The Dare

I ran down the stairs.My hair whipping back and fourth. Josh beeped for the third time. I pushed open the door and ran to his car. There he sat in his black camaro. I froze abruptly as the butterflies colided in my stomach. Josh looked at me impatiently.

"You gonna just stand there or get in?" He asked. I gulped and dashed for his car. I opened the door quickly and sat in the passenger side. I panted. He started the car up and drove off. He looked at me and smiled.

"Are you nervous?" He asked,laughing. I nodded. Today i was starting my first day as a senior. I was going to be the baby of the class since I skipped 2 grades. Josh laid his hand on my knee.

"Its gonna be great. I promise."He said. I gulped again. Why must he do this to me? He acts all nice and as if he liked me out of school but in school its like I never existed. I worked my butt off to be able to skip grades to get out of school earlier and be with him. I nodded,pushing his hand away. He cocked an eyebrow. I rolled my eyes. He pulled in the parking lot of the school. I already saw my best friend Jayce. He skipped to. He was my study buddy and he wanted to be out of school as soon as possible. Who wouldn't?

"Bye." I said flatly. I went to open my door when Josh hit the lock button.

"You have every class with me." He said. I nodded.

"Yeah so?" I asked annoyed. He sighed.

"This isnt goodbye." He said. I groaned.

"It's the same every year Josh. You know that and so do I." I said then pulling the lock up, I walked out of the car. Jayce leaned against the wall of the school. He saw me and smiled. I grinned and ran over to him. Jayce made my mouth water. He had black hair mid length with a bang that swept in front of his hazel eyes. Everything about Jayce was amazing and or hott. But there was one HUGE problem. Jayce was gay. He wasn't like noticbly gay,but he was sadly. He was the popular guy of the school until 8th grade when he 'came out of the closet'. Everyone changed towards him after that. Me and him had been bff's ever since then.

"Hey sexy." I said grinning as he pulled me into a hug. He chuckled pulling away.

"If you get a sex change we'll talk sexyniss." He said playfully. I laughed.

"Look out! It's the fag!" I heard someone yell. I turned. I saw Josh with his friends. He said it. He even pointed. Jayce looked down,clentching his fists. I whirled around.

"Look whose talking. Your the one that checks the guys out in the locker room!" I yelled,glaring. Josh's eyes got wide. All of his friends laughed. He looked at me confused,then with anger.

"Says the Emo whore." He said. My jaw dropped. You never are going to change. I thought to myself. Jayce grabbed my arm and pulled me into the school and down the hallway to our lockers. I punched my locker.

"He's never going to change this is rediculous." I said angrily. I then sw the plastics. Or my and Jayce's names for them, The Bitches and Hoes. Cassandra giggled. Her bottle dyed hair put up in a ponytail.

"Oh theres the little angry cutter. What will she do next?" She said. The 4 girls with her, laughing at her remark. I glared and grabbed my books out of my locker. I walked quickly to my first class. Algebra.Jayce stuck to my side. We walked into the class room. Josh sitting on a desk with people surounding him,Cassandra under his arm.  
Cassy spotted me. She grinned and whispered something in his ear. I rolled my eyes and plopped in my seat. Jayce sat beside me. Josh then walked through the group of people who were giggling. He stood between me and Jayce's desks.

"So i thought I would welcome you two with a little set of..greetings nd rules.." He said. He turned his body to Jayce.

"So me and the guys want you to know that we don't know the language fag like the teachers do so you shouldnt talk to us..at all. Let alone live but ya know.. I cant force you to die." Josh said. The group of people bursted out laughing. My jaw felt like it was going to fall to the ground. How could anyone say that? Jayce was an innocent guy. He just had different likings. Why judge him for it? I was surprised to hear Jayce chuckle. He stood up. Standing tall over Josh. Jayce 6'2 and Josh standing at 6'0.

"I'm sure you don't speak my language cuz yours is deuch bag. Which is understandable. Since you have the whole douche bag and whore group following you around. So thanks for your greeting and 'rules' but I..We don't need them and let me tell you something." Jayce said stepping up closer to Josh.

"You hurt that girl and I'll kick your ass. Shes like a sister to me and I don't want a douche bag like you harrassing her. Now sit your ass down." Jayce said. Josh gulped and nodded.

"Whatever." He mumbled and walked over to his seat. My mouth was practically dislocated. My eyes feeling like they were going to fall out of there sockets. Jayce sat down. Pushing his bang back with his index finger,then looking at me.

"Alex..Sweety...Baby...Honey cakes.." He said. I gave him a nod unable to do anything else due to my shock.

"Shut your mouth it's not attractive." He mumbled. I shut my mouth quickly. I looked forward. Cassy sitting cross legged. She looked at me. Then grinned and mouthed "whore". I rolled my eyes. I would do anything to make her break..just once.

Surprise Me

Jayce waved me to me from the middle row. I smiled. I ran to the seat and sat down.

"how was chemistry?' He asked. I chuckled. He knew I hated that class.

"Screw you." I muttered. I looked at the girl in front of me. I studied the back of her head. I know this sounds creepy but you have to understand. Her hair was black,red,pink,blue, and green. I kinda liked it too. I looked at Jayce and pointed at her. He looked at her and nodded.

"hey you with the hair." He muttered. I looked at him with wide eyes. The girl turned, popping her gum. Jayce's eyes widened. Mine did as well. She was so pretty. Her skin pale and eyes bright green. I looked over at Jayce.

"You mean me correct?" She asked. I smiled. Her accent made me want to ask her to say it again. She had a scotish accent.

"I'm sorry for his rudeness. I'm Alex." I said. She laughed and nodded.

"It's okay I'm Macy." She said smiling. Jayce nodded.

"I'm Jayce." He said flatly. I glared at him. I don't know why his mood towards her suddenly. He leaned back into his chair. His posture looking totally different now. He looked angry. I cocked an eyebrow. Jayce only got mad when he was offended by someone. Not by girls saying hi. Macy tilted her head.

"Have we met before?" She asked Jayce. I looked back and fourth between Jayce and her. He laughed a little, then the scowl returned to his face.

"No." He said flatly. The girl nodded. I looked at Jayce. He pulled out his notepad. He gripped the pen in his palm. I poked him on the shoulder.

'What's wrong?' I mouthed. He shook his head. He started writing. His hand going a hundred miles an hour. He then tore it out of his notebook and folded it and threw it onto my desk. I cocked an eyebrow. Macy looked at me uncomfterably.

'Is it about me?' She asked looking at me sadly. Jayce saw what she mouthed.

"Do me a favor and check my notes from last period. I don't think I got half of what she was saying she talked so quickly." Jayce said. Macy sighed in relief and faced forward. I looked at him. The note in the middle of my desk.

"Read my damn notes." Jayce said angrily. I quickly opened it.

I know her! I dated her briefly in 7th grade. She's a two-faced girl. Don't fall for her niceness. I don't want you to get hurt like I did.

I read. I looked over at Jayce. I cocked an eyebrow. Wouldn't she remember Jayce? I mean he is kinda hard to forget. But...Jayce has changed a lot. He had blonde hair. And he never usually wore all black. I sighed. She did seem nice though. I mean maybe she's changed. I don't want to be all judgemental on the girl. Wait...He dated an older girl. I smirked. How come I never knew and or saw her? I looked at the note confused.

She was older then? I don't understand Jaycee. And how come I never saw her before? I don't understand what the hell has gone on.

I threw it to him. He opened it. Macy eyed it.

"You got most of it. I wrote down some of the topics you missed. Write what you REMEMBER about them and I'll check it over again." I said. The studyhall teacher looked at me.

"Miss Archer. If you have the need to speak so loudly maybe you'd like it better in the principle's office?" She asked annoyed. I gulped.

"I'm sorry it won't happen again." I said. She nodded. The note was already back on my desk as I looked down. I looked over the words.

Yeah she was in ninth. You wouldn't remember her because she went over to scotland for the student exchange program. Plus she had golden brown locks. She was with the bitches and hoes remember?

My eyes got wide. She was the prettiest one out of all of them. She still is. She was to beautiful for words period. I nodded.

It's been awhile hasn't it? Maybe she's different...

I wrote and passed it to Jayce. Macy twirled her hair around her finger. Jayce watched her. She popped a bubble and made some faces as she looked at her homework. She then nodded and wrote on her paper. Jayce smiled. I watched him. He was so giddy right now. I always knew him as being.....gay. I couldn't find another word for it. Was it just this girl that would change it? I smirked. He glared at me. I then had another note hit my desk. I groaned then opened it. My eyes got wide.

Hey, Do you wanna go out with me after school?

-josh

I didn't need the signiture at the end to know it was from Josh. He had the neatest hand writing I had ever seen. Why was he now being nice? His bi-polar actions were starting to annoy me. I liked him a lot but I didn't like the fact that the way he treated me.....changed from when we're alone and at home, to when he's with his friends in school. I looked up. He was in the row behind me. None of his friends having study hall's with him I'm guessing. He looked up from his iPod. He smiled and winked at me. I couldn't help it. A smile came upon my face and heat came to my cheeks. I turned back around. Maybe I could talk to him, about how much this bothers me. Maybe it would make a slight difference. I nodded at my thoughts as I agreed with myself.
yeah, you have to take me home anyway. Not only today either all year mister. If you ditch me and make me walk I'll hurt you. :-)

I folded the paper back up and turned to Josh.

"Here." I muttered. He took it and read it over and smiled. He poked my shoulder. I turned again.

"I wouldn't do that to a girl as pretty as you." He whispered. I chuckled.

"Sureee." I muttered.

"Miss Archer! Do we have a problem? Face forward and stop interupting Mr.Biersack." I rolled my eyes. What was this ladies deal with me? I turned back around and continued with my studies. I sighed. My phone started to vibrate in my pocket. My eyes got wide. I saw other people with there phones out in plain sight. Was it okay? I usually had a different study hall teacher but still she was okay with it. I shrugged and pulled my phone out. Hiding it under the desk.

Joshie- Haha she does NOT like you

I laughed and put my phone back in my pocket. My pocket then vibrated again. I sighed pulling it out again.

Joshie-Hey! Your suppose to talk back. That's rude ya know.

I smirked and put my phone back in my pocket. Maybe it was just earlier...Maybe he was going to act different now. Maybe it was because I was in the younger grades that he acted like that to me, and now that I'm in his senior class he would treat me the same as at home. He just needed to get used to it. I nodded. The bell rang. I sighed in relief. Finally it's over. I grabbed my books and slid them into my purse. I Jayce grabbed my arm but not before Macy.

"Would you maybe want to hang out some time. I haven't been here in a while and practicaly zero people remember me...It's like coming to a new school all over again. And usually your suppose to make new friends right?" She said smiling. Jaycec stood beside me rolling his eyes. I chuckled.

"Yeah you can just text me. (484)841-7871." I said. She nodded, putting it into her phone.

"I will thank you so much." She said smiling and starting walking passed the people clogged at the door. Jayce's grip on my arm tightened.

"What is your problem?" I asked shrugging him off. He sighed.

"I told you not to be friends with her A." He said. I nodded.

"Yes, but you can't choose my friends for me. Your forgetting people change over the years. You did. Why is it so hard to believe that she has to? Your gay now. Why is there a problem? Do you still feel for her or something? I don't get how that works." I said. Jayce walked beside me.

"I'm undecided." He said nervously. I nodded.

"So you might have feelings for her. That's okay." I said. He shook his head.

"No I'm undecided on my orientation Goober." He said. His eyebrows furrowed. My eyes got wide.

"But I thought you were sure." I said. He nodded.

"I never was really.But I was leaning more towards guys so..I thought I was..But certain girls make me uncertain. I think that goes for anyone." He said. I nodded.

"I'm here for you..No matter what your orientation is." I said jokingly. He chuckled and pushed me playfully as we hit the pavement of the parking lot.

"Whatever A. I gotta get home loverss youu." He said hugging me tight. I laughed.

"Love you too." I said turning and walking towards Josh's camaro. I rolled my eyes and walked over to the passenger side. I tried opening the door but it was locked. How convenient. I sighed angrily. I glanced at the back of the car. Cassy and Josh continued sucking on eachothers faces. I shifted from each hip. I started to gag as Cassy moaned silently. I couldn't stop gagging. I then felt my lunch come up my throat and out my mouth and hit the grass in front of the pavement. I finally stopped and wiped my mouth with my sleeve. I turned to see Cassy and Josh both looking at me. Cassy looked at me in disgust.
"She probably saw her reflection in the glass of the window." She muttered. Josh sighed.

"Do you have to leave right now..?" Cassy whined playing with the collar of his shirt. He chuckled.

"Yes I have to leave babe. I'll call you tonight." He said. I felt like gagging again. Cassy pouted then smiled.

"Or..You could come over tonight?" She asked smiling. I smirked as I saw the look that flashed across josh's face for a second. Pure disgust. He kissed her gently.

"I gotta...help Alex with her homework tonight. Sorry. Bye." He said. Cassy groaned.

"Why do you insist on even coperating with her? Oh I forgot..She's your little charity case..but don't worry she is for everyone." She said looking at me smirking. I chuckled.

"Oh yeah that's it. That's why he's driving me home and helping me instead of tending to your skanky needs. You keep telling yourself that he stays for your beuty. But really it's because your his charity case..Not.Me." I said opening the door and sitting in the passengers side. Cassy stepped to the side. Her arms crossed and a scowl on her face. Josh groaned.

"Why did you say that?" He asked angrily. I sighed.

"Becuase of what you did to Jayce today. Because of your ass of behavior in school." I said. He sighed.

"I'm the main man...I like it that way and I liked being there...Once we graduate it will be different Ale boo. I promise." I nodded.

"Just take me home." I said flatly. He cocked an eyebrow.

"But what about pizza?" He asked. I scoffed.

"Oh, are you going to drive to Canada so your friends don't see us eating together? Or are you gonna go get take out and bring it to the car so they don't know about you actually caring about an embarrassment like me? huh? " I said angrily. He groaned.

"Your not an embarrasment Alex." I nodded.

"Oh really?!? Then why don't you sit with me at lunch? Maybe we could eat some pizza then and we talk about the same stuff we do at home. Like comic books." I said with fake excitement. He sighed.

"I can't.." He drownded off. I nodded. The car stopped in front of my house.

"Exactly." I said angrily and opened the door, slamming it and walking up the driveway to my house. Josh groaned.

"Don't be that way Alex." He said. I turned.

"Why don't you talk to me when me, your little embarrassment gives a crap." I said running into the house. Tears coming to my eyes. I opened the door, slamming it behind me.

Watch Me Bleed

Chapter 3


I cried against my pillow softly. I then stood up and walked over to the window. Josh’s car didn’t move. The little part of my head repeated to me “Maybe He’ll Come Up Like In The Seventies Movies.” But then the car pulled away. The tears flowed down my cheeks. Everything that had happened between us meant nothing to him. No one knew about the little things that had happened but us. They were always a secret and ever since I knew him. I was the little secret. I was never good enough for him to jus acknowledge me. When I was ten and he was 11 it was okay because I wasn’t like I am now. I wasn’t this person that didn’t wear any colors that involved anything other then black and dark colors. And it’s him who did this to me. I had never cried before I was 13. Not even a tear had ever left my eyes. I had never cried until the day when everything changed between us... When my heart was broke.....


October 2nd 2008


I waited on the Biersack’s steps. I sighed again and looked at the pink watch that rested on my wrist. It was 4:00 already. He said to meet up with him here at 3:30. I thought to myself. I sighed and pulled my phone out. With the Victoria’s secret phone cover. I looked in my messages to see if he had texted me back. No New Messages. I read. I sighed.

“Joshy.....Where are you..” I said sadly. I yawned slightly. I then saw Josh walking past the tree that was at the corner. I smiled brightly. A frown then crossed my lips as I saw another figure beside him. She was maybe 5’5 with bottle blonde hair. She wore a pink skirt that didn’t even go past her upper knee’s. She wore a black blouse that was unbuttoned a little. It showing the lacy undershirt and bra. My eyebrows furrowed. I looked at her face. She had chunky cheeks but they were just enough, not to much and not to little. Her eyes glittered. Josh continued talking with her and she giggled. They stopped in front of the sidewalk. Neither noticing me sitting on the steps.

“This was fun Joshy.” The girl said. My eyes widened. Only I called him that. He only let me call him that. I felt the anger go through my body. Josh chuckled.

“It was but I got to go.” He said. The girl then spotted me. She grinned. She probably seeing the anger and confusion on my face. She then wrapped her arms around his waist. She then got on her tippy toes and kissed Josh. My jaw dropped. Josh was mine practically. We’d spent every day together this whole summer. He kissed me and held hands with me. What the hell was this? I felt my heart drop as Josh kissed her back. They kissed long and hard then she pulled away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” The girl asked. Josh nodded and kissed her again.

“You bet babe.” He said smiling as he pulled away from her. The girl looked at me and smirked and turned and walked away. Josh turned around and smiled. His smile then faded as he saw me. I felt the tears coming to my eyes. His mouth opened then shut.

“Alex.. I...” He stopped himself. I looked at him sadly. I couldn’t move. And my chest felt like it would cave in at any moment. And I was fine with that. I wouldn’t mind dying because my first love had just done this right before my eyes.

“So the whole thing about you and me being together was just a lie?” I finally managed to say. I stood up. My knees shaking violently. Josh ran over to me, grabbing my hands.

“No, that was just a mistake A. I swear. I love you.” He said pleadingly. I pulled my hands away.

“We were a mistake or what you just did with that girl?” I said the tears then falling down my cheeks. Josh shook his head.

“What happened with me and that girl Alex. You know I care about you.” He said. I scoffed.

“That wasn’t a mistake you meant to do this. You didn’t even try telling her that you almost had a girlfriend but it looks like she is your girlfriend anyway. And you care? You’ve got to be kidding me.” I said. Josh looked at me sadly.

“I...I forgot I’m sorry.” He begged. I shook my head.

“You forgot? You forgot how you fucking told me that I meant everything to you? I bet you told her the same exact bull shit. If you forgot about everything that happened then that shows how much I mean to you....Which is nothing.” I said. He shook his head, pulling me in and kissing my lips. I tried pulling away, it only making him hold me against him harder. He pushed his tongue into my mouth. I cringed, pulling away.

“Don’t touch me or talk to me ever again.” I said the tears going down my cheeks even faster. He looked at me.

“Fine.” He said angrily.

“Don’t believe a fucking word I’ve said. But it’s all true.” He said angrily. I scoffed.

“Your such a fucking liar! You could have pushed her away but you didn’t! Did you invite me to meet up with you here just thinking it would make it easier for me to understand that I can’t be with you?! Did you think I’d run away and just ignore you? Well I’m not that fucking pathetic that I can’t face you.” I screamed. He breathed heavily, the veins in his neck starting to show.

“Your such a fucking whore.” He said angrily. My eyes got wide and I smacked him across the face. Using all the anger and force in my body. I cried harder.

“I’m not a whore. That sad excuse of a girl that you just kissed in front of me is a whore. And I hope to god that she breaks you and you see how bad it feels.” I said. He gritted his teeth and looked at me. I then heard the door to his house open.

“Hey is everything okay out here?” I heard his mom say. Josh gulped looking at me in disgust.

“Yeah, Alex was just leaving.” He said.

“Oh well wouldn’t you like to stay for dinner Alex? Your mom’s planning on coming over anyway.” She said kindly. I couldn’t speak without my voice cracking.

“No she isn’t wanted here or anywheres else.” Josh spat at me. I looked up at him. The tears left my eyes as the anger in my body came back.

“Josh Alexander Biersack! Apologize this instant.” She said angrily. I shook my head.

“All he has to say sorry for is for his sorry excuse for a life.” I spat back and walked across the lawn onto the sidewalk and down to my house. I heard his mom yelling for me. I then started to run. My house finally in view. I ran up the dark brown painted steps and threw the black door open, pulling it shut behind me. I ran across the wooden flooring and up to my room. My feet pounded against the wooden steps. I felt the tears pouring down my cheeks. I pushed my door open and slammed it shut. I cried harder. The anger flowing through me. I then looked at myself in my mirror. The little of eyeliner and mascara I had on was dripping down my lightly tanned cheeks. My light brown hair matted down. My brown eyes watery and dark.

“Your so ugly..”I mumbled to myself in the mirror.

“Why can’t you be like her?”

“WHY CAN’T YOU BE ENOUGH?!” I screamed then slammed my fist against the mirror. It shattering and shards of glass falling on the floor. I screamed in pain as some of the shards hit against my arms leaving small cuts all up and down them. Blood dripping down the cuts and down my arms. I ran to the bathroom. The bones in my fist slightly visible and blood dripping out of my fist profusely.

“Alex?” I heard my mom call up the stairs. 

“MOM!” I screamed in agony as the water ran against my fist, it stingy painfully. She ran up the stairs. She pushed through the bathroom door. Her coat from the hospital still on her shoulders. She looked at my arms and fist, horrified. She opened the cubourd behind the door quickly, grabbing the first aid kit and a towel, wrapping it around my fist. I screamed in pain. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed 911.

“Hello? Yes. Please my daughter she’s covered in cuts and glass is in her wounds. Her fist is cut open I need help please. This is Doctor Archer. Yes that one I need an ambulance quickly please!” She screamed into the phone....


I shivered as the memory went through my mind. I looked down at my fist. A scar that was rigid went across my right fist. I ran to my bed and cried against my pillow. I heard my phone going off in my pocket. I’m Sexy and I Know It rang and I knew who it was...Josh.

Walking On Air

CHAPTER FOUR!!

I pulled the phone up to my ear, wiping the tears away from my cheeks.

“Hello?” Josh’s low voice came through the phone. I gulped and cleared my throat.

“Hi.” I said. I slapped myself in the face mentally when I heard my voice crack. I heard scuffling noises in the background.

“Hey..uh..Are you okay?” I sighed.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I said shakily.

“You aren’t going to hurt yourself again like last time are you?” His words melted into my skin. How could he say that?

“Do you like hurting me? Because lately you’ve been acting like it’s your job too. No I’m not going to hurt myself dammit. Last time that wasn’t supposed to happen. It just happened without me even expecting it.” I said angrily. I heard him breathing shakily. I sat on the window sill, leaning against the cold foggy glass.

“Alex I’m sorry..” I sighed. I said nothing. I couldn’t say anything. I was incapable. I was speechless.

“I really care about you...But I just I can’t let that out yet...Cassy... She’d hurt you. And I’ve hurt you enough.. You don’t need her on your ass more then she already is.” I didn’t know what to say to that. It was sweet but really....stupid at the same time. I breathed out heavily.

“So I’m just your little embarrassment right?” I asked sadly. I heard him chuckle on the other end.

“Believe me your not my embarrassment. I’m protecting you from the douche crowd. If I was friends with you they would hit on you too. I’m who they follow and and the girls would do everything they could to hurt you...They would break you and I don’t want you to get hurt..Like I said before I’ve done enough damage...” He said sadly. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks and the smile spread across my lips.

“Okay.” Is all I could say. I couldn’t tell him what I wanted to. I couldn’t say the three words I wanted to say to him so badly.

“So your not mad at me anymore?” He asked. I chuckled.

“No I’m not mad at you anymore.” I said. He laughed.

“Good...You wanna come over? We haven’t hung out in a long time.” He said. I smiled brightly.
“Yeah I’ll be over in 5.” I said and hung up the phone. I pulled off my clothes from today and grabbed my black v-neck and bright blue undershirt. Pulling them on quickly then pulling on my grey skinnies. I ran down the stairs and pulled on my black boots and ran out the door. I walked down the pathway of our house and onto the sidewalk. I looked both ways then crossed and walked further down the sidewalk. Josh’s house was a block and a half from my house. I saw Josh’s house it wasn’t that far away. His mom and dad at work most likely. I then heard loud music. Ke$ha blow was blaring out of the speakers of a red honda. I looked at the license plate and froze. It said CASAY in bold letters. I gulped. The car slowed down as it came to being right beside me. The windows rolled down and Cassy looked out of the drivers side window. She looked at me in disgust. Her followers resided in the back seat.

“Hey what do you call an emo whore covered in vanilla milkshake?” Cassy asked her friends. I froze. She brought a large cup that had Mcdonalds on it and smiled.

“A swallower.” She said and pulled the top of and through the cup at me. Vanilla milk shake covered my face,chest and stomach. The girls in the car laughed as the cup fell off my body and to the ground.

“Don’t know why and guy would mess with a fat ass like you anyway. Take this as a favor from me. I’m covering your face up from the world.” She said laughing along with the girls in the back. She then waved and drove away. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. It was to far to go home. I needed someone to make it all okay.. I ran over to Josh’s house and down the pathway and up the steps. I knocked on the door, sniveling. The door opened quickly. A smile on Josh’s face.

“Hey se-...What the hell happened to you?” He asked, pulling me inside. I sniveled the tears running down my cheeks.

“Your slut of a girlfriend.” I said through snivels. He pulled me up the stairs. Vanilla milkshake dripping on each step and on the carpeted hallway to his room on the far left. He pulled me in to the bathroom and pulled a towel off the shower curtain and wiped it across my face gently. I closed my eyes. The tears slowing down by now.

“It’s all in your hair babe.” I looked at him. Did he just call me babe? I questioned in my head.

“You can go ahead and take a shower. I’ll put your clothes in the washer.” He said and stepped out and shutting the door lightly. I smiled lightly then pulled my clothes off setting them on the counter of the bathroom sinks. I turned the shower on and stepped into the shower. The water hitting against my sticky body. I looked down for shampoo and soap. I chuckled. What are you going to find in a guys shower? I asked to myself in amusement. I looked at the bottles of Axe shampoo and conditioner and body wash. I chuckled and put the shampoo in my hair. The soap dripping down my body onto the black tiling of the tan shower. I then looked for a washcloth or something. Nothing but one scrubber and I’m guessing that’s the one Josh used. I thought for a moment. Should I? I thought then shrugged.

“Screw it. Why not.” I said aloud and grabbed the Axe body wash bottle and the scrubber and poured some of the soap onto the scrubber. I then washed over my body scrubbing my tummy and face where 85% of the milkshake had landed. I washed all the soap off. My body finally clean and turned the shower off. I grabbed the towel that was on the side and dried myself off. I looked at the clothes he had set out for me. My bra and underwear were still there but my shirt and pants weren’t. Was he serious? I looked at the shirt and shorts he had laid out for me. It was a black hanes tanketop like thing and basketball shorts. I shrugged and pulled my clothing on and looked at myself in the mirror. My black hair hung down to chest. It curling at the tips. I sighed and opened the door slowly and stepped out. Turning the light and fan off. Josh laid on his bed, the tv on and his cellphone in his hands. He looked over at me and smirked.

“Are you all clean now?”He asked playfully. I chuckled and nodded. He patted beside him.

“Scooby Doo is on.” He said smirking. I laughed and crawled on his bed. Sitting beside him. He sat up.

“I’m really sorry that she did that to you..” He said looking at me. I shook my head.

“It’s okay.” I lied. It was not okay. I had to deal with Cassy and her friends harassing me ever since I was 13. Cassy never liked me. And I think its pretty easy to find out why. Josh. She thought he was the sexiest thing that lived here and she’d be right. Alex had light blonde hair with a bang that swept in front of his eyes. He had green eyes that sparked when he was happy, and they got dark when he was mad. His body was average it wasn’t like models and thats what everyone loved about it and him. He never tried being the best he tried being him and it was good enough.

“Liar.” He said simply,turning to me and looking at me expectantly.

“What?” I asked. He chuckled.

“I don’t know honestly...Oh yeah sorry but you just have to not let her get to you. If she see’s that she should back off she only goes out for the people that give her more of a reaction.” I scoffed and shook my head. He looked at me confused.

“It doesn’t work that way if it did I’d have been rid of her a long time ago.” I said. He nodded.

“She thinks I’m gonna get you to cheat on her..” I said. Josh looked at me confused.

“How?” I looked at him in disbelief.
“How else? By seducing you, by kissing you, etc., etc.” I said. He chuckled and shook his head.

“That’s not what I meant. Everyone thinks me and Cassy are dating. I’m starting to think she does to but that’s not what it is. Cassy and me are jus... We’re pushed into having to date but I really don’t want to date her because of how she is. She uses every guy and cheats on all of her boyfriends so I just we’re...We’re friends with benefits I guess. I haven’t had a girlfriend in years though.” He said. I smirked.

“You sound so old.” I said punching him playfully. He laughed and shoved me back and then before I know it we were on the floor wrestling. He turned me onto my back, Pinning my arms over my head.

“You give?” He asked. I shook my head and bit his arm. His grip loosened.

“OW!” He yelled. I grinned and turned over on top of him, pinning his arms over his head. He struggled. I smiled.

“You taught me this.” I cleared my throat. He looked at me amused.

“No matter how big unless your wrestling guys like John Cena and I’m sorry but you won’t get that far but anyway guys my size and a little bigger not matter what can’t get up if you pin them down just right.” I said mocking him. He chuckled and nodded.

“You actually listen to me! Good Job! You wanna cookie?” He said smirking. I laughed. Then his eyes met mine. I felt like my muscles were melting away and I was so weak. I breathed out shakily, then looked away and crawled onto his bed and leaned against the wall. Josh sat up.

“Oh I see how it is. I’m nice to you and let you use my shower and my clothes and u take over my bed.” He said. I knew he was loosening up the moment. He knew me well and he wasn’t stupid. I chuckled and spread my body on his bed.

“Be a gentleman.” I said laughing. He scoffed and stood up and crawled into the bed and sat beside me.

“How bout you share? You learned that when you were 3 missy. Go to time out.” He joked. I laughed. He looked at me. I felt a little uncomfterable by the way he was looking at me. I smiled lightly and looked down. His fingertips were underneath my chin. Pulling my chin up and towards him. He leaned in. I breathed out shakily. His lips pressed mine. I felt like electricity went through our lips. My stomach flip flopped. I pulled back lightly. He pulled me back in. His lips moving against mine and I couldn’t stop..not now. I leaned back on his bed, his body moving on top of mine. His tongue traced my bottom lip and pushed into my mouth. His hands slid up and down my sides and I couldn’t stop. His hand moved up to my chest. My arms wrapped around his neck. I heard voices down stairs. Josh kissed down my jaw to my neck. I smiled in pleasure. The voices got louder from down stairs. I looked over at the clock as Josh kept kissing my neck. It was 8:30pm. His parents should be home by now. A moan then escaped my lips as Josh’s teeth nibbled on my neck.

“Your liking this I see.” He mumbled against my skin,kissing back up to my lips, smiling. I blushed.

“Your mom and dad are home.” I said. He nodded.

“Yes I know.” He said smirking. I chuckled.

“Look at the position we’re in.” I said. It isn’t like I didn’t like this I had been waiting for the last 4 years. But I didn’t want him getting in trouble though. Josh looked at me grinning.

“Woah.. We never got this far have we? haha You wanna stay for dinner?” He asked. I shook my head.

“No my mom’s making corn chowder tonight yum!” I said laughing. He chuckled.

“Okay.” He said. His body didn’t move. I laughed.

“You can get off of me now.” I said. He nodded and got off of me and the bed. I followed behind him as he went down the stairs. His parents were in the kitchen. We slid through and out the door.

“I’ll give you your clothes tomorrow.” He said laughing. I chuckled.

“Thanks, bye.” I said and turned to start walking. I heard his feet patting agains the rock pathway of his house. He turned me to him and kissed me long and hard, then hugged me tightly. I smirked pulling away.

“Bye Joshy.” I said smiling and started walking home. I smiled to myself. I had never felt as if I was walking on air...until now.

Pathetic

Chapter 5


“You did WHAT?!” Jayce yelled at me from across the table. I looked at him wide eyed.

“Would you quiet down!” I yelled walking around the table and sitting beside him.

“You made out with that deuch bag?” Jayce whispered. I groaned.

“Yes I did. It wasn’t intentional and he was being really..gentle and caring..” I said. Jayce looked at me and put his fingers under my chin.

“Look at me.” He insisted. I sighed and turned to him.

“What?” I asked. He pulled his arm away and pointed over at there table.

“I want you to look over there and tell me what you see. Tell me what’s going on.” I bit my lip and looked over. Josh’s and Cassy’s table was a medium sized table. I looked to see Cassy in Josh’s lap all of them were laughing and I looked more closely. Cassy’s hand was under her leg which led to Josh’s inner thigh. I breathed out shakily. Cassy then saw me looking and grinned and turned her face to Josh’s and touched her lips against his. Everyone at there table oooo’d and whistled. I frowned. Josh’s eyes were closed but then opened and he looked at me. He then pushed her away lightly. Cassy looked at him confused. He shook his head and pushed her off and stood up and walked out of the cafeteria. I turned and looked at Jayce and smirked.

“As you were saying?” I asked. Jayce shook his head.

“But you still gotta think..Would he have pulled away if you weren’t here?” He asked. My eyebrows furrowed. Would he have? I asked in my head. Before I knew it I was on my way out of the cafeteria. I walked down the hall way and looked around for Josh. I then walked to the gym and heard pounding. My eyebrows furrowed. I walked into the gym. My converse patting against the wooden gym flooring. I looked around the gym. The pounding louder. I then walked around towards the work out gym. I looked around the equipment. The pounding as loud as it could be. I heard a voice from the punching bag in the far far corner. I tilted my head and saw Josh punching the punching bag. His grumbles got louder. His punches hitting harder and harder against the punching bag.

“Your such a fucking pansy. You are hurting her.” He grumbled angrily. I watched as his fists started to bleed. I couldn’t move. His face was red, the sweat trickling down his forehead, the wet spots under his neck growing larger. His breathing more fiercer now. The punching bag starting to swing back and fourth from his heavy blows to its red leathery material. I gulped. My body starting to shake.

“J-Josh.” I stuttered. My voice cracking as well. Josh looked over at me. His breathing slowed and he stopped quickly, pulling his hands up and stopping the bag. He gulped and wiped his forehead. Not knowing the blood flowing from the cuts of his knuckles, the blood across his forehead. I walked over to him slowly. He looked at me confused. I took the sleeve of my shirt and wiped it across his forehead. His eyebrows furrowed as he saw the red stain across my sleeve. I breathed out shakily.

“Is that from me or you?” He asked eyeing my arm. I chuckled lightly.

“From you. Do you not feel this?” I asked raising his wrist up, so he could see his knuckles. He shook his head, attempting to put a smile across his lips.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. He shook his head.

“Nothing..” He said, his voice drowning off. I laughed lightly. The sweat trickling down his temple.

“Obviously something is wrong or you wouldn’t be doing this to your self.” I said persistantly. He sighed, pulling his arm away and walking over to the shelf that was against the wall. The shelf was white and had 5 shelves that were stocked with blue and black towel’s (our school colors). He grabbed one of the towels and wiped it across his face. He then studied his knuckles and sighed and put them against the towel.

“Josh.. Talk to me..” I asked. He groaned.

“Alex I am fine. Stop nagging me. I said nothing was wrong this conversation is over.” He said angrily and started walking towards the exit and pushed through the door. I grabbed his arm.

“Josh you know you’ll get in trouble for leaving early. Just calm down. The bell’s going to ring soon...We need to get to class..Just..Please?” I begged. He rolled his eyes, shrugging me off.

“I don’t care if I get in trouble. I just need to get away from this hell hole for right now. Is that okay? Because I don’t think it matters if I have your permission or not.” He spat. I glared.

“You do care if you get in trouble stop being stubborn and come on.” I said angrily. He chuckled and shook his head and started walking towards the parking lot. I groaned and watched him, then ran out towards him.

“Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll leave you alone.” I said. The cool wind hitting against my face. My hair pushed forward against my face and cheeks. Josh chuckled turning around.

“You wanna know my problem Alex? Huh?” He asked. I nodded.
“You. You are my problem. Your acting as if this thing is going to work and it won’t. I don’t care about you and I honestly just want to be left alone. Maybe Jayce may change his ways for you and be with you. Because he’s probably the only person that would ever even think about being with you.” He said. I felt the heat go to my cheeks.

“Oh really? Because I think your just doing what you always do. Once Cassy does this and you think its hurting me you try pushing me away all over again. You and me both know that doesn’t ever work well. I know you. I have known you since I was 2. Stop being a woose and own up to your problems. Running away from them and being afraid of what people may think makes you pathetic.” I said. He looked at me sadly. I heard the click clacking of Cassy’s high heels behind me. I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms and leaning on my leg.

“Joshy what are you doing out here? We have class silly. And you need to go.” She said sweetly. I felt like I was going to vomit.

“Come on Joshy we have class.” I mocked her in a high voice. I heard her scoff and Josh chuckle. I grinned.

“Why are you even here? No one likes you anyway. You don’t need to go so you can go home...Go die for what anyone else cares.” She said. I rolled my eyes.

“People do care if I’m there. I think everyone would throw a party if you missed a day of school.” I said. Josh looked back and fourth between us. He dropped the towel in his hand and walked slowly up to me.

“Josh what are you doing?” She squeeked. He laid his hand on my cheek and pressed his lips against mine. I heard her gasp. I smiled against his lips and pulled away lightly.

“Go home Alex..” He whispered. I looked at him confused.

“I don’t feel anything and that lets me know theres nothing there.” He whispered. I heard Cassy chuckle.

“Se-” Josh cut her off and looked over my head.

“Shut up Cassy.” He spat. I looked at him confused. I heard Cassy stomp off. His eyes then landed on mine.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I said angrily. He shook his head, pulling his hand down and away from my cheek.

“Alex I don’t think we should hang out anymore.. It’ll make everything easier.. I’ll pick you up in the morning and to take you home but I think it’s best if we don’t really see eachother that much.” He said shakily. I looked at and scoffed.

“Your exactly what I said before...Pathetic.” I said and pushed him away and started to run across the sidewalk. I wanted to be as far away from here as I could. I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t face everyone inside. Cassy would’ve told them all that had happened and they’d all look down at me as they do already. I’m done being a little charity case..

Just a C student

Chapter 6


My converse patted against the cement. The tears lightly sliding down my cheeks. I ran faster towards my house. I was done here. I hated it here. Nothing was here for me and nothing ever would be. I ran up the steps of the porch and unto the wooden patio, pushing through the door and into the house. I started to cry harder. Anger and sadness and hate all together in my thoughts and emotions. I slammed the door shut and ran up the stairs to my room. I grabbed the suitcase under my bed and threw it on top of my bed, running to my dresser and pulling the drewer’s out, the drewers falling to the wooden flooring. I pulled my clothes out of each drewer, throwing them into my suitcase, pushing down on them so they would fit. I pulled the suit case shut and grabbed my bag and ran over to my dresser and pulled all of my belongings on it into my bag and zipped it shut. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and skimmed through my contacts. I stared at the contact, then clicked on it. It rang a couple times.

“Hello this is Karen.” I heard my aunt’s voice say through the speaker of the phone. I gulped.

“Aunt Kare?” I asked. I heard a gasp in the background and then a few muffles.

“Hey baby how are you? Are you okay? How’s your mom?Have you heard from your father?” I heard her ask. I sighed, twirling my hair between my fingers.

“I was wondering if I could go live with you for a lil bit...” I said drowning off. I heard light breathing on the other end.

“Well..How bout you just come over for the weekend honey then we can figure this all out. Don’t tell your mom what your thinking because I don’t want her worrying bout something you may change your mind about.” I smiled lightly at her voice. I hadn’t talked to aunt Karen since dad left which was of 3 years ago. I was surprised she still remembered my voice. I twirled a strand of my hair between my fingers.

“I’m already packed. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” I mumbled. I heard the door slam down stairs. I gulped. Mom wasn’t fond of my friendship with my aunt. After all she was the sister of the guy that cheated and broke her heart. I sighed. She most likely would not be a fan of me going..

“Alex? Are you there?” Karen asked through the phone. I sighed.

“Yeah but mom’s home-” I was cut off by my mom opening the door.

“Who is that you are talking to?” She asked curiosly. I gulped.

“Alex?” I ignored her and hung up the phone quickly, laying my phone on my dresser.

“Just Jayce.” I said uneasily. She cocked an eyebrow and eyed me. I gulped. I could never lie to her. It was basically impossible for me. She crossed her arms.

“Or not..” I mumbled under my breath. She nodded.

“Now you going to tell me who really was on the phone or just keep lying?” She asked. I sighed.

“Karen...thats who I was talking with.” I said silently. She cocked an eyebrow.

“I don’t remember you being friends with a Karen is she new at your school.” She asked. I sighed and shook my head.

“No...Aunt Karen.” I said nervously. She looked at me and gulped and fidgeted uncomfterably.

“Oh.” She said simply. I nodded. I didn’t know what her reaction would be of what I wanted to do. My mother never judged me. She took me as I was and I admired her for that. But my decision as of now..I wouldn’t know what to expect. My mom had never yelled at me..never disciplined me. Because I never thought of hurting her like that. I sighed and looked up at her.

“I wanna move in with Karen.” I said simply. I heard her breathing shakily. I waited for a reaction. Something that showed me she heard what I said..but nothing. She just leaned against the siding of my doorway. Her arms crossed and her eyes aimed at the floor. No expression crossing her face, the only thing showing me she was still alive was her light and shaky breathing and her fingers that twitched ever so often. I gulped.

“Fine.” She said and turned and walked out of my room. I looked at the back of her confused as she went down the stairs. I tilted my head and stood up and ran after her.

“Fine? That’s it. Nothing else. You cant even say anything to that?” I asked. She scoffed, walking into the kitchen and over to the fridge.

“If you want to live with that women fine. She’d probably let you do whatever you wanted. Not like I do that. I don’t expect much from you and still you want to leave. Your just like your father. No more no less. Running away anytime you get the chance. Fine. Be my guest and leave.” She said angrily and pulled lettuce out of the fridge and put it on the counter.

“I am nothing like him and you know that! Things at school are happening and I think the best thing for me is to just...just leave.” I said. My mother groaned.

“No. That is the worst thing you can do. Your father ran away from the problems we had here. He expected life to be better with the little girl he had. But no. It doesn’t help you to run away from your problems because no matter how far away you go or wherever you go...There still going to be here when you get back. Nothing will change. You think people will forget? No. It isn’t that easy. You need to grow up and own up to what you have here but if you just think it’ll wash away you are sadly mistaken.” She said and looked at me. I gulped. Me and her never really had the lets talk about our problems talk. That wasn’t us we were friends that just didn’t talk much. She told me the right’s and wrongs, wiped my tears away and did what mothers do. But we never talk talked. It just was awkward and it didn’t feel right. But my mom was wise and I never doubted her of that. I had to get it from somebody and it was her.

“...Your right.” I said silently. I usually was right about most things. I never really had anybody prove me wrong. I never talked to anyone or argued with many people unless it was in school and I had facts to prove what I said. That was the best thing about school answers to it could be backed up with facts aslong as you had the facts and evidence to back it up you were right. And I knew that but when it came to things such as this...nothing could really go against what she was saying. I couldn’t say something really smart and witty that had been proven years ago by some old guy in a white trench coat. This was my mother and she knew more then I could ever know. I was a nerd when it came to school but things outside of it confused me..I was just a C student.

The Win

Chapter 7


“Your gonna move where?!” Jayce screamed as he stood at the bottom of the steps of my house. I stood at the top, my arms wrapped around the white column beside me. I gulped and looked down as Jayce continued to scream and yell at me. I sighed lightly.

“Are you freaking kidding me?! Out of all the things we’ve been through all the things I’ve helped you with you choose now to just up ad leave!! I can’t this is just to stupid even for you! All this because of a skank and a boy! Do you know how stupid that is?!” He screamed. I groaned and ran down the steps to him.

“You don’t know have the shit that has happened! Are you seriously yelling at me for this? I never said I wouldn’t be coming back. I just need to get away for a little bit. Is that so bad?” I asked angrily. Jayce looked at me. The look on his face made me cringe. It was of pure disgust. I sighed.

“I just need to get away.” I then heard snivels leave my friends mouth. My eyebrows furrowed and I looked at his face. Studying his facial expression carefully. I felt my heart sink. Jayce never really cried. I mean he cried over a loss of a boyfriend but that wasn’t as sad and heard to watch as this. His black hair fell in front of his face. The snivels slightly louder then before. I walked down each step and down to his side. I hugged him, His face hitting my shoulder as he lightly cried. I patted his back and kissed his shoulder lightly.

“Please don’t go....I won’t have anyone else...” He mumbled. I shook my head.

“Babe you have everyone in the world.”I whispered. He shook his head and pulled back. He looked into my eyes. The tears rolling down his cheeks.

“My dad hates me because of my sexuality, my mom is somewhere banging some guy in Vegas because that’s how she pays child support, My grandparents are catholics that are to busy taking care of some foster child that they love more then they ever did me, My aunt is dead and my brother is in California banging chicks and in college that my dad has paid for him to go to for 4 years that he only needed 2. I have no one...but you.” He mumbled tracing his fingers up and down the side of my cheek. I nodded. I never knew about the whole story of Jayce’s family there was to much there for me to even get into. His family was built on jerks and women that never stayed long. He was my best friend.

“I won’t leave you..” I mumbled and hugged him tightly...


The next morning....


I groaned a little as my alarm clock started to go off. I wanted to stay in bed and never leave it. I wanted to just put my headphones in and ignore all the world.

“Could you maybe turn that damn thing off?” I chuckled a little at Jayce’s voice from the floor in front of my bed.I chuckled as the scooby doo theme song continued to play. I picked my head up from the pillow lazily and hit my hand against the ret button in the middle of my scooby doo alarm clock. I yawned and pushed the blankets off me and turned hanging my feet off of my bed. I the tilted my head as I saw the head of Jayce cuddled against the bottom of the end post at the front of my bed. His black hair all in front of his face.

“Well how did you sleep?” I asked chuckling. His head turned as he looked at me, his hair parting making it clear enough to see his eyes. He nodded.

“Ya..Who wouldn’t have a wonderful sleep on a blow up mattress? It’s like plush.” He said and giggled. I chuckled and planted my feet on the cold wooden boards of my floor. I shivered then continued for the door to get to the bathroom. I walked into the bathroom, not even bothering to shut the door knowing Jayce would be soon to come too. I looked at myself in the mirror. My black hair all over the place. I groaned.

“I have to brush you don’t I?” I mumbled aloud. I then heard Jayce’s light footsteps coming from the hall. He pushed threw the door.

“Cover anything scarring.” He said laughing lightly. I chuckled and smacked his chest. I flinched.

“OW!” I yelled and shook my hand violently in the air. Jayce laughed and smiled wide. My hand throbbed lightly.

“What the hell dude?” I asked angrily, pulling my hand to my stomach. He chuckled.

“I work out... Im sexy and I know it.” I laughed and started to run my brush through my hair. My bangs falling to my forehead and to my shoulders. Jayce stood beside me and flipped his hair and smiled at himself in the mirror then looked down and sighed.

“I look like crap.” He muttered and left the room. I chuckled... Time to face my fears...No matter how much i don’t want too....


I walked out of the house with Jayce by my side. I sighed and kept my eyes down on the ground as I saw Jayce’s car pass by my house. I looked inside the car to see Cassy in the passenger side. She looked out the window at me and smiled. I kept my head down. Jayce sighed as the car slowed down beside us.

“Aww look both of the disgraces walk together. Like that will help you. One’s gay and the others a freak. Hey maybe Jayce will go straight for you Alex.” Cassie spat out of the window. I looked inside the car. Why was he even watching this? Was he just lying all the times he said he liked me? I then eyed Josh’s eyes going straight ahead, his hands gripping the steering wheel. I nodded.

“Just because your jealous that your boyfriend actually respects me and not you doesn’t mean you need to throw a little tantrum. It’s kinda sad that you’d go to all this trouble to speak your mind. So how bout I do the favor for you and save you from embarrassment huh? Your a whore and I think you should change your clothes and respect for others and maybe people wouldn’t be saying so much-”

“But you-”

“I’m not finished. Now you should prolly find a new boyfriend because he cheated on you with me. So a disgrace? Honey your one to so do me a favor and grow the hell up and leave me and my friends alone.” I said angrily. Cassie’s mouth dropped. She stared at me. I smirked.

“Bye!” I said happily and skipped away down the sidewalk.

“Hey! Wait!” I breathed out and stopped by the tree in front of the school. Jayce ran to me.

“That...Was..AMAZING!” He yelled happily. I laughed as he launched forward and hugged me tight. I smiled and held my head against his shoulder. He pulled away slowly. He looked at me and smiled wide.

“Thanks for standing up for me. You got balls.” He said jokingly. I nodded. I held my head high as we walked into the school. Everyone turned to us, then looked back at there lockers. I walked quickly to my class. Jayce by my side. Both of us basically skipping. I didn’t think I could make an effect like this to make her leave me alone. I thought as I passed Cassie and she didn’t say a word. But I knew it wasn’t over just yet. I looked around and was surprised on the grouping of the students. Josh wasn’t over there with them. He wasn’t even close to them. He was all the way in front. His hands gripping the front edge of the table and his leg shaking lightly. I smiled.

“Finally fighting for yourself..” I mumbled. I knew he heard me because chuckled and loosened up and relaxed against the chair. I looked and watched the teacher walk up to the front of the room. His eyes widened as he saw Josh in the front seat where he belonged.

“Are you alright there Sir?” He asked Josh. Josh chuckled and nodded.

“It’s all good Mr. C.” He said. I laughed and followed the teachers had as it glided across the board as he wrote the notes. I couldn’t focus on what it all really meant I just listened to the girls over in the corner. Cassie’s whispering easily heard.

“I think it’s like way to risky. You like never know right?” I rolled my eyes at her girlish vocabulary. I then noticed it wasn’t Cassie talking it was her friend. Rosaline, her hair a bottle blonde like all the others and her posture similar to theres, her legs crossed. I kept my bangs in front of my eyes, I peeked through them to keep the girls in my view. Cassie scoffed.

“You think that little skank is anything against me? This morning I made the bitch cry” She said laughing lightly with the others. I rolled my eyes. Bull shit you liar. I thought. I then sighed and focused on listening.

“I don’t know she has guts. Are you sure this is gonna work?” Rosaline asked silently. Cassie scoffed.

“Are you kidding me? No one is even running up against me and believe me..If I put him in this little deal.... One I’ll win with a someone running...Two.. This will be so amusing for her to try and think she actually has a chance.” My eyebrows furrowed. What and who was she talking about? I asked in my head. The bell then rang and I shoved my books into my bag and walked out of class. I walked down the dismal hallway. My eyes glued to the floor as I pondered through my thoughts. What were they talking about? What deal? Who is her victim going to be? I kept walking and walked down the steps towards the gym. I eyed the people in front of me. They were student teachers I believed and they had our principal in front of them. I walked quickly passing by them. I dropped my binder and books on the bench outside of the gym and walked inside the gym. I smiled at what our gym teacher had out. Basketballs.. I smiled in awe. If there was any sport I could do for the rest of my life was basketball. I didn’t play because I like it being fun and competitions there was to much pressure to many people depending on you. To many people that you are able to let down. I walked into the locker room and changed quickly, ignoring the prissy people that stood in front of there lockers. Them taking forever to get dressed so they could skip out on class. Them being the suck up’s that they were could get away with it because they were the favorites. I looked at my gym teacher. His hair greased so it would cover the reseeding hair line he had on his forhead. His pants pulled up over his stomach, where his purple polo shirt was tucked under. A whistle rested against his chest.

“Grab a ball and shoot.” He persisted and leaned back agains the wall. A couple other girls came out and were shooting on the far hoops while the others were still in the locker rooms. I grabbed a ball and rolled it around my fingers. The material rubbing against the skin of my hands. I dribbled it against the wooden like floors of the gym and ran over to the hoop shooting a lay up. Swish.. I smiled. The sound made me smile. I missed that sound so much. I grabbed the ball and walked out to the foul line. I dribbled the ball against the floor and balanced myself and held the ball in my hand and then pushed off. The ball slid out of my fingers. I watched it like it was in slow-mo. It hit the net and swish. I grinned.

“Woop!” I said to myself. I then cocked an eyebrow as I saw Josh standing on the outside of the box. He sighed.
“You never did miss.” He mumbled. I nodded.

“I miss sometimes.” I mumbled and walked forward towards the ball and grabbed it. I dribbled it against the floor and walked back to the foul line. I shot again the ball hitting the backboard and falling down to the floor. I sighed angrily. Josh grabbed the ball and held it out in front of him to me. I laid my hand on top of it to pull it back when he pulled me and the ball in to him. I gulped.

“ You only missed when you were nervous.” He said smirking. I rolled my eyes.

“Do me a favor and be bipolar somewheres else.” I said angrily and went back to the foul line and shot again. The ball swishing through the net. Josh grabbed the ball.

“Wanna get your anger out? How bout we play a game?” He asked. I chuckled.

“No...I wouldn’t want to embarrass you in front of all these girls.” I said. He shrugged.

“I don’t have to be embarrassed sweety now how bout you try beating me.” He mumbled I grabbed the ball. I walked up to center court and dribbled the ball.

“Whoever shoots atleast 5 points wins. No fouls.” I mumbled and dribbled it lightly. Josh nodded and stepped in front of me. We passed it back and fourth twice. I then ran towards the basket and did a right lay up. Josh smiled and walked out to the end line.

“Cheap shot.” He mumbled and dribbled back in. I kept my palms out and knee’s bent. He pushed his hip against me. Pushing me back. I groaned and tapped the ball and it bouncing away. Josh ran and grabbed the ball and dribbled to the three point line. He bent his legs and got ready to shoot. I chuckled.

“You so will not make that.” I said. He looked at me and smirked. He kept his eyes on me and pushed off. The ball leaving his fingers. He kept his eyes on me. I felt my body melt. I then heard the key sound.. Swish. I blinked, my body coming back to earth. I turned quickly. I looked at the ball and net in disbelief. How..? I groaned angrily and grabbed the ball and dribbled back out. Josh rubbing against practically as he guarded me.

“Stop rubbing against me ya rapist.” I said angrily and went to shoot then faked and ran to do another lay up. Josh chuckled catching the ball as it fell through the net.

“Mad that you can’t win?” He asked laughing. I glared.

“You wish.” I said angrily as he dribbled back out and went to shoot. I slammed the ball against my hand. The ball pushing back through Josh’s hands to the floor. I ran to the ball and grabbed it and ran back.

“You like it since you keep dribbling back.” He said jokingly. I glared and shoved him aside and shot at the foul line.

“Hell no. 3 to 3.” I said. Josh chuckled.

“You play rough.” He said and dribbled forward and back then faking to the side and stopping at the corner of the box and shooting.

“4 to 3 sweety.” He said. I groaned.

‘GIve me the god damn ball.” I said angrily. I wasn’t gonna lie, when I got into a game I did get competitive and I didn’t like loosing...EVER. I grabbed the ball and dribbled, passing it through my legs. Josh nodded.

“I’m impressed you got skills.” He said chuckling. I rolled my eyes.

“To bad I’m gonna win.” He said smiling. I shook my head stepping back to half court.

“Nope cause right here is where I win.” I said and pushed off my feet off of the floor and shot the ball towards the hoop. I fell back onto the floor my butt landing hard on the wood. I listened for the sound. I sighed sadly but then heard a swish. I beamed.

“ I. Win.” I said simply and stood up and pushed passed Josh towards the locker room. His expression the same as before.

The Dare.

Chapter 8


“You pushed him to the ground?” Jayce asked excitedly, practically bouncing in his seat. I chuckled and nodded. Jayce screeched with happiness.

“I knew you had that attitude. I just didn’t want to be there to witness it.” He said smirking. I laughed a smile rising over my lips. I looked across the cafeteria to see Cassie with her friends in a totally seperate table from all the others. I cocked an eyebrow. Cassie was always with the other jerks. What changed her mind now? Did she finally notice that all of them never liked her? That they said horrible things about her behind her back? I asked myself in my head.

“Hello? Earth to Alex.” I heard I blinked and turned to the now frustrated Jayce. He glared, his arms crossed and held tightly to his chest. I sighed.

“Sorry, You have my full attention.” I said. He chuckled and nodded. He breathed in and out shakily. I cocked an eyebrow as he continued to look extremely uncomfterable and fidgety.

“What is it?” I asked. He sighed. He pulled his hands onto the table.

“You know how I said that I was sorta confused on if I was... ya know..” He drownded off. Jayce always was weird when he mentioned things like his sexuality which I found amusing.

“Being gay. Yeah.” I said grinning as he shivered at my words. I laughed lightly. He sighed.

“I’m being serious.” He said angrily. I sighed and nodded.

“Sorry, as you were saying.” I said. I was actually starting to get bored with his words. He always rambled and took forever to get to the point in his words and actions and frankly. I was impatient and bored easily so...He needed to hurry up.

“I’m bi.” He said simply and turned back in the seat and sat back. My jaw dropped.

“WHAT?!” I yelled. His eyes widened and he put his hand over my mouth as everyone turned and stared at us.

“Will you hush! I gotta girlfriend as of yesterday. Now change of subject since your admirers are coming.” He said as Cassie and her friends started over to our table.

“B-b-but I was..grr this isn’t over. You have a lot of explaining to do.” I said lightly. Cassie then reached my table and leaned over the table and looked at me.

“We need to talk. Now.” She demanded. The others shifted there hips, there arms crossed. I rolled my eyes lightly.

“Why? There’s nothing you could say that would make a difference in my life and or day.” I said angrily. She smirked, flipping her hair to the side.

“Do me a favor and stop throwing your fake bitch fit and go out in the hall with me.” She whispered. I sighed and slid out of my seat and walked behind her. Walking in and out of isles to get passed the many tables of the cafeteria. I noticed how her friends stayed at the table, actually interacting with Jayce. We finally got out to the hallway where she dragged me down it into the girls locker room. She turned sharply. I sighed. Out of all places here? If I hit her here no one would see. I chuckled at my thought. She twirled her hair in her fingers.

“You like Josh.. and so do I. And frankly competing for him with me isn’t working for you now is it? Now I have a better idea on how to choose who gets him. But in a more amusing way for me and rather interesting way frankly.” She said grinning. I scoffed. Did she really think she was that intimidating?

“Sweety, You can have him. And I didn’t compete with you. I just had fun seeing you angry that I’m actually better then you.” I said grinning at her evily. She glared at me.

“If you think your going to loose then just say so.” She said angrily. I chuckled.

“I wouldn’t loose.” I said, clentching my fists to my sides. She nodded.

“Then listen to the deal and see if you can live up to those words.” She said. I chuckled.

“Are you trying to intimidate me?” I said amused. She chuckled, shaking her head.

“More like daring you. Now the dare or deal if you will that I brilliantly came up with resides with a little competition in itself. You may like it and or hate it. Either way I really could care less.” She said smiling. I chuckled lightly.

“Try me.” I said simply. She grinned.

“Well I’m running for homecoming queen. And since last year I won no one is competing this year.” She said faking the sadness in her voice. I nodded.

“Your gonna make me compete against you.” I said understanding what point she was leading to. She chuckled and walked around me, leaning against the wall.

“Your not as stupid as you look Alex. Whoever wins the crown wins the man.” She said. I chuckled at how rehearsed and movie star like her words sounded. I looked down at the grey tiles of the flooring of the locker room. I only had like one friend. How would I be able to win against the girl that probably gave special pleasures to the guys that would vote for her and or get people to vote for her. I thought for a moment. If I beat her people would actually get that all things don’t have to go with deals and special pleasures but by the person themselves and I wanted to see if she’d cry if I beat her. I stepped up closer to her and looked her right in the eyes.

“Get ready to loose.” I spat and turned. She grabbed my shoulder pulling me back and pushing me to sit down on the wooden bench in front of all the lockers. She looked down at me.

“There’s rule’s smart ass.” She spat. I chuckled and crossed my legs and looked at her. A smirk rising over my lips.

“Well if you say so. But I think one should be no blow jobs to get guy votes.” I said. Her jaw dropped. I laughed.

“Don’t act so innocent everyone knows. We may be stupid with some things but guys are very open with telling eachother about things like that. We’re all A students in eavesdropping.” I said, pulling my shirt down lightly. I heard her scoff.

“I don’t care. First rule no buying people to vote. All fair. No special favors no special “pleasures” for the guys and deffonintly no buying people to vote.” I chuckled.

“You said buying people out twice dumb ass.” I said viciously and stood up and started for the door.

“There’s one more.” She said her eyebrow raised. I turned my head and looked at her. Her short skirt a pink plaid where she had her fingers on the edges of it. She shifted on to her hip.

“Whoever wins has Josh. No interferances.” She said looking at me as this rule was made because of me. When we both knew whoever won. She would do something about it.

Fade away.

Chapter 9


I scribbled across the paper. My teacher talking about religious and political views that I had no interest in listening too. I thought about the dare. What would I do to make this work?To make me win. I thought. I wrote a note to jayce asking for his help on the subject. Folding it daintily and writing and scribbling all over it with smiley faces. I then threw it onto his desk. The teacher to interested in the argument with some chick in the front. Jayce turned and looked at me. I nodded.

“Open it.” I mouthed. He nodded and unfolded it quickly no sounds to be heard. I watched as an evil smile crossed his lips. He looked up at the board then back down at the note and ran the pen across the paper. I sighed and tilted my head back and fourth. My patience wearing thin as 5 minuets passed. I then felt something hit against my head. I blinked and noticed the paper on my desk. I chuckled lightly. I opened it up, the loud crinkles making everyone turn to me. I unfolded it a little slower now as everyone turned back to the board. My eyes widened as I saw the whole paragraph of words. I rolled my eyes. As if I didn’t do enough reading..


(5 hours later)

“Alex! Get a move on. If we’re gonna use my dad’s car we need to move fast.” Jayce demanded, walking quickly down the sidewalk. I groaned and followed closely behind.

“Dude chill.. I’m tired.” I whined. Jayce groaned and stopped dead in front of me. He looked like he was bracing himself.

“Jump on. I can’t wait for a slow whiny girl like you.” He said impatiently. I giggled and jumped onto his back, wrapping my arms around his neck. He held onto my legs and started to run. I laughed lightly. I felt like a 5 year old frankly and the looks we recieved from the people we passed was slightly amusing.

“Your like all muscly.” I said laughing. I heard Jayce scoff.

“Like.. I think like the girls are like rubbing off on you.” He said in the most girliest and gay voice ever. I mean Jayce had a somewhat gay..ish voice but this was over the top.

“That isn’t funny.” I said angrily. He chuckled and lifted me up a little higher so I wouldn’t fall off.

“If you didn’t talk like that I wouldn’t have had to of mocked you in the first place.” He said and started walking up the dirt driveway that led up to his house.

“Jerk.” I mumbled angrily. I then felt his hands leave my legs. I screamed and fell to the ground. Jayce laughed and turned and looked at me. I glared at him angrily.

“I liked you better when you were all gay.” I said laying my palms on the ground then pushing off of them, standing up. I winced a little. That’s gonna bruise.. I thought dusting off the dirt off of my pants. Jayce didn’t say anything and ran into his house, then he was back out. He ran over to the black honda in the driveway.

“Get in.” He said simply and pulled the car door of the driver side open and slid into the car, slamming the door shut. I sighed.

“He’s mad..” I mumbled and ran up the passenger side door and opened the door and got into the car. I smiled as I heard Bring Me The Horizon blasting through the speakers of the car. Jayce laid his hand on the back of my seat and looked back as we pulled out of the driveway. He then turned back and pushed on the gas pedal. The tires screeched and we launched forward. I sighed as I saw the scowl on Jayce’s face.

“Jayce...” I whined, looking at him. I was shocked to see that not even a smirk rose across his lips. He really was mad at me. I sighed.

“Jayce I really am sorry.” I said. He scoffed.

“That’s not really good enough right now.” I rolled my eyes.

“What did I do that was so freaking bad?” I questioned uneasily. Jayce was the kind of guy that would just stop the car and leave you on the side of the road. I kept my eyes on his hands. Watching if he go to to touch the unlock button. But his hands never left the steering wheel. They stayed right on the white cover of the wheel.

“I always told you I wasn’t one hundred percent sure about who I was or who I am. Everyone just suspected I was gay. Your starting to think like them and its quite insulting.” He said sadly. I sighed.

“I’ve never dated a guy only girls so I don’t see why-”

“Jayce really? I don’t want to fight and I don’t want one of us crying. I’m sorry for being like everyone else.” I said. Jayce chuckled.

“I wouldn’t end up crying.” He said. Jayce knew all to well on who I was betting would cry first. I chuckled.

“Who said I meant you?” I said laughing. Jayce looked at me in disbelief.

“Yeah right.” He said laughing lightly. I smiled and looked back at the highway. Where we lived it was actually quite convinient. It was a small town that was only 20 minuets from the mall. Well that is if you knew the right roads. There were back roads that led right to the highway. Well back roads that highschoolers made to save the extra 40 minuets of traffic and pointless roads. Plus we had permission to “make” the road by the crappy guy we call a mayor in our town and then from the state. So here we are.

“Okay we’re buying your clothes first.” He said. I groaned. I wasn’t really looking forward to the shopping portion of this transformation. When I was shopping for myself I walked into hottopic grabbed a couple shirts and jeans bought them and if they didn’t fit at home they went back and I grabbed the next size. This would take way longer. I wouldn’t know what to buy. I mean really? I wore band shirts, skinnies and v-necks and sometimes plaid button ups from kohls. Nothing fancy and nothing technical. Just easy,comfterable and not idiotic like skirts and highheels and actually thinking about color cordinating. I groaned as Jayce parked the car in front of the most idiotic mall in the state. The mall had two good stores, Hottopic and Debs but the rest was a total waste of time. Jayce got out of the car and pulled me out of the car and dragged me along towards Macy’s. He pulled me over to the teen section.

“Arms out.” He said simply. I did as I was told and he looked at my body.

“Large shirt size and 13 pant size right?” He asked. My eyes widened.

“Don’t say that so loud.” I said. He chuckled and looked through the aisles and pulled out a ruffled black skirt, throwing it on my arms. He then grabbed a bunch of v-necks. I groaned as he had more skirts,ripped jeans and v-necks to go.

“How the hell are we going to be able to pay for this?” I asked. He chuckled.

“A lot of discounts and my credit card and my dads credit card. We’ll be good.” I shrugged. The boy did think things through. He then pushed me to the dressing room. I groaned.

“I hate trying things on Jayce. And we have like a million sets of clothes it will take me hours.” I whined. He chuckled.

“Try one of the v-necks, one of the skirts, one of the button ups, and one of the jeans, and I’m getting you a push up.” He said. I looked at him confused. He laughed.

“Bra.” He said simply. I cocked an eyebrow.

“Yeah your bi.” I said teasingly. He shrugged.

“What size?” He asked. I groaned.

“C... Can we just stop now.. To much work.” I whined. He glared.

“Get your ass in there and try them on.” He said. I groaned and pulled the crapload of clothes into the dressing room. The woman eyed the pile of clothes in my arms.

“You can’t have that many in the dressing room.” She said. I groaned.

“Ma’m can you just be a little liniant? It’s an emergency.” I said. I sounded so girly right now. But if it convinced this woman I’d be okay. She walked around me eying my clothes I was wearing. I heard her gasp.

“Yes indeed!” She pushed me into the dressing room and into one of the stalls. She took the clothes and laid them on the seat. She picked out a pair of blue ripped jeans and a pink v-neck with a black cammy.

“Put these on. I’ll pick out the rest of the combinations in a minuet.” She said walking out of the stall. I cocked an eyebrow. I turned to the mirror. I was wearing an Asking Alexandria band shirt. A big green monster in the background with a guy in front running from it, with black skinnies and my neon pink converse. What was wrong with it? I asked in my head. I sighed and pulled off my clothes. I stopped when I heard quarrelling.

“I’m with a girl in there dammit! Now move.” I heard Jayce say angrily. I chuckled, then froze as a package of 3 bras landed on the floor. One black,One pink,One white with polka dots. I pulled on one and then the clothes. I turned to the mirror and looked at my body in the mirror. I froze.

“Oh my god.” I said. I heard the door open.

“Oh shit...”
“Beautiful”

I heard behind me. I looked....weird. I thought. The next few hours of trying clothes on became more shocking then the last 3 years of my life...

“That comes out to 200 dollars after the discounts.” The cashier said. The lady that helped us out in the clothing section ran up to the cashier.

“Take it out of my check. This was worth it. Honey you looked so beautiful in those clothes.Oh! I know where we can go!” She said as she pulled me behind her. I looked back at the 10 bags packed full of clothes surrounded Jayce. He nodded at me and took the bags and started out the door with them. I smiled. I love you Jayce. I said to myself in my head.

“What is your natural hair color?” The girl asked me as she tugged me along towards the hair salon in the back of Macy’s. I froze and stopped abruptly.

“Oh hell no!” I yelled. She turned to me in disbelief.

“You can’t have that nasty black hair with new beautiful clothes.” She persisted. I eyed her. The woman was deffinition of 30 year old Barbie. She had blond hair that curled at the ends and an olive complection, and a tiny waist.

“I love my hair.” I said. I didn’t want to do this anymore. This wasn’t me and I was doing this all for a guy that I wasn’t even sure I loved anymore. I then felt my feet leave the floor. I turned to see Jayce. He held me up. He leaned into my ear.

“She’s right.” He said softly, setting me down in the chair. He kissed my cheek. I looked at myself in the mirror.

“But..” I whined. He smirked.

“You’ll always be beautiful with or without black hair.”He said reassuringly. The hair stylist then started through my hair. I felt the tears rise up to my eyes and slide down my cheeks. Everything I liked about myself..what I wore and my hair..was going to be taken away in just 4 simple hours..

Stop and Stare

Chapter 10-Stop and Stare

I got up and out of bed. The light snores of Jayce at the end of my bed the only sound I could hear. I walked out of my room and into the bathroom. I gulped and looked in the mirror. I hadn't had my hair it's natural color of brown in I don't know how long. I even had extensions in. I felt like I had a weave. And I'm sorry but I don't really need one. My hair was a light brown that went down to my mid chest. I sighed and washed my face and brushed through my wavy hair. I looked over at the clothes that had been picked out for me. There were black converse that was the the closest I could have to my hightops. The rest were light blue ripped jeans. A long rip across the knee and then at the thigh. Why you'd pay 50 dollars or more for jeans that were ripped I would never know. The top was a dark pink and white plaid button up shirt and a black laced cammy. I sighed and pulled on my clothes then did my makeup.

I could only do a light green eyeshadow with blue cat tails. Then mascara and cover up. I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror. My brown silky bangs were pinned to the side. I had never ever wanted to just sit in Hottopic and touch all of the band shirts forever until now. I wanted what I called mine back but I wasn't aloud to because of a stupid dare and the boy I was utterly in love with. I guess those could count as good reasons..In China. I mean changing yourself for others isn't good but sometimes you just do what your brain is fully against just to see what happens.

"Oh my." I turned to see my mom standing in the doorway. She cocked an eyebrow.

"You going to school in that?" She questioned. I sighed and nodded. She walked closer to me,pulling her fingers through my hair.

"Your beautiful no matter what sweety. Thought you should know." She said, kissing my head and leaving the bathroom.My mom loved my choices in music and clothes she just never wanted to admit it. I was my mothers daughter since birth. And I don't mean that literally I mean she was just like me at her age. Which at times was comforting.

"Well look at you." I heard Jayce say. I turned to see him all dressed and hair combed. I groaned and pushed past him and walked down the stairs to the door,grabbing my bag and pushing through the front door. I walked quickly. The faster I got to school the faster this day would be over. I heard Jayce's steps behind me.

"Way to leave me." He said,punching me. I nodded.

"I just want to get to school,Get THROUGH school and then go home." Jayce rolled his eyes.

"You have this homecoming queen thing in the bag." I rolled my eyes. Just changing my wardrobe and dying my hair isn't going to do much. Kids at our school were stupid but not that stupid. I spotted Josh's car in the corner of my eye. I looked over. His eyes were glued on me. I gulped and then used every part in my body to do what I did when we were younger. I turned and put my hand on my nose,crossed my eyes and waved. I laughed at myself and stopped. I could hear Josh's laughs inside his car. I sighed and kept my eyes down after that. Maybe they were that stupid..

Insecurities

Chapter 11

I kept my eyes on my feet. The gasps and stares on me was starting to get to me. I had never wanted attention of many people. I saw no good things come out of it. You couldn't go pea without someone knowing. And I liked keeping my bathroom life to myself.

"Isn't that.."
"Damn.."
"I'd tap that.."
"She actually has color in her wordrobe?.." I chuckled at the different remarks of my fellow students. I hadn't really noticed how many people really and truly noticed me until now. Most of these people were the pretty people. By pretty people I meant preppy. I mean you can be a good prep. There were many in my school which wasn't a problem. But my school was in a small town. Darker images wasn't really the scene. Plaid shirts and chew cans was the scene. Girls were expected to be girly and not wear band shirts. It disgusted me that I was really going to pretend to be one of them.

"Well well well.." I heard from behind me. I lifted my head up from the ground and saw her. The bottle blonde I had hated for atleast my whole entire life.

"Look whose made a change.." She said, she walked around me and studied me. I gulped and kept quite.

"Didn't think you could win it on your own?" She asked, chuckling lightly.

"I could have won you scuzzy little bitch. I don't feel like being studied by a lezbos as you. Now your testing my patience. Now move." I said angrily. I was a tad grumpy...as you can see. She pursed her lips angrily. Her friends standing behind her at loss of words. But after opening and closing there mouths they found the intelligence to glare. I waited for a response. An insult maybe even a hit. But nothing happened. Just there glares was all I got for the past 3 minuets. I groaned.

"Well since you guys have nothing to say I'm going up to my locker." I mumbled. All of them scoffed.

"In our group we believe its a better thing to show your feelings with your eyes." All of them said together. It was like everything they did was practiced. Because everything they said was like it was on que. And it was at most times utterly pathetic.I chuckled and pushed passed them.

"That was ahmazing!" I chuckled as I heard Jayce behind me. His footsteps patted in beat with mine. I pushed through the crowded hallway to my locker. My hand gliding down its metal outline to the padlock.I glided my fingers over it and twisted it to 25-35-10. It clicked and creaked as I pulled it open,grabbing my bag of books. I pulled the strap over my shoulder, I looked up and my jaw almost hit the floor. I swallowed lightly,tightening my jaw nervously.

"So..What's with the change?" Josh asked. I gulped and screamed at my mouth to say words.

"I just felt like it.Is that alright with you?" I said. I guess it was a little to obvious that I was trying to be tough because he chuckled. I closed my eyes lightly as his fingers traced down my cheek.

"Is it permanant?" He asked. I felt my heart sink and my cheek tingle as he traced his fingers up and down it. I couldn't help myself.

"Yes.." I said,opening my eyes again. He smiled lightly. I don't think any oxygen was getting to my brain. Mainly because I couldn't breathe. He leaned into me. My eyes widening. His fingers gliding under my chin and tilting me up. I closed my eyes. I then felt the warmth of his lips against mine. Every piece of my body tingling.

"What the fuck is this?" I grinned as her voice rang through the hallway. I pulled back lightly. Her pale face now beat red. It looked as if smoke would come out of her ears. Josh scoffed and slid his hand down my arm and to mine. His fingers intwining with mine and holding me to his side. My whole body was in shock. I felt my breathing quicken. I then looked to the sides at the guys and some of them were cheering. I cocked an eyebrow and looked up at Josh. A big and wide smile across his face. Maybe he was just waiting for the right time. Maybe just now was the perfect time.. I grinned and walked with him. My head up high. He walked me to my class. I never blushed so much.
The whole day was like a story from a book. It was so perfect that you just couldn't put it into words. He had me sit with him at lunch. He even allowed Jayce to sit there with me. I never felt so special in my life. He never left my side through out the whole school day. IN study hall I made and copied off papers saying vote for me! with a picture of me in the middle. Girls that I had never talked to since 6th grade helped me put them around the school. We talked and laughed like we were best friends and the sad thing was. I knew that it wasn't real. I knew they would turn back to the regular hating people they were when I was darker. But I wasn't going to down my good mood. The last bell to end school finally rang. I never skipped so much in one day in my life.

"Follow the Yellow brick road. Follow the yellow brick road. Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow the Yellow Brick road. Follow the Yellow brick. Follow the yellow brick. Follow the yellow brick road." Jayce and I sang as we skipped outside. I then screeched as I was picked up into the air. Jayce let go of my hand and looked at my attacker with a grin. I already knew who it was.

"Hey beautiful." Josh mumbled,kissing my cheek and setting me back down onto the ground. His friends all gave him a nod and grin and walked away. Guy code for bye noted. I said in my head. I felt like a spy in a way. I was literally taking notes and getting to know his life in a way. I had missed most of it but I was all in on it now. He pulled me in and kissed me,his tongue tracing my bottom lip. I pressed my hand against his chest,pushing him back lightly. I had kissed him enough today to last a whole week. The heat from the time we were together before had built up. And I knew it would break out soon. I honestly didn't care if we were going to fast. I wanted to go fast with him. I wanted every piece of him. I chuckled. I am such a sex addict. But what girl isn't when your dating the guy that makes your mouth water.

"I'll see you later love. Text me when to come over. Woves you!" Jayce said to me and hugged me tight. I hugged him back lightly.

"Don't do anything you'll regret." He whispered into my ear. He could read my mind. I knew not to go all the way when I just started dating him I wasnt that stupid.

"Go to third just don't go for the home run." He whispered again then pulled back and walked away towards the front of the school to go home. I watched after him.I felt Josh's arm around my waist as he pulled me to the parking lot to his car. I walked to the passenger side and slid into my seat,pulling the door shut. I then felt as if someone was watching me. I turned to see Josh watching me ever so intently. I cocked an eyebrow.

"Yes?" I questioned. He chuckled pulling me in and kissing me.

"Your so beautiful." He whispered against my lips. I cocked an eyebrow as he continued to kiss me, his hand moving up my thigh.

"You didn't think that before." I mumbled. He pulled back.

"I couldn't express anything before. Baby, heres the thing you need to understand about my life. Before I had to do specific things. I got the wrong girlfriend and I had to sort that all out before I could do anything else. I've always been in love with you. I just couldn't truly show that to you. If I could have believe me I would have. I didn't want Cassy to hurt you anymore then she already was. You put up with enough shit and I didn't want to add to that." I felt the heat going up to my cheeks. The guy of my dreams. Right in front of me. And he was finally mine. Even if I lost the bet I'd still get him. He then started up the car. I leaned my head against the window. His hand on mine ontop of my thigh. I cocked an eyebrow as we passed my house.

"My house was back there numb nuts." I blurted. My eyes widened. I was so used to bashing him that I couldn't even catch myself before saying that. It was like a reflex to his stupidity...or mine. Josh chuckled.

"Yeah couples do go to each others houses. Or did you not know that?" He asked with a grin on his face. Yup my stupidity. I thought and leaned back against the window. It wasn't long before we reached his house and he pulled into the driveway. I opened the door and turned for the door. I was used to his house by now that it was basically a home for me too. The whole dating thing may be a tad shock to his parents but eh.. Who cares anymore. I walked up the steps and pushed through the door. I waited for a running hug from his mom or dad but nothing came. I cocked an eyebrow. His dog didn't even come to greet me.

"Where are they?" I questioned. Josh laughed.

"Remember that fishing trip they go on every year? Well school didn't give us the 4 day weekend like usual so I couldn't go." I nodded. His house smelt like apples and cookies. His mom was a housewife that lived to clean and bake. If only my mom were that nice. He then grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs to his room. His room smelling like monster and laundry. And that didn't smell to bad actually. I plopped on his bed. He shut the door lightly and crawled up to the bed and cuddled up beside me.He turned on the tv and my favorite movie came on. He went to change the channel.

"You change it you die." I mumbled as Zac Efron as Link started to sing. Josh bursted out laughing.

"Are you serious? Hairspray? Out of all movies you choose this one?" He asked amused. I glared at him.

"Yes now hush." I said, pointing my eyes on the screen. After the next 30 minuets I felt my eyes start to droop. I couldn't help it. And I knew Josh was just barely holding on to staying away too. School was tiring and then I was up all night the night before. I glared at the tv as my favorite part started to come up as my eyes got heavier and heavier. Always at my favorite part...always.............................


I felt kisses running up my neck. I blinked a couple times and stretched a little. I then noticed there were blankets over me. I looked to see Josh laying beside me. He kept kissing up my neck,my eyes widened as heat rushed up between my legs. Oh no...It was turning me on. I bit my lip.

"Josh.." I mumbled. I mentally slapped myself as it came out more of a whine. I heard a low chuckle leave his throat.

"Finally your up." He mumbled,his finger tracing up and down my side. I did nothing. I felt like I was paralyzed. I just closed my eyes. His finger then traced down my stomach,then to my thigh. I felt my breathe quicken. He kissed up my neck and nibbled lightly.

"Do you want me too?" He whispered into my ear and nibbled lightly.His fingertips tracing back in fourth on my inner thigh. I felt my stomach tighten. I never wanted someone so much...

"mhm..." Was all I could say. He turned me to face him. His eyes playful he kissed my head as he started to rub in between my thighs. I started to breathe faster,holding myself against his chest. His other hand on my back and holding me as if I were unstable. His fingers rubbed harder. A sound escaping my lips. My eyebrows furrowed. Did I just..Wow. I thought. His fingers then traced the top of my pants and slid into them. I couldn't help but just open my legs. He traced down in between my thighs. I shivered. My eyes closed as my breathing got harder and faster. His one finger then rubbed deep in between my legs. I felt my legs shake lightly. My back then arched a moan leaving my lips.His hand then slid back to his side. I looked down hoping my breathing would slow down. He tilted my head up and kissed my lips.

"Just for you." He mumbled and kissed me.I kissed him back lightly. Maybe taking it slow was a better idea then I thought.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 01.12.2011

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