A Father's Dignity

A big man, thoughtful, kind, loving,
a construction worker from his youth.
When he put his hand on something,
you knew it was going to move.
He would ask me to do something,
and smile if he had to do it himself.

The years passed, we all grew older,
his shoulders sagged as he began to stoop,
his keen hearing began to falter,
his eagle eyes clouded over,
he needed help to move everything.

It was difficult watching him wither.
A proud man sure of his strength,
he couldn't accept this new weakness.
He felt he was losing his dignity.

He faded slowly, painfully,
and one evening he passed,
thank God in his sleep,
peacefully, painlessly, dignified.


Echoes

Where once there was a family,
now there is only one.
One, the loneliest number
with happier memories.
Memories that magnify sound.

Sounds that become intense at night.
A squeaking door hinge,
creaking floor boards,
a dripping faucet.

Sounds bouncing off the walls,
reminding me I'm alone.
Teardrops hitting the floor
are lonely, deafening sounds.
Those damnable echoes.


An Angel Walks Beside Me

Tonight, like other nights, as I lay in bed,
I reflected on past events in our lives.
I remember how we felt when the doctor
gave us the bad news, the fear in your eyes.
I remember how proud I was of you
when you refused to let it get you down.

For several years you fought against pain
and against your fear of dying.
I remember how we went shopping,
walking hand in hand through the stores,
and your smile when you found a sale.

I love the feel of your arm around me as
we walk, the peace that comes over me.
Then they came out with the new drug
and slowly you fought back.
It isn't over, but it is better, for awhile.
There’s one thing I‘m very sure of,
every day an angel walks beside me.


I’m Here For You

Having cancer must be frightening.
If you need a shoulder to cry on,
mine are broad.

I know you have a lot of tension.
If you ever need a massage,
I have good hands.

If you need someone to listen,
I’ll sit quietly.
If you ever need a hug,
I have strong arms.

If you want someone to walk with,
I have good legs.
Whatever your need,
I’m here for you.


I Just Can’t

Your days are filled with fear
that one day you will have to go.
You are making plans for that day
and you need me to help in some way.
I'm sorry, I just can't.

The doctor gave you seven years,
but you have passed that mark.
You want to talk and make plans
for the day the leukemia wins.
I'm sorry, I just can't.

You need love and assurance.
I give you all my love and I try
to brighten each of your days.
You need someone to talk to.
I'm sorry, I just can't.

I have not accepted your fate
as you seem to have done.
For so many years we have loved
and cared for each other.
We have been as one.

I can't talk about losing
you while I have you close.
I don't want you to leave,
at least not without me.
I love you so much and I
can't accept that you will
one day have to leave me.
Please forgive me, but,
I'm sorry, I just can't.


Nightmares

The night air is cool,
but the sheets are soaked with sweat.
I open my eyes and you are beside me,
your arm around me, holding tightly.
Your eyes are closed as you breathe deeply.
I hear the ocean waves crashing,
the gentle breeze moving the curtains.
I reach to touch you but your image fades.

Again, I hear the waves crashing ashore.
I’m sitting on the side of the bed,
sweat pouring from me as I look around.
The bathroom light is on so I open the door.
You are in the shower, smiling, beckoning me.
I step forward and reach for you,
but you keep fading away.

I hear the waves again and jump out of bed.
I’m covered with sweat and you are gone.
Reality finally takes hold of me.
It’s been three years since you passed away.
I can still hear the preacher’s words,
the unending tide of family and friends.

I look at the clock and see it’s only 2 a.m.
This night has been like all the rest.
I fear I’m destined to repeat this night
until I depart to be with you.
How much longer can my sanity hold out?


My Love

I lie awake almost in a daze,
as darkness is chased by fiery rays.
I slept not this night, as many before.
You were lulled by waves crashing ashore.

Some write of climbing mountains high,
others of swimming oceans deep.
On these I dwell as you release a sigh,
head on my chest as you peacefully sleep.

We take a leisurely stroll, hand in hand,
I write your name in the sand.
I put my arms around you, holding you tight,
as the evening rays give way to night.

I know not how to write of love in a song,
but words of love I'll whisper all night long.
I'll chase away all your fears,
and wipe away all your tears.

These things and more I'll do,
and in your heart you'll know,
I really do love only you.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 17.02.2011

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