what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

"hey mom." i said going into the kitchen. "hey honey." she said. it was so easy how i could fool her. "rylie's coming over to spend the night is that okay?" i asked. "yeah, tell your dad to through another steak on the grill." she said. i looked out the french doors and saw him fliping a pice of meat. god. "dad, through on another one." i called. "sure thing love." he called. "ew." i said. "what?" my mom asked. "nothing." i said. she looked at me like i was weird. i kissed her cheek and went to the front yard to wait for rylie. "rylie!" i yelled, as her limo pulled up. "Dani!" she yelled, jumping out of the car runing to me. we hugged. I let the butler pass before i spoke. "ready for a party?" i asked. "again?" she asked. rylie was the type of girl that was quite. she never stuck up for herself, and to be honest it pissed me the hell off. joey, her little sister, though is just like me. as long as we pay joey she keeps her mouth shut. i think rylie goes to the parties for me. "come on!" i said, shaking her arms. "we almost got caught last time." rylie said. "yeah well we didn't. rylie this is the time, to live it up drink it down and party till we hit the ground." i said. "i don't know." i said. "grow some balls rylie where going." i said. i turned around and walked into the house. "rylie!" my mom said. i rolled my eyes. "hi, jace." she said. she looked out at my dad and scooted closer to me. "don't worry, he wont do anything to you." i told her. my dad thinks it's cool to melest me. after we ate we said, we where going to bed. we got ready and went to the party. "damn, i'm going to get a beer. want one?" i asked. "yes. and be careful." rylie said. it always seemed like she was worried. "i'm fine." i siad. i went out to the pool area. it took me three seconds to find the bar. "hey give me two beers." i said. "bottle or can?" the bar tender asked. "bottled deffenetly." i said, fliping my blond hair over my shoulder, showing my perfect teeth. he seemed nervous as he gave me the beers. rylie said, boys fall over me all the tmie. she's right. that's one thing about rylie, she always says the truth. "thanks." i said. i went to the party, but rylie decided to not be found. "hey." someone said. i turned. whoa, hottie alert. "hey cutie." i said. "want one?" i asked. "no way, through that shit away, i got the good shit in the pool room." he said. "i don't know." i said, smiling. he smiled, and took me to the pool room. after drinking vodca and getting drunk off my ass i asked the guy what he did. "tattos." he said. "no shit." i said. he pulled out a pipe. "want some?" he asked. "fuck yeah." i said. after i was high he gave me a tatto. "i can't pay you." i said. "there's other ways of payment." he said, looking at my chest. i took off my shirt. he through me onto the pool table. "oh my god!" rylie said, covering her eyes. "hey!" i said. "are you high?" she asked. "yeah," i said. "you got high with out me?" she asked. "i'm sorry." i said, giving her a hug. "ok, get your naked ass off of me." she said. "and you get out of here." she said. the guy rolled off of the table. "damn, your girls guy has a big one." a guy said. "ew!" rylie said. i got a sack of weed from the guys pants. "get dressed." rylie said. "you get dressed!" i said. "i am dressed." rylie said, starting to get my clothes. she got me dressed and we walked out of the room. the guy held me up. "your cute." i told him. "i'm also gay." he said.
XXXXXXXXXX
the next morning i woke up i had no idea where i was. "where the hell am i?" i asked. "where at my dad's." rylie said. i looked over at her. "who the fuck are you?" i asked the guy sitting next to her. "i'm kyler." he said. "oh yeah, your the gay kid." i said. "you know," i said, sitting up. "if you ever want to be turned strait you know where i am." i said. "yeah." he said, nodding. "and what the hell are we doing at your dads?" i asked. i layed on her lap. "i couldn't bring you back to your house you where to drunk."she said. "and you have a tatto." she said. "damn." i said, cloesing my eyes. "it says live it up drink it down and party till you hit the ground." kyler said. "ugh!" i said. i jumped up. "i gotta pee." i said. after i peed we went to rylies house. "ooh, someones toking it up." i said. rylie walked up the stairs. "Joey what the hell are you doing!?" rylie yelled. we ran up the stairs. " uh, experimenting." joey said. "with weed?" she screamed. "and sexual intercoruse." a kid said. "ah, the lies." joey said."wait who the fuck are you?" rylie asked. "oh this is blake." joey said. i came to the door and looked in. "what's going on?" i asked. i looked down and saw a rianbow pipe in joeys hand. "where the hell did you get that pipe?" rylie asked. "that's a dope ass pipe." i said, reaching for it. "dani, what the fuck are you doing, your not suposed to say that. oh thats a pretty dope pipe, lets go toke it up homie." rylie said. i looked at rylie. "can we?" i asked. rylie looked at me and then to joey and blake. she looked out to the drive way, then pushed me, and kyler in the room. " let's smoke this shit man." she said. i took joeys lighter and smoked some.
"alright now kiddies, if a stranger ever offers you drugs, you best be taking that shit. drugs are expensive
these days." i said.
after that i got droped off. i took a shower and changed into a large shirt and shorts. sometimes i wish i had a sister, or brother that way i could have someone to keep me busy, but then if i had a sister dad might touch her. " hey." my dad said, coming to the door. i stiffened. "where's mom?" i asked. "down stairs." he said. he came to me putting his hands on my shoulders. he wispered into my ear. "she leave's to her friends house for a book club. your all mine tonight." he said. he kissed me. i didn't do anything as he shoved his toungue into my mouth. he pulled back. "when i come for you tonight i expect you to go along with what i do." he said. he went down to the living room. and i ran to the bathroom and threw up. "hey mom, can i go with you, to your book club?" i asked. "course." she said. we went to the drug store to get soda, and i picked up a pregnacy test. once i got home i took the test. i sat on the floor and leaned against the tub. i looked down at the test. i saw the pink little plus sign and cryed. i called rylie. "it is 4 in the morning." rylie said. "rylie." i said. "dani are you okay?" she asked. "i need your help." i said. "i'm on my way." she said. five minuets later she came into my bathroom. i sat with my legs to my chest and the test at my feet. "dani, what." she said, looking down. "oh god." she said. she picked up the test and sat on the toilet. she cover her mouth with her hand and looked at it. her eyes filled with tears. "i can't have it." i said, still crying. now she was in full blown trears. "you have to, dani don't do this please." she said. "i have to. what if i have a girl my dad's going to rape her, and if i have a boy he could rape him too." i said. "i can't bring a baby into this house." i said. "i don't want to kill my baby." i said. now i was in full blown tears. rylie put the test on the counter and sat with me. "my dad is abusive, when he finds out he'll kill it by hiting me i'd rather deal with it now before it grows." i said. "i am so sorry that you can't have a chance." i said. "here." rylie said. she pulled out a plastic bag, and gave it to me. "that's a morning after pill, take it and see if it works if not, then i'll take you to the clinic." she said. i hugged her. "rylie, you are so strong, don't let anyone tell you differently." i said. she got up and gave me a cup of water. i took the pill. we both sat on the floor against the bath tub. rylie grabed my hand. "i love you." she said. "i love you." i said. she spent the night with me that night. "ready?" she asked. "you check." i told her. it was the next morning and we were taking another test. she picked it up. "it worked." she said. scilent tears fell down my face. rylie held me. i said goodbye to her and ate food. "are you okay?" my mom asked. "i'm fine." i said. she sat at the table and held my hand. "i know when your upset." she said. "i'm fine." i said. i grabed my bolw of food and went to my room. as if i hadn't already been through enough my dad came in that night and raped me. "rylie." i said, when she answered. "what now." she said. "i need more tests." i said. "dani again?" rylie asked, sounding dissapointed. "just get the test's and i'll explian it." i said. "give me ten minuets." she said, haning up the phone. "so who's the possible dad?" she asked. "my dad." i said. "so that would be like your kid/sibling." she said. "whatever, rylie." i said pulling up my pants. "i brang another pill too." rylie said, pulling out the bag. "stop pacing." i said. " i can't help it." she said. she picked up the test, and screamed. she showed me the test. i screamed and we hugged jumping up and down. "girls?" my mom asked. rylie through the test and pill in the toielt, i slamaed the led shut. "what happened?" my mom asked coming in. "spider." i said. she saw the box on the sink. she looked at me then rylie and then at the box. "what's going on?' she asked. "nothing." i said. "something is going on." she said. "mom, just forget it." i said. "no, there is a pregnacy test on the counter of your bathroom." she said. "i'm going home." rylie said. "don't leave me." i said. "goodnight rylie." my mom said. rylie hugged me and left. my mom stood arms crossed at the door jam. i sat on the toilet. the door opened and shut. "i thought i tought you better then this." she said. " you did." i said. "then why," she couldn't finish the sentence, my dad came in. "what's." he saw the box. "what's that?" he asked. "let me handle this." my mom said. "dani get into the car." she said. i got off of the toilet, and grabed my ajket. we drove to the park and she pulled into a parking space. "who's test is it?" she asked. "mine. rylie isn't like that." i said. "are you." she said. "no." i said. "why would you not use pertection?" she asked. i was quiet. "mom?" i asked. "yes?" she asked. "is dad my real dad?" i asked. she sat there not saying anything. was she really that shocked i'd ask that? i mean how hars is it to say yes. "no," she said. HUH? i looked at her. "how well do you know him?" i asked. "i don't. it was an aranged maraige." she said. "after you where born, my parents told me that, they where having a hard time to pay the bills. My dad's friend from college agreed to pay our way through life, only if i was given to their son." she said. "so you don't know if he is capable of rape?" i asked. "i don't" she said. if it was one thing about my mom she caught on fast. "oh honey!" she said. she pulled me to her. "how long did this happen for?" she asked. "when i was younger he used to just mess around with me. he said, that if i ever told people wouldn't beleive me cause he's such a well liked person." i said. "i would of beleived you dani." she said. "i know. it just seemed wierd telling you so i only told rylie." i said. "well, this will not go undelt with." she said. "baile is throughing a party. can i go. i'll be with rylie." i said. "i don't know." she said. "it will be fine, joey's going to be there." i lied. "okay." my mom said. we drove home and acted like everything was normal. the next day i got dressed. "hey." i said, as i got into the car. "hey girl." she said. the drive to ohio isn't very long when she's driving. once we got to her house, the party planing was out of control. "oh for crying out loud!" bailey yelled. "tyler can you go pick up rylie, with dani?" she asked. "sure." he said. i showed tyler where she lived. i walked half way up the walk, when rylie came running out ewaving. we ran back to the truck. "is joey, going to be okay?" i asked. "yeah." i said. "thanks, dude." i said, once at the party. i grabed rylie's hand and went inside. "your dani right?" a guy asked. "yeah." i said. "there's a game of beer pong about to start wann join?" he asked. "you ok?" i asked, rylie. "yeah, i'll go mingle." she said. "cool." i said. i followed the guy into the kitchen. "yo, this is dani." the guy said. everyone nodded, and the game began. after the game i tryed to find rylie but couldn't. i went up stiars into a family room. i sat on a caouch and layed down. "the party not your scence?" a kid asked. i looked over. "i love to party," i told him. "he had green eyes, and black hair. he sat on the couch infront of mine. "i'm robby." he said. "dani." i said. "oh so your dani the trouble maker." he said. "i'm not a trouble maker." i said. "i mean sure i like to have fun, but who doesn't?" i said my phone buzzed. i read the text from rylie. 'would you be fine here if i left with tyler fro a while?'
i wrote back. "yeah, sure girl have fun, but be careful. xoxo DH. "so where do you live?' i asked. robby looked at me like i was blind. "i live right next door to you." he said. "no way." i said. "yeah, your always with that one girl with blonde hair." he said. "oh, right. rylie." i said. "yeah her." he said. "yeah, she's cool." i said. "so, what do you do for fun?" he asked. "want to go to the kitchen, and make some screwdrivers?" i asked. "what?" he asked. "come on." i said. i grabed his hand and pulled him to the kitchen. i grabed an unopened bottle of vodca. "get the orange juice." i said. "no way i can't just jack his oarange juice." he said. "well i can." i said, grabing a bran new orange jucie container. "get some cups." i said. he grabed two cups and we ran up stairs. after two screwdrivers, each we where having a blast. "oh hell no who jacked my oarange juice?" someone yelled.we laughed our asses off. once we mellowed out i got into the car with robby, cause i have to get back to hollywood. "thanks for the ride." i said. "dani, let me ask you something," he said, coming to my side. "shoot." i said. "why are you talking to me, i mean you never noticed me, before." he said. "well you where at a party that's how i notice everyone." i said. "look, as long as i don't look out my window, and see you plastered to the window with bonoculars i'm good." i said. we laughed. i looked under the rug. "damn, the keys gone, can i spend the night at your place?" i asked. "sure come on." he said. "uh here." he said. he came into the guest bedroom. "here's some of my pjs." he said. "thanks." i said, taking them. he nodded and left. i put the clothes on, but couldn't sleep so i went to robby's room. "i can't sleep." i told him. he sat up and i sat on his bed. "yeah. me either." he said. we ended up telling each
other a lot. "want to hear a secret?" he asked. i nodded. "from the first moment that you moved in next door i had a cruch on you." he said. "i know kinda lame." he said. "no robby, it's cute." i said. i leaned in and kissed him. we where finaly able to sleep. "shit." i said. i jumped out of bed. "what?" robby asked. "i have to go." i said. "want me to walk you home?" he asked. "no, things are kinda out of controll at my house." i siad. i kissed him and ran to my house. "there you are!" my mom yelled. she ran to me and hugged me. "are you ok?" she asked. "yeah, i'm fine." i said. "come on." she said. it started to rain. the sky was an angry gray, and i knew today could be no good. once i was in the kitchen she made me a cup of hot coco. "the cops came last night." she said. "what?" i asked. "i called them." she said. if i had a mouthfull of coco it would of been all over the black counter top. "what?" i asked. "i don't think he should be here." she said. "the cop will be back this after noon, to ask you some questions." she said. i finished my coco, and took a shower. i got ready and went to my window. robby was pulling a shirt over his head. he looked up and smiled, the smile that i love. i waved. he grabed a note book and worte some thing down and then showed me.
'i miss you :(' i grabed a note book and a marker.
' i know :('
'lunch?' he wrote. i nodded and smiled.
' your important to me'
i smiled.
'your so sweet.' i said. a cop car pulled up. robby looked out the window, and then worte something quickly.
' what's going on?'
'family stuff'
'i'm coming over'
'don't, i don't want you involved'
'dani! :('
'i'll be over soon robby.'
'are you okay?'
'yeah.'
i smiled and he waved. i closed my blinds and walked down stairs.
a woman officer was at the door. i came down just as my mom was inviting her in. "this is officer bennet." mom said. i sat down with the officer in the kitchen. "hey dani. how you feeling?' she asked. "fine." i said. "i came here to ask if you want to press charges. you do have to keep in mind that if you do you have to tell the judge and jurry everything that happened." she said. "what happenes if i don't press chages?" i asked. "then he goes back on the streets." she said. "press charges. what ever it takes to not let him walk free." i said. "all right then, i'll send you a copy of the court date." she siad. my mom said goodbye to her and shut the door. "so what's going on?" my mom asked. "i'm pressing charges." i said. "good for you." mom said. "robby!" i siad, jumping up. "who's robby?" mom asked. i ran outside not bothering to shut the door. robby was on his porch watching the car leave. i ran up his walk, and he ran to me. "what's going on?" he asked, taking me into a hug. "can we go inside?' i asked. we got soda's and went to his room, which is when i told him everything. "is he going to jail?" he asked. "we have to go to a court date." i said. "what a pig." he said. "i feel like throwing up." he said. "i didn't mean to make youo sick." i said. he took my chin, so he could look me in the eyes. "you didn't do anything. you have to know that. that man is a monster." he said. i hugged him. " i'm sorry." he said. "i can help you find your real dad." he said. "i don't know anything about him." i said. "well lets go ask your mom." he said. "thanks for being here." i said. he smiled and kissed me. "mom this is robby." i said. she shook his hand. "he's my boyfriend." i said. "oh," she said, perking up. "can i get you guys something to drink?" she asked. "no. what's my dad's name?" i asked. "chase hendricts." she said. "thanks." i said. i took robby into the library down the hall and we got on to the computers, and searched for him. "hey look at this. it says that chace hendricts is in a band called, the heartless." robby said. i sat next to him. "see," robby said. i looked at a picture, of a band performing. chase had the same eyes as me, and they where stuning. is that how other people see me. "it says that they're having a consert at drink n' run," he siad. "when?" i asked. "now." he said. "lets go." i said. "mom, we're going out." i said. "becareful." she said. we went to the club. we got their just in time to hear a song. "alright, we're going to take a break but keep rocking." chase said. "let's go talk to him." robby said. we walked to the lounge. "i need to see chase." i told the body gaurd. "it's really important." i said. "who are you?" a guy asked, walking by. "i need to see chase hendricts, and fast." i said. the guy rolled his eyes and went into the lounge. it wasn't before chase came out. "hey how's it going?" he asked, looking at robby. he looked at me and he froze. "dani?" he asked. "dad?" i asked. a huge grin crossed his face and he pulled me into a hug. he pulled back and held me at arm's length. "look at you!" he said. the grin never left his face. "i knew you would find me." he said. he pulled me into a hug. "hey why don't we get a pizza, and i'll explain everything." he siad. i nodded. he slung a arm around me and we walked to the bar. "Aye, jones, give me a large pie, and a bottle of moutin dew." he said. we sat down at a table. "what do you want to know?" he asked. "i have waited forever till i could talk to you." he said. "start from the begining." i said. " i met your mom at a party. she was a wild one that girl." he said. he smiled in the memory. "the guy that was throughing the party was the guitarist in a band. he had your mom rapped around his finger." he said. "what happened?" robby asked leaning in. "well, your mom needed a ride home, and her boyfriend was a compleat jerk called her a bitch." he said, pausing long enough for jones, to put down the pizza and soda. "i offered to bring her home, and she said, cool. she didn't want to go home so we went to the park and walked by the lake. she told me how the dude treated her and that she was done. we became close in one night. she broke up with the guy, and got with me. after three years, she got pregnant with you. that's when her parents droped the bomb of the aranged mariage." he said. "wow." robby said. "do you love mom?" i asked. "with all my heart. still do. her parents gave her to that guy and i never was able to find you guys. i knew one day you'd find me cause, your my daughter." he said. i smiled when he said my daughter. "i want you to know i never stoped looking for you dani, i even hired an investagator." he said. "well mom's not with the guy anymore." i said. "why?" he asked. "he raped me." i said. he spit out his soda. "excuse me." he said. he got up. i heard a bang, and then he came back. "where's this guy?" he asked. "he's in jail, their working on the court date. "i'm so sorry i couldn't protect you dani." he said. "chase let's go your on now." a guy said. "that can wait, my daughters' here." he said. "dad just go." i said. "are you sure?" he asked. "yeah, we can work this out when your done." i said. "come watch." he said. i followed him. "alright this song is for an amazing girl, her name's dani and she's my everything." he said. i closed my eyes and listed to the lyrics,as he sang.
' i never gave up on finding you, i knew we would meet again. your strong like her, and smart like, me. your going to have grate things in store for you, just wait and see my darling, my dear. for a little girl you've come along way and i apologize, that i never had the chance to be there for you'
after the show he called me up there. i hugged him, and the crowd went wild. "i love you dani." he said. i hugged him tighter not wanting to let go. "i love you dad." i said. after that we went to my house. "mom?" i called. "how was your night out?" she asked. "good, i have some one for you to meet." i said. she came out with a smile. she froze when she saw chase. "fame." he said. she ran to him. he pulled her into a hug and they kissed. "so what's this aoubt dani getting raped?" he asked. "i don't know waht happened, i did everything to keep her safe." she said. they went into the other room. "it's getting late, my parents will start to freak." he said. he kissed me, and left. i went to my window. robby sat down at his desk.
'i hope everything works out'
'yeah me too'
'goodnight'
'night'
i went to bed, and slept with out waking up.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 28.04.2012

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these books mean everything to me cause i was able to wright them with my little sisters.