Favorite Quotes:
How well we communicate is determined not by how well we say things but by how well we are understood. --- Andrew S. Grove
A man would do well to carry a pencil in his pocket, and write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable, and should be secured, because they seldom return. --- Francis Bacon
The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. --- H. T. Leslie
Great minds have purposes, others have wishes. --- Washington Irving
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
"Every day should be passed as if it were to be our last." — Publilius Syrus
"It is only those who never do anything who never make mistakes." — A. Favre
"Whatever else there may be in our nature, responsibility toward truth is one of its attributes." — Arthur Eddington
"The whole secret of existence is to have no fear. Never fear what will become of you, depend on no one. Only the moment you reject all help you are freed." — Buddha
"I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today." — William White
"The feeble tremble before opinion, the foolish defy it, the wise judge it, and the skillful direct it." — Jeanne Roland
"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward." — Vernon Law
"Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it." — Charles SwindollFav
"Love is the irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly." — Robert Frost
"Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence." — Napoleon Bonaparte
Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up depends on the stuff he's made of. --- Josh Billings
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. --- Theodore Roosevelt
Don't argue for other people's weaknesses. Don't argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it - immediately. --- Stephen R. Covey
Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find his right road. --- Dag Hammarskjold
Have you learned lessons only of those who admired you, and were tender with you, and stood aside for you? Have you not learned great lessons from those who rejected you, and braced themselves against you, or disputed the passage with you? --- Walt Whitman
Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though it were his own. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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--- Ray Kroc |
The longer I live, the more firmly convinced I become that the essential factor that lifts one man above his fellows in terms of achievement and success is his greater capacity for self-discipline. --- Ray Kroc
“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” ― Marilyn Monroe
“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening, And live like it's heaven on earth.” ― William W. Purkey
“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.” ― Marilyn Monroe
“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect -and I don't live to be- but before you start pointing fingers... make sure your hands are clean!” ― Bob Marley
“I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.” ― Jimi Hendrix, Jimi Hendrix - Axis: Bold as Love
Introduction:
I will be straight with you. My first kiss wasn't very special, much less my first time. I'm your seemingly average teenager but looks are quiet deceiving are they not? Yes like all we have our secrets that make us stick out so much from others. That we ignore our secrets and those who know them seems to just create an awkward atmosphere for all around. Like all others I like to keep my secrets in the dark. Never know who might stick their nose in the wrong place and ruin another’s life with a snap of someone’s fingers.
See as I write this now I think of all the things that have come rushing into my life and how not all truth will be brought to life for the fact of the matter that I was not in all those places and only know what others have told me. I mean sure I could use my imagination but then that will only twist and bend the light of truth. But you all shall know what I know for is that not the best way to be told a story of this magnitude?
Now my life wasn’t that bad, but nor was it the best. Everything that happens or happened was for the best in some way. Yes it made my life pure hell but if I think back on it, it prepared me for the things to come. I will apologize now for the way the story will jump all over the place for the fact that I write as I remember my life. You may say some of these events are quiet tragic and set off a chain of events. Heartbreak, pain, death, and a torn apart family.
To this day we are fighting to live, and survive, and it always seems the further we get in life the harsher things get, and we get kicked back down. I'm not rich. By far from it but I not downright street poor either. We have luxuries but not the money to live without boats load of stress. But every day I think to myself, at least I have a roof over my head. Not a very cheery thought though but it’s the truth of what has gotten me through life.
But I knew long ago that I would be faced with a rough life. We all know to get something you must give something. It’s the main rule of the business right? Well life is no different. To give a life the world takes one right out of someone’s fingertips. Perhaps a lover or a husband? Maybe an unborn child pays the price for your life. Well sometimes I think my payment came late, because not long after… Just a few years later, my uncle had lost his life, but that is a story for later. But I suffer and I know why. I faced death… And I won.
Quiet a scary thought I know, but even before I was born I fought to live. See I was supposed to be a miscarriage, but thankfully I lived, but once again a story for another time. The point is that I owe life a hefty debt and I slowly have to pay for it. I have yet to grow old yet, but I write this for the fact that I know I will most likely die at a ripe age. Quiet strangely the thought doesn’t scare me as much as I would expect. Yes I will miss all those I have passed, but I know I will see them again. I also am already adjusted to the fact that my death will hurt. But tis the reason I write this near my sixteenth birthday. But this probably will not make it far and the thought saddens me but I will always know I put it out there.
Now, I’ll be honest, I don’t have my mother in my life and surprisingly I’m happy about that. You will find out in the story but, I feel as if I should have added that as to lessen confusion when and if I talk of my father’s girlfriend. No she’s not my mother and I’m glad she’s not. I have a very strong dislike towards her. No she’s not dead or on her death bed. She left us. I do look forward to you hearing why because then you can understand why a child dislikes the person who gave them life.
With my brother I always feel as if he is ungrateful. I sacrifice so he and the family can have things, and my father has it worse when it comes to him. I try telling him that you cannot help those who will not accept the help, or will not help themselves. Those, in both of them, are my brother’s case. He refuses to get help to read and refuses to listen and it only digs our graves deeper because we all pay for his mistakes. Then he can’t even help himself. He is a terrible person when he drinks, and has horrible anger issues but will not admit to it then refuses to admit his mistakes.
My father has always been an anomaly to me when it comes to his thinking. I find we have yet to even really bond. We have different routes of how we do and think of things and have yet to agree on anything literally mutual. Perhaps we see the world differently or one of our eyes is not open, but then again I’d like to think that my eyes are always wide open. Tis this was not true, the point to have written this would have been utterly useless. I think occasionally we all like to close our eyes and just be blind for a moment though.
Now these people in the background, my Uncle Bobby from my dad’s side of the family, my Aunt Marcy, my Uncle Wayne, along with my grandparents from my mother’s side… They all play a part, a very small part, but all these problems and people come together and have created upon me a catastrophe. They all affect others and like dominoes they fall. They too are all included in my life story but they don’t make much of an impression or make a large appearance. They are the small parts that, somehow, started trouble in my ‘paradise’.
Now let me formally introduce myself. Hello, I’m Abigail Leeann Wagner; I go by Gail, Abby, Wolfie, and Nightingail. Most do not know the last one. My beloved gave it to me, and he has only earned and has the right to call me that. Just as he is ‘me Lobo Morte’ and only I call him that. Also for people who are not used to Spanish, translated, it means ‘my Death Wolf’. I found that deep inside I really can love, as he found my heart and broke it from its cage. Now I can’t ever imagine my life without him.
To me he is the most perfect thing that has ever stepped into this world and he’s my fist true love. As a matter of fact we are at this very moment that I write this, we are Engaged. It’s amazing that he broke through my walls and straight into my heart. I know it sounds too soon but hey you don’t live forever and all I know is if I do I want him to be my forever.
I collect porcelain dolls, antiques, and memories. I don’t play many sports for the fact of the clumsiness of myself or a close friend getting hurt, but I love swimming and tennis. My writing tends to be on the morbid side and I laugh when the antagonist catches the protagonist, and sadistic mind games are played on innocent people but yet “The Titanic” and “I Am Legend” make me cry my eyes out. I love anime shows and am a large Pokémon nerd… actually a nerd in general. My favorite relaxing thing to do is lay in bed with some snack and a book.
I am a Libra and proud as can be, and as I say this I can’t wait till my sixteenth birthday. I had gotten a phone and have made plans for my day. God, so much to write and so little time spent on this Earth. But as I promised I will stop this little intro of mine to continue on to the real matter. Just don’t find too much amusement in my life.
Dearly written,
Nightingail.
P.S: Do not cry for me because all this has happened to strengthen me.
~ Chapter One ~
When I was little most things were beyond my reach both literally and metaphorically. My height and strength made me quite dependent on those around me, then of course I followed those people who surrounded me, blindly and without thought of the consequences that were to follow. Now yes it was stupid of me but I was young and easily influenced into things, which to me, was completely innocent.
Now remember though that my life was not always this bad or bad at all. I remember Easter and the cliché kid’s basket along with colored eggs. I remember sitting on the stone of the fireplace under the mantel and the family picture, eating the red off of the end of the matches, or perhaps munching on fish food or Playdo. Yes I was quiet the strange kid. Literally, I was silent a lot of the times. But I have changed from that little girl. Now I prefer and choose my independence because I can.
The way I see it my mind is grown, I am grown. Years have nothing on me, and neither does my immature body. I have grown in my personality, wisdom, strength, and emotionality. I have found love, I have grown another year, and I reach high.
Now back to the past… All goes well until the fights start. I watched my mother beat the shit out of my dad with a flashlight and try to drown him in our pool. I walked in from a friend’s house to find glass all on the floor and my dad’s head bleeding while they lie and say that he “fell”. Now I was a little naïve when I was little, but not stupid… I knew what had happened but didn’t contradict them. These are a few of the bad times for me, besides the times my mother would find a reason to spank, choke, slap, or yell at me.
Now my dad always coped with this for us, I’m sure of it. But once again there were happy times like when my brother and I played with Legos and games, or I went over to a woman I adopted as my grandmother, she even quilted me a cute blanket. Then my birthdays, well they were never great but I always had adults at my parties and never kids. I used to play that game with a balloon… You know where if it touches the ground you lose? Yep, it’s that one. A strange thing is that now, I fear them.
My life has been a lot of cliché moments. Even the golden movie moments, hell I even have a golden boy, subtract the blonde hair though. I have that reunite moment where you run into another’s arms and cry. The little child being taken away from her family moment? Yep you guessed it, been there done that scene. A lot of life's moments are cliché but that doesn't make them any less special. But sometimes it allows us to relate to movies or we just feel lucky to have that heart tugging scene.
Sometimes I felt like I’m trying all for nothing, to fight to live and succeed in everything only to get nowhere, only to end my life years later with nothing to show. I’m to be a shadow in the world who passed by people, to change them for the best, and then to be forgotten. But to say it simply, why fight?
But my life was good up to the age of 9 or so. Around those years I had gotten a boyfriend, had my family, and had it all. Now I will be honest that long ago we had found porn magazines in the tool shed and read them. That was how my first time I had sex. I do believe I was seven years old when that day happened. It didn’t really register with me at the time of what I had given away, that of which the precious innocence I could never had gotten back. Now from what I heard my boyfriend Jeramiah was sleeping with my best friend at the time but I’m never sure. Moved away thankfully before I could find out if it were true or not.
I’ll be honest though that it hurt me to hear that for the fact of that he was my first in everything. First time I was ever stabbed in the back because I know he looked at other girls. It made me angry, made me want to cry, but slowly instead I shut myself down for a while and put a small and weak wall around my heart. He may have been my first of everything but then he was my first betrayal and first enemy.
Now thinking of that reminded me when I first walked in on my parents during sex. Every time I remember I tend to grimace. That day it took them almost all day to find me, almost a whole day as I hid away in my safe area. I don’t think any kid of any origin would want to see their parents in the middle of fucking one another, but it wasn’t as bad as when I saw my brother and my friend going at it when I was about six and him about ten years old; in my old little plastic toy house too, no less.
So honestly I got tired of being stepped on like a stepping stool, and I still remember how my friends described me… Red faced with dark, almost black eyes that twitched, while my nails dug deep and true into my skin. They said when I’m angry, I’m out for blood, and so being smart they usually avoided me. First male to get my wrath… Well I threatened to castrate him then feed it to him whole, while his new girlfriend was tied down and made to watch, and then threatened to skin her alive. Never really found myself very aggressive though. I’m like a lost puppy to those I care about.
But now that I think about all the threats I made when I was young I laugh about it because honestly I remembered how they had a horrified expression on their face and I had no clue what anything I really said, meant. But still I loved how they avoided me from then on… How they never really picked on any other kids or he never really went near a girl with a ten inch pole. To me I found it exceedingly funny. I guess you can say I have a little bit of a twisted and sick humor.
Now that reminds me of the fight my brother was in. He was fighting an old friend of his who had a knife and threatened him. It’s a bit foggy now that I try to remember it since my brother has twisted the story around so much that I’m not sure of anything except a few facts, but I do remember how he was thrown into the thorns of the blackberry bushes and walking out with tiny thin scratches anywhere that skin was exposed. I remember trying to help him but got a rock thrown on my ankle… Then I had to stop my brother from throwing a brick on his neck.
Yeah it seems as if I was always helping someone…
Now someone who could’ve used help was my uncle. Sadly he was murdered and they splurged it all over the internet, newspapers, and T.V news.
Wagner pleads guilty, gets life sentence in husband's killing
By AMY LEIGH WOMACK
The trial for a woman accused of killing and dismembering her husband in 2005 ended abruptly Tuesday when the woman pleaded guilty to murder and concealing a death.
Crystal Mae Wagner, 29, was sentenced to life in prison in accordance with a recommendation from the prosecution and her attorneys.
Wagner’s attorneys struck a plea deal with prosecutors Tuesday morning just as the second day of her trial was scheduled to begin. In exchange for her plea, the prosecution dismissed a theft by taking charge pending against Wagner.
Wagner cried quietly during the plea hearing, but did not speak in her own defense prior to the judge imposing a sentence.
Prosecutor Elizabeth Bobbitt said she received a letter Monday afternoon that Wagner wrote to her boyfriend and co-defendant, 29-year-old Shay Alan Morey. In the letter, Wagner wrote in 2005 about the couple planning and carrying out the murder of her husband, Bobby Gene Wagner.
Franklin J. Hogue, one of Crystal Wagner’s lawyers, said Wagner was ready to discuss a plea deal with the prosecution Tuesday morning even before the prosecution told the defense about the letter.
“Hearing (the testimony) in the courtroom can have a powerful effect on one’s view,” Hogue said.
By pleading guilty with a joint recommendation for sentencing, Wagner avoided a sentence of life without parole, Hogue said.
She faced the death penalty before a February hearing, but prosecutors dropped it in exchange for Wagner waiving her right to a jury trial. At trial, Chief Bibb County Superior Court Judge Martha Christian would have decided Wagner’s fate.
Wagner’s family and friends sat on both sides of the courtroom Tuesday.
Marsha Mathews, Wagner’s aunt, said she was scheduled to testify in her niece’s defense — not because she thinks Wagner is innocent, but to explain why she might have participated in a plan to kill her husband.
“I feel she felt trapped over the years,” said Mathews after the trial.
During the plea hearing, Frank Hogue told the judge that Wagner was abused as a child. The abuse ranged from emotional abuse that left her feeling unwanted and afraid of abandonment to her being locked in her room for days. Hogue also stated that Wagner’s parents were brother and sister.
In opening statements held Monday, prosecutor Elizabeth Bobbitt said Wagner asked Morey to kill her husband so she and Morey could be together. At the time of the killing, Bobby and Crystal Wagner were living with their son and Morey in a motel near Thomaston Road and Interstate 475.
Hogue said Crystal Wagner and Morey met about a year before the killing during a time when Wagner and her husband were separated. She later reunited with her husband, but later was again in a relationship with Morey and they lived together.
At the time of the killing, Bobby Wagner was under the impression that Morey was living in the motel room with the couple and their young son to help his wife, Hogue said.
Wagner suffers from a physical deformity caused by juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, her other attorney, Laura D. Hogue, said Monday.
Bobby Wagner and Morey were friends. In the days prior to the killing, Bobby Wagner tried to get Morey a job at the towing company where he worked, Hogue said.
On Feb. 10, 2005, Bobby Wagner was in the shower when Morey struck him repeatedly on the head. The blows weren’t fatal and Bobby Wagner returned to the bathroom followed by his wife. Crystal Wagner came out and told Morey that her husband was calling the police. Morey went back into the bathroom, where he stabbed Bobby Wagner in the heart, Bobbitt said.
Morey dismembered Wagner’s body after discovering he couldn’t move him, Bobbitt said.
A sheriff’s office crime scene investigator testified Monday that authorities found rope in the motel room and two concrete blocks in the Wagners’ car. Bobbitt said Crystal Wagner and Morey had planned to tie Bobby Wagner to the blocks and dispose of him in a body of water.
Authorities found Bobby Wagner’s remains four days after the killing behind an abandoned house in Twiggs County, testified Lee Weatherby, a GBI crime scene specialist. Wagner’s body was covered by a pile of aluminum hubcaps and cast-iron sinks.
Morey pleaded guilty in 2006 to killing and dismembering Wagner. He was sentenced to life in prison without parole.
Mathews said Bobby and Crystal Wagner’s young son is being raised by Crystal Wagner’s mother.
Information from The Telegraph’s archives was included in this report.
To contact writer Amy Leigh Womack, call 744-4398.
Read more here: http://www.macon.com/2010/03/17/1061650/woman-gets-life-sentence-for-murder.html#storylink=cpy
Birth: Sep. 21, 1972
Bibb County
Georgia, USA
Death: Feb. 10, 2005
Jeffersonville
Twiggs County
Georgia, USA
Bobby was born in Macon to Jack Wagner and Mary Ann Wagner. He joined the Army Reserve and was a supply specialist with the 352nd Maintenance Battalion in Macon and was discharged in 1999. He also worked as a mechanic and tow truck driver.
He is survived by his parents, older brother Jay Wagner and wife Sassie, son Kristopher Jordan (by his former spouse Michelle Cutrer), and son Auston Cole Wagner (by his spouse Crystal Mae Carver).
Bobby was found on Valentines Day dumped a few hundred yards down Georgia highway 18. He had been stabbed in the chest, cut up in the tub of a motel room he was staying in, stuffed into a garbage bag and put into the trunk of a Ford Taurus then dumped.
Two suspects (which include his spouse and a close friend) stand acussed of taking his life.
Burial:
Cremated, Ashes scattered.
Specifically: Ashes scattered in a family plot.
~ Chapter Two ~
Now I think back to how I was so gullible. My Aunt used to threaten to take my food from me every time she saw something she liked. Hell she actually took my food from me a couple of times and I guess that’s how I became chubby. I used to be and am still a little afraid of people taking my food from me so I basically inhale it. I can’t really be blamed for it.
Or sometimes I think of the words I couldn’t say like pinecone or tape measure. I either stutter on tape measure or I couldn’t say pinecone.
Impressum
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 21.10.2014
Alle Rechte vorbehalten
Widmung:
I dedicate this book to those who inspire me, and to
my family and friends that stand strongly loyal by
my side no matter the choices I make. Also to the
The old me, whom I have seemed to lose touch with.
Also to the one very special people in my life who
continue to help me grow into a woman I tend to
indulge in. Love you my wonderful fiancée, Wesley Whitaker. I also
want to thank all those who believe in me and
decide to read any book at all.