Prologue,


I love you. That was what my best friend is saying to me on my 17th birthday. Alexander riverston. Tall 6 foot 3, black long/short hair that hangs in his eyes. Grey eyes that menmorize you the second you look at them and my best friend since we were 14 months year olds. Funny how life works. I being only 5 foot 2 long black hair and bangs that cover my blue/grey eyes, am surprised to hear the words leave his perfectly shaped lips.
“What are you talking about?” I look up at him wishing that he shakes his head a says forget about it. Yet I am wrong again. “I’m talking about liking you ever since 5th grade.” He looks at me with a hopeful expression. I backed away slowly.
“Do you remember that promise we made in like 5th grade?” He looks at me with sadness in his eyes. “Um yes.” He answers.
“We promised not to fall in love with each other” I looked at him. He shakes his head and says with so much passion in his voice.
“Love changes people and promises.


1 year ago. The start of 12th grade


“Aubrey! Alexander! Wake up! NOW!” I rub my eyes and squint towards my door to find my older brother and his 2 idiotic friends at my doorway. I give him a death glare when I see my clock. 6 am. He smiles and closes the door. I let out a small moan of anger and toss my sheets aside. Alexander is in his sleeping bag next to my bed still sleeping while the rest of my room is neat and tidy. I stretch and pad over to my closet grabbing my hairtye and brush from my desk on the way. I close the door after me and jump into the shower blindly. A few minutes later I come out of the shower wrapped in my towel. I run to my closet and take out my first day outfit still from its shopping bag. I slip on the flowy white summer dress and tug on my strapped sandals. I walk out to my bedroom where I hear Alexander in the shower. I walk over to my bed and it and collect Alexander’s things and put them in his side of the closet. I skip to my desk and stare at my reflection. I pick up my brush and brush out my hair, until it shines and hangs perfectly straight to my waist. I blow out my bangs and start on my makeup. Simple mascara some pale pink lipstick and some light eyeshade. I slip on my favorite and lucky amulet, Alexander gave it to me on my 10th birthday, my favorite ring and get up. I look over to Alexander who was staring at me with our book bags in hands. “Oh see I always pick out cute outfits. You look awesome.” I gush. He in dark jeans and converse with a dark blue shirt his hair moussouled by him combing it by his fingers. He blushes lightly and I laugh. We walk out of my room me shutting the door behind me and walk downstairs. I go over to the fridge and pull out 2 apples. Tossing one to Alex. He catches it as my brother and his idiotic friends Brady and Chris come into the kitchen. Aden starts talking to Alex about football tryouts. I let out a little giggle when Aden asks him to try out. They look at me. “What? I mean come on. Is not like you’re actually considering liking playing football?” I burst into a fit of giggles when I see their faces though I sober up in a second. They all look at me as if I just murdered someone and laughed about it. 4 shocked faces stared at me while I try to avoid their eyes. Aden starts speaking while I walk away to grab my dance bag. I walk into our kitchen to remind Aden his schedule. “Aden doesn’t forget that I have hip hop class at 4 then ballet at 7 okay. Just order out and please don’t break the house.” I look around the kitchen looking for my keys. He scowls. “Okay. Gesh what are you. My mom?” I wince and the memory of the crash comes to mind. “No. our moms dead.” I wipe angrily at a tear and storm outside slamming the front door and getting into my jeep. Slamming the door behind me and pulling out of the driveway. Alex will drive to school with Chris. The memory of the crash replays in my mind and I wipe frustrated at the tears falling “god damn It.!” I pound the steering wheel and pull over. I check my watch and see that it is 6 40. I take out my book bag and wipe away my face. I reply my makeup and take a deep breath as I drive the rest of the way to school. I park and make my way to my locker. I feel someone open the locker next to me and I find Alexander putting his bag in. “hey I’m sorry I stormed out like that I just I was upset.” I looked over to him smiling and I smile back at him. He pulls me into a hug and I feel him kiss the top of my head. I wrap my hands on his torso and after a moment pull away.
The day passed in such a blur its funny. I took notes and met Alexander at the football field. “Okay soooo you’re going to play that?” I look up at him and he wraps his arm around my shoulders. He smiles and laughs lightly, “yes. Yes I am and you’re coming to all the games no matter if you don’t want to or if you don’t understand the game.” I pout and he laughs. I look over and see Chris jog over. I stiffen, “hey Aubrey. I’m sorry about the comment this morning I didn’t mean it like that I really am sorry.” He pouts and looks at me. I smile and hug him with one arm because Alexander still had me in a hug. I smile and let go of both of them and check my watch. “Well my dance classes were canceled today so I’m your ride home so. I’ll be doing homework up in the bleachers” I walk up the bleachers and plop myself down on the first bench. I pull out my independent reading book. Nineteen minutes by Jodi picolt. As they practice the cheerleading squad came out to practice. I looked up and winced when I saw half of them. I took out my iPod and plugged in firelight love we had before. 15 minutes later I feel someone in front of me. I look up to see the blonde head cheerleader in front of me with three of her minions trailing behind her. “Um hello?” She looks at me head from toe and grabs my hand. She pulls me down while protest. “Soooo show us what you got.” She smiles at me; it kind of reminds me of a crocodile smile before he chomps on his prey. I shake my head and start to walk away when she pulls my had and tugs me back down. She pouts. “We know you do dance so and anyway every footballs players girlfriend have to be on the team.” I laugh. “Were not dating. Gosh that’s funny.” I look up and see Alexander jogging over. He pulls me aside.” Hey you have to try out. I purposely called your dance class, I might have talked to the cheerleaders and you might be on the team. I mean how much fun that would be! We go to games together. Please do it for me.” He looks at me those eyes it’s hard not to nod. “You owe me, Alexander. I’m serious.” I laugh as I walk away. He laughs and I swear he mutters something else about this being a good show. I walk over and nod at them.” Okay but I mean no short outfits.” They laugh as they hand me a uniform and 2 girls grab my elbows leading me to the changing room. I check my watch and scramble out of their grasp. “ um hey well we have like 2 minutes left so I guess I’ll see you girls tomorrow at practice. I got to go I’m alexs ride yeah.” I start to walk away when they yell out to me.” We’ll see you at the lunchroom.” I wince and run and get my book bag and waits for Alex in the car.

0
Next day
0


I wake up late in the morning and throw on some black shorts and a red tank top. I speed to school and it turns out that I got there early. As I am putting my things away in my locker the cheerleader Brenna came over plucked the uniform out of my locker and closed the door she grabbed my elbow and herded me toward the bathroom. I chuckle and say” pushy aren’t we.” She sighs and pushes me into the bathroom. “Okay so all cheerleaders have to wear the uniforms on the day after tryouts so people knows who is on the team and who is not.” She gives me the uniform and looks me in the eye “You’re pretty. I’ll help you with your makeup and hair.” I just wince at the thought of all that makeup on me. I hesitate as I put on the skirt. I sigh and put on the rest of the uniforms. I tug on the shirt witch rest right on mid torso and the skirt that barely hides my but in my definition. I sigh and slip my black flats back on. I walk out and look at myself. The uniform is red and black. I look ridiculous. My hair is down as always and I had a light dark purple eye shadow. I look over to Brenna and she comes over and removes my eye shadow “um Brenna I don’t want a lot of makeup. Actually I wouldn’t want makeup but you are forcing me so please make it a small reasonable amount.” and added mascara. And a few minutes later she smirks and I turn to look at myself in the mirror. The girl that looks back at me is beautiful and I see her mouth pull into a small smile, not too much makeup. No lipstick, some lip gloss a little eyeshadow. When we hear the first bell Brenna takes my arm and we walk out of the bathroom together. We walk down the hallway and she waves and opens her classroom door. I walk 2 classrooms down and open the door. I walk in and avoid all the stares that get pointed at me and sit in my seat. I’m about to take my independent reading book out when Alexander comes in. he look around the classroom doesn’t notice me but when he realizes that I was right here her looks at me. I smirk and wave. “Hey. Aubrey. Okay. Who are you and what having you done with my best friend?” I look up at him and he sits down next to me. “Ha ha...” I laugh sarcastily. “You did this and you owe me.” He laughs and sits down as mrs.baker comes in.

December 1. 4 months later.
0

After cheerleading practice I drop Alex off and drive home. I do my homework and at about 6:30 I tug on jeans and a shirt. I slip downstairs and put on my converse. I walk down to the park wanting to get some fresh air. As I approach the park I see Alex walk in with another cheerleader that has taken the choice of ignoring me. I stop short and realize that Alex hasten told me anything about dating Cynthia I think it is. I start tiptoeing toward them and I see them sitting on the swings. There talking about something and I get closer. I stop when I hear the words leave her mouth. “I want you to stop hanging out with that girl Aubrey auburn whatever her name is. I don’t like her.” I see Alex nod his head and look over to her. “Okay ill call her tonight.” I step back with tears streaming down my face and I step on a twig. They look back and both see me there. Alex starts to get up when I back away while I respond in barely a whisper. “ don’t worry no need to call” before bolting out of the park and half way down madin road I bump into something hard and strong. I fall back on my butt and wipe at the tears in my face. I look up to see Sam Anderson’s football quarterback and my enemy in front of me. I get up and take a deep breath. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” I almost laugh. “I’m fine it’s just I’m fine. Thanks for asking” I add hastily before attempting to walk away. He grabs my arm and pulls me in front of him. “No you’re not okay you are crying and I know were not good friends but I would like to help. Come on in. I’ll make some hot Chocó.” I shrug and follow him too tired to protest. I walk into his house and plop onto his couch. 10 min later the story was out and I was sobbing against Sam’s chest while he holds me in his arms. I fall asleep and next thing I know were walking up my sidewalk and he’s knocking on the door. I shake my head and jump off his hold. Grabbing my key from my pocket. Opening the door and look back at him. “Yeah. Tanks for tonight I needed some letting looses and getting I all out.” He shrugs “nah it was fun. I’m glad you feel better now. Soooo yeah. I guess we’ll be hanging out tomorrow. I look at him and question” um don’t we hate each other?” he chuckles. “You tell me.” Before he pulls me into a hug and walks down my driveway calling goodnight over his shoulder. I close the front door and immediately face to Chris. He frowns “you just do what I think you did with Sam?” I burst out laughing realizing if I got intimate with Sam. “Um no… we were talking.” Chris nods. I pat his head and walk upstairs.
2 weeks later.

Everyday at lunch, in class in the hallways, I avoided Alex as much as possible. I stayed close to Sam. I always go glances from Alex and he always looked mad. His eyes were hard, cold. Empty. This morning I woke up feeling sick but I knew it wasn’t my monthly friend because she visited 2 weeks ago. But not sick as in throw up and head ack but like I felt something bad was going to happen. I shaked my head and put on my baby doll shirt, my dark skinny jeans my black flats and my hair as normal. I grabbed my backpack and got in the car. When I saw Sam pass my street in his jeep and honked I pulled out and followed behind. The morning went fine until lunch came rolling by. I look around my table and see everyone talking and laughing. I look up next to me to see Sam looking down at me. I smile and he smiles back. He turns his head and starts talking to Trevor about last week’s football game. I fiddle with my smoothie cup and take off the cap. I take a sip when I feel a presence at my side and the table freeze. I look at all of them and I then look up to see Alex standing next to me. “Come on Aubrey. I know you’re mad. But I dint know you were so desperate for a friend that you would go to” he looks over Sam “him” he spat out the last word like it was venom. I feel Sam get up next to me and I get up also. Before I can speak Sam speaks up. “ Don’t talk about her that way. She didn’t find me I found her and by the way she a way better friend than you. Anyone would be happy to be her friend n need for her to be desperate.” Alex face turns red and looks at me. “Aubrey. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you” we hear Sam scoff “I’m sorry to say but I thought you could do better than him my gosh. Anyway I’m really sorry.” He grabs my hand and starts tugging on it. His tug loosens when Sam wraps his and on my waist and tugs me back. Ales turn towards Sam and punch him and before I could even gasp the two boys were onto of each other. I grab Sam’s shirt and tug on him causing him to get up. I push him away from Alex and he stands there looking at me. Alex stands up and storms off. I grab my bag and smoothie and start to follow him before Sam grabs my hand and pulls me back.” Where are you going?” I shrug “to go see if he’s alright” Sams eyes turn unreadable “so you mean after he dumped you in the dirt after being your best friend over the biggest slut of the school. Who right now just insulted you and you didn’t even notice and your going after him?” I nod and before I have time to break his grasp his lips crush on to mine. For a minute I stand there frozen until l I come back to my sense and push away. I grab my smoothie and pour it all over him “how dare you.” I spat before walking out of the cafeteria. I storm out of the cafeteria and run into the bathroom. I could hear the little gasps of shock when I spilled the smoothie on him because who refuses the football captain? I do. Yeah. I just have to remember that. Oh but how right it felt having his arm around my waist, he being protective and his soft lips on top of mine. I sigh and tell myself it’s just a phase. I hear the bell ring so I pull myself together and walk out into the hallway. I walk to my social studies class and sit in my seat. Everyone stares at me. Knowing that each one of my classmates were at the lunchroom when the little accident happened. I took out my textbook and got my binder out. I took out my homework and put it on my desk. I don’t pay attention to anything she says, my head stormed with thoughts. I just lost the only friends I have here. The whole school now knows and I got kissed by the most popular in our school. Instead of kissing back I shove him and pour str- “Aubrey... Hello. Are you okay?” I’m ripped from my thoughts to find Mr. Sanchez in front of my desk with homework in hand. I nod and listen to him praise my work.” Fabulous… it perfect. Ahhh yes soooo understanding but I must say you have an opinion on the civil war.” He keeps ranting on and on while I nod and shake my head when necessary. When he feels it is time to teach his class the bell rings and I bolt out of there as fast as imaginable. I’m walking down the hallway searching my bag for my vocals sheet music when I bump into someone’s locker. Dang why is it that I always bump into things. I get up a shake the dirt of myself. I look up to find myself face to chest with Sam. As he starts talking I feel the blood trailing down from my forehead and next thing I know I’m falling.
“Is she okay?” I hear a deep voice ask
“Yes. My you worry a lot.” I hear s soft giggle. “Are you dating her.?”
I hear the deep voice sigh and mumble softly “not yet.”
I wait until the door opens and I hear someone’s footsteps walk softly away. I open my eyes and find myself in a bright room with posters of teen pregnancy and dieses and other no smoking posters. I blink rapidly a few times and sit up. Ignoring the pounding in my head I sit up and look around to find myself in the nurses office and Alexander at the door and Sam next to me looking at me. I shake my head a little flustered when I see Sam with his eyes bruised and Alexander lip swollen. “Um what happened?” Ugh my head.” Oh my head.” My hand immediately goes to my head. I see Alexander and Sam come around the little cot I am currently laying in. I take my hand away and stand up from the cot ignoring my dizziness. I pick my book bag up and turn to stare at them. “What happened and what are you 2 doing here?” They look at me and blink. “Ugh idiots. Someone answer me or ill be leaving.” I take a threatening step towards the door. They both start looking at each other when Sam starts talking. “You were walking down the hall looking through your bag. You didn’t see me and walk into my locker edge. You cut your forehead right by the hairline and started bleeding. Your bangs cover the cut. Anyway you looked up and said my name and then collapsed. I caught you before you fell and then I picked your book bag up then carried you bride style.” Before Sam can finish Alex started talking. “Yeah he liked sprinting down the hall yelling at everyone and I asked him what happened to you and he said you got hurt.” Sam gave him a look and started talking. “Yup and then I got you here and then you wouldednt wake up. And then last period started and then you slept all through last period and its 3:15 so I came to make sure your okay.” I just stare at them and nod my head. “Thanks for like bringing me to the nurses and um yeah.” I picked my book bag up a looked through it paused when I couldn’t find my sketchpad and sticky notes. Knowing all through social studies I started sketching them and writing little things like... I love them yet hate them. Next to each of their names. I look up and stare both of them down “where’s my notes.” I see Alex smirk and Sam look terrified. Sam pulls put the sketchpad and starts to pass them to me when a few fall and the truth is revealed. Alex picks them up and start reading them” I put my head down in shame and I let the tears fall. I hear Alex “come on Aubrey. I know you like us. What is with you and not giving us a chance? I mean its written right here. “He looks at me and throws the post it notes on the table frustrated. He rakes his hand throe his black hair. I hear him sigh. Impatiently. I cough lightly and wipe the tear away when the nurse walk in. “oh good. You okay.” She walks to me and touches my forehead lightly “ice it tonight hon. and if you don’t fell okay tomorrow like with a migraine just stay home and rest. To avoid worse accidents.” She nods and dismisses me. I grab the notes from the table and grab my coat, scarf and hat. I bolt and as I’m walking away I hear the nurse door open I quicken the pace. I just knew that wouldednt work because 2 minutes later I felt them catch up to me and start walking next to me. Not even out of breath. I walk to my jeep and open the door getting in. I lock the door and as they both pound on my window I drive off. I’m looking out my window and I see alexs car and Sams following mine. I groan and pull up to my drive way. I get out the door and walk up my driveway ignoring the boys as they got out of their cars. I unlock the door and walk in about to close the door when Alex slides in and Sam after him. I grunt and lock the door after me. I ignore then as I walk to the kitchen and find Chris and his idiotic friends in the kitchen. “Hey Chris.” He look s at me questionly as I grab a water bottle from the fridge. “Um why are those 2 following you?” I laugh. “Who?” Chris laughs and shakes his head. “Crazy couk” I giggle as I make my way upstairs and grab my dance class. Wondering how long they will last following me around. I get my dance shoes from my drawer and put my dance cloths on the bed. I go into the bathroom and out my hair up in a French braid and my bangs in my face cover I tug on my black leotard and my black dance skirt. I put on my ballet shoes and swipe my entire make up off and add only a bit of blush and some light pink eye shadow. Some lip gloss and I’m out of the bathroom. I grab my bag and tug my pea coat on and say good bye to Chris as I get into my jeep .Alex and Sam hot on my tail. I park into a spot in dance and take my time walking into class seeing Alex and Sam’s reaction to like 15 girls in the same attire some in pink some in black. Everyone was stretching when I came in. “hey everyone. Mrs.pearson” I nod to my teacher and drop my bag off at my little cubby. I walk out to the bar and start doing exercises. Chris and Alex start after me when Mrs.pearson stops them and pulls both of them with their arms into the changing rooms. Some of the boys that do ballet routines are here with us and are in the corner talking about some touchdown in football. I look over to Alex and Chris and almost burst with laughter when I see them in workout outfits. All the girls were looking at the with interest and with lust should I say. I get off the bar as they walk over to me and stand in front of me. They look at each other.” Okay we need to talk.” Alex nods and says “now” I look at them and nod my head.” Okay talk,” Sam turns a deep crimson red and Alex starts fidgeting.” They look at each other and next thing me new Alex had my feet and Sam grabbed my upper body dragging me outside. I huff as I get outside and they let me go. Alex starts talking but I cut him off. “Okay. I’m sorry but I just I’m so confused right now with the kiss and us being best friends since what 14 months and I miss you Alex and I like being your friend Sam but I can be pressured, I have to figure out my emotions about you. And I know this is off topic but you people playing football ballet helps you so I would really appreciate it if you guys stayed. I look up and see relief on both their faces. “And you have to be friends.” I add. They laugh and both pull me into a huge hug. I laugh as Alex pulls me into a hug and swings me around. We walk in laughing and joking and Alex and Sam stay for the classes. They also stayed for hip hop and ended up signing up for both classes. Before we all left our separate ways I invited them to my house and they followed me home. We walk in joking about Alex and Sam having to lift me and Lisa for this dance number in ballet. We go into the TV room and plop in eclipse the third movie from the twilight saga. I fall asleep half hour into the movie and wake up when I feel someone carrying me up to my bedroom. I open my eyes to see Sam carrying me and Alex opening the door. I whisper half asleep. “Alex” I sense him coming over and I nod “it’s Tuesday. You always sleep over on Tuesday.” I hear him chuckle “okay.”
The next morning it turns out Alex and Sam both stayed over and while we were in my car on the way to school the song I’m into you comes on from Jennifer Lopez and I knew it was awkward considering that the 2 boys that I love were in the car but Alex and I knew the song perfectly for this choir outside of school we quit when we started fighting. I sing the Jennifer Lopez parts while Alex raps the ill wane rap perfectly. I giggle at sams face seeing Alex rap.

(alex)
Hi, I’m Tune, the man on the moon
I live on the beach, get the sand out ya shoes
And all of that changed since I met you
So we can leave that old shit in the restroom
Ok, I’m into you, like you never knew
I’m falling for you baby, I need a parachute
So wet, I need a wetsuit
You’re way too fly, I could be ya jet fuel
Now tell me what you like
I like what you tell me
And if you understand me, you can overwhelm me
It’s too late, it’s too late
Every finish line is the beginning of a new race
Young Money!

[me)
You got me and I could not defend it
I tried but I had to surrender
Your style got me under the spell
Left me no other choice but to get down

It’s too late, it’s too late
It’s too late, it’s too late
You got it, you got it
You got it, you got it

When I look into your eyes, it’s over
You got me hooked with your love controller
I’m trippin’ and I could not get over
I feel lucky like a four leaf clover

I’m into you, I’m into you
I’m into you, yeaaah
I’m into you, I’m into you
I’m into you, yeaaah

Nana nananana nana-na-eh
Nana nananana nana-na-eh

(me)
Listen, now I’m strong baby I bring the fire on
Sharp shooter you can call me the zion
I’m not the one easy to get to
But all that changed, baby when I met you

It’s too late, it’s too late
It’s too late, it’s too late
You got it, you got it
You got it, you got it

When I look into your eyes, it’s over
You got me hooked with your love controller
I’m trippin’ and I could not get over
I feel lucky like a four leaf clover

I’m into you, I’m into you
I’m into you, yeaaah
I’m into you, I’m into you
I’m into you, yeaaah

Nana nananana nana-na-eh
Nana nananana nana-na-eh

I’m not burning and I’m feeling you boy
Get it on if you feeling my world now
I love the way that you moving
And I’m listening to how you grooving
So if you need me, just call on the cruise
We can be whatever that you want in the news
Boy, cause I’m on it and you on it and we on it
So baby just tell me now
(both)
When I look into your eyes, it’s over
You got me hooked with your love controller
I’m trippin’ and I could not get over
I feel lucky like a four leaf clover

I’m into you, I’m into you
I’m into you, yeaaah
I’m into you, I’m into you
I’m into you, yeaaah

Nana nananana nana-na-eh
Nana nananana nana-na-eh

I’m into you, I’m into you
I’m into you, yeaaah baby
I’m into you, I’m into you
I’m into you, yeaaah

By the time we get to school the song is over and I look over to Sam to see him looking at me with a huge smile on his face. I smile politely back. I grab my bag. I hear them both laugh as I skip ahead of them and turn around with my phone out and was taking a video. They smile and start joking around. I back into a person and find Alex’s girlfriend Cynthia. “Oh look who it is.” She smiled cryptically “the shank that stole my boyfriend.”I sigh. Tired of all the drama. “First of all you lost him; second of all he is all yours, third of all u are mistaken on who the shank is here. Because on my account ur the one who as slept with anything that has a –“before I have the chance to finish what I was saying she attempts to slap me but my reflexes are much faster. I grab her wrist and twist it behind her back. I whisper loudly enough so everyone crowding us can hear me. “Don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me don’t mess with me. You’ll just regret it in the long run.” I smirk at her sequel of pain as I twist harder and let go. She falls on the ground and I pick my bag up from the floor. “I don’t have time for this” I walk away hearing Alex and Sam’s footsteps after me.

I chuckle and sigh. This is goona be a great year!

December 23

I wake up early and find that it’s snowing lightly. I tug on my skinny jeans my black converse a deep purple long sleeved shirt and a white undershirt. I brush my hair down and put on some makeup. I walk slowly downstairs and prepare myself some recesses puff cereal. As I sit there in the kitchen I stare out the window at the soft snow slowly accumulating on the dry cold ground. I rinse out my bowl and place it in the dryer. I walk over to the living room and sit down in front of the wall made out of glass. Our parents died 3 years ago on this very day. I look over to the Christmas trees and let the gentle tears fall. My parents loved Christmas. I don’t know how long I was sitting there but after a while I stood up and walked over to the window. As I went to turn around my head went blank and the next thing I know I was on the floor with a thump. I hear Sams and alexs frantic voice arguing while I feel some warm hands pick me up. I feel the cold air hit me immediately and I blink and shiver. I shake my head and rub my eyes and look around my surroundings. We were in the car. “What? Wait I’m awake I’m okay hey” no one payed attention. “Listen to me right now!” I yell a little bit louder. My brother pulls over and parks the car turning over from the car seat. Alex and Sam look at me and then at each other. Sam speaks first.” Um her are you okay. You know with everything.” He looks away. I sigh I guess they knew about my parents. I nod and look over to were Chris is staring out the windshield. “Let’s go home.” He nods and drives us home. We get inside and because of the snow the school called canceling school today. We all sit towards the couch and I see Chris struggling tears and I walk over and hug him tight. “I love you big bro.” I whisper into his ear and after a few minutes I hear him breakdown and cry on my shoulder. He may be my big brother but he’s still not perfect.


December. 24. Winter dance.

Today’s the school dance even though were on winter vacation they always host it in the hotel outside of town. Sam and Alex stayed over and we all wake up late considering that we spent all of last night watching movies and making a mess with popcorn in the TV room. I wake up before everyone and decide to practice my routine for a few hours. I tug on my black dance pants and my black leotard. I tug my hair into a long ponytail, my bangs hanging around my face not being able to do anything about them. I walk downstairs to the dance room and look around it. I walk over to the wall stereo and put on Alice and wonderland by avril lavigne. I close the door and put on the lights. I sit in front of my mirror and stretch. I do my routine over and over again and making my own dance to the song thought of you by Ryan Woodward. I start doing more leaps and I feel the music in my veins. I walk over to my closet and open my old school essays. I remember the time my eighth grade teacher made us write a essay about something we love and I wrote about singing and dancing. Once I find I want to reread it remember the way I felt when I read it out loud and the class just stood there in awe. I jump when I hear the door open and close. I look up to see Alexander staring at me. I smile and he smiles back. Something in me flips flops. Not my heart I hope. He starts talking and just hearing his British accent makes me melt. I am guessing I zoned out because he next time I see him is in front of me a few inches away from my face. “Good morning” he says. I blush and shake my head. What the hell is wrong with me? I back up and scramble to my feet. “Uh good morning” I stammer out. I straiten my skirt and get my position ready at the bar. I’m guessing Alex doesn’t know when to stop so he comes over and positions himself behind me getting ready for the routine in the song thought of you by Ryan Woodward. I shrug and we begin the dance. I forget the closeness of his body next to me and I forget the music I just let the beat the rhythm the dance Corse through my veins and I let my feet guide me to the end. By the end of the song we were both breathless and tired. After the last lift I grab my water bottle and chug the bottle almost dry. I sit on the floor and lay down exhausted. Alex sits down across from me on the other side of the room. We have been sitting there for a while and it was getting pretty silent, that is until Sam burst through the dance room with an excited grin on his face. Alex and I exchange a oh what’s this about face and press our attention towards Sam.


As Sam talks excitedly about what has him all piped up with Alex all I can do is repeat what he just said in my head.
Sam has a date.
A date to the winter dance.
Tonight.
With Annabel.
The cheerleader.
Tonight.
At the moment I was at shock yet deep down I was happy. Hopeful almost. My feelings for Alex were unraveling slowly and impatient like slow syrup gently and gracefully running down the trees waiting for some animal, some lost child to taste the sweetness of it. I jump up abruptly Alex and Sam not noticing and run out of the room upstairs and go through my closet. I go to the back of my closet and get out an old chest full of things my mother gave to me when I was younger. The three of us weren’t planning on going to the dance but now that Sam has a date e we have to go with him. I pull out the exactly what I was looking for and check the watch. 12 in the afternoon. I lay my mother’s dress on the bed and go downstairs for lunch.

By 7 I was showered and wrapped in my towel with my underwear on sitting at my makeup desk. I promised myself I would look hot tonight. I do a smoky eye and some lip gloss. Because of the fact that my skin is perfect without one blemish I’m finished rather quickly. I curl my hair at the ends and put it up in a bun leaving out some small pieces that I curl. I fix my bangs and put in my red diamond headband. I slip on the dress and marvel how perfect it fits me. I look in the mirror smile lightly. The black dress stops just before the knee. Strapless with a red lace ribbon tied right beneath the chest. I slip on the red stilettos and paint my fingernails a blood red. I grab my coat and black purse and walk downstairs.

As I approach the end of the stairs Alexander looks over to me and his jaw opens and hits the floor. Sams date is here and sams talking to her. I smile and Alex jaw drops even lower if that possible. I keep laughing as Chris walks into the room with a huge camera in his hand. “Okay everyone gather round let take some-“he cuts himself off when he looks at me. He looks me down and up and looks over to Alex and Sam “u guys better bring her back the way she is… and u better be next to her the whole night... u hear me.” I grin.” Fine... Take a few pics and let’s go”.

The dance was incredible. We danced we laughed it was a night to remember. By 11 I got tired and went to the balcony of the hotel to get some fresh air. Of course Alex followed me. On the way outside Alex phone rings and he looks down texting. I get to the edge of the balcony and turn around to bump into Alex who was turning off his phone and shoving it into his pocket. As he looked up his face was inches to mine and this time I dint fall back, I leaned forward and let my lips lightly touch his when suddenly I fell his arms tighten around my waist and his lips crush onto mine hungrily. He nips my lower lips asking for entrance in which I grant. I gasp and pull away my breath coming out ragged. I look at him and he stiffens. “Crap” he mutters backing away from me running his hand trough his hair. My heart falls for a second before I realize what to do. I step forward and say the words that have been hidden back for much to long. “I love you Alexander I’ve loved u all al long I was I don’t know scared, I was confused. I came here tonight because of you I dressed this way because of you. I want you to realize that.” I stand there holding my breath and shivering against the harsh cold wind. He turns slowly and looks at me. I look sat him slight tears clouding my vision. I hear him curse under his breath and walks back inside. Immediately I felt a sharp pain go right through my chest. Just by the heart. I walk blindly inside and reach my coat and phone I call a taxi and slip out the door before Sam can notice. As I ride home the tears pour out of my eyes and 20 min later I’m running up the steps and slamming the door. Chris comes running out but push past him I run upstairs and fall on my bed gasping and crying. A few hours I kick off my shoes and fall asleep to the sounds of Chris pounding on my door calling my name over and over.
The next morning I woke up early around 7 and rub my eyes before walking into my bathroom wincing as I see my makeup covered face and hair in a messy bun. My eyes swollen from crying so much last night. Last night. Just thinking about what happens brought a fresh new waterfall falling down my face. I wipe the tears away and make myself stop. I get in the shower and I let the warm water relax my muscles. Half hour later I hop out and tug on some jeans and my long sleeved black shirt. I brush my hair out. I notice that my hair now falls to my butt. I fix my bangs and slip on my converse. I make sure I have my sun glasses on and I grab my black peocoat and walk outside. I walk silently down the stairs hoping no one was awake of course that’s not true. Chris is sitting on the counter cup of coffee in hand newspaper in the other. I squeeze by him and almost get out the door but he hears the door squeak and he calls my name. I curse and walk into the kitchen. He stands up and walks over to me. He takes the sunglasses off and gasps at how swollen my eyes are with the tears already pooling over the rim. “What what happened?” Before I knew it I was spilling everything to him. By the end of the story he had his keys and coat on. A frown on his face. He was tugging on my arm by the time we got into his car I just sat there and closed my eyes. Wondering what the hell he was doing. A few minutes later we pull up to Sam’s house I look over to Chris and see he was already half way up the doorway. I get out of the car and walk up slowly up the pathway. I pull out my key and open the door. We walk in and I find Sam in the living room eating cereal in front of the TV. He looks over and stands up. “Happy Christmas!! Well I mean merry Christmas!!! And where the hell have you been. Do you know how long I spent looking for you? I was worried sick... By the time 2 in the morning rolled around I was so tired I had to come home. I called your phone but u doesn’t charge Ur phone so…” he looks at me unreadable expression.” What happened at the dance? All I saw was you sitting at the table and then nothing.” “Were was Alexander?” I don’t have time to answer when I felt his presence in the room. We all turn around to see him walk into Sam’s house still in the suit and his hair all messed up. He doesn’t notice us until he looks ups and see me. When I see his eyes. His grey beautiful eyes. I can’t stand it anymore I close my eyes and let myself fall.

I awoke a few minutes later on Sams couch while everyone was out of sight. I get up and walk softly towards the kitchen when I hear Chrissies haunting voice. “Do you know how she came home last night? She came home crying gasping half dead. She wouldednt even listen she fell asleep crying. You know why I know cause i stayed by her door until I heard her fall asleep. This morning her eyes were so swollen that I thought someone punched her. “I stopped and turned around. I got a post it note and wrote same a note. Talk later. Phones charged. Need to get away. Don’t come after me. See you soon. I get out the front door unnoticed and run to my house. All I had planned today was to come say goodbye but Chris ruined it. I grab the bags I packed earlier in the day and throw them in the trunk of my car. I leave Chris the Sam note and I grab some emergency cash have stored and my credit card. I run out and get in my car. I drive not knowing were I was going and end up in upper saddle river. My friend lives here mia. I drive up to her house hoping she was there. I walk up the steps and ring her bell. She opens it and only has time to say hey when I burst out what I had in mind. “Let’s go to Hawaii.”
In the line at the security at the airport, I wonder if it’s a good idea. I mean we have a house in Hawaii so shelter is covered. And food. It’s surrounded by restaurants so. But I mean. I should have told them were I was going. I shake my head as we boarded the plane.

Half a week later. January 3rd.

I park my car and slowly grab my bags and make my way up to the front door. I open the door and walk inside. I find Chris sitting at the living room with Sam by his side. They look up at me and I drop my bags. A Chris stand there looking at me and then randomly walks up to me and hugs me. “Don’t ever do that again. I don’t know what it would be like to lose you. I nod and hug him back. I walk into the living room and hug Sam who was as worried as any father would be.
A few hours later I was unpacked and showered. Winter break ends in 3 days and I still haven’t even talked to Alexander. I muster up the courage and call him. I leave him a voicemail telling him to meet me at the playground by the elementary school. I tell Chris and Sam was I was going and drive to the playground. I wait on one of the swings and I wait a few min when I see Alex walk up to me. What I don’t notice is Alex dragging a girl with him. He stops a few feet in front of me his arm around the girl’s waist. I wave ignoring the pain in my heart. Alex speaks first. “Hey Aubrey. This is Anne. My um-“he can’t even say it so Anne says it’s for him.” Girlfriend. Hi I’m Anne. Nice to meet you.” I nod. “Oh um hi. I’m Aubrey. Nice to meet you too. I get up from the swings and start backing away towards my car. “Oh yeah um Alex I just wanted to give you your Christmas present I left before I had the chance so um yeah...” I handed him the present and nodded towards Anne. “Nice to meet you Anne but I must be going. “My voice cracks at the end as I turn around on my heel and walk out of that park as fast as possible. I get in the car crying softly. As I get inside I start my walk upstairs but stop when Chris and Sam call me over to the kitchen. They made dinner. I wipe my face and walk over to them. Sam looks at me” so what happened?” I walk in and sit numbly taking my coat and hat off. “He has a girlfriend. A really pretty girlfriend.” I break down there. “Her names Anne. Anne Montgomery she’s in my study hall.” I wrap my arms around myself and I feel Sam arms wrap around me.

School was unbearable. Anne broke up with Alex around the last week of January. We got out letters of acceptance. Sam Alex and I got accepted to the University of New York. A performing arts class and they have a great psychology program. Alex and i were on the road to recovery. We haven’t mentions that night or anything close. Were trying to get back to normal.
Alex and I. we’ve gone back to normal. Like as if December never happened.
June. 26.


On graduation day I can remember him wearing the outfit I chose for him and Sam the same. We went out for dinner. Sam and Annabel are going fine. I’m surprised but they seem so cute together. It was graduation night and Sam Annabel Alex and I were walking by the river. Sam and Annabel went ahead and we can her then laughing way up ahead. We were talking about something random when Alex dropped the bomb. He bent down to tie his shoe and I stopped to wait for him but he didn’t get up again. I looked down and there he was on one knee. I gasped as he pulled out a black box. “Marry me” he blurted “save me from myself and I ill do my best to save you when you need it to. Marry me and have babies with me marry me and dance with me until neither of us can bend down to tie our own shoes. Marry me Aubrey and make me the luckiest happiest idiot in the world.” He repeated the words I once told then about reading this book and it was the cutest proposal. I said I wanted the person to propose to me just like that. I stare at him my mouth gapping open and his eyes staring at me. Hopefulness in his grey eyes. “Marry me please.” He mutters to me lastly. I stare at him wondering where this had been brought up. Alex and I, I have to admit we were cute together and I mean we don’t have problems just that tiny little thing that happened in December but I mean were so young. We still have school. As if reading my mind Alex answers still on one knee. “We don’t have to marry yet. We can finish school Finish College. We can even marry when were 80 years old and I’m in my death bed, but I just want o know that you are mine. And no one can take you from me.” I smile at that. He knows me so well. Before I have time to react I’m said yes. I see the happiness in his eyes that it takes all my will not to burst out crying knowing I just made his dream come true. He stands up and kisses me. I stand for a second in shock at the fact that he was kissing me.


For the next few months throughout the long heated summer days and months, Sam Alex and I even Annabel enjoyed our summer full of laughter and fun and love. Love. So much love that I didn’t know what to do with it. Chris is so happy that I’m finally happy. Alex and i. we have made so many memories. So many photos and videos. Long days by the beach, by the park even on the swings. The ring glistening patiently on my left hand. By the time august rolls around, I had my dorm stuff ready, my school supplies ready and my schedule memorized by heart. Annabel is going to the Bergen community college and so Sam and she would be able to see each other on weekends and some weekdays. We leave for college on the 20th of august. Classes start on the 10th of September so that gives us almost 3 weeks to get used to sleeping in the dorms.
August 29.
I walk up to my dorm, knowing my dorm buddy is coming today. Evaline is her name. She has my same schedule. I open our door and I find her there. Fixing her bed. I almost laugh. He half of the room has the same color coordinated I have. Green purple white. I look around. My laptop sits on my desk next to the huge window while my bed is in the corner a bookshelf mounted on the wall next to it. Both windows have a seat next to it, so I have a green cushion next to it. My bulletin board on the wall by my desk, photos of Alex and I, and all of three or four of us. My schedule and some post it notes. My small closet full of all m clothes that I can jam into it and my desk subsides as a drawer aswel. I walk in and she turns around. “Oh hi. I’m Evaline but you can call me E.” she looks at my side of the room. “You must be Aubrey right?” I nod “hey. Yeah that me. Anyway so, tell me about yourself.” She nods and sits down on her bad and takes outs a shoebox full of photos. “Um … this is my mom, dad and other 3 sisters.” She hands me a photo and then hands me photo of Alexander. I look over to my bulletin. “Oh this must have fallen.” I say as I get up as ii look at t it but I see this is not me he has his hand wrapped around his waist. She looks at me questioningly. “Um that’s my boyfriend Damien. I look over and grab a photo of Alexander. I show it to her and she almost faints. We think that he’s cheating on us when she notices the difference. “Wait no Damien has a birthmark next to his left ear. Alexander has a slight freckle to his left eye.” She sound excited almost. I nod. “Come on my boyfriend is in the boy’s dorm lets go and see what this is about. We walk across campus and enter the boy’s dorm. I open Sam and alexs door to find them fixing their beds. Alex turns around and starts saying hello before he has the chance to finish I shove the photo of him or Damien at him. “Who the hell is that?”
He looks me in the eye. Takes the photo and goes pale. That’s my brother. My twin brother.


Half hour later was all sitting on their couch Alexander explaining to me the story. “You see him when we were born, well let’s just start; the truth is that my dad is my stepdad. And my brother went to live with our father considering that my mom got married again. They split u sup. And I mean we saw each other on Christmas but then after like what 3rd grade he stopped meeting us and I guess I forgot about him. I mean I haven’t seen him in so long but I mean were twins but I mean how’d you find out? “I look over to e. “um she is his boyfriend.” “Oh” he mumbles. “Do you know what college he’s coming to? “E nods franticly. “He’s coming in a few days. His dad wanted some time with him before he gets h-““wait he’s coming here?” She nods once again as I see Alex pale even more. I look at him and back at eve. “Um eve Sam can guys go on a walk or something so I can tell Aubrey something. Eve and Sam walk out of the room and I look at Alexander in confusion. He sighs and before you know it the curtain rises. “Aubrey you don’t live in a world you think you do. Sam and I were not the normalist things on this earth and my brother he is dangerous.” He looks at me and continues “my mom and I we found out about my “powers” around 1st grade when I transformed when I got angry. “


**** authors note.******
I usably don’t write about supernatural romances but I was like why not? Soooo please don’t judge.

I look over at Alexander and my mind is pulsing. Transformed what the hell is he saying? I zone in when he stares at me and asks me if I’m alright. I sputter out “transformed?” my voice an octave higher than usual. “Yes transformed, I’m a werewolf, Sam’s half vampire half dragon and I can sense that eve is all dragon. But you must understand though, my brother is short tempered he was always mad jealous about me going with my mother he wanted her love he wanted the mother with the hugs and kisses yet he didn’t get it and so he has lived his whole life hating me.” I look at him and nod silently. He sigh s a sigh of relief and he hugs me tight as I hug him back and close my eyes tight. Yet Alexander’s not done yet. “So you’re my mate. That’s why I engaged to you so early; I wanted to know that you would always be mine. “I laugh. “As in soul mates?” I sputter full of laughter. He chuckles and nods his head, “yeah, Annabel’s sams mate though she doesn’t know it and it’s pretty funny how that’s goona work out. I look up at him and smile. “I love you Alexander.”
He smiles as if he’s seeing the sun for the first time.” I love you too my love. I love you too.”

Alexander and I are in the car a few days later when the song for the first time comes on by the script.
She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,
While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,
And we don't know how,
How we got in to this mad situation,
Only doing things out of frustration

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard,

She needs me now but I can't seem to find the time,
I've got a new job now on the unemployment line,
And we don't know how,
How we got into this mess
is it god's test,
Someone help us 'cause we're doing our best,

Trying to make it work but man these times are hard

But we're gonna start by
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Saying things we haven't for a while
A while ya
We're smiling but we're close tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

[x3]
Oooooo

She's in line at the DOLE*
With her head held high (high)
While I just lost my job but
Didn't lose my pride

But we both know how,
How we're gonna make it work when it hurts,
When you pick yourself up,
You get kicked to the dirt,

Trying to make it work but,
Man these times are hard,

But we're gonna start by,
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,

Doing things we haven't for a while,
A while ya,
We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time.

Ooooo
[x3]

Yeah.....
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Saying thing we haven't for a while,
We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting, for the first time

ooooo...., yeahh for the first time
(ooooo....), oh for the first time,
Yeah for the first time,
(just now got the feeling that we're meeting...
For the first time)

[x4]
Oh these times are hard,
Yeah they're making us crazy
Don't give up on me baby


All the while I keep thinking of the poster of qotes I have on my wall. One of the qotes is :
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. Everyone has an Angel. A Guardian who watches over us. We can't know what form they'll take One day, Old man, Next day, Little girl. But don't let appearances fool you; they can be as fierce as any dragon. Yet they're not here to fight our battles. But to whisper from our hearts. Reminding that it's us. Its everyone of us who holds power over the world we create.
You can deny angels exist, convince ourselves they can't be real. But they show up anyway, at strange places and at strange times. They can speak through any character we can imagine. They'll shout through demons if they have to. Daring us, challenging us to fight. Who honors those we love with the very life we live?
Who sends monsters to kill us, and at the same time sings that we'll never die? Who teaches us what's real, and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live, and what we'll die to defend? Who chains us, and who holds the key to set us free
Who is it that tells all these things? It's like we talked about, you control this world. Let the pain go, let the hurt go, let the guilt go. What you are imagining right now, that world you control. That place can be as real as any pain.

? And finally. This question. The mystery of whose story it will be, of who draws the curtain. Who is it that chooses our steps in a dance? Who drives us mad, flashes us with whips, and crowns us with victory when we survive the impossible?


Love is not blind, it just enables one to see what others don’t, I am not above the influence, I am not below the influence, I am the influence -

I smile. We drive back to campus as the song is ending, when we see someone carrying boxes into the boy’s dorm. We walk out going over to help him but when he turns around when we call over to him we freeze instantly. Oh sugarcoat. It’s him...
As we approach him he looks over to us. And immediate scowls when he sees Alexander. I hide behind Alex and when we stop in front of him. He stare intently at Alexander and back at me. Alexander looks at him with almost a hopeful expression on his face. I smile reassuring to Alexander and squeeze his hand in mine. He smiles down at me thankfulness in his eyes. He looks up and starts to talk. “Damien.” Damien stares at him and before I know it I’m pushed behind Alexander and Damien with his eyes closed and shaking and in haling through his nose. He opens his eyes when he inhales. “Well well well, looks likes the brothers found their mates.” He chuckles darkly. He looks over to me and his personality changes completely. “Well hello. My name is Damien. As you can see Alexander’s twin brother. “I look up to Alexander who looks like he’s going to cry. My heart falls and immediately an idea falls into my head. I grab Damien’s hand and tug him away to a corner. He looks down at me in schoock as if I was crazy. I take a deep breath and before I changed my mind I burst out with the words of the truth. “I know Damien that your upset with Alexander but I love him were engaged his my everything and I know him I know him when he’s upset. I know him since I was 14 months. I know his secrets I know what he feels when he’s upset I know it and I kind of felt betrayed because I didn’t know about you. I legit found out about like 2 days ago, and I know u never told your mate because she found out about Alexander the same time I did so yeah and I mean, he’s sorry for whatever he did. He’s told me about wanting to tell you that he loves you and that he was sorry. I know that your devastated about not having a mother that showered you with kisses but I mean you can’t blame him for it, he was a newborn he could not say no ill go with dad.hes your brother, and it hurts me when he’s in pain and I know you’re hurting too cause you u miss your brother, you miss having that connection with someone that looks exactly alike you. You miss him and you know it.” I exhale and I see him close his eyes fighting back tears. I smile a slight smile. He looks o ver to his brother and I know that I must have said something right because of the fact that he looks at me and strides over to Alexander and pulls him into a man hug. I immediately think of the song again by flyleaf.
love the way that your heart breaks
With every injustice and deadly fate
Praying it all will be new
And living like it all depends on you

Here you are down on your knees again
Trying to find air to breathe again
And only surrender will help you now
I love you please see and believe again

Love that you're never satisfied
With face value wisdom and happy lies
You take what they say and go back and cry
You're so close to me that you nearly died

Here you are down on your knees again
Trying to find air to breathe again
And only surrender will help you now
I love you please see and believe again

They don't have to understand you
Be still
Wait and know I understand you
Be still
Be still
Here you are down on your knees again
Trying to find air to breathe again
And only surrender will help you now
The floodgates are breaking and pouring out

Here you are down on your knees
Trying to find air to breathe
Right where I want you to be again
I love you please see and believe again

Here you are down on your knees again
Trying to find air to breathe again
Right where I want you to be again
See and believe!
I smile and walk over to them picking up my phone and calling eve.


Ill is adding on OT more before time. Ill ve adding more!! Please write me/… tell me what u think bad or good!! Please

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 20.07.2011

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