"You could of dressed a little better. Did you run a brush through your hair today?" My mother shot off.
It was Sunday morning. Every Sunday Mom has Tea with her Model friends. Today's bring your daughter, A.K.A future Model, to tea. It was way too early to deal with my Mothers constant criticism, yet some how I managed to answer her calmly, which surprised me.
"This is the only dress I have Mother."
She sighed, "What about the hair brush?"
"Yes, Mother. I ran a brush through my hair."
"When we're done here, we'll shop for a decent dress. I can't believe I'm taking you here, looking the way you do."
"Yes, Mother."
"Don't slouch!" She yelled, as if it where against the law.
She smacked my shoulder, and I sat up taller.
"I swear, it's as if you're a boy in a girls body. Not even you Father, has such poor manners."
"Yes, Mother."
"Are you getting an attitude with me?"
"Wouldn't dare Mother."
She cut her eyes to me, then turned her eyes back to the road.
First of all, it was the beginning of December, therefore it was to darn cold to wear a dress. Mother almost had a heart attack when she saw me pair the dress with leggings and boots. I had my hair up, and traded my beanie for a pink ribbon, that Mother lent me. I wasn't really looking forward to going to tea. Of course Mother wouldn't have it saying, 'No daughter of mine will not be going. Even if that daughter is you, Ronan.' I sighed quietly and looked out the window. Two kids where laughing, as they made a snowman, with their parents. I wonder what it'd be like to build a snowman. Mother always told me it wasn't lady like to play in the snow. Yet the woman was the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Even prettier than Mother herself, which is saying a lot. The trees where bare. The branches looked, odd with out leaves. They looked as if they where reaching out to you, wanting help. Of course you would have no idea how to help a tree. I sighed again wishing I had my Ipod.
"Stop sighing. You have no right to. Didn't your Father and I give you everything?"
"Yes Mother."
No, Mother. You never showed me love or attention, like all the other Mothers. Mother and Father always made sure I had clothes and food, cause they didn't want to get into trouble. My older sister got taken away, by CPS. I don't remember much about her. I remember her name was Lexi, and she had the kindest blue eyes I'd ever seen. She used to stand in front of me as Father came home from drinking, even after she new she'd get struck. She would stand tall, chin up, and slowly reach for me, behind her. I would quickly cling onto her hand. At Five years old, Lexi was the strongest person I knew. She was so brave. They didn't take me cause I was at My Grandmother's, and they didn't know I lived in the house. Grandmother died when I was 12. She showed me love. I like to think Lexi had a decent life, and she's making money, and living her dreams somewhere. I also like to think she's looking for me. Mother pulled up to yet another big house. If you don't have money, Mother and Father refuse to look your way. If you didn't have money, I'd cling to you for the normality, only no one ever notices me. I used to be fat, but I lost weight thinking that my parents would notice me, cause being skinny is important to them. Only some how I didn't only lose weight, I lost myself. It's as if when I finally lost weight, I ended up withering away. At least when i was fat they'd notice me long enough to talk about my weight, and tell me how fat and gross I was. I know normal parents don't say those things to their kids, but at least they were talking to me.
"Now, try not to talk, or do anything. Act like your Invisible." Mother said.
She put on her purse and got out. She shut the door, and walked up the walkway. I was good at being Invisible. It's all I've ever known. I waited until she was inside, and got out of the car. The woman whispering, and shooting hateful glances at me, had me smoothing my wrinkled dress, and hurrying inside. Girls had cups of tea, and laughed. I wondered for a second what it'd be like having a best friend. Someone you can tell everything to, and you couldn't stay mad at them, cause you would have to tell them things that where going on. They'd know you inside and out, and they'd love you for you. The girls stopped and looked over at me. they looked back at each other and laughed, as if they didn't have to say anything, cause they could read one another's faces. What's wrong with me? I'm a person aren't I? I hid in the car, until, everyone slowly started to leave.
"Why did you stay in the car?" Mother asked, getting in.
"I don't fit in here."
"It's a good thing you stayed in the car. No one knew you where my Daughter. thank God." She said, as if I hadn't spoke.
I was used to this. I rolled my eyes, and gazed out the window. A blue bird flew by. I wish I was a bird. Then, I'd never have to stay in one place. I watched the bird, fly over the car and disappear.
"Oh shoot!" Mother said hitting the steering wheel then cutting her eyes to me. "Why didn't you remind me about the mall?"
"I forgot."
"You forgot. see, this is what i get for having a stupid daughter ." she said, throwing a hand out.
She turned the car around and we got clothes.
"Now go put this dress on." She said. handing me the dress.
I took the dress and went into the bathroom. Truth be told, i hate the dress. It's white, and looks like a nigh dress. I shoved my other dress into the bag, and we put the bags in the car. Since we where already at the mall, Mother took me to the hair dresser. A man in black made his way too us.
"As you can see we have a big problem." Mother said, picking up a magazine.
The man looked at my pony tail tied with a ribbon.
"Well your hairs up, so is this problem gum?"
"No. it's her hair, all together. I want this cut for her." Mother said, showing him a magazine.
"are you okay with this?" the man asked me.
I opened my mouth.
"Mother knows best. get to cutting."
"This way." he said, leading me to the back.
I didn't see the hair style so I was completely at my Mothers mercy. I just hope for my sake she doesn't butcher me. I already have problems at school. I got a rinse and the cut.
"I love it." I said, running my hands through it.
"See? Mother knows best." She said, holding out her card.
She got her card back, and led me to the car by my hand. This is new, she never touches me.
"Honey look!" mother said, pulling me into Father's office. He circled me with his hand to his chin.
"Meet me in the Sun room. I'd like to take some pictures of you for work."
I hate the sun room. It was all white. Maybe it was the color white that i hate. It's seems so empty. I walked to the sun room. Mother closed the door, and I heard their hushed voices behind it. Their voices were to low to make out. I walked into the sun room and to the window. i pulled the curtain back and looked outside. A rabbit was hoping through the snow, making holes . I sighed and let the curtain fall. As I pulled my hand back i heard a click. My head snapped up to Father, who had his camera in front of his face.
"Look out the window again Ronan." He said.
I looked out the window, this time seeing a bird was following in the rabbit's wake.
~*~
When I got home from school Fathers office was open, and I could see the point of a black frame. I looked around and tip toed into his office. The black frame held a picture of me. The picture was smeared a little as if I where disappearing. Grate. Even in photos I'm invisible. I looked down at my hand to see i was holding my keys to tightly. I loosened my hand, and saw a key indented into my hand. I looked at the roof.
"Help me keep myself together."
I left Fathers study, and jogged up the stairs to my room. i shut my door, and tossed my bag on my bed. I plugged in my Ipod and turned up the music. I tossed aside my neon orange curtains and pushed the window open. the chilled air felt nice on my hot face. I painted a canvas black and with neon purple wrote LOVE? I stood back and admired my work. I picked up my small fan and dried it. Once it was dried I brought it to my walk in closet. I nailed it next to my painting that said Invisible. so far i think that one's my favorite.
"Ronan?"
I hurried from my closet to face Mother. she looked a little pale.
"It's for you." she said, holding out the phone.
I took the phone and she crossed her arms. When i knew she wasn't going to leave, i pressed the phone to my ear and turned down my music.
"Yeah?"
"Ronan?" A girl asked.
"What's up?"
"It's me. Lexi."
I looked at mother, who cocked her head.
"Do you remember me Ronan?"
"Yes."
"I was just talking with Mother. She said if it was okay with you, that I could come get you for a while."
"Can you give me some space Mother?" I asked, going into my closet. "When can you come get me?"
"Not until Christmas vacation."
"I can wait."
"Are you sure? I live far away from you, so you won't we able to go home. You'll have to stay the whole vacation."
"I'll be fine."
"Perfect." She said, sounding relieved. "How-how you doin'? you okay?"
"I'm doing okay."
"I know that means your doing pretty bad."
"No really, things have calmed down around here once you left." I didn't need her worrying about me.
"Really? Wow, what cooled off?"
I liked how she was talking to me as if we're close. I tried to mimic her tone. I leaned against the wall.
"Oh you know, Father quit drinking, Mother got her model carer going. I have nice clothes and stuff."
"Well that's good. You sure you want to visit me?"
"I'm sure." I said to quickly.
"I'm just kidding." She chuckled.
"Oh." i laughed with her.
"Well let me talk to Mother again so I can arrange your flight, and things."
I opened the door, and Mother flew back.
"Were you listening?" i demanded.
Mother rolled her eyes and took the phone.
"What?" she asked, closing the door. "No."
I grabbed my suit case from under the bed and turned up my music.
I wish some how I could say them now." i sang along as I made my way to the dresser. I opened a drawer and looked in. I shrugged, grabbed the whole thing, and then dumped it into my suitcase. I looked over my calender. I sighed, 16 days. I put the clothes bakc in the drawer and put it back. I sat on my bed and Looked at my empty suitcase. Mother pushed the door open. She opened her mouth and then saw the suitcase.
"You want to leave? Fine I'll teach you." She said.
She grabbed my arm and pulled me down the stairs, to the small door on the side of the stairs. She opened it. The door leads to a dungeon. the house was my great grandparents house. they had a vision for the future. Mother pushed me into a cell. The cement floor froze my feet. The walls where made of brick. Mother closed the cell door, and I grabbed onto the bars.
"We'll see if an hour down here will straighten you out." she said, tucking the key's into her pocket.
"You can't leave me down here! I'll freeze to death!"
"We should be so lucky."
"This isn't fair."
"Don't talk about fair with me."
The door echoed when it was slammed shut. I sat with my back to the wall and my knees to my chest.
"I knew you were trouble when you walked in, so shame on me now, flew me to places I'd never been, until you set me down. I knew you were trouble when you walked in, so shame on me now, flew me to places I'd never been, Now I'm lying on the hard cold ground. Oh Oh, trouble trouble trouble!" I sang as loud as i could.
Mother hated it when I sang she said it was a sign of freedom, and rebellion. So I sung my heart out.
I got up and grabbed the bars.
"Losing him was blue like i'd never known Missing him was grey dark and all alone, But loving him was red!" I paused and listened. "Then you come around again and say baby I wares I'm gonna change, remember how that lasted for a day. I say i hate you we break up you call me I love you!"
I smiled, as a classical record began to blare. I sighed and sat on the ground. I pulled one of the bricks out of the wall and took out my back up Ipod. I put the brick back, and blasted some music, and dance to keep warm.
~*~
"Now that role is done we'll jump right into your new project. I have decided to let this one be a group project, keep it four to a group."
Everyone looked at someone, and nodded.
"This project is going to be something that you use to express yourself. Let it be fashion, sports or art. You have one week, next week on Monday you will be presenting something in front of the whole class. Today we are going to be brain storming and picking your partners." Everyone began to move and the teacher raised her voice to be heard, "Remember class choose wisely. With is half your grade, and will substitute as final exams!"
I pulled out my note book and a pen. I tapped the pen to my mouth as I thought. I nodded my head and then smiled. I began to write the song I would perform for my grade. I wrote "Shame on who" at the top, and began to write. the teacher walked by me, and i touched her arm. She paused and smiled down at me. I waved her down, and she bent down.
"I was going to do music. Can I do that?"
"You'll have to perform a song in front of the class. Are you alright with that?"
"Yes. Thank you." I smiled.
She smiled back and patted my shoulder. She left to the next table.
As soon as I got home I tossed my bag on my bed and booted up my lap top, and pulled up my music program. While everything loaded I tossed my hair into a clip and grabbed my note book from my bag. I pulled out my leather desk chair and sat down. I opened my top drawer and put on my glasses. I messed around with a couple of beats until I found one I liked. I played the beat, and Sang the song.
"Yes!" i smiled, pushing save.
This was a really good song. It's worth an A, but that's my opinion. I practiced the song until I could sing it in my sleep. I went into my closet and pushed apart my party gowns. I grabbed my amp and my microphone, I plugged it in to make sure it all still worked. I recorded myself singing the song, and then put the amp and microphone back. I was thinking of away to get the amp to school, cause I walk, when My Father walked in, with a grin.
"Happy birthday Ronan."
"My birthday's not until Christmas Eve Dad."
"Do you want the car or not?" He asked, holding up keys.
"Yes." I grinned, taking the keys.
Father clapped and laughed.
"That's what I thought. Grab a coat so we can take her for a spin."
"Really?"
"Come on." He said, waving a hand and leaving my room.
I smiled, grabbed a jacket, and followed him down the stairs.
"Can I drive?"
"It's your car isn't it?" He asked holding the door open.
I ducked under his arm, and into the bitter afternoon. There was a red convertible.
"I thought you would look good in red. so want to take her out?"
"Yeah, I'm totally stoked right now."
"I thought you'd be." He smiled, opening my car door.
I don't know what happened to my Father, but I'd rather have this Dad then Father. I climbed in, and he jogged to the other side.
"What's first?"
I didn't want to ruin his good mood by telling him I already had my permit, so I played along.
"Mirrors and seat belt right?"
"Correct." he smiled, and nodded.
"Can we put the top down?" i asked, overly excited.
"Why not." He smiled back at me.
"Whooo! That's this button?"
"Yep that one right there."
I started the car, and pushed the button. I smiled, as the roof pulled back reviling the gray sky.
"Now you have to remember to look around before you pull out." He reminded me.
I smiled, and Looked around. I put the car in drive and pulled out. I drove down the street.
"Ease on the break Ronan. Perfect." He said. "Now we look. Can we go?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
"Go for it." He said, tossing a hand out.
We pulled up to the curb and got out.
"You did good Ronan." He said pulling me in for a hug.
Hug?! I hugged him back, and didn't want to let go. Mother pulled up and jumped out.
"Family!" She waved, hurrying over, and pulling me into a hug. "Do you like the car? Did you take her for a drive?"
"I did, she's ready for her licence." Dad said proudly.
"Oh Ronan!" Mother said, kissing my forehead and hugging me.
Alright. What ever the hell they're on, I totally want some.
"I got a rise, which means we're going to go out for dinner. Ronan, why don't you wear your black dress with the ruffles?" Mother said.
"You hate that dress mom."
"No I don't."
"That's what you said." I told her as she grabbed my hand and led me up the stone walk way.
"I don't remember. Come, I'll teach you how to do your hair and makeup."
New Mom not only taught me what she said she was going to teach me. She also taught me shoes and clothes, even sunglasses. Who would of thought someone actually pays 300 dollar for sunglasses when you can pay ten.
~*~
"Table for three." Mom said, to the host. "Doesn't my daughter look nice?"
"You have a beautiful daughter Miss." He said, winking at me.
I offered a shy smile, and we followed the guy to a table. We ate and Mom told us how she got a raise. I didn't even know that Models could get a raise. Dad had some news of his own, The photo he took of me went for One million dollars. Since he sold ten, he opened an account and put in five million for me. Okay, somethings up. I looked at them, their faces giving nothing away as they ate. I slid lower in my seat, and took a bite of my food. we payed for the food and headed to the door. my arm was grabbed and I turned, to the Host guy. He held out a rose.
"Until next time."
"I bid you A'do." I smiled, nodded once, and took the rose.
Once at home I sprayed the rose with hair spray to help it keep it's shape. I taped it to the wall in my closet, and under it wrote flower from a stranger. I went to my life list and crossed out getting something from a person I don't know. The next one under that said, have a red convertible. Just wait a gosh damn second! I crossed it off with a marker and went down stairs where My parents where sitting at the table drinking wine.
"Have you gone into my closet?"
"No. Why?" Mom asked.
"I was thinking we'd take a trip to Italy, this summer." Dad said.
Number ten.
"You did. you read my life list. Are you being nice to me cause you don't want me to see Lexi?"
"Maybe." Mom said, not looking at me.
I crossed my arms. "I'm going. I want to see my big sister. She's the only one who loved me besides gram."
"You think we don't love you?" Dad asked.
"I know you don't love me."
"We always criticized you so you won't be made fun of. Don't you know that?" Mom asked.
My mind returned to the glorious thought of strangling her, perhaps with a noose.
"I'm going."
"Fine." Mother said.
"fine." I said.
"Good." Father said.
"Shit." I said, turning on my heel and pushing open the swinging door.
"Don't cuss!" Mother said.
I cussed in Italian.
"What did you say to me?" She demanded, as I began to climb the stairs.
"She called you a crazy bitch." Dad muttered.
Was he trying not to laugh?
"Ronan!"
I slammed my door, locking and blasted my music singing along at the top of my lungs. I took a shower and spent extra time on my hair. I mean I didn't have anything else to do. I put on a large t-shirt and my soft plaid Pj bottoms. I pulled a brush through my hair and put it in a braid. I shut my window, set my alarm and went to sleep.
~*~
I lugged the amp, microphone, Lap top and my back pack down the stone walk walk way with Mother nagging me at the door.
"Where are you taking that?"
I shut the trunk.
"Goodbye Mother."
"Don't I get a hug?"
"No. But i love you though." I said, getting in.
"Can you at least drive safe Ronan?"
I pulled away from the curb, making the wheels screech. I looked in the review mirror, and saw Her cross herself. By the time I pushed into class it was already started.
"Since your late Why don't you go first?"
"I have to set up."
"Then I'll finish role."
I set everything up.
"When your ready Ronan."
I looked at my feet, closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I let it out and looked at the class.
"Music. I couldn't live without it."
I got a few, I feel you girl's.
"I think in a way music, is the best way to describe me. Of course I couldn't find a song so I had to write one. I remixed a beat, the voices you hear in the back round are mine."
I turned on the amp.
"Sorry!" i said, yanking the mic away from the amp, so it stopped making the noise.
"Can everyone hear me?" i asked, into the mic.
"Just sing the damn song!" Someone called from the back.
"Okay. Jeesh." i mumbled getting laughs from the front.
I pushed play on the lap top and everyone began to smile and nod. I took a deep breath and brought the mic to my mouth.
"You always have criticized me, And you have always told me I wasn't good enough. You're Not the one I thought would say those things. Because of your taunts I became closed off, Oh, you made me not feel. If you won't take the blame then Shame on who? Oh yeah, Shame on who. I walk around with my head down, but now I'm picking it up to say; I just wanted you to know, you don't own me anymore, Yeah I'm starting a new. You can't control me if I'm far away. We never got along, and I don't know why I put up with it for so long, so Shame on who. Yeah, shame on who?"
They all bgan to dance to the music, and when I sang the course again they all sang along with me.
"Once I'm gone you'll never see me. The last thing you'll here from me is I blame you."
When I ended the song they all stood up and yelled, cheering.
"Sit down!" The teacher said.
"Whoo!" Everyone screamed.
A kid got onto a desk and cupped his hands around his mouth.
"Yo! you should be famous! Ronan!"
A chant of my name went up. i laughed, and when I waved everyone screamed. I had no clue why they were reacting like this, but it felt grate to be realized. I sat at a table at lunch.
"Here she is. Tell them you can sing." The guy said, followed to a group of girls.
"Are you going to sing? Guys! Ronan's gonna sing. it's the girl I was telling you about!" A girl said.
A group came over.
"Sorry guys-"
"You can't deny your fans!"
Another cant of my name went up.
"Alright!" i said.
Everyone screamed and clapped. I stood on the table and turned the amp up to max. I pushed play, and the whole court yard, walked over. Everyone began to dance, and the ones in my class began to sing with me. Everyone clapped and screamed.
"We have questions!" Some one yelled.
"Sure." I said, pointing to one one who had a hand up.
"Are you going to have a Cd?"
"I never thought about it."
"Do you have other songs?"
"I don't. Would You guys like me to make some?"
Everyone yelled and clapped.
"You with the sweater thing."
People laughed.
"Can you sign my note book?"
"Sure."
Everyone began to push each other to get to me.
"Whoa! Guys!" Everyone looked at me.
"Don't riot against each other. Riot against the ones who said you couldn't do it. We need to stick together! We need to show them what we're made of. We got fierce power guys, we just need to let it break through. Hands up, who's tired of being talked down to?"
Everyone raised their hand and said me.
"Then let's unite and Riot against the one's who told us no!"
"Whooo!"
"Now let's get some signing done, we got thirty minuets!'
Everyone lined up and I signed their books.
"What's your new song going to be called?" A girl asked.
"I don't now yet. It'll be good. trust."
"Can I get a hug?"
"Of course you can." i said, hugging her.
"Ronan, Can I get a picture?" Some one asked.
I took pictures. The bell rang.
"There's tomorrow!" I called to the ones who said damn.
I pushed the front door open and hurried to my room.
"Ronan-"
"Not now Mother I have demanding fans."
"Fans?"
I turned to her, my dark hair whipping around my face.
"The people who really love me."
She opened her mouth and then closed it. I smiled, shook my head and ran up stairs. I made a new song, this time using dubstep beats mixed in.
~*~
The next day people were giving me high fives. the best part was people would come up to me saying I was Their idol. At lunch I climbed onto the bench.
"You ready?"
Everyone dug into their bags and pulled out shirts, and put them on. Half of them said, Riot against the ones who said no, and the other half said I got fierce power. I felt pride.
"What the shit? Where's mine?!"
Someone tossed me a shirt and I caught it.
"That's what I'm sayin'."
I put the shirt on and looked down on it.
Riot.
"all right you little freaks." I said turning up the amp.
Everyone screamed.
"You guys." i smiled, and everyone calmed down. " I just wanted to say thanks and believeing in me. I never had that before. I love you guys. Your my real Family."
Everyone screamed.
"I added dubstep to this song. It's called We Can Riot."
They waved their arms. I pushed play and brought the mic up.
"People are telling me no, but It's hard to listen to them when My heart is yelling out Yes! I can't just let them talk me down, I have too much color. I'm coming back with a power so fierce it could start a new universe. If You follow me We can Riot, we can Scream, we can show our colors, and We'll show them what they've been missing."
Everyone screamed.
"You never knew I could fly cause you kept me trapped. Now I'm escaping my cage, making all this real. You never knew the real me cause I was afraid to be me. I can't start to understand why I let you run my life, after all I mean it is mine. It was as If you walked on water and watched as I drowned. If You follow me We can Riot, we can Scream, we can show our colors, and We'll show them what they've been missing. Come with me and We can start a Revolution, Kinda sad we thought they'd be there, don't worry we'll make it in the end. Once we start flying, we'll never look back again. Come on take a stand, let's show them we're stronger than they think, I know we can, yeah. When we fell hard they weren't ever there, when we fly, we'll leave them on the ground. If You follow me We can Riot, we can Scream, we can show our colors, and We'll show them what they've been missing. Once we fly then they'll realize that we had all the answers, but they never took the time to see us through."
Everyone jumped up and down and yelled. I smiled, and gave a two finger sulte. I finshed with the signing and pictures.
Once I got home a small dog ran to me and jumped on my leg.
"Whoa, Parents?!" I called.
The phone rang and I walked to answer it. The puppy weveaved through my legs. I tried my best to not step on it. I yanked the phone off the wall as the puppy grabbed my shoes lace.
"Aye, off the shoes homie. Hello?"
"Ronan?"
"Hey Lexi what's up. I swear dog, if you don't stop pulling my shoes lace I'll toss you on the Barbecue."
"Roasted dog. Yum."
"What's up." I laughed.
"I'm on my lunch break, and I wanted to call to see how your hanging in."
"What do you do?"
"I help the Models get ready for the runway. It's an internship through my school. I'm trying to get my line of clothes going."
"Does anyone see your clothes?"
"No it's supposed to be top secret."
"Why?"
"Oh I just said that cause I don't have a line yet."
I laughed, and scooted the puppy away from me.
"So can I get a picture of you or what?"
"Yeah, send me a friends request on Facebook. I'm not picking that up." I said, watching the puppy poop.
"Picking what up?"
"Nothing. Can you get to a computer?" i asked, pushing the swinging door open. "Puppy."
"Yeah I can get to one."
"They're buying me all kinds of stuff, to get me to stay here, and not go see you. They even bought me a dog. I don't even like dogs. No Stay, I don't want you in my room." The puppy sat down, and looked up at me with big eyes. "Ugh, get your ass in here, you Oreo."
The puppy bolted into my room, ears flying and eyes wide.
"Your such a softy." She said, as I heard a ping.
"Okay, I'm getting on now." I said. "Okay we're friends." I said.
I heard a noise and turned my head to see the Puppy jumping on a plastic bag. She barked at it, and growled.
"It's not real." i in formed her.
"Huh?"
"The dog." i said, turning back to the screen. "Whoa your really pretty." I said.
"Oh, thanks you are to."
"We don't really look alike." I said, leaning forward.
"Not really."
There was silence.
"Maybe we have different Dad's." She finally said.
"I'm the one with the different Dad." We said together laughing.
"Cookie knock it off." I called.
The puppy plopped down.
"Yeah you better listen. So There's just a week left until I can come and visit. Where do you live anyway?"
"Alaska."
"Alaska!"
"Yeah." She laughed.
"Tried to get far away."
"You think it worked?"
"Yeah." I laughed."Cookie!"
The puppy barked at me.
"Don't get an attitude with me girl."
"You'd be an epic Mom."
"Yeah right." I snorted, Looking through her pictures.
"Hey Let me let you go. I got an Idea for my line, and It's dude in two days."
"Yeah, sure."
"I love you Ronan."
"I love you too Lexi." I said, hanging up.
I looked over at the puppy. She cocked her head, and then ran to me, barking. I picked her up, and took her out side.
"Cookie No!" i called, as She fell into the pool. I took of my jacket and dived into the pool. I grabbed the puppy and swam to the edge.
"It's okay, Mommy has you, Cookie." I said, holing her close. "Your such a vile creature." I said, rocking her. I went to the back door, and grabbed a towel off the shelf and sat on a chaise chair and dried her off.
"Ronan. Why are you wet?" Mother asked, coming from the glass doors.
"Cookie was drowning. I had to save her."
"That's a cute name. Sh'e yours."
I got up.
"No she's your deal." I said, handing her Cookie, wrapped in the towel.
I grabbed my jacket and went inside.
"Your dripping all over the floor. Take a hot shower before you get sick."
"Then Tie a noose so you can strangle me with it. Oh shoot, okay, let me start on that first." I muttered to myself walking stiffly to my bathroom.
I paused at the base of the stairs and looked up. I sighed, and slowly began to climb the stairs.
I sat down at the dinner table, with Cookie at my feet. I ripped a piece of biscuit and gave it to her when they weren't looking. Cookie ate it quickly. Sweet! I hate biscuits, they're to dry and flaky, Gah!
"What are you going to do with Cookie, while you're gone?" Mother asked.
"You can't just leave her." Father said.
"Sure I can. I didn't want her. Your the one who wanted to get her, so you guys get to take acre of her." I said, dropping the whole biscuit to the floor.
I hope you get the shits so they have to clean it up. They ate their food, in silence.
"There's nothing you can do to change my mind. I'm going to go. Stop trying to make me stay, in a week I'm gone. Then I'll be back cause I have to come back for stupid school."
~*~
Everyone was wearing a red shirt that said, I'm a little freak. A girl walked up to me with a cloth sticker.
"May I?"
"Yeah go for it. I like getting gifts from you guys." I said, pushing my hair back.
She stuck the sticker to my shirt, and smoothed it over my collar bone.
"Freaky." She smirked taking off.
I looked down at the sticker. In cool graffiti it said, Mother Freak. Sweet. At lunch I played my new song Only one life, for everyone. This time I noticed people were filming me. I got some food, and sat on top of a table to eat. A girl came up to me with a paper.
"I played Some of your songs for my little sister. She said your her Idol. She drew you a picture." She said, handing it to me.
"No shit!" i took the picture." This is sick Yo."
It was of me and the little girl. Over the big girl it said Mother Freak, and under it, it said Ronan. on top of the little girl it said, Little Freak, and under it, said me.
"Want to see a picture of her?"
"Can I?" I asked.
The girl Pulled out her phone and gave it to me. There was a Little girl wearing a red shirt that said, I'm a little freak. She held the bottom out and smiled proudly.
"This is the same size as my camera. Mind if I take the picture and put it on my lap top?"
"Go for it. Could you sign this for her?" She asked, giving me a picture, of me performing at lunch.
"Yeah, what's her name?"
"Abby."
"okay, Abby, stick up for yourself and Riot against the ones who said, no cause I'm telling you yes." I capped the marker and gave her back the picture.
"Thanks."
"sure, and the picture's done." I said, handing her the phone as the bell rang.
When I got home I pined the drawing on my wall, and crossed out getting art by someone who admires you, big time. As I opened my door to go get a soda, Cookie jumped on me.
"Hi." I waved down at her.
She barked.
"I'm not picking you up Not with that attitude." I told her crossing my arms. I looked at the roof. "I'm talking to a dog."
Cookie bit my pants and tugged. I picked her up and tapped her nose. She hit me back, and I taped her nose again.
"No, you don't pull on my pants, and you sure as Hell don't hit me."
I got a soda, and Put her outside. She stayed away from the pool this time. I sat on a chair and Pushed a button on the fire place. Flames came up. Cookie Jumped, cocked her head, and then Barked and growled. She put her feet on the chaise chair. I bent to grab her and she took off to the other side of the yard, ears flapping in the light breeze. I rolled my eyes, and sat back.
"Cookie, Cookie, Cookie!" i called.
She came to a halt and turned to me, Cocking her head.
"Cookie, Cookie, Cookie!"
She bolted back, and jumped on me, She walked onto my chest and attacked my face with puppy kisses. The fire raised, with a Puff noise. Cookie Yelped and plopped down on my chest. I took a drink of my soda, and held my cap to her. She sniffed it and then licked it. She looked up at me. I sat up and put her between my legs. I poured some soda into the cap and lowered it down to her. she lapped it up. I poured another cap full and held in front of her.
"Cheers Cookie!" i said, taking a drink myself.
I poured another cap full. She sniffed it, and then sat down licking her mouth. I drank the cap full and sat back. She crawled onto my chest and plopped down. She let out a big sigh as if she'd had a hard day, and then closed her eyes.
~*~
An hour later I got back into my car with Cookie. We just finished shopping at pet smart. Once at home, I sat her on my bed. I put on her collar. She tried to chew on it. I pulled out her toy and she jumped for it. I gave it to her and she began to chew on that. I put all the other stuff away and then played with her.
"How am I going to leave you when I go to Alaska?" I asked, as she saw down looking at the toy i wiggled above head. "Get it Cookie."
She barked, and jumped at the toy.
"Ronan?" Mom called.
I walked to the door, and Cookie Barked. I picked her up and walked into the kitchen.
"Will you help me make dinner?"
"Why?" i asked, suspicious and petting Cookie's head.
"I would like to cook a meal with my Daughter before she leaves."
"I'm still going."
"I know you are. Wash your hands please."
I sighed and put Cookie down.
"This is really good." Dad said, pointing the chicken.
"Ronan cooked it." Mom said.
Dad looked over at me, and smiled.
"You'll make a good wife."
I choked on my mashed potatoes. A god what now? I fed Cookie my Biscuit.
"So are you getting along with Cookie?" Dad asked.
"I'm still going." I said, smacking the table. "Hire a dog sitter. I know you have the money."
They both looked at me shocked. I stood up and picked up Cookie.
"Were you going?"
"To give the dog I didn't want a bath." I said, leaving.
Cookie was standing on my bathroom counter head cocked looking at the bubble filled sink. I don't know how to give a dog a bath. I put Cookie into the sink, and grabbed onto her as she started to drown.
"Whoops! Sorry Cookie!" I said, scrubbing her with soap.
I changed my soaked shirt and dried her off, putting her collar back on.
"That wasn't so bad." I said, as she sat on my bed.
She pawed at her face.
"I think I did pretty good for my first time, Thank you very much." I said, crossing my arms.
She flopped over, and closed her eyes.
"Oh, so dramatic." I said, shutting the light off.
~*~
I put the suitcase on the bed, and opened it. Cookie looked at me as if to ask what the Hell? I grabbed some clothes and shoved them into the suitcase. I got some more and made my way back to the suitcase. I smiled and Set the clothes down.
"What are you doing?" I asked, hands on hips.
Cookie wagged her tail from inside my suitcase. I laughed, and picked her up.
"You can't go." I said, kissing her head and setting her on the bed.
I put the clothes in and grabbed more. I laughed as I saw Cookie back in the suit case. I worked around her. I set her on the bed, and shut the suit case. She climbed onto it and layed down. I shut my window, and curtains. I picked up my lap top case. This isn't going to work. I Zipped up my jacket and put cookie inside. I grabbed My suit case and went down stairs. I put my bag and lap top case by the front door. I took Cookie out back Where they where outside sitting by the Fire.
"You packed?" Mother asked.
"Yeah." I said, Setting Cookie down.
She ran to pee.
"So-"
Dad was cut off By a horn. I opened the front door and Lexi shut the door to her car.
"Ronan!" She yelled.
With a grin we ran to each other and hugged. Dad Brought my things out and Mom brought Cookie out. Dad put my bags into the car.
"Bye Cookie."
"It's just a week." Lexi said.
Cookie looked at Lexi with said eyes.
"Ugh, some here you Oreo." She said, taking her from Mom.
She held her to her face, "You cause a lot of trouble, you know that?" Lexi said.
Cookie licked her nose.
"That's it, Pack your doggy bag, you're coming with us." Lexi said putting Cookie under her arm.
Dad ran into the house and came back out with My back pack. He gave it to me. I looked at him Eyebrow raised.
"I knew you couldn't leave without her." He smiled.
I smiled, and hugged him. He rubbed my back.
"See ya kid."
"Bye Mom." I said, walking past her.
Lexi bit her lip and turned to the car. I hoped in and Lexi handed me Cookie.
"Ready to get out of here?"
"Who knew leaving would feel so free."
She laughed and turned up the radio. I smiled.
"What?" She asked.
"I love this song."
"Shall we sing it?"
"Let's." I said.
We sang at the top of our lungs. Cookie layed on my lap and covered her eyes.
(Continues in Imperfect.)

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 11.10.2012

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Widmung:
My Mother hates it when I sing. She says it's a sign of freedom and rebellion. So I sung my heart out.