FOWARD

I PICKED UP MY BOOKS AND TRIED TO GO AROUND HIM..HE BLOCKED ME..ANXIETY GROWING IN MY CHEST. HE LIFTED HIS HAND IN THE NO HARM GESTURE..MAKING ME ACTUALLY LOOK UP...TO HIS EYES..HE LOOKED..LIKE HE CARED..LIKE HE WANTED..TO HELP..MAYBE..JUST MAYBE..IT WAS THE START OF SOEMTHING NEW....

HOPE??..OR PAIN?...SCARED??..OR HAPPY?

I PICKED UP MY BOOKS AND FINALLY DECIDED TO TAKE OFF MY SUNGLASSES...I SHYLY REMOVED THEM AND I LOOKED UP INTO THIS BROWN EYES..HE HAD BROWN EYES..AND BROWN HAIR..HE WAS MUSCUALR..AND..AND..CUTE?..YEA CUTE I THINK THATS THE WORD..HE LOOKED INTO MY BLUE EYES AND AS..IF LOOKING..INTO MY SOUL..HIS EYES GREW ..CONCERNED AS IF HE HAD JUST..WITNESSED THE RAPE.. I SWALLOWED HARD AND SUDDENLY I JUST..BROKE..DOWN...

THE TEARS COMING..SLOW..AND THEN FASTER..MY VISION THEN BECOMES DARKER..AND I FEEL DIZZY...IM THERE AGAIN
HIM...SHOVING HIMSELF INSIDE ME...THE PAIN..AS IF RIPPING..ME INSIDE OUT..MY SCREAMS AND CRIES OF PAIN BEGING MUFFLED BY HIS HAND...I REMEMBER..PROTESTING..BUT STILL FEELING THE PAIN..HIM..RUBBING AND PRODING..MY BODY..POKING AND..SHOVING FINGERS IN ME..HE..TORTURED ME..AND SPANKED ME..THIS WAS NOT THE WAY I WANTED IT TO HAPPEN...MY SPECIAL.MOMENT..NEVER..NEVER!!

IM SCREAMING AND CRYING..YELLING..I FEEL A BODY ON ME..HOLDING ME..TRYING TO COMFORT ME..YET BRINGING ME PANIC..I KICK AND PUCH..HARDER..SCREAMING IN PAIN...,"ITS ME!", I HEARD THE BOY SHOUT..I RELAXED MY BODY..TAKING A SHUDDERING BREATH..I LOOK AROUND ME..EVERYBODY CROWDED AROUND ME...GIRLS..SNICKERING..GUYS..MUTTERING. I TAKE ANOTHER DEEP BREATH...THE BOY..HELPS ME UP..OFF THR GROUND..MY HEAD FEELS DIZZY ONCE AGAIN..I TAKE A STEP AND STUMBLE..BUT THE BOY CATCHES ME...THE WORLD GOES BLACK...

NEW STEPS...

THE BOY..HE DROVE ME HOME...
I TOLD HIM THANK YOU AND I RAN INSIDE TO MY ROOM..NOT CARING TO LOCK ANY DOORS..I CAREFULLY TOOK OFF MY CLOTHES...I EXAMINED MY BODY IN THE MIRROR..MY THIGHS...BRUISED...MY CHEST HAS MARKS...MY ARMS AND ..BOTTOM SORE..FROM THE PRESSURE...AND THE SMALL ASAULTS...MY PRIVATE AREA...SWOLLEN..AND SHUT IN PAIN.MY FACE STRACHED UP FROM HARD KISSES AND DUE TO..A HARD CUMMING..I SLOWLY RUB THE INSIDE OF MY THIGH AND WHIMPER IN PAIN..IT FEELS LIKE A FIRE BEGUN..AND IT WILL NEVER STOP...I HEAR FOOTSTEPS ON THE STAIRS..PANIC RISING IN MY CHEST..TOO SLOW TO COVER MY RATTED OUT BODY...

THE BOY..HE STANDS IN THE DOORWAY..HIS CHEEKS ..FLUSH WITH EMBARREASSMENT..THEN HIS EYES WIDDEN IN SHOCK...I STAY COMPLETELY STILL..AS HIS EYES TAKE IN MY BATTERED..BODY..HE SLOWLY MOVES OVER TO ME..I SEE A TEAR SLIP OUT..THE CORNER..OF HIS EYE..I SLOWLY LIFT MY ARM..AND WHIMPER AS THE FIRE FLARES UP..I BRUSH HIS TEAR AWAY...

HE SUDDENLY SEEMS ANGRY..,"WHO DID THIS TO YOU?...", HE SAYS IN A PAINED VOICE...I BREAK DOWN..ONCE AGAIN..I CRY INTO HIS SHOULDER..AND HE HUGS ME GENTLY..NOT EVEN GETTING HARD ..THE FACT THAT IM NAKED...HE KNEW MY PAIN..HE KNEW WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH...I PULLED BACK AND ASKED IN MY WEAK VOICE..,"CAN YOU PLEASE HELP ME SHOWER?" MY VOICE WAS JUST ABOVE A WHISPER..HE NODDED..

I WALKED INTO THE BATHROOM WITH HIM FOLLOWING...AS GENTLY AS HE COULD..HE SET THE WATER..AND PLACED ME IN...HE GRABBED A WASH CLOTH..HE SOFTLY...WASHED MY BODY..DRIED MY TEARS...WASHED..MY FACE...HE..HE WAS CARING FOR ME..I HAVEN'T FELT THIS IS A WHILE...CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT MY PARENTS LEFT ME WHEN I WAS FIVE..I'VE BEEN LIVING ON MY OWN FOR TWELVE YEARS...PHYSICALLY I AM SEVENTEEN...MENTALLY...I AM STILL THAT LOST CHILD I WAS WHEN..THEY LEFT..WHEN THEY DISOWNED ME...WHEN I GOT RAPED...THE GOVERNMENT..HASN'T YET FIGURED OUT MY WAY OF LIVING..I WAS AT LEAST THANKFUL FOR THAT...

WHEN HE WAS FINISHED HE SLOWLY DRIED MY BODY..AND LIFTED ME UP FROM THE TUB..HE WENT BACK TO MY ROOM..HE VERY CAREFULLY DRESSED ME..PUT LOTION..ON ME..COMBED..MY HAIR...HE HELPED ME INTO MY BED...HE SLOWLY TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT..PANIC ROSE AGAIN..HE SAW THAT AND TO...MAKE ME COMFORTABLE..
.LEFT IT ON...BAGS UNDER MY EYES..I LIFTED THE COVERS AND..SLOWLY SAT ON THE BED...SOMETHING WAS MISSING...THE BOY LOOKED AT ME AND WAITED..I VERY GENTLY,..NOT TO START THE FLAMES..PATTED THE EMPTY SEAT NEXT TO ME..HE CAUTIOUSLY SAT BESIDE ME... I LEANED ON HIM AND CLOSED MY EYES...HE SOOTHED ME TO SLEEP......
THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I'VE GOTTEN SLEEP SINCE....

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 27.04.2012

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