The summer had sadly come to an end. I prepared myself for yet another dull school year, only this time I had something to look forward to. I couldn’t get much sleep the night before, her word’s still echo in my mind, “I hope we get some classes together, I like your company”. Her innocent smile was the dream topping to those simple yet so promising words.
My alarm clock had been buzzing for the past thirty minutes, hitting the snooze button each time to give me that extra ten minutes of long needed sleep. I finally gathered the momentum to get out of bed and start getting ready for school. Brushing my teeth like any other day, I still wondered what she could have meant by those words. “Does she like me enough to go out with me?” I wondered as finished brushing.
“Bye mum” I yelled as I ran out to get on my bike and begin my journey. It was a bit chilly that morning so took with me my favorite blue scarf, which was strangely the only gift from my grandmother which I actually liked and used. As I was locking my bike I started to see all the familiar faces again, all those people I will see and most probably not speak to though the whole year. “Good morning Mr. Radcliff”. Good morning to you Joshua how was your summer?”. “Was fantastic, I wish it didn’t end so fast.” “Well all things must come to an end and this is your final year, I am sure you will find it more interesting than the others especially the lovely math problems I have installed for you kids this year.” He said walking off with smile on his face. Mr. Radcliff was pretty nice guy when it came to learning, he would help us and guide us instead of pushing us beyond our own personal limitations.
Walking in the hall on the first day of my final year felt actually quite good, looking at the younger students and knowing that I am a senior, finally! “Hey Joshua” she said as she appeared from nowhere in front of me catching me by surprise. “Em... hi Maria, Iii... em, didn’t see you there, how are you doing?” I replied as my heart started beating like a drum. “I’m fine, just getting used to the new school and people, feels weird since I hardly know anyone here yet.” “Well you do know me I guess” I answered with a massive smile on my face.” “Heh I guess so…” she answered whilst staring into my eyes, I thought to myself okay now is the time to ask her, its now or never, “Maria you want to hang out after school?”. “Yea sure we could go for a walk in the park if you want” she said as the butterflies in my stomach had started to parade.
“Sure, sure I’d love to”, ‘Alright catch you later” she said as she walked off to find her class. I was on top of the world, for some unknown to me reason this girl really wants to hang out with me, I must be dreaming or something I thought as I stepped into my first class of the senior year.
During the ever so pleasant history class I came to the conclusion that at recess I would go find her and arrange the time of our meeting. I stood outside chatting away with my mates about last nights party when I spotted her across the yard, she was talking to Matt Brown, the so called “school hunk”, I thought oh my God if she starts hanging out with him then I definitely don’t stand a chance to get with her since he was born perfect and I was born normal. “Look Josh, your friend is talking with Matt over there” Steve said. “Yeah so?”, ‘He’s definitely going to try and hit on her since she doesn’t know his reputation yet”.
Steve always called things as he saw them and I knew he was right, I knew I had go and stop Matt from ruining my plan, so I flicked my cigarette and gathered the strength to go over there and ask her for a time when to meet up. I walked across the yard, the butterflies where back in full motion but I couldn’t let that stop me now, as I got closer she looked at me and smiled that was all the reassurance I needed to utter the words I had to say. “Hi again Maria” I said, “Hey Josh what’s up?” she asked,” Can you come over here a sec I want to speak with you”. I questioned her about her conversation with Matt and filled her in on what type of person he is so as to warn her, she didn’t like that, I guess she felt the jealousy oozing from my mouth. She answered “I’m a big girl I know what i am doing you don’t have to worry”, I guess she got the message about Matt even before I told her about him. We chatted for a bit till the bell rang and just then I asked her to meet me at five o’clock in the park that afternoon, to my joy she said “ I will see you there”, those words gave me such a magical feeling, I was once again on top of the world.
Time flew after that, it was already time to go home. I was really looking forward to that meeting so I started doing my homework the moment I got in the house so as to have the whole day free for her. With twenty minutes to go I begun riding my bike to the park, I thought I will get there before her, but it seems she was already there and not alone. She was sitting under a tree with Matt and his friends, as I got closer I saw they were passing some bag amongst them. I was shocked by this, “She likes to drink?” I thought to myself, “What do I do now?” Her smile once again greeted me from afar as I said hello to the rest of the guys there. “Sit Josh, you want a sip?” Matt asked me as he held the wrapped bottle offering it to me. “No thanks, I don’t drink” I replied and looked at Maria. She starred at me for while and said to the guys she will see them later as she grabbed me by the arm and dragged me away. It’s as she instantly knew i didn’t want to be there with them. We started walking and asking each other questions about school, friends, likes and even the weather, it felt so good just talking about anything with her. Time passed quickly, she said she had to go home soon so yet again brewed the courage to ask her if I could walk her home which she did not decline. She lived about fifteen minutes walk from the park and not that far from my own house. I couldn’t help myself from looking into her glowing blue eyes, she looked like an angel, it was hard not stare. “Did you have fun today?” she asked me as we stood at her front gate, “Lots of fun” I replied with a knot twisting in my stomach.
She thanked me with a quick kiss on the cheek and a bye as she rushed inside her house. As I walked back home with a fluttering heart I remembered that I had left my bike in the park, I quickly realized that I left it there unattended and unlocked, so I rushed as fast as my legs would let me. When I arrived it was already gone, stolen by someone, that annoyed me and to make things even worse it was just about ready to rain. Soaked and drenched I made it back home, my mum yelling about the bike and how I was soaking wet, my dad complaining how my brain is on top of my head and not in it and how I could leave the house on the bike and come back without it. I didn’t care a bit; to me it was all worth it even when I walking in the rain to get to home all I could think of was her smile, its amazing what a smile can do.
The next day and for the following month I had to walk back and forth to school every day but again my mind was elsewhere, nothing could deviate my thoughts from her. Every single day we would catch each other in the halls or in the yard and talk upon endless subjects. Unfortunately we didn’t have any classes together which made my quest to see more of her harder.
Week after week we would meet at the park and just talk about what’s happening in our lives and trying to know each other when one day she asked me the big question. “Josh do you have a girlfriend?” I quickly replied no to her and asked if she had a boyfriend, she said “No, not really”. I pondered that day what she meant by not really, did it mean she is seeing someone or maybe want to be with someone? I had to find out, to make sure I had a clean path to make my move. On a cold mid October day as we was walking back from school I asked her for her number, the butterflies where at it again, I was so anxious to ask her for her number. I noticed she wrapped her arms around her, maybe she’s cold I thought, so I offered to give her my jacket and scarf but she didn’t accept at first so I just covered her with my jacket. As she thanked me she looked into my eyes with that golden smile and turned away. Just before we turned the corner to her house I asked for her number and she gave it to me, I quickly jotted it down on my hand and told her I would give her a call later on. She gave me the usual kiss on the cheek and thanks and gave me my jacket back. Once she got inside I got a sudden energy burst, I was overflowing with it, jumping and running all the way back home.
That night we had heavy rainfall and the weatherman said that a storm would be crossing our town within the next few days. I saw this as the perfect opportunity to ask her if she wanted to come round tomorrow night and watch a movie at my house. After my homework I gave her a call, her mother answered the phone and told me that she had left the house some minutes ago with a friend. This troubled me and made me see things thought the eyes of jealousy, thinking what friend is she with? Is it a girlfriend? Did she meet someone else? So I quickly ended the call and asked her to give Maria the message that I called.
I didn’t hear from her that night at all. The next morning at school I went to find her and to ask what she did yesterday and most importantly who was the mystery friend she was with. I couldn’t seem to find her anywhere, so I asked one of her teachers if she had come to school today, the teacher said that her mother called and said she wasn’t feeling well enough to come to school. After school I gave her another ring to see if she is feeling alright, most probably she must have caught a cold from yesterday I thought. Her father answered the phone and told me that she is sleeping at the moment due to that she is not well. It really troubled me that she seemed fine yesterday when I was with her and even more that she left her house to go out after that but now she is not even well enough to talk on the phone. I left my phone number with her dad and asked for him to tell her to give me a call when she’s feeling better.
The two following days it rained cats and dogs outside, a chilling wind blowing the autumn leaves everywhere so I couldn’t go see her and she still had yet to ring me back. I started worrying, maybe I did something wrong and she’s avoiding me or something had happened, I had to find out who she was with later that day, the missing link to this mystery. I started thinking of ways to figure out what happened that day when I remembered that Steve’s cousin Mario lives on the same road as she does, maybe he saw something. So I called up Steve and in turn he called Mario to find out. As I wait for Steve’s call the doorbell rings and surprisingly enough it was Maria at the door, I was baffled by her presence here and even more too how she knew where I lived! We go up to my room and I ask her what happened that day she said that Matt came and picked her up and they went for a drive with his car.
Blood suddenly rushed to my head, jealousy bug overreacting again but I didn’t show it and calmly asked her what she is doing here if she was supposedly sick. “I wasn’t sick, well I ain't sick, I was grounded cause I got home drunk and late and was throwing up all morning that’s why I couldn’t come to school” she explained to me. I asked her why she got drunk with Matt and she replied with a simple and firm answer “Cause I like it” that made me jump the gun and ask her straight out “Do you like Matt as well?” she paused for a bit and answered with “I like him as a friend to hang out but not anything more then that, why do you care anyway?” she asks me with a irritated tone of voice.
“I was just wondering…” I replied and quickly changed the subject which she didn’t seem to mind. We talked for a bit and then she said I have to go now because her parents would be start searching the streets for her. I said to her “I will walk you home but she denied it repeatedly. At the front door we looked at each other for a while without speaking, this fed the butterflies with tremendous vigor. “Well ill see you at school I guess” she said as I interrupted her saying “If you ever need someone to talk with I will always be here”. She smiled and kissed me on the lips for about two seconds, my feet started to float and my heart was about to explode. “Thank you for being a nice guy” she said, I was speechless due to what had just happened, she turns around and waves goodbye to me, as she walks out the gate I manage to mumble a bye which I don’t think she heard and see her walk off smiling at she takes a last look at me. I ran to my room, closed the door and jumped on the bed where I laid in perfect happiness for an hour. I was mind blown by what has just happened and perfectly assured that she does like me more then a friend. I was defiantly in love with this girl.
“Joshua, phone for you, its Steve” my mother yelled from downstairs, I rushed to get it to see what he had found out and if she actually was telling the truth about that night, Steve’s cousin saw them together outside her house as he was dropping her off, although he didn’t say anything about her being in a drunken state, I thought maybe its not something he noticed, even though she said to me she was pretty sick the following morning from the drinking. I didn’t care for any of the details, I was still shook up by her actions towards me and that she does really like me. Wow what a feeling it is to be in love with someone, you are so happy that even the pain from stubbing your toe on the dresser seems to last only an instant, it still hurt like hell but I didn’t care for anything else apart from Maria and her smile.
As the weatherman said the storm was here, pouring down and crackling the sky with booms of thunder, illuminating the night. I stared out of my window into street, looking at the rain fall upon the cars and trees wondering what she was doing, what she was thinking. I’ll give her a ring and see how she is I thought. Her mother answered the phone quite fast and anxiously asked who it was, I said “Its Joshua Ms. Tobias, could I speak with Maria please?” “She left the house and hasn’t come back yet, if you hear from her please let us know…” she said and I asked her if something was wrong when she said that they had a big argument and she stormed out of the house, I told her that she was at my house before and was alright, that soothed her worries a bit but she still pleaded that I contact her if I speak with her again. “What’s going on with Maria, where did she go if she didn’t go home after she left here?” I asked myself. I hope nothing has gone wrong, I hope she is alright.
The following morning at school I was completely spaced out of class, the English teacher asked me if could read the passage on page 47 and I replied with”Yes I can read” and spaced out again blanking him and the whole class, thinking where she could be. After school I decided to go to her house and see if her parents had heard from her or if she was already home, would be great to get to the bottom of this here and now. Arriving at her house I hear cries from inside, I reluctantly ring the door bell and wait. Her father opens the door, his eyes sore and red, I ask “Hi Mr. Tobias is Maria home?” he says come inside boy. I enter and I see her family in tears, I am wondering “What’s going on? What has happened?” Her father sits me down and delivers the devastating news that Maria was in car accident last night, she died on the way to the hospital. Time froze at that point, my heart seemed to stop beating, and I was crushed by what my ears had just heard. I got up, said i am sorry and run out the door crying. I could not believe what I had just heard, it couldn’t be true, it can’t be so.
I rushed to the hospital and asked a nurse there if a young girl died last night from a car accident. She told me to wait for the doctor to come. I sat crying in the hall not accepting what I just found out, my heart felt like it was being strangulated by something that wouldn’t let go. The doctor came and explained to me that Maria and Matt had both been in a fatal car accident due to drinking and driving. The car swerved off the road and into a pole smashing the car to a pile of scrap metal, they where doing double the allowed speed limit. He also told me that the young girl was in the early stages of pregnancy. The news was overwhelming, it shattered my heart and soul instantly, and severed every piece of joy I had. I walked home in the rain, not caring for anything just mourning her, missing her, thinking of her.
At her funeral we gathered round her burial place, her family in sorrow, crying, grieving with bitterness that they lost their child at such a young age, the worst pain imaginable to a parent. I was depressed myself but seeing her family made me feel the pain even more. I regret not insisting on walking her home that day, I regret not chasing after her even though I knew something didn’t feel right, I regret not seeing her before she died, I regret not taking hold of the present that I had with her, what I do not regret is loving her and that is why I shall never forget her. Rainfall now will never be the same for me; it will always remind me of her and her beautiful eternal smile.
Impressum
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 27.09.2009
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