The Unfinished Story
By: C. M. M. A.
Ó 2009 - 2010My very first book is in
honor of my mom.
I love you so much mom,
Thank You <3


And to my middle school where I
Learned I wanted to be
A writer <3

Panorama Middle School


“Who knows what’s out there in the world? Anything is
Possible and even when impossible,
There will always be a way”


- C.M.M.A.Chapter One
Two paths intertwine


Spain 1904, Black Rose Castle


Two paths intertwined.
One that reaches across time
Together the red string will tie them to thee
Through a star she will come to him
Love will be their guide
In loss
And in time


I hummed the lullaby and closed my eyes wishing I could remember the rest of it. It was beautiful, filled with love and anguish. I couldn’t remember where I heard it before, but it seems as if I had known it forever.
I walked along the darkened halls of the old family castle, picturing myself living here. I couldn’t, but perhaps in time…
I found myself drawn to the door at the end of the hall in which I was walking. I laid my hand against the cool dark wood, and pushed. The door opened with a small click. The room was small and empty, but for the one desk that sat to the far wall. I walked up to the desk, and smoothed a hand over its surface. It looked very old maybe from the thirteenth century.
I opened the only drawer and found a small black book bound in red ribbon. I picked up the book and with a single tug the ribbon fell it the floor.
I opened the book.
I read a page slowly turning to the next page. The paper was so thin and faded, it must been very old. The language it is written in was Spanish and so it must have belonged to one of my family members long ago. The date on the top of the page date was September 1st in the year 904 AD, Japan.
Nearly a thousand years old.
I started reading the first page.

Today was a hot day here in Spain, I was helping my dearest friend in the garden with her flowers when she went in to make lunch. But I wandered off to the pond to look at the fish. I was in a long dress today because today was the Day of Lights. I reached for a flower that had fallen into the pond and fell in. I felt as if I was being burned and frozen to death at the same time as I ran out of air. As my vision started to darken and fade I saw a person swimming towards me. I believed I was dreaming this, but when I came to, I found myself in a strange room. I found out later today that I had come back to ancient Japan. And that the young lord of the estate that I was being taken care of on, saved me. He was so beautiful that it was hard to look at him for long. He always wore a traditional black kimono when he came to see me when I woke. He seemed so relieved but when he talked to me, I couldn't understand. He stayed by me the rest of the day and we ate together. And I felt odd as he smiled at me and left me to go to bed.

So this must be a story of someone who traveled back into time, I thought.
I read a few more pages and then tied the ribbon back around the small book.
I put the book in the pocket of my jacket and continued to walk around the castle. It was big and I knew there was no way I could finish looking around by the end of the week. I heard the clock in the ballroom strike three and I walked up the never-ending staircases to the great hall of the castle and to the room that was my mother’s. I stared at the painting of my mother over the mantle of the fire place.
She was beautiful with her hair the color of moonlight and eyes the color the midnight sky. Thin ,tall and perfect.
I have her face and her eyes, but my hair is raven black and my short height wasn’t helping.
I changed into one of her dresses and corsets. It was long, but it fit just right.
It was made of pale pink silk and pale yellow silk with roses sewn into it. It must have been from one of her past balls.
When I was done, I walked through the long hallway and found my way to the outside grounds.
I wandered into the misty rose garden, walking along the walls covered in roses of all colors: red, white, yellow, pink, blue, and the rarest—the black ones. I reached out to touch the black rose, but as I touched it I felt a small sharp pain. I pulled my hand back to see blood dripping from my finger. I had cut myself on the rose.
Damn.
A rustling came from behind me. It was from the bushes on the west side, and on the other side was the forest of the estate, known for its hunting season, when the wolves were about. I was told tells by the servants, of the forest. It was not a good thing to be alone when you were around them. The wolves were said to be murderess.
Oh no! I’m alone out here!
I turned around to see three huge, angry looking wolves; their fur brisling and mouths foaming. They growled and bared their yellow blood stained teeth at me. Snapping and snarling, eyes glowing an unearthly green. They seemed to enjoy this.
Well I’m not!
I began to panic. I picked up my skirts and started to run. It was too late when I realized that the castle was the opposite way. I ran and the moment I realized, as I looked back that there was no more ground in front of me, but a pond. I fell face first in to the freezing black water, the heavy dress pulling me down into the deep waters of the pond. Black icy water enclosed around me, causing my lungs to burn with the need for air. My body was numb and my mind numbing as well. I couldn’t move anymore so I gave up the struggle. As I sank lower towards the bottom of the pond I wondered if anyone knew or cared that I was here.
My vision dimmed and started to darken around the edges; then I saw someone swimming down towards me.
I must be dreaming of what happen to the girl in the book. That’s it…I must be dreaming…
The last thing I saw before I blacked out was the most beautiful, breath taking pair of sliver eyes.


*~*~*~*~*


At first the only thing I noticed was the pounding in my head, then came the feeling of sickness, then the memory of drowning.
I shot up in the bed, eyes wide taking in what was around me, and then regretted it when the sickness and dizziness came back. I fell back against the bed with a thud and groaned.
I closed my eyes trying to make since of what I saw. I was in a room, but this room wasn’t one I had ever seen before. The style wasn't that of the castle rooms in the western style. And what I was laying on wasn’t a bed but a…futon.
I put my hand over my eyes. This is a dream! This is a dream…but then why does it hurt?
I heard running footsteps coming from somewhere to my left and a door sliding open.
Someone knelt next to me and I felt a hand being placed on my forehead.
They must have heard me.
I opened my eyes to stare into a pair of beautiful sliver eyes and the face of a man just as beautiful.
He jumped back as soon as I opened my eyes and stared at me. He was Asian, but also I dare to think European the way his features were defined and his eyes…
Then he started to say to me. He spoke Japanese.
“Are you okay, young Lady? I saved you from the lake, earlier ,although I did not expect to find you awakened so soon.” then he rubbed the back of his neck, “I don’t think you understand me, do you?”
I could understand him just fine, it was just that I couldn’t find my will to speak. I was too tired. I looked away from him to myself and where I was laying. Then I noticed that I was no longer wearing my clothes, but only a thin robe. I looked at him again to see his cheeks stained with red before I passed out.
I fazed in and out many times, but it didn’t last long when I did. But every time I opened my eyes I saw a beautiful woman with honey colored hair that seems to be around the age of thirty or forty.
She always would look at me and smile, humming a soft lullaby. I no longer saw the young man.
I no longer kept track over how many times I passed in and out and woke. Time seemed endless to me now. I no longer knew if it had been hours or days.
I opened my eyes this time to see no one was in the strange room. I got up from the futon, my legs shaking as I stood.
I looked around and found a thicker robe. I tied it about me and left the room. The hallway was open to the outside, making it more of a walkway. Everything was so big and spacious.
With just one good look around I could tell that I was no longer in Spain. The mountains and scenery was enough to tell me that and as I looked around me I realized it looked just like the pictures in a book I had read on Japanese history. But everything seemed new. This place wasn’t Spain. Oh no, it was Japan. And this was the Fujiwara Mansion.
I felt myself turn frozen at the thought, with shock and panic.
Don’t think about it…don’t think about it…don’t think about it…
I walked around the mansion for some time looking for someone, but I found no one. I looked to the sky to see that the sun was rising. It must be about six AM. I continued to walk and soon I found myself sitting under a cherry tree, its pink blossoms waving in the light breeze of the cool morning.
I leaned my head against the tree closed my eyes.
Who was that lady? And that beautiful young man? And why am I here?
The more I thought about it the more my head hurt and the crazier I sounded. I know this must be a dream, but why am I not waking up or is it that I died when I really fell into the pond? But then why would I be here? Surely this couldn’t have been heaven or hell. But that man did look like an angel…
I sighed and opened my eyes. I froze. There standing in front of me was the woman with blonde hair and green eyes. She smiled and came over to sit next to me.
“Hello,” I said without thinking about it in Spanish.
“Hello,” she said back.
What?!
“You speak Spanish,” I said in disbelief.
“Yes, of course I would. I would never forget my first language,” she said.
“How…?”
“That is a talk for another time, my dear. Now I must get you back to the room. My son would be worried if you weren’t there,” she said taking me by the hand and leading me back to the room.
“Where am I?’ I asked looking down. She stopped for a moment.
“Japan,” she said and then we were at the room.
“I want to know what is going on. I don’t remember coming to Japan. I remember being in Spain and drowning in a pond.” I said slowly.
Her eyes were sad. “I know, but the only thing I can tell you at this moment is that we’ll talk about it later. I’m Leda by the way, honey.”
“I’m Ashlynn,” I said with a small smile, “But can you tell me what happened to me please? At this point I would believe anything.”
With a sigh she sat down next to me. “Okay…” she told me everything that had happened to me and the same thing had happen to her twenty-three years ago. It turned out that she was my mom’s friend that had disappeared in the pond although years ago.
By time she was done my head was reeling. I felt like I was going to pass out again.
“The current year here is 927 AD…You look like you need your rest. By the way all your things are in the trunk over in the corner…”
The room tilted and went black, but I heard her say “Girl’s got some stomach if she lasted through all this…” with a laugh.


Chapter two
Surprises never end


Japan 927, Fujiwara Mansion


I woke feeling as close to my old self as I could get. I now knew that this was no dream.
The leaves of the trees were bright green and the air warm and the sky a blue so clear you just had to stare at it.
A maid came to wake me up and dressed me in a very beautiful and very thick kimono.
It was made of white silk and it was the pattern of lilies in silver thread. It looked very expensive. I was afraid that it was too delicate for me to wear, but I guess not. One of them did my hair in a twist-thing and put in one pin to hold it in place. She told me how beautiful I looked and I thanked her with a blush.
It was beautiful and I thought now I look as beautiful as my mom might have once long ago when she was my age and alive.
When they were done I set out to find Leda. I looked all over the large mansion, but I couldn’t find her so I went to look in the garden. I couldn’t see her, so I went in to look. I went through a bush of lilies not to see Leda there, but the young man that had saved me. His eyes were closed and he was asleep. His breathing deep.
He was so beautiful. He looked no more twenty-two at most. He was tall and even thought he wore all those layers of clothes I could tell he was all muscle and finely built.
He was laying under a cherry tree and a blossom fell upon his brow. Without thinking I reached out and brushed it from his face.
His eyes opened just at that moment and I pulled my hand back, but he caught it. His silver eyes looked over my face.
“I’m sorry! I was looking for Leda and I saw you…you had a blossom on your face so I just brushed it off!” I said, babbling nervously.
“It’s fine. I’m sorry for scaring you,” he said.
What do I get out of this one? If I can just find Leda, everything will be… wait did he just speak in Spanish?!
“You speak Spanish?” I asked. Dumbfounded. Again.
He smiled. “Yes, one of many things my mother taught me.” then he frowned.
“You should be back in bed. You have been getting over your illness for five days. I don’t think you shouldn’t be up yet.”
I pulled my hand away from him before he got up and started dragging me back to the room like Leda did. I needed the air.
Instead I dropped to the ground next to him. He looked shocked at this.
“What is it do you think you are doing?” he asked, in astonishment.
“Sitting next to you. What does it look like?” I said with a small smile at his expression. He had cow eyes.
“But your kimono will get dirty! You must not sit on the ground!”
“It’s fine. I’ll wash it later,” I said thinking that they don’t have washing machines in ancient Japan.
“I’ll need a tub of hot water, some lemon juice and cream. I know how to wash silk,” I said thinking on it.
When I looked over to him, his mouth was hanging open. I put a finger under his jaw and closed it.
I stared at the sky and sighed.
“You know how to wash clothes?” he asked, in an awed tone.
“Of course. Even though I was rich, when I was left with no family before the age of three and was raised by servants and friends of the family. I learned so if one day I need to, I could take care of myself.”
After a long pause he asked: “Don’t you want to go home?”
I thought about that. I had no home really. Nowhere had I belonged. I had the family castle, but that would never be my home. There was nothing to go back for. No one either.
“No,” I said finally, “I have no home, no place had I belonged too, and no one I belong with. Here or there doesn’t matter.” I felt tears fall down my face. The same tears I had never let fall before, because of the sadness of being alone. The tears of the pain I had long hidden.
He said nothing more, but simply took my hand in his. When I had cried away all my tears I stood, gently taking my hand from his.
He looked up at me. “I best go find Leda. Thank you.” and with that I turned and walked away. I couldn’t let myself be cared for by him. Because if he cares for me, I’ll start to care for him. A lesson I learned from my parents.
My mother had loved my dad, and he had loved her. When dad died before I was just born my mom’s soul had been broken with her heart. She tried to hang on the best for me, but she died half a year later. After getting worse and worse, she died of a broken heart.
I walked back to my room and sat on the floor by a small table that had tea and some bread on a tray. I poured a cup of tea and ate a piece of the bread.
Knock…knock.
I got up and went to the door. I slid it open and saw Leda. I bowed and so did she, then we laughed as our heads knock together.
“You are Mira’s daughter,” she said with a smile.
“Thanks, I made a point to study the cultures and customs of most countries, as well as their languages. It was fun. By the way I have a question to ask you,” I said.
“Go ahead,” she said with a knowing smile.
“Who was the young man who saved me?”
She grinned. “He would be the dashing young lord of this estate as well as my son. His name is Kail Gen Fujiwara. He has the name Gen given to him by his father for his silver eyes. He is the heir of the Fujiwara Clan.”
“So the beautiful young man that saved me was your son?! The guy with the piercing silver eyes?”
She nodded. “He looks like his father too.”
“It must be nice to have a family you care for and that cares for you.”
“Yes it is. How is your mother?”
I felt myself pale. “After everyone thought you drowned in the pond she was no longer herself. She started to waste away. Then she married my dad and she became a little more like her old self. Then I came. Dad died a month before I was born. And mom was completely lost. She tried to hold on to herself for me, but it didn’t last long. She died a few months later. Grandpa died a year later. So I became my own guardian. I was left with no family. I was raised by servants, and the friends of my family.”
“Oh I’m so sorry!” she was crying now.
“It was fine. My first time at the castle you disappeared at, was the day fell in to the pond and came here. I don’t have anywhere or anyone I belong to. I never did. I don’t even know if I could go back and I don’t want to.” I said, closing my eyes.
“I never knew! To be so alone all your life…I can’t imagine it. And having no one to care for you.”
I took her hand. “It’s fine. I never knew what it was like so I can never miss it, but I won’t say it didn’t hurt.”
I talked to her for a while and then left the room. This place was huge and tall walls blocked it in. I found a smaller house way by the back of the estate so I walked there. I heard the sound of metal clashing and grinned. That sound means swords.
I knocked on the door and someone came to open it. I bowed. It was a boy about twelve who answered. When he saw me his face went bright red.
“May I ask to see the blacksmith,” I asked in Japanese.
He bowed and said, “Just a moment, my Lady.”
He ran into the house and came back with an older man who had black charcoal dust all over him.
I bowed so did he and he smiled at me. “Hello there milady, how can I help you?”
“Well I was hoping you have a sword I could use?”
His eyes went big as he raised his bushy brows at my odd question and me.
“You…a sword, but why?” he asked baffled.
“I want to go to the town, but you see I don’t really know anyone and no one can be too careful,” I said.
“You can use a sword?” his eyebrows went higher if possible.
“Well yeah. I know how to fight with lots of things. But the training I went through wasn’t easy, but do you have a sword,” I asked again.
He stood there a long moment, as if think better about it, but he couldn’t say me nay, then said: “Yes, please come in.”
I sat in the front room and he came back with a long sword. Made out of the best fine steel and silver.
“This is the lightest one I have, but it is still heavy for even a lady.”
“It's fine. The size or weight doesn’t matter.” I took off one of my gold bracelets and gave it to him. “Will that be enough?”
I saw tears in his eyes. “Thank you, though that sword is worth way less than this, please keep it.”
“Thanks and this sword is beautiful. I am Lady Ashlynn.” I said with a smile.
“I am called Koto the metal worker.”
With that I left and started towards the town. I needed a good walk and I wanted to buy something for Kail for saving me.
When I came to the entrance for the estate I was stopped by to large wooden gates about thirty feet high. Now my problem was getting through them.
Hmmmm… if I had lady Leda with me!
I raced off to find her. I asked the servants check every hall I knew and even all the rooms. I finally found her in the main room having tea. She smiled when she saw me and when she saw the sword tied to my hip, she raised her eyebrows.
“And what is that you are carrying?” she asked.
“I was wondering if you want to get to the town with me. And the sword is for protection of course. Since you never know what might happen.” I pointed out.
She nodded. ‘”It would be good to get out of this mansion and do you know how to use one of those?”
“Yes and I found that fighting with a sword easier then fighting with my hands, although the damage is about the same. So you want to go to town?”
“Yes. I would like to buy some things. But why do you want to go to town?” she asked. “I thought I would find something that Kail would like for saving me.” I said feeling shy. My face felt a little red.
She grinned at me. “Well if you are then you need some suitable clothes.”
I changed into some men’s clothes I borrowed from Kail’s closet and presented myself to Leda. She smiled and she went get her things and we left the mansion to go to town for some fun.


Chapter 3
What hides in the dark


We walked along the road to the village and as we walked people stared at us with weird looks.
“Why are they staring at us,” I asked Leda.
“They find it rare to see something like this. Nobles always ride horses or in carriages. Especially the ladies. So they can’t help, but stare.” Leda explained.
“But walking is good and the town is a few minutes from the mansion. Plus if I’m right the capital is a few weeks ride from here.” I said.
Leda nodded.
We walked into the town and I looked around and filed it all away in my memory. This was really my first time in any town ancient or modern. Everything was either a hut of wood, or of stone, sometimes both, but they were often the same as a small house. As well was in the town square, people chatted happily and kids played with their friends running and being scolded by their parents.
My stomach growled and I looked for a place that sold meat.
I took us to a meat shop that I had spotted. It was a little building that looked very old, and was made out of gray stone.
When we came in the butcher give us a surprised look from behind his counter.
“May I help you? Are you lost?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Nope this is the right place. I would like a pound of pork and a pound of beef, please.”
He chopped the meat and with a strange look gave it to me. I gave him a silver coin.
He thanked us and we left.
“He must never have a noblemen come in to order meat, right?” I asked with a laugh.
“Yes, yes it would seem so,” she agreed giggling.
We stopped a few more places for her and then I stopped at a jewelry stall. The moment I saw the silver ring with a ruby that had silver streak inside of the stone, I knew that was the one.
The jeweler man came over, when he saw then one that caught my eye. “It will not sell well for the stone is bad,” he said.
“But why is it looked down on so?” I asked.
“Because the stone has to be pure. This one isn’t.”
“Then I’ll buy it for this one for to me it is beautiful.” and with that I gave him a silver coin and took the ring. I took the chain from around my neck, slipped the ring on it and put it back on. It would be the perfect thing to give him.
I took Leda to the fish market to pick out some fish. As she went to look at some sea bass, I saw a man in the shadows walk toward her. I run to her as he grabbed her by the waist. I took hold of the back of his neck and pulled him away from her. He turned on me, but I had the sword out in a flash. I saw that this man was a monk in his orange robe.
“Leave the woman alone, you rotten bastard,” I spat.
He turned pale and then laughed. He snapped his fingers and twenty other monks appeared.
“What an interesting young man you are, pretty too. You would make a great new chino for the temple.”
Two of the other men grabbed Leda.
“And an exotically beautiful woman, now be a good boy and come with us or we’ll have to kill her and take you by force. Come by our little plaything boy, and she can go free.”
I looked over to Leda. Her expression was enough to tell me she was scared and was frozen with terror.
I looked back to the monk.
“Be a good boy and put the sword down.”
I shook my head. “I would rather die.” I spat out. Then I charged at him. I hit him with the sword and then they all came as me. Soon I dropped the sword and started fighting with my fists. When most of them were down I went to Leda I knocked out the men that held her and pushed her away.
Blood was oozing out of my wounds and into my eyes from a cut on my forehead. “GO!” I yelled at her, “Go home! Run away!” as she started to run she grabbed my hand, but men from behind grabbed me and pulled me back. She turned and started back, but I yell, “Run Leda! Run!” I screamed. I screamed it as I tried to fight the men off. I screamed to her to keep running even as they had me on the ground. I screamed even after she was gone.
They hit and kicked me till their leader told them to stop. I couldn’t move and I couldn’t even make a sound. They loaded me on to one of their carts and started away from the town, quickly. The people did nothing to stop them.
I passed out from the pain and blood loss. When I woke next I was chained to a wall. I couldn’t move or make a sound and the room was dark and only a small widow was cut out for air that had rusted bars. The air smelled of foul decay and mold. It was stale and hard to breathe.
I was covered and smelled of dried sweat and blood.
I didn’t know how long had passed till three of the monks came to my prison. They bared my back and lashed at me with whips. Cut me with the dull sides of their blades and beat me for days on end. Finally I would pass out and they would leave disappointed with their new torture-toy. For I would not cry out or even make a sound as the hurt me.
It was days before they came back. And every now and then a servant would come and give me some water and food, as well as clean my wounds secretly.
I hung there on the wall, blooding and cold. Time passed, and then more time past. Wounds heal only to be wrenched open again by the soiled hands of the monks. I stared through my long hair the hung over the front of my body to cover it and looked at the wooden door.
The lock clicked and the door opened and shut quickly as a little boy came in to give me some water. He looked no more than twelve and he was a pretty young child.
“Here,” he said holding up the water to my face.
I drank slowly letting it moisten my dry and cracked lips, and my parched throat. It flowed cool and icy, like the water from a well and the taste was heaven in this hell.
He took the cup away after I had drunk the water.
“Thank you,” I whispered. I couldn’t even talk anymore.
He smiled up at me.
And I made friends with him. He told me tales and stories of his life here and most of them were about his time here as a chino. I learned a chino was a boy servant that is use to give the monks pleasure, because they had vows not to sleep with woman. I had made a face the said ‘yuck’ and the boy had laughed. He said it wasn’t so bad. I had learned his name was Yukui.
But my hours of torture still hung over my head. They came every morning and every night at the same time.
Weeks of this passed and then today the head monk came to see me I glared at him as he walked in.
“Well, well look at the pretty little boy now. Not so high anymore are you. You can barely lift your head. I think we’ll let you go to heal for a while, and then you will come to be our pretty little bed-warming toy. Don’t you think?” he asked smiling his nasty smile at me. Showing his blacken and yellowed teeth.
“Take him to the servants’ quarters,” he said leaving.
They unchained me and dragged me the servants’ house. The two that carried me dropped me on the stone floor of the kitchen and left.
Gasps of horror, and fear came from the woman, some of them started to cry. Men shook their heads and looked away. A young woman came to me and put her hand to my forehead.
“Dear Goddess, how could they do this?” she whispered in horror looking at my face. “Juan, Ryrie, take him to my room now,” she ordered.
Two of the men took me gently to her room and she ordered all the men to leave. She told the women to bring warm water and lots of cloth, then to leave.
“Young man, this is going to hurt,” she said.
I shook my head. “I…girl…” I said in a broken whisper.
She just shook her head. I was laying on my front so she started to cut away my clothes and when she saw my back she started to cry. But she still cut all my clothes off. And then she turned me over and did the same. When she saw my chest her eyes widened.
“You’re a girl,” she said in a whisper.
“Secret…must…not…tell them…monks. Or the …others” I begged, wheezing.
She nodded. She cleaned my body and then dressed me in a robe. She laid me in a bed and covered my body.
“I am going to tell Master Shinto about you. You do not have to worry he is a kind man, not like those evil monks. Heal so he can help you.” and on her last words I fell in to a deep dreamless sleep.


*~*~*~*~*~*


A month passed before I could get up and start to walk and heal, that was the first time I met Master Shinto. He had a plan to let me escape the temple.
I had to stay close to the servants’ house and out of the sight of any monks. I walked with a slight limp, but it went away soon. I helped out whenever I could and it wasn’t much, but it gave me peace of mind.
One day on my third week here I saw a small garden with flowers and plants a little ways behind the servant house. I walked around and smelled the flowers. Once again I had found a piece of heaven in this hell. I spent the rest of day just sitting there and blocking everything for my spinning mind. As the sun started to sit an old man came in the garden and sat next to me.
“Hello,” I said, watching the sun.
“Hello,” he said. He watched the sun too.
When the sun sat I looked to him. He was bald and had a kind wrinkled face, like a grandfather.
“Who are you? I’m Ash,” I said with a smile. Though he was wearing robes of a monk his were white not orange. Plus there was no way he could be bad.
“It is nice to meet you Ash. I am Master Shinto,” he said with a smile. So head was the head monk.
“This is a beautiful garden. I love flowers.”
“Yes, yes it is. It was my Master’s a long time ago.”
We talked for a while, but soon I had to go or Kali would have killed me for not coming back. It was almost like having an older sister.
“I have to go Master Shinto, but I hope I can meet you again here.”
“You shall if you wish,” he said with another smile, “Good night, Ash.”
I went back to the servants’ quarters and to my room I shared with kali.
I met Master Shinto every day I could in his garden after that. He would sit among his plants and we would talk of anything that came to mind. Some days I would spend with Kali just to hear her voice and to watch what she was doing. One night I even went outside and walked in a field of fireflies. I stood as they danced around me in circles and lit up the world like fireworks. I lifted out and hand and they danced around it making happy little buzzes.


*~*~*~*~*~*


Another month passed before I was healed completely. All my wounds were healed and only some left scars. But most of my back was covered in them. It was smooth to the touch, but Kali said they were deep looking and angry red colored. I did my best to get fit for the journey I would soon be placed on.
But over those two months I had thought of Leda and Kail. How was he and what had happened to her? Did she die, did they catch her, or was she okay? Then I turned my thoughts, as too what would do after I was safely away.
I found during my time here Kali was a kind and sweet lady. She was only ten years old then I and she was pretty. She was here as a favor to the master, because she was his granddaughter. She worked in a fancy high up brothel in the Imperial City. She took good care of me and treated me well.
Then came the day in my third month here I was to leave. I went to Master Shinto’s rooms and he gave me money and a letter of proof so I would be safe. I tied them into the pack Kali had given me, and then someone came knocking on master’s door.
“Hide,” he whispered to me. I hid in the next room, watching through the bamboo curtain.
“Where is our new chino master? I heard from one of the other chino that he came here. We want to have some fun with the pretty boy.”
“As you can see there is no one here, but me. So you may leave.” master said.
The monk left.
“You must leave now!” Master Shinto told me in a hurry. “Use the window!”
I went out his window and to the back yard. A monk spotted me so I jumped from a box to the top of the wall and jumped to the ground on the other side of the wall. I heard the monks yelling. “He flew over the wall like a demon! Chase him!”
I ran for two days hiding in the woods and sleeping up in the trees. I tried everything, but they still followed me. I hid up in the trees and close to the underbrush. On the second night I was in a bamboo grove and I nearly jumped out of my skin at a croak of a frog. I slumped to the ground and breathed in deep. I rolled over and fell asleep under the moon and stars, to the smell of fresh plants.
On the third day I stopped for a break and heard the barking of the monks’ dogs.
I jumped up from where I sat by the stream and ran. I ran though the forest and across fields. Long grasses flooded around me and fire flies hopping into the air like horses and flying away. I ran hearing their shouts of fury and rage, then I heard one yell; “Let the dogs loose! They’ll get him.”
Barking came closer to me and I was getting tired fast. My breath coming in ragged gulps and sweat soaking my clothes, the breeze making me shiver. And just as the dogs caught up to me, I fell to the ground.
A horse coming running from the woods to the east and didn‘t seem to see me. It stepped on my shoulder pressing it into the ground with a crunch, I screamed as it stepped on me and the first dog sank its teeth in to the tender flesh of my leg. Ripping and chewing.
“Whoa!” the man yelled on top of the horse as it reared back. “Hey Gen! Come here there’s a person on the ground, I don’t know if my horse stepped on him. Come find out,” he yelled over his shoulder.
Another man rode up on a horse as the other dogs caught up and tried to bite me. I hit the first one off weakly, as the man came over and swatted the dogs away. They stepped back glowing and snapping at him.
“Hey can you hear me?” this Gen asked. “Are you hurt?” it pressed a finger to where the horse had stepped on me.
“Yes…” I hissed out in a painful breath.
“Is it a girl?” the other one asked, the one whose horse had stepped on me.
The monks’ yells had caught up to and I saw that they were only a few yards away.
Gen turned to look at them as they came closer. “What is it you want,” he asked them.
“We want our boy back,” the one replied. He was short and fat. His long dingy yellow fingernail pointed at me.
I clung to this Gen with all my might. “I’m not theirs. I was kidnapped. I'm not their slave or servant!” I said between ragged breaths. My hands were covered in sweat and slipped so I grabbed harder at his robes.
“We just want our chino back. He ran away from our temple, you see. And-” I cut him off with my cries.
“NO! I’m not theirs! Save me.” I begged.
This Gen took me in his arms and pressed my face to his chest. I didn’t know if he planned on giving me up to them or not. If he did that would mean a gate worse than death for me.
“He doesn’t seem to be your slave or servant, so you may leave.” This Gen said.
“But-” the monks said, arguing.
“I said he is not yours! Now leave!” he yelled at them.
Dejected the monks turned away and cursed walking back towards the temple.
I sobbed into his chest as he sat on the ground with me in his arms.
“Well is it a girl or not?” he asked, and I felt his face close to mine.
“No, it just appears to be a very pretty young man.”
“A pity. So Gen what are you going to do with him now?” asked his friend, obviously now not interested, by me being a boy as they both thought.
“Me?! Isn’t this your fault? Why should I do anything?” Gen asked.
I tightened my grip on his kimono and pressed my face tighter to his chest. “Please help me…” I sobbed.
I need you to save me! I need you to take me somewhere safe! I begged in my mind.
He looked down at me and tightened his arms around me, then looked up to his friend, serious.
“Sen.…I’ll take care of him,” was all he said.
Thank God! Thank you so much… I’m safe.
“Good now that that’s taken care of you’re going to be late to your meeting with the counsel, if you don’t hurry.”
He got up with me in his arms, mounted his horse, carrying me as if I weighted nothing and started to ride away. I passed out before I could see his face.
My last thought, I’m safe…


*~*~*~*~*


When I woke I was in a futon…which means what happened last night and the past three months were real.
It wasn’t a dream. I was in ancient Japan and I had been beaten nearly to death more than once and I had escaped and been rescued by someone for the second time.
Not the best time of my life. Being taken back to ancient Japan was not my dream, but being able to give myself up for someone who may have cared for me was the best thing I could do and be happy with.
I looked at the ceiling and then got up from the futon. I pressed my palm to my forehead to stop the sickening rush. When it was over I looked around and I found a set of men’s clothing by the door. I noticed I was still wearing the men’s clothes given to me by Kali. I dressed into the men’s kimono, because I didn’t know where I was, so I might need to have more mobility to do what I need, and woman of this time don’t do those kinds of things here.
I opened the door and snuck out and ran right into the tall beautiful man that saved me from drowning. Kail Gen Fujiwara.
Maybe he was the one that had saved me last night…
I rubbed my head and bowed to him, feeling dizzy and it hurt so much I gasped in pain. He pulled me up immediately.
“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked me. He was angry, I could tell. I looked away from him. No one had ever been mad at me before.
I shock in fear at what he would do to me. Hit me? Slap me? Beat me?
“I-I’m sorry, I t-though I could do s-s-something,” I stuttered.
“You’re hurt. You should be resting,” he said. He placed a hand to my forehead and slid it down to my cheek.
Suddenly a wave of dizziness came over me and I collapsed. Before I hit the ground he caught me and took me up in his arms.
“This is why I told you to stay in bed. And sorry I still don’t know your name.”
I pressed my face into his chest. He was so warm and I felt light headed, almost fuzzy in the head.
“Ash. My name is Ash.” I said after a moment, trying to focus through the clouds in my mind. He still thought I was a boy so I might as well call myself by the name my mom called me before she died.
He laid me in the futon and covered me up. “My name is Kail Gen Fujiwara. Rest well…Ash.”
So he was the one who saved me before…it looks like he’s okay…
He touched my forehead softly and I drifted in to a deep sleep.


Chapter four
Hidden identities


Over the past three weeks I have been hiding who I was from him, but the harder I tried to stay away from him the closer I found myself. And as crazy as it sound as it sound, I was falling in love for the first time in my life. With a man who I thought I was a boy, no less!
I slapped my forehead and regretted it when I got a headache.
Damn! And double damn! I’m my own trader!
I went with him to his work at the palace and where he worked with the imperial records. Men wore tall funny looking hat and Kail wore one too; he said it told everyone he worked there.
As I went through so of the records, I found myself wondering if he could ever love me.
Once again I slapped my head and wished for some common sense. I was worse than a lovesick pup drooling on the shoes of my master!
I knew it would be impossible to get back to my time and it never really matter whether it was here or there. But now I know I was meant to be here. So here I would stay in the place I belonged.
But where is that?
A morning after a few weeks Kail and his friend they came to visit me at the house they stayed at while they worked over time for the Emperor, because Kail was also an adviser to the old geezer. I made tea and earlier I had made some small sandwiches.
They stared at them and asked what they were. I just told them to eat it and see. They did and then I spent an hour a answering questions on them and then they turned to talking about work.
I found out that his friends name was Sen Anika Date and they had been friends for twelve years and Kail was a year younger than him. They had become friends when Kail pulling an arrow out of Sen’s butt, because he was shot for taking an apple from a guard at the palace. A bow and arrow being the only thing the guard had at the time he tried to save his lunch, but the kid got away.
This made me laugh, and they smiled at my joy.
“Hey you know what Ash? Gin here used to be a ladies’ man. But look at him now going after young boys!” Sen said with a laugh. This made me look to Kail with wide startled eyes.
Kail turned red. “I was not and I am not! You’re giving him bad ideas!” Kail said, sounding mortified.
I watched them argue back and forth. It looked like they were having fun. They must be very close. But some of the things they were talking about didn’t make any sense to me. So I just stared at them fighting about what Kail was like and how that was Sen and not Kail.
Soon thought they stopped and looked at me. “What?” they asked together.
I waved them on. “Nothing really. Just that you two seem to be very close,” I said with a smile.
They both turned red.
“What,” Sen asked with mock aghast.
“Well you guys look like you’re having fun together. I’ve never been around people most of my life. No one’s ever even talked to me like this before and I’ve never seen someone act like this. It’s fun. You two look close maybe even past lovers?” I questioned. For some reason this seemed to be the wrong thing to say.
They both went even redder and then Sen broke out laughing. And Kail was left shocked and speechless.
“What? Did I say something funny?” I asked wanting to know why they acted this way.
Sen fell over laughing, his face turning blue and Kail got up and pulled me with him outside and closed the door. He tugged me quite hastily behind him.
He pulled me farther away from the room and stopped. Grabbing me by my arms,
“What are you doing?!” he yelled. “What were you thinking when you said those things?”
I flinched. “I’m sorry by lovers I meant like…like brothers…. I’ve never been around people…very often…in my life! I’m sorry…I didn’t mean…too!”
He hands were hurting my arms.
“You’re…hurting me,” I whispered.
He let go immediately and then took me in his arms. It was my turn to be shocked, by his actions.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Please forgive me I never meant to hurt you Ash,” he said softly, his voice muffled in my hair.
I nodded. We stayed like that for a while then he let go of me.
“We best get back.” I said and went back to the room. Sen was sitting there watching
as I came in.
“Did he yell at you? I thought so. You’re a pretty boy. Would you like the leave that horrible old man and come live with me? I would treat you better and be kind,” Sen asked.
“No thank you. I own Kail my life and it is his to do with what he wishes. And as for getting thing, I don’t need anything. He is kind enough to take care of me. No one has done that before, plus you‘re the rotten stinky old geezer not him.” I sat down and finished my tea.
I heard Sen Whisper under his breath “Looks like he found that ‘one special person for him‘.”
I looked at him, “Did you say anything?”
He smiled, “Nope not a thing.”
Kail came back later and just sat and had a cup of tea. He didn’t talk to me, but when Sen wasn’t looking he gave me a sweet secret smile.
For the rest of the night he talked to Sen and gave me smiles and when he was looking and I would smile back. For the first in my lifetime I was completely happy. I listen to things happening at court and what they did as far as their jobs. I understood most of what they said being that I had ran the family’s company for three years. Things seemed so lively.
When Kail left to get some more tea, Sen came to sit next to me.
“I’m guessing we have bored you?”
“No for the first time in my life I am completely happy,” I said patting him on the shoulder.
Before I even knew what he was doing he snagged me by the waist and pressed himself close to me.
“Are you sure you don’t want to become mine?” he breathed in my ear.
I sighed and pushed away from him “Yes I am sure. I am Kail’s to do whatever he wishes to do to me. And not be rude, but you just aren’t him. I love him.” I said quietly.
He nodded. “Even if he wants to do that to you?”
“Yes, if it is his wish. I have always had things my way before. Now I want to spoil him.
He deserves it.” I said, a bit confused.
“I see that’s how this is.” and with that Kail came back so we couldn’t talk anymore.
Then suddenly “Kail gives Ash to me.” Sen said.
I chocked on my tea and so did Kail.
“What?!” He asked surprised.
“Give Ash to me.” Sen said again.
I looked down not knowing what to do.
“No. I will not.” Kail said.
He was sitting so close to me I could feel the heat of his body. I felt his hand take mine.
I looked at his face, surprised, it was slightly red.
How I wish I could tell him I was not a boy, but a girl.
Sen sighed deeply and bowed to us. “Well then I must bid you goodnight,” he came over and whispered something in Kail’s ear.
“What?! What are you saying all of a sudden?!” Kail exclaimed as Sen left with a chuckle.
I tilted my head and studied his face. “What is it?”
He couldn’t look at me. “I’m all sweaty from today perhaps you can help with my bath? But I don’t need a full bath. A cloth bath is good.”
“Is that like a sponge bath?” I asked.
“Sponge? It’s where you wash off with a bowl of hot water and a cloth,” he said.
“So it is like a sponge bath. Okay I’ll go get the stuff.” I said and left to get hot water and some rags.
I brought back the rags and the bowl and sat them down.
“Okay take off that thing and let me start my work,” he slid the top of his kimono down to his waist and I started washing his back.
“What was your dream growing up?” I asked.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“What did you want to be? Dreams and things like that. Do you want to have children?
Or do you want to be this big important guy with nothing but work and money,” I asked.
“If you tell me yours I’ll tell my mine,” he stalled.
“Sure. My dream was to be free and find someone who won’t leave me. Someone that could love me too. I want children someday and as for getting married I want that too. But see as how I am. I know most of those won’t happen. Also my deepest wish is to have the one thing I’ve never had in my life,” I said coming around to his front to wash his chest and shoulders.
I swallowed, because one look of his body made mine feel all hot when I looked at it. I noticed that he was all muscle and had a six-pack. I came to his front again and touched them, not think of what I was doing. I had never since a man before without clothes on.
He just sat still.
“And what is that?” he asked softly.
“Love,” I said.
I worked for a while then paused. “Now yours.”
He nodded. “I wanted to be a normal man and be free growing up, but that can’t happen. I want to marry and have children if possible. And more than anything else I want love as well if I marry.”
I nodded. Then realized that I had been talking more like a girl then a boy.
When I was done I tugged on his kimono.
“Take the rest off so I can finish,” I said pulling his kimono.
He grabbed it from my hand saying “It fine you don’t need to!”
Somehow we ended up standing and wrestling over his kimono.
“I’m doing my job now sit and let me finish!” I said breathing heavily.
“I said it was fine! Let go!” he said.
Then as I stepped back the heel of my foot caught some water.
Thud!
I fell flat on my back with Kail on top of me. Then I felt why he didn’t want me to finish his bathing.
“You…” I said feeling that weird inside feeling again.
He looked away from my face and rolled off of me. He sat with his back to me.
“You...why? The monks were the same but-”
He cut me off by standing and yelling. “The feelings I have for you are LOVE! Not lust like those monks!”
I was speechless. “But…”
“Yes I want you,” he said through gritted teeth, “But out of love…not lust.”
He turned away from me.
He had said he loves me!
“Kail-” I started. But he stopped me.
“I’m sick and twisted. I know this is wrong, but I can’t help but feel this way-”
I cut him off by putting my hand over his mouth. “Kail…you’re not the only person who feels that way.”
“I know. You have the right to feel sick with me.” he said looking away.
I stood on the tips of my toes and pulled him down so my lips were touching his ear.
“No not that way. I love you. That’s how I feel.” I whispered in his ear.
He went still, frozen like a marble statue. “What?” it sounded as if something was chocking him.
I pulled back. “I said ‘I love you’. If you meant what you said then you have to make me believe it.” I said smiling.
“How?” he smoothed a hand over my back.
“You can kiss me if you love me.” I whispered.
He pressed him lips to mine in a gentle caress. He moved slowly and he licked my lips as well.
Is this is kissing? I never saw it before but I had heard of it from others. I like this kissing…it makes me feel as if I’m melting, but after kissing comes…
No I have to keep me being a girl secret or I can’t be with him anymore!
I pulled away from him and wrapped my arms around him.
“This is enough for tonight, Ash,” he said into my hair.
I nodded. As I started to walk off towards my room he stopped me.
“Ash, um if you want to you can…um,” he looked uncomfortable. “You can sleep with me tonight.”
I felt my heart jump and I walked over to him. “I…I would like that,” I said, shyly.
I have to be careful of him finding out that I was a girl though.
We went to his room and his dressed into a robe. While I changed into a thick robe in the other room. He laid in the futon and held the cover open for me.
I couldn’t find my mind was brought back through time so this would happen or what.
I have been tortured and I have almost died again yet to be saved by him twice. This is way I’m here, I decided.
We slept apart, but could still fill his warmth and he held my hand in his.
My last thoughts were his hand is so big and so warm. So nice and his smell…intoxicating.


 Chapter five
Change of heart


It was a week after Kail had told me that he loves me and I haven’t seen him since the night we slept together in the same futon. He has been working hard a week for a festival. But I couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t want me anymore.
I paced and read more of the diary. Anything I could think of to stop thinking, but I couldn’t.
This is what you get for falling in love! The torture of never knowing and the worries and the hope and all this madness.
I dropped to the ground and sighed. Kail had told me that he loves me, but the me he loves is a boy. He doesn’t know the real me the girl. He had saved me from drowning to death when I was taken back ancient Japan. He probably forgot about me, by now.
And I’m being a stupid worrywart.
He was only being nice to see me in when I was hurt. And I guess mother was the one person who was probably thinking I was a slave now or even dead. And I was glad to meet her. This friend of my mom’s, she was so kind and beautiful.
I sighed. A went over to my bag and pulled out the diary. It hadn’t been damaged coming back and it was the only thing I had left beside my jewelry I had hidden. I opened the diary.
I had stopped on. Page twenty.

Today was wonderful, I must tell you everything, but first I have to say I now know Japanese enough to understand him fully now. Kei has been most wonderful I have been here only three week, but I must confess I love him. He is my first love. But I can’t find the courage to tell him. But today he took me to see the gardens and as I smelled a flower he was smiling oh so sweetly, for he did not know I was watching. After that he had to go to work. But he came back as the sun was setting. We talked and had tea. He told me to wait a moment as he reached into his robes and pulled out a small silver hair clip that had two rubies in it. He said it was for me. I let him put it in my hair and as he did he whispered
something in my ear. He had said he loved me! I was still shy but I told him that I had
loved him as well. We stayed up way late and finally we had to go to bed. So he kissed me oh so sweetly and I wished that could have lasted only a little longer.

“Well, what are you reading?”
I slapped the book closed and jumped up to see Sen standing at the doorway.
“Nothing important. Why are you here?” I asked him.
“There was some things I wanted to ask you, is that okay?”
“Sure,” I said. I slipped the book into my robes and sat down. Sen sat down next to me.
“Ash, how old is you?” Sen asked.
“Sixteen,” I said puzzled. Why would he ask me this?
He looks surprised. “You’re only that old?”
I felt a prick of annoyance. “What does that mean?” I asked.
He waved his hands. “I didn’t mean it like that, but you look younger than that. And you’re beautiful so that added to that. Kail will love to hear of this. Of course we must come up with a plan for you two at the festival.” he said rubbing his hands together.
“Oh, no! No way. From what I’ve heard of you from the servants, I would rather not. I plan to serve Kail that day, like I do every day.”
“He really loves you. I have an idea to help you with him.”
He got up and came over to me. He came so close I started to back up. When my back hit the wall, he put his hands on either side of my head.
“W-what is y-you doing?” I asked.
He didn’t say anything, but simply started to lower his head to mine.
Is he going to kiss me?!
“No!” I yelled as I smacked him.
He fell backwards, holding a hand to his mouth. The corner of his mouth was bleeding.
I felt tears start in my eyes, but I looked down on frostily him from where I was standing.
“You shouldn’t make advances on other people who do not want them. You…you…you pervert! Just suddenly going up to me to kiss me! The nerve! Aren’t you a man? Why can’t you acted like a one?! I really hate men like you!” I yelled at him. Then I stopped, shutting my mouth closed with a snap.
I just looked at me in bemuse silence, and then his shoulders started to shake. Next thing I know he rolling around on the ground laughing.
“I don’t know what you said, but you sounded pissed. I guess I get with you meant. You really are the best choice for his odd love.”
I froze realizing what he said and what I said. He couldn’t understand me because I had been speaking Spanish.
I had slipped into it so easily! I just slipped in to Spanish so easily! What will I do…?
Then Sen stopped laughing suddenly. He looked at me pointedly. “Now I know why you seemed so…girlish and beautiful. So beautiful you could not be a man. That’s because you are a girl.” he smiled.
He gaze shifted from my face and stared going down my body and stopped on my chest. “No one would ever tell you were a girl under all that cloth, Ash,” he said.
I crossed my arms over my chest. Feeling as if he was looking through it.
“Now that you know what are you going to do about it?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
I stopped surprised. “Nothing?”
“That is of course you are willing to go along with my plan,” he said setting down with another cup of tea.
I shook my head I knew it had to be something like that. “Before I agree to anything I want to know you’re plan.” I said sitting again but as far away from him as I could be.
“It’s simple. There is a girl I am in love with, but as you see, she hates me. I want you to get her to like me instead of hating me.”
“If you haven’t noticed but love isn’t really my thing. I’ve fallen in love now and have had that loved returned. But even I believed love is evil and will end in nothing but hollowed despair. I have fallen in love and I know that it will end the same for me as my parents, but I am willing to let that happen for I would never trade this feeling. But as you can see even if I love I am in pain. And thought I am doing this to him I cannot stop.
But I can save you from this feeling.”
He looked out the door that led out to a small garden and smiled sadly. “I am already in love so I already have those feelings, but no matter what I want to keep them. So even if I am doomed to pain I want her, because I love her. Having her will mean I will have to have no pain any longer.”
He looked at me then. “I believe you know more of this then anyone but please help me.
Because you are a girl you can go without any problems. I need you to go to where she lives. Stay there for a while and convince her. I need her.
I smiled a wistful smile. “Then for you I will do this, but what will we do about Kail? How will I explain to him why I will not be here? And will you not tell him about me?” I asked.
“I thank you with all I have. And I will not tell him, but tell me why you will not?” he asked.
“It is easier to love him like this, because this way I can always be by his side. If I were the girl named Ash, I would be taken away from him and taken somewhere else, where I couldn’t see him anymore. I would be raised there and then married to someone I don’t know and hate. Or I could be worked to death in more ways than one.” I said with a shiver.
He was silent for a long time, and then he sighed. “I can see what you mean, but your plan has holes in it. He will have to find out sometime. Now as for my plan you will need to leave tonight. Go out and buy some girl stuff and pack it. Beware of who is around you at all times. I’ll meet you here later after I take care of Kail.” and with that he left.
I took the gold coins from my bag and hid them in the front of my kimono. I should have enough for everything. I went out the servant entrance in the mansion and found myself on the streets of the Imperial City. I walked around trying not to draw to much attention to myself. And to my luck no one noticed me.
I first made my way to a clothing shop and entered. They had so many fine clothes.
An older lady walked up to me. “May I help you young man?” she asked in a kind voice.
“Yes, please I may look for something that would fit my twin sister. She looks just like me and she is about the same size.” I said.
She nodded. “Such a nice older brother you must be…now let me see…” she said as she walked off to look at the colors of the clothes. “”Here we are!” she said with pride as she showed me two women’s kimonos.
One was a pale baby blue with roses and water lilies on it and the other was different colors of soft green and blue, with the pattern of dragon on it. They were both beautiful and the highest quality of silk.
“These are perfect,” I said.
She smiled with pleasure at the complement. “Thank you, “she said.
I paid for everything, tying it in to my pack and went to a beauty shop. I bought lip color, cheek color, eye paint, hairpins, and fans. When I was done I went to a jewelry shop. I bought a thin silver chain to replace the one the monks had broke and then I went back to the mansion thought the servants entrance.
I went to my room and sat out everything.
A knocking sounded at my door. “Who is it?” I asked.
“It’s Kail,” said the voice from the other side of the door.
I hurried to cover everything and then sat down with a cup of tea.
“You…can come in Kail.” I said.
He came in and closed the door behind him. He sat down in front of me.
“I heard from Sen that you were going somewhere for a while.”
“Yeah I am, but I’ll be back as soon as I can, I promise. I want to stay here, but first there is something I have to do if I am going to stay.” I said.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
I’m not really sure of that…ha-ha…
“To visit an old friend I haven’t seen in a very long time,” I lied. Please forgive me.
“Okay. Be sure to come back safe.”
“I will,” I whispered just before his lips took mine. When he was done I sat on his lap hugging him for a while. Then I knew Sen would be coming soon.
“I have to leave soon…I’m sorry…even though this is the first time I saw you since that night.” I felt tears pool in my eyes. “I thought you were using your work as a way to avoid me…I thought maybe you had changed your heart.” the tears slipped from my eyes unchecked.
He hugged me to him chest and squeezed my tightly, making me wish I could stay there forever.
“Never,” he promised.
He let me cry my eyes out and then he left with one more kiss.
Soon Sen showed up and I was ready to go.
As we rode our horses I asked him where it was I was going.
“To the Imperial Palace. She’s the daughter of the head general. Her seventeenth
birthday will be on the day of the festival.” was all he said.
We stopped at the gates to the Imperial palace. “There will be one of my guards there to help you if you need it, but remember you can’t let anyone know who you are. This is where we part.”
I rode my horse to the stables and took my bag. I walked to the servant’s quarter and there I found the maid from Sen mansion sent to help me. I was whisked away to a big fancy room for me, as I would a noble lady in the palace. They dressed me into the pale blue kimono and left on my order. I put on the make up in a style I used to wear back in the twenty first century. Then I took my hair out of its tie and let it fall down my back.
Now it nearly touched the floor, only an inch or two.
I slipped on my slipper shoes and grabbed a sliver fan.
Now I was ready to find this girl Sen was in love with. Then I realized he hadn’t told me her name.
“That idiot,” I grumbled.
I walked out of me room and walked around till I found a room with other rich looking women. I walked up to the youngest one I saw that looked about my age. She was standing all alone in a corner.
“Hello, I am Lady Ashlynn,” I said as I walked up to her.
She looked around and then at me, seeing I was the one talking to her.
She bowed. “I am Lady Momoko,” she said looking a little confused.
I smiled at her. “Would you like to talk? I think I’m lost and you look as if there is something bugging you.”
She smiled to. “Okay,” she said.
We walked back to a room, which I was guessing was hers.
“I know you don’t know me, but I’m really a nice person. And all the other women in that room looked mean.” I said with a laugh.
She giggled. “Yes they do. I’m the general’s daughter and I’m higher than them rank so they hate me. Also there was this man who was my childhood friend, who I love, and who was always with me, till he got a job somewhere away from here a year ago. He was always nice and he was friends with the Imperial record keeper. They were jealousy of how he treated me. I never had the courage to tell him I loved him before I left. I was kind of mean to him.”
“Wow. I have someone I love but they don’t know who I really am. What’s your love’s name?” I asked her.
“His name is Sen.” she said with a smile she said his name with love.
So this was her. She pretty too lucky guesses…
“I know Sen,” I said, “I like him a lot. He’s a good guy. We’ve known each other for a while. We’re close.”
She looked down. “Is that so…”
“What wrong?” I asked.
“You must be his fiancé then,” she said.
“What the?! No way! The man I love is his best friend Kail. You can have Sen.” I said a bit too loudly.
She laughed then. “Thank goodness.”
“Anyway I want us to be friends,” I said.
She nodded and talked about our loves.


 Chapter six
Mission complete


I almost dragged myself back to my room, but decided that it may be best to kill over only once I was in my rooms.
How do they do this? If this is the kind of thing women and girls do all night I want nothing to do with it.
Hour on hour of talking to her of Sen almost made me sick.
He was nice, but under that he was evil. And I didn’t really know what to do…but she seemed happy.
I sigh warily as I sat down. It was for Sen and Momoko. I wanted them to be happy. I sighed again and poured myself a cup of tea. It was late. Almost midnight I dare guess. I undressed and clean the entire make up off my face.
I wondered now what to do. It was obvious that she loved him and went he left a year ago she was lonely. So now I knew that they both loved each other it was a matter of getting them together.
Back in this time period they didn’t date it went…. to where?
I sighed and fell asleep on the floor before even making it to the bed.
Over the next few days I spent all my time with Momo at Court and thought so hard my head felt like a ticking time bomb.
“The women of Court are so mean!” I laughed as we walked out of a room where men and women were talking. We had sat there only for a few minutes when they started to whisper about us and questioning who I was. They thought I was either a maid of Momo’s, a foreign princess, a bastard child of the Emperor, Momo’s half sister and one even came up with the stupid idea of me being a mermaid come to find a husband.
“I know! But they are stupid. They can’t help it that they grew up like that you have to feel sorry for them,” Momo said.
“Sorry, but I just can’t.”
We laughed and she took me out to a garden and we took off our slippers and dipped our toes in the water.
“You know,” she said looking out to the sky, “I really missed him. Father hated him to death though. He hates everyone, even my mother. Just once I would like to see him be a coward.”
That night I took her to her room and went back to mine. I undressed and went to bed, but my mind ran in circles around Momoko and Sen.
this isn’t the time to forget! Think! Think...Marriage! They can get married!
I dressed swiftly and moved like a shadow to Momoko’s room. I went in without knocking. She was in bed. “Momo,” I said into her ear.
She sat up. “What?”
“I have an idea of how to get you together with Sen. Permanently.” I said grinning.
Her eyes widened. “Really?”
“Yes, all you have to do is marry him.” I explained.
She was nodding. “How do I do that?”
“Not you, but me. I will talk to your father.” I said.
“You can’t! He will be mad!” she said.
“No he will not. He will bow down in pleasure when he lays eyes on the Princess of Spain. A far away country that has weapons he couldn’t dream of.” I said. Never have I been so glad of my bloodline.
Her eyes grow wide. “You’re a princess?!”
“Yes. I will tell your father I wish to see you married my dear friend, to my charge Sen of the Date family. He will have no choice but to go with it.”
She started to smile then and then she jumped on me. “Oh thank you! Thank you! My dream is coming true!”
“Yes and until you are married you will stay with me.” I said, not knowing how to do that one yet.
I told her at first light I would go talk to her father.
I slept little for I was excited to see her happy.
As the sun rose I dressed in a long kimono of black, silver, and red. Did my make up so
that I loved like a beautiful and deadly dragoness and went to get Momo.
I’m going to make her wishes come true.
She was ready and she led me to her father’s rooms. She knocked and entered.
Motioning me to follow. My head dress tilted back little. I set it right and adjusted the vile that covered half my face.
Her father sat at a small table having tea. Then he saw her.
“What is the meaning of this? Momoko!” he yelled at her. “Why did you come here and with…?”
His yell died in his mouth as he looked at me. Speechless.
Momo had tears in her eyes, and I could tell she was afraid of him. I held out my hand to her.
She took it and I gave her hand a squeeze.
“Lord Zen Tu, I greet you humbly.” I said, not bowing.
Momo spoke up. “Father this is Princess Ashlynn Miri Mira De Rose. She is the heir of Spain.” her voice was loud, but shaky.
His mouth dropped open and then he bowed deeply.
Even snakes can smile, but it does not mean you trust them.
“Your Imperial Highness, I had no idea…I did not mean to disturbed you.” he said in a rush.
The fearsome man before me was a mess of nerves. Oh how I wanted to laugh. What a spineless weak hearted man. He’s nothing more than a bully.
“It is not me you should apologize to, but ,my dear Momo, here. I take it you are her father?” I asked.
He nodded. He turned to her. “I am truly sorry for yelling at you,” he said. “Your Highness please sit, what may I do for you?” he asked.
We sat down across from him. I still held her hand.
“Lord Zen Tu I wish has your daughter married to my charge as soon as possible. He is a dear friend I have looked as for some time and wish to see married soon. When I met your daughter some time ago I believed her perfect for him. I will pay her price of course. And I do love her as a sister. If she marries him she will be quite close to me.” I said looking at him straight in the eyes.
He looked pale. “My daughter? Who is this man if I may ask?”
“His name is Sen Akaka Lynn Date. He is the heir to the wealthy and noble Date family. He is worth the same as the emperor with my backing. He is only twenty two years old.”
He looked at Momo but she looked at only me. He looked into my eyes.
“You wish for my only daughter to be married off to a man she does not know? Are you that cruel, your Imperial Highness?” I looked into his eyes and saw the same coldness I had saw when he looked at his daughter.
Cruelty was what he wanted.
“Yes I am. For I was brought for a bride, but it was a pity he died on our first meeting,” I said to him as a warning. He took it to heart for I knew my glare scared even those who would never cry out even in a painful death.
He nodded. “As you wish. She is yours to marry off to whom you want. Her price does not matter to me for I care nothing for her, take her. I wish you to best, Imperial Highness.”
“Good. Now sign this paper to hand her over to me and you will no longer have to see her again.” I said in a cold tone as I pulled out the contracted I made the night before.
He picked up a pen but I stopped him. I held out my hand for his. He gave it to me. I cut the pad of his fourth finger. And the same for Momo and mine. She flinched as her father did at the pain, I did not.
I made them sign it in blood and then I took Momo with me as I left. But before I did I give Lord Zen Tu a black rose.
When we were in my rooms I set to having everything packed.
She laughed. “Never in my life have I seen that man so scared! And now I am free to marry my love. So can you!” she said giving me a hug.
I sighed. “For me it is not that easy.” I said.
She stopped and sat with me, her face confused. “What do you mean, my friend?”
I told her my story of my life and when I was done she was pale. Then she gave me a hug.
“Now I understand. Even now about Sen. So the man you loved saved you once as a girl, and then you gave yourself for his mom. You were tortured, then escaped and he saved you again but as a boy. So you have fallen in love with him and he you but as a boy?” she cleared.
“Yes, he believes me a boy.”
“Then you need to tell him you are a girl. But at the right time, then.” she advised.
I shook my head. “If I tell him then I can’t always be with him. If I am a girl here they will take me way and marry me to someone I hate or work me to death.”
“Well who said anyone else has to know besides him? You can be a girl just for him and a boy for everyone else.”
I opened my eyes to see she was right. I could tell him.
“But how will he forgive me for deceiving him like this?” I asked.
“I just know he will, but if you want to tell him or not is your to decide.”
That night as Momo slept on my bed I opened a door from my room and stared at the mountains and moon. One was so large and strong just like Kail and the other had two sides. One in light and one in darkness switching as day came, just like me.
When I thought of Kail it made me wish I was in his arms and receiving his sweet kisses.
And as I thought of telling him my chest hurts. I hope he would forgive me for keeping it from him.
With a sigh I closed the door and went to sleep.


*~*~*~*~*


I had everything packed and when it was done I called for a carriage and a horse. Momo was loaded into the carriage and I rode on the horse in my boy’s clothes.
Momo made a fuss about not being able to ride with me but I point out that right now I was a guy and she said, “Good point,” and hopped in.
So we left for the mansion.
I had sent Sen servants ahead the morning before.
One week. A new friend and a mission complete. Now for my own problem. How will I explain it all to Kail…?
I have had fun the last week and made a new friend; I had missed Kail very much. But I was still scared to tell him about me. But I must! And I will.
“And in just a few hours I will be able to see him,” I whispered under my breath with a silly grin. I felt as if my face would crack in two, as my heart would jump out of my chest.

Chapter Seven
I can see the truth in your eyes


I rode ahead of the carriage and soon saw the gates of the mansion. I rode in the gates and jumped from my horse. I laid my head against her neck listening to her breathing as, I stroked her mane.
I heard someone come towards me only to find myself picked up and squeezed to a large chest.
I wiggled in the arms that held me and looked up to see Kail’s smiling face. His silver eyes looking over my face as if check to see I was all there.
He bent down and kissed me. “Welcome back,” he said with another smile. “I’ve missed you.”
I stepped back from him and put a finger pointed at his chest. “Now you know how I felt without seeing you for a week. Any who there’s a surprise I brought back with me. Her name is Momoko and she the daughter of the General. She’s the friend I went to see. Is it okay if she stays here for a while? I don’t think I want her staying with Sen,” I pointedly.
He nodded understanding and looked sheepish. “She is welcome here as long she is your friend.”
“Thank you, Kail. When is the festival you have been planning?”
“It’s in four days.” he said looking into my eyes meaningfully.
I felt a pain pierce my heart for the lies I have told him.
All well be right soon.
“Her carriage will be here soon so I have a welcome back gift for you.” I said, smiling.
“And what may that be?” he asked puzzled.
“Close your eyes and I’ll show you.” I said.
He closed his eyes. I stood on my tiptoes and put my arms around his neck. I pressed my lips to his and gave him a good sound kissing.
When I opened my eyes I saw that he was shocked. Even so he couldn’t speak and his face had turned a bright pink.
“That’s your gift, but remember, you own me for welcoming you last time.” and with that I walked my horse to the stables and went to the gate as her carriage pulled in.
I went to the carriage and opened the door. I held up my arms and she jumped into them, giggling and laughing. I set her down.
“How was the ride?” I asked her.
“Boring, but not so bad. Now where is Kail-sama?” she asked.
I took her by her hand and led her to Kail. When she saw him her mouth dropped open. I closed it for her with my other hand.
“Kail, this is my best friend Momo. Momo this is Kail.” I dropped Momo’s hand. I walked over to Kail and whispered in his ear. “Your mine so doesn’t get any ideas.”
His cheeked stained with red. I went back down on my feet and walked over to Momo.
“Anyway we best put you in my room,” I said to her.
“But then where will you sleep?” she asked.
“Don’t worry I have somewhere I can stay for a while. So let’s get you settled in and I’ll send for Sen.”
And so she and the servants went off to unpack her things in my old room. I turned to Kail.
“Can I stay in your rooms?” I asked him.
He nodded and walked away swiftly. But before I saw him turn I could swear his cheeks were bright red.
I went off to send for Sen, but it turned out that I had to go to his mansion and drag him here.
He was nervous for seeing her and I told him she knew about me like him.
He seemed happy about that and when he got to the mansion the two stuck together to talk. I didn’t see them till nightfall, so I practiced with my sword and read more of the diary. It turned out that Kail’s mom was more active then I had thought.
When night fell I ordered a maid to bring food to Kail’s room.
I sat at the little table in his room he used as a desk and saw paper and ink. I took one of the quills I made and dipped it in to the ink. I pulled a small paper from the stack and
started to write a letter.
When I finished the letter I folded it and held it over the candle intending to burn it. It had felt good to write it all down. But instead I placed it in my robes. Soon the food was here and I started to eat my supper.
Kail came in soon and was surprised to see me.
“Kail, may I request that I may sleep with you tonight?” I asked.
He blushed. “You can do whatever you wish here.”
He was so sweet and I could tell that he loved me more than I knew. I was hurting him by keeping my secrets from him.
That’s when I decided that I was going to tell him the night of the festival.
I dressed for bed hiding the letter in the wrappings around my chest that hid a goodly sized amount of breast.
I laid in the futon and was quickly asleep. But before I heard him come to the futon and lay next to me I swear I had him murmur. “I finally have him back by my side.”


*~*~*~*~*


Over the next few days I didn’t see Kail, but I heard him come in during the night and lay down to sleep. I watched over Momo and Sen and saw that they truly were in love, yet for some reason Sen still kept a safe distance from Momo and she looked somewhat disappointed because of this. She seems to become depressed.
Late on the second night I caught Momo by the hand and half pulled, half dragged her to the bathhouse.
I sighed as I slipped off my clothes and unwrapped the wrap around my chest. I untied my hair and then sat in the tub of freezing water. It was heaven. The moment she sank into her bath she sighs in pleasure.
Her’s must be warm. I turned to look at her. “I was thinking that maybe that I’ll tell Kail at the festival. I mean about me being a girl…I want him to know and I decided that if he hates me, nothing would change for me. And I was thinking of telling him everything. What do you think?” I asked wringing my hands in the water and looking down. Then I looked at her.
She wore a smile, a small smile that said I-understand-what-you-mean. All she did was nodded.
So I took it as a yes and do it. I nodded to myself. Soon the baths were over and I did my wrap and dress in a night robe. I said good night to Momo on parting ways and I went to Kail’s room. I lay down and stared at the roof, wondering what Kail was doing.
Soon or later I rolled on to my side and closed my eyes. A few minute later I heard the rolling of the room door and the creak! Of the floor as it gave way to the weight of a man. I heard the rustle of clothes falling to the floor and then I felt the futon shift as he lay down behind me. He smoothed a hand down my hair and kissed my neck.
I turned in to his chest and sighed. I felt his arms tighten around me. I looked up at him and smiled.
“Hello,” I said sleepily.
He was smiling down at me like a little kid who had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar and smoothed the hair away that had fallen in my face.
“Hello,” he said.
“What have you been doing?” I asked.
“I was working on the plans for the festival in a few days. During the festival I am to bring the Emperor to an open building where he can watch it. It is one of his favorite festivals of the year. I was thinking that you could come and watch the festival with me. Do you want to?” he asked.
I nodded.
We talked some more and then I fell asleep. But I heard him promise that he would spend more time with me once the festival was over.
The next few days passed fast and then came the day of the festival. I dressed Momo and she was so happy to be going with Sen. I dressed in my men’s kimono and tied my hair back with a cord of leather.
Momo left with early and I stayed back with Kail. His was working on a paper, when he was done I asked if he wanted help in dressing for the festival and he said no. I could tell he was embarrassed, but by what I was not sure.
Maybe he thought it would be the same as that time I gave him a bath…
Thinking about it my face flush with color. When he was done dressing I walked over to him and gave him a hug. Today is the day I tell him about me.
“Come the festival starts.” I followed behind him holding onto a fold of his kimono. We rode to the Imperial Palace and my eyes widened when I as the Emperor’s company.
There had to be at least a hundred people. Kail rode beside the emperor’s carriage and I beside him.
Kail leaned over to me to whisper in my ear. “Beware of people who sneak around today. There have been attempts on the emperor’s life lately so it’s my bet they would try today.”
I nodded.
It was close to starting time for the festival and the sun was already setting. We arrived at the place for the emperor and he was taken inside. As I dismounted I saw a man look at the emperor and ran around the corner of the building. I gave my horse to Kail told him I would be back and went after the man. I followed him to the back of the building and to an underground passage under the building. I waited to make sure I would be seen to go in the passage he did. I followed in the cold stone passage and came to a curve that led into a big stone chamber. I peeked through a crake in the small wooden door. The room was small and lit by three paper lanterns.
I heard voices of men.
“Today will be the last day the emperor will live.”
“Yes, when the two of our men knock out the emperor and his adviser Kail we’ll light the building aflame and they will burn to death.”
“Long Su Chang the men have told me that they locked the room the emperor is in.”
I listened to them and heard they’re plans. It seemed that they needed him dead to start a new government.
And they were willing to do it at any cost.
I heard running coming into the chamber and a breathless voice say, “They are all out!
Start the fire!”
They were going to kill everyone else in this building! I have to save Kail!
I ran out of the passage way back to the back of the building. I found a way in through the back servant’s door. I warned everyone I saw and soon I smelled the smoke of the fire. Flames were set to the south side of the building.
Damn it! Where are they?!
I ran room to room and soon the fire was only a few feet away and smoke burned my eyes and my lungs. I went from room to room yelling his name in vain for he would not answer. Then I found the room. I broke the door down with a kick to the frame and saw that the emperor and Kail lying sprawled out on the floor.
I breathed in relief, but then the grinding and creaking of the wooden roof sounded in distress. I pulled one of them over each shoulder with a huff and started to find my way out. But the only way out was thought the way I came. The fire was everywhere I looked. It ate the wall and climbed over the floors, taunting me with its red eyes. As if to say it had me.
I started on my way carrying Kail and the other man on my back. I felt the fire lick my skin, in a caress of blistering pain. But I didn’t stop. I used my body to protect Kail and the emperor as much as possible from the fire. It licked at my skin and kissed my face, as if it were my lover.
It was getting harder to breath. Walls of fire wrapped around me, but never did I falter. I pressed on, for Kail and for the life we could have.
Then a beam crasher to the floor sending ashes and embers into my eyes. I cried out in pain, a broken sob of agony begging for mercy, but kept walking I did. My vision was fading, giving way to black and gray smudges and flashes of colors, but I heard the yells of people close in front of me, so I must have been close.
I looked through the flames of the final firewall before we crossed through it and I felt the bite of icy air on my skin. I went as far as I could before I collapsed and the last thing I saw was the black night sky and its shining stars.
I did it…Kail…


*~*~*~*~*


I slowly became aware of what was happening but my eyes were so heavy that I couldn’t open them. I heard people talking in a buzz but the one voice I focused on was the one closet to me.
“He seems be burned on most of his body. We need to remove his clothes and treat his wounds. The others can wait he has the worse!” he voice was like steel but kind too.
I felt them tugging on my clothes. I wanted to stop them to yell no but I couldn’t. When he had removed my clothes I heard him say “It’s a female!” and after that I fell asleep again.
Like when I had first come here I drifted in and out of sleep. But I couldn’t remember what I saw or what I heard. All I knew was that I felt as if my skin had been peeled from my body and burned back in place. It felt worse than when the monks had beaten me. And I knew my vision was dark and clouded.
Then suddenly on night I had a dream of what happened again. The fire eating me burns me to ashes. It ripped me away from Kail and let me burned. And long after the fire had stopped I was left alone in pain, in the dark.
I had the dream time and time again till one time I woke from my sleep screaming and struggling. I heard voices say:
“He is possessed!”
“He needs help!”
“Be careful so you don’t hurt him!”
“Be quite you’ll wake the master, you-”
Then I heard the slamming of the room door and running feet. I looked around seeing nothing but dark shadows.
“Get away from…him!” I heard someone yell. It sounded familiar.
I felt myself let go of and then gently pulled against a chest I knew well. It was Kail. I stop moving and looked for his face but all I could see was a dark outline of his face. I searched his face not seeing anything. I felt tears roll down my cheeks and my body pulse in streaks of pain.
He ordered them to leave the room, and they left. One protested “But master Kail your wounds!” but he ordered him to leave.
“Everything is okay now. Don’t worry, you’re okay. I’m sorry for scaring you. Shhhh. Don’t cry.” he whispered in my ear.
“Kail…” I said, but it came out as noting but a broken whisper.
“Yes I’m here,” he whispered.
“It hurts…. it hurts…my body…it hurts…” I sobbed.
He gently rocked me back and forth. “I know,” he whispered, “I know.”
“And…I can’t see…your face…everything is…dark…I can’t…see…”
“Everything will be okay. You’ll be all better soon.”
“I can’t…. see you…are you…okay? I did all I could…” I whisper to him.
“I’m fine…you did well. Thank you for saving me,” he whispered into my hair. “Listen Kail…I don’t know if I’ll live…long…so please…listen…I need to tell you
something,” I whispered to him.
“Don’t talk like that. You’ll live a long life. You are fine.”
“Please Kail…please…I’m so sorry for lying to you…I have to tell you about my past…about me…”
“No. We’ll talk when you’re better.” I felt myself giving over to the blackness that so wanted to claim me. “Don’t give up you’ll be fine. Don’t leave.”
I gave over to the darkness. I was tired, oh so tired.


*~*~*~*~*


Kail looked down at Ash’s small fragile body in his arm. He…no she was badly burned, suffering for saving the emperor and me.
Kail thought back to the story Momoko and Sen told him the day he woke after the fire in his bed and after he read the letter they had found in Ash‘s kimono. Ash had been the woman he had saved from drowning in the lake. The girl that had saved his mother’s life by taking her place and fighting off the monks. And also Ash was the boy who he had fallen in love with and who had saved his life. Also that she wasn’t from this time or this place.
Kail decided that no matter what happened he was never going to let Ash go again. “I can see the truth in your eyes,” he whispers as he kissed an unbruised or unburned part of her forehead.


Chapter eight
A truth and a promise


I woke as someone yelled and then I heard someone say, “Shut up!” and then the sound of someone being hit. I was lying on my back and it hurt to breathe. Plus I could barely see anything. I reached up to pulled off the blindfold only to find out there was nothing covering my eyes. I couldn’t remember what happened or where I was, but for some reason I knew I was safe.
But for some reason I felt tears roll down my cheeks. All I could see where black shapes and dark gray blurs. I was blind. I felt lost and though I felt safe I felt alone. I curled into a ball, ignoring the pain and cried. I was cold and alone in this cold black world.
Later as I was just lying on my back, tears still poured from my eyes. The door opened and someone came in. I felt myself being pulled into a pair of strong arms and I pressed my face into that warm chest.
“Where am I,” I asked the person who held me.
“Your home,” was the answer I was given.
“Where is home?” I asked.
“Your home here at my mansion.” again was the only reply.
“What happened to me? I hurt everywhere.” I said.
“You don’t remember?” came the quite question.
“No. I can’t see...who you are?”
“I’m Kail.” the reply was quite again.
“You don’t sound like Kail. I’m sorry I’m a bit out of it right now. I don’t understand anything right now. My brain isn’t working right at the moment. Can you please talk to me? I don’t want to think about what happened now. I understand I have been hurt someway and can’t see but that’s it.”
“Of course I’ll talk to you. You’re just confused.” he said kissing my forehead.
I tighten my hold on him. “Kail I love you,” I said.
“…I love you too.”
“What have you been doing lately?” I asked him.
“Watching over you, so you can heal. And watching over Sen and Momoko as well. Or should I say they have been watching over me. They are worried I will somehow make you worse,” he said somberly.
I had a feeling that this was something to laugh at but I didn’t even feel like a smile would help.
“I’m sorry, but laughing or smiling seems to be something I can’t do. I feel empty inside. Hollow.
“I just can’t…feel. The only thing I can feel is you.” I said.
“It’s fine. You have had a…rough time. You need time to recover. How do you feel?” he asked.
“I hurt everywhere. With every breath, with every move.” I said.
“I understand.”
“Can you tell me what happened now?” I asked. I didn’t feel like knowing but I have to know.
“It all started a week ago on the day of the festival…” he told me what happened and as it did I saw it all again in my head. I had saved him…that is how my eyes ended this way. Although pieces of my memories were still not there.
“Kail there is something I need to tell you,” I said turning my head away from him, thinking about me being a girl. “But can it please wait till I am healed? For I am afraid
that once you hear of it you will no longer wish to neither see nor have me near you. I can’t bear the thought of being even more hurt than I am now.” I said feeling tear fall once again from my sightless eyes.
Soon I found myself asleep again. The next time I woke I was alone and I just laid there listening to what was going on around me on the outside. From what I heard it must have been around noon. There was nothing to do but lay there.
For the next few days’ people came to check on me but I said nothing. Kail came every night and stayed with me and then on the fifth day a doctor came to look at me.
“Well I can’t see any improvement. Because eighty percent of her…errs his body is covered in burns it will take some time to heal. I’m not sure how long.” he said quietly.
“Then what about my eyes,” I asked for the first time.
“Oh…your eyes. They were burned by ash in the fire. The damage to them is very bad…the chances you’ll see again are very slim if there is any hope,” he said.
I felt the emptiness come again but I pushed it away, unwilling to cry in front of others.
I nodded. “Thank you for your help. You may leave.”
He left but Kail stayed behind.
“I ask that you leave please,” I said hearing a waver in my voice.
But instead he took my in his arms gently, and said, “No.”
That was all it took to make me cry. That one single word from him.
After that day I started to wear a band around my eyes. I started to think of something that would help my eyes.
I wondered around my new room trying to memorize where everything was so I wouldn’t hit it. Then I listen to the voice of the people I heard till I could tell every detail about which the person was. And I was slowly going crazy in my own mind.
At the end of two months I had enough of being stuck in the room, so I left. I don’t know where I ended up, but the ground was covered in grass, so I sat down. It seemed to be a garden, because there was a sound of running water.
I began to wonder if I would ever see with my eyes. I haven’t tried to open my eyes and looked yet.
Will it be okay…?
“Hey! What are you doing out of the room,” I heard Kail shout as he ran toward me.
I froze in place, not sure which direction it was coming from.
Before I could turn around or get up, its mother picked me up as if I were a kitten, by the nape of its neck.
“What are you doing?! Why aren’t you in your room?” he asked. I just stood there and glared as best as I could. Angry that I was treated like a prisoner in my own home.
“I was going stir crazy in there. I’ve been there two months since the accident. I’ve had nightmares every night, but I want to go outside instead of being hidden away.” I said trying to push away from him. My hands hit nothing, but air.
Suddenly he sat down in the grass with me in his arms. “You haven’t told me anything, so I couldn’t understand what you’re going through. You can tell me anything.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve been…lost. I don’t really know what to do. I’m afraid that once I take off
I still won’t be able to see.” I said placing my head in my heads. I felt tears fell my eyes and being caught by the piece of cloth tied around my eyes.
He was quite for a moment, and then he started to rock me back and forth. “I see. I am truly sorry for it did not come to my mind that you may wish to come outside. I am sorry that you had to go through what you did.” he whispered into my hair. “And as for your eyes you must believe that you will see again. There you will see all the things you love. The roses and other flowers, and the beautiful sun set.”
“I don’t care about that…all I want to see is your face.” I said on a chocking sob.
“You will,” he said.
We stayed there for a while and soon he stood up with me in his arms.
“It is nearly evening it is time for us to go in before it chills. I don’t need you to become sick again. It hurts me greatly to see you in pain.” he said.
That night he slept with me, holding me tight, to still my haunted dreams.

I woke up surrounded in warmth I hadn’t known in a long time. I felt whole for the first time in a while and I decided that for the person I love I need to fight for what I want. I wanted to see him again and his world of wonders. I decide then and there that I would take off the band around my eyes. And I had a feeling that I would be able to see him.
I slid out of his arms and stood.
A cool morning breeze met with me as I walked outside and twisted around me as if to caress me like a lover; touching my entire body. I walked quietly from the room to the deck outside the door. I closed the door behind me. I breathed in deeply. And for the first time in months I had slept in peace without the nightmare ripping at my soul.
I lifted my face to the sky and reached back to untie the band that sealed my eyes from the world.
It’s time to set myself free.
The tie fell from my face and I opened my eyes to an awry of colors. Reds, yellows, greens, and every color imaginable. I felt tears roll down my cheeks and I ran back inside.
Careful of my sore spot I jumped on Kail and kissed him full on the mouth.
He woke instantly and I pulled away. Looking at his face. He looks worse than I would have thought. He looked as if he hadn’t sleep in months…but things were still very blurry.
“Kali are you okay?” I asked my joy disappearing in worry for him.
He took one long look at me and hugged me tightly to his chest. It really hurt, but I didn’t care.
“Can you see me,” he asked seriously as he pulled back to look at me.
I nodded. “My eyes hurt from the light and everything is very blurry but I can see. And last night the nightmare did not come. I thank you for that.”
I smiled. I have to tell him about me…now’s the time. I stopped smiling and looked down. “Kail I have to tell you about me…I’ve had hiding some big secrets from you.” I said.
“What…do you mean?” he asked.
My heart heavy knowing what would happen after I told him; I sighed and told him everything.
My entire life’s story. I cried through most of it trying not to feel the hollow pain it brought. When I finished there was a long silence. I wait for him to yell at me. To tell me to leave and never come back. I waited for something, for anything. But he said nothing and I dared not look at him
I wiped the tears from my eyes. For I had cried my last tears over my life.
As I got up to leave he caught my hand.
“I already knew about you. After the fire you were badly burned and they had to cut your clothes away so they could treat you. I was in the same room. I had just woken up and saw you without your clothes. Then when I woke up the next morning after being treated Momoko and Sen told me everything. And I made a promise after reading your letter. No matter what I would never let you go again. And you have given up your life countless times for the ones you care about. I don’t ever want you to leave again.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“I thought you were going to die,” he said in a haunted tone.
I turned around and he pulled me to him. His embrace was warm and kind, everything I shouldn’t have, that I didn’t deserve. He laid me on the futon and began to kiss me in way that had me trembling from head to toe.
In a gasp of breath he said, “My promise to you is to never let you go again.”
And so he held on even tighter. As did I.


Chapter nine
So may it be


A few nights later a crash woke me from my sleep. I slipped out of Kail’s futon and left the room.
Sliding the door closed behind me. I lit a candle and walked towards where I had heard the noise.
I came to the door of Momo’s room, but I knew she was asleep so I turned way and started down the next hallway, but not two inches down the hallway another crash sounded. And to my utter surprise it was from Momo’s room. I turned around and slid open the door an inch and looked in for a few seconds.
And that was a few seconds permanently burned into my brain forever and will continue to haunt me. Momo was wearing only the thinnest shirt ever that was allowing me to see everything and to my jaw dropping shock, Sen was laying next to her in nothing at all. Kissing her soundly and running his hand up her leg.
My hand loosened around the candle it slowly slid from my grip. But I didn’t notice. I was in a rush to close the door before I saw anymore. But then I notice the candle and I caught it before it hit the ground.
And caught the wick, the melted wax, and flame right in the middle of my left right palm. I dropped it and put my hand over my mouth and bit down on a knuckle. I ran to the washhouse and found a tub of cold fresh water. I sank to my knees by it and gently laid my hand in it.
And sucked in a quick.
Damn this hurts like hell!
I pulled it out and looked at the hardened wax that covered most of my palm. It was going to hurt worse pulling it off then getting it on.
So I ripped it off my palm and bit back a scream. Blood welled and poured from my hand. I put it back into the water. Soon the water turned pink.
I ripped the bottom of my night robe and wrapped it around my hand. I tied it off with my teeth and my other hand. “Crap,” I muttered, “How do I explain this one?”
It smarted like hell and…and what I saw…
I felt a blush creep up my neck and steal into my cheeks. I shook my head.
No! I cannot think of it!
I walked back to Kail’s room quickly and slid back under the covers. This night I lay wide-awake.
For no sleep would come to my spinning mind.
I got up a few hours before dawn and headed for the kitchen. My mind was so fuzzy that I didn’t even think about it, I had to pass by Momo’s room to get there. So when I came face to face with a half dress Momo I toppled backwards with a squeak of surprise and so did she.
She stared at me with wide eyes.
I looked over her face. Swollen lips a faint blush and a bruise on her neck. I didn’t know what they were doing, but it was defiantly was meant to be private.
I stood and helped her up. I had to act normal around her so she didn’t know.
“Morning,” I said with a small laugh.
She sighed.
In relief?
“Morning,” she said with a small laugh of her own.
“What are you doing up?” I asked.
She thought a moment before she said, “Well I was going to take a bath. My muscles are stiff and a bit sore.”
“Oh I was on my way to the kitchen for something to eat but do you mind if I come with you?” I asked.
“I don’t see why not.” She said.
We went to the private bathhouse and to my surprise a servant came out to help.
They pour steaming water for Momo’s bath and for mine they pour in freezing water just the way I have always taken my bath. It was one of the few things that were still the same as back before I came here.
The reasons for the cold bath were to clear my mind and make me focus. Even as a little child I was raised to do this.
“So why are you up this early?” I asked sinking into my bath.
She flushed a little and said, “I had some fun last night.”
“Fun,” I ask. Even thought I knew it, the little devil within in me made me ask.
“Yeah.” was all she said. Thought embarrassed she looked like she wanted to tell me everything, but wasn’t sure how I would take it.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked her.
She grinned and with very great detail told me everything she did. By time she was done I’m sure that my tub of freezing water was boiling. And my face bright pink.
“You did all that with Sen?” was what came from my mouth in a squeak.
“Yes. I didn’t know what to do or what would happen, but he showed me. He was so kind and gentle and,” here she sucked in an excited breath, “He told me he loved me!”
She lunged over to my tub, and leaned over to give me a hug, and fell in. She jumped out howling in shock of the cold water. I laughed. Then she saw it…my hand.
But she only saw it for a second because I splashed water in her face and hid my hand behind my back.
“How can you stand that? It’s freezing! You’ll die of a cold!” she gasped.
“The whole dying of a cold thing is a lie and I’ve been taking baths like this since I was little.” I said with a giggle.
“But why?!” she asked in astonishment.
I frowned when thinking about it. “Well to focus my mind and body. That’s what was taught to me. The first time I saw my grandmother she took me to the bathroom and drew a bath of frozen water. She tossed me in there and held me down. When I was allowed to come out I asked why she did that. She gave me a cold smile and said it was to be done so and that it focused my mind.”
She stood there open mouthed and dumbfounded.
Then she seems to find her voice. “That doesn’t seem right to me. That sounds more like an act of hate and that she didn’t like you. She was probably trying to hurt you or make you sick. Why don’t you take a warm bath like me?” she asked.
“I guess I’ve been doing this for so long I never thought about it. I can’t remember what one feels like. But I will sometime.”
“But Ash can you promise me you won’t tell Sen I told you about anything? I don’t want him to know you know because it was my first time.” she blushed and I felt my cheeks stain with red.
“I promise. Plus I have to tell you something.” I said.
“What?” she asked excited again.
“I learned a lot from you about these things from you. Now I know what to do. And to tell you the truth I’ve never done anything like that.” my face turned even redder.
She gawked at me. “Never? But you always sleep in Kail-sama’s room…and with him in the same futon no less! How is this possible?” she seemed to be talking to her more than me. “He must really be holding back! Wow.”
Then she looked me full in the face. “Ash, Kail-sama’s must have been holding back. He loves you that much. So much as not to hurt or scare you.” she smiled but this one was sad. “Or maybe even thought he promised he hasn’t touched you because he plans on you going back home.”
I stood there no longer happy, shy and embarrassed, but struck to my core with a cold fear.
“He wouldn’t. He promised. I won’t let him. I will not be my mother! I refuse!” tears I thought gone came to my eyes and fell to the floor.
Momo came over to me and pulled my shaking form to her’s.
“I did not mean to make you cry. Of course he won’t send you home. He needs you.
When you didn’t wake up after the fire he went insane thinking you would die, because you saved both him and the emperor. He blamed himself for that as well as all the other time you were hurt. Stop crying what I said was a lie.”
I quieted soon and told her she could leave I would be okay, but didn’t think so but I insisted. So she left.
I walked to my room in a dark stormy state. I fell on to my old futon not caring as I hit my head on the ground. I just laid there.
He wouldn’t send me home. He loves me as I love him. He promised he wouldn’t, but then why did he act so distant. Even as I lay in his arms at night he feels so far away. He holds me so tight, but now I just don’t know. But I refuse to follow in my mom’s footsteps! He needs me and I need him there is no way he would leave me and send me back.
But even as I ran it through my mind I knew that in my heart he might.
The war was starting up again far to the west and we were winning. That was the news brought to me by Momo. I was still lying on the floor of my old room and she had come to check on me.
She thought this might cheer me even a little. But the truth is told I didn’t even know there was a war happening. And nothing could sweeten my black mood.
I missed breakfast, lunch and dinner as the sky turned black; I just lay there looking out the open doors of the room to the night sky.
Like I said before I was doomed to end like my mom and her love. But I cannot say that I wish it gone for I knew I was better off with knowing this feeling. But there’s a chance he may not send me way.
Then an idea came to me. Even if the chance was little it may work. I will have to do my best to make him sure he wouldn’t let me go.
I went over to the trunk that held everything I came with. The diary, my dress, shoes, and then I found it the thin see-through shirt that went under the corset. It had very thin straps, and went only to the middle of my thighs. It was so thin it appeared to be woven of the thinnest and finest silk.
And it was just what I needed. It would show off my thin waist as well as my large chest, and my finely shaped legs.
I slipped off my kimono and put it on and then one of my thin female kimonos. I unpinned my hair and it nearly touched the floor.
It was about time everyone be going to but for it was almost midnight. Even the servants would be in bed by now.
I made my way as quite as I could to Kail’s room. I heard a voice coming from the direction of his room and I hid behind a curtain and listened.
“Kail-samba’s I was very foolish and told her something I shouldn’t have. Now she’s in the darkest mood I’ve ever seen her in!”
Oh my god! It’s Momo and Kail!
“Where is she?” Kail asked worried instantly. “What did you say to her?”
“In her old room. We were taking baths and…” she told him everything and I didn’t hear him say a single thing. But I was grateful that she hadn’t noticed my hand.
Then, “You told her since I didn’t touch her that was because of I might send her back,” he asked shaken. As if she had ripped him apart.
I think she nodded.
“I was thinking about it. Because here in this world she only gets hurt. I would rather send her back and live a life of despair ratter then her being killed or worse, tortured again. But then I couldn’t live without her. I’m as confused as what to do!”
“I think that maybe it is best to let her decide. It is her life.” Momo said. “She gave me that choice and thanks to that I’ll be marrying Sen soon and I’ve never been happier.”
“But I don’t know what I’ll do if she’s hurt again…”
I stepped out from hiding beside the curtain. I had heard enough. I went and slid open the door.
They stared at me then Momo left with a smile that said she understood.
I closed the door behind her and turned to Kail. He was sitting on the floor. I kneeled down in front of him and hugged him.
His arms slid around my waist and pulled me to him. I pulled back and kissed his lips.
“Please don’t send my back,” I whispered. Tears streaked down my cheeks, “You are all have. This is what I’ve been looking for all my life. This is where I belong. I belong only with you. I don’t care what happens to me as long as I can be only yours.”
He closed his eyes and pulled me to him and his arms like steel incased me.
“I’m sorry. I never thought you would feel this way, and either did I. I swear I won’t send you way. You belong with me and only to me. You are my true home. I love you,” he whispered in my ear.
He laid me on the futon and looked into my eyes. I looked into those eyes I fell in love with that showed his soul and heart to me. Those silver eyes like the stars of the night sky. They were filled with love and a dim flicker of worry.
I wrapped my arms round his neck. “Make me yours,” I whispered. I rose up to kiss him, but he pressed me down and covered my mouth with his.
He stopped and looked down at me. “Are you sure?”
“I only want you. I love only you. Yes. Please.” I whispered and with that last word he did just that.
And I swear I heard him say, “So be it.”
As we lay there intertwined, shared tears of happiness fell and tender kisses of love and promises were made. I had found what had been missing in my life and I couldn’t have been happier to lose everything to keep this.
I felt him pull my wounded hand over to him so he could look at it. I tried to pull it away but it did no good.
“What happened to you,” he asked as he started to take the cloth off. I said nothing until he saw my palm. So I thought it’s was better to just tell him.
“I burned my hand with wax from a candle last night. It's fine.” I said hoping he wouldn’t ask for more. He didn’t and for that I was thankful.
“Ash I must tell you that…the emperor has called us to the Palace. He wishes meet…the young man who saved his life. I’ve been trying to keep this from you for a while longer but as it seems he can’t wait any longer. I messaged him this morning that we would see him tomorrow.”
I twisted in his arms and stared at him a horror. “What! The emperor!?” I gasped.
Oh boy this was bad! I’ll have to meet the emperor! And what’s worse as a boy!
“Sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.” he said looking sheepish.
I heaved a heavy sigh. “Only eight months in this place and things always get worse after a good thing happens.” I put a hand over my face and decided that this was going to be a strange time.


 Chapter Ten
Misunderstandings


It was cold. Freezing.
The wind was whipping around me and I stood on top of a snow mountain. A hawk cried as is flew to me. I held out my arm and the bird landed. Its black eyes looking into mine. Then I noticed a wet feeling on my chest. I was bleeding and it slowly spread, starting a pattern. Circles and crisis crossing lines formed a crossed my chest as the blood seeked a path to be freed.
I knew I should stop the blood. I knew I should be worried about bleeding to death. I knew I should be afraid or even scared, but all I can feel was a still calmness.
I looked down on a valley below. Bodies littered the ground and the snow dyed red with the blood of lost souls. And as my feet gave way under me the screams of the lost souls shattered my vision.
I jerked up and looked around to find I had fallen asleep while on the ride to the Imperial City.
But the screaming was still continuing, so looked to see what was happening. Down the rode a company of people where being attacked. I kicked my horse forward and pulled out my sword.
The rest of my company held back, but for Kail and Sen.
I was still forty yards away and could tell who was being attacked but I knew I had to hurry.
There was a big fancy carriage and twenty or so men were struggling against a guard that was trying to protect five women. When I was within a few feet of them I jumped from the back of my horse and slashed the neck of a man who was holding a knife to the throat of a young girl dressed in fancy clothes. I pushed her aside and other men all dressed only in ratty old pants and covered in dirt came at me.
Before they could even get near me they fell to the ground. That left three men who were quickly loading the girls into the back of a small wagon. I became enraged as I saw what they were doing to them and I ran at them sword up rose. They fell. I stood there covered in their blood and wondered when my heart had become so black to be where I could kill without thinking or even caring.
I smiled, and I knew it was a cold smile.
Sen and Kail looked at the men while I took care of the girls.
One girl no more than thirteen was hiding in the back of the carriage that was raided. She was crying and covered in blood. Soon I realized that she was holding someone to her chest. I got in a smoothed a hand over her hair. She looked up eyes filled with terror and glazed with fear.
“It’s okay. I have saved you and the others. Let me see the one you hold,” I said in a gentle voice.
She shook from head to toe and I reached for the person she held, she tightened her hold and then realizing what I said. She held out her arms and the person in them. Tears still fell from her eyes, but she no longer was sobbing.
And I looked down at the person who was now in my arms. A young man maybe about nineteen. I carried him out of the carriage and laid him out on a mat. I looked him over and saw it was bad. He was bleeding to death from a deep wound on his abdomen.
I hurried to get a needle and silk thread. I cleaned the wound best I could.
“How is he?” I heard Kail ask.
“Bad.” was all I said.
I sewed up the wound and wrapped him the best I could. I was shaking by time I was done and as the others readied to be leaving once more, looked around me.
The guards of the young girls lay on the ground as well as the men who tried to take them.
Blood was covering everything. I walked to where the girls sat together. When the girl who had held on to the young man saw me she jumped up and ran to me. Grabbing handfuls of my kimono.
“Where is he?! Is he okay?!” she asked, almost begging he was okay.
I laid my hands over hers. “He’ll be okay. I did my best but we must get him to a doctor soon.”
The relief in her eyes told me she thought he had died. She let go of my clothes on took a step back.
“I am Ash and you and your friends will be coming with us. We are going to the Imperial City. We are a few days from there so we will have to move fast. Do you trust me?” I asked them all.
I heard five “Yes,” from all of them. I nodded and we were off. I rode in the wagon with the young man, who laid unconsciousness.
That night we stopped at an Inn and brothel we got rooms for the night and we took turns on watch. It was about two in the morning and I was over my watch and checking in on the other and now I was in Kail’s warm arms.
“Kail do you think with I did was right?” I asked, my face pressed against his neck.
“Yes. What you did was right,” he pulled back, “But never do that again. You scared me half to death. But I am glad you saved them.” he kissed my forehead softly.
“Kail I feel the nightmares coming back and I do not wish to sleep. Please hold me,” I whispered in his ear. “Make me forget, make them go away.”
I closed the door behind me. The heat of his body told me I was not alone anymore, and my heart raced along with his.
The world seemed to freeze around us and offer us a secret moment.
He looked into my eyes and smiled a smile that could only mean one thing. He picked me up and laid me on the bed. He caressed the side of my face and kissed my lips.
He kissed my neck and in my ear he whispered a sweet promise of secret.
In the waning hours of the morning before dawn I found that he was indeed gentle and tender, it was he just didn’t notice. I lay peaceful in his arms listening to his
humming and slipped into peaceful oblivion. And the nightmare seemed so far away.
I woke a few hours after dawn and set the men to packing up for the ride to come. I slipped into the girls’ room and sat with them. They seemed shocked I would do this. But then again I was in my men’s clothes and being a boy for the moment.
“I need to know your names and where we will drop you off when we reach the city, I could tell by the way you were dressed you must be a noblemen’s daughters. So may I ask?” I asked.
The oldest that looked about my age bowed to me. She was a few inches shorter than my about 5’ 3’’. She had long black hair like the others, but her eyes were a gold brown.
Not black brown. “I am Mira. The eldest of my sisters.”
A girl about a year younger then the first bowed. “I am Lyn. The second eldest.”
Next was a shorter, but serious girl of maybe fifteen. “I am May. The third youngest.”
Next was the girl I had saved first. She smiled sweetly at me. “I am Bia. The forth youngest.”
The last was the girl who had held the young man who almost died. She looked at me with kind eyes that told me she like me somehow. “I am Yume. The youngest and I thank you for saving his life.” she bowed deeply.
I bowed back and smiled at them. They all blushed. “I promise we will get you back safely. I am truly sorry I could not save your guards though.”
I talked with them for a while till the men were done packing.
I sat on my horse deep in thought wondering about what I would have to do when we get to the Imperial City and when I have to meet the Emperor, and then Momo come to ride along side me. I gaped at her.
“You’re riding a horse!” was all I could say.
She giggled. “Well I saw you do it and it turned out not to be that hard. And I find it fun. So what is your plan for the five little princesses?” she asked.
“Take them with us and have them sent home when we get there. I have a few problems to worry about. Momo you lived in the Palace for a while. Tell me about the Emperor.” I said.
She grinned one of those grins that Sen had when he had an idea. “Well he is very serious, but if you can get him loosen up he isn’t so uptight. But he has five daughters as you know, and he has two sons. He has no concubines now for the mother of Prince
Ryuuko died last year-” she went on to tell me more about him and some of the thing
heard…when she was done my mouth was hanging open in shock.
She leaned over and closed it.
“What in the Hell?!” I moaned. “I have to meet a guy like that?! Just my luck! Thank god I have Kail as my lover.”
“True, but see your problem is the way you have to meet the Emperor. He doesn’t know who saved him so he doesn’t know you are a girl or not. So I would be better if you make him think you’re a guy.”
“Yeah, thanks,” I said. I hadn’t really been listening.
Kail was soon by my side.
He smiled he sweet smile for me. “What is it about you that make me want to lock you away and never let another person see you?” he wondered aloud.
“I believe it is my smile,” I said with a grin.
“No I believe it is your sweet self that just drives me to It. “he said.
My grin faded as I thought more into-
“What is wrong? There need be no worries as to what will be to come. All will be well. You’ll see.”
Sen was now on my other side with his usual bright smile in place.
I sighed then nodded. All would be well soon.


*~*~*~*~*


That may be what I told myself but in truth that was not what it seemed as I looked before me. The girls I had saved were trying to sneak off into the Imperial City. They had covered their heads with veils and were now trying to get some of the horses including mine.
I sighed and walked over to them. I took the rein of the horse and for good measure glare up at them.
“Do you know that stealing my horse would make me mad? And not to mention I was the one who saved you from being killed or even raped. Is this how you show your thankfulness?”
They when from looking mad to pale-faced shame.
The youngest spoke up. “We are sorry, but we needed to get home as fast as possible.
We would have sent your horses back with a gift.”
“That is not the point. We are guarding you and keeping you safe so you better live with it.
When we get to the Imperial City in a day or so I shall let you go on your way not before is that clear?” I asked.
They all nod and I take them back to our camp.
That night I skipped supper and so did Kail. We went to our tent to talk and just hold each other for this would probably would be the last night we have together till we get home. After he slipped off into sleep, I went out of the tent to the one that held the young man who had been badly injured. I stopped outside of the door to his tent my hand raised to open it when I heard a Girl’s voice.
“You’ll be fine Kei. Don’t leave me…please you’re all I have left you can’t die! What would father say?!” I knew that voice. It was the youngest of the girls. She was begging him to stay here.
I opened the door. When she saw me she stopped talking. I came over a sat down beside her.
She held his hands in her’s and her tears had soaked his dressings on his wounds.
She looked at my with her tear filled gaze. “He still hasn’t woken up yet. It’s been three days,” she whispered.
“He would be dead now if the blood hadn’t stopped, but every time he moves he bleeds. His fever is very high and I have plans for him tonight. Do you wish to help?”
She nodded, and clung to him.
“Alright then. I need you to get me a tub of hot water, a metal needle, silk tread, and lots of cloth, and a pair of my clothes. Do you understand?” I asked.
She nodded, stood, and left to do my bidding.
I closed my eyes remembering the medical book I have read. If I did this right he would live a long life, but if it went wrong his short life would end. I went over it again and again to make sure and she was back soon. I cleaned my knife and took out the stitches I had done on him. And just as I thought when to wound opened blood poured out. His was bleeding inside too. I used the cloth to clean out the bleed and set to sewing up his cut organs it small even stitches, wiping away fresh blood every few minutes. When I saw that he no longer had any open wounds inside I pulled out two small veils I had made this morning. I took the stopper off the one with a jelly inside and rubbed it over his organs inside. It would numb them so it would not cause him pain for a few days.
Then I sewed up the surface wound and added a little more to that. I put the stopper on the bloody vile and took out the stopper on the second one. I looked over to the girl.
She had sat there watching without making a sound. Her eyes were filled with tears, but her expression was one of great determined.
“Come hold up his head, this job is off you. Sit behind his head there. Yes, now take a drink from the vile, but don’t swallow it. Now press you lips to his and make him drink it. Yes that’s it. One should be enough for I made it super strong, but one drink should be good,” I said guiding her through it. I took the vile back half empty now and put the stopper in. I looked at her.
“You did very well. Because of you he will live a long life,” I stopped and noticed that her face was red. Could it be? I would know it anywhere. “Was that your first kiss?”
She nodded.
“But he’s your brother so it shouldn’t count,” I said.
She shook her head. “His is not my brother by blood, but by marriage. His mother married my father.
Oh. "I think from your reaction that you love him?” I asked.
She turned redder, but said, “Yes I do. Since I was very small.”
“Did you see that man I am always walking with?” I asked. “The man with the silver eyes?”
She nodded.
“Well I love him, just like you love your brother,” I said with a smile.
She looked shocked.
Oh yeah she thought I was a guy! No wonder.
I grinned at her and put a finger to my lips. “I’m really a girl, promise you won’t tell anyone?”
She looked so stunned I wanted to laugh. Then she smiled. “I promise.”
“You want to be friends?” I asked.
She grinned and nodded.
I looked around us. The ground was littered with cloth soaked with blood, I was covered in blood from head to toe and so was she. And Kei wasn’t looking much better.
She followed my eyes around and lost her grin.
“We all need a bath and this stuff needs to be cleaned.” I announced.
She nodded.
So we picked up all the stuff and put it in the tub.
“Let’s take a bath at the hot spring I found this morning in the woods behind us okay,” I asked.
She looked a bit scared, and then nodded.
“Carry the tub and the clothes, and I’ll carry Kei.” I said.
She looked at me with wide eyes. “No, we shouldn’t move him!”
“Relax; I know how to carry him. Plus his covered in dry sweat, wet sweat, dry blood, and new blood. I say he needs a bath more then you or me. Plus his fever is high and he freezing. It will do him well, not to mention the medicine we gave him will work better.” I said.
She paused, agreed and we went.
I lead us to the hot spring. She set down the lamp, tub and clothes on nearby rocks. I undress myself first and smiled when she saw my chest.
“You really are a girl! And you have such a big chest!” she exclaimed, and then turned red.
“It’s okay.” I said.
While she undressed and undressed Kei.
He was a fine looking young man, but none could compare to Kail.
I slipped into the water with him in my arms.
This was my first warm bath in over ten years. It was good.
I smiled at her as she stared at us in the water. Her face was red again.
“My guess is you have never seen a naked man before.” I said.
She nodded. “Or a woman.”
“Are you calling me old?” I asked rising a brow at her. “I’m only sixteen.”
“No. You look so young and beautiful. I wouldn’t have known how to guess your age before. You’re so beautiful and mature it would be hard to tell. Your mother must be beautiful.” She said with a smile.
“She was before she died. I was only a few months old when she died, but I always had pictures. She looked like me ,but she was taller and had hair the color of moonlight. But I have her eyes.” I said setting to work washing Kei, and then myself. I washed all the blood from us and then I laid him out on the grass beside the pool. I went to wash her off.
The once crystal clear water of the spring was now a dull pink.
“He should be fine in a few weeks. I’ll have to take out the stitches on the surface, but the stitches inside him will be there forever. But he will never notice and it will not cause problems. For the next week he’ll need to stay in a bed and not move as well you will be need to give him his medicine twice a day, everyday for a week like we did tonight, okay? Can you do that?”
“Yes, I will. Thank you for saving him.” she said turning around and giving me a hug.
I gave her a hug back. “Sure.”
I took Kei into my arms and sat in the water to relax, he will be cold again soon.
“Yume I would let you hold him to I believe you are a bit weak to hold up a man his size and height. But please don’t tell your sisters about me okay?” I asked.
She giggled. “I won’t but to make sure you know all of them have a crush on you for saving them. They all like the beautiful man who saved them from death.” she said dramatically with a wink.
I heaved a heartfelt sigh. “Great just what I need.”
Soon we were done so I dressed in my men’s clothes again and did the same for Kei. I helped Yume into her kimono. I washed out the clothes and folded and put them back in the tub. She carried the tub and lamp back with us. She followed me to Kei tent and I left her there to be with him. I was grateful I had read those books in the Future.
I went back to my tent after saying good night to Sen and Momo who sat by the fire in each other’s arms. I slip in the futon and Kail in his sleep reached out for me calling my name softly. I wrapped my arms around him, grateful that I had him and he was safe. My nightmares didn’t come that night, but rather a dream so sweet I wish it was real and cried when it was over.
Soon we would be at the Imperial City. Kail had taken me to a mansion in the mountains after the fire. How much he cared for me.


Chapter 11
Caught in a twist


The early morning skies told me that the sun had not risen yet, but would soon. It truly was beautiful this time of the year in winter. I was glad now that I had come here, because here I found my home, the person I will always love most in the world. Soon we would pack up and leave to the Imperial City. The girls would go home and the young man would live and it would be my hope that he and Yume would love each other.
The mountains were ending and the plains begin to form and stretched there long arms before us, and in the distance I could see the thick walls the sounded that palace and the city. It truly was beautiful.
What ever did I do to deserve to come to such a beautiful world? To find such great friends and a love of my own?
I sighed as we moved along the winding the to the city. Momo was happily riding behind me on my horse and telling me of what she had done last night. It would seem they're very spirited in their exploits. I half listened to her and kept me eyes on the wagon in which held Yume and the young man. I knew he would live and have a few hard weeks in front of him.
And that set my mind to wondering who their family was and where they were really from.
I knew they had to be the daughters of a high-class noble family at least. They had to be from somewhere in the city-
“And I caution you to stay away from the Emperor. Even thought you have Kail, he likes young men and women, so I suggest that you keep your distance. You beautiful as a man or a woman, so every man that sees you go crazy and every woman become either jealous or admiring of you. The Emperor will be no different he will want to have you.” Momo said and that's what broke my commandeering of the girls.
I turned around as far as I could with without knocking one of us to the ground and stared at her.
“I don't care if he likes men or women. I will not be anyone's plaything again. And as for your advice thank you, but we'll need to find out what to do with you and Sen. Since well you kind of already are married in the most basic way, I guess you'll share a room.”
She grinned at me wagging her eyebrows, “Well said princess-” I pinched her lips together.
“Remember we are in company of others who do not know who I am and I for one would like to keep it that way. I decided I would meet the Emperor as 'Prince Ash' the heir of France. But if anything goes wrong I have a plan,” I said with a grin.
“Just beware the he might want 'Prince Ash' to marry one of his daughters,” Momo said covering her mouth as she tried not to giggle. The idea of me marrying another girl was hilarious, but to me it was just downright horrifying.
“Let's just hope he has no interest in me for him or his daughters,” I said looking back to Kail who was talking with Sen. I saw that Momo looked at Sen with the same look I looked at Kail with.
The rest of the way to the Imperial City she saw fit to inform me once again of the Emperor's previous ventures. I would have covered my ears, but I was the one controlling the horse, which would have caused most likely both of us to fall.
By the time we were at the gates that lead into the imperial City I was totally against meeting the emperor and Momo all but dragged me into the gates. The company stopped near by a tall fancy building to stop and rest.
I dismounted and the moment my feet touched the ground I was picked up in a big hug. My face pressed against the chest of the person who held me, and I found it to be the chest of a woman verse a man's for one very obvious reason. I tried to pull away, but I was too shocked to really do anything.
I looked sideways to see Sen, Kail, Momo, and everyone else of the company looking at me with their jaws hanging wide open. Then I looked up in to big browns eyes of Kali!
“Kali!” I gasped, hugging her tightly. I smiled up at her. She grinned down at me.
“You look good! Seems you've been okay since then,” she said. She let go of me and stepped back to look me over. “It would seem you're still looking like a boy.”
“Well I kind of have too,” I started, but then I felt a hand on my waist. I turned and smiled up at Kail.
He looked at Kali with a look of suspicion.
“Kail this is Kali and Kali this is Kail. She took care of me after...um the monks took me. She healed me and helped me escape.” I said smiling at them both.
He stared for a moment then bowed and when he came up he was smiling. “I thank you of taking care of my Ash for me. I am in your debt.”
She looked at me with a raised brow when he said 'my' and I nodded, and then she looked him up and down twice, grinned at me and winked.
She nodded at him. “No you're not as long as you and your company come in for a drink. It’s good to see you here,” she said to me.
I went over to the wagon Kei and Yume were in and went in. she smiled when she saw me.
“We're in the city now, and we're stopping for a drink if you want to come. It'll be good for you; I'll have someone watch him for us, okay? You've been taking care of him well but take care of yourself to. You need a break.” I said.
She nodded. “I'll come.”
“You know he should wake up soon. His fever will break soon too, so you have to be in top condition when you see him.” I took the hand I place on his forehead and touched she’s for a moment.
She looked so much like a lovesick puppy waiting for their master, when she looked at him, hopefully. I could tell her eyes are only for him.
I pulled her with me and asked one of Kail’s close servants to watch over him. The man smiled at me and nodded. Then we went to the carriage that held her sisters. I knocked and entered. I bowed to each of them as they step down and out of the carriage. Upon which each one smiled at me with a super sweet smile and said, “You're so kind.”
I had to bit my lip to stop from laughing. I led them to where Kail and Kali were talking.
I smiled at Kali “Kail and Kali this is Yume, Bia, May, Lyn, and Mira. They’re sisters I saved them on our way here to the city. You guys this is Kail and Kali, they saved me.” I turned to look at them.
Kali looked them over and smile to them. They just stared at her. I cleared my throat and they blushed looking away. All but Yume, she grinned at Kali.
“Hi,” Yume said to her.
“Hi,” Kali said back. And from there things went smoothly.
I sat next to Kali and Yume took the other spot on my left. I drank my tea and enjoyed myself.
“So you and the pretty young lord-ling uh?” Kail asked leaning over to me.
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Good work I must say. And he's your hero too. Have envious I am. If only I was younger. Well I am only twenty-six so maybe...OW! What was that for,” she yelped.
I took another drink of my tea, “Don't even think about it. He's mine you old bat.”
She rubbed her arm where I pinched her and grumbled. Then she smiled and whispered something in my ear that made me squeak, “You want me to do what with him?!”
During our talk I notice Kail stare our way often and with a look of envy too. I smiled at the silliness of it all.
When the drinks were over we made to leave. The girls were loaded up and the other packed up. Sen mounted up, and Momo sat with him this time. She blushed when he whispered something in her ear, and then she giggled.
They must be very happy, I envy that they can do that in the open. Yume was back with Kei and so I made sure no one was watching and went I was sure I pulled Kail down for a very fast, yet very passionate kiss. I walked away and gave Kali another hug.
“Come back to visit okay?” she asked.
“I will,” I promised.
As I mounted my own horse she gave me a smile that said to remember what she had told me to do with Kail. I blushed and nodded.
I came along side the carriage and asked, “Ladies, where is it that you live so we may take you home?”
There was a silence and then Mira spoke. “You can take us to the Imperial Palace. That was where we were staying, before everything happened.”
Well that makes things easier. “As you wish. My ladies.” I heard them giggle.
I moved a safe distance away and laughed. Kail came up to me and asked first.
“What are you laughing about?”
So I told her about the girls. A grin peeked through that mask of steel of his and thought it wasn't to the better of him he laughed.
Sen came up on my other side, Momo asleep in his arms.
“What are you two laughing about?” he asked wanting to know.
“Nothing,” I said with a straight face, which only made Kail laugh harder, and to almost fall from his horse.
“Come on tell me,” he asked.
“Nope,” I said.
“Come on please,” He begged. He reminded me of a small child asking for a cookie before supper.
I shook my head and giggled.
They stared at me in shocked and I burst into a fit a peeling giggles that made them laugh too.
Within the next half an hour we were at the gates of the Imperial Palace. We were let through when Kail told them who we were and we stopped in front of the huge palace. But just to call it huge was an understatement. The place was practically its own city! There was at least five thousand stairs that led up to the front doors!
The girls were escorted into the palace with a lot of surprise, but I wasn't able to notice because of the little man who had just popped up in front of me. He looked at me with big brown watery eyes, fill with amazement.
“Your eyes are blue!”
I felt my eyes widen in surprise. His loud cheerful voice caught me off guard. I was so shocked that all I did was nod and say, “Yeah.”
He turned his smile and big eyes to Kail. “Good to see you back Lord Gin,” he said to Kail, “Good to see you to Master Hawkins, this is Ash. The person who saved the Emperor.” Kail said pointing at me. The little man's eye got so wide it looked like they would pop out of his head. Then with great ceremony the little man bent lower than half in a bow.
“My Lord I did not know it was you who saved our Emperor. I am Master Hawkins,” he said with another bow.
“I'm not a lord...I'm a prince-” I cut off before I said princess.
And that apparently was the little man's limit. He blinked startle for a second and then fainted.
I sighed. Kail looked at me with the same look and then even he started to sway a bit. I caught him by the waist.
I looked up at him. “Are you going to faint too?” I asked in astonishment.
He shook his head, but even as he did he fell to the ground. I fell with him to give him a softer landing, but even as strong as I am; he's just too tall. I sighed and sat there in the dust with him in my lap.
I hummed the lullaby I could never seem to finish and stroked his hair. The little man lay in the dust a few feet away. Soon Kail’s eyes opened and stared up at me. Those beautiful silver eyes that I had first fallen in love with. I smiled down at him and lowered my face to his and kissed him softly.
“Good to see you back,” I said softly with a giggle.
His cheeks were red. “You're...you're a prince?”
“Well more like a princess, but yeah that's how it is. I thought you knew. Both Sen and Momoko knew. I thought they told you when they told you everything else.”
It would seem I need to have a talk with him later.
And I had also forgotten that the company, along with Sen and Momoko were still behind us. I turned to look over my shoulder to see that all of Kail’s servants' faces were red, the laughing face of Sen and of course the opened mouthed Momoko. As well as a good number of the palace people. I felt a blush run up my neck to my cheeks.
I helped Kail up. The little man was now only starting to wake up, and for that I was most grateful. I helped him up too.
“Thank you, your Highness,” he said with another bow. “Now if you'll be as kind as to follow me, I'll show you the way to your rooms,” he said turning to show us up the stairs.
“Hold on a moment. Lord Sen and Lady Momoko are here with us. As you know they have been married,” I said, with a wink thrown away. They were standing behind me now.
The little man bowed to Momo and said, “It is good to see you are well, My Lady.” then he made for us to follow him inside.
I started up the steps holding back a grin and laugh. It was funny to see the embarrassed and gloomy look that showed on Sen face at being forgotten so plainly.
Master Hawkins led Momoko and Sen to a big room in the eastern wing and then took Kail and me to the far west side. To where in Master Hawkins were the ‘royal guests’ rooms. He took me to the largest one that was as big as a normal sized house, and said this one was mine. He was going to take Kail to another room and Kail had told me this was the way it was, because it wasn't right that a man slept in another man's rooms unless...
I smiled at Master Hawkins. “Master Hawkins Kail won't need another room.” I caught Kail’s hand and pulled him back to me, where my chest could touch his.
Kail gave me a confused look.
So did Master Hawkins. “Why won't Lord Gin...” he looked closer at Kail and me. He noticed
I called him 'Kail' with no honorifics or titles.
Kail blinked for a second and caught on. He gave me one of his rare devilish smiles, that said you’re-all-mine, and then he looked to Master Hawkins.
The old man didn't seem too surprised at us. Most people would kill over.
He looked us and nodded as if he understood some grate secret.
He lifted my bushy eyebrows. “It would be my guess you will only need one futon.”
I nodded looking back to Kail. He pulled kisses and me even closer my lightly.
“I have something to teach you later,” he whispered in my ear in a way the sent delighted chills down my spine.
The old man turned away and started walking away muttering, “Just likes the Emperor. But young and randy. When will they learn...”
our stuff was brought into our room and the servants dropped off the futon. Then we were all alone.
The next hour we spent testing the solid surfaces of the room. The I went to have a look around because Kail had some work to do for the months he missed. I wondered in the endless hallways, big rooms that were filled with people and soon I found a hidden door in one of the rooms, behind a painting that was hung like a curtain. T leads in to a big library. I was sure I was in heaven. I picked a book from an eye level shelf and sat in the big chair before the warm fire and read it. An hour passed when I was done and I got up. I put the book back and a book on the top level caught my eye. I reached for it, but I was still a few inches to short.
“Darn,” I muttered in English.
I stretched, but was still too short. Suddenly a hand reached up and picked it off the shelf.
I turned to see who it was and it was a very tall and very handsome young man. He was well over six feet tall and maybe twenty-five and very hot. He looked at me with a small smile. I felt myself flush and ducked under his arm. I stood a few feet away making sure I had a clear path to the door.
He held the book out to me.
“Thank you,” I said taking the book and holding it to my chest. He just smiled and picked up another book, sat in my chair and began to read. So I found a good spot on the floor and close to the books and started to read.
The smell of the old leather binding, paper crisp with old age and the sweet smell of the light smoke made everything prefect. It was my hope the man would leave soon as I started reading, but once I started to read everything around me just went blink. My mind was focused on the story.
I came to a funny part in the book and giggled, and then I stopped remembering there was someone else in the room. I looked over the top of the book's pages at the chair. The man had stopped reading and was now looking at me with a surprise.
I got up and went over to him, and knelt in front of him and pointed at what I had read.
“There,” I said.
He read it and then grinned. “Now I see why you laughed.” he looked over to me.
“I'm sorry for earlier. I am Ashlynn De rose, a guest of the Emperor. I saved his life and had to come for a big dinner thing in a few weeks to meet him. I was having a look around and found this room. It’s amazing,” I said looking around, “I am sure this is heaven. I love to read.” I made a small bow for I was still on the ground.
“I'm Ryuu. Nice to meet you. So you're the one who saved Fath...the Emperor huh?” he said.
I nodded. “Yes I did. But now I'm thinking of running before I'm dragged to meet him.” I said shaking my head.
“Why?” he asked.
I sat back and started to tell my tale. When I was done I said. “Even if you believe it, it's all true and I really am a girl. You see I don't want to go near the Emperor, because I'm scared he may want me for one of his playthings and I have Kail.” I shut my mouth the moment I realized I had told my story to someone, but not just anyone.
Someone I knew nothing about! Idiot! Idiot!
“Well your story is an interesting one. Many people have no strange tales such as I. Feel free to use the library as much as you like,” he said.
I smiled at him. “May I borrow the book?”
He nodded.
And with that I continued to wonder around till nightfall when supper was served and Kail and I went to bed.


*~*~*~*~*


Next week came and went with me spending the days reading and the nights with Kail. But come the first day of the second week everyone became a flurry of activities. Taking out decorations and dusting everything off. Cleaning every corner, nook, and cranny possible.
The servants were running about to finish in time. I was walking down a hallway and saw a maid try to lift a heavy room by herself. I went to her.
“Get that to me.” I said taking the rug and putting it over my shoulder. Where does this go?” I asked.
She flushed. “Down the hall to the laundry rooms.”
I followed her and took it to the room. I was then ordered to clean the rug by another servant and was happy to help, verse all the boring time I spent doing nothing, one can only read so much before one's mind turned to go. I helped the others clan out the huge dining hall and polish the floors and tables. Then I was handed two crates of dusty clothes, rugs, and silks from a closet and told to go and beat them clean.
I walked down the hallway that led to an outside area. Someone was running after me, but I didn't notice till they yelled, “Hey watch out!” but it was too late. I tripped over the rug, the crates went flying creating a cloud of dust and then I landed right on top of someone.
“Damn,” I cursed.
I stood and dusted myself off. Then looked to the person I had hit. It was of all people, Yume!
I pulled her up and dusted her off. The person that was following me stopped when she saw Yume. She bowed and walked away.
I turned to Yume. “What are you doing?”
She grinned impishly at me. “Well I want to see you so I left for a while. A few days ago Kei woke up, and needed to see you because I didn't have another medicine left after yesterday. Wanted to talk,”
I grinned at her. “Sure. Let’s go to my room, Kail isn't here, and he working it should be fine. But first I need to pick this stuff up.” I looked at all the dusty thing now lying on the floor.
She waved her hand and a maid appeared. “Clean this up, please.” she told the maid.
The maid bowed. “Yes your Highness.”
And with that Yume took my hand and we went to my room.
Half an hour later a sat at a table making Kei's medicine, while she hummed happily.
“You know you are my only friend,” she said randomly.
I looked up. “Why?”
“Well everyone hates me because Kei is very nice to me, as well as my rank keeps others away.” she said looking in my eyes.
“Well then how bout I tell you another secret. But in return I get to meet Kei.” I said going back to work.
“Deal.”
“Okay not only am I a woman, but I'm a princess and heir to my own country, or I was before I came here.”
She laughed. “You are indeed a great person. I shall take you to meet Kei.”
She helps me into my female Yucatan and some make up for fun. So we left my room. She led me in a winding maze of halls and then we made it to a room that had big doors, she entered without knocking and pulled me with her. The room was even bigger than mine and in the center of this room was a platform and on that was a futon. In the futon was Kei his eyes were closed, but his breathing was too fast to be asleep. Momo pushed me forward till I was at the side of the futon. I sat down.
“Yume?” he asked opening his eyes. When he saw me instead of Yume his eyes widened.
Then Yume sat next to me in his view. His eyes went to Yume.
“Kei this is Ashlynn, she's the one who saved you. She's a great person and she's my friend. She was to one who sewed you up and made everything OK. She even makes your medicine.” Yume said smiling and looking from me to him.
I made a small bowl. “I am Ashlynn de rose, princess and heir of France. As well as swordsman, doctor, and any other thing that is needed at the moment.” I said smiling at him.
He reached his hand out to mine and took it. “Thank you not only for saving me but Taking good care of Yume.”
“It's fine. And now I'll take a good look at you to make sure your doing well. Doctor in the era doesn’t know what they’re doing. Yume you'll help.” I said.
I took out the medicine and sat it down. I pulled back his covers about half way, but he stopped me looking at Yume.
“She should leave, this is no place for her,” he said quietly.
“Why?” I asked puzzled.
He turned red a bit. “Women should not be in the same room as a naked man even if he is being taken care of.”
I lifted a brow. “So you're saying I'm not a lady? I saved your life and I don't care if you’re naked and neither does she. She's seen it all you know. She helped me the first time to so it shouldn't matter.” I said with a sly smile.
He turned redder. “No....” he whispered embarrassed.
I looked to Yume she was trying to hide her face. “I'm going to tell him everything otherwise this will take you years then it'll be too late.” I turned to Kei. “She loves you okay and I don't see any reason to be otherwise. So being a good boy and let us girls take care of you okay?” I asked.
He nodded.
I took his blanks off and settled them around his waist. He would have one huge scar, but that's was worth the price of being alive. Yume put on the medicine and gave him the medicine he had to drink by mouth. She didn't want to but I made them and it ended up that they kiss for a few minutes till a cleared my throat.
Everything from that point went quite nice I must say. So I left them alone. I walked to the door and was about to close it behind me when Kei said, “Thank you. For everything thing.” I smiled and left.
Later when I was back in my room I had to wonder what would happen over the next week till I meet the Emperor.
Chapter 12
No longer together


Over the next week Kail took off from his work and kept me locked in the room with him, making me forget about the Emperor. I ran into a consoler of the Emperor and he saw fit to warn me against the Emperor, because I was a ‘beauty the Emperor could not wait to have if he saw me’ and I freaked over remembering everything I heard of the pervert.
And he did a great job I may add until I woke up the morning I was to meet the Emperor. I saw fit to get dressed and run away till Kail woke. It worked till I was out in a stone courtyard that leads to serval large buildings in which men came and went, but when I heard the sound of swords I was lost. I followed the heavenly sound and soon found myself in a dojo. The men all stopped, paused, or froze when they saw me walk in. and it was my mistake when I had dressed in woman’s clothes today. Well I had to do something, so I might as well go with it.
I smiled. “Hello, would you men mind if I trained with you?”
They all looked dumbstruck. Then one looked at me with his squinty eyes. He was tall maybe six three and well muscled. “Why would a woman be here? You can’t do shit, so get out!”
I glared at him and he swallowed.
“Are you saying that I can’t handle a sword?” I asked in a sweet voice that didn’t match my face.
“Yeah that’s what he said.” Another man stepped forward.
“Well then,” I said taking off my cloak that hid my swords, “Why don’t we see then?”
I tossed it aside and pulled out a sword.
“Who wants to be first?” I asked. I stood there the point of my sword barely touching the ground.
A man waded from the back forward. He was the same height of Kail, but a little leaner in body. He had long gold hair, and brilliant green eyes.
“I will.” was all he said.
I stepped into a fight stance and held my sword at the ready. He came at me fast. So that the untrained eye wouldn’t pick up his movement. But I did. I side stepped just as fast and brought the back of my blade down on his shoulder.
He dropped his sword and fell to one knee facing my back. I placed my sword back into its sheath and stood upright. I faced the men who stared at me with wide eyes and hanging mouths. I smiled. I turned around and pulled the man up.
I expected him to push me away or curse at me but instead he grinned.
“Nice hit. Where did a woman learn to use a sword like that?” he asked.
“Nowhere, I learned by myself.” I said.
“No way!” he said in shock.
I nodded. I let go of him as soon as he patted my shoulder. He rolled his shoulder and winced.
“I only used the back of my blade lightly so you should only have a bruise or two. Take it lightly for a few days.” I said patting him on the shoulder.
He winced. “Sure, but if that was light I hate to think of how painful it would be to be hit by that full force.” he said. He thought about it for a minute and shuddered.
“You wouldn’t ever see the light of day again,” I said cheerfully. I turned to the men again. “Any of you want to go next?”
They whispered among themselves and the grinned and smirked at me. “Sure thing, my Lady,” one of them said. “How about we let you go against our best men here?”
“Sure! Sounds like fun,” I said, bouncing on the balls of my feet.
“Hey! Go get the captain!” he yelled.
I waited. A man ran out and came back soon with a tall slender man who had three swords at the right of his waist. He was handsome. Very handsome. And he wore an expression of distaste.
I smiled at him and pulled out both of my swords. His expression still didn’t change. He took a fight stance and so did I. He came at me slower than the last guy. I saw all his weak points and how he stressed his stronger points. As I blocked he speed up more hitting my sword harder. I could tell he was holding back a lot and he could easily do better, I side step his attack and he flew passed me I dodged his attacks for a time and then placed my swords back in their sheath. As he came at me not notice I had no swords I grabbed his sword between my palms and stopped it.

“Can you please stop holding back and testing me. I’m going bored,” I complained.
His eyes narrowed and then he stepped back with an evil smile.
“Sure thing,” I he said. I heard a note in his voice. He was mad, because he thought I was making fun of him.
The next thing I knew we were fighting again. This time it was different. Dangerous and fun. He was going to his limits and I was still playing with him.
The men of the dojo had gone quite from there laughing and watched as if they could believe it. Soon I was bored and I stilted my sword angle just enough to send his sword flying. I knocked him down to his knees with a quick hit and pointed the tip of my sword to his throat. He stared down my blade to my face. His face was white and his eyes large.
I laughed and stepped back. “Good match. Nice to meet you, I’m Ashlynn.” I held my hand down towards him.
He looked about Kail’s age, maybe a year more.
He looked at my hand, as if it would bite him. His face was no longer white but it was pale and he looked furious.
“Take the hand,” I suggested, “I won’t bite I promise.”
He slowly reached for my hand and took it to everyone shocked gasp. I started to help him up and the door banged up.
“ASH! WHERE ARE YOU?” Kail yelled into the dojo.
I whipped my head around to see him in his morning robe, long hair falling in his face, and he was I think not mad but more worried.
“Shit,” was what I had said as he banged in and the men holding my hand let go and he fell to the ground with a thud.
Kail looked from face to face till he saw me. All of me. In my girl’s clothes
I smiled weakly and waved at him. “Hi Kail…”
He ran over to me and looked me over.
“What are you doing,” I asked him.
“You’re asking me? You snuck out in the middle of the night! And he I find you dressed like this! Like a girl! And you’re going to meet the Emperor today! What were you thinking!?” he asked vexed.
“Well I was kind of going to run away back home before I met him that what I dressed like this, but I heard the sound of swords and couldn’t stop. It pulled me towards it.” I said rubbing the back of my head.
He just stared at me.
“You mean she’s a he!” the men said from behind me.
“It’s a guy!”
The captain stood behind Kail and tapped him on the shoulder.
“Did I hear right? Kail?” he asked. His face was serious.
Kail turned to him. “Yes…”
The captain then grinned and hugged him.
“It’s me! Oh it was so long almost ten years!”
“WHAT-?!” Kail gasped.
I felt sometime in me snap and I felt myself getting mad. I grabbed Kail about the waist and pulled him back away from the captain and stepped in front of him
“Kail’s mine! Touch him again and I’ll cut off something you might want to keep,” I warned.
He stared at me then laughed. “YOU! AND HIM?!” he bent over laughing. Soon he straitening and wiped tears from his eyes. “Although you dress like a girl, you a boy. No matter how you look at Kail he could never be gay. And you can’t be a girl because of how you use a sword! Beside the Emperor and his sons, I’m the best swordsman in the whole Empire! If he’s yours prove it!” he was still laughing.
I smiled. “Fine.” I turned to Kail, leaned up on my toes twining my arms around his neck and pulled him down. I licked his lips and that was all the invitation he need. Kail pressed his lips to mine. Going on an impulse I opened my lips and his tongue slipped between them.
I pressed the full length of my boy against his.
The entire room was dead silent. The captain was no longer laughing.
I smiled against Kail lips. This time he licked mine. He smiled too, a sly. Full of mischief.
I went to step away from Kail, but he held fast to me, he leaned down to bite my ear.
I giggled and looked to the captain. His mouth hung open and his face was red. I grinned my foxy grin for him.
“Like I said he’s mine.”
“Y-y-yo-you and K-Kail!” was all that came out in a jumbled mess.
I patted Kail shoulder and he let go of me, but that he wanted to if his eyes said anything. I pick it up my stuff and then took Kail’s hand. I patted the captain on the shoulder.
“I’m afraid I have to go, but if you want another match before I leave, come find me,” I said as Kail pulled me behind him on the way out. I smiled and waved bye to the others. The stupidly waved back.
Once we were outside in the fresh air I breathed deep.
“Kail do I really have to meet the Emperor?” I asked. I still hated the idea, it made my edge.
“Yes.”
He dragged me back to our room and set about undressing me.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked trying to cover myself and throw a shoe at him at the same time. As much as I loved it I was totally and completely embarrassed. As he tried to look at my face I ducked my head. My cheeks felt hot and I knew I was blushing.
He caught me as I tried to duck around him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
His eyes peered into my red face.
“I’m embarrassed!” I said felling tears flow from my eyes.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry. You fine now. You shouldn’t be embarrassed,” he whispered in my ear.
“I know, but I am!” I wailed.
He rubbed my back and soon my tears stopped but I was hiccupping.
“There now,” he said and smiled.
He helped me dress in my men’s cloths and tie my hair back.
I looked in a mirror I looked more and more like my mom. Beautiful.
“The feast will start in a few hours so stay close. I’m sure that you have been warned about the Emperor?” Kail asked a crease in his brow.
I nodded. “He has a thing for beautiful women and men.”
“Which in either case I ask you to stay a goodly distance from him as possible? Promise me.”
“I promise,” I said. I gave him a quick kiss.
“I have to go and work but I will see you at the dinner.” he kissed my forehead and left. Dress in his thick black kimono. I had felt it just as he hugged me it was made of the softest cotton.
I sat on the floor. My sword making a thunk as they hit the floor. I leaned back.
I’ve been here six months. Wow.
And it’s been the best six months of my life. I found out that I had emotions I didn’t know about and that I could be my own person and not be controlled. I found love and had pleasures so few had. Adventures left and right. Torture and near death experiences. This wasn’t what I thought my life would be, but now I can’t see my life any other way.
I laughed. I’ve even had sometime where things didn’t go the way I hoped.
I sat up and went to my trunk here at the palace. I moved things aside till I found a small worn black leather book tied with a red ribbon. Leda’s diary.
Tonight I would ask Kail what happened to Leda.
I sat and read more of the book. I was only half way through.


Today day there was more fighting the north. He was called away to the emperor. The emperor is nothing more than a boy. The war is starting to come to an end. Today there was I fire in the forest and everyone was sent into a panic. I sat around doing nothing the whole day so I dressed in men clothes and left hiding my hair under a hat. People questioned me on my eyes but no one stopped me as I went into the town. I bought some clothes and a necklace for him when he comes back. I met other woman of the town and made some new friends. Even a cat seemed to like me. But in the end I couldn’t wait for him to come back to me and hold me in his arms.

I skipped a few pages and read on.

He did come back for a few weeks and the mansion had been attacked while he was away. But my maids had safely protected me. I longed for him and when he came back he was somehow changed. Soon after he was told of the joy to come. He would have a son. we were married after that and I introduced in the way of court life. I became the most famous, well liked, and the most envious for my beauty and wit. I was even a favorite of the Emperor before he died and his brother became emperor. I spent two years at court then came home. I went every few years after that to see everyone for a few weeks. I love my son and husband more than words could say. But my husband was often gone away on business.

I closed the book. She was truly a great person. And I’m sure that’s why my mom had loved her.
Soon there was a knocking on my door and I opened it to find Sen and Momo. They each took one of my arms and led me to the big doors of the dining room.
“Remember to bow, and then you are to come and take you place on the Emperors left side. But make sure you are far enough to the side. Now go!” she said giving me a small push in the door.
I stumbled and caught myself before I landed face first in front of the hundred or so people at a long table filled with food.
Lucky no one saw. I walked down the length of the giant table and bowed to the Emperor at the head of the table. The place at his left side left open. He was a man in his forties and no to bad looking for his age. He wore the best of the silks possible and they were beautiful. Splashes of reds, yellows, oranges, and blues and greens.
He placed a hand on my shoulder. “No need for you to bow! You saved my life so I should be bowing to you! Come, come and sit my dear boy!” he was grinning from ear to ear and patting the place next to him.
I threw a look to Sen and Momo who walked in and sat at their places down at the end. Momo made a sitting motion.
I swallowed hard and sat next to the Emperor.
“Let the feast begin!” he roared.
People started to eat and I turned too looked at the Emperor.
“So this is the young man who saved my life, and the life of my adviser?” he asked me.
I nodded. “Yes sir.”
He looked me over and I felt as if I was naked before him, instead of in my clothes.
“You are a beauty,” he said.
I felt a chill.
He placed his hand on my thigh and I jumped.
I looked around for help. I saw Ryuu across the table from me. I stared at him tell he stopped talking to the person next to him and looked to me.
“Help,” I mouthed pointing at the thigh the Emperor had his hand on.
Ryuu looked embarrassed, but nodded. He looked the old pervert.
“Your Highness may I ask where you daughters are?” he asked the Emperor.
The emperor smiled. “They are waiting for me to call them in later.”
“Excuse me, but I do believe your hand is somewhere it shouldn’t be,” I said, a bit too loud.
Everyone stared at us.
The Emperor laughed. “Come now no need to be shy. What’s your name?”
I picked his hand off my thigh and dropped it in his lap.
“I am Prince Ash de Rose the Heir of the French Throne.” I said looking at him.
The Emperor’s eye widened and he laughed sliding his hand this time to my butt.
“Beautiful, rich and smart! I like you.” he said with a laugh.
Everyone seemed use to this and looked elsewhere. I sat there knowing there was not much I could do. So I drank what was given to me and ate with the old pervert. Somehow I was dragged from the party to the Emperor’s rooms. I backed up against the wall as he slowly came toward me undressing.
“Why don’t you become mine? Why not stay with me? I could give you anything you want,” he said pressing a hand on either side of my head on the wall.
I pushed him away and ran to the other side of the room.
“BECAUSE I HAVE KAIL!!” I yelled. I threw my shoe at him.
He just came at me. I pushed him away but for an old man he was strong. Finally he succeeded in pushing me down to the floor after a long struggle. I turned to my last option as he stared to tug on my clothes.
I screamed bloody murder through my tears. A shadow in the darkened corner caught my eye. And in a flash the shadow was behind the Emperor and had a white cloth around his neck choking him from behind. I backed up into the far wall and watched as the person covered from head to toe in close fitting black clothes chocked him.
The emperor had his hands at the cloth trying to loosen it, but his face was quickly turning black. I noticed that the cloth was one of the Emperor’s dirty socks. Soon he went limp and his eyes pooped out of his head. The person pushes his now dead body to the ground and looked at me. My sword I saw was by the door on the other side of the room. I made a run for my sword and dodged the person sword as they tried to kill me. I got to my sword and held it high.
I ran for the person in cold fear and fought for my life. The person was quick, and strong. Then there was an explosion and a crash as the roof over my head fell in and I saw fire. A beam caught the leg of the person in black and I was trapped under a piece of the roof. I dug myself out and tried to lift the four hundred pound beam that fell on the person’s leg. A splitting pain filled my head but I pushed it to the back of my mind. I lifted the beam grunting and shifted it so the person was free. I knew the person wouldn’t be able to move. I could tell he was a man by his tall muscular build. He was well over six four and at least one-eighty. I could carry him.
I put an arm under his shoulder and legs and huffed as I lifted him up. I ran ignoring the pain of my whole body.
“Arrow! Arrow where are you?!” a man yelled. I was running down the main hall swiftly and soon six others dressed as him were following me. The man in my arm yelled, “Get out of here!”
Then part of the burning building fell into piece behind me, trapping them.
I ran to find Kail, but didn’t find him. Crying I ran out the palace. I ran and fell down the front steppes with the man in my arms. I landed at the bottom almost knocked out. The cold stones pressing into my side.
The rain cried over us all.
“ASHLYNN!” someone yell desperately behind me yelled.
Kail!
The people in black saw us, and so did Kail. The people were behind him so as he ran toward us he didn’t see them. He was almost to us then a sword pierced his gut. His blood sprayed in an arch over me.
“Kail!” I screamed. He dropped to the ground. His blood splattering the ground.
I crawled with my broken body to him, but he was too far away. The people came to the man I had saved.
The biggest one picked him up. I was fading. My eyes going weak and my body giving up.
“Save him!” the man said pointing at me as I dragged my way slowly towards Kail.
“Kail,” I moan/screamed weakly.
“Be happy,” he whispered to me. One of the people in black came for me. I was only a hand width away from him. I stretched out my hand for his, and then I was picked up gently and then carried away from Kail.
I screamed and fought, but I was too weak.
“NO,” I sobbed brokenly. “Kail! No, don’t! Live! Let me go back to him! Let me die by his side!” was my finally scream as I gave into my pain. The crushing force of my pain flooded as my damn broke. My body crushed and broken, my soul and heart battered and beaten. It was too much. I was dying, and soon my world turned black.
As my world faded into nothingness the last thing I saw was the black burning smoke of the palace and Kail laying there on the ground in a lake of ruby red blood, dead. His hand reaching toward me and his sightless glossy eyes looking into mine.
My last wish never came true. To die by his side.
Chapter 13
Lost in the darkness


I was numb, and everything around me was meaningless.
I had woken three day after I had been taken, by the ninjas. The first person I saw was one of the one who had attacked the palace. They told me that being saved by Arrow-sama was something unheard of, that I should rejoice in not being killed. I just laid there and stared at the ceiling of the room I was in. I was brought food. I didn’t eat. I was brought water. I didn’t drink. I simply lay there.
I had watched Kail die, and now everything was black and white. I didn’t care anymore, I couldn’t care anymore. Then came the night. The scene of Kail dying, playing over and over in my nightmare, my reaching out and being unable to save him this time. To touch his hand one last time…
I woke up to the cool night air and tears coursing down my cheeks into my hair. I tried to lift my arm to cover my eyes, but I couldn’t even do that. I cried even harder as the numbness over my body, mind, and heart faded finally and pain flooded my body. The excruciating pain made me wish I had died. Nothing could be worse than this!
I ended up just like my mother! Now all that’s left is to fade away…Kail…I’m sorry, it because of me you died…
Sometime in the hours before dawn I had no tears left to cry, my I stared at the world through glazed eyes. I didn’t sleep and I watched as the shadows of the night turn to the light of the morning.
There was a knock on the door and then it slid open. A young woman walked in. she was wear a thin and short black kimono with a black fish net shirt underneath. Her hair was tied up in a tight bun and the back of her head showing her beautiful sharp face. Her black eyes looked me over and saw the clean path the tear had made on my cheeks.
Her face softened. “I see you have finally realized it. You body is broken in many places. It will take a while to heal. I am Miu by the way, and thank you for saving my brother. He told me what you did for him.”
I just looked at her, but I couldn’t see her. My glazed eyes looked through her.
She sat down and was quite for a while.
“You see he is the only family I have left. And no one has ever saved his life before. I guess this kind of makes you my hero too. He told me of everything that happened-”
“Did he? Did your brother tell you that after I saved him my lover was a few feet away when I fall down the steps? Did he tell you when I landed; my lover was coming to pick me up in his arms? Did he tell you that as I lay there broken and bloody the others attacked my lover from behind? That he was only a few feet from me when I watched the sword go through his back and out his gut? That I was sprayed and splattered with my love’s blood? That even after he fell I crawled to him and reached out a hand to hold his so we could die together? That my love reached out too, but just before our hands touch I was taken away, and I watched him die? That his last words to me were ‘be happy’ to me? That I couldn’t die with him as my final wish?” I asked her in a dead voice. Its haunted tone so clear in that one voice even the dead could hear it.
She sat back shocked. Her eyes dazed, her body shaking.
“I was so close to him, to touch men one last time, only to be taken away and my last memory of him laying dead in a lake of his own blood, small rivers being carried away from his body by the rain,” I said looking at her with my dead glazened eyes.
Her face showed a deep sadness with her shock.
“Now you understand why I wanted to die. He was all I had.” I whispered.
“Yes I do, but trust me, even though you wish for death you are alive which means that fate has another plan for you. I know well the path you are on. You will never be the same, but things do get better. My brother, he has a broken leg, but you will take longer to heal. I will be taking care of you. When you heal we will talk.” she said.
Her mixed a few things together and lifted my head, pressing the tin cup to my lips.
I drank the bitter juice she gave me and found myself being pulled into sleep, my body turning numb.


*~*~*~*~*~*


Everything after that blend together with my new black and white world, some things not making sense and other not enough to care about. Day after day, sun rose and sun set, everything was the same. I lay there unable to move. I drink the water I’m given, and I cried till I could cry no more.
Days past, and those days turned to weeks. In those weeks I was able to start to move so I slowly begin to train myself again.
I lift the sword in my hand and started off working slowly. I slowly increased the pace and speed, till my body protested in pain. I dropped the sword and grabbed my side. There was a wet sticky feeling under my hand. I slid down the wall leaving streaks of crimson dripping down the wall.
“Ugh,” I groaned.
I tilted my head back against the wall, breathing hard. I pressed my hand to my left side right under my ribs. It was sodden with thick fresh blood.
I sat here for a while, my blood dripping over my palm and between my fingers. I found myself wondering what death was like. I had faced it so many times, but I never really paid to close a mind to it.
It seems so peaceful. Setting you free from your prison and worldly pains. I wonder if anyone else died. Burned to death? Or slaughtered?
As I looked at the wall the far end of the room the door opened and Miu rushed into me.
“What are you doing?!” she gasped when she saw the blood. “Trying to kill yourself?” she winced. “I didn’t mean…”
“I can see what you’re trying to say. But as you know I no longer care if I live,” I said.
“Well then stay alive for me. I need you. Now let’s get you to the room, quickly.”
She put one her arms under my shoulder and lifted. I stood and swayed as she walked me back to my room. The next day I was running a fever. I slept all that day and the next as well, well in the afternoon of the third day.
When opened my eyes it was to see arrow a sleep with his back against the wall facing me. I realized that this was the first time I had seen his face. It was sharp and beautiful like Miu, but his skin was darker then her’s. A light tan.
In his sleep he mumbled.
I felt a nerve snap.
“Hey! Get out!” I yelled at him.
He jumped up immediately and winced falling back down to the floor rubbing his left leg.
I glared at him. “Get out of this room. Now,” I said. I sounded more like an angry wolf growling.
He sat there against the wall and looked me over, under all my blankets.
“I wanted to talk to you alone, but you were sleeping and I was tried, so I feel asleep. I’m sorry if you do not want me here,” he said looking down and away from my glaring eyes. “I wanted to say sorry and thank you for saving my life. You were a surprise. I had no idea what I was thinking.”
At this last statement I spit at him trying to get up and out of the futon.
“YOU HAVE NO IDEA,” I screeched. “You had no idea what you were doing!? Do you know because I saved you my only reason to live was killed!” I yelled at him. I had given up and standing, now I crawled towards him my hand to my bleeding side. “You are the reason Kail was killed in front of me! You’re the reason he died! And you’re the reason I couldn’t die by his side! How dare you! You think you have the right!”
He winced at me yelling and his eyes were wide.
I was at him now and put my free hand to his throat.
“I understand if you’re mad, but-” he stopped as a squeezed harder.
“You have no idea. I’m not mad, I’m not pissed. I beyond furious. You have no idea of what you’ve done,” I said in a deadly low voice. “One day you will have wished you had never killed him and saved me. Now get out!” I said squeezing a little harder. His face was a pale gray.
“You should be grateful to be alive,” he gasped.
I slapped him with my other hand leaving a welt and a bloody handprint on his cheek.
“I would have died happy, you bastard. Now leave! You have no idea what it is to loss something important to you something that means more to you then life…” I whispered, looking away. I pressed my hand back to my side. Tears stung my eyes and fell to the ground.
“Leave me!” I screamed.
I turned, but he was already gone. I lay back down and soon Miu came in the change my bandages. She didn’t ask a question, and I was willing to bet she already knew.
“Done,” she said, giving me a pat on the arm. She helped me lay down, and then she sat there looking at the floor.
“You know my brother doesn’t know and it’s not his fault. He was taken away young to train and never really knew anyone enough to know or care. I think he’s starting to learn with me, and you. You were the first person to save him from dying, and to show him kindness. You are the first person he had a thought about saving, so do not hate him for it. He thought that he was returning the favor you did for him. Giving him back his life.”
“He will need to learn how the world works or he will die,” was all I said.
She nodded and left. I lay there on my back and thought over my life here in this ancient world. Full of danger, sweetness, love, hate, surprise, good people, bad people, and regret. But I would not give it up for anything. I’m glad that I had been brought here, but I still wanted it all to end.
I feel asleep with Kail’s name on my lips.


*~*~*~*~*


The fog was so thick it seemed as its own creature, lurking on the ground. The misty shadows shifted as I walked in the forest that surrounded the ninja village on all sides, hiding it from everyone, but those who knew what to look for. It has been over a month now since I came here and I found myself the same as before. A mere empty shell filled with hate, regret, loneliness and the wish for death.
A hand snaked out of the mist and grabbed my wrist and I spun on heel to fight, but it was Miu.
“Why are you out here on a day like this? You have only just finished healing! We need to get back. A group is coming back from a mission and we need to prepare. Come on,” she said tugging my back to the house. She set to boiling water in the kitchen and ripping cloth into strips.
“Why are you doing that?” I asked.
“Because sometimes they don’t always come back in one piece,” she said somberly.
“Oh,” I said and went to get dry herbs from my room.
I sat down in a corner and started to crush the herbs then I looked up. “Miu what kinds of wounds may happen?”
She didn’t look up from what she was doing. “The may have deep cuts, or poisoned tipped arrows, knives, or spikes in them, or one could have been burned, mangled, gutted, or slashed with swords. Anything could have happened.”
I mixed up the things needed and began to work. A paste that would be good from stopping the bleeding of a deep cut to heal burns. Next came a drinking one to numb the body, and the heal poisoning. I mixed them slowly and poured them into vials, careful not to spill a drop.
I placed them in the pocket I had sewn on to my short kimono like Miu’s. She turned to me then.
“The people who are coming will not know you. You must be careful around them till Brother and I talk to them, okay?”
I nodded.
In the distance a sharp keen whistle came from the fog.
Miu’s head snapped up. “That’s them. They will be here soon. Other will go out to meet them.”
I moved with her and we looked out the door even though we couldn’t see anything. It was quick, quicker then I would have thought, but I saw four shapes darting in the hazy mist. Two appeared to be carrying other. And soon the burst through the fog and stand before the ledge of the room that stuck out to sit on. They were all covered from head to toe in black, and I was unable to make out if they were only just men.
I saw that the smallest one was carrying someone on their back and I went to them. I touched the person’s arm safely and gently took the person on his back into my arms. I walked inside and laid the person out on a mat Miu had laid out for this. I went outside.
“I will need all those who are injured in here and the others the leave tell I say it is okay,” I said to everyone. I gave Miu a look and she nodded.
“Take the others inside there are the worst. The others can wait. Do as she says. No questions,” she ordered.
I backed up to let the others bring in the people they carried. They laid them down and left. I went to close the door. Miu was there.
“Please take care of them. I know we own you much for what we have done, but please,” she whispered.
“It is no you who owns me. Only your brother. I will take care of them I promise, none will die,” I told her in the quite voice I had taken on since my world was no longer mine to control.
The voice was quite, toneless, and above all dead.
She nodded and I closed the door. I sat next to the first person. I held out a sharp thin knife and paused.
“What is it?” I asked.
Out from the shadows came one of the black clad ninjas.
“This is Rin. The enemy caught him and they stabbed his through the heart. He is dead, so it is best you tend to the others first, before they die.” the voice was deep and silky. The voice of a young man.
“I know what I am doing and if you heard me I said no one will die. So leave me to my work and if anyone else comes in here I don’t care who it is I was slit his or her throat. I have no reason to care if I kill any one anymore,” I said lightly slipping the knife in the suit this Rin wore.
“As you wish,” he said and disappeared.
I cut way all the clothes the young one wore and looked him over. He was no more than thirteen and had short spiky hair on the top of his head and a short ponytail. His hair color was black and icy blond, and he was cute, and one day would turn into a beautiful young man.
He had indeed been stabbed in the heart and it had been twisted a few times. I pressed on ear to his chest. The movement was so little you wouldn’t be able to see it with your eyes you would have to feel it, but he breathed. But he was almost dead. I checked his pulse. It was less hen his breathing.
First time I had to do was getting him to breathe more. I sucked in air, pinched his nose and pressed my mouth to his. His chest expanded and I pressed on the twice and gave him my breath again. After six times he coughed a little and his breath became a fast shallow panting. His pulse was better to.
I took out a vial for poison and took a long drank and pressed my mouth to his to make him drank. He did.
Next I looked at his wound. It was bad. I took out a special vial of silvery liquid and unstopped it. I bit my finger and squeezed three dropped of blood in it, and shook it. Slowly I poured it into the deep wound. This would start to the heal fast and it would be heal in three days, but at the cost of a burning fever he may not live through. I cleaned his body quickly and coved him in a blanket.
Then I moved on to the next. It was a woman in her early twenties. She had been hit with six poison tipped arrows and a knife in the arms. I made her too drink for the poison. I cleaned her too and covered her as well.
The others were a set of twin boys a year or two older than me and both beautiful. They had deep gashes all over their bodies. I looked over the wounds. Swords, knives, daggers, arrows, and gashes from a throwing blade.
I cleaned all the wounds and pour alcohol into them to stop infection. Their bodies jerk and spasmed, but they didn’t wake. I sewed them up and washed them down. I covered them as well.
I went to the door and wiped my head a few hours had passed. I went out and closed the door behind me seven pairs of eyes trained on me. The people were in different places. One stood on a thick limb twenty feet in a tree, one on the ground, the porch, and even on the roof.
“What-”
I raised a hand.
“No questions. My orders are: no one is to go in that room till I say and no is to be loud. They need their rest. No those who are still hurt come to me now.
A tall well muscled man stood behind me, looking down at my head. I turned around to face him. He too was beautiful. His look was one of distrust.
“Why should we follow your orders?” he asked. He sounded like a bear.
I glared at him and he swallowed involuntary. “I know what I am doing and I could kill every one of you in an instant so be good and stay quite.
He must be there leader. He was a good one, but I was better.
He made a move to come at me and I sidestepped pressing to three spots on his left side. My fingers came away bloody.
Just as I though.
He fell to the ground, clutching his side.
They all fled around him. One turned on me. “What do you do to him?” he demanded.
“I did nothing, but check him out. His has a few broken ribs and a deep cut on his side. Poisoned is my guess. Lay him on the porch and I’ll take care of him.” I said slowly.
He huffed angrily, but he did it.
I cut the cloth away and place the poison liquid on it then, made him drink the rest. I cleaned his side on the have fresh blood replaced to old. I put a paste over it and the blood stopped. Next I sewed him up and wrapped a bandage around him.
“Keep that on and come to me in a few days to replace it. You’ll live.”
“Damn wench,” he breathed.
“Wench? Hmmmm. Maybe I should poke your side to see if it’s fine then,” I said.
“No please…I beg you have…mercy,” he wheezed.
I shrugged. And then I took care of the rest. When I was done I got a bucket of water and went back in the room. I sat against the wall and waited. The fever sits in soon. Rin’s body was covered in sweat already and I wiped him clean. I put a cold rag to his forehead. He shivered and soon his body was shaking like leaves in the wind. Took care of him and gave some water to the others who still slept.
I stayed awake for two days taking care of them; they all passed in and out like I had when I was being tortured by the monks.
I pressed my hand to his flesh. Cooler, but this to warm. I took off my clothes and lay naked next to him. I pulled him close and he snuggled as humanly possible to me. I was embarrassed for a second, but his shivers pulled my back. He pressed hi head to my chest and I put my head on his shoulder.
My mind drifted down that path and soon I was asleep.
I opened my eyes to see the light before dawn. Rin’s shivers had stopped and now he slept peacefully with me pressed to him chest. Unthinkingly hugging me to him for comfort. I slowly pulled away and reached for my short outfit. A gentle grip held my wrist. I looked back at Rin.
He blurry eyes focused on me. “Are you a goddess?”
“No, but I will settle to be called Ashlynn.” I said. I pulled free and dressed, hen a sat next to him.
“Am I dead now?”
“No. I saved you, but you almost died.” I said touching his forehead. I suddenly wished he were my little brother.
His hand roamed till his found the scar of the wound over his heart. His pretty amber eyes looked into mine. “Thank you, big sister.”
I nodded. The others were waking to. I got up and went to the kitchen. I cooked some chicken and made soup and tea. I put it all on a big tray and carried it to the room. I closed the door behind me. I gave everyone their food and fed the twins. No one questioned why I was here yet, but they would soon. Rin tried to stand on shaky legs. I got under his arm and placed it around my shoulder. As we walked out everyone was still. They looked at him and then turned their eyes to me.
They looked at me with so many different faces; I didn’t know what to do.
“He’s alive!” someone whispered in shock.
After that everyone either trusted me or wanted to kill me.
The ones that trusted me pulled at my heart and made me think of Kail. The ones that wanted to kill me reminded me of just how much I wish I was already dead and with Kail. Both stained my heart and made me wish for what I couldn’t have.
One the night of my third week here I found a small meadow into woods and I watched as the fireflies danced together, in melody. I went there every night and one night I fell asleep. I woke to see Arrow standing in the middle of the meadow and circled by the fireflies, looking at the moonless sky.
I got up and went over to him.
“Arrow. Promise me when I ask you will kill me. I can’t life forever anymore alone in this meaningless life.”
He looked at me.
“I will,” he promised and I simply went back to the village.

The village had everything possibly needed to live and operate on its own. I spent days wandering about after training and saw that no one in the village was younger than six years old and they all worked. When not on missions they took care and did farming. They were their own little town. I tried to find things I could do, but nothing interested me for long and the small sparks of my curiosity died quickly. I watched the children play by the steam. Dogs chase the small animals, how they made their clothes. It was all fun for a while then a though of Kail would scream in my head, “How can you be happy when I’m dead?”
I saw that arrow watched me, and so did everyone else but they made it look like they weren’t.
I trained and healed, and lived a shadow of my past.
Chapter 14
War


I turned away and ran into the forest. I done been a week since the others came back, and I had been training with them. I would become one of them.
Darts flew out from the trees and I twist doing a flip on to a branch of a tree.
Thud!
Thud!
Thud!
Three darts hit the tree where my head would have been.
Sari clapped as she stepped out from the shade of the tree the darts had come from. She was one of the few female ninjas. She was the same height as I was and she had long black hair like mine to but she had a thin streak of brown form her left temple. She was thin like me and she had a chest to rival my own, but I was still prettier.
“Nice try,” I said hopping from the tree. “But you might want to try and not snap a twig under your foot next time.
She sighed. “I should have known. Anyway I came to get you. Miu wants you at the meeting for the next mission of our best group. Maybe she’ll make you one of us.” she smiled.
I smiled back, but it was a dry smile. Since I have gotten here I still had my wish, but I lived for the moment when fate would show me why I was still alive.
“Maybe,” I said and followed her. She led me back to the village and I walked off to the biggest house of
Them all. Miu was the leader of the village and the master of all the ninjas. She was sitting in the room where the twins still where. One was sitting up and the other laying down, but they were both awake. Their names where Jnii and the other was Kii. The only way to tell them apart was from the beauty mark under Kii’s left eye.
Quick footsteps came up behind me and thin muscled arms wrapped around me waist. Rin’s face popped around my shoulder.
“Hey big sister! You came back. Arrow said you ran away,” he said in his sweet young tenor.
I patted his head. “No I did not and it seems that now I’m fully healed I am going to have to kill him,” I said lightheartedly as I could. Arrow hadn’t come near me since that night.
He placed his head on my shoulder. “Not if I do first. Anyway I heard you’re going to be one of us! Good luck, we’ll have to see if you’re up to it.”
“Sure thing kid, now let me do my job.” he let go and followed me in. Kii didn’t talk, so Jnii talked for him.
“Good to see you here, “Jnii said with a grin. Kii smiled at me. He was very shy. He hid behind his brother the first week I took care of them. I sat over them and put on the medicine on their wounds. They were nearly healed.
“Looks good, you’ll be up and running in no time.” I said to him and then I went to his brother. I stared to pull back Kii’s blanket, but he tried to keep it up. “Let go I have to tend to them,” I said with a smile to ease him.
He shook his head.
I looked around. His brother was in the room Miu was cleaning up some stuff, and then there was Rin.
I looked back to him one eyebrow rose in question. He nodded.
“Can I have you guys leave for now?” I asked.
“Again,” they all asked at once.
I nodded. They sighed and left. Rin helping Jnii. When the door closed he let me pull down the sheet. The others were almost scars, but the one on his left shoulder was still deep and bloody. He looked at it and then away.
“It will heal. But I’m sorry, but you may not ever be able to hold anything heavier than a small knife ever again. I think it may be best if you stop being a ninja.”
His eyes snapped to my face, wide with distress.
“I know how you feel. This is all you know and you are scared at what will happen to you. So I will tell you a true story. The story of my life and how everything changed for me. I started at the same place you are now,” and so in a gentle voice I told him my story. His expression never changed from that unreadable mask till I was done. As I told him of Kail and the last time I had seen him, tear fill from my eyes and he lift a hand to brush them away. When I was done I was full out crying for the first time in weeks. I sobbed and sprayed my tears everywhere, but I tried to be quite about it.
When I was done I took a deep breath and smiled at him. “You see?” I asked.
His look said he understood, but that he didn’t buy my smile.
My smile slipped off, like water.
“It's painful, but it gets easier with time. Instead of being a ninja I can teach you medicine and you can be a doctor. Would you like that?”
He thought and nodded.
I smiled at him this time real and put on the new ointment I made. He hissed out a breath, but laid still. When I was done I looked him over. Both his back and his front were covered in g ugly scars, some he shouldn’t have survived. I touched one.
“You are very young. You should not have been hurt like this. You and your brother can’t be that much older than me.” I said, and pulled the sheet back up.
He gave me a strange look. And looked like he was trying hard to do something. Then he opened his mouth.
“…Se…ven…te…en…,” he said. His voice was dry and whispery, but he had one. I fell back in surprise and looked at him through my tangles of hair.
He laughed softly.
“Y-you just talked!” I said sounding like a moron.
His smiled turned into a grin and he nodded.
I sat back where I was before.
“So you’re seventeen?”
He nodded.
“And I’m guessing you’ve never talked to anyone before have you?” I asked.
He nodded.
“No even you’re brother?”
He looked sheepish, but shook his head.
“I think somehow I feel special,” I grinned at him, “I guess I’ll start teaching you when you’re better. I’ll tell the other for you, okay?”
He nodded.
“You’re just a bit older than me. My birthday is in a month, and then I’ll be seventeen,” I said with a smile.
He smiled back.
“Well I think I best go the meeting is soon,” I said standing, “I’ll be back later with supper.”
He smiled as a left.
When I was outside his brother stood up and went back in the room. I went to find Miu. She was up it the tree. I jumped up and sat down next to her.
“I heard something about joining one of your teams,” I said as I plopped down beside her.
“Yeah,” she leaned her hands on my knees, hunching over, “We’re going to need you. You’re a specialist in everything, and even thing we don’t know about. Your fighting skills are unbelievable; your senses are sharper than any of us has seen before.”
“You know,” I said leaning back and staring up, “It sounds like just what I need. I need something to vent all of my hate and anger. Plus Kii won’t ever be able to use his arm again for anything like that again. I think it’s for the best.”
“I know,” she whispered, “I’m the one who sent him on the mission, I’m the one that sent him knowing he would die, just like Rin.” she had her hands in her head.
“It is not your fault they told me everything. They came back.”
“If you had not been here all of them would have died! I put on that face that night, so you could know! I hate it! I hate being the Clan Leader! All I can do is make mistakes!”
“Then quit,” I said.
She looked up her tears gone, “What?”
“Give up then," I said with a shrug.
“But I can’t! I’m the only one who could do this for all of them! They need me!”
I smiled, and she stopped, getting my point.
“Oh,” she said.
“Yeah. You see, not only do they need you, you need them.”
She nodded.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Then come on you have a meeting to start.” I said jumping out of the tree.
She followed and we went into the meeting room. Everyone was already there.
“Tonight I give you your next mission. The new emperor is being crowned in four days, Prince Ryuuko will be the next emperor and he will either start another fight in the war against the other Empire or he will end it. Since we don’t know it will be our job to kill him. We can’t have the risk of him adding more to the war. Too many people have died meaninglessly and we name to stop it before everyone die. Ash will lead the mission and kill him. We need him dead!” she slammed her fist on the table.
Everyone looked to me a nodded. Some smiled and others just stared.
Ryuu! I heard his ideas of how to improve the country and help it people! What am I to do?!
I nodded. I would have to find away to start the war and save Ryuu. He doesn’t deserve to die.
I touched the silver chain around my neck and the ring under my shirt. I was never able to give it to Kail.
“When do we leave?” I asked.
“Whenever you think is right.” Miu said.
I gripped the necklace. “We leave tonight.”
Everyone said, “Yes Leader!” and then when to get things ready.
As I tied the last black cloth around my head, we set out.
It took us three days of running to get to the camp where the army was waiting. We only had one day till the army was to move. Beyond the river the separated the two armies I saw just how bit the other one was. It was about the same size. Everything had to go the right way or everything would be lost.
“Shit,” I hissed. I turned to the other ninjas. “All of you are to go to the place I told you about and stay there till I call out to you, understand?”
They all nodded, and I slipped out of the trees and forest to run swiftly and silently into the camp. It was already night as the fires burned to light the camp. I hid in the shadows till I found the largest tent.
Two guards walked past the tent and I hide behind a poll. When they passed I slipped into the tent. In the far back of the tent, a form slept under covers on a futon. I walked silently over to the form and took out one of my vials. I held the tip of my knife o the neck of the person. I moved his knife out of reach.
“Hello Prince,” I said.
The person jumped and wide eyes stare at me. I could tell Ryuu reached for where his knife had been. He looked ready to yell for guards.
“You best no do that Ryuu, Take a chill pill,” I said and put the knife down pulling off the cloth that covered my face. He stared at me as if he had since a ghost. He crossed himself and got on his knees praying to a god and his ancestors.
“Ryuu I’ve come to talk to you,” I said sitting in front of him.
He looked up with wide eyes.
“If you have come for my soul I ask that you grant me one last wish,” he said in a strangled voice.
Oh great! He thought I’m the god of death or something!
“Stop being stupid you nit wit. This is important. Ninjas have come to kill you to and to end the war, but I know that this won’t end it.” I said.
He shook his head. “Please ghost of Ash and Guider of Death please do not do this,” he wasn’t begging, he was just asking.
Fine I see he won’t give up on the death thing so I’m going to have to use this to my advantage.
“I have not come for you, but to save you from death. A deal that will give us both what we want.” I said.
“Anything, Oh Guider of Death,” he said bowing.
“This war needs to end peacefully. I need you to do everything in your power to do this. I will help as well. In return you live, agreed?”
He nodded. “Agreed.”
“Good. To start this put this in your drink in the morning and everything will happen as needed. It’s Magic,” I said as I gave him the vial. He took it in a shaking hand.
“If you do not do what we have agreed I will give you a fate worse than dying. You will burn forever.”
I slipped out of his tent and ran in the shadows of the camp. There had to be more than three thousand men.
I ran across field to the river and dived in. I swam with the current and got out on the other side. I found the biggest tent and went inside. I did the same thing I had done to Ryuu and when I left he was pale and shaking, glad to be alive. They would both follow their word.
I looked over the forest in the darkness of the night and saw the shapes of the ninjas in the trees and bamboo.
Good. Before they know it, it will be too late and it would all be over.

At the crake of dawn orders were given on both sides and two parties were sent out with messages to each side.
Dark hissing, angry clouds filled the sky threatening rain and lighting. I looked to the sky and realized that something was going to go very wrong.
The parties crossed the river to the opposite side and contained out to the other side. The twenty men of each side expecting to be cut down at any moment.
My face was set grimly as I watched to see if the plans I had made would work. But each side lined up in ranks and the call from their generals came and they ran to the attack. My hands clenched as I gritted me teeth. The war was still on.
I whistled. They were beside me in minutes.
“Ok then plan failed, now each of you is to stay low to the ground and get in the fight. Your targets are the leaders of each side. If we take them they have nothing. But keep them alive and hide them somewhere till I say so. We will need them. I’m going for the throats of the generals and the emperors. NOW MOVE OUT!” they left in a blur and kept to the ground, mixing in with the fight and going unnoticed.
The cries of thousands of men filled the air and I knew this was a real war.
Man fought with swords, cutting down their brothers, or being cut down by their brothers. Blood already flowed on the ground and bodies cooled in the rain.
I left and first when form a general of the other army. I dodged around people and under horses. I kept my eyes on the man on the gray stallion and who was cutting down men at his feet like they were snakes. I was only a few feet away from him and I sprang. I caught him around the neck and pulled him with me to the ground. I took out a knife and smiled in his face. He fought me off, but I kept coming. His sword ringed against my knife. I tripped in a hole and landed on my back looking up at him. . His foot caught a rut in the ground and he when down fell down. He fell on my knife and me. It went through his heart. I pushed his nasty body off me and smiled.
This is a war and war means death. I’m already dead and soon a can be with Kail.
“I’ll be with you soon,” I whispered and went back into the fight. I found Ryuu’s general fighting off men with his back to me.
This will be easy.
Everything around me was happening so fast, but to my eyes it all seemed to slow down. Like looking at a paused movie. Men yell battle cries to the air and raged forward. Horse fell and men cursed. Blood washed the land and turned it red.
I followed behind the general as he fought towards the center of the battle. Ten men against him. I slipped up behind him and then he turned and I smiled. But someone behind someone pushed and my knife missed, stabbing the man in his shoulder. But the man fell anyway and I saw his face.
“No,” whispered.
I dropped to my knees beside the general, staring in horror at the man and screamed.
The scream sounded as if it came from the every depths of Hell itself, and roared with the bloodcurdling cry of thunder, and the crashing of lighting over my every head.
In that moment everything stopped. No one fought; no one took a step, not even the pouring rain made a sound. I stood slowly covered in blood and my long hair dripping in the rain. I stared at them all, raging.
I bared my teeth in a snarled and lifted my head to scream with the thunder once more. Everyone was now looking at the center of the field, the center of the battle, at me. Men drew back from me and made a wide circle around Kail and me.
Kail…
“Bring me the Emperors!” I screamed at them. It was the scream of a demon. By side mixed together in fear and some started to run to the tents of the emperors.
I sank down to my knees in the mud and left Kail’s body into my arms.
“Ash?” he asked touching my face. “You’re here. I thought I would see you again when I died. You are beautiful, and you have come for me. I love you, my little one. I never stopped and now we can be together forever.”
I shook my head unable to speak. My tears fell like the rain.
He pulled me closer and our lips met. “You taste sweeter then my dreams.”
I buried my face in his neck and let the rain wash us in its tears.
“We here! You’re here! Kail!” I sobbed.
I looked up and his smiled at me. “Yes I’m here. I love you…” his eyes slowly closed and his hand slipped from my cheek. A small stream of blood trickling from the corner of his mouth.
I kissed his lips one more time, and laid him softly on the ground and I sent up a small pray for him. I covered him with my cloak and stood, once again screaming my anguish into the sky. The rain poured even hard over everyone and everything. I didn’t care. Not anymore.
The two Emperors Ryuu and Jin Tang stood at the edge of the circle. I pointed at them.
“Come,” I snarled.
They did and they saw the wild look in my eyes.
I grabbed each one by the caller of their kimonos and lifted them off the ground.
“Look at what you have done! All those people dead. ARE YOU HAPPY?” I shook them in the air. “This is what you will do,” I put them on the ground on put my face inches from theirs’, “You are going to form one Empire. Ryuu shall be the emperor and this war will end here! I’m have been tortured and nearly killed so many times, and the last thing I had ever held dear is gone! I am past insane and beyond any reason, you will do what I say!”
Their wide fear stricken eyes looked at me. They were so scared they couldn’t even nod.
I dropped them and glared. They scrambled to their feet.
“Swear right here that you will do as I said!”
“We swear,” they said together.
“Good,” now call off both side and head to the palace closest to here.”
And so it was done. The men packed up. Buried the dead and I sat in the mud Kail’s body in my arms. I had no tears to cry, but I knew that now I was truly hollow and empty. The ninjas came to me slowly and just stood there. None said a word. Then one touched my shoulder. Little Rin.
“Big sister, “he said quietly, “They are leaving.”
I nodded, but didn’t move.
“Arrow?”
“Yes, Leader?”
“Carry Kail for me. Be careful with him. I want him to forever sleep in peace.” I said. My voice was as dead as I was inside.
He took Kail from my arms and I stood only to fall into the muck at me feet. Hands tried to help me up, b but I snarled, “Leave me be.”
I dragged myself out of the mud and started to walk. Then I started to run. They followed close behind. All thirteen of them.
We reached the Imperial City wit out stopping in five days. No one came near me and I didn’t eat nor drink. I moved with everyone else. I was tried. Not in just body, but in spirit, hope, heart, and mind. I was all out. Empty. Running purely on my own life energy.
The camps were quiet. Men sat around the fires and looked stared blankly at everything. They did what they were told without question. The spirit of the camp seemed fearful, and depressed. I sat by where my fire had long burned out looked at the black sky. The clouds had followed us and it covered the sky so I could even see the stars. It was the night before we would reach the Imperial City and everything seem rushed.
I rose with the sun and had the camp pack for the city. They did and it was a long march to the city. The men dragged their feet and bared the weight of so many things. They carried the injured, and the tents, and everything they could take from the battlefield. The sun was high in the sky, but shadowed by the clouds and storm that still followed us. The last of the hills came and the palace rose out over the city within its tall stonewalls. The palace had been rebuild and now stood grander then the last. The bright reds and golds flashed in the sun, like fireworks.
I entered through the big doors and walked along the extensive and over adorned main hallway to the meeting rooms. The emperors followed quietly behind. They were sat in the meeting hall, looking grim and shaking as if they were to be executed. I sat across the table and slowly wrote out a contract trying to remember what I wrote done. When I was done I dipping in the ink and handed them the quill I had be using. Without saying a word each one signed. The once emperor was given a title as a lord and rules of what he was to do he gets back home. He silently bowed his head and got up and left the palace. What was left of his troops follow him on the long journey. I stared after he and then to Ryuu.
I looked to the new Emperor of the new Empire of Japan.
“You will do the right thing, I know you will.” I said and with that I left.
I collapsed outside on the steps holding on to the door and Arrow picked up me. I glared at him with hazy feverish eyes. He walked slowly down the main steps of the palace entrance, careful not to move me in his arms too much. When we got to the bottom of the stairs he sat me down at the bottom platform.
“You will do as you promised. You will kill me so I can repay for everything I’ve done,” I stood on shaky legs. “You will kill me so I can be with Kail,” I ordered him. I swayed and he moved to steady my, but I held up and hand in command.
He looked at me with grim determined eyes and slipped his sword from its cover. He raised his sword and everything went black for good.


Chapter 15
What happens next


Everything around me was black and I realized that I no longer had people around me. It was much like my life before I had drowned in the pond and found myself saved by Kail, nearly a thousand years in the past. I guess that Arrow really had killed me. I don’t feel any pain.
I don’t know why, but I thought death would end the pain in my heart. I guess my pain was so deep even death couldn’t stop it. Everything was black, but the blackness around me wasn’t cold. It was warm. Death is peaceful, but the soul isn’t, I guess.
So what will happen now? Where do I go? What do I do? What happened to Kail? Would I see him where I’m going? I guess I might be stuck here forever. It’s not so bad, but if only the pain would stop.
I pressed my hand over my heart, but I didn’t feel anything.
“I guess this is part of being dead,” I said. And my voice echoed in the darkness.
But it’s not what I thought it would be like. I need Kail. I needed to be with Kail!
“Kail!” I screamed. I looked around but it was still only the darkness.
I continue to screams and it felt like someone was shaking me, but I didn’t see anyone.
“Ash! Ash it’s all right! Calm down!” it was Kail’s voice and I looked around but I couldn’t see him. I fought with the force that was holding down, but it was too powerful. So instead I reached out in the darkness to touch what wasn’t there and my hand felt warm skin. I stopped all my movement and just to see my hands to see what it was that my hands touched.
It was a face, and I face I knew very well for when I was blind I spent hours going over to memorize it again. It was Kail’s face, but he wasn’t smiling and his cheeks were wet as if he had been crying.
“So you are here,” I said, “I can’t see you in this darkness, but you are here. I thought I was alone again. Before you go anywhere I want you to know that I love you more than my own life.”

“Yes I am here, but to see me all you have to do is open your eyes,” he said. He bent down and I felt his forehead press against mine.
“I don’t want to. If I do you might leave again. I would rather stay like this. I happy with just feeling you again. Death isn’t so bad.”
“You're not dead, my sweet Ash. Nor am I. I was simply entered a state of shock and my body shut down. That’s all. You weren’t killed.”
“Yes I was I remember Arrow raising his sword and everything went black. Then I was here,” I insisted.
He shook his head. “Just open your eyes and I’ll show you. You once promised to forever be with me.”
The promise…
I forced my eyes to open. It was hard, like they wanted to only see the darkness forever. But they opened and I looked into those silver eyes that I had fallen in love with. I watched him to see what he would do, but he just looked it to me eyes, he forehead still pressed to mine.
As a test I leaned up a bit and kissed him on the mouth. I felt him respond and I knew he was really here, but this could be a dream still.
“You’re here, but I think I’m dreaming still. Perhaps I’m not really dead after all,” I said looking into his eyes again.
He had that look on his face again. That somber worried look, that hid just how panicked he really had been. He must have been pull-out-your-hair-crazy.
I wrinkled my brow and stared at him with sorrow filled eyes.
“I’m truly sorry for everything. I was even the reason you died. You must hate me now,” I said in a whisper.
“Not at all,” he said and then kissed me, “You did everything right. I thought I had lost you again. Next time you will be by my side and I won’t let you do anything. You attract too much trouble.” He hugged me.
“I think it was the trouble that killed me. What a dream this must be.”
“This isn’t a dream. The war happened and I was told you fainted when you where with Arrow,” his voice was so convincing I believed him.
I closed my eyes.
I felt his breath on my face as he asked, “What would you like to do now that everything is over?”
I opened my eyes and kissed him. “I want to go home.”


When I woke the next day I tried to stand up and walk around. Everyone seemed to have gone to the same place because I didn’t see a soul.
The long pathways of the palace were laid out like the old palace but they were larger and higher. The walls were either marble or wood walls painted the colors of gold, red or other bright royal colors. It seemed that Ryuu would be well off when he ruled over Japan.
I went from room to room opening doors and seeing if anyone was in them. I had finished the whole west wing looking into tea rooms, meeting rooms, bedrooms, and any other kind of room one could think of when I heard the sound of someone yelling, but I couldn’t make out if it was a man or a woman. I walked towards the way the sound had come only to be lost in a maze of high-ceilinged hallways.
I was tried and now I had a head ache. It got worse as I walked down a darkened hallway.
I slid down the nearest wall and let my eyes drift shut.
“I take a short nap…yeah…just a short nap…” I murmured and then slipped into sleep.

I woke to someone carrying my in their arms. I swayed back and forth and the person that held me was humming a lullaby, and I realized it was the lullaby I could never remember.
I started to hum the same part that the person carrying my hummed. They stopped walking suddenly and looked down at me. I looked up and smiled at Kail.
“I see you’re awake,’ he said.
“Yeah,” I answered back.
“We’ve been looking for you and you turn up in the hallway of the servant quarters. What were you doing?”
“I was looking for someone to talk to. I guess I fell asleep. I had a head ache.” I said closing my eyes. He started to walk again.
Soon we were back in the room I had been and he sat me down on the futon.
“I’m going to tell them I found you, so stay here, I’ll be back.”
He left and t I laid there on the bed and thought back to everything that had happened to me while I was here. He was back soon and with him was Momo, Sen, Ryuu and the ninjas. I looked at the all with wide surprised eyes. They all came in quietly and stood before me. Momo came to sit next to me and so did Kail. Sen took his place next to Momo.
One by one the ninjas knelt in front of me and vowed that they would be by side if I ever had need of them.
We talked over what we would now do in order to make sure every went right for the new empire.
“There will be a lot of work to do, but we will find a way,” Jnii said.
Everyone agreed and then there was a knocking on the door.
It was a servant come from the Emperor to escort me to him.
I went. I followed the man down long hallways to come to a wide open room in the front part of the palace that was the Emperor’s meeting room. Ryuu sat facing away from the doors and looking outside from the balcony. A pair of red wings bird dance in the sky.
The man bowed and closed the doors behind me.
I walked over to Ryuu and place a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to me. His face seemed the same, but it wasn’t. It had the weight of worry cast over it.
“I’m glad to see that you live though you did give me a scare,” Ryuu said with a sad smile. “If you look beyond out over the Balcony you will be able to see the kingdom go on as far as the eye can see. What was once two are now one. And now I am the one who will over look it all. A job that is for a man with more strength then me.”
“You're wrong,” I said looking out the vast city and mountains beyond to where the sea shined in the distance. “You are the one this Empire needs. I have heard your ideas to make life better. You have more power than you think. You will become great one day.”
“Will you be here to help me if I need guidance?” he asked in a small voice.
I looked down and smiled. “Of course. I will never be going back to my life before and my life is here now. If you should ever need me, just send a message.”
“Why must everything end this way? A war? The death of my father? Why must everything happen now? What was the purpose of it all?” he said looking out to the sky.
“Everything is important though you may not know it. It was time that things changed. It was for the better and finally the two empires that have been apart for a few hundred years is finally back together. These people need someone with strength that can lead them into a bright future. They need hope and that’s you.” I said looking down at him.
He sighed heavily, as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and in a way he did.
We talked for a while and finally he asked. “What is the next move I am to make?”
“Your people need your help. You should think over what they need,” I said standing.
And I left him pondering on that.
I sat with my back against the wall and stared as the stars started to come out. Wishing I knew what came next. But the star winked and promised luck, and for that I knew some how everything would turn out okay.


So Kail and I stayed for awhile and helped the new Emperor get on his feet and though him the things he would need to know. His Kail taught Ryuu everything he would need to know about the government and I taught him about managing money affairs and teaching him how to use a sword.
“Pick up your sword and trust then block!” I yelled at him for the twentieth time.
“It's not that easy,” Ryuu sound panting.
“You swing your sword like a girl!” I yelled at him.
“But you are a girl!” he said aghast.
“Well you a better girl then I am, so that must make me the man here.” I said yawning.
That did it. He pulled his sword out of the ground and ran at me, sword tilted a bit to the side.
“Finally,” I said and pick up my sword.
In the few weeks I’ve been teaching him he’s done very well, but he has years to go. He came at me fast, but for me he was still slow. I blocked easily and stepped aside. He came at me again and again, but he became slower. As he swung one last time and fell to his knees in the mud I smiled.
“Your Highness you are coming along well. But as sad as this is I must leave soon. There are things I must take care of. But shall you ever need me and Kail just call us,” I said ending down to pick him up.
“Thanks for the help,” he laughed weakly. “I will truly miss you. So will my sisters.” that made me grin. Even though they now know I’m a girl they still act like swooning maidens.
“Yeah. I’ll miss them too, but remember to work on your fighting skills.”
“Yeah, yeah. I hope you won’t stay away to long, we would love to see you at court,” Ryuu said with a smile.
I grinned back, and then saw Kail. He stood at the gate to the garden where we were training. I looked at Ryuu, he waved me on. “Go ahead.”
I slipped out from under his arm and ran to Kail Flinging myself at him. He caught me in his arms and left me off the ground where he could kiss me full on the lips. We stayed there till Ryuu cleared his throat.
I slipped to the ground and looked over to Ryuu he smiled when he saw my blush.
“It is nothing to be ashamed of, but maybe next time you don’t forget the others around you. Young love is something rare and special.”
I smiled at him. “I learned that the hard way. Well I have to go pack,” I said turning back towards the palace leaving them alone together.


*~*~*~*~*

“She sure is a real piece of work isn’t she,” Ryuu asked Kail.
“Yeah, but I like her that way. She has spirit. I think though it may be best if I lock her up for while. Just to spear the poor people from having another heart attack over her. By know half the country knows about her and what’s she done. But you have to admit she wonderful,” Kail said gazing after her.
“I would agree. So will you be coming back soon?”
“Well my friend I believe so, but onto soon. I have plans.” Kail said with a grin now looking at Ryuu. “And you your Royal Highness need to find a bride soon too.”
Ryuu turned red and quickly put her blade away.
“What to say?” Kail asked. “I know you aren’t like your father but still…” Kail trailed off at the mortified look on Ryuu’s face.
“I thank you very much and Lady Ashlynn too. Please come back soon. I’ll have the Court up and running in a few months so maybe she would enjoy coming with Lady Momoko. I cannot say I’m sorry that her father died though. We are all better off without the moron,” Ryuu said. “Oh and I would like it very much if both of you could make it to Yume’s wedding.” and with that he left red faced.
“He’s going to have to find out someday,” I said popping up behind Kail.
He jumped and then righted himself.
“Where did you come from?” he asked startle.
“The back gate. I came to tell you everything is ready.”
“Are you ready to go home," he asked, picking me up in his arms.
“Yes,” I said with a giggle.
He kissed me full on the lips.
“Ready to get married?”
Another kiss that made me feel as if I would melt.
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Good. Then let’s go collect Sen and Momoko and go home. We have awhile before we start work and the Court starts again.” he said giving me another kiss and setting me down.
“Then let’s make good use of it.” I said rubbing my hands together.
“Why do I have a feeling that you have a plan and its going to give me a heart attack?” Kail asked as we went inside, but I didn’t hear him because I was too busy planning.
After that we left to go home. It was a long ride but I didn’t care as I rode with Kail. I was cradled against his back and he had one long arm wrapped protectively around me.
I looked back at his face. It was set in a serious look. I quickly kissed his lips and sat back down.
“What’s with that face?” I asked.
He looked down at me and smiled gently.
“I was thing about our future. What’s going to happen now? The war is over now. What are you going to do?”
I made a face up at him.
“Are you say you don’t want to stay with me? After all we went through? Do you want me to have nowhere to go?”
He shook his head and tightened his arm around me.
“Never. Never again am I letting go of you.” he whispered roughly.
“Good,” I said snuggling up against him. “So what are you going to do with me? Am I your mistress now?”
He made a choking sound and I saw he looked horrified.
“Gods no! Your are much more then that,” he said seriously, looking straight in my eyes.
I frowned slightly.
“But I have to be. With what we’re doing I am, because we aren’t married. And I know you can’t marry a foreigner. No one will look down on your for having a courtesan, even if she is a princess. And no one will look down on me, because of who I am. Plus now that we are part of Ryuu’s court now that he’s king, I can stop pretending to be a man. So it wouldn’t matter if we were together in public now.”
He glared down at me.
Oh crap, I thought, he’s mad at me.
“You will not be a courtesan,” he said angrily.
“Do you plan on pushing me aside then?”
“No. I have a plan, but for now you are you and don’t give yourself any of those disgraceful names.”
I sighed and nodded.
“Lets go home,” he said.
And so we went home. Happily, for now anyway. 


Ashlynn…is a girl who has no family left, but is left with an ancient family castle. At sixteen she has been kept away from most things in the world. She finds herself entranced by a diary wrapped in red ribbon, and is led back through time to ancient Japan, where her world takes a 360 and her adventures run wild.


What will happen next?


A story of love, lost, adventure, mystery, and history.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 05.02.2011

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