Liam and I

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PART ONE- THE PAST

Chapter One

I will never forget the day I met Liam.

It was July 4th, and Mom and Dad had decided we were for sure going to the block party that year, even though I promised them I was sick. Jack, my younger brother, wasn’t feeling well either.

Of course, Mom knew both of us too well, and told us we could be sick when we got back from the block party. Until then, we had to be perfectly healthy.

I remember very clearly Mom shouting up at me from the first floor that very morning, “Isabel, if you don’t wake up and eat your breakfast right now I am not going to be happy!”

“Uh! Gee, Mom. I told you I was coming five minutes ago!” my seven-year-old-self complained.

She laughed, “Then why aren’t you down here?”

I grumbled as I headed down the steps, still angry I had given myself up like that. I knew better.

Twenty minutes later, the four of us were ready to go. Mom had made apple pies and had each one of us carry one.

Each house on our street was up kept and clean. Not a single blade of grass was too long or too yellow, and every window was sparkling.

The cars that weren’t parked in driveways and garages were visitors because nobody dared leave their car out on the street.

The faultless way of our neighborhood wasn’t anything new, I’d noticed it all my life. But something about it made be notice it then, and I was not sure what.

It wasn’t the pristine garden Mrs. Clements had in her front lawn or Mr. Bruno’s collection of birdhouses or even Mr. Douglas’ amazing play set he put in for all his grandchildren the previous year.

Halfway down the street, almost directly across from the one, small, empty lot on our block, the crowd of people became thicker and Jack, who was five at the time, was lagging behind.

Dad shouted at Jack to keep up, and little Jack started running forward towards us.

It was almost like it happened in slow motion. I noticed Jack’s shoelace dragging behind him right before his little self went flying through the air. I shouted out as he fell hard on the ground.

The apple pie was smeared across the concrete, but not one of us noticed it. Jack’s arm was twisted around, and we could all clearly see the bone poking at his skin from beneath, almost breaking through.

Mom shouted at me to move back as Dad lifted crying Jack from the sidewalk. Everyone on the block stared at us, and I make eye contact with no one.

To be honest, I was embarrassed my little brother had merely tripped and then broken his arm.

The four of us left the people and the pie behind, and immediately drove the twenty minute drive to the hospital.

Jack cried the whole way, telling all of us how much his arm hurt. Dad and Mom tried to calm him down, but he whined relentlessly.

I stared out the window.

Jack’s cries eventually subsided, and I watched the bright, summer green landscape pass by. Every once in a while, a burst of color would pop up in my vision: red, white, blue, yellow.

When I felt the car slow down, I pulled my eyes away from the window, and stared at Jack’s tear stained face.

He sniffled and turned to me, and at that moment I felt guilty for being embarrassed by him and for ignoring him the entire car ride.

Before I could reach out and take his good hand (his right one), Mom and Dad flung open my and Jack’s doors. They pulled us both out of our car seats and quickly brought us in the emergency room.

I remember the emergency room being scary.

Ambulances rushed across the pavement and sent chills down my spine. My mom carried me while my dad carried Jack.

The nurse at the counter watched us with her creepy blue eyes and nodded her head at ever word Dad said. “Okay,” she finally said. “Go ahead over to that open bed and set him down. It’ll be just a few minutes before someone can get to him.”

We waited by Jack’s side for two hours before any of us said something about the wait. It was my mother. “Excuse me!” she shouted at the nurse who had walked past us for the third time. “Where is someone who can get him a cast?! This is a hospital!”

The nurse smiled sickeningly sweet at Mom, “I’m sorry, ma’am. We are trying our best to get things going around here. All our doctors are real busy helping people who were in a car accident about half and hour ago.”

My mom’s eyes narrowed, “What about the hour and half before that?” She stuck her hands on her hips, “I suggest you find somebody to come and give my kid a freaking cast before I cause you a whole bunch of problems!”

Dad leaned forward and placed a calming hand on Mom’s shoulder, but she just shrugged him off. “Right away, ma’am. I’m on it. While you wait you can go to the cafeteria and get some coffee.”

Before my mom could go off on her again, the nurse walked away.

“She wants to offer us food and drink while my son is here balling his eyes out because he is in extreme pain! I don’t think so! We are definitely going to do…”

I yanked on my mother’s sleeve, “Mommy? I’m hungry.”

Mom laughed and picked me up. “Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry. I should have thought you’d be hungry by now.”

I was seven and definitely too big to be held, but my mom was tired and needed someone to squeeze because she was scared for my brother.

She set me down after a moment, and looked at Dad, “Can you take her to the cafeteria? I don’t think I can leave Jack, honey.”

Dad nodded, he’d always given Mom just what she wanted when we were little. “Let’s go, Izzy.”

I grabbed Dad’s hand and he led me to the cafeteria for a snack.

He bought me a blueberry muffin, milk, and a box of Sour Patch Kids since he knew they were my favorite.

I picked a table by the window and instantly took a bite of my muffin. Dad sat down next to me with a coffee, and absent mindedly stared out the window into the hospital courtyard.

I was silently eating my muffin when a little boy sat across from me and smiled. “Hi.” He said and gazed at me until I felt uncomfortable.

“Hi?” I finally said.

Dad looked at both of us and smiled, “Hi, kiddo.”

“What’s your name?”

I squinted at him. “Well, you’re the one who came up to me, so ain’t I supposed to ask you that.”

“Ain’t isn’t a word, Izzy,” Dad reminded me. He was an English teacher at the junior high.

“I guess so,” he said. “I’m Liam. Now, what’s your name?”

I stuck out my hand like I’d seen Mom and Dad do when they met new people, “I’m Izzy.”

He laughed and I frowned, “That’s a funny name!”

I gaped, “Dad! He’s being mean to me!”

Dad sighed, “I’m sure Liam didn’t mean to be mean, Isabel.”

Liam nodded his head vigorously, “Isabel’s not weird. I like that.”

The three of us just sat there silently for a moment, and didn’t say much at all. Liam finally stood up, “Well, Isabel, it was real nice to meet you, and you too Isabel’s dad.”

My dad chuckled and waved as Liam left the cafeteria. When he rounded the corner and was gone, I looked at my Dad. “He was kind of funny.”

“He was nice, it’s a shame such a young kid has to be in the hospital,” Dad downed the rest of his coffee, and we headed back toward Mom and Jack.

“I’m sure he’ll be going home soon, Dad, just like Jack!” Dad smiled sadly, and gripped my hand as we approached Mom, Jack, and the doctor.

 

 

 

Chapter Two

Three weeks later after the incident, we went to the hospital again to get Jack’s arm checked out. He wasn’t getting the cast off yet, but for whatever reason the doctor said he wanted to see him.

It sounded funny to me, but I went anyways since it was raining, and what was I supposed to do in the rain?

Dad didn’t come this time; it was just Mom, Jack, and I. We waited in the waiting room until our appointment time, 3:45.

I looked through the magazines on the table. I picked up a Sport’s Illustrated magazine and squealed at the half-naked lady on the fourth page. My mom ripped it out of my hands, “It’s just a swimming suit, Izzy, a swimming suit you will never wear,” she assured me.

Our name was finally called and the nurse said I should stay in the waiting room. “You think I’m going to leave my seven year old daughter by herself in a hospital waiting room? You must be related to the nurse I talked to last time!” the young nurse didn’t understand the last comment, but she pointed to the bed my brother was going to be in.

“You can see her from there. You’ll only be twenty feet away,” the nurse reasoned. “The space isn’t big enough for you, your son, your daughter, me, and the doctor.”
“Well, I think you ought to build bigger rooms! How about that fancy idea,” she mumbled. “Alright, Izzy, I need you to stay right here where I can see you, okay? No more magazines because I’m not sure what kind of pictures that got in them. I’ll only be a couple minutes with your brother, then we’ll be going home.”

I nodded, “Okay, Mommy.”

“Good girl,” she kissed my head, and herded Jack toward the awaiting bed.

I sat in my chair swinging my legs back and forth. No one paid much attention to me, I heard Mom every once in a while argue with the doctor about this and that, but none of what she said mattered to me.

I picked up the pen off the table next to me and slowly sounded out the words on the side of it. “Dallas Hospital.”

Once I got board sounding out all the words, I set the pen back where it was, and wandered around the waiting room.

I jump when someone poked me on the arm. “Hiya!”

I turned and stared at the short kid next me. “Who are you?”

“God Almighty, Isabel! We must’ve talked for a good five minutes!” the boy seemed surprised that I didn’t remember him.

I stuck my hands on my hips like I’d seen Mom do, “I don’t talk to strangers!”

“Gee, we ain’t strangers. I’m Liam, remember. We met over there in the cafeteria. You were with your dad eating a blueberry muffin.”

Suddenly, it dawned on me then who I was talking to. I removed my hands from my hips. “Oh, Liam. I know you!” I got excited that I new somebody at the hospital and smiled wide at him.

“Good! Want to come explore with me?” Liam pointed out the doors of the waiting room and into the hospital.

“I don’t know, Liam. That sounds like a bad idea,” I looked over my shoulder at Mom who was still talking to the doctor about Jack.

“Please! I don’t get many visitors!” he begged.

I finally gave in, “Alright, I’ll go, but I got to get back quick, okay!”

“Promise!” Liam grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the waiting room through the swinging double doors.

“Why you wanderin’ around the hospital like this? Don’t they care where you go?” I asked.

Liam shrugged, “I been here a while, they pretty much trust me to hang around my room and the kid center,” he wrinkled his nose when he said ‘kid center’.

“That don’t sound too bad,” I said innocently, not knowing the truth about anything

“Guess not,” he said distracted. “Let’s go to the courtyard!”

I looked through the large window overlooking the courtyard, “What’s out there? Is it boring?”

“No, it’s the most exciting place here!” Liam didn’t give me a chance to say anything before he drug me outside into the hot, sticky, southern air.

He dropped my hand once we got outside, and I chased him to the back of the garden.

Out of breath, I said, “You’re going to kill us both!” Liam just blew me off, and got down on his hands and knees.

He began crawling in to a little whole in a bush, and I followed him immediately, interested in what could possibly be underneath there.

His floppy blonde hair was full of leaves and sticks after we got through the thick of it. Liam sat down, and at the center of the bush, there was a little open area surrounding the stem of the plant.

“Wow!” I exclaimed as I glanced around the interior of the bush. It was the perfect little hiding spot. “How’d you find this?”

Liam smiled at me, “I don’t know, I just came across it a couple days after I met you. Ain’t it cool?”

“Yea! I wish I had a secret hide out at my house!”

Liam frowned and dug his pointer finger into the mulch. “I wish I had a hide out at my house too.”

“This is your house silly!” I shoved his shoulder lightly. “You live here!”

Liam glared at me, “I have a home, and I have parents. I just got to be here a lot, but when the doctors fix me I’ll get to go home.”

Before I could ask Liam why he had to be fixed, and tell him that he seemed fine to me. I heard someone shout my name.

Liam stared at me wide-eyed, “Uh-oh.”

“Yea, uh-oh,” I told Liam to go first, and he scurried out from underneath the bush.

The person called my name again, and I followed him out.

I noticed something gold shining in the bush, but I didn’t take the time to look at it since I had to hurry up and find my worried Mom.

Liam and I ran around the corner, and found the unknown person calling my name. It was a nurse. Specifically the nurse who had promised Mom nothing would happen to me. “Oh thank God!” she shouted when we ran up to her. “You’re Mom about killed me young lady. Why’d you go running off like that?”

Liam spoke up, “Sorry, ma’am, it was my fault. I didn’t know we were gone so long.”

The nurse grinned at Liam, “Oh, go ahead, and run along, Liam. I heard they’re showing Lilo and Stitch at the Kid’s Center!”

Liam glanced at me and wrinkled his nose. I giggled; Liam hated the Kid’s Center.

“Oh, dear Lord child! I am going to kill you!” Mom came running into the courtyard with little Jack on her hip and a stern frown on her face.

“Mommy, I’m sorry, I was playing with Liam.” I snatched up her hand, and played with the ring on her finger.

Mom glared at me, “Who the heck (I pretty positive she didn’t say heck) is Liam?”

“Mom!” I pointed to the bashful boy next me, and my mother’s eyes softened.

“Oh, I see. Hi, Liam, I’m Isabel’s mom,” she stuck her hand out to him like she always did when she was meeting someone new.

Liam took her hand, and shook it. “Hello, ma’am. It’s real nice to meet you.” Liam’s southern charm flowed off his tongue easily, and my mother squeezed his hand.

“You’re a real sweet kid, Liam, and I forgive you for stealing my daughter,” she said the last part teasingly, but Liam gulped.

“Alright, we got to go Izzy. Your father said your grandparents are coming over for dinner tonight, and I haven’t any clue what to make!”

I grabbed her hand, “Okay. Bye, Liam.”

Liam waved good-bye, and said something to the nurse, who laughed and led him in the opposite direction.

As Mom buckled me into my car seat, I realized the gold in the bush was a chunk of Liam’s hair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Three

It wasn’t until four weeks later that Jack finally got his cast off, and I got to go back to the hospital.

This time, Mom had to work late, and Dad was off work because it was one of those random half days where for some reason everyone doesn’t have to be at school all day, including me.

It was the beginning of a new school year; it had just started a little over a week ago. This was Jack’s first year of school, and he wasn’t too keen on it. So any time he didn’t have to go, was a great time.

Last Friday, Mom had informed my brother he was getting his cast off today. Mom told me I had to go with Dad and Jack, but it didn’t bother me since I figured I’d get to see Liam again.

Except, I didn’t.

When we arrived at the hospital, we were immediately ushered in to see the doctor, and he said Jack was definitely getting his cast off today.

Jack smiled and giggled, “Sissy! Sissy! I’m all better!”

I half-grinned and told Jack how exciting it was, but really I was searching for Liam. I was waiting for Liam to come, and take me to our secret hiding spot.

It took a little over an hour for the doctor to take Jack’s cast off, and Liam never showed up.

We left the hospital, the doctor told Jack to be more careful, and that was that.

Dad buckled Jack and me into our car seats and noticed the plain, obvious grimace on my face. “What’s the matter, Izzy?” Dad teased. “Are you going to miss Jack’s cast?”

I crossed my arms over my chest and humphed loudly, informing Dad I was not in the mood to talk about it.

Dad started the car up and back out of our parking spot, leaving the hospital parking lot behind forever.

During the car ride home, I continued to stare out the window with a pout on my face until Dad asked me one more time what was wrong.

“Why wasn’t Liam there?” I finally said after I got over my temper tantrum.

Dad sighed, and his eyes looked tired, “Well, sweetpea, maybe he was just busy.” Something about the way he said those few words made me think my father was a liar or at least just a liar this one time.

It didn’t upset me then, but it upset me later when I found out the truths about hospitals, sickness, death, and divorce. Then, it made me think about what else my parents had lied to me about.

But I never thought that when I was younger.

“Daddy!” Jack’s screeching voice tore me from my deep seven year old thoughts. “Let’s go get ice cream!”

I was ready to be home, but I always knew never to turn down ice cream. Ice cream was a big deal when you were little.

Almost as quickly as the thoughts of Liam came, I forgot about him. Dad didn’t bring him up again because I think he knew I would forget about him, he knew Liam would become something of the past.

I remember digging the spoon into the soft, creamy, strawberry ice cream and smiling up at Dad, thinking I had the best Dad in the world.

I didn’t exactly remember when my perfect parents started to crumble apart, it could have been happening all along or it could have started later.

I didn’t know, and I didn’t ask.

I just dealt with it like everything else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Four

“Mom! You forgot to get me notebooks for class!” I shouted down the hall. “Mrs. Yokley said you had to have notebooks for fourth grade! She said it was important.”

I stomped into the kitchen, and mother made breakfast, pancakes and bacon. “Isabel, you better not shout at me,” she demanded. “I didn’t forget them; I just forgot to give them to you last night. There on the table in the foyer.”
Jack who had just turned seven two days prior bolted into the kitchen. “I’m in second grade!” Jack had started second grade two weeks ago just like I had started fourth grade two weeks ago.

I picked up my backpack, and brought it over to the table. I always had Mom check my homework before I left for school in the morning. It was our little morning ritual.

“Alright, these here are wrong and that one there is wrong too. Just change those and you’re good to go,” she said as she poured the pancake mix onto the skillet.

The sun shone through the windows and the light bounced into my eyes making me rub them. Jack ran around the kitchen like a madman, screaming he wanted pancakes.

When Mom had finished the pancake, she set them on plates and set the plates on the table.

Jack and I took our respective seats across from Mom and Dad’s seats. “Go get your father, Jack,” Mom instructed.

He whined, but finally left to go get Dad. “Anything exciting happening at school today, Izzy?”

“No,” I said as I shoved a large bite of pancake into my awaiting mouth. “I think we are practicing more multiplication tables.”

Mom nodded her head, but said nothing. I guess what I had said wasn’t that interesting.

Jack raced back downstairs after another moment, and said Dad would be down in a minute.

We waited for Dad, but he didn’t come downstairs until we were headed out the door for school. Dad leaned down and kissed our heads, “Be good.”

Mom mumbled, but I heard her, “If you’d have come down earlier, you could have talked to us.”

With that, Mom slammed the door behind us, and ushered is into the car.

I didn’t have to ride in a car seat anymore, but Jack did, and he hated it because it seemed unfair I didn’t have to ride in one.

I rubbed it in his face all the time back then that I didn’t need one.

Mom drove us to school, it felt like we got there sooner than usual, and she left with a quick goodbye.

“Hey!” Jack shouted. “There’s Connor!” he ran off toward his red-haired friend, and left his older sister standing by herself.

During third grade my only two friends, who happened to be twin sisters, moved north to Oklahoma. I was mad at them, but in the end it didn’t matter because I don’t think we were close anyways.

Like I had the previous fourteen days, I wandered the playground searching for anybody to play with.

Most of the kids in the fourth grade were nine, but a couple had already turned ten. I wasn’t part of the small group of ten year olds.

I say by myself for a while before I heard someone behind me say my name. “Isabel?”

My name came out like a question, and I turned around as fast as I could without getting dizzy. “Hi.”

The bald-headed boy smiled, “You remember me? I’m…”

I laughed, “You’re Liam. You look,” I paused, “different.”

Liam stared at me for a moment before he walked over and took the seat next to me on the bench. “You go to school here too?”

“Course I do! What else would I be doing here?” I kicked my blue tennis shoes around in the dirt. “Why ain’t you in the hospital anymore?”

Liam shrugged, “Doctors said they fixed me up.”

“That’s good,” I said simply. What else was I supposed to say?

By this point in time, I was at a place where I knew you only went to the hospital if you were really sick or hurt real bad like Jack was once upon a time. So I figured Liam was the first one, and later I found out I was right.

“Who you got for a teacher?” Liam finally said after a long period of silence.

I waved my hand in the air, “Mrs. Yokley. How about you?”

“Mrs. Smith, I don’t like her that much. She’s mean.” Liam never said another word, and we both just sat there until the bell rang.

He waved goodbye, and I waved back. I headed to my classroom after I hung up my backpack and lunch box on my assigned hook.

Mrs. Yokley bellowed out to the class to take our homework out from last night, and I followed all the instructions about what to do with our homework and so on and so forth.

I sat with Liam at lunch, and we didn’t talk much.

Fourth grade year as a whole wasn’t all that exciting really. Each day ended up being the same thing over and over again.

First I’d get dropped off by Mom, I’d sit with Liam at our bench, we’d head of to our classroom, and we wouldn’t see each other until lunch. Then we would go back to class, learn more things than I thought I ever needed to know, and head home for the day.

The only time our routine ever changed is when Liam didn’t show up to school during the last full week.

I sat at our bench by myself, I missed Liam, but only because I hated sitting by myself. People called me weird.

During lunch, I went to Mrs. Smith’s room despite all the scary stories about her and asked her where Liam was.

Mrs. Smith looked down her nose at me, “Well, how do you expect me to know? He called in sick, I imagine he’s sick.”

I never talked to Mrs. Smith again after that. I also told everyone she boiled cats and ate them for breakfast, but I don’t like to tell people I did that.

The next day, things were back to normal, and when Liam sat down next to me I decided to ask him where he’d been.

As usual Liam raised his shoulders, “I don’t know. Mom said I had to talk to some doctors about some stuff.”

I had turned ten a couple months ago, but it didn’t mean I was any smarter than I was at nine. “Stuff like why your hair falls out?”

Liam cocked his head to the side, and watched me carefully. “It don’t fall out no more, and I hope it stays that way. But I guess you can say something like that.”

His answer didn’t completely satisfy my question, but it was good enough and I left him alone after than.

Things continued as usual the rest of the year.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Five

The summer between fourth and fifth grade year was a hard one for my family, specifically Mom.

At the beginning of the summer, my mother received a call at ten o’clock at night informing her that her mother, Grandma Doon, had just past on from a heart attack. Mom didn’t cry.

During that week, I learned more about death. I learned death was final, death was cruel, death meant I could never talk to, see, or hear that person again. Death meant gone.

It was hard on Mom. Grandma Doon was her only living family left, Mom’s father had died when I was three and her only aunt died when my mother was barely sixteen.

At ten I realized Mom was brave, and I realized I wanted to be just like her.

Throughout the week, funeral arrangements were planned for the Grandma I never talked to. When it came time to go to the funeral, Mom broke down.

I heard her in the bedroom with Dad crying.

Dad was whispering soothing words to her, yet Mom still cried. I remember wondering why she cried now. Why didn’t she cry when she received the call, why not cry when the funeral home called and asked what kind of wood she wanted the casket to be made from, why not cry when I asked her if Grandma Doon was really gone forever? Why not?

I never asked my mother any of those questions; it seemed unfair to bombard her with more stress than she needed.

At the funeral, Mom left us for the podium at the front of the room. Everyone was quiet as they awaited Mom’s speech.

When Mom’s voice filled the area, it was crackly and tired. Her first words were simple, “Death sucks.”

A few chuckled at Mom’s spunk, but I’m sure some were offended. She continued, “When I decided to write this eulogy for my mother, I went to the internet to look up some inspirational quote about death, but I realized, it’s just a bunch of crap,” Mom didn’t say crap, and a few elderly women in the back gasped. “What happened to my mother is going to happen to every one of us in this room at one point or another, some sooner than others,” Mom glanced at the elderly lady in the back, and she cracked a smile.

“I don’t mean to make light of my mother’s death, but I always imagined she’d want me to make her funeral a celebration of her life, not a sad, sappy tragedy. And, I agree with my mother’s reasoning. When I’m in this place myself, I hope my children celebrate my life, and I hope they move past my death even though I know it would be hard.” My mom took a shaky breath, and swallowed hard. “So, I’m here to celebrate my mother’s life, and I’m here to make sure she is never forgotten.”

Before Mom left the podium, she kissed her fingertips and rested them on top of the casket. Her departing words could only be heard from the front row, but they made me notice my mother’s strength, “I love you Mom, and I will never forget you.”

Mom walked off stage, left the room, and we didn’t see her until two hours later.

I don’t know where my mother went or what she did, but whatever it was it helped her move past because when she came back, she did exactly what she promised.

She celebrated her mother’s life.

 

Shortly after Grandma Doon’s death, a Tornado whipped through our hometown in Texas.

The storm sirens blared through town, and the lights went out the minute the wind picked up to a good speed.

I’d lived in Texas since I was born, and I had never had to protect myself from a tornado.

The weather stations had been predicting a F3 tornado bringing heavy rain, strong wind, hail, and flying objects.

The four of us quickly went to the hall bathroom, and my parents set my brother and I into the bathtub with a heavy blanket over us.

Mom and Dad sat next to the tub on the floor, and kept us calm as we heard the steady stream of wind beat on the side of our house.

Dad was telling us about the dog he saw the other day when something scarier than the wind, rain, and hail came.

It was the roar.

A deafening roar tore through town, and I threw my hands over my ears, my brother followed suit.

I felt our home shake, and my parents covered Jack and me with their bodies, shielding us from whatever dangers were outside.

Almost as quickly as the roar came, it was gone.

Dad stood up, and told us to stay put while he went and checked outside.

About five minutes later, he returned and informed us the tornado had done significant damage to the front of the house, but the tornado directly hit the houses a block over.

When Dad said we were allowed to go outside, Jack and I raced toward the front door to see the damage the massive whirlwind of debris had left behind.

There are no words to describe the aftermath of a tornado.

I could have said awful, horrendous, scary, unsettling, but every single one of those words paled in comparison to what the scene actually looked like.

Every house on the block was damaged, shingles, siding, brick, windows, and doors all torn directly from the house and tossed out into the streets.

The front of our home was almost bare, no shingles and no brick. A few of the upstairs windows were busted in, but the door was still attached.

Our front and back yards were a mess! Sticks and pipes were shoved into the mud, and trees were leaning sideways. Leaves and other plants were strewn across the yard, and Mrs. Crawford’s fat, old cat was lying on the sidewalk, feet straight in the air, dead as a doornail.

Jack cried for a while before he calmed himself down, and started investigating the scene more.

Fire trucks, police cars, and ambulances lined the streets helping anyone who asked for it. Our neighbors asked everyone to help search for their dog, which had been missing since he ran when the tornado first hit.

Unfortunately, nobody found the dog and we all assumed he’d been taken by the twister.

Next, the Dawson family begged to borrow my parent’s phones. It was no big deal. The Dawson’s needed to call family and find a place to stay, since there house was one of the few completely flattened.

The rest of that day and all of the next were spent picking up our front yard, backyard, inside of the house. Dad worked on putting the shingles back up, it took him a long time, and the shingles still had to be fixed a year later when we had the money.

I don’t really remember much detail after that. It was a lot of picking up and complaining on my part. After two weeks of clean up, our house was finally livable.

We moved out of the motel we’d been staying in. But after that summer, none of us were ever really the same.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Six

I distinctly remember starting junior high.

Fifth grade was easy, and I remember how old I had felt with all those young, little kids around me. But now, sixth grade meant I was the youngest in the school.

On the first day, the teachers gave us a tour of the school. There wasn’t much else we did that day but talk about the rules, the consequences, and the expectations.

It wasn’t until the end of the day during reading time when I felt someone staring at me. The stare was hot on my back, and I recall the uncomfortable itch you get when you have an uneasy feeling.

After minutes passed, I slowly turned around at met the eyes of the staring boy.

It wasn’t immediately that I recognized him, but I knew he knew me from somewhere because his entire face lit up with a brilliant smile.

When I saw the hearty smile, the floppy blonde hair, and those kind eyes I felt my stomach clench and I started wiggling in my seat.

It was Liam.

I hadn’t seen him since the end of fourth grade. I never gave it much thought as to where he went, but now that he was there, I began to wonder where he could have possibly gone.

I waved at him from across the classroom and he waved back. The girl sitting next to him with her hair in red braids frowned at me and crinkled her nose. She flicked one of her braids over her shoulder and began talking to Liam.

Once his attention was redirected toward someone else, I simply turned away.

Yet, there was burning jealousy in my stomach and I couldn’t explain it. The feeling never came back until I was older, but that was the first time I ever experienced true envy.

 

The next day, Liam walked up to me. “Hiya, Isabel! I haven’t seen you in a real long time, huh?”

I stuck my hands on my hips with an independent attitude, “Yea? Where’d you go? Thought we were friends or something and you didn’t even bother to tell me you were leaving.”

Liam rolled his eyes, “I didn’t plan going to the hospital. I would of told you if I knew where you were livin’.”

I dropped my head and shuffled my feet in the playground rock, “Oh. Well, how was I supposed to know that,” I said defensively.

“You weren’t, but now you do.” Liam smiled, and cocked his head to the side. “You wanna swing or something?”

“I guess we can swing, but I don’t want nobody thinking we’re boyfriend and girlfriend or nothing!” I said matter-of-factly.

Liam laughed loudly, and my cheeks flushed red, “Me either, it’s a good thing we’re just friends.”

I followed Liam over to the swings and we talked the entire recess about everything and nothing.

A minute before the bell rung, Liam looked at me seriously, “Isabel?”

“Yea?” I said slowing my swing down so I could get ready to go inside.

“Do you ever wish you could ever run away?” Liam dropped his gaze to the ground and dug his heel into the dirt.

I shook my head left and right, “No! That would mean I wouldn’t ever be able to see my mom and dad again! Why would you ever want to run away?!” I looked at him, dumbfounded that he could possibly want to leave.

“Aw, I was just wonderin’. It wasn’t serious or nothing.” Liam pursed his lips, “Just forget it, okay?”

I raised my eyebrows right as the bell rang, “Well, I’ll make sure nobody hears about your stupid question, Liam.”

Liam and I raced to the doors of the school, and never stopped being friends.

Until eighth grade year at least.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Seven

April of seventh grade year something bad happened.

It was lunch time. Liam and I were sitting with my friends Katie, Samantha, Joe and his friends Kyle and Jeremy.

Jeremy was teasing us about wearing make up, and about how it made us look like sluts. Usually Liam backed us girls up and told his buddies to lay off when they got too harsh, but Liam was staring at his lunch tray with a disgusted look on his face.

His cheeks were bright red, and he looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks.

“You girls are gonna wear so much make up that us guys won’t even know who you are anymore! You’ll all just be hooker number one, hooker number two, hooker num…”

“Oh shut you face, Jeremy,” I interjected. “We all know you’ll be the only boy without a girlfriend in the entire grade! I mean,” I looked at my friends and laugh, “you do have a face only a mother could love.”

Everyone laughed, except Liam. He rubbed his eyes, and pushed his tray away. “Liam,” I leaned across the table, “you okay? You don’t look all that good. Maybe you should go to the nurse.”

He just shook his head, and mumbled an answer, “I just need some fresh air. You guys want to go outside?”

I knew Liam had been having a rough time lately, and the doctor had told him he was in remission fifth grade year. He was supposed to be better then.

“Alright, I’ll go outside with you,” I sighed and picked up both our trays to throw them away.

“Thanks,” he stood up, and shakily walked out the cafeteria doors. I followed him down the front steps into a small courtyard set aside for the students. Swings and cement benches were the only thing on the grass.

I led Liam over to one of the benches, and sat down. By the time we got there he was breathing heavily and sweating profusely.

His hands shook, and I gaped at him wide-eyed. “Liam, you really need the nurse.”

“Isabel,” he said weakly, “will you just shut up? I’m trying to concentrate here.”

I rolled my eyes, “Concentrate on what? Not passing out?” I said sarcastically.

Liam kind of smiled, and actually nods his head yes. The universe must have had some sick sort of humor because less than a second after he nodded, Liam collapsed onto the bench.

I heard his head hit the cement with a sickening crack, and I darted up off the bench and too his side. “Liam! Please! Oh God!” I looked at the kids standing next to me who were just watching. “Go get help!” I screamed at them.

Liam wasn’t bleeding, but his breaths were shallow and I knew things were about to go from bad to worse.

Teachers ran out onto the courtyard heading straight for the two of us.

I was shouting at Liam to wake the heck up, when one of the teachers pulled me away. “Wait! I have to go with him! His parents are at work an hour away, he can’t be alone!”

The teacher held my shoulder and shook his head no. “I’m sorry, you can’t go, Izzy.”

The sirens from an approaching ambulance broke my hysterical train of thought. “Did you call his parents?”

“Yes, Izzy. You need to stop worrying and go inside. Liam is being taken to the hospital, it’s out of our hands.” The teacher (I can’t remember his name for the life of me) turned me around and pushed me toward the school’s doors.

I looked back over my shoulder, and saw the EMTs load Liam’s limp body onto a stretcher and roll him away into the ambulance.

The school air conditioning hit me at the same time Liam’s ambulance drove away.

 

“Mom? Mom?” I slapped my hands down on my lap as my mom drove me home from school that day. “Did that say anything yet?” I tapped my fingers against the dashboard and nervously hummed a song.

After another ten minutes, my mom spoke up, “Okay, uh huh, thank you. I really appreciate it. Yes, you too.” She hung up the phone.

“So!” I shouted.

“So, they said they can’t reveal any information to us, but I two days you can go up

there and ask permission to visit him. He and his parents have to approve it though.” Mom

turned the car into our driveway.

I grabbed my hair and pulled at it, “They can’t at least tell us if he’s stable or anything? We have to wait two days to see him?!” I snort, “Well, I guess that means he’s not dead, huh?”

“Isabel!” mom scolded. “You can’t talk about people like that.”

I yanked my backpack out of the backseat and carried it inside. “Izzy, can you take out the trash?” Mom asked.

“I have homework, Mom,” I said exasperated.

I stomped to my bedroom and through my backpack against the wall. A loud crash echoed through the silent house, and I screamed in frustration.

I dug my hand into my black over-the-shoulder purse and pulled out the new phone my parents had gotten me less than a month prior.

Quickly, I searched through my contacts and slammed my thumb down on the OK button. The phone rang three times before I heard Mrs. Carlson’s voice. “Hello,” she whispered quietly, her voice shook and I swallowed hard. I had thought Liam was gone.

“Mrs. Carlson,” my voice broke, “Liam?”

Her breath came heavily, “He’s going to be okay, Isabel, but he has to be in the hospital for a few days.” Mrs. Carlson paused, “Maybe even a week.”

“Oh,” I had let out a relieved sigh, and smiled to myself. “Have the doctors said anything yet?”

I took notice of Liam’s voice in the background, “Isabel, I have to go. Liam will call you tomorrow, okay?” Mrs. Carlson sounded tired, so I agreed and ended the conversation without more information.

“Tell Liam I said get better, and that I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” I finished.

“Will do, Isabel, good evening.” Mrs. Carlson hung up the phone and I gazed out the window for a good half hour before I finally began my homework.

Liam was sick again, it was obvious to me then. I didn’t know what I could do for

Him. I didn’t know what I’d do without my best friend.

 

 

Chapter Eight

Later that month, when I was visiting Liam, he had been acting a lot more like himself.

The doctors were weaning him off chemo again, the cancer was backing off. The doctors were guessing that he would go back into remission.

I was still worried, but Liam seemed to be doing just fine with everything. At least that was what he had been telling me for the past four weeks.

“Would you quit looking at me like that?” Liam said in the middle of our conversation.

I shook my head, “Like what?”

“Oh please, stop looking at me like I’m dying tomorrow! I still have plenty of years left.” Liam chewed on his nail and waited for me to respond.

“Seriously, I’m just being a good friend. And I am not looking at you like,” I paused, I had not wanted to say dying, “that.”

Liam shrugged his shoulders, “You know we’re almost done with seventh grade, right?”
I crossed my eyes, “Really? I had no idea!” I teased him, trying to ease us out of the uncomfortable mini-argument.

“Ha ha. I was just trying to be sociable. Besides, be happy, we’re going to be eighth graders next year. Big kids on campus.” Liam sat up straighter. “’Nother round?”

I gave him a funny look before I realized he wasn’t talking to me. “Oh.” I had said dumbly when I saw the nurse behind me.

Liam was due for another round of chemo and I knew he never felt well afterward. “Alrighty, I’m going to go ahead and leave. I’ll see you later, okay?” I stood up and walked toward the doorway.

“Wait,” Liam had called, “when are you coming back?” The worried look on his face made me nervous; like he knew something I didn’t.

“Um, when do you want me to come back?” I asked. “Remember, I can’t drive,” I teased.

Liam looked away, “The sooner the better. I’d miss you if you were gone to long.”

At that moment in time, my stomach flip-flopped and my cheeks flushed cherry red. “Uh, okay,” I fumbled over my words and the nurse by his bed chuckled.

I scurried away, and called Mom. “Mom can you pick me up now? Liam had to go in for a chemo treatment, I didn’t want to hang around that long.”

“Well, I’m busy right now, Izzy, but I’ll call your dad and see if he can pick you up.” Mom hung up the phone and I rubbed my forehead.

Jack had been at baseball practice, so that’s where Dad was. Which meant I went and watched Jack play baseball for two hours and ate crappy nachos.

During Jack’s practice, a group of girls I knew from school were walking by. Alice, the most popular girl in school at the time, was flipping her dark black hair over her shoulder. “Hey, Izzy!” she called at me from the bottom of the bleachers.

I had never really been friends with Alice, but it’s not like I hadn’t wanted to be friends with her. She was popular, and I wished I was popular.

So when she call me, I was surprised. “Me?” I mouthed and pointed at my chest.

Alice rolled her eyes and tapped her heeled flip-flop impatiently, “Duh! I said Izzy didn’t I!”

I nodded eagerly and quickly rushed down the stairs to meet them. “Hey, I heard Liam’s back in the hospital,” she said when I stood in front of her.

“I…uh…” Liam didn’t usually like it when I talked about his hospital stays to classmates. He said he didn’t want people to pity him. It’s not like they did anyways, I’d have to consider Liam pretty popular. “I guess so, yea.”

Alice pursed her lips, “So is it I guess so or yes?”

“Yes,” I said quietly.

“Okay, he can have visitors, right? What room number is he?”

I shook my head, “Wait, you want to visit Liam?!”

“Duh, that’s pretty much what I just said. So, are you going to answer my questions or what?” Alice looked at me expectantly.

“Well, he’s only allowed visitors who are on the list.” I sat down on the bleachers expecting Alice to leave me be.

Instead, Alice continues to stare at me. “You’re on the list, right? I can just come with you!”

“Why do you want to see Liam anyways? I’ve never seen you talk to him at school. Besides he’d kill me if I brought anybody without asking him.” I clap when I see my brother make it to home plate.

“I’ve talked to him plenty. I just promised everybody at school I’d talk to him to see how he’s doing.”

“I can give you his number,” I said sarcastically.

Alice stomps her foot on the dirt, “Listen Izzy, just take me to say hello. If he tells me to leave, I’ll leave.”

“Whatever, fine. He’ll tell you to leave though. I know Liam better than anyone else. Just meet me at the hospital Monday next week and I’ll take you in.” I left before Alice could have even thanked me, not that she would have anyways.

 

I sat on the bench in front of the hospital tapping my foot impatiently. Where was she? I had texted her three o’clock! It was almost three thirty.

I decided to give her five more minutes, and right when I was getting up to leave she walked up to me. “Ready.”

“You were half an hour late!” I exclaimed, clearly agitated.

“Sorry, my hair appointment was pushed back. You know I couldn’t come here without my gold highlights. They’re made with real gold you know!” (I’m pretty sure she didn’t say that but I swear that’s how I remember it).

I turned around and started walking into the hospital. I had already visited Liam two days ago, and I hadn’t told him about Alice. I should have, but I didn’t. I had wanted to see him deny her in front of everybody.

“Whatever, let’s just get this over with.”

We walked up to the front desk, and were lead up to Liam’s room by a nurse. “You girls sisters?” she asked kindly.

I looked at Alice with raised eyebrows. We looked like exact opposites. She had dark hair, brown eyes, creamy skin, and she was short. I, on the other hand, was blonde, blue eyed, and tan. Also I was almost four inches taller than her.

Before we could answer we were in front of Liam’s room, and the nurse was waving good-bye.

Alice smoothed down her already perfect hair, and smothered lip gloss all over her already glossy lips. “Ready?” I asked.

“Mm hm. Let’s go!” I told Alice to stay there while I went in to tell Liam.

I entered the room quietly, “Hey, Liam?” I whispered.

“Isabel? Why are you whispering?” Liam was lying on the hospital bed reading a magazine and drinking some lemonade.

I laughed, “I was just seeing if you were awake. I was actually hoping you were.”

“Why? You didn’t want to see me.” Liam looks at me with his green eyes and I stare back.

“No, I wanted to see you, but I brought you a visitor. She said she was really worried about you. She wanted to let everyone know how you were doing since she had the whole school on speed-dial.” I chewed on the end of my nail.

“Who is it? You know I don’t like people visiting me in the hospital, Isabel!” Liam wasn’t mad, but he wasn’t happy either.

I threw my hands in the air, “I know. I know. She was so stinkin’ persistant!”

“Who was?” Alice was behind me, and I turned around and glared at her.

“I told you to wait outside! I was talking with Liam,” I was angry, and I actually wanted to punch her.

Alice stepped past me toward Liam, “How are you doing, Liam? Everyone has been so worried about you.” Alice looks up at Liam through her eyelashes, “I’ve been worried about you.”

I gagged in the corner, and Liam glared at me, but I just shrugged my shoulders. Clearly he could see this was all fake, and she was obviously trying to use him! For what I didn’t know.

I had expected Liam to ask Alice to leave, but instead he asked her to sit down. My bottom jaw hit the floor, and I pretended to shoot myself in the head with a gun. Liam saw me and glared at me.

He gestured with a nod of his head for me to leave. ‘Are you kidding me!’ I mouthed at him.

Liam didn’t move, and I stood up and noisily left the room.

I was so angry with Liam that I left that day and didn’t visit or answer his calls for two weeks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Nine

I talked to Liam a little bit over the summer, but he spent most of his time with Alice.

A week before school started I visited Liam at his house since he was finally out of the hospital. The chemo was less and less now; the doctors said that he might actually stay in remission now although I didn’t believe it.

In his room were, at least, twenty pictures of him and Alice. I tried to ignore them, but they were always watching me.

“So,” I remember asking, “you going to be there for the first day of eighth grade? We’re the big kids on campus, remember?” I asked jokingly.

Liam laughed, but he wasn’t completely there. He was holding his brand new cell phone in his hand, and he happened to check it every ten seconds.

After a while of me making all the effort, I left his house and didn’t talk to him unless I ran into him around town.

When the first day of school finally came, I got a ride with Katie, Samantha, and Joe. Samantha’s mom offered to drive us to school everyday since she drove past our houses everyday for work.

When Sammy’s mom dropped us off we all ran to our lockers and prepared for the school day.

Katie elbowed me in the ribs and jerked her head to the side.

Even through Liam and I never dated or broke up, I do have to say I consider this my very first heartbreak.

Liam and Alice walked down the hallway hand in hand, and went right past us without saying anything.

Sure, I hadn’t talked to Liam much during the summer, but still! I deserved a hello, or, at least, I thought I did.

The rest of first semester was much the same. Liam and Alice dated consistently, and Liam and I only talked when we had to. I guess you could say we weren’t friends any longer.

I think at some point during eighth grade year Liam stopped chemo all together, and his cancer went into remission again, but I’m not sure. Like I said, we didn’t talk.

It was also during eighth grade year that I tried smoking for the first time.

I only did it because Katie and Joe did it. It wasn’t anything I did seriously; I just did it because it was cool.

Funny, though, that it was the smoking that finally brought Liam and I back together.

It was May, and our eighth grade year was almost over. I hadn’t talked to Liam in months, and I was finally accepting that our friendship was over.

Katie, Sammy, Joe, and I were in the park talking about the school year being over and it being freshman next year.

Katie handed me a cigarette, and Joe lit it for me. I inhaled the smoggy smoke and smiled at the instant buzz I felt.

Suddenly, I heard someone shout my name. I looked over, and saw a blonde haired boy running for me.

“Isabel! What are you doing?!” the boy took the cigarette out of my hand, and threw it on the ground. He ground the beautiful cigarette into the ground, and I frowned at the boy.

“What do you think you are doing? That was my cigarette!” I try to salvage it, but it’s just ashes.

The boy bends down, and stares me in the eyes. It’s then that I realize the boy is Liam. “I think I’m trying to save your butt! What are you now, some kind of idiot, Isabel? God! Why you gotta be so stupid!” Liam glowers at me.

Liam’s words hit my heart, and I don’t look him in the eyes. “What’s it matter to you any how? You stopped caring about me a while ago, Liam. We ain’t friends anymore. You don’t gotta watch out for me.”

“Isabel,” Liam started, “we ain’t ever stopped being friends. I assumed you just wanted to take a break.” The grin that spreads across Liam’s face is contagious, and my mouth twitches into a smile.

I leap forward and hugged Liam, “God, Liam, I hate you so much,” I mutter into his shoulder.

“I know you do, Isabel,” Liam hugged me back, and yanked me to my feet. “Katie, Joe, Sammy, we’ll talk to y’all later!”

It probably wasn’t such a fast make up, but that how I remember it anyhow.

Leaving, I waved good-bye and snatched another cigarette from Katie. “Where we going?” I asked Liam as we walked off.

Liam raised his eyebrows, “Nowhere till you throw that cigarette away. You know that ain’t good for me. You wouldn’t be able to smoke ‘round me anyways.”

“It’s not like we were around each other that much before now,” I mumbled, but Liam didn’t hear.

It turned out, Liam was going to the hospital for a check-up, and I was just the kind of support he needed with him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Ten

Alice and Liam broke up the summer between eighth and ninth grade. Alice broke up with Liam, and Liam was devastated.

I helped him through it, but on the inside I was super happy. I was so tired of Alice hanging around all the time.

Freshman year started and flew by. Nothing important seemed to happen freshman year, well, except Katie moved to New York (the city, gross!).

Liam and I pretty much did everything together.

With everyday that passed, I fell more and more in love with Liam.

Liam didn’t seem to notice my feelings for him, so I didn’t mention them. Liam and I were inseparable, and our other friends sort of fell away.

There were a few rumors around school we were dating, and a couple saying we were long lost siblings.

Neither was true.

Our routine was pretty much the same until we came home from the pool. It was July, and it was hot. Liam had gotten his license two weeks earlier, and he was driving us the city pool.

We swam for hours and hours, and time passed as it usually did with Liam; too quickly.

When Liam drove me home, and dropped me off at my house, my mom and dad waved him over. “Oh God, what could they possibly want?” I had been getting annoyed with my parents lately, and I tried to be away from home as much as possible. Usually, I was with Liam.

“They probably want to tell me how great I am, and how they wish you were more like me.” Liam turned off his old beater car, and walked with me inside.

“Hello,” Liam said in his thick drawl. “Need me for something?”

Mom spoke first. She cleared her throat, “How about you two come over here and sit. Here, right there.”

Dad sat across from us, and Mom sat in between us. I gave Liam a weird look, and he just shrugged.

Dad began, “We, um, know how teenagers are, okay? We were teenagers once. We completely understand that you want to, um, honey?” he looked helplessly at my mom.

“What your father’s trying to say, Izzy, is that you and Liam can spend your time together however you want. We just ask that you wait, you wait until you are married. Okay, sweetheart?”

My face was hot, and I felt warm tears of humiliation leak from my eyes. “I can’t believe you just said that!”

Mom and Dad looked at each other with wide eyes, and both of them tried explaining themselves at the same time.

I glanced at Liam out of the corner of my eye. He was chuckling.

Here I was sitting mortified, and he was simply laughing at the situation. I was mad at all three of them.

Liam spoke up, “You don’t have to worry about that. We’re friends.”

My parents looked at me and I nodded my head vigorously, “Friends.”

Instead of ending the conversation Liam continued on, still laughing, “Besides I could never…” he laughed heartily, “not with Isabel!”

First, I had been embarrassed. Now I was devastated. Let’s just say that Liam was not affiliated with the idea that you can never say something like that to a girl.

Now more tears poured from my eyes, and I sobbed out loud before standing up and running to my room.

I had cried for an hour straight before Mom came into my room, “Honey, I know we shouldn’t have said anything. I realize that now. You have to understand, we were just worried, okay?”

“I’m not crying because of you!” I shouted, and started crying all over again.

Mom rubbed little circles on my back, “Why are you crying then, sweetheart?”

I didn’t really want to tell my mom, about my boy troubles, but it had all come spilling out anyways. “Liam said…” I heaved a loud sigh, “he said I was ugly! He said he could never be with me! He laughed at the idea of us being together, Mom. He thinks I’m a troll!” I sobbed harder, and my body shook.

“Honey, that’s not what he meant. You are beautiful. Gorgeous. Liam was just nervous about talking to us. He didn’t mean to hurt you. He was so worried about you after you ran upstairs. He wanted to talk to you, but Dad sent him home. Said to give you some time.”
I wiped my nose on my pillow, and sniffled. “You’re required to say that I’m beautiful, Mom. It doesn’t count.”

“Well, the thing is I’m being honest. Seriously, you inherited my good looks.” I laughed at Mom’s attempt at humor, and sat up in bed, wiping away the tears.

“I’m hungry,” I finally said.

“Good. Your father’s making burgers.”

“Okay.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter

37

Impressum

Texte: Elaina H
Bildmaterialien: http://www.google.com/imgres?um=1&hl=en&authuser=0&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&tbnid=-lMobtDTxobFaM:&imgrefurl=http://molly-aboveaverage.blogspot.com/2011_09_01_archive.html&docid=NUrOLOXp8wTsiM&imgurl=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_grbbvFLI1Wc/TNfUq5JdCDI/
Lektorat: Elaina H and Lia H
Übersetzung: none
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 21.09.2013

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Dedicated to my sister, Lia. Because I love you.