“well don’t you look nice.” my mom said, as i came down stairs.
“i look the same.” i said, looking down at my jeans keds t-shirt and hoddie.
“hmm. must be your hair.” she said.
“can i go now?” i asked nervouly pulling on my side braid.
“sure.” she said.
“aunt jojo.” i said, coming inside.
“oh sweety!” she said, hugging me.
“i’m so so so sorry.”
“no it’s okay.”
she and my mom went to the table and drank coffee while i sat at the table, working on my music. i paused my music, and heard them talking about me. “i’m just so worried about her jojo, she doesn’t want to eat, she hardly ever talks, she even shut out all of her friends.”
“jess, give her some time, it just happened a week ago. kyllie’s a strong girl, she’ll get her things together. how about i take her back, with me for the summer, give her a little chance to breathe.”
“i guess that would be okay.”
“kyllie?” my mom called.
“kyllie?” they said.
i looked up and took my head phones out.
“how would you like to stay with me at my beach house for the summer?” jojo asked.
“sure.” i said.
they stood. we walked her to the door.
“i’ll be back in the morning to get you.” she said.
we hugged and she was gone.
“you don’t have to go.”
“no it’s fine. i have to pack.”
“kyllie?”
i gripped the banistar untill my knuckles where white.
“i’m fine.”
“you keep saying that though.”
“because it’s the truth.” i said, still looking at the stairs. “ just let it go.” i said, climbing up the stairs.
i packed my things, and crawled into bed.
“ready kiddo?” jojo asked.
“yeah.” i said, trying to smile.
she picked up my bag, and my mom grabbed the other. i put on my back pack grabbed my key board, and stand then followed them.
“well i’ll let you two say goodbye.” jojo said, shuting the trunk.
“i’ll call you.” i said. she nodded.
“i’m fine.”
“i know."
we hugged.
“see you.”
“yeah.” she said.
we pulled away.
“she smothers to much.” i said.
“oh darlin’ thats what mothers do.” jojo said, rubbing my arm.
“you hungry?”
“starving.”
“just like your daddy.”
i looked out the window. we pulled into a fast food place that i have never heard of and got some food. she got an ommlett and i got chicken tenders.
“so how you feeling?”
“fine.”
“fine isn’t a feeling, kyllie.”
“look, i can’t explain why i’m acting this way.”
“maybe you just can’t believe it happened.”
i dipped a tender into ranch. “well it did, so.”
“alright. i can take a hint.” she said, taking a drink of her shake. i took a drink of mine. scilence fell, and i started to twich.
“you’re going to love the beach house.”
“i hope so.”
“it’s perfect.”
we through our things away, and got back into the car. “you mind?” i asked, holding up my ipod. “no go for it.” she said, reaching for the radio. i played perfect by lights. jojo woke me up softly. she was right i love the beach house. i grabbed my back pack and my key board. jojo grabbed my bags and we went to the door. “you have a cat?” i asked. “yeah, she’s a sweety.” she said.
“oh.”
“you don’t like cats do you?”
“they’re kinda vile creatures.”
“you’ll learn to love gigi.”
i laughed.
“what?”
“nothing. jojo gigi.”
“alright, laugh it up. she came with that name.”
i laughed again.
“it’s good to hear you laugh.”
“um. where’s my room?”
“oh. up the stairs, and the first door on the right, it was your daddy's room.”
i brang my things to my room. “looking for this?” she asked, holding my key board stand and amp. “thanks.”
“i didn’t know you where into music.” “yeah." i said, turning to the stairs. "your dad was into music to."
i exhaled. "yeah. i know." i said, jogging up the stairs as best as i could. i set up the key board. jojo pushed open the door.
"found this in the basement the other day." she said, setting down the black leather key board seat. "it was your fathers."
"thanks." i said, really meaning it. i ran my hand over the seat.
"you'll have to play for me some time."
"ha ha, not a chance."
"you'll get better at playing your music. i mean more confident in front of a crowd."
i nodded.
"i new thats what you ment."
she noddded, and left to the hall. she came back with a box, which she plopped into my arms.
"thats, also his. he didn't like people hearing him either." she kissed my forehead.
"jojo." i said, as she turned. "thanks." i said, when she turned back. she nodded and went down stairs. i put the box on my bed. i read my dad's wrighting.
1979, robby's music stuff. P.S stay out jojo. thanx.
i ripped off the tape and dug in. "sorry daddy." i said. i pulled out a key board cover, a mic and stand that attached to the key board, lime green and black head phones, a cam corder, and his book of music. i set everything up. i sat down at the leather chair and pulled on the head phones. i took a deep breath and played the first song he wrote. i started to hum, and smiled. the song he wrote fit perfectly with the one song that i didn't write music for.
"sometimes i may stumble in life but i'm doin' just fine. don't worry 'bout me i need to do this on my own. if you don't mind, i'd like to try what's right for me." i sang. i smiled. i went back to the first time i watched him play.
"i know your there, kyllie." he laughed. i crawlled onto his lap.
"daddy, do you think maybe i can play as good as you some day?"
"some day?" he asked, setting me on the seat next to him. "how about we start now?"
"but i'm only five, daddy."
"you can do anything if you put your mind to it. now follow my lead."
i smiled and then pushed away from
the key board. i walked to the window and watched the waves pound the shore. i started to hum again. i nodded my head.
"watchin' the waves with out you by my side, feels all wrong i wanna run and hide, will your forgive me for caring on with my life with out ya' by my side?" i sang.
i unzipped my bag and grabbed my song book. i wrote this down and then grabbed my dad's music book and flipped through it untill i found the music i wanted.
"dinner!" my aunt called.
i shut my book and went down stairs.
"thanks for that box jojo, it really improved my sound."
she smiled brightly.
"glad i could help. i knew how important your dad's music was to him, so i could only imagine how much more important it is to you now that. we're having bqq ribbs, for dinner, why don't you have a seat?"
i sat down.
"if you wanna talk about my dad it's fine. i mean he was your brother. i'm not the only one that lost him."
"sometimes you remind you exactly of your daddy."
"so strong." she added.
i smiled.
"it's like my music is the most important thing to me now, and when i'm doing it, i just feel so happy, like it's the high light of my life."
i speared a fry with my fork. "it is." i said.
" you eat frys like your dad." she pointed out.
"yeah i know. i told him that i wanted to be just like him, so he would do wierd things just to see if i would follow." i said, with a laugh. "some of it just stuck." i forked another fry.
"i bet you miss him."
"oh more than anything, he got me. he new i was me, and not someone else. we comuinacated through music. i can't do that any more."
"well maybe you can conect with fans."
"no way jojo."
"you never know."
"i want to change lives with my music."
"so.."
"so, i have to be perfect." i put my fork down and sat back in my chair.
"you know, what if they get the worng idea about my music, i don't want to be labbled. i'm a little bit of everything i guess." i said, picking up my fork.
"if it's something you love then why care about what people say?"
"true. but music is my life and when people hear it, and it doesn't mean something to people i know that i'm not making a difference so why bother."
she smiled.
"what?"
"your father said, thoughs exact words, at this exact table, at your exact age to me."
"he did?"
"yep."
"must of been hard."
she cocked her head.
"raising him. i mean."
"not really he was so into his music that i never saw him. he never showed anyone though."
"why not?"
"the same reason, you won't."
duh, mental head slap.
"but i'll tell, you something i didn't tell him. you can do it. so what if it doesn't mean anything to people. it means something to you."
"your right, but i don't think i can do it."
"you will when your ready."
i finished my dinner took a shower and went to bed. "and the way you shine darlin' has truly amazed me." i sang as i made my bed.
"your good." jojo said, walking by the door.
"hey!" i objected.
"kepping that voice a secret is a crime!" she jogged down the stairs.
i changed into shorts and a t-shirt and grabbed my ipod.
"i'm going jogging!" i called. "be back, by 11, i want you to come to work with me." she said.
"um ok." i said, shoving my ear phone in.
after my jog, i took a shower, grabbed an orange and we jumped into the car. "i think it's cool you own a restaraunt."
"me too." she said, hugging me to her side.
"i'm sorry i really am." a kid said. he had an empty tray. "i'm so clumsy are you ok?"
"i'm good. don't worry so much." i said, offering my best smile.
he smiled back, wipped his hand on his black apron and held his hand out to me.
"i'm jordan."
"kyllie." i said, shaking his hand.
"see you around."
"yeah."
"jordan!" someone yelled.
"i'm on it!" he smiled and left. the next morning the bell rang.
"kyllie can you get that?" jojo asked. "shoot." i said, wiping up the smothie i spilled.
"yeah."
"hey." i said, as i opened the door to jordan. he smiled. "hey. i came by to give this to jojo."
"yeah, sure come on in. jojo, jordans here."
she came to us taking the box that jordan had. "thanks." she said, going into the livingroom.
"kyllie, do you wanna grab something to eat?" he asked.
"or i could make sand witches and we can eat them on the beach."
"works for me."
he followed me into the kitchen. "here." i said, giving the extra smoothie.
"did you make this?"
"yeah, it's called berry berry sweet," i said, making the sand witches.
"it's really good."
"thanks."
i put the sand witches in bags, and handded them to him. i picked up my smoothie and grabbed a blanket. "got it?" he asked. "uh huh." i said. we went to the beach.
"so your jojo's niece?"
"yeah."
"thats cool. your dad used to baby sit my older brother."
i nodded.
"he inspired him to become a wrighter. how is he?"
"not to good. he died last week."
"oh god kyllie, i'm sorry."
"no it's okay." i said, offering my smile.
"see with the whole clumsy thing?"
i laughed.
"i'm going to wright a song about you."
"your a wrighter too?"
"and a singer, and i play music."
" can i hear the song?"
"no way."
"that's no fair, it's about me."
"i can't."
"sure you can." he said, smiling.
i shook my head no.
"you scared?"
"i don't even know why i told you."
"because it's important to you, and you love it, i can see, it. your not scared."
"no. it's just i want my music to mean something to people and it can't if i'm not the best at it."
"but it will make a difference to me cause it's about me."
"we'll see."
he laughed.
"i'll take that."
the next day i found him washing tables.
"i finished the song." i said, sitting on a table.
"can i hear it?"
"i don't know."
he looked at me.
"alright fine." i said, jumping off of the table.
"come by my place affter work." i said, leaving.
"kyllie?"
i turned to him.
"i bet it rocks."
i smile-nodded and left.
at five o'clock jordan was sitting on my bed and i was behind the key board.
"i'm sorry."
"at least let me hear a little. can you do that?"
"a little. ok."
i began to play.
"i meat you as a clumsy kinda kid i only wish that you could see what i see. you made me laugh and believe in the hope friendship again. i know if you try you'll see the you that i see. i only hope that one day."
i let my hands sag and the keys moaned in protest.
"i'm sorry."
"i want to take you to see some one." "who?"
"come on i think it will help you."
he took my hand and led me to his car.
"a bar?" i asked.
"come on," he said.
i followed him into the bar, and through a door, where a guy sat.
"yo, little jordan!" he said, standing. "hey cam." jordan said.
they hugged.
"this is my friend. i'll be back." he said, leaving.
"so you into music?" cam asked. i nodded.
"wanna here me play?"
"sure."
he got a guitar and played.
"the guy i learned from didn't want people listening to him, so i'm kinda doing it for him."
" how do you do it?"
"i think of an old friend, and do it for him. it's what he'd want right?"
"i geuss."
"let me guess, your kyllie?"
"yeah."
"your dad, taught me everything i know."
"he did?"
"oh yeah, your dad's the shit. how is he?"
"he um." I stopped looking up at cam's smile. "he died."
"oh god."
he put down his guitar. even though he didn't know me he pulled me into a hug.
"man that sucks."
"i know."
we pulled apart.
"you play?"
"key board."
"could you sub for me?"
"yeah sure."
"your not affraid?"
"it's not my music."
he nodded. he got up and gave me some papers.
"thoughs are the songs. come on, you're going to be grate."
he slung a arm around my shoulder and led me to the stage. as i walked to the key board, jordan picked up a guitar. he smiled, akwardly and then slung the strap over his shoulers. "how's everyone tonight!" cam yelled. the crowd screamed.
"as you no gabby and josh, aren't here. my little brother jordan will take josh's place"- jordan was a natural on the stage he raised his hand and the crowd screamed.- "and the girl in gabby's place is very special to me. she's the daughter of the man that taught me everything i know. ladies and gentalmen, kyllie williams!" cam said.
everyone yelled even louder as i waved.
" let's get started!"
jordans guitar screached to life with the opening notes.
"man what a rush! no wonder you love what you do!" i said.
"you could do it to. your dad told me if your music makes you happy, then fuck everyone else." cam said, patting my shoulder.
i hugged him.
"thanks cam." i said.
"anytime kid." he said, with a smile. "jj, wait up dude, you owe me pizza!" he yelled, chatching up with the drummer. "wait up!" the bass player called. "well hurry up luke!" jj yelled.
i hugged jordan. "thank you." i said. "sure." he said, hugging me tighter. affter jordan went home i sat down for dinner with jojo and told her what cam said.
"well then?" she probed.
"my dad didn't want people to hear his, music so what leads me to believe that he would want me to have my music heard?"
"nothing."
"exactly." i said, pointing my fork at her.
"damn."
"jojo."
"what?" she asked with a shrug.
she took a drink of her milk.
"i played and sang for jordan."
her milk almost reached my food went she spit it everywhere.
"oh gross!" i protested.
"you played? how did it make you feel?"
"completly out of my elaments, and absoultly retarted."
"what did he say?"
"Nothing, he told me he wanted me to meet someone and showed me cam. i didn't even play a whole song, i chickened out at the third or fourth verse."
"thats a start."
"a shity start."
"sorry." i said, glancing up at her then going back to my plate.
"what do you think about cam?" "he's epic. he truly is a work of art." "then maybe.." she started.
"maybe what?"
"maybe, and i'm going out on a limb here, maybe you could do it for him. do it for the people that don't have a chance to do it, and would love to."
"i hate to admit it jojo. but your right."
she smiled.
"but i need to practice."
she exhaled.
"will you be my one woman audiance?"
"i would love nothing better." "perfect."
"oh would you stop stalling and play for me?" she asked, excitedly the next morning.
"alright alright."
"k ready?" i asked.
"yep."
"let's hope i am too." i played.
"the first time i saw you i knew you where somethin' different and cool. you looked at me and i knew we could be something so great that i kinda shy'd away. i'm a little strange and the way you shine darlin' has truly amazed me. i can't help thinkin' that we'd be perfect, but i keep you at a distance cause i've been hurt before." i sang. she clapped as i played the key board. "and now that you're lookin' my way, darlin' my head starts spinin' and i get thoes stupid butterflies, once you start walkin' my way. as we meat you touch my hand i feel almost as if i have mealted. i know that we'd be perfect, only if i could let you in, but somethin' says to be carefull, around pretty little boys like you. oh darlin' like you." i sang. "holy crap your good." she said. i smiled and ended the song, and then stood.
"i did it jojo!" i said, excitedly.
she jumped up and we hugged.
"i knew you could, and you sound really good!"
"even though i wrote that song when i was 12 i still played for someone."
i'm so proud of you!"
"i have to call jordan."
i went to the kitchen.
"hey kyllie."
"hey is uh you're brother home?" "cam!" he called.
there was static noise and he came on. "'ello?"
"it's kyllie."
"hey kid."
"i did it."
"no shit!"
"yeah, and it felt great!"
"so you think you can play for me?" "let me wright a new song."
"well shit, kid, that's what i like to hear, call me back when you got one, i can't wait."
"i will and cam?"
"yeah?"
"thanks."
"sure kid."
"no i really mean it. you inspired me." "exalent! i've always wanted to to that."
"well mision complet."
"sweet. ok listen kid i gotta get to band practice, but you owe me a high five when i see you next."
"cool. call you later."
"peace." he said, before hanging up.
i went to work with jojo. jordan told me that cam would be playing at nine tomorrow night, and i agreed to go. i started on a song as soon as i got home, using my dad's music. at 8:00 i jummped into jordans car.
"i'm gonna get a soda, want one?"
"yep."
i walked to the door, and a large man looked at me.
"calm your jett's i know cam." i said, pushing open the door before he could stop me.
"yo, little kyllie!" jj said.
"there you are!" luke said.
"hey guys!" i said, high fiving them. i high fived cam and hugged him.
"this is kyllie, she subbed for gabby." he said, to a girl and guy. they nodded. "i brang the song if you wanted to check it out."
"hell yeah, kid, clear out guys." he said, they left.
"oh gabby, could i use for board?" i asked, as she left. she smiled.
"knock yourself out kid." she said. i nodded.
"ready?" i asked, sitting down.
"i'm not gonna lie, i'm totaly siked."
"good. maybe you'll like it then. keep in mind that i wrote this in twenty minuets."
he nodded.
"ready when you are."
i played. "there's this guy i know who's pretty damn cool if you don't mind me sayin'. i'm just a girl with a dream to scared to produce." i paused to play. "he helped me out, and made me see what i can do. he said, some stuff that i took and ran with. now i'm not afraid to let the world here just what i gotta say." i paused again. "i'm just a girl, with a dream of her own. i never thought of tellin' the world. scard of what they thought, but that's no longer me. the guy i know is truly epic even a pice of art if you will." paused again. "i learned to be ture to myself and i only have him to thank. with out him i'd still be a lost little kid." i paused. "oh but not any more. oh no more, cause i got somethings that the world will hear loud and clear. i don't care if people like me, i gotta be true to my heart. all i wanna do is make you porud, but if i don't than i'm not sorry, i can't apolaigize for what i'm gonna be doin' so maybe you could one day just join' in on the fun that i hope to give people." i paused. "even if i'm doin' this whole thing wrong, it's okay, cause i'm happy at heart. and i thank that guy with all of my heart." i closed the song.
"damn." he said, standing. we hugged.
"you gotta put your music out in the world!"
"you think?"
"yeah. jordan's good with the computer, he can make you a youtube thing."
"yeah. i could do that."
"cam." gabby said, poking her head in the room.
"i'm on kid."
i followed him. jordan gave me my soda and we cheered them on. jordan parked infront of my house.
"cam thinks that i'm ready to put my music out there."
"you played for him?" he asked, sounding hurt.
"damn."
i got out and opened his door.
"come on."
he stayed put.
"come awn!" i said, taking his arm and pulling him to my room.
"to make up for it, i'll show you a song that i will not be showing the world. sit." i said, pointing at the bed.
"yes ma'am."
i sat at my piano, and checked the amp. i played. i looked up at him and then looked down. i focused everything i had on the key board, and sang.
"oh. the emptyness inside of me is all that's left from the very day you left me. i can't understand why you had to go, i still need you here in my life." i paused. "all i ever wanted was to make you proud, and when i didn't i felt broken on the inside." i paused. "now that your gone i feel like throughing everything away. i miss you and you'll never see me grow. it's gonna be hard now that you've left me in this big scary world, but i'll stand tall and do the best i can. yeah, i'll be doin' it for you." i paused. "sure i'll be missin' you like hell, but i have to move on with my own life. not a day will pass that i'm not thinking of you." i paused. "i feel invisible, but i turn myself over to music, the number one thing you loved, to do. i'm doin' it for you, yeah i'm tryin' my best." i paused. "but please forgive me if my best isn't enough. don't watch as i slip and fall. i want to be the best for you. i hope that the person i will become will make you proud." i ended the song. he was quiet. at first i thought he thought i was crazy.
"you need to put that on the you tube account."
"what are you doing?"
he went to my laptop and went to youtube. he typed in his email, and KylliEwiLLiamS~! for the user name. he fixed the page and grabbed my dads cam cord.
"ready to film your first video?" i sat at the key board. he nodded.
"are you filming?"
"yeah."
"here go's nothing."
i played and sang. he uploaded the video, then stayed for dinner.
"what the hell!" i said, as jordan hit me in the head with a pillow.
"have you checked your youtube account?"
"no." i said, getting up.
he logged in and i almost shit my pants. 2 million views.
"holy shit." i said. he refreshed the page. 2 million 500.
"oh my good." i said.
"and only one dislike." he said. "whatever, can't win 'em all."
"that's the spirit. so i have our day planned out."
" you do?"
"yeah, we're going to eat, cause i'm starving. then your going to shower and get dressed, and do the rest of the songs, and then i want to take that one song about cam, and remix it. like add more upbeat music to it, i have a remixer at my house, so we'll have to do it over there, but only if you want to."
"cool."
"perfect, then tonight at ten cam needs us again."
"sounds like a plan lets get started."
"yo, kids, just in time lets get on with this!" cam, said, high fiving us.
we played and then went out for pizza. a group of girls came to our table,with note books and pens. they smiled big.
"you're kyllie williams." one said.
"uh, yeah." i said.
"could we get your autograph?" another asked.
"you inspire us." another said.
jack pot! i smiled. "names?" i asked, taking the books. i gave them back there books. they thanked me and went back to their table.
"that was wierd."
"get used to it kid." luke said, reaching for his soda.
once i got home i made a face book page. i went down stairs and saw jojo, pulling out a container of ice cream. "hey, kyllie, haven't seen you in a while."
"sorry."
"no problem, so what's been happening?"
we got a bowl of ice cream and i told her everything. after she went to bed i took a shower and climbed into bed. after an hour i hit my matress and threw the blankets aside, and got onto the facebook page. i hit the status botton.
~ hey guys! thanx for all the likes. most of you want more vids, and i'm working on it in a hurry. i had to sub for gabby, in the rare days. my buddy is working on remixing one of my vids, so he has my cam cord. i'll post a vid as fast as i can. and yes i'll try to put up more pics, but i'm pretty boring so let's take it day by day shall we? thnxs a bunch.~
i held my breath and pushed post. coments popped up, most of them siked i knew the rare days, and they couldn't wait for me to put up new vids, and when i subed for gabby to post it so they could come and watch. i logged of and went to sleep.
"do you knock?" i asked, quickly pulling down my shirt, as jordan walked in.
"sorry. i got the video." he said.
he let me look at it before he put it up.
"the fans want picks." i said.
i picked up my camra and threw my arm around jordan, taking a pic. "cute." i said, showing him, he nodded.
"we're having a bbq. wanna come?" "yeah."
we went to his house.
"kyllie." cam said, hugging me. i gave jj, luke, gabby, and josh a high five. "fans want pics mind?" i asked.
the all stood close, and i gave the camra to jordan. i stood next to cam, who raped both arms around me. jordan passed the camra to a staff member and stood next to jj. during the bbq i took pics. i uploaded the pics. jordan called me.
"dude, i got you a interview with matt james. it starts at six, i'll pick you up." he said. i agreed.
"my guest today is an up coming artist, laydies and gentalmen, kyllie williams." matt said.
as i walked they played one of my songs. people clapped as i waved.
"miss kyllie." matt said, as i sat down. "let me ask you something." he said, scooting forward. "what is it that you want from life?" he asked.
" i just want to feel alive, i want people to talk about me for years to come, cause my music means that much."
"you go girl!" someone yelled. i laughed.
"now your music tell me what you can."
"ok." i took a deep breath.
"well, it started when i was five, and i saw my dad play the piano. he taught me to play and i became a wrighter. my dad didn't like people hearing his music. and niether did i. we had the same view. if our music didn't make a difference in people's life than why bother. my aunt tryed to help me but i couldn't play. i met jordan who's now kinda like my music producer, he asked me to play for him, but i couldn't i only played a little bit. jordan took me to this club, where his brother cam, do you know who that is?"
matt nodded.
"lovely boy." he said.
"yes. cam was playing, with his band. my dad used to baby sit cam, and taught him everything that cam now knows. cam told me that if my music means something to me to just not care what others think, witch is what my dad told him. cam told me the only reason he plays is for my dad. so the reason i play is for my dad, cam, and thoughs who never had the chance to live through music."
everyone clapped.
"sounds like your music is important." i got nervous.
"yeah."
"so you didn't want to play because?" he probbed.
"i didn't want people to get the wrong message about my songs. i want to change lifes with my music, and i can't do that if i'm not the best. but cam taught me that it's ok to not be the best all the time, and if people don't like your music, that's there problem. if you like your music don't let a couple of jerks stop you."
everyone clapped. after the metting i went out for pizza with jordan.
"i wanted to tell you how much you mean to me." i said.
he smiled.
"go on."
"you mean a lot, i wouldn't of done this with out you."
"sure you would of. all it takes is practice."
we sat on my roof in blankets.
"how come you never talk about your parents?"
he looked down at me and then pulled me closer, raping his arms around me.
"cause i don't live with them."
"you live with cam?"
"and the other band members."
"must be fun."
"sometimes."
i nodded.
"i really do care about you. you know that right."
he kissed the top of my head.
"i know."
"don't ever forget that. even if we have a disagrement."
"what's bringing this on?"
"i never had someone like you before. you bring out my best, and i can tell you whatever i want and you won't judge me. i don't want to lose you. you're to important to me now. everyone goes away in the end and i don't want to lose you."
"oh, kid, you're never gonna lose me. sorry to break it to you."
"i love you jordan."
"i love you, kyllie. always."
just then an icey wind blew.
"holy popcicles!" i said.
we laughed, gathered our things and jumped through my window. i walked down stairs with jordan.
"call me when you get, home."
"will do." he said, kissing my cheek.
it was 2 in the morning and he still hadn't called.
"what are you doing up?" jojo asked. "jordan hasn't called me." i said.
"that doesn't mean that somethings wrong."
"he always calls me. something happened i just know it."
the phone rang and i snached it off the wall.
"hello?" i asked.
"kyllie?"
my heart sank.
"it's me cam."
"it's jordan."
i held my breath.
"he got into a car accsedent."
i started to hypervenalate.
"he's in surgery right now. i'll call you if there's anyother news."
the phone fell to the conter.
"take me to the hospital." i told jojo.
"i don't." she said.
"take me to the hospital dammit jojo, or i'll drive myself."
once at the hospital i jumpped out of the car before it stoped. as i ran through the doors, cam called me. i looked over to my right. he held open his arms. it took everything i had to just run and slam into him, without falling to my knees. i broke down and cried.
"hey hey." he said, stroking my hair. "he's going to be okay right?"
"oh sure, jordan's strong he'll get through this."
"look i'm sorry about your brother." a man said.
"do you understand that you could of killed him!" i yelled at the man.
"guys." cam said.
jj grabbed one arm and luke grabbed the other.
"kyllie, why don't we get some coffee?" gabby asked.
"he could of killed him gabby." i said, crying all over again.
"i know." she said, letting some tears slip, and patting my face.
i shook off jj and luke and sat on the floor. i looked up when someone sat next to me. cam gave me a coffee.
"i can't lose him." i said, shaking my head. "i just can't do it cam."
he cupped my chin.
"listen to me. you're going to be just fine."
we heard yelleing and then men pushing a streacher. cam pulled my head into his chest. when they passed he let me go.
"that was him wasn't it."
"yeah." he said, softly.
" how'd he look?"
"the truth?"
"the truth." i said, air catching in my throat.
"not to good kid."
"oh god." i said. "don't take him. don't leave me here alone please."
cam took my coffee and pulled me to him. i clung to his jaket like a life line.
"god's not going to take him."
"how do you know?"
"he owe's me a favor."
i laughed with out humor.
"if he doesn't make it i'm quiting my music."
"jordan wouldn't want that."
"i can't do it with out him."
"you're doing it with out your dad."
"yeah, but jordan was there, he helped me, we put the music up together he showed me happiess." i said, starting to cry.
"cammeron Price?" the doctor asked. cam looked up. "i need you to sign somethings." he said. once i was alone i shoved my hands in my jaket's pocket. i felt a box and pulled it out. i opened the box. in jordans hand wrighting it said forever. i slipped on the hand made bracelet and then held my wrist to my chest. i colsed my eyes.
"you're going to make it. i won't alow anyother way."
gabby sat down.
"did cam tell you to watch me?"
"yeah." she said, embarassed.
" i'm fine."
"i know you are. cause you're strong. like you're daddy."
"you knew my dad?"
"we all did. even jordan."
"he didn't tell me that."
"he was a baby."
"do you miss my dad?"
"of course i do." she paused. "he was my cousin."
i looked at her.
"yeah, freaky i know." she laughed without humor.
funny how a thing like this uncovers the truth.
cam sat next to me and gabby looked at him.
"oh. there're sowing him up. he's going to be fine. he has a broken arm."
everyone exhaled. a doctor came out. "you can see him now." the doctor said. we all stood.
"wait. kyllie you go first." cam said.
i nodded and went in.
"hey!" jordan said. i sat down. "check this out." he said, lifting his shirt.
in between in ribs was a line of stiches.
"oh gross!" i laughed. he smiled.
"i think it's pretty cool." he said, with a shrug.
he caught my wrist.
"you found it."
"thanks."
"yeah."
he let go of my hand. he took out his phone sent a text and then put it down. my phone beeped and i read the text.
'i made it, kyllie, love jordan.'
i looked up at him jaws clenched in order to keep from crying. "come here."
"no." i said, standing.
"it's ok to cry."
"i thought i was going to lose you."
i started to cry.
"come here please." he said, tears coming to his eyes.
" what if i lost you. you're all i have."
a tear sild down his face.
"please come here." he wisper-begged.
i sat on his bed, and layed on his good arm.
" i'll always be around. no mater what. i'm sorry, you had to go through this." i sniffed.
"you better be."
"i am, and i'm going to make it up to you."
"just get better. it will mean the world to me."
"already working on it."
"i was so scared."
"i know."
"i have never been that scared in my life ever."
"i love you."
"i love you. forever."
there was a knock on the door, and i sat up.
"YO, little jordan!" jj, luke, josh, and cam said.
they gave him high fives, and gabby squezzed his hand.
"so the doctor, said you can go home tonight." jj said.
"you ready?" josh asked.
"yeah." jordan said.
we all talked untill the doctor came in and told us that jordan could go home. jj and josh helped him off the bed. gabby put on his jaket, cam and luke helped him to the car. we all got in. i told jojo not to wait up, and that he made it, and i'm going to his house. they put jordan in his bed and then left.
"you okay?" i asked.
" yeah. you didn't have to stay." he said.
"yes i di. i need to make sure you get better, so i can kick you're ass for draging me through hell."
"here, kyllie." gabby said, handing me some clothes.
she shut the door. i pulled up my shirt.
"you're going to change in front of me?"
" whoa, slow you're roll pal. you've already seen me with out my shirt." "oh yeah."
i changed, and then got into his bed. "you sure are something else, kyllie." "i'm going to take that as a good thing."
he laughed.
"it is."
"do you relize that i could have been in the car with you?"
"i'm thanking god every second you weren't."
"it's scary how in just a couple of hours you're whole life is threatened to change."
"yeah." he wispered.
"i would never of forgave myself. it would be my fault that you wouldn't get to live you're life. when i woke up, i couldn't remember anything. i kept asking where's kyllie. when the doctor said, who's kyllie, i knew you wheren't in the car with me."
i reached for his hand, and he held on to it as if he where going to slip away. i hope he never does. we fell asleep. the next morning me and gabby stood out side the bathroom door.
"how's it going?" she asked.
"i'm working on it." cam said.
jj went for breakfast, josh went to pick up jordans pain killers, and cam and luke where in the bathroom trying to help jordan take a bath.
"don't let him drown." i said.
"woops!" luke said.
"har har." i said.
"i got it." gabby said, as she went to get the door.
"i'll go to." i said.
"don't you have you're key?" she asked josh.
"nope." he smiled.
"hold it!" jj called, holding a white bag and a pink box.
"you are curently my best friend." i told him taking the box.
"that's nice to hear." he said, with a laugh.
i returned his high five and set the box on the counter. jj and cam came in followed by jordan. once back in his room he logged onto the youtube account. "you're fans are starting to get demanding." he said. i read the comments, and they where not pretty. i got on to my face book.
~ hey guys! i'm sorry it's taking so long, but my music producer jordan got into a car acident. i'll try my best to get up more vids, please bare with me and say a pryer for jordan. thanx!~
i hit post. "look!" jordan said, all of the suden making my heart feel like it was about to flop out of my chest right then and there.
"does that say what i think it says?" i asked.
" yep. dear kyllie im very sorry about jordan. my name is darren james, and i work for CMC records. i was wondering if you and jordan could stop by at say, 4?"
"you think you could do it?"
"yeah."
we met with the guy and he told me he was booked but wanted to try working with me and to come back at the same time tomorrow. me and jordan sat at the bus stop waiting for cam. he took his sling off.
"does it hurt?" i asked, as he carefully streched it.
"no, so i'm thinking thats a good thing." he said, with a little laugh.
i took out a black marker. i softy took his arm and wrote on his orange cast.
' i love you. forever. kyllie.w.'
he smiled.
"i love you too," he said.
he leaned over and kissed my forehead. cam pulled up and we got in.
"glad to see the sling can come off." cam said, as i shut the door.
"me too." jordan said, as i buckled his belt.
"i could do that, you baby me too much."
"sorry."
we both looked out the window as we pulled away. jordan's hand crept towards mine and i grabbed it. his had was warm, and the way his thumb rubbed the back of my hand made me feel all wierded out. could i be falling for jordan price? i looked at him from the corner of my eye. no way, jordan ment way too much too me for me to fall for him.
"i have to go get clothes from my house, cam could you stop by?"
"yeah sure, kid." he said.
"alright make it quick. i gotta get to practice." cam said, once at my house. "i'll just bring jojo's extra car."
"cool."
"jojo?" i called, unlocking the door. no answer.
"come on." i said.
jordan followed me to my room. i grabbed a back pack and started packing clothes, my walet and my chargers. i looked up to see jordan had been watching me.
"don't watch me."
"why?"
"cause it's creepy, you creeper."
he smiled.
" 'kay that's it."
he grabbed my arm as i passed. i turned to face him.
"what's up?"
he pulled me into his arms, bent down to me and pressed his lips to mine. i imeadatly reacted by rapping my arms around him, and kissing him back. i pulled away. the kiss was warm and something i could fall into.
"whoa. this isn't right.”
“what?”
still stund from the kiss we shared. “you’re my best friend. come on.” i said, picking up my bag.
the ride back was spent in a painful scilence.“i’m not going to stop.”
i tightened my grip on the wheel.
“not untill you’re mine.” he said, lowly as he where making a prmide to himself.
he then looked out the window. once we pulled up to the house, i jumped out and headed for the door.
“we gonna talk?”
“no.” i said, compleatly freaked.
“we have to.”
“no we don’t.” i said, shuting his bathroom door.
“open the door kyllie.”
“no.” i said, trying to clam my spining head.
“why?”
i took deep calming breaths.
“kyllie?”
he softly knocked on the door.
“let me in.”
i unlocked the door and sat on the floor with my back against the tub. he opened the door, and looked down at me, as i looked up at him.
“what gives?”
i looked down at my hands. he sat down next to me. he cleared his throat.
“i’m in trouble i’m an addict, i’m addicted to the girl, she’s got my heart tied in a knot and my stomache in a whirl.” he sang.
i threw my head back.
“don’t make me laugh.”
“what’s up ky?”
“i’m confused.”
“about what?”
“that’s it. i don’t know!” i said, frustrated.
“why don’t you lie down.”
i did resting the back of my head on his right leg. he stroked my hair.
“you confused about us?”
i nodded.
“cause?”
“i have problems, i don’t want to drag you down with me.”
“i want to be draged down.”
i sniffed.
“you sure? it’s a pretty dark place.” “you’ll be there?”
“right in the f-ing middle.”
“then there’s no other place i want to be right in the f-ing middle by your side. but you have to let me in.”
i wiped my nose with my sleve as an excuse not to say anything.
“you know. a very wise man once told my older brother, that if you love the person enough you can get over anything.”
“a wise woman once told me, you know the one the wise man was married too? she once said that if you love someone to much, you push them away and you lose them, foever.”
“is that what you’re worried about? that you’ll lose me?”
i nodded.
“i hate to tell you. you’re stuck with me, just like i’m stuck with you, so you might as well just-”
i reached up and pulled his head down, and kissed him. the kiss was warm and soft. not all slopy and demanding, like the guys my old friends dated. he liffted his head.
“i love you.”
“i love you always.”
we smiled and he kissed me again. “diner!” gabby yelled.
we laughed as we both jumped from the sudden loud noise. we both got up. jordan grabbed my hand, kissed me one more time and then we went down stairs.
“well it’s good to see the sling off.” gabby said.
“yeah.” jordan said.
he reached over and put his hand on my leg. i tried not to jump.
“does it hurt?” josh asked.
“nope.” he said, shruging.
he began to make small circles with his thumb. oh for crying out loud! should i like it this darn much?
“thought you guys had practice.” jordan said.
“ we cut it short when we heard that gabby was gonna make dinner.” cam said.
jordan moved his hand higher and i grabbed it when it was mid thigh. the corner of his mouth raised and he took a bite of his food. everyone went in the living room and i stayed in the kitchen with gabby.
"can i ask you something?"
"what's up?"
"how come you didn't come and get me?"
"aunts have more power over second cousins. and besides, would you really want to live with us?"
"yes," i nodded.
" you didn't know about me, i thought it would be better if you where with someone you knew."
"i really don't know jojo."
i heard her take in breath, as i backed out of the kitchen.
i got a deal with the roecord company, gave conserts, and had cd's. i went to the top of the charts. i'm 18, now and am dealing with grown up stuff, like the fact, jordan is curently on one knee holding a ring up to me. wish me luck.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 30.06.2012

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i know there are mistakes, but my computer went all spas on me and i didn't save the fixed story. anyway, here's my latest.