Part 1: Cody

I wasn't always like this you see. I used to believe that love was true and pure, but if you have gone through what I have in my relationships, you wouldn't believe that there was such a thing out there in the world. But ironically, love is in my name.
My name is Dakota Love Blackfire. I'm not popular really, well except for not taking people's shit and my sarcasm, but I have enough friends to keep me from being a totally outcast and loner.
My story starts out on any other regular day. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. and started getting ready for school. I was excited because in 2 or 3 days we would be let out for winter break. I did my hair, put on my Andy Sixx t-shirt with my black short shorts, put on my converse, and put on my makeup. I was about to walk out of my house, when I realized that my piercings weren't in. I ran back to my room and put in my nose piercing and snakebites. 'Ahhh...much better," I cooed.
When I got to school, my friend Corrina Lynn ran up to me looking really serious and pissed off.
"Dakota! Oh my god!" she yelled looking really mad.
"What Rina?"
"I saw Cody kissing another girl!" she blurted out.
"HE DID WHAT?!?!?" The small smile disappeared from my lips.
"Yeah, see look." she pulled out her phone and showed me a picture of Cody kissing the school slut, Kimberly. Tears came to my eyes and I ran out of school. I ran all the way to the park down the street and sat on one of the swings. Going into a submission of tears and rough breathing.
"Dakota?"
I turned around and saw my friend Jesse Arron standing there staring at me worriedly.
"What, Jesse?" I said wiping my eyes.
"Are you okay? I saw you run out of school."
"Not really.... no....actually, I am definitely not okay."
“What happened?"
"Cody cheated."
"WHAT!"
"Yeah..."
"Who does this punk think he's fucking with?!"
"Jesse..." I tried to calm him.
"No, this creep has put you through hell! Dee, I've known you too long to let this go! I'm going to kill him!" Jesse started to storm away.
"Jesse, Jesse, please don't! Jesse!" I burst into tears again.
Jesse walked back, and gave me a warm hug. "Oh, Dee..." He stroked my hair, and asked," So you're done with the creep?"
"He's not a creep, Jesse."
"You're right he's just gay."
I giggled. "He's not gay, Jess."
"He has to be if he gave you up."
I smiled, looking into Jesse's twinkling green eyes.
"Dee, he's just one of those idiot guys who don't know how to treat a girl. You deserve better than that." Jesse said his voice so serious. He's really a great friend.
"so what do you call an object that smells, has wheels, and fly’s?" Jesse asked.
I rolled my eyes and grinned at his thousand year old joke. "Let me guess... a garbage truck?"
Jesse held his hand to his heart and gasped." how did you know?!"
"Come on we have to get to class," I laughed.
We walked back to school and went into our second period (we had missed first). We took our seats in the back next to Corrina Lynn, Tessa Lee, and Roger Taylor. They all turned and stared at me when i sat down.
I concentrated my stare on the white board in the front of the room and out of the corner of my mouth i said," If you guys know what's good for you, you'll stop staring at me." But they kept staring at me. Well... yeah, no wonder none of them have ever seen me cry. Mr. Michaels went on and on about viruses and bacteria. I was only half paying attention; my mind was racing about what I was going to do about Cody. The bell rang out of nowhere making me jump. I shut my notebook and headed out ignoring all 4 sets of eyes following my back.
I opened my locker and was fixing my make up in my little mirror when someone walked up and shut my locker. I just stood there looking at Cody without saying anything.
"Hey baby," he said about to kiss me. I turned my head.
"Cody, we need to talk."
The smile disappeared from his lips and he got all serious when he saw the look on my face. "Ok," he said. I started telling him about all the shit he put me through and how he never even talks to me. He started telling me how he has a lot going on in his life, what with his sister about to have her baby, his sister also about to get married, his brother about to get married, and how he is most likely about to move to San Diego over the summer. He said he just doesn't have time in his life for a girlfriend. And how he barely ever even gets to see his friends as it is, biggest lie I've ever heard.
"Well..." I said. I was about to say it's over when he broke up with me.
I slapped him, wait no, I bitch-slapped him, hard.
"Bitch," I said, "I was going to break up with you first!"
He started to tear up a little and was holding his face.
"You Bitch! Why the fuck did you do that?"
Jesse, Roger, Corrina, and Tessa looked over and started laughing their asses off. I turned away from Cody and his pathetic whining. I saw Kimberly looking at Cody and me; she was laughing and pointing at Cody holding his face in pain. I turned to him again and kicked him in his junk. He yelled in pained and dropped to the ground near my feet.
Then, I turned towards Kimberly and walked towards her.
"Guess what, Kimberly? Cody isn't the only one who's going to get what’s coming to him."
"Oh really," She said narrowing her eyes. "Is that a threat?"
"No, Kimberly, that's a promise," I said and turned to walk away.
"Biatch," She muttered under her breath.
I turned around and smiled." Excuse me, yeah, uh slut? That's your name right? What did you just say to me?"
"Excuse me?!?" She yelled.
"Yeah, that's right you heard me! You. Are. A. Slut." I said emphasizing each word.
"Yeah, well at least I can get a guy," she said looking happy about her comeback.
"Yeah and do you know why you can get a guy, Kimberly?"
"Why?"
"Because you don't care who it is or even if you know their name. You will get with ANY guy no matter what, even if he's the ugliest guy in the world!"
"That just shows that I'm not superficial if I don't care about looks and stuff. I actually care about their personality," she said as if she were the nicest and most un-superficial person in the world.
"No that just shows that you are either afraid of commitment or that you’re a skank," I said as a matter of fact.
"Nuh uh," She said sounding like a three year old arguing with their mother.
"Whatever. Why don't you just go check yourself for gonorrhea or something like that?"
She looked at me in shock and behind that was a little bit of confusion and I bet anything she was trying to figure out what gonorrhea was and would probably have looked it up in the dictionary right then and there if it wasn't for the fact that I was standing there waiting for her to give me a comeback and she most likely didn’t know how to spell it.
"Well... um...at least I'm not fat and ugly like you!" desperate much?
"Sorry to tell you but you should probably look at your ass in the mirror before u go calling people fat and um... you should probably check your face in the mirror before you call people ugly. Oh I almost forgot!! you can't look at your face in the mirror cause if u looked in the mirror the glass would break...well then you can go ahead and call me ugly cause clearly you don't know what ugly really is." I said with a satisfied grin on my face.
she stood there looking deep in thought, but I decided I didn’t want to wait till I’m eighty before she comprehends what I’m saying and comes up with a comeback. So I turned around and went back to my locker. I didn’t realize till now that a group of people had formed around Kimberly and my little chat. But sure enough there were people standing there and laughing at what I'd said to her. I felt a tap on my shoulder and Kimberly was standing there and she just right up and slapped me across the face. Man! Even for a girl like her she hits like a 5 year old wow I would have expected more. Stuff like that makes me ashamed to be a girl. Corrina and Tessa step up on either side of me. "You touch her again and you'll be dealing with us, skank," Corrina said getting all up in her face. "Yeah, you touch her or even look at her in the wrong way we'll knock all your plastic surgery off of you. Starting, with those fake things that are dangling from your chest," Tessa said narrowing her eyes menacingly. There was an eruption of laughter at this but you could mainly hear it coming from Roger and Jesse. They were laughing so hard they were holding their stomachs with tears in their eyes. I started laughing just looking at them. I turned back to my locker still laughing and started fiddling with my combination. At my feet Cody was starting to get up and was using my leg for support. I shook him off my leg. "Get off me u freak!!" I said. He got up, while I turned back to my locker and was looking for my history book, when I noticed Cody staring at me. "What?"
"Why were you so mean to Kimberly?" He asked.
"Are you seriously asking me that question?!?!" I yelled
"What do you mean?"
"YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH HER YOU DUMBASS!!!"
"I did not!!"
"Oh yeah," I turned around and walked over to Corrina and yanked her by her arm all the way over to Cody.
"Jeez!! Dakota you’re going pull my arm out of my socket!!" I ignored her.
"Rina show him what you showed me."
She pulled out her phone and showed him the pic of him with his tongue down Kimberly's throat. How is he going to deny this??
"Umm... that's...that isn’t me..." he stuttered.
"Yeah, uh huh, sure it wasn’t." I said rolling my eyes. I found my history text and shut my locker. I turned to walk to the cafeteria when I heard him mumble something under his breath along the lines of " whatever you slut."
"You’re calling me a slut!! Maybe you should look at the girl who had your tongue down her throat to see what an actual slut looks like. I mean she was so desperate for a guy she hasn't been with, she hooked up with you!! I can't believe I was ever even your girlfriend!!"
His face twisted with hurt and anger at these words. He looked monstrous; I have never seen him this pissed. He took a step towards me, his face inches from mine. He looked royally pissed. I saw his arm flex. all of a sudden he reached his arm back as if to smack me, when from behind me I heard Jesse say, "I don't fucking think so!!"
The next thing I know Jesse punched Cody right across the face and Cody fell to the floor. Damn!! He could throw a pretty good punch. I stared in shock for a moment or two before turning around and walking off towards the cafeteria. I sat down at our regular table all the way in the back and slammed my text book on the table before sitting down. I put my hood of my jacket up and laid my head down on the table and wrapped my arms around my head. I heard and felt four people sit down in different seats around the table. It was really quiet and I could tell they were having a quiet conversation most likely about me. I couldn’t look at them after what had just happened.
All of a sudden Tessa broke through the silence.
"Oh. My. God! Who is that?" I looked up at Tessa at first then at the person she was staring at. It was a guy. He had Andy Sixx hair and is really tall. I had to admit to myself that this guy was really hot.
"New guy," I asked.
"Mm-mm-mm! A yummy, new guy," Tessa said.
..." Hell yeah..." I was in a daze.
"His name is Eli Black, He's a senior, and he came here from Desert Vista," Corrina said without really paying attention to who we were staring at. Tessa and me turned and stared at her. "Oh and he has a girlfriend just to let you know."
"How do you know all of this?" Tessa asked.
"Juan," she replied simply without looking up from her tray of food. I rolled my eyes at this, thinking that I did it secretly to myself, but there was no need to be secret about it, she knows I hate him.
The bell rang right then. Everyone stood up at the table and was grabbing their text books and stuff. Everyone was already shuffling out of the cafeteria while I put my hood back up and shoved my history book under my arm, put my iPod and phone in my jacket pocket before heading after them.
We were headed towards history when I remembered that my history homework was in my locker.
"Hey, I'll catch up with you guys in a minute k?" Jesse watched me run off towards the opposite way we came, and then went into the classroom. I got to my locker as quickly as possible and rushed through my combination. I found my homework and briefly checked myself in the mirror then slammed my
I fell backwards landing on the floor. "Oh! Damn it! I'm sorry! I wasn't paying attention. I'm so sorry!" A guy’s voice said.
I looked up and saw the new guy (Eli?) standing over me. I got up automatically and brushed my shirt off and fixed my hair, while he went to retrieve his papers that had flown everywhere. I went to find where my history homework had gone. I found it a few feet away. I was about to go around the corner and rush to my class when I heard him start talking to me again.
"Hey, I'm really sorry about that." He said coming to a stop in front of me." I just got done talking to my girlfriend and was rushing to my class, and didn't realize where I was going."
I just stood there for a second hypnotized by his mystical silver eyes. Woh!
"Uhm...uh...." I stuttered trying to force myself to speak." It's ok. I don't think I'll bruise or anything."
He smiled and said, "right."
Just then I heard a girl giggling. I looked over Eli's shoulder and saw Cody and Kimberly talking, his arm around her shoulder. There was this huge smile on his face. Eli looked behind him then at me. I expertly avoided my eyes from him and focused them on the ground. I held back the pain and hurt that was about to overflow from my eyes in the form of tears. I looked up then and saw Eli staring at me with a thoughtful expression. "I have to go," I muttered awkwardly. I stepped around him and went around the corner. I walked back to history slowly composing myself the whole way there.
*********0_o*********
The rest of the day passed by in a blur of boring lectures and a pile of homework an inch thick, that I'd have to finish tonight. The whole time just trying not to think about Cody or what had happened. The last bell rang, signaling the end of the school day. I burst out of my math class and went down the hall and around the cafeteria to the side vending machines where my locker was right across from. I put my math text book in my locker and got all the stuff I need and shut my locker. Jesse came up behind me and squeezed my sides, which he knew, would make me jump. I jumped like 3 feet in the air and screamed. He started laughing his ass off.
"Jackass!"
"It's not nice to call people names!" He laughed.
"Sexual harassment isn't nice either!" I yelled and laughed at the same time.
"Awe is our little leprechaun mad?" Roger asked, walk towards us.
"Ugh! Shut up Roger."
"What it's not my fault you’re a ticklish midget," he said while trying to tickle me again.
"Meany!" I said
"Oh wow! I'm so wounded," he said holding his hand to his heart. Corrina Lynn and Tessa Lee walked up beside Roger, each on either side of him and they both punched him in the arms.
"OW!! What was that for?!?"
"You said you felt wounded, so we made sure you actually were," Tessa said with a shrug.
"Hahaha!" I laughed, right in his face.
"Whew, girl, get a Tic Tac!" Roger faked. I kicked him in the shin.
"Owe!"
Jesse was trying hard not to laugh, but lost and busted up laughing in hysterics. "Why are you laughing?" I asked.
"You two are like fighting toddlers." He said simply, still laughing. I stuck my tongue out at him and turned away. This made him laugh even more.
"What's so funny?" A voice, I knew only too well as Cody's, said. I my spine stiffened while I turned to glance at him. I turned away from him and gave Tessa and Rina a What-hell-is-he-doing-here look. Why does he think he has the right to talk to any of my friends after what he did!
"What do you want?!" Jesse demanded with Roger coming up next to him, both giving Cody death glares. "Yeah what do you want?" Tessa demanded looking as if she was going to bitch slap him again. Corrina Lynn and I just stood there looking at each other. She was looking for sadness, I looking for some strength and reassurance.
"I just want to know what's so funny." He said.
I snapped my head up and looked at him with my, oh so famous, death glare and yelled," Why the fuck should we tell you what we are talking about! You stupid, wannabe emo, asshole!!"
He stood there stunned into silence by my outburst.
"Exactly! So why don't you shut the fuck up and walk the fuck away, you stupid ass little wannabe!" I shouted in his face.
"Oh shit! She is PISSED!" Roger said.
"Nothing gets by you, Sherlock." Tessa said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Dee-Dee.... You can't really be mad at me..." Cody smiled, acting as if nothing at all had happened earlier. I smiled a totally fake smile and leaned in as if I was going to kiss him. I put my hands on his shoulders and kneed him right in his balls. "You think you can cheat on me and flirt with other girls in front of me and break up with me and act as if it didn’t happen! You stupid, piece of shit!"
"Oh! I guarantee that he is never going have children," Corrina Lynn laughed.
"Nobody would want to carry his ugly child for 9 months without killing themselves anyway, so it really doesn't matter." said Tessa. I smiled and all of us turned away from him and walked straight into principal Jones. Wow we're brilliant, truly. Ugh!
"Well well! That was a very interesting thing to watch. In fact, so interesting that I think Ms. Marks, the detention teacher, would love to hear you tell her all about it, over and over during all 4 of your detentions for the next week. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to take young Mr. Cody to the nurse's office." He said walking around us and helped Cody to his feet. They both walked off towards the nurse's office.
"UGH! That guy has had it out for me for like ever! Man, just because my mom dumped him. I'm mean he shouldn't take it personally, she's dumped so many other guys that got too serious." I yelled, barely pausing to breathe. "I mean why should I have to pay for my mom's commitment problems?"
"Dee, chill! It's only detention, it's not like we have never been there before," Tessa said, trying to calm me down.
"I'm not freaking out because I got detention! I'm just pissed that wherever I go there’s always something that goes wrong that involves my family!" I yelled. "I mean there are a lot of places I can't go because of my mom's many exes!"
I stood there fuming while all my friends just stared at me or somewhere else, like the floor.
"What?!? Why are you staring at me like that?"
"Nothing," They said in unison and looked away from me. I thought through everything I'd said in the last few minutes and found nothing wrong with what I'd said, so they must not know what to say. "Well, whatever." I said at a loss for more words.
I walked away out the front doors of the school. I put my headphones in, blasting 'Whisper' by Evanescence, and walked all the way home thinking about how horrible my day turned out to be. And about how I'd been so stupid to think that a guy like Cody could affect me this badly, probably because I have always been the dumper instead of the dumpee. But how could I possibly believe that he gave a shit about me? I knew somewhere in me when he had his best friend, Missa, ask me out instead of doing it himself, that this wouldn't workout. He had been one of the guy friends that I actually liked to hang out with. Now look at us.
This goes to show that friendships end when a relationship begins. After that nothing will be the same.

Part 2: Eli

So far after the ultimate end to Cody and me, things have been in a kind of haze. At KHS (Kyrene High School) I've had this kind of luck stride with boyfriends. Whenever I had a feeling a relationship was going to end, a new guy that would emerge from my friend’s category and ask me out. My first year here at KHS I started going out with this guy named Tony. We went out for a couple months and I liked him enough, But there was no ...Spark. There was hardly any communication either, for that matter. We had only really hung out twice and either times we were never alone much of the time. We'd hug and he gave me a necklace and I gave him a bear’s hat, but that was the extent. My friend Scott ended up asking me out and after much convincing from Corrina Lynn I ended up breaking up with Tony (poor guy he looked so sad, I felt so guilty) and
I started going out with Scott. That's when Scott came into the picture. After months of on again, off again and a whole summer of not seeing or talking to each other and he moved to Louisiana. That's when Cody came into my dating life a week later and... Well you know how that ended.
So, it started with Tony, after that ended, a day later Scott was there, when that ended, a week later Cody was there. By the time I started going out with Cody I knew that when and if we ended, my fast-track of having boyfriend after boyfriend would end and go back to a normal speed.
Well, I was right. The first couple days were hard and I was sad, but then I realized I was crazy for Cody, however never really in love with him. All my freinds always asked me why I didn't just break up with him sooner, since we never really hung out with each other much and never really talked much either. I found myself trying to remember why exactly i went out with him in the first place.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 30.11.2011

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this book is dedicated to all my friends that encouraged me to write this book. A special dedication goes to tori. without her i would never have started this book.