“No. Drinking isn’t going to help the situation.”
Ray shook his head and reached up to grasp the bottle. “Here,” he said handing it to Jessie. “If I have a couple with her, can you drive to your place?” he asked Fraser with a wink over Jessie’s head.
The Mountie had no idea what Ray’s plan was but since Ray undoubtedly had more experience with drinking than he, Fraser went along with him.
“Alright. I suppose that would be ok.”
“Great!” Jessie retrieved two shot glasses from the cabinet, plunking them down on the kitchen table.
Ray broke the seal on the bottle and filled their glasses. The acrid scent of the strong drink burned Fraser’s sensitive nostrils so he sat back in his chair, putting some distance between him and the whiskey.
Holding up his glass Ray chanted, “Through the lips and over the gums, look out stomach ‘cause here it comes.” He clinked glasses with Jessie, both tossing back the booze.
The alcohol burned a trail of fire to her stomach, the heat matching that of her anger. “Again,” she requested, slapping the glass back down on the table.
Ray filled the glasses and they knocked down a second shot. Ray burped making Jessie laugh.
“Hey, whatdaya got to eat?” Ray started rummaging around in the fridge, much to Fraser’s irritation. He would have asked permission.
“Whatever you find,” Jessie quipped.
“Pastrami. Cool. You want a sandwich, you guys?” He gave Fraser another wink and nodded in an exaggerated fashion.
Fraser caught on. “Yes, I’d love one.”
“Ok,” Jessie agreed and poured another whiskey.
Ray snatched it away. “Hey! No getting ahead of me. Here, watch this.” He set the drink down in front of Fraser.
Jessie pouted but didn’t object otherwise. Ray made the sandwiches and doled them out.
“So Jessie, explain to me how you live in Chicago and root for the Steelers.”
“My dad was originally from Pittsburgh, so I grew up watching them. Better than the Bears any day.”
Fraser realized that Ray was distracting Jessie from drinking. They argued about football until they finished their sandwiches. Then Jessie asked Fraser for her drink, which he handed over reluctantly. She drank it in one gulp squeezing her eyes shut at the burn. It felt good.
“C’mon. Let’s dance.” Taking Jessie’s hand, Ray hauled her out of her chair.
“Here?”
“Yeah, here. Throw on something fast.”
“Could you be more specific?” Jessie headed for the stereo.
“Fast but so you can still dance to it. Something with rhythm. I’ll get us another drink.”
Fraser scowled at his partner until Ray put a finger to his lips. He filled both of their glasses halfway with whiskey and topped them off with tap water. The Mountie smiled and tapped his temple in approval. Music began to pound, Ray began to dance and Ben began to laugh. Dancing into the living room, Ray handed Jessie her drink. Once they drank them, Ray twirled Jessie and maneuvered her around the living room. Jessie was pleasantly surprised at how well Ray danced. He was quite graceful.
Jessie could feel the alcohol set in and didn’t try to fight it. She didn’t drink much so it affected her quicker than it would someone who did. After a couple of fast songs, Ray put on some slower tunes. Jessie started to yawn. The dancing had taken her mind off alcohol which was Ray’s plan. Jessie laid her head on Ray’s shoulder. It was comforting to have him rocking her back and forth. Sorrow replaced her anger. When she began crying, Ray tightened his arms around her, soothing her. Jessie’s tears faded and she drifted into a half-doze.
Watching Ray putting Jessie to sleep, Fraser admired Ray’s cleverness. Ray’s blue eyes were stormy whenever they meet his and Fraser had the feeling that the ride to his place was going to be a noisy one. Discerning that Jessie was almost asleep on her feet, Ray picked her up, carried her to her room and laid her down gently on her bed. He covered her with just a sheet since the night was so warm.
Fraser and Ray turned out the lights after putting things away in the kitchen. Quietly they left, locking the door behind them. They argued on the way to Fraser’s about whether Jessie’s Ray had done the right thing or not. Arriving at an impasse they agreed to leave the subject alone.

Chapter Eleven

Armando Langoustine was relieved to return “home” to the adobe mansion. It had been a long night at the casino with an abundance of business to be done. Afterwards he’d had a meeting with his handler to bring him up to date and strategize. It was quarter to four when he walked through the front door. Nero the butler must have been alerted that Armando was coming home. The gray-haired servant waited in the front hall.
“I’ve taken the liberty of serving your buttermilk in your room, sir.”
Armando offered a tired smile. “Thanks. I gotta get some sleep. Make sure nobody bothers me until ten, ok?”
“Yes, sir.”
Upon entering the master bedroom, Armando slipped away and Ray came out of the box he’d been kept in all day. Ray figured that this was what it must be like for people with multiple personalities. For a while you’re one person and then you’re someone else. He undressed and sat on the bed. His buttermilk awaited on the nightstand.
He reached for it, taking a healthy swig. Benny didn’t care for it, he remembered with a wry smile. The Mountie had refused to drink it, an expression of revulsion on his face. Jessie had tasted it and declared it disgusting. Thinking of her brought to mind the last message he’d sent her.
Ray, I think it was a mistake, Benny’s voice echoed in his mind.
“I had to do it. I could be here for God knows how long and it wouldn’t be fair to keep her tied down. She should be able to live her life.”
But her life is with you, Ray. In her heart and mind, you’re all she wants.
“Well what am I supposed to do about it?” He laid his head in his hands. “This is bad, very bad. I’m talking to an empty room listening to a Mountie that only I can hear.” Ray pictured the diamond solitaire ring he’d hidden in a dresser drawer in the Vecchio house. He hadn’t been able to propose before he left and his emotions on the subject were mixed.
On one hand he was glad that he hadn’t asked the big question because this way she wasn’t prevented from moving on with her life but on the other it ripped him apart to think of her with someone else. Why couldn’t he let her go? Wasn’t time supposed to fix everything? It wasn’t doing the trick in this case. He found that his love for Jessie hadn’t diminished at all. Oh, he’d tried to forget, done everything he could think of to get her out of his system. Drinking didn’t help and he wouldn’t consume enough alcohol to get trashed because it might loosen his tongue. He’d even gone on a couple of dates but was left so cold by the women that he hadn’t even wanted to kiss them. Besides, he’d felt as if he were cheating the whole time.
Finishing his buttermilk, Ray lay down. Weary as his body was, his mind only let him achieve an uneasy sleep where images of his old life played like a slideshow.

After the summer night when Ray had danced Jessie to sleep, she grew closer to him. He became another brother figure to her like Fraser only easier to convince or coerce into juvenile behavior. When he was a smart ass to her, Jessie never failed to mete out justice in the form of a dead leg or withholding coffee. The first time Jessie had given him a dead leg he’d punched her back out of reflex since her move was so unexpected.
She’d fallen to the floor, Fraser kneeling to make sure she was ok. Her body shook and he thought she was crying but when she rolled over she was laughing so hard that the spasms were silent. Fraser was furious and would have risen to her defense but she stopped him.
“It’s my own fault, Ben. I only got what I deserved,” she said and dissolved into more laughter. Ray had apologized profusely, feeling terrible, but she’d waved him away. “I’m just so used to Fraser never hitting me back that I didn’t give it a second thought.”
“Yeah, well I don’t ever hit women,” Ray said. “You just surprised me.”
“Ray, it’s fine, really and it was sort of fun, in a twisted kind of way. Feel free to retaliate any time.”
“I don’t think so.” But he did retaliate; with practical jokes.
One morning she couldn’t open her middle desk drawer. It was sealed with Superglue. When Ray saw her coming into the squad room looking fit to kill he’d quickly gotten up and gone to the men’s room. In exchange for coffee Ray told her dirty jokes. When Ray pleased her in some way she would pat his spiky hair but when anyone else tried it they were quickly put in their place.
Fraser and Jessie still played chess but when Ray was around they opted to play Scrabble so all three could play at once. Ray was a terrible cheater and tried to get away with creating crazy words that came with even more absurd definitions. Fraser never let him get away with it even though Jessie was tempted to give him points for creativity.
A moment came that solidified Jessie and Ray’s friendship. No sooner had Fraser and Ray come through her kitchen door when she whipped the keys to the Vette at Ray.
“Think fast!”
They hit him in the chest. “Ow!”
“I’m sorry!” Jessie picked up the keys while Ray rubbed his chest. “I really thought you’d catch them. Here,” she dropped them into his palm.
He looked down at them, then back up at her, his electric blue eyes doubtful. “Really? You’re sure?”
Jessie nodded. “Have fun.”
He jogged out to the garage, the sound of him peeling out of the driveway following his departure. Jessie found that she had stopped thinking of him as “this Ray”. He was now just Ray.
Despite the appearance of Jessie’s improved state of mind on the outside, Fraser could still see the anger and hurt in her eyes when she thought no one was paying attention. Ray could relate since he was still in love with his ex-wife, Stella. He and Jessie started talking about their respective relationship problems. Jessie never discussed her anger with Frannie because she couldn’t mention the letter to any of the Vecchios for fear that they hadn’t received communication from Ray. She would do nothing to hurt them.
Ray didn’t understand how Vecchio could expect her to just move on and Jessie felt that Stella should give things with Ray another try.
“Don’t be too hard on Stella, Jessie. There’s a lot of history there and I can be a lot to take.” He shrugged. “It’s a long story.”
Jessie had taken his hand. “If you ever want to tell it, I’ll listen.”
Smiling sadly, Ray said, “I’ll remember that.”

Fall arrived bringing bitter temperatures with it. The Vecchio house had been restored and the holidays brought a bevy of parties at the family home. Jessie organized a Canadian Thanksgiving on the second Monday in October in Ben’s honor which brought tears to the Mountie’s eyes. The American Thanksgiving followed in November with Christmas in December. That day was somewhat lackluster because everyone was missing Ray.
In the kitchen, his mother cried as she told Jessie that she had bought presents for Ray to open when he returned home. She missed her Raymundo terribly. Jessie tried to comfort her as best she could but there was little she could say to help.
Jessie went upstairs to use the bathroom. On the way down she slipped into Ray’s room. The fire department had arrived before much structure damage was done to the house all those months ago. Most of the harm had been done by smoke and water. The downstairs had gotten the worst of it while the upstairs had largely been spared. Mrs. Vecchio had insisted on leaving Ray’s room intact despite Frannie’s petition to switch rooms since Ray’s was bigger than hers.
Several pictures sat on his dresser, his smiling face gazing out at her. Her favorite was one of Frannie and him hugging, looking like they were in the middle of a laugh. Ray’s eyes were greener in the sunlight. It must have been summer when the picture was snapped since both he and Frannie were wearing short sleeved shirts. Both siblings tended to dress on the flashy side and Ray’s blue and yellow Bermuda shirt was a testimony to that fact.
“Oh, Ray, I miss you so much. I’m so pissed at you,” she told him as she picked up the photograph. “Don’t you know that I love you too much to do what you think I should?” She kissed the glass over his face and replaced it on the dresser.
The scent of his cologne lingered in the room. Jessie opened Ray’s closet and stepped inside and wrapped her arms gently around several of the suits that hung there and inhaled deeply, imagining that she was embracing the man the suits belonged to. Not wanting to wrinkle them, Jessie let them go and left the closet and Ray’s room.
When she rejoined the family, Fraser gave her an odd look from across the living room. Sending him a sheepish smile, Jessie started playing with Maria’s children who were building things with Lincoln Logs. He didn’t make any remark or ask her anything, just returned her smile.
Another party ensued on New Year’s Eve. Jessie’s heart wasn’t in it, but she couldn’t refuse Ma Vecchio when the woman called to make sure she was coming. As usual Ray was a good distraction for her, teaching her some dance steps and then trying to teach Fraser, which had everyone in stitches. For all of his agility and grace, Ben had no rhythm, but he tried his best. At midnight, the usual cry of “Happy New Year” went up. Jessie kissed Fraser and Ray and even bussed Tony’s cheek before she escaped outside. She took in deep breaths of the frigid air that seared her lungs. The night was clear, the stars actually visible above the city for a change.
Gazing upward at the heavenly bodies her mind filled with Ray, Jessie prayed that Ray was somewhere thinking of her and doing the same thing. “Happy New Year, Ray.”

Ray stood on the roof of the Desert Star casino, shoulders hunched inside his fine wool, charcoal gray overcoat against the cold. January temperatures tended to hover in the thirties at night. In Chicago it would have been much colder, most likely around twenty degrees. He’d come up here to get away from all of the pandemonium in the banquet room where he’d thrown a New Year’s bash. It had been fun for a while but then started getting on his nerves. At midnight some chick had kissed him and he had pretended to enjoy it since he couldn’t let anyone see his true feelings. Soon afterward he’d left the party seeking some solitude.
It never failed to surprise him how much clearer the skies were out here in the desert. Now he understood what Fraser meant about not being able to see the stars. He’d never really thought much about it until arriving in Las Vegas. The longer he was there, the more he realized how much he’d taken for granted in Chicago. The love of family and friends was the biggest one, but even the hectic buzz of activity in the squad room was sorely missed. Welsh hollering at him and chewing his ass out was another. The big man was a father figure to Ray or an uncle at least.
Riding everywhere in a limo was fun but he missed the Riv, missed driving Jessie’s Vette along the hairpin curves. As his eyes scanned the rooftop he remembered times when he’d followed Fraser as the Mountie had run across roofs along the Chicago streets, jumping from one to the next. Well, falling from one to the next in his case. God, he must have been crazy to do it, but he had to admit it had been exciting and got his blood pumping. He and Fraser had run down so many allies that it was impossible to count them.
He laughed remembering the crazy guy at the horse stables who collected the manure and made a business of selling it as fertilizer. Fraser sticking meat on his nose and smelling it in the grocery store had led to a whole can of worms or parasites was more like it. Nothing like that ever happened out here; no alleyway chases, no helping people who had no one else to help them. No following threadbare leads with Benny and closing cases along the way.
Normally Ray didn’t make New Year’s resolutions figuring that they were a waste of time, but this year he did. When he got back home he was going to spend more time with the people who were most important to him. And, he was going to marry Jessie. He was going to take that ring and put it on her finger. He didn’t care if she’d actually started seeing someone else, didn’t care how pissed off at him she was, didn’t care if he would have to start all over with her again. Whatever he’d have to do would be worth it. He swallowed the threatening tears and smiled up at the stars. “Happy New Year, Jess.”

Chapter Twelve

The start of the New Year brought Jessie a wonderful surprise from Ben. He gave her one of Dief’s pups. Apparently the wolf and his canine love, Maggie, a beautiful Husky had conceived yet again. Fraser let himself in the kitchen as always and set the pup down. He promptly began exploring and followed Dief into the living room where Jessie was dusting.
“Where did you come from?” She scooped the little guy up, nuzzling the soft fur. Puppy kisses were bestowed on her.
“Merry belated Christmas!” Ben greeted her.
Jessie hugged Ben while still holding the puppy. “Thank you. He’s beautiful.” She knelt hugging Dief. “Thank you, too, Dief, and congratulations on becoming a father again.”
Dief kissed her cheek and offered her a paw. She shook it and stood again. The pup wiggled and she set him down.
“I have to think of a name. Something suitable for a wolf-dog and for a male.”
“You will. Give it a day or two.”
Housebreaking and obedience training began in earnest with little Duke as he’d been dubbed learning in leaps and bounds. He was a welcome addition to her house, providing her with almost constant companionship and entertainment.

Work was extremely hectic in February which pleased Jessie because it kept her mind off of Valentine’s Day which she spent in a darkened theatre with Ray watching a couple of action movies. Watching things get blown up kept her from thinking about romance and the fact that her love was not there to celebrate with her.
Ray kept throwing popcorn at her and she would throw it back. They shared the bucket of popcorn and ate nachos and candy and drank soda until they thought they were going to be sick. Fraser had had night duty at the Consulate and couldn’t go with them. Around midnight Ray drove her home and walked her to the door.
“Thanks for making Valentine’s Day fun, Jessie,” Ray said as she put the key in the breezeway door. Duke started barking, on the alert.
She turned, looking up into his eyes. “You’re welcome and thank you for doing the same for me.” Brushing hair from her face she said, “You know it’s too bad that we both love other people in a way.”
Ray flashed his adorable grin. “Yeah, I know what you mean. But it’s like Fraser said to me once; people aren’t interchangeable.”
“I agree and I wasn’t implying that. You and Ray are so different, but you’re a good guy and you’re good to me. Maybe if-“
Ray’s kiss silenced her and she kissed him back. When his head lifted they looked in each other’s eyes and then started laughing. “Nothing?” Ray asked.
“Nothing. You?”
He shook his head. “Nope.”
“Well, I guess it’s good to find out.”
Ray nodded in agreement and kissed her on the cheek. “Goodnight, Jessie.”
“Goodnight, Ray.”

As February drew to a close, Jessie began noticing a change in Ben. His eyes had taken on a melancholy light that couldn’t be dispelled by any smile. Jessie got him to spill the beans and he told her he was homesick. Ray said that Ben had informed him of his state of mind as well. As much as it hurt to think of Ben leaving, Jessie wondered if the time for Ben to go back to Canada wasn’t at hand. She knew that if their roles were reversed that she would be missing her home country, too. Ben’s stint in the city was a long one. She imagined that he must crave the snowy, vast openness of the Northwest Territories he called home.
In the second week of March, Ray and Ben weren’t around much. Frannie and Jessie spent a lot of time together, Frannie railroading Jessie into another major shopping trip. She said she was tired of seeing Jessie wearing the same things over and over. Jessie couldn’t care one way or another about what she wore. There was no one to impress in her opinion. A couple of guys at work had asked her out but she turned them down flat. The other guys got the message and didn’t bother her.
Her heart still belonged to Ray and even though time was helping to ease her sorrow marginally, she knew that she was waiting for Ray to return. Frannie incurred Jessie’s anger when she suggested that Jessie get on with her life and start dating.
“Ray’s my brother and I love him, but who knows how long he’ll be gone? He wouldn’t want you to pine for him or whatever.”
“I don’t want to date anyone, Frannie. I’m still in love with him. I would feel like I was cheating. No, I’m prepared to wait for him. Maybe that seems silly and old fashioned but that’s the way I feel.”
“That’s really romantic and all but what if he finds someone wherever he is?” Frannie wasn’t deliberately trying to be mean but she felt that Jessie needed to face such a possibility.
Jessie smiled. “I doubt that he would start dating when he knows the job could end at any time, Frannie.”
“You never know.”
Rage built inside Jessie’s chest. “If you are deliberately trying to hurt and piss me off, you’re doing a good job. I’m waiting for Ray and that’s the end of this conversation.”
Crossing her arms, Frannie gave Jessie a big smile, her dark eyes shining. “Ma was right; you’re really committed to Ray.”
“That was a test? I’d really like to smack you right now, but since we’re at work, I won’t.”
“Gee, thanks. No need to get violent.”

That evening shortly after five Jessie’s doorbell rang. Opening the door she encountered Ray and Ben. Duke jumped around happy to see his friends. Ben was wearing an odd smile that bordered on being goofy.
“Is he drunk?” she asked Ray.
“Nope.”
Jessie frowned. “Why didn’t you come in the other way like usual?”
“We brought a friend with us,” Fraser informed her.
“Oh. Did Frannie come along?”
Fraser suddenly lurched forward, hit from behind by some unseen force. He grunted from the impact. Ray and Fraser tried to move through the doorway at the same time and got stuck.
Jessie laughed. “Are you two trying out for some kind of act or something?”
Fraser backed up so Ray could go first. They moved into the living room and separated.
Jessie blinked hard. I must be hallucinating. She closed her eyes and pressed on them. When she reopened them, he was still there, smiling at her. Jessie looked at Ben who was smiling to beat the band. He nodded. “He’s really here, Jessie.”
She drank in the sight of him. He looked incredibly good to her. Her Ray was actually standing in her living room. He had reappeared in her life as suddenly as he’d disappeared. A flurry of emotions ran through Jessie. Joy, anger and hurt swirled in a confusing mixture.
“Jess, it’s really me.”
His voice washed over her causing tears to form. Hesitantly she stepped toward him, afraid that if she moved too fast he would vanish. “I can’t believe it,” she said softly. “I’m afraid you’ll disappear.”
Ray longed to hold Jessie, to touch her and kiss her. “You can believe it.”
All of her anger and pain surfaced inside and showed on her face. Ray’s heart filled with compassion and he couldn’t blame her for the way she felt.
“How could you do that to me?”
“Do what? Leave? I didn’t have a choice, Jess.”
At this point Fraser jerked his head toward the door in a signal to the other Ray that they leave.
“We’ll be waiting in the car, Ray.” Fraser followed Kowalski outside.
“I’m not talking about that. Yeah, I was pissed but more at the Feds on your behalf, not at you, Ray.”
“Then what are you talking about?” he asked even though he knew. She needed to talk about it and he realized that he needed to explain his side of things. It was important to him that she understood where he’d been coming from.
“The letter, Ray, that damn letter.” She wrapped her arms around her midsection. “Why on earth would you write something like that? You shouldn’t have taken the risk of sending it in the first place and second you apparently don’t understand how I feel about you.”
Sighing, Ray hung his head then looked up at her, hazel eyes glowing with emotion. “I understand, Jess. I feel the same way about you.” Moving to stand in front of her he took her by the shoulders. “I thought about you every day, missing you like crazy.” His voice had become husky and suddenly he was kissing her, his mouth demanding, telling her how deep his feelings were.
Jessie gave herself over to him, no longer able to resist her need to be close to him, to feel his solidness and know that he was really there. When he drew away from Jessie, Ray felt a coldness that had nothing to do with the weather.
“Listen, I gotta go for now. There’s something we have to do, but you and I are gonna talk all of this out. I promise.”
“Alright. I’ll be waiting. I don’t care what time it is, come back.”
Ray nodded, kissed her quickly and left.

Chapter Thirteen

Somewhere after five a.m. Frannie called Jessie in tears. Jessie couldn’t understand her because Frannie was crying so hard.
“Ok, Frannie, calm down. What’s wrong?”
“It’s Ray. He’s been shot. He’s in surgery right now.”
A curious numbness set in as Jessie asked, “How bad is it?”
“We really don’t know yet.”
“Which hospital?”
“Memorial.”
“I’m on my way, Frannie.”
“Ok. Thanks.”
“No thanks needed.”
She hung up, took some deep breaths to ward off the impending panic she felt. Now was no time to fall apart. She needed to be strong for Ray and his family. Duke came to her, sensing that Jessie was upset.
“C’mon. Let’s go out.”
His ears perked up at the work “out” and Duke began to prance back and forth from her to the kitchen door while she put her coat on. She took the puppy out, made sure he had food and water and headed for the hospital. The sky was lightening as she parked her Taurus and made her way inside. In the lobby she ran into Fraser and Ray Kowalski.
“How is he?” she asked searching Ben’s face.
“He’s holding his own. I talked to him. He’s in and out. I’m sorry, Jessie, but we have to go. We’ll call to check in when we can.”
Jessie held on to him for a moment longer. “Whatever you and Ray are up to, please be careful. Please?”
Ben nodded and hugged her. Ray gave her a smile and a squeeze. As Jessie watched them run to the parking lot Jessie had the feeling that she wasn’t going to see them for quite some time. Fighting the sadness that thought brought her, Jessie hurried to the elevator. Upstairs on the fourth floor, she found the Vecchio clan. Frannie rushed to Jessie and they embraced.
“Is there any update?” Jessie asked as they released each other.
Shaking her head, Frannie said, “No. Just that the bullet is still in his right lung and they don’t want to attempt surgery because it’s too dangerous.”
“Is he awake?”
“Off and on. The nurse is in there now, but when she comes out you could go in. I know he’ll want to see you.”
“Ok.” Jessie went to sit beside Mrs. Vecchio who was worrying a tissue in her hand.
“Jessica, I’m so glad you’re here.” She gave Jessie a hug and kissed her cheek.
“Oh, Ma, I can’t believe this has happened, but he’s going to be fine. He’s stubborn.”
“He’s just like his father, bullheaded.”
At that moment, a middle-aged nurse came out of Ray’s room which was very close to the waiting room. “He can have one visitor at a time but don’t excite him, please.”
Ma pushed Jessie away gently. “You go. He’ll want to know you’re here.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to go?”
Shaking her head Ma replied, “I was in earlier. Go, Jessica.”
Jessie nodded and rose. She walked the few steps required to reach the door, took a deep breath and stepped inside. She’d expected Ray to be asleep but his eyes were open and he smiled faintly as she came to sit beside the bed. They reached for each other’s hand simultaneously. Jessie held his hand to her cheek. It was cold so she started rubbing it to warm it.
“Are you in a lot of pain?”
“Some. God, I’m glad to see you. You’re a sight for sore eyes.”
Jessie laughed. “I’m sure. I don’t even think I brushed my hair.” She attempted to smooth it down.
Ray squeezed her hand. “You’re beautiful.”
“Stop it,” she said blushing. “Is there anything I can get for you?”
“Just some water.”
Immediately Jessie retrieved the pitcher of ice water, poured some in a cup and helped him drink it.
“That’s better.”
“You should get some sleep.” Jessie fussed with his blanket, wanting to make sure he was warm enough. “But when you feel up to it, I’d like to hear how all of this came about.”
Ray captured one of her hands again. “Jess, sit still, ok? I can tell you what started it all in one word; Fraser.”
“Ben?” was Jessie’s confused reply. “I don’t get it.”
Ray started coughing and Jessie gave him more water. The spasms subsided and Ray lay back against the pillow, his eyes closed.
“Rest, Ray, please. We’ll talk later.”
“On one condition; you stay with me.” His fingers tightened around hers. He was becoming groggy, not surprising since he hadn’t been out of surgery very long. His body had sustained a lot of damage and he needed time to heal. He was just being stubborn, forcing himself to stay awake to talk to her.
“Ok. I’ll stay, but you have to go to sleep. You’re as bad as a baby who fights going to sleep.”
Ray gave her a lopsided smile, nodded slightly and drifted into slumber, apparently satisfied that she would stay. Jessie kept holding Ray’s hand, thankful that she could do so again but worried about the bullet they couldn’t get out. She wondered what the prognosis was for something like that. Ben had a bullet lodged in his back and seemed to be fine now, but a bullet in the lung was a different animal.
She stayed with Ray for fifteen minutes and then decided she should go to the waiting room so someone else could visit him. As she stepped out of the room, the emotions she hadn’t allowed herself to feel surfaced. Hot tears pricked her eyes. Snatching a couple of tissues from a table in the waiting room, Jessie sat, pressing them to her eyes as all of her worry poured forth. She felt an arm around her shoulders and knew that it was Ray’s mother. The older woman drew her close, rocking Jessie gently.
“That’s ok, Jessica. Let it out. You’ll feel better.” Ma Vecchio comforted Jessie until she was able to regain her composure.
“Thank you.”
“Do you feel better?”
“Yeah,” Jessie said with a small smile. “Do you know what happened? Ray said that Ben started it all.”
Ma chuckled. “Oh yes. I gave that boy a big kiss and hug for bringing my Raymundo back to us, even though he didn’t mean to do it.”
Frannie appeared. She’d gone to the cafeteria for coffee. Between her and Mrs. Vecchio they filled Jessie in on how Fraser had accidentally blown Ray’s cover. Jessie understood all too well how tenuous the situation must have been but couldn’t help to see the humor in it as well.
Ray’s sister also told her about the two Rays initial animosity towards each other. Jessie’s heart went out to Stan as they were calling him now, knowing he had to be feeling displaced. She couldn’t imagine what that would be like. Ray also must have been shell-shocked even though coming home was certainly a pleasant experience. She could understand why tensions would have been running high.
“Where were Ray and Ben going?”
“They’re going after the arms dealer, Muldoon. They went to intercept him and his goons at an airport, Trumble Field or something like that.”
A strong foreboding took hold of Jessie. Frannie saw the look of sadness that crossed her face.
“What is it?”
“Where is Muldoon heading?”
Frannie thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I have to get back to work. I’ll find out and let you know.”
“Ok.”
Frannie slipped into Ray’s room. She hated seeing her big brother hooked up to IV’s and other machines. He was sleeping soundly and she didn’t disturb him.
“I love you, bro. I’ll be back tonight,” she whispered. In the waiting room, she kissed her mother and Jessie goodbye and left for the 27th. She wasn’t sure how but she wanted to help bring this guy down.

The next day Ray’s surgeon decided that his condition had improved enough to move him to a different unit. He was upgraded from critical to stable. Ray continued to have coughing fits because the bullet was irritating his lung. Dr. Warner told him that eventually his body would form scar tissue around the bullet holding it still. In the meantime Ray informed the doctor that it was a real pain in the ass.
Despite the pain he was experiencing, Ray was restless, worrying about how this case was going. He became determined to leave the next day. No one could dissuade him from the decision and Jessie finally agreed to bring him fresh clothes. Since he was on painkillers Jessie drove him. She went back to work as well, glad that she could keep an eye on Ray to make sure he didn’t overdo it.
Once Ray figured out that the Bolt family was in on the deal with Muldoon, the lieutenant alerted Inspector Thatcher who had gone to Canada along with Constable Turnbull to aid in capturing Muldoon. When Ray informed Jessie that Fraser and Stan had headed to Canada she knew that her premonition was on target.
“I don’t think we’re going to see Ben or Stan for a while. I think once all of this is over that Ben is going to stay. He’s been so homesick lately.”
It was evening and they were seated on the sofa, Duke curled up on the floor at Jessie’s feet.
Ray held her. “I think you’re probably right. He deserves to go home, to be happy where he wants to be. I’m gonna miss him like hell again, though. He’s become like a brother to me.”
Jessie hugged him gently, mindful of his injuries. “I know. Me, too. I’m going to miss Stan, too.”
Ray stiffened in her arms. “You and him got close, huh?”
Smiling Jessie replied, “Yeah, like Fraser and me. You have nothing to be jealous about, Ray. Nothing at all.”
“Good.” He shifted so he could see her face. “Jess, I know things have been crazy the past few days and actually this whole past year, too. Being away for so long has taught me some things. I’m not gonna take things for granted anymore, like my family and friends. They’re the most important thing to me. Frannie once told me that I was afraid to take chances and she was right. But I’m not afraid any more, Jess. I don’t ever want to be without you again.”
He reached into his suit jacket withdrawing a black velvet ring box. Ray opened the lid and the diamond solitaire sparkled in the light. “Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife, Jessica Marie Samuels?”
In openmouthed shock Jessie’s gaze alternated between the ring box and Ray’s serious hazel eyes. Locating her voice she asked, “You’re serious?”
Ray nodded, his eyes holding hers. “I’ve never been more serious, Jess.”
A burst of love broke free inside her chest. She cupped his face, kissing him tenderly.
“Yes, I’ll marry you. I love you so much,” she said against his mouth. “I would be proud to be Mrs. Raymond Vecchio.”
Ray leaned his forehead against hers, the smile she loved curving his mouth. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He kissed her long and thoroughly. Holding her tightly, he didn’t care about the pain in his chest. Plucking the ring from its box, Ray lifted her left hand. The entire time he slid the ring on Jessie’s third finger he looked into her eyes.
Happy tears welled up in Jessie’s eyes. “It’s beautiful, Ray.”
“Not as beautiful as you.”
“You know, when you look at me that way I can almost believe it.”
“Believe it.”

Chapter Fourteen

Their wedding took place in June at St. Michael’s Church where the Vecchio family attended services. Lieutenant Welsh gave the bride away, Father Bayan officiating. Frannie made a beautiful maid of honor even if her skirt was a little short and Elaine Vespres had agreed to be a bridesmaid. Ben and Stan were able to make is as they’d returned from their adventure in the snowy outreaches of Canada. The Mountie was very handsome in his tux as he stood up as Ray’s best man. At Mrs. Vecchio’s request Ray had asked Tony to be a groomsman. Dief and Duke attended the reception and were quite well behaved as long as they were being fed. Duke had grown, now as large as Dief and the two made quite a stunning pair.
Ben was required to return to Canada in a few days so he was glad to have the time to visit with everyone before he left for his posting. Stan was keeping his job at the 27th only as himself now since Ray had been promoted to lieutenant of the 32nd division. The promotion was due in large part to the undercover work he’d done in Las Vegas and his assistance on the Muldoon case.
Being in charge was going to suit him he decided, especially since the only partner he’d ever gotten along with since Lori was heading back to Canada. Plus, as a lieutenant he wouldn’t be required to perform any undercover work. He’d leave that to the single guys from now on.
Frannie was extremely pleased that she didn’t have to pretend Stan was her brother any longer and Ray and Jessie’s wedding had given her the idea to lay some bait of her own. It had worked for Jessie so there must be something to it, right?
Ray and Jessie were leaving for Hawaii straight from the reception so Ben said his goodbye to Ray and Jessie in private corner of the banquet hall.
Jessie took Ben’s hand like she always did and looked into the azure gaze that she’d gotten to know so well. “You know, I missed you so much while you were gone and it’s been so good to have you here again. I want to thank you for being such a good friend to me and for being in our wedding. I’m going to miss you like crazy, Ben. Who am I going to play chess with?” She laughed with tears in her eyes.
Ben hugged her close, a lump in his own throat. “I’m going to miss you, Jessie. You’ve been a good friend to me, too.”
Jessie released him and Ray and Ben gave each other a manly hug. “Benny, you’d better call or write or send smoke signals-whatever you have to do. It’s not gonna be the same without you here sniffing and tasting stuff. I’m gonna miss you like hell,” Ray told him with a grin.
Ben smiled back at the man who had become his brother. “I’ll miss you, too, Ray, but I will be in touch.”
As Ray met Ben’s direct look, he heard the echo of a long ago goodbye. “As a friend, Benny?”
“Yeah, Ray. As a friend.”
The two men hugged one more time before Ray and Jessie started making their way around the room to say their farewells to everyone. Ben watched two of his best friends climb into a black stretch limo and ride away to start their future together. He smiled to himself as he remembered how it had all started and his part in it. Stan came up behind him and clapped him on the shoulder.
“Hey, buddy. They seem really happy, huh?”
Ben turned and smiled at Stan. “Yes, Ray, they do.”
“I’m glad it all worked out for them, especially Jessie. She’s a class act.”
“She sure is.”
Stan laughed. “How long do you think before they have a kid?”
“Oh, probably not long.”
Frannie interrupted their conversation to ask Stan to dance. Ben smiled as Stan took her hand and followed Frannie, looking back at his Canadian brother with a wink.
Looking down at Dief Ben said, “That could be the next wedding we attend, you know.”
Dief gave a bark of agreement.

Stan and Jessie stayed fast friends and still traded coffee for dirty jokes at the 27th since Jessie had decided to keep working. The place was in her blood and she would have missed it too much had she quit. Puttering around the house by herself all day didn’t appeal to her at all. Ray and Stan’s relationship had grown, too, with Stan being a regular at Ray and Jessie’s house. Frannie and Stan had been dating ever since Ray and Jessie’s wedding and seemed to be doing well together. Ray and Jessie’s house became a hangout for several of the cops at the 27th and a few from Ray’s new precinct. Harding Welsh was always willing to give the new lieutenant advice. Jack Huey and Tom Dewey’s comedy act did fairly well and they came over when they weren’t performing or practicing.
Ray was always glad to see his buddies. Somehow a regular poker night on Fridays had developed without any official decision to do so. Good times ensued and laughter rang through the small Cape Cod. Fraser might be back home in Canada but he was in the memory of everyone who had worked with him at the 27th. Many conversations revolved around the Mountie and the time he’d spent in Chicago. Everyone had a story to tell about him and no one minded if a story was repeated.
Stan had been given an official partner. Welsh and he had argued about it but eventually Harding had told him that he could accept it, transfer, or quit. Stan had stayed. He’d come to love the 27th and didn’t want to be transferred anywhere else. And quit? What else was he going to do but be a cop? His new partner turned out to be a rookie detective who was a computer genius. Stan took Johnny Roberts under his wing and the “kid” as he was called was only too glad to accept Stan’s guidance.
Fraser kept his word, calling from time to time when he was near a phone and writing letters describing his experiences out in the wilderness. At night when he was alone, his memories of Chicago and everyone there kept him company. There were times when he missed the city greatly, and working with both of his former partners even more so, but he was happiest out in the frigid, wild places of the Northwest Territories. Ben planned to visit Chicago during his spring break the following year and was looking forward to seeing everyone. Diefenbaker was still Fraser’s constant companion and the leader of his sled dog team. When he was in town, however, Fraser made sure to buy the wolf some junk food which he doled out sparingly to the lupine.
October brought cold fall temperatures and the bitter winds for which Chicago was nicknamed. One afternoon Stan brought Jessie a fax, winked at her and headed back the way he came. Jessie looked down, recognizing her husband’s bold handwriting.
Hey, sexy. Just checking on you and the bambino. Call me when you get a chance.
All my love, you know who.
THE END

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 16.03.2010

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