“Cats Bridge Sheriff's Department.” The woman on the other end of the phone answers in a calm tone. I can tell instantly who she is as I imagine her wrinkled face and fiery red hair.
I run down my hallway towards my bathroom, ignoring the pain from my recent stab wounds.
“Joan! He’s here! He’s in my house!” I scream to the lady on the other end of the phone.
“Abby, is this you?” Joan asks in a frantic voice. I can hear her typing on her keyboard in a hurry. I know she just sent help to me and for a split second I feel a little relieved.
“He killed Luke.” I cry as I lock my bathroom door behind me. My mind is too frantic to think rationally; I just want help.
“Okay, they’ll be right there, Abby. Just hold tight, honey. They will be there.” Joan tries to comfort me.
The entire police department of our small Virginia town knows me because I once dated one of their own.
“Don’t hang up. Don’t leave me.” I beg with sobs.
“I won’t, Abby. I won’t.” She begins.
“I wanted to help him.” I cry to her. “I thought I could help him.”
“You--” Joan starts to say but is cut off with a click. I look at my telephone. It's dead. Nothing happens when I try to make it work.
He cut it off. I know he did. He doesn't want me to call for help. I still feel a little hopeful because I know they're coming for me.
Then, I hear the banging on my bathroom door. He's trying to get in.
I huddle up in my bathtub. Please, someone hurry. I clutch my phone for dear life.
“I’m sorry.” I mumble to myself as I let tears fall.
***
I look at the inside of the sheriff's department building from the snow-covered balcony. It's late winter and freezing outside, but the balcony is the only place I can go to have some peace and quiet.
Everybody on the inside is running around like a chicken with their head cut off. A few of them stop and look at me.
They're looking for me. Is there something that they can't handle themselves?
Not that I feel superior to my brothers and sisters on the force, but where would they be without me?
Two of them approach the balcony fearfully.
“Sir,” Joan passes through the both of them, nearly shoving them aside. Her red hair, turning slightly silver, blows with the wind as she opens the door to the balcony; her wise brown eyes look into mine with compassion, making my body fear what it is I don’t know. Her steps crunch through the pure snow as she approaches me.
I am now full of fear. Something is terribly wrong.
“What is it?” I ask, trying to be nonchalant.
“I’ve already sent out a squad. They should be there now.” Joan says, avoiding the immediate answer.
“What are you talking about?” I ask; my nerves aren’t able to take the suspense.
“There was a break in. I got the call about five minutes ago.” Joan explains.
I let my nerves calm slightly. “Well if that’s it and there’s already another squad there, then why are you telling me?” I ask, still not feeling completely comfortable.
“The call came from Abby.” She blurts. My blood runs cold as soon as Joan says her name. Abby? I wasn't prepared for that.
I bolt past Joan and the other two, going all the way down to the parking lot to get my squad car.
Joan is trying to follow me, probably wanting to talk me out of it, but the only thing that is on my mind right now is getting to Abby.
As soon as I get to my car, I flip my sirens on and speed out of the police headquarters. Even though I'm already speeding down to road, it doesn't seem fast enough; not when I know Abby might be in trouble, or hurt--or worse.
No. I have to stay calm; for Abby’s sake.
When I finally reach Abby’s house, I jump out of my car, barely turning it off.
There are already other squad cars surrounding her house, but I dare not take a sigh of relief until I see her safe.
I know my way around Abby’s house perfectly. Her cherry wood door has been kicked in off of its hinges; an obvious sign of forced entry.
I make my way into the front hallway. Memories come flooding back. I try to push away the memories of the fighting and the confrontation that had separated us nearly two months ago.
The house looks in shambles with most of Abby’s furniture destroyed.
To the right is her living room. Yellow number markers are sitting around the broken coffee table and glass and blood stained carpet.
I feel myself starting to get sick and weak.
As I go farther into her house, my heart stops as I hear the zip of a body bag.
The sound had comes from the left of me; from the kitchen. I make my way there to see other officers piling out of the room and Sal squatting over the blue bag.
Sal is tall and in his mid-forties with sandy blond hair and brown eyes.
“I heard you two had been in an argument.” Sal says in his New York City accent as he stands up to face me. Now knowing it was her body lying there in front of me, I crumple to floor in grief. Sal comes over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder in sympathy.
“Is there anything you wish to say to her?” Sal asks. I am unable to reply through my tears and sobs. After not receiving the reply he wanted, Sal continues. “You should tell her. She’ll hear you out.” He carries on as I cry helplessly.
How could she hear me out? She's gone and will never hear what I have to say again.
What would I even say? I'm sorry? I never stopped loving you? This whole fight was stupid? Plese forgive me?
Did any of that even matter know? The only thing that matters is---
“Alright,” Sal sighs. “You better go tell her. She just left in an ambulance."
"What?" I almost yell through my surprise, halting my tears immediately.
"I heard she had been hiding in the bathtub until Pete arrived. They took her to the hospital immediately. Her injuries weren’t fatal but she was in shock.” Sal says everything in a rush, just like he was talking about any other case.
I bolt upright to stand. “That’s not funny, Sal! You have a sick sense of humor!” I yell at him.
“You don’t know what you have until it’s gone, son.” Sal says and then continues like nothing just happened. “As for this boy here; his name was Luke Bulkski. He was stabbed with what looks like glass from the coffee table. From the blood trail, I think he made it this far trying to stop whoever was after Abby. I will tell you more when I can.”
“Don’t bother. I’m not on the case.” I say over my shoulder as I turn to leave to go to the hospital just as fast as I can.
“But I don’t know that!” Sal yells back at me. “Besides, wouldn’t you like to know about the man who was in Abby’s house? I know I do!”
He is right. I do want to know about the man; mostly because a man in her house other than myself makes me cringe with jealousy but, for now, I will go with the reason that it is for Abby’s protection.
My jealousy can wait until later. The only priority right now is getting to Abby.
I leave my car in the front of the hospital, not bothering to even park as I walk in. I don't have time to talk to the secretary. I'm still in a rush to see Abby. Even though I know she is safe, I have to see for myself. Then maybe I can relax.
I reveal my badge to the lady at the desk. "Where are they?" I ask in my angry, I'm-not-in-the-mood tone.
"Third floor; to the right; can't miss 'em." She answers in her own not in the mood tone.
That's that and I go to the third floor. The secretary was right. As soon as I get off of the elevator I see two of my other officers are standing outside of what must be Abby's door. One of them see me and taps the other.
They both look. It's Pete and Tracy. They must be leading this case.
"I just want to see her." I explain as I approach them.
"She's not even in there right now. She's in surgery." Tracy says. There is understanding in her bitchy as always voice. She has to have attitude being partnered to Pete, who is an even bigger bitch than she is.
I find out what they're waiting on when the doctor comes around the corner to them.
"Owen, we were just about to call you." Dr. Poplin smiles at me.
"I'm still her emergency contact?" I sigh with relief. This means I won't have to play the badge in order to get somewhere.
"We managed to stop the bleeding. She'll be fine but she's asleep. We gave her some medication for the pain."
"Then we'll go back to her house. Owen, call us when she wakes up." Pete orders.
I hardly listen to him because as they're leaving I see nurses bring Abby back to her room. Her light brown hair is matted and tangled and she looks peacefully asleep. I can't take my eyes off of her for many reasons.
I haven't seen her in what feels like so long; I was so worried I never want to let her out of my sight again; she's so beautiful; and I almost forgot what this love felt like.
I wake up and all I know is I'm afraid. Where am I? What happened? I look around. I'm in a bed; the lights are very bright, too bright; the room is small and it's-- it's a hospital room?
Why am I in the hospital? I sit up and pat around the bed, searching for my cell phone. There's somebody lying with there head on my bed.
"Luke?" I begin to whisper his name and shake him. I'm stopped by the familiarity of someone else. The color of his hair, the shade of his skin, his over all scent, it nearly drowns me. It's not Luke's at all; it all belongs to him.
My breath catches in my stomach. I struggle to breath over the anxiety from seeing him. I feel tears fall and I try hard to stop them. Why does he do this to me? I can't be as strong as I want to around him.
My breathing turns into sobs against my will. My leg is warm where his face is resting on my thigh. Trying my best to hold my sobs in and move quietly in order to not wake him, I take my hand and pet Owen's hair.
The warm feeling spread across my body. It feels like my whole body is blushing. My stomach gets warm and butterflies start. Owen. I say his name over and over again in my thought. I so badly want to hug him and embrace him and-- oh this is bad. This is so very bad. I can't be thinking like this.
My crying starts up again and the butterflies escape my stomach. Owen stirs under my hand. He wakes and I let my hand fall back on my thigh.
"Abby?" He sounds so cheerful saying my name. "I'm so glad you're ok!" Suddenly, he wraps his arms around me in a hug. Just as soon as he got so close to me, my breathing struggles again and the tears fall.
Owen pulls away but leaves his arms on my shoulders. "Abby? Are you ok? Does anything hurt? What's wrong?" In a panic Owen starts checking my body for signs of discomfort.
Through my tears, I ask one of the questions that's been nagging at me since I woke up. "Where's Luke?"
***
I drop my arms from Abby's shoulders. "I didn't mean to make you cry Abby Bee." I use my old nickname for her in hopes that it might ease the fact that I'm here instead of Luke.
"Owen," She says, still crying and sobbing. I hate hearing her sound so pitiful, especially when I can't help in anyway. "Where is Luke?"
"Do you not remember anything that happened last night?" I ask, trying to be gentle.
"I remember I was with Luke. That's all before I woke up here." Abby answers with agitation growing in her voice.
"Bee, listen." I try to find the words to explain. How do I tell the girl I love that her new boyfriend is dead? Her crying face makes explaining anything so much harder. I only want to comfort her but I doubt she will let me.
All of a sudden, Pete walks into the room, throwing the door open, trying to look like a hot shot police man.
"I told you to call me when she woke up, Owen." He growls.
"She just woke up. She doesn't remember anything about what happened." I try to whisper and be gentle of Abby's presence.
"She'll remember." Pete says, looking Abby up and down. Usually Pete gets under my skin; however, this time it went deeper. He wasn't only being an annoying ass to me, he was bringing Abby in on it. Nobody is allowed to mess with Abby, especially when I'm around. And especially not when I was so close to losing her. I only hope Luke was there to protect her while I was away wallowing in my self pity.
"What am I supposed to remember?" Abby asks, still crying.
Pete gets closer to Abby's bedside and drops to look her in the eyes. "You were attacked in your home last night. You don't remember that? You called for help from your bathroom."
"Pete, stop it!" I warn him.
"Your friend, Luke, he's dead, Abby. Someone killed him last night, at your home. We need you to remember." Pete says it all emotionless and cold. All of this was just another case for him; another reason for him to act like a big shot.
Abby's eyes look far away from where she was looking at Pete. I could see her eyes turning a gray hue. Abby's tears and sobs stop automatically. Her crying before would be an understatement to what was about to happen.
Abby looks up into Pete's eyes and gives him a piercing glare. "Get out of my room."
Pete freezes. He's never been kicked out on the job. I go to his side and pick him up off of his knees by his shirt collar. "Pete, I'm not saying this as your superior. I'm saying this as the only person she has right now. Get the hell away from her."
Pete leaves with less confidence than when he had come in. I close the door behind him.
As soon as the door clicks shut, Abby's strong attitude deminishes and her light gray eyes shed more tears than I have ever seen.
Not knowing if it would do any good, I sit beside Abby on her bed and pull her face to my shoulder to try to comfort her.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I kept saying as I stroked her hair. Seeing Abby so broken always makes me broken too. Still, a slight part of me feels jealous over Luke. Would she ever cry like this over me? Did she? I try to imagine what Abby did when we broke up but then I want to push the image out of my head as quickly as it had entered.
"It was him wasn't it? He did it. It was him." Abby keeps crying and kept telling me it was him.
I stroke her hair more. "Nobody is going to hurt you. I've got you here Abby Bee. I won't let anyone hurt you again." I kiss her head. No matter what, I will keep my word.
"You aren't going back to your house; especially not alone." Owen commands as I'm checking out of the hospital. The doctor told me that as long as I kept the wound clean as to not get an infection I could go home and schedule a time to get the stitches removed.
I shift my weight and lean against one of the brick pillars. The mental stress is making me exhausted, but I can't admit that in front of Owen. The sun outside is unusually warm for late January. We're waiting outside for someone to pick me up, even though Owen insists on driving me anywhere as long as it's not my house.
"What? Do you want to come back with me? Or better yet, have a round the clock guard in front of my house? I can take care of myself." I snap at him. I would not change my life because of this. I refuse to let him or anyone else force me to watch my back every second.
"You sure proved that." Owen mumbles under his breath. His comment sets me on edge. I'm already upset and irate, I don't need his protective lectures. "If not that, then stay with someone else." I see Owen grimace at his statement, "Hell, I'll even pay for you to stay in a hotel!"
"What makes you think any of those will make me any safer?" If something else is going to happen, I rather I be in my own home and where nobody else would get hurt.
"Abby," Owen stands in front of me and reaches out to touch my arms. "I'm just worried about you. We've been friends far too long to let this stupid argument stop me from worrying about you."
My stomach starts gathering butterflies again. Owen's eyes are looking straight into mine. When he does that I feel like he can read what I'm thinking or feeling. I look away quickly, hiding my blushing face through my hair. I try to collect my strength again. I shouldn't let him in. "I wish you had thought about that then." I say with every ounce of strength I had time to collect, which isn't a lot.
"You're still mad?" Owen asks, seemingly shocked. "Abby, it was one fight, two months ago. I just want to be your friend again."
"Don't act like you know what's happened these two months! If you want to be my friend, go back and take back everything you said to me!" I shout at him, still not facing him because of the tears welling up in my eyes. I'm not mad about the fight itself anymore. What I'm still mad about was everything he said to me when I let go of all the pride I have and tried to apologize. It still makes me cry just thinking about it.
"I will." Owen says, moving my hair out of my face to look at me. I see him out of the corner of my eyes, his face is serious. "I don't know how but I will."
I almost lose my breath again, but the bright red Honda that pulls up in front of us pulls me out of my imagination. "Josiah." I breath a sigh of relief. As soon as I see his face when he gets out of the car and makes his way to me my welled up tears spill over.
Once he reaches me, Josiah puts one of his strong arms around me and places his body in between Owen and me. I'm enveloped in Josiah's large, muscular body, but I peek around soon enough to see him glare at Owen. "Keep away from her and leave her alone." Josiah adds with the glare.
Owen's face twists into anger and confusion. Trying to avoid a fight, I put my hand on Josiah's arm. "Josiah, please, let's go. I have something to tell you." I'm able to muster up more strength this time to stop my crying.
Josiah's understanding eyes look down at me as he nods. He leads me to his flashy car and helps me in. I look out the window at Owen's confused, sad puppy dog face as Josiah drives away.
I didn't notice I was shaking until Josiah turns on the heat. I couldn't bear to tell him that I wasn't cold, but I was scared. It seems he read what I was thinking anyway when he took one of his hands off the steering wheel to hold mine.
***
I throw my pencil at the wall. I just can't concentrate and nothing is helping. Who is Josiah? Were there two other men that Abby had? Just more questions. And how am I going to win back her friendship? All of it just sucks.
I stand up and pace the room. Where did she meet him? I've never seen him around town before. And it's a small town. Where did she meet all these people?
The Abby I knew didn't make friends so easily. I was the only friend she had since she was ten. Even in high school she would be mean to anyone who asked her out.
Especially guys who look like Josiah. Pretty brown hair, same color eyes, I'm-so-perfect smile with an upscale, muscular body and city boy car. Abby would say guys like that act like they "shit rainbows" and she doesn't have patience to deal with pompous fakes.
I kick my chair away from me and it bounces on the wall and slides back. Why am I acting this way? I shouldn't be this jealous or this judgemental. I take a deep breath to calm myself. I need a minute out. I grab my cruiser keys and head down to the funeral home.
I park my car around back and go to the back building. I knock first; knowing the dangers of entering the back building without letting your presence be known. Within seconds, the door swings open and there stands Sal in his surgical gear.
"Hey, kid. How's Abby?" Sal asks from under his surgical mask.
"I don't know." I admit with a queasy feeling in my stomach. Sal removes one of his gloves to pat my back and opens the doorway to invite me inside.
"I'm acting crazy." I admit as soon as I'm inside.
"Most men in love are." Sal answers with his voice full of years of wisdom.
"Two guys, Sal. I think I'm driving myself crazy with jealousy. She won't let me protect her. All the years we've been friends means nothing to her because of this fight." I complain. My mind is all jumbled with confusion and anger.
"You know Abby better than I and I know that Abby nevers thinks she needs help. I think this case is getting to your head. Take a day, go hiking, clear your mind. You'll be yourself again. That's how I get by." Sal advises as he walks over to the table covered with a white cloth. I hadn't realized it when I walked in because it's always there. Now, taking a good look at it, I realize who has to be under the white cloth; Luke.
Sal moves toward the covered body of Abby's deceased boyfriend. He waits for me to regain my composure. When I have my thoughts back where they are supposed to be, I nod to Sal to tell him to continue. After a second, Sal throws back the white cover to reveal the pale body of Luke Bulkski.
He looks peaceful with his eyes closed. I step closer to see him as Sal goes into business as usual. All I can see about him is his dark brown hair and young face. He looks young, too young to die, like Abby.
"As I expected, he was stabbed with glass. There were a few small shards I was able to find inside his wound, but nothing that would be of any help." Sal explains.
"Maybe Pete will find the piece he used as his weapon. Whoever attacked them, he has to be sloppy to not bring a weapon." I respond while not taking my gaze from Luke's face.
"Impulsive." Sal corrects me. I turn to him, my expression showing confusion. "Judging by the force of the wound, I would say he was angry. Maybe he didn't plan on hurting anyone so he didn't need a weapon. Maybe things just got messy."
It takes a minute for Sal's words to wrap around my mind. My look changes from confusion to surprise, and maybe a mix of angry. Two guys were at Abby's home and now one of them is dead. And she just got into another guy's car in front of me earlier today. Could this game of hers have gotten too messy? Perhaps while she was stringing Luke along, one of her other boyfriends couldn't handle it and things got out of control; like when she was stringing me along.
I shake the thoughts out of my head ferociously. No, that is not the Abby I know. That's not who Abby is. All of the facts are just so messed up. "Are you sure it was a man?" I ask, trying to defend Abby.
"Yes, I'm sure." Sal answers definitivly.
None of this felt right. "The only thing I am sure of right now is none of this is Abby's fault." I tell both Sal and Luke. I drop my gaze back to Luke's face. You know that too, don't you? I silently ask the young man. I don't know if it would make him at ease or not, but I also tell him that I will protect Abby.
"Thank you, Luke Bulkski." I say as I wave goodbye to him and Sal to head back to my office. For some reason, my mind feels much more clear now.
***
I'm not sure how long Josiah has been driving and I don't care. At somepoint we have ended up in the state park, driving around aimlessly. Part of me wishes he would never stop driving. I need as long as I can to gain confidence. All the confidence I had before yesterday had been built up by my friends. I didn't deserve to even have that confidence anymore, not that having it was an issue.
Josiah probably noticed that a while back. That's why he's still driving. He's giving me as long as he can to calm myself down. And now we're lost in this beautiful town. I'm able to smile a little bit. Sometimes getting lost is a great feeling.
I have enough strength to look up at Josiah. He takes the clue that the drive can now be over and pulls off into the nearest parking spot. I get out of the car to walk around; Josiah follows me, a little bit surprised that we're walking around in January. The shade from the trees makes it colder, but I don't mind. Because it's so cold there is nobody around, which I prefer.
Josiah follows me silently. When I sit at the picnic table, he sits next to me. I take a deep breath in, trying to keep myself strong.
"Abby," He says. My resolve breaks. I'm in tears again before he can say anything else. Josiah wraps his strong, warm arms around me to comfort me.
I try to tell him about Luke, about what I was told about last night, but nothing can come from my mouth except Luke's name. I keep saying it over and over.
As I keep saying Luke's name, Josiah keeps saying my name until I stop to take a breath.
"Abby, we know." Josiah tells me. "We know about Luke. The police visited mom this morning."
"It was all because of me." I try to say through sobs and tears.
"Abby, listen to me." Josiah grabs my shoulder and turns me towards him, forcing me to look at him. "Abby, we all know Luke loved you very much. You know it too, right? We don't blame you for this."
"I blame myself." I answer him honestly.
Josiah pulls me to his chest and pets my hair to soothe me. "I'll say it a million times every day if I have to. It is not your fault, Abby."
As I cry out into Josiah's chest, I feel tear drops drip onto my hand from above. I want to comfort him as well, but I don't even know how to begin. It's all my fault.
"It's not your fault." Josiah says again. "It's not your fault but I'm going to kill the bastard that did it."
The moon is up as Josiah pulls his car into my driveway of the house that I used to share with Owen. Thoughts like this have been sneaking there way into my head since I saw him at the hospital. I shake my head to try to stop them, but it doesn't work.
When I notice Josiah turn off his car and open his door, I turn to panic. "Where do you think you're going?" I ask harshly.
He looks at me and replies in a calm manner. "I'm not letting you stay here alone."
"You aren't staying here with me!" I try to voice all of the worries going through my head but the only thing my voice could manage was a stammering.
"I'm going to stay the night here. And we're going back to the city police tomorrow." Josiah orders.
"This is my fault." I manage to say through my oncoming tears and sobs. "Let me pay for it, not you. If you-"
"Damn it, Abby!" Joshiah gets out and slams the car door, making my oncoming tears turn into a full on waterfall.
I didn't mean to make him angry. Josiah walks around my front yard for a bit. He would usually go to a quiet place by himself for a bit to calm down, but he probably doesn't even want to let me out of his sight. My gaze shifts to my beautiful, white, two-story house with the front door kicked in. For a minute, I let myself forget all the pain I have inside and day dream about all the fun memories with Owen in that house. Also, I wonder where he is staying now. Just two months ago we were living together and Owen just left the house when he left me.
"Come on, Abby." Josiah says as he opens my car door. He holds is hand out for mine in a gentlemanly way. I hold my hand out and let him help me out of the car. "I at least have to fix your door."
We make our way to my front steps, just outside of my door. Suddenly, I'm afraid. I'm afraid of going into my own house. I don't even know why I'm afraid of my own house, maybe there are just too many reasons.
"You don't have to, Abby. We can stay in a hotel tonight." Josiah puts his hands on my shoulders for comfort. I didn't know I was showing sign of my fear.
"It's my house." I start to cry again. Josiah picks me up in a princess hold and takes me to my front yard and sits beside of me. "It's my house." I say again, this time a little more confident because I'm not at my front door.
"It's okay to be afraid. You aren't the only person in your world, Abby."
"I'm going to the sheriff's department tomorrow." I say as I gain more confidence.
Josiah stands up and shouts down at me. "What!? No, I'm not letting you walk into that psychopath!"
"We've seen how well the city police will help out." I counter act. "Besides, I think you're wrong about him."
"You've seen him one day." Josiah snarls at me. "With all I've seen, you won't change my mind. I'm not letting you crawl back to him."
"I'm not stupid, Josiah. I won't even talk to him." I half heartedly promise.
***
The moon is out as I leave the sherrif's building for the night. I leave my cruiser where it is. I don't have a regular car. When I left the house that belonged to Abby and me, I left everything. For a few days after that, I slept at the station. Now, I rent a little house that's a few block down from the station and I walk to and from work.
The walk home feels longer than ever. I can't get Abby out of my mind. I doubt I'll even be able to sleep. If I can, I'll probably have a dream about her too. It's not like I'm not used to this. After two months of no communication I had finally been able to stop it somewhat.
Is she at home? Is she with Josiah? Is Josiah keeping her safe? Is Josiah able to keep her safe? Is he fixing her door?
I feel the urge to go check on her but I know I shouldn't. I tell myself I'll go in the morning. But what if it's too late?
I already have the route mapped out in my head before I even decide to go. It's about a twenty minute walk, but I know it's worth it, even if everything is alright over there. I probably won't be able to sleep anyway. If I didn't go, I would be worrying about her all night.
All through the town, I recall memories of Abby and me. Everywhere, there is a memory. It almost hurts, but it also feels nice.
When I turn the last corner towards the house, I see the familiar red car in the driveway. For a moment, I'm angry and jealous. I have to remind myself that Abby isn't all mine anymore. As I get closer to the house, I see Abby and that man, Josiah, sitting on Abby's front yard. Not too long later, I see them both get in that red car and drive away.
Confused, I scope out Abby's house. Other than the mess and the kicked in door everything looks normal. An idea strikes me. They already took crime scene photos the first day they were here, but I call the lead investigator to be sure.
"Pete?" I ask, "Are you done with the crime scene at Abby's?" Pete answers a groggy, mumbled "Yeah" to which I reply, "Good, I'm cleaning it up."
I wake up to a bright light shining through my eyelids. Panic grasps my body and I dart up in the bed. Am I in the hospital again?
I look around the room I am in as the memories of the events from the day before recollect to me. The light is coming from an open window, illuminating the large room. The bed I'm in is large enough for two, it is also the only one in the room.
Half of the bed covers are tossed open; Josiah was here with me. I look around the room, only a little more calm than I was.
Josiah is sitting on a sofa across the room, staring at a blank tv screen. He looks at me when I climb out of bed. I can tell from his worrisome look that he hasn't left my side all night.
"Shouldn't you be at work?" I ask.
"I called out." Josiah answers. "I'm going with mother to the funeral home for--" His words trail off, but he doesn't need to finish that sentence for me to know exactly what it is. "I just wanted to make sure you were ok before I left."
"I'm going with you." I state, knowing that I won't take no for an answer. Josiah knows this as well, but it doesn't stop him from trying to persuade me to stay. Against his best efforts, I follow Josiah out of the hotel and to his car.
When we get to mother's house, I almost regret the decision to join them. Mother's face is red and swollen from constant crying. Guilt and sadness press against my chest. I want to run away but I know I must face this. After all, it is my fault. I hold back more oncoming tears as mother embraces me before stepping into the car.
I berate myself during the trip to Sal's office. Why is this ok with everyone? Why do they hug me and console me? It's my fault. It's my fault that Luke is gone and they're being nice to me. I don't know what I want to happen; I know I don't what them to hate me, but isn't that what should happen?
Josiah opens the door for me, pulling me out of my mental scolding. I look past him to the beautiful, white building that looks like it could be a nice family home. However, I know better. The outside is gorgeous, but inside is probably the creepiest place I'll ever be.
I want to crawl back into the car and let them go without me. I want to run away but I know I can't be afraid. Josiah and mother are being strong. Luke was theirs, I virtually took him away, and they're being stronger than I am.
I take Josiah's outstretched hand for support as I stand with them and make my way towards the white building. Be strong, I remind myself over and over again. Be strong.
Josiah opens the door to the funeral home and my strength crumbles. There are four people standing in the hallway just in front of us: Sal, the two deputies from the hospital, and Owen.
**
"It's not like you can't talk case in front of me, Pete." I argue. "I just wanted to talk to Sal, you can pretend like I'm not even here."
"Can we just hurry up and discuss this so you guys can leave?" Sal sighs in frustration. He's moving from room to room, doing little errands. Pete, Tracy, and I are following him every inch.
"What's the rush? I need to speak with the family anyway." Pete says in a matter of fact way. He doesn't think of anything except his job. He doesn't care about how the family will feel coming here. Luke's family has to come to claim his body probably set some funeral arrangements.
Sal avoids him by moving rooms again, we're all following him through the hallway when the door clicks and opens. We probably look like a stupid bunch, staring dumbfounded at the door.
Sal swoops past us, ushering the group of three into the sitting room. It takes a moment for my brain to catch up with what is happening.
The three people; one is an old woman who is probably Luke's mother, the second is Josiah, and the third is Abby. Is Josiah Luke's brother? How does Abby know these people? She walked through the door with her hand and Josiah's clutched together. I'm starting to feel like I don't know anything about Abby anymore.
I turn towards the sitting room. There they are, Josiah is sitting in the middle with his mother on his right and his hand still clinging to Abby's on the left. They still have the looks they walked in with, the glare on Josiah's face and the sadness in Abby's eyes.
I sigh. Why does Josiah look so angry? He has the most beautiful woman I've ever seen clinging to him for dear life. He looks the exact same as when I first saw him, same glare, same clothes even.
A small amount of panic that I do not even deserve to feel rushes through me. I look at Abby's clothes and my fear was realized. She is wearing the same thing too. I know I have no right to feel the anger that I am, but I can't help it.
Josiah slightly turns his gaze to me, not enough to make it obvious for the others but enough for us to be looking at each other. We aren't only looking, we are glaring at one another. I understand now. From the time he walked through that door and saw me, his glare was meant for me. Why? Because I'm Abby's ex?
Abby; what did she tell him about me to make him hate me like this? It doesn't matter. Whatever she said is probably the truth anyway. I look at Abby and all the sadness in her eyes. She is looking at Sal, ignoring my presence and pretending like I don't exist.
Anybody can tell she wants to cry right now. I wonder if I'm the only one who can see how strong she is being.
"We would like to talk to you, if that's ok." Tracy says in a nice voice, entering the room from behind me. The old woman nods her head. I hadn't noticed Sal had started talking to them, let alone stopped. He stands, puts his hand on the woman's shoulder, and walks to me. Sal and I stand outside of the sitting room as Tracy and Pete take Sal's seat.
"Are you ok?" Sal asks. I don't answer, only continue to stare at the girl who used to be mine.
"First of all, what are you doing here Abby?" I hear Pete ask the question that was bouncing through my head. Daggers shoot through Pete from the eyes of the other two from the party.
"She's with me." The old woman states in a straight and clear voice. "That's all."
They're protecting her. Both relief and jealousy fill me. I'm glad someone is there to protect her when I'm not, but I also want to be the one protecting her again.
"Do you remember anything at all yet?" Tracy asks, changing the subject. Every eye is on Abby. She looks away, looking embarrassed and ashamed, as she shakes her head.
When she looks up, her eyes meet mine. Not just by chance, her eyes searched for mine. For minute, things were like they used to be; back in a time when she would get scolded in class and search for my eyes to make her feel better. A slight smile crosses my lips, and she reflects the same smile. Just like it used to be.
Josiah notices and intercepts us. He places his body between our gazes and holds Abby's face in his hands. He must have quietly asked if she was ok because I see Abby nod and give him a small, bland smile.
Pete and Tracy continue to question the group about Luke; basic questions, like if Luke has any known enemies. My mind stays on edge, waiting for anyone to mention the him that Abby told me about in the hospital. For some reason, nobody mentions that other person who seemed to be vital to the case. Abby appeared so sure that he was the one who did it.
Maybe I was wrong. I let the concern slide away from my thoughts as everyone else stands. Pete and Tracy depart the funeral home, getting everything they could for now, and the rest follow Sal to the basement.
I know I have no right to be with them in the room, but I feel the need to be where Abby is when I can. I want to stand close to her, none of that has changed. I want to tell Abby she doesn't have to go in, she doesn't have look, that it will all be ok; but I also know that the only reply I would get is that she has to be strong.
Everyone takes a deep breath as Sal opens the door. Luke is lying peacefully on a table. I keep my eyes on Abby, who keeps her hand on Josiah. I can tell by the way she holds herself, and him, that she is struggling.
"What happened exactly?" Josiah asks in a rough voice; his face and voice show no emotion except anger. Sal looks at the girls for confirmation; except for eyes full of sadness and regret, they show no signs of rejection.
My gaze never leaves Abby, but as Sal begins to explain Luke's cause of death, I begin to truly worry. Abby's face turns pale. I take a step forward and reach out to her. Before I can grab her, Abby stumbles backwards, falling into me.
Texte: All Rights Reseved ©
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 24.04.2012
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For everyone who has every wrote a suspenseful romance novel. I just love to read those.