It's been about Five months since I said goodbye to Jewls and time has no where eased my pain. I sat on the front steps, my head in my hands. Cookie was beside me Ears up, waiting for Lexi. Lexi's car pulled up and she jumped out. Cookie ran down the lawn and Jumped on her.
"Cookie Look at you!" She said, picking her up.
"Ronan!" She waved.
I got Up stiffly, and walked to her hands in pockets. I hugged her. We put my things in the car.
"Where's They parents?"
"At work."
"They didn't come to say goodbye to you?"
"We don't really get along." I said, getting into the car.
I had my hair put in a high pony tail. I wore my Riot T-shirt, and some black shorts, pared with my converse. Lexi turned up the radio and began to sing.
"Come on." She said, elbowing me.
I put my head on the window. Lexi sighed, and pulled away from the curb. The ride was long, and quiet. Alaska was different from the last time I'd seen it. It was beautiful. My room was the way I left it. There was a red shirt on the desk chair I left behind. I kicked off my shoes and turned on the T.v.
"Herman's at the back door." Lexi called.
"Hi Herman." i muttered, sliding down in my seat.
Cookie jumped up next to my and rolled over. I rubbed her stomach and changed the channels. Lexi sat down on the love seat.
"I can't stand to see you like this. Let's do something."
"Like what?" I muttered, still changing the channels.
"Why don't we go down to the studio, and you can take a look at the clothes. There's a fashion show day after tomorrow, and I'd really like your opinion."
"Really?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"Okay." i said, shutting the T.v. off.
I put on my shoes, hooked Cookie to a leash, and we where off.
"Why don't we get some burgers first?" She asked.
"I could go for one." I nodded.
We parked and ate, I told her about school, and my singing. Once we were done we took off to the studio. Lexi pushed the door open and Tip toed in.
"Lexi are we supposed to be in here."
"Not really."
We looked at each other and laughed. We snuck down the hall way and into a room that said, Lexi Davis on it. The clothes were awesome.
"Hope you don't mind, you and- were my inspiration."
"They're cool."
"Good. Cause after the runway you get to wear them around town, so I can get a good grade."
"Okay. You don't gotta tell me twice." I said.
She laughed. We locked up and went back home. Alaska was a lot greener from where I'm from. Herman was pacing at the door. When he saw me he began to dance. I smiled, sadly, and tossed him a hot dog. I took a shower and got into bed. The next morning Lexi was gone at work so I had to pull myself out of bed to answer the door.
"Hannah." I said, eyebrows pulled together.
"It took me forever to track you down." She said, pushing her way into the house.
"Uh, what are you doing here?"
"Well your here for two weeks you gonna mope?" She asked, Pulled a bag of chips out of her back pack. She took out dip, and to fruit punch teas. "I brought the hunger games." She said
I took the movie from her and Put it on. Truth was The hunger games was a favorite of mine. we sat down, adn popped open our cans. We laughed. We finished off the movie, and watched a couple more. We talked, painted our nails and did make overs. Hannah stayed for dinner and then she went home.
"You see happier."
"Hannah remind me of her." i said.
"Yeah me too." She nodded.
"I'm gonna take a bath." I said leaving.
Cookie jumped off the couch and ran after me.
"Trader!" Lexi called down the hall.
I smiled, and pushed into my room. I took a hot bath and went to bed. the next day I was able to sleep in. By noon Hannah picked me up for lunch with her friends. We pulled up to a little cafe. There where three girls that looked up at us. One had purple hair the other blue, the other green.
"Girls, this is Ronan. She's staying for spring break."
"I'm Mallery." the girl with blue hair said, scooting over.
I sat down and Hannah sat next to the girl with Green hair.
"I'm Dani." She said.
"Jenna." The last girl nodded.
We ordered a pizza and they began to talk. I sat quietly sipping my soda.
"Why you so quiet?"
"I'm dealing with a death right now." I told Dani.
They all nodded. I smiled, and the guy, God bless him, brought the pizza over. We went to the park and sat in the grass. They were all pretty funny. It was easy to warm up to them, that's why I had to keep my distance. A bug flew by.
"Fuck that!" Jenna said, standing shaking her hair.
"Is it on me?" She asked me.
"your okay Jenna."
"Are you sure?" She asked.
"There it is!" Dani said.
"Where?"
"Right there!" Hannah said.
Mallery reached over and tickled Jenna.
"You guys suck!" Jenna laughed, plopping down next to me.
Hannah looked at me, and smiled a little.
"Ronan has a dog. it's black a white."
"You have a doggy!" Mallery smiled.
"Can we see it?" Jenna asked.
"What's it's name?" Dani asked.
"Her name is Cookie."
"Hey I have twilight in my car. want to have a marathon?" Jenna asked.
"You guys can spend the night." i said.
I knew i was supposed to be keeping my distance, but I was tired of being alone.
"To the car!" Dani said, pulling me too my feet.
They got Pj's and we all sat down in the living room. There was snacks all over the table, and we all hand blankets.
"Ronan?" Lexi called, from the door.
"Lexi! your just in time for the twilight marathon." Hannah called.
Lexi walked in.
"Mallery, Jenna, and Dani. My sister Lexi."
Lexi changed into Pj's and we started the movie. Once the last movie was over we ordered food, and ate. We all talked about Lexi's show tomorrow. Lexi invited everyone, and of course everyone was stoked. we all went to bed. We had to go the the show early to set up.
~*~
"Your models are sick." A guy called.
"Mine?" Lexi asked.
"Yeah." He said.
"Thanks." she waved. she turned to us. "What am I gonna do?"
"I'm in." I said.
"Me too." Hannah said.
"Could be fun." Mallery said.
"I'll try." Jenna said.
"I may fall, But, I'm in." Dani said, making us all laugh.
Lexi gave us all make overs and we got into the clothes.
"Let's move." A guy said.
Lexi sped walked to stairs. I grabbed her hand. She looked down and Smiled at me.
"Good luck big sister." I said.
"You'll do great baby sister."
I nodded.
"First up Lexi Davis's line. Her models are Ronan, Dani, Hannah, Mallery, and Jenna."
Music played. I held my head high and walked out. I was going to make Lexi proud. Everyone took pictures. I nodded as I passed Dani on the way back. Once our run was done, we all met back at Lexi's kit.
"High five. You all did awesome." Lexi said, handing out high fives. "The outfits your wearing now, you get to keep cause you helped me. Now let's get the hell got of here and get some pizza and soda."
"Whooo!" we all said, following Lexi.
Once at home I watched rain fall down the leaves of trees. Lexi's apartment has two floors. First, is the living room, kitchen and my room, her room is up stairs. the elevator leads to the under ground garage. I pushed open the door, and stood on the deck. I turned my head up, held out my arms, and let the rain soak me. I didn't really care if I would get sick. They say when it rains, It's cause your loved ones are proud of you. Yet again it is Alaska. The rain calmed to a drizzle. I sat down on the deck steps, and wrapped my arms around myself. I scanned the forest. It looked alive. These days I need alive. I stood up, and ran into the forest, without looking back. There was all kinds of flowers. It was like something out of a fairy tail. I smiled, and looked around.
"Jewls give me a sign your proud of me, and your still with me."
I didn't know where they came from, but they where there. Butterflies, blue, yellow, white purple, and different colored ones. They weaved around me, and I lifted my arms. The rain, stopped, and there was a soft warm breeze. I watched as they all flew above the trees and Disappeared.
"Thank you." I muttered, touching my necklace.
I ran back to the house.
"Where were you your soaked!" Lexi said.
"I was in the woods."
"In the woods-"
"Lexi. she's proud of me and she's still with me. She sent me butterlies, all kinds of colors." I beamed.
Lexi pulled me into a hug.
"Of course she's still with you. She loves you."
I hugged lexi back.
"Go take a shower, before, you freeze."
I was drying my hair when My phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Ronan. We're all going to the cafe tomorrow for lunch. You in?"
"Can you pick me up?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks Dani."
"Sure, no problem. What are you doing?"
"I just got out of the shower."
"I'm bored can I come over?"
"Sure."
"Be there In five."
The line went dead. By the time Dani came over, sun was filling up the room. I was sitting on my bed with my music book and Lap top.
"Whatcha doing?" She asked, plopping down, like Jewls used to do. It was getting a little easier to say her name.
"writing music."
"No way! I write to."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Can You show me what you got?"
"It's not much." I said, pushing the play button on my lap top.
"Did you come up with this beat?"
"Yeah."
"It's sick."
"Thanks."
I cleared my throat.
"I can't shed anymore tears, I gotta be brave, here's my chance to do Something great. With her within me I can get through this, I'll be a little broken, but I'll cope. Open your eyes, the sun is shining, everything will be all right, eventually. Take the time to remember the good, don't pay attention to the bad, just for a second act completely mad, Oh yeah, Hey Normal take that."
I pushed stop on the lap top.
"Oh wow. Your really good."
"Thanks." i laughed.
"Can you Play guitar?" She asked.
"Yeah." I said, looking to my guitar.
"Play me a song." She said, crossing her legs.
"Okay." I said, grabbing my Guitar.
I played Jewls.
"Did you write that?" She asked, voice low.
"Yeah." I nodded voice low too.
"It's beautiful, Ronan."
"I hope she likes it."
"She does."
"How do you know?"
"Because it came from you."
I nodded.
"Do you want a hug?"
"Yeah." i said, wiping my face.
Dani hugged me tightly. Some times a tight hug can really make you feel better for a second. As if someone really cares for you. Almost as if they're trying to hold you together.
"Sorry." I said, wiping my face.
"Don't be sorry. Don't ever be sorry for what you feel."
"Your really cool you know that Dani?"
"Well I try to be." She said, popping her collar, the tip of her green pony tail flying.
I laughed.
~*~
"There they are!" Mallery said.
"About time bitches!" Jenna waved at us.
We shook off the rain and took our usual booth.
"Sorry." I said, hugging Hannah.
"Traffic man." Dani said.
"Traffic in Alaska. That's a first." Hannah said, blowing her straw wrapper at Dani.
"Oh it's on!" Dani said, grabbing a straw.
She blew it, but it didn't work.
Jenna and Mallery laughed.
"It's like this." I said, blowing on mine, hitting Jeena right between the eyes.
"Nice!" Dani said, high fiving me.
"Hey, Vinny, the usual!" Hannah yelled.
The guy that served us last time nodded, and headed to the back.
They jumped into a conversation. I put in a few thoughts, and Laughed, when I felt like it. The pizza came and we dug in.
"Hey Did Lexi hear anything about the show?" Jenna asked.
"Nothing yet."
"She will though." Mallery said.
"Yeah, i tell her that. I think she's pretty upset though."
"Well why haven't the bastards called? Lexi's good." Dani said.
"Right!" Hannah said, tossing a hand to Dani.
Dani made a I know right? Face, and tossed her hand out too.
"They have like 300 to go over."
"Well they should of did her's first is all I'm saying." Jenna said, poking ice with her straw.
"She got the most cheers for her line. I think It was a nice touch that she had us, and not those boring-stick-up-your-ass Models." Hannah said.
I laughed.
"What?" Dani asked.
"My Moms A boring-stick-up-your-ass Model."
"Oh I'm sorry." Hannah said.
"It's okay, that stick is so wedged up there, I think she lost it fifteen years ago."
The girls tossed their heads back, and laughed.
"I'm for real."
"We know you are, that's why It's so funny." Mallery said.
I laughed along with them. We walked through the mall and then we all said goodbye. Dani stopped by her house to get clothes.
"Are you spending the night or moving in?" i asked, as she put a suit case in the back seat.
"Little bit of both." She said, shutting the door.
I smiled, and shook my head.
"Damn, you step out of the car for three seconds you damn drown." She said, staring the car, as I laughed.
We pulled up to the house.
"Hurry! I'm drowning!" I said, as Dani got her suitcase from the car.
"Oh I know right!"
She grabbed my hand and we ran to the door.
"Help We're drowning!" She called.
"In a puddled!" i added.
We laughed as we pushed into the living room.
"Why Is there a bear at your back door? Oh my God, if you tell me he's dancing I will shit my pants right here, and now, Ronan. What the fuck dude?"
"That's Herman the dancing bear. Do you want to feed him?"
"Yeah, chop off your arm."
"What?"
"Well I ain't feeding him mine!" She said.
"Feed Him a hot dog." I said.
Dani took the hot dog. I opened the back door.
Gah!" She called chucking the hot dog.
The hot dog bounced off of Herman's nose and Hit the floor. Herman ate it, and thundered back into the woods.
"That is the craziest thing I've ever seen." She said, still looking at the woods, where she saw Herman last.
"So I'm thinking hot dogs for dinner."
"Oh Ha Ha!" She said, tossing a place mat at me.
We both ended up laughing, doubled over. Maybe it was cause, Herman, the Hot dog, The place mat, or maybe it was cause I was going crazy, and it rubbed off on Dani. Dani woke me up in the middle of the night.
"What's that noise?"
"Herman." i said, rolling over.
"Well that fucking Herman Better knock it the fuck off!" She said, raising her voice at the last part, and throwing the covers over her head.
The scratching continued.
"That's it Herman's going down!" She said, getting up. "Even though he's bigger than me His ass Is going down hard, Whoa, that's not Herman." She said, opening the blinds.
"Not Herman?" i asked, sleepy, rolling out of bed. I walked over. "Not Herman." i nodded.
A moose with big antlers stared at us.
"Go away Mr. Moosey." She said, waving him away.
"Mr. Moosey?" i asked, cutting my eyes to her.
"You got a better plan?"
"Get your Moose ass off my lawn or I'll shoot it!"
The Moose turned and left.
"See?" I said, laying down.
We heard a big thump.
I tossed the covers of, "Mr. Moosey is going down!"
We looked out the window to see Mr. Moosey run full speed, and hit the wall with his antlers.
"See! You made Mr. Moosey mad!" She said, putting on her coat.
"Where the hell are you going?"
"So you can talk to Herman, but I can't talk to Mr. Moosey?"
I grabbed a coat and followed her out side.
"It's 2 in the morning and we're outside, looking for Fucking Mr, Moosey, in our P-fucking- J's." I said.
I had My arm slipped through Dani's as she shined the flash light.
"There he is. Mr. Moosey, will you please go home?" Dani asked.
Mr.Moosey turned to us with death in his eyes. He clawed at the floor.
"Oh fuck that!" I said, running away.
Dani was right behind me, and behind Her Mr. Moosey was closing in.
"Help! mad Moose Mad Moose!" I yelled, running to the house, and laughing.
There was a deep growl, that had Me, Dani, and Mr. Moosey stopping in our tracks. Herman burst through the trees and tackled Mr. Moosey to the floor.
"Oh shit!" I yelled, hand to my mouth.
"Go Herman!" Dani yelled, pumping the air with her fists.
"Go Herman! Get him with a right hook. Or paw." I called.
"Nice one Herman!" Dani called, as Herman hit Mr. Moosey with his claw.
Mr. Moosey came up taking no prisoners. He rammed Herman with his antlers. They circled each other, Herman growling, and Mr. Moosey, making Mr. Moosey noises.
"Alright Ten bucks on Herman." I said.
"Deal, Mr. Moosey has this, did you see the way He rammed Herman."
"Come on Herman!"
"Come on Mr. Moosey, I need that ten dollars!" She called, as they still walked in a circle.
Thunder boomed. Herman and Mr.Moosey ran for the woods.
"Mr. Moosey ran first So Herman wins. Pay up."
"No way! It wasn't a fair fight!"
We looked at each other and burst out laughing.
"We're fucking crazy!" She yelled, as I doubled over.
"Holy fucking shit!" I yelled, between laughs.
It Began to rain, so Like Mr. Moosey and Herman we ran for the Woods. Or house. You get it damn it.
~*~
"Did you girls hear that banging last night?" Lexi asked, in the morning.
"Nope." We said, too quickly looking at each other.
"Hey Lexi. Don't worry, you got too much Mad talent to not get a call back." Dani said.
"Thanks Dani." She smiled, pouring herself a cup of coffee.
We all vegged out. Hannah pushed the front door in.
"You asstards!" She said, Followed by Jenna and Mallery.
"Not cool guys." Jenna said sitting in between me and Dani.
We watched a movie. Once the movie was over Lexi left, and we went to my room. We told them about last night. They all laughed. We took a hike through the woods, went to the cafe and ate. They all went home. I sat on the couch, and Cookie jumped on my lap. Dani kind of moved in.
"I think we should Hunt Mr. Moosey down." She said.
"I think we should just pray Mr. Moosey runs all the way to Canada." I said, petting cookie.
"Oh come on that's boring."
"We already went for a hike."
"Well let's go again."
We went for another hike. We found a Small clearing with a river, and water fall.
"Look how pretty. Go stand over there. I'll take pictures from your music page."
"Let's go get my guitar though."
We got the guitar and took pictures. We made it back as it was getting dark. No sign of Mr. Moosey. Thank God. I think Dani was a little let down. I on the other hand could give two shits. We slept with out interruption that night. The next morning I woke up with a song on my mind.
"Ronan!" Dani said, tossing a pillow over her face.
"I got a song forming Dani."
"what's it called?"
"I think I'll call it Temporary high."
"Oooh I like that title." She said, sitting up.
"Good then you can record me singing some songs. I want you to sing this with me."
"Okay." She said, lying back down.
"It's done." I announced ten minuets later.
I set up the camera.
"hey little freaks. I'm back At my sisters. I didn't want to come back cause this is where she was. I have two new songs. The first ones called Hey Normal take that, and the second one is called Temporary high. My friend Dani's going to help me with that one. Here goes everything." I smiled.
I sang Hey Normal take that, and then Dani sat next to me.
"This is Dani. Isn't she pretty?"
Dani smiled, and gave a thumbs up.
"Alright. Temporary high. Here we go. Ready Dani?"
"Ready, Ronan."
I pushed play.
"You don't know just how beautiful you are. It's not your fault, no one ever told you so. One day you'll spread your wings and fly. You'll be just fine, when the time comes for you to shine, you'll know it, Oh yeah, You'll Fly away from here, and everyone will look at you as a Temporary high." I sang.
"You don't realize it, but I do. I can see just how wonderful you truly are. You have a power so bright, it blinds their eyes. You'll be just fine, when the time comes for you to shine, you'll know it, Oh yeah, You'll Fly away from here, and everyone will look at you as a Temporary high." Dani sang.
"Now is the time, to let yourself break through, they'll never know you unless you do. I believe in you so you should to. Your so Beautiful, You shine so bright, Your so wonderful, so why can't ya see it? You'll be just fine, when the time comes for you to shine, you'll know it, Oh yeah, You'll Fly away from here, and everyone will look at you as a Temporary high." We sang.
We listened to the music.
"Oh you don't know." she sang.
"Unless you try." I sang.
"Something so perfect shouldn't be kept hidden." I sang.
"Oh Baby can't you see, let your wings break free." Dani sang.
"Your so Beautiful, You shine so bright, Your so wonderful, so why can't ya see it? You'll be just fine, when the time comes for you to shine, you'll know it, Oh yeah, You'll Fly away from here, and everyone will look at you as a Temporary high." We sang.
We hugged.
"I think that was a good first performance."
"Me too." She said, hugging me.
"By Guys!" we waved.
"I'm talking to a camera." She laughed.
"Never through your life would come to this eh?" i asked, turning the camera off.
I uploaded the songs. She took a shower, and I watched at the views and the likes went up. I took a shower, and then we ate. She went home and to get more clothes. I set the camera up again.
"Hey guy, I'm back." I laughed. "I'm doing a cover of Taylor's firefly. I don't normally do covers But I feel this is her. Hold on let me get my guitar."
I sang the song.
"Once again I just wanted to say thanks for sticking with me, I love you guys, and you don't know how bright you shine do you? Life is short, hold onto the ones you love. Like me for example. I need you guys to help me get by." I said, looking down. "Bye." I waved.
I uploaded the video, and got a soda. As I came back in the computer beeped. I looked at the comments. All saying R.I.P Jewls. There was one that said can you do a answer video. I posted send in your questions. The next day I had the girls come over.
"Hey Little Freaks!" I said, blowing the camera a kiss. "There was a question asked, and some people said it was rude to ask the question. I'm going to answer it. The question was, How are you Dealing with saying goodbye to Jewls. First. I'll never say goodbye to Jewls. Healing is Shit, and taking forever. Next question is Who are your friends where your sister lives? Well since you want to know." I used my left hand and Pulled Hannah into frame. "This is Hannah, Jelws's sister." I pushed Hannah out of frame, and Used my Right hand to pull in Jenna. "This is Jenna, the girl with the rad Purple hair." I pushed her out and used my left hand To pull in Mallery. "This is Mallery. Doesn't she look like a cute Blueberry?" I pushed her out of frame, And pointed up. "You all know Dani." i said. Dani popped up from behind me. "Hi Guys!" She smiled, and waved. She Popped back down. "And of course." I held up a picture. "This is Jewls. Beautiful right? Okay, moving on." I said wiping my face. "I Have a Dog named Cookie, A bear Named Herman, and a Mad Moose, That Dani creatively Named Mr. Moosey."
"There out side." Jenna said.
"Time for a animal shot, Little freaks." I grabbed my camera and we all ran out side.
Herman began to dance.
"Holy fucking shit Herman can dance!" Jenna said.
"Holy hell!" Hannah said.
"Look at that!" Mallery said.
I filmed their reaction.
"Mr. Moosey. See the death in his eyes?" I asked, zooming in and getting just his eyes. "Ugh, look at that." I said.
Cookie barked at the door.
"And That's little Cookie." I turned the camera to Dani.
"Oh right." She laughed. "Hey guys, Dani here. Everything we're wearing right now was Made by Lexi. Ronan's sister."
I filmed the girls and gave the camera to Dani.
"Mad talent right? If you want to see these out in the world, leave some comments. Lexi is trying to win a contests. In two weeks Her school with pick the top five students, and put the clothes on the school website. It's up to you to vote on which looks you liked. Only Vote for Lexi if you like her clothes. the link with Be in the description box. Now I'm cold, so we're heading back inside."
I set the camera up in my room.
"I'm back!" I sang.
"Oh on run!" Dani said, in a British voice.
They rest of the girls fake screamed.
"Alright, back to the questions. I will be doing more songs. If you ask pretty please, Dani might appear in more. Like I said, I have no idea if I'll be doing a Cd."
"You should." Hannah said.
"Yeah, I should, but I don't got the money. I'm poor." i told the camera.
Truth was, I didn't think I was good enough to get a record deal.
I answered some more questions.
"Alright that's it guys. There was a request for a day out, so that should be coming soon." I waved, and the camera shut off.
We Went to the cafe. I turned the Camera.
"I'm Hannah I'm seventeen, And I like to make people laugh."
I turned the camera to Dani.
She burped. "I'm Dani, I'm seventeen, and I'm epicly awesome at giving out advice."
"I'm Jenna, I'm seventeen, and I have rad Purple hair. What else is there to say?"
"I'm Mallery, I'm Seventeen, and I'm camera shy."
I gave the Camera to Hannah.
"I'm Ronan, I'm Seventeen, and I'm confused."
Hannah gave me the camera back. I filmed us eating, at the park, and at my house, doing make overs.
"Oh Would You look at that Make over? Hannah Knows her stuff." I said, shoving the camera in Dani's face.
"Back it up." She muttered.
"How do you know?" I asked.
"I can feel you. It's like we're soul connected." Dani said, opening an eye.
"Shut up stupid." I laughed.
"Don't make her laugh." Hannah laughed, trying to Do Dani's mouth.
"Girls?"
"Lexi's back." I said.
"Interview time." I told her shoving the Camera into her face.
"My names Lexi Davis, I'm 22, and I'm a fashion student."
"Thanks." I said, going back into my room.
I uploaded the video. Hopefully that would hold them over. The girls went home, and Dani and I started on dinner while Lexi took a shower. We ate dinner, and then went to bed. The next morning Dani was still sleeping. I left the room and went to the kitchen. Lexi was sitting on the couch with a mug. I sat down next to her.
"Any talk from the school?" i asked, crossing my legs.
"None."
"There will be. you have too much mad talent."
"I hope so." She said, blowing out some air.
I reached over and hugged her. She sat her mug down, and hugged me back.
"My little baby sister." She rubbed my back. "How did you become so strong?" She asked, smoothing my hair.
"Jewls." I smiled.
Lexi bent and gave me a kiss on my head.
"She's a smart one."
"That she is."
"I hope she's doing okay in the after life you know?" I said, resting my head on her lap.
"She's okay. She's smart." She said, moving my grown out side bangs.
"Yeah." i nodded.
~*~
I Sat on the deck looking into the forest. I looked to my side, where I had my back pack. I Pulled it on, and headed into the woods, My new pocket knife clipped to my bra. I went to the water pool we found. I sat down on the soft grass, and rested my back against a rock. I pulled out my song book. I sat quietly looking around. I took a deep breath, opened to a new page and wrote. Seasons come and go, the leaves crunch under my feet, Petals of flowers crumble under my touch. It seems like once you left All beauty escaped with you. I'll try my best, to not give in, but I was so much more, with you next to me. You have left me no choice but to move on. It feels wrong moving on, when you never will. I grabbed my knife, when I heard a stick break.
"Oh hey, Herman." I said.
Herman layed down and closed his eyes.
"Like you've had a hard day. Thanks for keeping me safe from Mr. Moosey."
Herman sighed.
"Do you miss her? I sure do. Man I wish she was here."
I put my book aside, pulled up my legs, and held onto my necklace.
"I feel like I'm so lost, I don't know which way is up or down. do you get me Herman?"
Herman looked at me then closed his eyes.
"I'm talking to a bear." i said, tossing my head back onto the rock. "Oh too hard." I said, rubbing my head.
I blew out a deep breath.
"Life is so shit filled right now, and I wouldn't Lie to you Herman. Everyone's like, oh it will get better with time. No. They're fucking retarded, if they think it's gonna get better. People these days. I'm telling you Herman." I said, tossing him a hot dog.
He ate it and layed back down. I ate a bag of chips and drank a soda.
"And another thing, why Did she pick me? Doesn't everyone know I don't do good with heart ache? Are you listening Herman?" i asked, tossing him another Hot dog.
I brought all the hot dogs along in case I ran into Mr. Moosey. Hey, Herman liked them, maybe Mr. Moosey would too.
"I thought I'd find you here. Hey Herman." Dani said, sitting down next to me. "It's so nice here, It makes me feel..."
"Free?" I offered.
"Yeah, but also important."
"I never thought of it like that." I said, looking at the water fall.
"Can't you feel it?"
"Yeah. It has some kind of power here."
Dani nodded, and looked up, through the trees.
"are you ready to go home tomorrow?"
"Ugh, don't remind me."
"You'll be back. we can spend a whole summer together."
"A whole summer with you? Take me now!" I said, throwing my hands out.
"oh Shut up!" She laughed, pulling me in for a hug.
"We should go to the cafe, one last time." I said.
"I'll have the girls meet us."
We got up.
"Come on Herman." I said.
Herman got up and ran into the woods.
"He better not be leaving us to Fend off Mr. Moosey by our selves." She said.
I laughed and put my arm through hers.
After we ate, we ordered, the big round make it yourself sundae.
"Everyone take a scoop." Hannah said.
We all got a scoop.
"To Ronan. You will be missed. We don't know how to get past the months until we're together again." She said.
We clinked our spoons together and ate the bite.
"You know guys, I said I was going to keep My distance from you, but I'll miss you."
"Aw!" Jenna said, hugging me.
I smiled. I would miss them. Shit, what have I gotten myself into? We finished off the sundae, and went on one last shopping trip. I didn't really like shopping, but I did it for them.They Spent the night one last night. We all stayed up. Dani and I filmed one more song together. I have come to realize, maybe it's not life that sucks, But goodbye is the thing that sucks.
"Hugs!" Jenna said, Holding her arms out.
I hugged them all.
I hugged Dani last.
"Don't forget me."
"I'm coming back." I promised.
"I know. I just wanted to hear it." She laughed.
"See you girls In three months."
We all hugged and I got into the car. As Soon as Lexi pulled away from the curb, I turned in my seat, and waved. I continued to wave, and blow kisses until they disappeared around the corner.
"Shall we sing?" Lexi asked.
"Let's." i laughed.
Cookie yet again covered her eyes, and got ready for the car ride.
(continues in Unforgettable.)

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 12.10.2012

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Widmung:
Mr. Moosey turned to us with death in his eyes. He clawed the floor. "Oh fuck that!"