A Match Made In Heaven

Chapter one

-Saphire-

I've always thought how sick it was that someone would name a strip club after a place so pure and meant to be un-tainted. Heaven . Who the fuck would do such thing you might ask. His name was Aj. Not Aj as in standing for anything longer but, just Aj. His father's name was Aaron Jackson, his name was Aj. Of course he was the very item that girls drempt about at night but not me. . . Nope. I thought I was different. I steered clear of his fine chocolate ass and kept my behind in school . As hard as he tried , he never got me to talk to him or even respond to any of his calls. I had my head on straight and my mind already decided on college at the tender age of 12 . My mother always told me to shoot high so that's exactly what I was doing when I set my little heart on Harvard Law School.

I never made it, though.

I was the only child , as far as I was concerned. My mother haad a son before me but he got sent away to prison when I was just 11 , he , Darius, was 15 . Got put away on a murder charge. Thing was though, he only got 5 years. They couldn't exactly prove he did it but they could prove he was there which was enough for them to give him a maximum of 5 years.

So I was really all alone.

While I was at school working hard my mother was cleaning motel rooms for less than minimum wage. And while I was sleeping soundlessly in my bedroom at night she was having sex with men for money. I never judged my mother. She was a good mother to me, she kept it real with me from day one. She always put food in my mouth and a roof over my head. We weren't paid but we had enough money to where I had what I needed. My father walked out on us before i was born but we were fine all alone. Then when I was 15 , my mother got diagnosed with breast cancer , she didn even have a chance. Before she could even look into treaatment, which she knew we couldn't afford, she died. It wasn't exactly a sad time for me. I didn't have time to be sad about it . I was basically tossed awayy like another statistic by the state. They didn't really care where I went but for other people who were watching they put me in a foster home. That had to be the worst experirence in my young life. The woman who was supposed to be my" foster mother" , she was sweet . But she cared too much about the lil check she got a month to really carte about anything else too much. she bought me things from time to time but it was more her buying herself and her husband things who by the way she was cheating on with his brother.

There were other teens there but I didn't make friends with any of them. They were all worse than I thought they would be ; with attitudes so stank I couldn't deal with 'em . And if it wasn't their attitudess then it was their personalities. Id went to school with people like them, the ones who skipped class and hung around on the block doing nothing legal, but I never thought id have to live with people like them. Not to mention they tried to make fun of me every chance they got, even though there was nothingg to talk about. So I always ended up fighting them because they thought they could get over with fucking with me.

Im a mix of alot of things.

My best friend Jas calls me a mix-breed .

My mother was asian and black while my father was white, black and a bit of irish. So that makes me. . . . A unknown race. I hate when I have to fill out any kind of forms because they always ask my race and when I check other and turn the form back in they make me explain.

Marking other should be enough.

So im the" Mix-Breed" . I got the light skin of a mixed girl, the hazel eyes of a white girl, the thick curves of a black girl, and the eye shape and long jet black hair of an asian girl.

Not the im bragging or anythingg because im definitely not that kind of person. Im aware of my looks. . . Who cares? I sure didn't care until after my 16th birthday. . . That was when AJ found me.

Me and Jas had to be having too much fun.

We went to a house party somewhere deep in the hood. I still can't remember where to this day.

But we were wasted. . . Well, I was was at least because it was my birthday. And it was my first and last time drinking. I couldn't hold my liquor to save my damn life. I was dancing randomly aagainst people which isn't the smartedt thing to do in a house filled with sex starved niggas but I was doing it anyway.

And before I knew it AJ had slid behind me with his hands gripping my waist and we were dancing. We had our thing going, sound after song and I couldn't believe I was dancing with him out of all people.

Oh, I knew who he was, everyone did.

It wasn't a shock to see him in the hood but it was more of a shock to see him in that party . I tried not to think of it though and just enjoy myself. And I did.

When the party was over I went searching for Jas but found AJ instead. He offered me a ride but ofcourse I turned that shit down. I was drunk, not stupid. He gave me his number anyway, slid the piece of paper right into my bra. I continued looking for Jas and eventually found her completely sober dancing on some guy.

I rushed her out and we went back to her house and crashed.

The next morning wwhen both Jas and I were woke I told her about AJ and the damn girl rushed me to call him. She was more excited than I was . So I called , he invited us to his club to check it out. Before that I had never even known that he was the one to own Heaven. But he was.

I saw Heaven as an oppurtunity to get the he'll out of that foster home and that's what it was. My foster mother let me leave as long as I gave her my cell phone number so she could call when the social worker came by. I moved in with Jas and started working at Heaven.

Don't take this as a good girl gone bad kind of thing because its not. I still had my heart set on Harvard and I was still gonna go to school. But I needed the money too because with out it there was no way I would even haave a chance to make it.

But that was a week ago. . .

Chapter 2

-Saphire-

I lifted my head from the pillow at the sound of the alarm clock. I had half a mind to ignore it but then decided against it. School was on my again for this Friday morning. If I had a choice I would get home schooled or something of that sort to accommodate my job at Heaven. But that wasn't even an option. I was gonna get up and go to school everyday until I got my diploma and then I was gonna get up and go to school everday until I got that little piece of paper calling me a lawyer. At least those were my dreams . . .

So I sat up.

Jas groaned and rolled over" turn that shit off! "

Jas, unlike me, had already graduated high school . She was 18 , living with her grandma and enjoying life. She didn't have plans for the future. She was still holding onto her teenage years which was okay I guess . Everyone goes through life their own way .

I had mines and she had her's .

I smacked the alarm clock and went to get myself ready. After a quick shower I sweeped my hair into a loose ponytail in the middle of my head. I dressed in a pair of blue jean shorts and a plain white t-shirt with white flip flops showing off my freshly manicures toes. I had a thing about keeping myself up. . . . AJ didn't deal with shit like unkempt hair and nails looking any kind of way. I tried to keep the pampering to a minimum. I was really a blue jean and sneaker kinds of girl but that would have to change.

I found myself over the past week wondering why the he'll I gave up my rule to not talk to AJ. It must have been the party. . . I was drunk and I definitely wasn't thinking about pushing him away . And then Jas forced me to call him. . . He told me about Heaven and I guess it was like I really had no choice but to give in ; all for the money.

In a way I felt dirty about showing my body night after night . It didn't feel right. I felt like I should have been covered head to toe . But instead I was butt-ass naked, shaking it for any fool who could throw throw a dollar.

What a shame.

I grabbed my book bag and my cell phone and was out. I loved the feeling of the sun soothing my skin. One of the good qualities of living in the south , for me , was the sun. I couldn't imagine having to bundle up for 4 months straight because of snow and cold weather. That would be hell.

" yo, yo, yo , ma' ! "

I ignored it.

if a boy couldn't talk to me properly, he wasn't worth my time.

End of story.

-Ashton-

I waved AJ off as I wiped down another table" I can't believe im helping yo' ass clean man. What the fuck happened to the person you hired to do this. "

" well, " a grin broke out across his face" we fucked, she thought I was about to wife her and I said he'll naw. Shorty feelings got hurt and she quit on me. "

" I told you to stop fucking with these broads emotions. "

" oh, like you don't? "

I laughed" that's different though. "

" oh yeah? How so? "

" well, I make sure I don't fuck with a girl who getting her feelings involved if all im looking for is some ass. . . Or head in a quick case. Me and my girl gotta have a unberstanding. And two, because i don't do dumb shit like you. If im Goon cheat on my girl its Goon be with some outta town chick so she can't fuck with my business. "

" what about MeMe? "

" what about her ass? " I slung the rag over my shoulder and plopped onto the edge of the table" me and her was together. It just so happened that I was dating her sister. "

We both laughed.

The thing about having a twin brother, we both thought alike for the most part. There was barely any fighting between us . We was tight like that.

We weren't identical though we did have many common qualities. Both light skin, but I had light brown eyes instead of his darker brown ones, I topped him at 6"3 while he stood at 6"1 . I had a mole on the left side of my mouth, he had one under his left eye .

So much alike.

" get back to work nigga. " AJ snapped playfully.

" nah , man . Im out. Ill be back later though. "

" where the he'll are you going that's so important you can't help yo' brother, nigga? "

I grinned , dropped the rag and picked up my cell phone and keys" I gotta go pick up my girl real quick. "

" who is she this time? "

" yo' this bitch is smart. She a teacher and everything ."

" teacher ? I ain't know you was fucking with ol' nursing home bitches. "

" man, fuck you. Shes 24 . Ima bring her by later at opening time so you can see her. I wanna hear yo" mouth then. "

He waved me off and wiped down the bar" yeah aight ; peace. "

" peace. "

I walked out into the heat. It had to be at least in the 80's . I felt like I was baking, despite the cargo shorts and simple t-shirt covering I was clad in. I was used to it though. Born and raised in the county of the sun, it was nothing for me to walk to my car.

Instead of cutting the air conditioner like most people would do, i rolled the windows down and enjoyed the wind whipping around my head, soothing me.

I had alot of thoughts running through my head.

I really to be going to check on my place of business. I owned 'Aaron's' . It was a clothing store that my father passed along to me before he died. To AJ he gave him the building that he soon after turned into Heaven. My father was a very. . . Succesful. . . Businessmen. One of the best businessmen around in his lifetime. He left us more than we knew what do do with. Our inheritance alone was enough to support both of our families long after we're gone. .

I just had to clarify everything.

I am not a drug dealer , nor have I ever sold aany form of narcotics to get where I am.

I may have dabbled in other illegal things but it never stuck because I never had to.

I pulled up in front of the high school it was 3 on the dot. I saw Mariah being rushed out in the crowd of students.

Mariah was 24 and fresh. She was sexy with chocolate brown skin, standing about 5"11 towering over everyone on her slender legs aand shapely thighs . Not only was she attractive but she had the brains to go along with it. I couldn't get over how I had hit the jackpot with her.

" hey, Ashton. " she kissed my cheek as she settled into tha passenger side of my car.

"Wassup. "

It was too bad I didn't have the same feelings for her that she had for me.

I pulled off. I was gonaa take Mariah out to eat and then to Heaven at opening time.

When we got to the restraunt I opened her door for her like a gentlemen. It wasn't that I really gave a damn about her feeling loved and cared for but I had to play the rold to get what I wanted. We had been dating for 2 months straight and all that was on my mind was what was in between her thighs. She probably knew it too . I mean, I had respect for her for holding out so long but gotdamn she was playing with my hormones.

I opened the restaurant door for her too. She smiled at me , showing a full set of pearly white teeth" thank you. "

Mariah was just like any other woman I had dated . She wanted love, but she was too attracted to the money to find it.

Me, on the other hand, wanted love with a passion. I mean, I have always had commitment issues but that's beside the point. 21 is too old to still be playing the childish ass games I played in grade school.

But love just don't fall out the sky.

" ill have a salad and a water please. " Mariah told the waitress with a small smile on her face.

The waitress turned to me but I kept my focus trained on Mariah.

" is that all? You bbeen at work all day, I know you hungry. Why don't you get something else. "

" no , I had a late lunch so its really like I just ate. "

She was lying. Her eyebrows were knitted together and her smile had drop for a half a second. But I caught it.

I shrugged and looked at the waitress. She was a cute blond, smiling down at me with sparkly brown eyes.

" um, ill have the steak, well done with a stuffed baked potatoe and a glass of anything with alcohol in it ."

" red wine? "

" something a little less formal. "

" beer? "

" perfect. "

She gave me another one of those smiles and I smiled back at her. She was a pretty girl but I reminded myself that I already had a pretty girl. . .

Commitment issues.

But how could I even commit to someone I had no feelings for whatsoever . I only kept her around in hopes that maybe id gain an intrest in her other than whats between her thighs.

We handed in our menus. Mariah was completely oblivious to the moment me and the waitress shared. Either that or she just didn't care.

" what did you do today, baby? " Mariah cooed sweetly.

"I woke up around 12 . I had a long night. Me and some people went out and I didn't get in till late. "

" you and who? "

" just some people, don't worry your pretty little head about it. "

She looked like she waanted to object but thought better of it " okay. So, did you think of me? "

" yupp. "

I thought about gettin' in yo pants , is what I really wanted to say.

Yeah , after today i was definately going to have to cut my ties with Mariah. It wasn't going to work. Sex was all I wanted , money was all she wanted. . . It was pointless. I could tell she careda bout me but it wasn't deep enough for anything to really pop off.

We got our food and ate in silence. She looked displeased with her choice in only a salad but said nothing. I ignored her as she picked over it.

Can someone please tell me what the hell is up with women? I offer her a meanl and all she wants is a starter. I have never asked a woman to stop eating because of me. I love it when my girl eats what she wants and doesn't stop because of me.

Chapter Three

-Saphire-

I lifted my leg and sat it on the chair so I could oil it up just like I had done the rest of my body.

I was dressed in a skimpy ass swim suit that barely left anything to the imagination. The bottom were wedged in my behind so uncomfortably but I didn't say anything. A pair of 4 inch high stilletos were on my feet turning my usually 5"6 height to 5"10 . If it was upp to me I would never wear such a thing, not even to the pool.

I've always been a 2-piece kind of girl.

I ignored the chatter going on in the dressing room. There waas me and 6 other girls. They all had asses fatter than the sun . I could see AJ was an ass man. . .

They were all pretty though. No matter their color , their skin was flawless.

It wade me feel insecure at times.

They were all in their twenties, they all had experience, unlike me.

I pulled the the scrunchy from my hair and let it flow. My hair was jet black, flowed down to about my shoulders silkily. The only thing good about my hair was the it never matted up. I could do aalmost anything and it'd flow right back down.

I checked the time on my cellphone before I pput it in my purse and put my lock back on it. I hid the key underneath a bottle of perfume on my side.

Hoes do steal.

It was 8:45 . I still had 15 minutes before it was my time to go out so I sat down and spun slowly in the chair. Going out there was pretty hard for me. I was good at it but that didn't mean it was something I really wanted to do. I only did stage dances on Saturday so all i had to do tonight was basically play the field ; give dances for anybody with anything above a 5 and do that all night.

I wondered if those men new I was only 16 . And if they did would they even care . Probably not. most of them I had seen for the past week id been working at Heaven. All they wanted was a drink in their hand and ass in their lap. The face of the girl probably didn't even matter to them.

"Saphire. You're up. Come on baby. " AJ pulled me from my chair rushing me from the room and down the long hallway that led to the main club ." I need you to do a special dance for me. "

" who? "

" my brother. "

I wasnt expecting to hear him say his brother. I never even knew he had a brother before that moment so it was all news to me. The main room of the club was spacious ; filled wwith expensive ass chairs and a few tables for men to set their drinks. On the far left was the bar. It has a marble top to compliment the tops of the tables and the floor. Then at the front of the room was the stage. Instead of the usual one pole there were 3 . there was one on the left and one on the right and the last was center stager. I hadn't made it to the center pole yet. Id probably have to have a little more experience first. But I didn't mind. I got jus as much money as the other two.

Next to the bar on the left were 2 vip rooms. I hadn't been in those either . But from what I overheard from the other girl, real shit went down in that room. That's why I was surprised when AJ was leading me to one .

" your brother isn't a perv is he? "

" not unless you think im one. "

" well. . . You do own a strip club. "

He grinned and opened the door to the first room. He pushed me inside gently" have fun. "

-Ashton-

20 minutes earlier ;

I pulled up in front of Heaven and cut the car off. The line was longer than I would have expected. I hadn't been to Heaven in well over 3 weeks. The line had alwayus been pretty thick but not as it was now.

Mariah turned to me" and why are we at a stip club? "

" oh, I wanted you to meet my brother. "

" your brother, is at a strip club? Why? "

" he owns it. So are we goin' inside or are we going to sit in the car and bullshit all night? " my patience was wearing a little thin with her. I definitly wasn't going to develop any feelings for her. I just wanted to get this night over and get home so i could do my thing seperate from her.

" okay. "

I wanted to sream 'okay what? !' But I just opened my door and led the way to the front door. I shook hands with the security guard standing outfront" wassup, Joe. "

" nothing. " he stepped out the way of the steel door" AJ is in his office. "

" alright. Thanks, boss. "

We entered and the first thing in my face was backside.

" damn. " I mumbled to myself as we walked through the club.

" hey , Ashton." The girl behind me screamed to me over the music. Daisy was her name. She was light skinned and she had a smile to kill with deep dimples that sinked into her cheeks when she smiled. She was nice, but too much for my taste. She tried to hard to get attention.

" wassup, babe. "

I could feel Mariah's gaze on the back of my neck but tried not to acknowledge it. I wasn't doing anything wrong and I knew as soon as we were alone I was going to hear about it.

Like I thought as soon as we got to the hall that led to the dressing rooms and AJ's office, she flipped. " why you got to caall her babe like that ? Like im not standing right fucking here? !"

" chill out man. "

"Man? So im a damn man now? You know what? You full of shit ."

" why you in my face then? "

She pointed at me and mugged me slightly" because I love you. "

A chuckle escaped my lips" love? Watchu know about love? You don't love me, you love what I could do for you. That's all. "

" that's not true ."

" okay then, tell me, have you seen my bank statement before. "

" yeah. "

" when? "

" our second date. "

" exactly. Before I showed you that, you were being genuine with your feelings but after that, you were just looking for handouts. "

Her mouth dropped open. " I can't believe you would think- "

" its not what I think, its what I know. I never tripped though because I never felt you on a deeper level. I mean, you cute , you pretty, but you not wife material sweetheart. "

her eyes were bulging out of her head but she couldn't say abnything. What would she be able to say? Nothing.

I walked ahead of her to the office and when I turned around she was gone . I knocked, he opened.

I explained to him what had just went down. We had a good laugh and he said " I got somethin' fa you, follow me. "

He stood up from his desk and led me from his office.

" what's up man? "

He grinned at me" just relax . Here. " he handed me a shot glass of a clear liquid from the bar but I was positive it wasn't water. I downed it in one swig and he handed me a cup, this one with a brown-ish color liquid inside. " take that and go to the first room. "

" hold up, I don't want no hoe with stab wounds and a five foot long pink track glued to her head. "

" come on now. I got better taste than that. Don't you trust me? "

" I trust you about as much as a 11 year old trusts a rapist. "

He laughed and I went to the first room like he said.

The room had dark hardwood floors , light brown walls and a brown sectional that match the floor. There was a small end table sitting next to the couch where I sat my drink and plopped comfortably onto the sectional. The room was a good change from the main room of the club. This was more. . . I couldn't find a word to discribe it. It was just different.

The base line from 'Ass' by Big Sean was shaking the room tremendously.

I sat back, with my legs cocked open slightly as the door to the room opened. The first thing that hit my eyes was a pair of shapely thighs.

My eyebrows shot up.

" goddamn. " I mumbled as my eyes traveled upward.

Her body was unflawed, perfectly sculpted. Thats the only way I could think to describe her. Her skin color was lighter than any girl id ever seen that wasn't white. You could tell by the way she looked that she was mixed with something. The eyes, the hair. For a minute I wondered if her hair was real but I quickly dimissed that thought . Of course it was real, I knew it when she ran her hands through it to brush it away from her face.

She was studying me.

I was studying her.

The bathing suit she wore barely covered anything on her body. I was mesmerized. No tattos , no piercings, no scaring of any kind.

AJ hit the jackpot with this one.

She walked over to me seductively moving her hips to the beat until she reached me.

" bounce that ass ." I rapped along with the song. She got the hint though . She smiled and turned around, immediatly bending over to expose her ass to me. Her palmed it softly as she worked her hips to the song. I was stuck. She had it.

-Saphire-

The song ended and another came on. This time it was 'Rack City' by Tyga. I continued to dance, grinding on him in anyway possible. I was feeling it for some reason. It just felt natural this time around. His hands were glues to my waist. There was a no touching rule but he didn't say anything and neither did I. Besides, he was AJ's brother. If I did have a problem with him touching me, which I didn't, there would be nothing for me to do about it but suck it up.

He looked so much like AJ but at the same time so different.

I wondered what his name was.

He didn't look like an Aaron though that was him and AJ's fathers name. He looked more like a- Armani? No. It was somewhere around there. I wanted to know.

'Rack City' ended as well and I pulled from his gripp in order to stand up straight and turn to face him.

" are you paying me? " I asked me quickly.

He pulled his wallet out and opend it up and began to sift through it.

The bills in his wallet were nice, but I have never been a gold digger, not matter how bad I needed the money id rather work for it than have it handed to me.

I looked at the walls instead.

Everything was so clean and well put together. If I hadn't just given him a lap dance I wouldn't have expected this room to even be apart of Heaven. It looked more like a living room. . Somewhere to chill out.

I liked it.

It was calming, unlike the loud booming music.

" here. " he stuff a few crumpled bills into my hand" lemme get another dance. "

I gave him a twisted look and began to straighten the bills.

He grabbed my hand to stop me. His hand was so it large it swallowed mine.

" don't look at 'em until you get home. "

" home? What do I look like? Do I look stupid to you? "

He laughed" so you don't trust me? "

I wanted to say I did trust him. Maybe it was the warmth of his hand covering mine or the look in his eyes but I snatched my hand away. " I don't knoww you ."

I turned to walk away. " im Ashton , anyway. "

I would remember that.

Ashton.

It fit him.

I shrugged the feeling away that I had inside. I was being ridiculous, he was being a creeper and that was that.

I worked the rest of the night with a clear mind. At least I tried to.

Men are and have always been pigs.

Wworking at the strip club couuld have probably put those thoughts in my head but it didn't matter. That's how I saw them all, except Ashton. Which was weird because I had only ever met and seen him once.

He was just a creeper.

I laughed at the thought. He was the sexiest creep id ever encountered.

the whole night something was nagging me to open the bills, but instead , while money from other men were placed inside of my swim suit continuously, the money from Ashton stayed crumpled tightly inside my right hand the whole night.

I felt so stupid.

But I just couldn't open it.

When I got home it was 2 in the morning.

I was bursting with anticipation. I had to open it. Id occupied my might with thoughts that it was only a few singles but when I opened the wad I couldn't catch my breath.

a part of me felt happy. It was something I needed but it was also something I shouldn't have taken from him.

5 one hundred dollar bills.

The inside one have his number written sloppily on it but I could make it out.

When did he even have time to do that.

I sighed and gazed into space.

I had gotten AJ's number with a simple dance at a party and a few days later I was working for him. I decided that a call to Ashton would only leave to something a little too much for me to handle.

I wouldnt call him , despite the feeling in my stomach that said id regret not calling him.

Instead, I made plans to get my own apartement. I had enough to put down a security deposit and the first months rent . I couldn't wait any longer.

I needed a place to call my own.

Jas came in the front door to the apartment, basically crawling in, drunk.


A few days passed. Sunday had finally arrived .I was more than a little excited . I had made plans to go see a apartment around the corner from Jas's. It was closer to school and closer to Heaven as well. It was perfect. I got dressed in a pair of loose jeans and a pink t-shirt that hugged my body with a pair of pink and white gym shoes.

The apartement was a 5 minute walk away. It gave me a few minutes to think.

I breathed in deeply. The air , im sure, was polluted beyond belief but to me it was the cleanest air id ever smelled. In that moment I felt so independent and so ready for the world that I could see anything else.

The apartment was still in the same bad neighborhood but it wouldn't bother me.

once I got the money I was going to fix the inside of the apartment up real nice. I couls see it. . . Everything perfectly placed and all shades of chocolate just like that v.I.p. room.

I had forgotten completely about the v.I.p. room. . Well , sort of. It was on my mind so much that I barely noticed anymore .

I hadn't seen Ashton which was great. I couldn't afford to get side tracked from what I was doing. It would be too much for me too handle. School, a job, and a man all at the same time.

I was sure he was a man, not a boy. Anyone who saw him would have the same thoughts as I did.

I reached the building and entered. There was a door to the left that read office so i knocked on the door and got a answer soon after.

A black lady in her mid-fourties , maybe older, wwitht thinning brown hair and a jogging suit answered the door .

She smiled at me a little.

" yes? "

" im here to see the apartment. "

" oh, you'll have to fill this out and come back tomorrow ." She handed me a piece of paper from her desk.

I skimmed it over and the first thing that caught my eyes was D.O.B. ; date of birth.

The second thing was a credit card number.

" do you really need my credit card number? "

" yes, its to confirm you are over 18 years of age."

" you know what, " I handed her the paper back" thanks anyway. " and left.

My spirits were crushed.

Of course I would have to be over 18 ! What the he'll was I thinking. Trying to get a apartement at under 18 would be like trying to find Waldo. Eventually I would find it but I needed it quicker than eventually.

I felt like I had overstayed my welcome at Jas's house. It had only been 2 weeks but that was long enough. I wasn't trying to be a bother. And we were best friends but I was sure she wanted her space back. And her grandmother had to want to stop cooking for 3 .

I sighed. It wasn't like I had manyy choices. It was either Jas's house, homeless, or back to the foster home. Those were my only choices. They weren't exactly choices if you asked me. They weren't options.

Catching Feelings

-Ashton-

I shovled more chinese food into my mouth as I listened to AJ speak across the table to me . We were sitting inside in Cho's, a small chinese joint always packed to capacity. It was a hood spot that everybody went to. Their food was always banging.

" so did you enjoy your dance the other night ? "

I chewed and swallowed before I spoke. " shorty was on point, I mean like, damn. How old is she? "

" she's. . . . " he smiled a little. " old enough. "

" how old is old enough? " I asked skeptically.

" 16 ."

" 16 ?!"

" yeah man. But trust when I say she's mature for her age. "

" well any man could see that. "

He rolled his eyes" im not not talking about on the outside, Ashton, although she got a nice ass body. Im talking about on the inside. If you just have one conversation with her I gurantee you it will change the way you think about her. "

I shook my head" fuck that! I can't get over her age man. Im not no fuckin' pedophile, g. I don't get down like that. "

" you already had a lap dance from her! Might as well get to know her. "

I smiled at his twisted ass mind.

I wasn't sure about getting to know her or nothing like that but another lap dance wouldn't hurt.

" she work tomorrow? "

" yup, every day except Sunday. "


So Monday morning I woke up thinking about the lap dance I would be receiving from her. I still wasn't sure about her name but was it important. I would figure it out eventually.

But the name and a lap dance was as far as I was gonna go with it.

She was still only 16 .

After a quick shower and change of clothes I grabbed my car keys and phone and went to go check on my clothing store. I hadn't done that in a while.

-Saphire-

I walked into Kinglsly high feeling better then I thought I would.

I was a bit late so the halllways were quieter than if I would have arrived on time.

I was slightly discouraged by the problems I had the previous day but I tried not to let it get me down. I did need my own space but there was nothing I could do about it yet . I wasn't 18 . Jas was but I wanted my own place in my own name, not in someone elses.

2 whole years id have to wait.

Speaking of homes, my foster mom hadn't called so I guessed that that was good . It took a load off of me.

I entered my first bell class which was math.

The class didn't stop a thing for my entrance. They were still rowdy as could be, some people screaming, others fighting around.

I walked up to the teachers desk as I did every day to get my work and page numbers.

Her name was Ms.Bauberry but she told us to call her by her first name, Mariah. She said Ms.Bauberry made her feel old when she actuaally looked very young.

I could tell she hated teaching people who didn't want to learn but when she saw me her face lit up.

I was the only 10th grader actually willing to learn in her class.

" good morning, Ashley. "

" what's up , Saphire? Ready to learn? "

" of course. "

I felt bad for Ashley . She was so damn young. She should have been out enjoying her life rather than trying to teach some bad ass kids who ddidnt want to listen anyway.

We went up to the board, just us two, and she began to teach me a little basic Trigonometry.

"Unch came around and I ate with the usual person, this girl. Her name was Macey. She was the saame as me in some ways but just about the opposite.

She wanted to fit in so bad that it was unbelievable while I just stayed to the side. I could have been friends with anybody if I wanted but I was more low-key . Macey had lived her whole life in the shadows, doing nothing. She was short, scrawny , and dark as hell but she had a nice personality.

That's all that mattered.

" so, how was your weekend? "

" okay. " I told her as I stuffed a few Moore fries into my mouth. " work and then I went looking for a apartment ."

" did you get it? "

" no. I have to be 18 , of course. I forgot about that shit. ."

Macey had no clue about my job or my life and I planned on keeping it that way. She wasn't my best friend, she was barely even a friend in my book. We sppoke from time to time but when it really came down to it I knew I couldn't trust her like that. She was too caught up in wanting to someone else to keep a secret.

So thats how my day went : morning and uneventful but it was too be expected.

I was just ready to go to work and go home and get a good night sleep so that I could wake up and start it all over again.

I sometimes wonderedwould my life change because i was already getting sick of the strip club business. I wanted my life back, the one where my mother was still alive. She would be pushing me and having me strive to be the best of my abilities.

Maybe I could find a job at a clothing store or restraunt. Its be better then showing my body.

But who was I kidding, stripping paid the best.


Just like ever day previous to the current, after school I went home and aafter a quick shower a took a nap.

Then it was off to the club .

Same as always I changed in some skimpy outfit. This time it was a pair of pink boyshorts and a tank top that was a few sizes too small so it rose a little high showing my belly button and pushed my titties up and out.

It was the tipical.

I pulled my hair this time into a hgh bun instead of the usual down and that was all.

When i finished it was exactlyy 9 o'clock so I walked to the main room and waas immediately being pulled left and right. The room was filled with men all ready to get their hands on something and I was the only girl working so far. The other girls were still prepping .

I picked the first guy I saw.

He was waving a 10 dollar will around.

I snatched it from his grimmy hands and began to dance to the song.

He tried to touch my ass and I pushed his hands away. For ten dollars he couldn't even get me to look him in his eyes.

His hands felt like they were leaving scum all on my body.

It felt disgusting.

It didn't feel like when HE did it. . . When Ashton did it.

It felt like his name and face always popped into my mind at the wrong moments.

It felt like HE , himself , would always pop at the wrong moments.

As I continued to roll my body as seductive as I possibly could , I watched Ashton walk into the club.

He looked just as the first day I had met him : fine ass hell.

He wore a green collared shirt, with black jeans, and a green and shoes on his feet. His out fit was fresh, hair was freshly cut.

Our gazes locked and for a moment we didn't drop it. He had this confuseed look on his face like he couldn't figure something out, like something was botheringg him. But it quickly passed.

His friends that were walking behind him and he all went to the bar and ordered their drinks, all as I watched.

I wanted to speak, to say thank you for the money, or just to say anything to him.

Bu I didn't.

What was there for me to say anyway? ' hey I think you're really cute and I don't know you but I like you'?

No.

That wouldn't fly.

I didn't a better plan.

Or i needed him to come to me.

Instead he headed to the vip room and one of his friends came to me instead.

I was working on my third lapp dance when he approached me finally.

" yo, Ma' , my man want a dance. "

I felt irritated that he'd sent his friends over.

Why couldn't he have spoken to me himself?

" well im busy, " I collected a few more bills from the guy I had been giving a dance to and I moved on to the next. " i'll give him a dance when I can ."

"Im sayin' though, I think he want that dance now. "

" well I don't jump when he says to, so i'll get to it when I can , alright? "

He gave me this twisted ass look but walked away shaking his head.

I continued my dances, I could feel eyes on me . He'll, everyone had their eyes on me, but I continued.

The night went slower than expected. Usually the 5 hours flew by but tonight they drug on and on.

When I finally got off at 2 I was exhausted.

I wanted to get home .

I re-dressed in my street clothes and packed my shit up to go.

The club was winding down, a few girls were still giving dance but it wasnt much.

When I steppped outside it was cool. The night air cooled the scorching hot sun of the day.

But it would be light agaain soon so I had to get home.

School started at 7:30 .

It was always an early start.

" I cant believe I never got my dance. "

I turned at the voice and I saaw him .

He was leaning against the side of the club, puffing slowly on a joint.

He looked too cool.

I wanted to laugh but I didn't.

" listen, " isaid, ignoring what he said" I want to thank you for what you did the last time. You know, you didn't have to. "

" iknow I didn't. "

And we were quiet. only distant noices were heard but we just stared at eachother once agaain, quiet.

what was up with us.

-Ashton-

I know I said I wouldn't but I had to. I was feeling like i had no choice.

" let me take you to breakfast ."

" breakfast? " she gave a small laugh" sure, why the hell not. "

We got inside my car and drove quietly to IHop.

On the way I was trying to figure out what was on her mind. She was staring out of the windoww concentrating on her thoughts and I was dumbfounded.

I felt like I should have pulled over and let her out because it just felt weird having her in my car.

She wwas under 18 .

I could have caught a fucking case messing around with her. But I was going to do what AJ said. I was going to have one conversation with her and see how I felt after that .

" so, tell me, " I said once we were seated inside the restaurant and had ordered" tell me why you work at Heaven. "

She raise her eyebrows" I dont know you ."

" you're right. But im just cuurious. "

She rolled her eyes before she gave an answer. " my mother died not even 2 months ago. I need the money. "

" money. . . So are you one of those gold-digger types? "

" no. I think money is great and all but id rather work for my own than take it lazily from a nigga. "

I smiled .

I thought to myself, im going to like her.

" so tell me, Ashton -"

I cut her off" woah, you remembered my name? "

She blushed a little but shrugged it off" anyways, what is it that you wanted to take me to breakfast for ?"

" to get to know you, that's all. "

" really? So you don't plan on dragging mr out back and raping me? "

I smiled at her bluntness" nah, lil mama. Are you sure that you not gone drag me out back and have yo' way with me , is the question . "

It was her turn to smile " not on the first date. "

" date? So this is a date? "

" its a friendsly date. . . You know , where friends go out together. "

" well since we're being friendly can I ask you another question? "

" sure. "

I thought for a second how to word my question" would you ever quite working at Heaven?"

" if I had another job I would quite in a heart beat. "

I could see in those pretty hazel eyes of hers how sincere her answer was.

Chapter 3

Ashton
Something about her was just too much for me .
Sixteen, sixteen, sixteen.
There was a five years age gap between us, it was illegal. Even me sitting at the table with her felt innocent enough but spotted by the right person they could see the look in my eyes.
I wanted to figure her out, know her whole story.
She intrigued me more than any woman, 21 oor older, and I wasn't suree why exaactly.
She was beautiful, that waas for sure, she had a certain style about that screamed she was mature for her age.
I could tell she had a good heart and a great head on her shoulders and everything. . She was so different but could I really even continue to get to know her without getting my feelings getting involved.
She was beautiful and smart with her thoughts going right with a sense of humor as well. But the main thing about her that was exciting to me was that she was independent. I wasn't particularly down with her being a stripper but that wasnt my choice. I had just met her and I didn't like how possesive I felt over a. . . Girl.
I sighed a little, dismissing my thoughts about her age and I continued to look into her eyes.
She wasn't intimidated by me at all but she wasn't shy, she was somewhere in the middle, closer to shy now that she was out of the club.
" so, " I said breaking our silence. We were still waiting on our food to come in the nearly empty IHop at 2:30 this particular morning. " what's a goal you have? "
" I used to want to go to Harvard but, now my main goal is to get a regular job and my own place. I think if I ddo those 2 things then everything else will fall into place. "
" everything else like what? " I asked curiously.
She shrugged "like high school. I think finishing will be alot easier without being up all night at a fucking strip club. "
" how about I give you a job? "
Shee narrowed her eyes at me" if its at another strip club then ill pass. God, I didn't know you and your brother both were perverts. " she said playfully .
I laughed " no, no, no. I own a clothing store. "
" oh really? "
" Yupp. "
" so how is it thaat you and AJ both own businesses? "
" well . . . My father left us a nice chunk of money and property when he died. "
" and what did your father do? "
" like I tell everybody, he was a business man. " I told her, trrying to keep it to a minimal. I never was to ffond of taalking about what my fatheer did for a living to become so well paid. He did everythingg and anything to make money. He had a hand in anything illegall in Brimson. That waas just it. " so how did you end up at Heaven. "
" woah, all we've done is talk about me. What about you? What are your aspirations? "
" hmm. . . " I watched as the waitress emerged from the back carrying our food in heer hands. I looked back to Saphiree" to fall in love. "


And so we ate, conversing back and forth about nothing and everything at the same time . I learned that she was dead set on finishing high school. I could respect that. She admitted to being a dork ; singing off key in the shower and dancing in the kitchen while she cooked. She had me falling out laughing. I told her I was a little bit out of whack too ; listening to Taylor Swift from time to time. She looked at me like I was crazy for a second befor she had a laughing fit of her own.
She was too cool.
By the time we finished talking it was damn near 6 in the morning, the sun was beginning to rise and Saphire was dead on her feet. She sat at the table, nodding off every few minutes.
I laughed when nodded forward so far her head banged the table with a loud thud. She jumped up, rubbing her forehead. " shit. "
" come on, " I stood up, dropped money on the table and pulled her up with me. " let's gets you home, ma'. "
She was so drowsy.
I should have known better thaan to stayy out talking with her all night. She had told me she had school early the next day but I got so caught up. . .
We got in my car and I drove straight for a few minutes until I realized I didn't know where the hell she lived at. I pullled over to the side of the road and tried to shake her awake from her resting place in the passengger seat. But she wasn't having that. She didn't wait up no matter how much I shook her and called her name. She didn't mention she was a heavy sleeper.
So ended up driving to my place, and carrying her down the driveway and basically all the way up to the spare bedroom I had.
I owned a small house right on the other side of the tracks so it wasn't in the hood. But if I drove 10 minutes in the other direction I would be right back in the hood.
I took off her shoes and put her under the covers and went to my own bedroom that wwas just down the hall.
A quick shower and I dressed in my plaid pajama pants and next thing I knew I was knocked, having sweet dreams about Saphire.
How could she be the beautiful objeect of my dreams so soon.

-Saphire-
I opened my eyes, slowly. The bright morning sun was shinning through the curtains . It stung my eyes.
I breathed deeply and I enjoyed the feel of the silk covers surrounding me . Those definitely weren't the covers at Jas's. I lifted my head to look around the rooom, panicking, before I realized where I was exactly .
I flopped back down on the bed with a goofy smile coating my face.
He'd taken me to breakfast. .. .
I could remeber enough of our discussions from last night and early morning to know that he's a wondeful person. His tattoos could fool anyone into thinking that he was a thug or jus a product of his enviorment but I now knew that that wasn't true at all. .
He was such a gentlemen toward me.
He spoke to me nicely, flirted a bit, and even paid attention to the things that I was saying.
For a second I wondered if AJ was the ssame underneath all of the rough edges. I laughed at the thought. No, that couldn't be possible. AJ had proven time and time again that he was the twin who made mischief.
And then a thought hit me ; school! I had to get to school.
I jumped up and searched around the floor for my bag that I used when I went to the club. I found it beside the bed and slipped on my shoes.
When I opened the door, the smell of food hit my nose.
My stomach growled, for a second pulling me toward the kitchen.
Ashton was standing shirtless over the stove with his back toward me as he cooked.
I studied the tattoos that covered his broad back.
One that took up the most amount of space was a eagle. Its eyes were large and beady . Every detail down to feathers were perfect. The wings strched wide, across both sides of his back and around were the other tattoos he had gotten. I felt likt the eagle was staring at me, watching everything I did.
I stepped forward until I was standing behind him and reached out to trace the animal with my fingers.
" how many tattoos do you have? "
" 32 individual ones. "
" why so many? "
He breathed deeply" my tattoos tell a story. They all have a meaning. If you look close enough at each individual one you'll see little details like names and dates, maybe years and times. "
I looked closely tracing the whole eagle with my eyes this time but I saw nothing" I dont see anything. "
" that's because you don't understand them. "
" okay, So, explain the eagle to me. "
He flipped the last of the pancakes onto a plate and started with the bacon.
" eagles symbolize alot of things such as courage , strength, and wisdom. If you look close into the eagle eye you'll see '2-12-09' very tiny in there . It was the date my mother died. my mother had a tattoo of a eagle on her ankle. Hers was tiny. I got mines when I was maybe 17 . Didn't get the date put in there until she actually passed. Its there as aa reminder of the things my mother was and what she would want me to be. "
" wow. " I bit my lip a little. " that's deep. My mother died and I didn't do anything for her or to caryy on her memory. "
He chuckled" we all have our owwn ways of moving on from different things . Mines cover my body permanently, your way of moving on will ccome later in life. "
I sat down at the table.
" okay Taylor. "
He turned to glance at me with an amused look on his face" who is Taylor? "
" you! Duh. "
" that's not my name. "
" its my name for you though. Since your listen to Taylor Swift. " I said teasingly.
He laughed" you better not tell nobody! "
" okay, okay. " I laughed too. " i'll only tell AJ. "

Chapter 4

-Ashton-

She raised her eyebrows but couldn't hide the amusement shinning in her eyes. " I told you that in confidence! " she said.

I shrugged and turned back to the food. " whatever. "

Another ten minutes and the bacon was done. I split the ffood up onto two plates and we sat down to eat.

Saphire seemed more facinated with my tatoos though than with her food.

" so, what's the one going up your neck? " she asked, still studying me with her eyes.

" which side? "

" your right side. "

" its my sisters name. " I said slowly as I took a bite of my bacon.

" you have a sister? What's her name? "

" it would have been Amber. "

" what do you mean? "

" I mean, " I wiped my mouth slowly and loooked up at her. " she was stillborn ."

" you mean she- "

" Yupp, she was born dead. Me and AJ survived and she came out dead ."

" so you were triplets? "

" yes. My mother had one set of triplets and a girl a year later. "

" where is the girl ?" She asked eagerly.

I chuckled a bit. " you ask too mmany questions. Stop and eat your food before it gets cold. "

" come on! I want to know. "

" fine. She moved to Somalia when she hit 18 . Said something about culture, I don't know. "

" what is her name? "

" this is the last question! " I smiled slowly. " her name is Anastasia. "

" beautiful name. "

I loved how she was drawn to ask questions about me and my family. I found it so sexy that she wasn't continuously talking about herself.

She was different all right. . . Different in a good way.

But I wanted to know about her just as much as she wanted to know about me.

" so tell me about youself. " I said after i finished eating.

" what's there to tell? Im 16 . I was in foster care for a while but once I got a job at Heaven I moved in with my best friend Jas and her grandma. I want to finish high school , maybe go to college, maybe not, whatever will make me happy. "

" would a job at my store make you happy. "

She looked at me sideeways" you seeem like you want to help me out. "

" I do ."

" but why? "

" because you're differeent from the other girls working at Heaven. Not only are you the youngest but you're the smarted and the most mature. Plus you're a nice girl. "

" is that all? ." She asked teasingly.

" yeah, and maybe I might possibly want to get to know you more . But that's only if you stop working at Heaven. "

" are you the jealous type? "

" I wouldn't call me jealous, im just very possesive over what's mine. "

" am I yours? "

I smiled a slow , small smile. Catching me off guard, shooting off question after question at me evn wheen I try to turn the questions on her. . .

What's wrong with this picture.

" you are most definitely going to be mines. "

She blushed and looked down quickly at her half empty plate.

I didn't say anything, left it at that. I had already said a bit too much.

" I should get going. " she said after a few minutes oof silence" I have work in a few. "

" work? Did you forget about my job offer? "

" you were serious? "

" of course. "

" well, um. . . " she smiled. " it sounds good to me. But only if you talk to AJ for me. "

" why? "

" because! " she grumbled. " his ass is intimidating. "

I cracked up laughing. " is that what you think? Aw, poor baby. " I said amused.

" whatever. " she smiled a small smile too.


So we ate, and chilled around my house for a few hours until the sun began to threaten to go down.

Saphire finally stopped her laughing at something we were talkingg about and turned to me. " I think I should go now. "

" I guess you right. " I sighed a bit. I had had a nice time just lounging around in the living room and talking to her. It wasn't like with the girls- women- I had dated before. She actually had goals and a blueprint of how to get to those. I found that crazy good . Step one for her was a new job, then stack her paper up some more, step two was a apartment and then inbetween those was focus on school.

I admire that .

I stood up " let me just go get a shower and shit. Fucking with you I been sitting around all day. "

She smiled brightly. " its not my fault you couldn't stop talking to me. "

-Saphire-

He walked in the back and I leaned back onto the couch .

How could I miss school of all things to do? Not that im mad because my time with Ashton was absolutely perfect, but still. . .

Ashton was a perfect gentleman for me. I knew he had that side of him that all niggas in the hood have but that was put aside so he could talk to me.

It wasn't like he was trying to push up on me or anything either. We were just talking.

It was cute.

My head snapped up at the sound of the doorbell. I looked at the door wondering who it could be.

Was Ashton expecting company?

I sat still thinking they would just go away but I had no such luck .

The doorbell rang continuously, racking my nerves.

I finally got up and walked over to the door. " who is it? " I asked loud enough for the person outside to hear.

" Nell . " was the deep voice reply.

So maybe he was expecting company.

I rushed up stairs and followed the sound of the shower all the way to a bathroom at the end of the hallway.

I knocked on the door a bit loudly. " Ashton !"

The shower cut off . " yeah? "

" some one is at the door. he said his name is Nell . "

" oh. Let him in. Ill be down in a second ."

I took the steps down slowly.

To be honest, I didn't want to let him in . Even though Ashton was only upstairs. I didn't want to be left alone with some guy I didn't know for what period of time I also didn't know.

But i opened the door anyway and to my dismay a man about 6"3 even, with light brown skin and close cut curly hair on his head was standing there lookking quite irritated.

And then he saw me.

And instead of looking irritated, he looked like he was about to try and spit a lil' game so i decided to stop him in his tracks.

" don't try It. " I rolled my eyes and opened the door further for him to enter into the living room. " Ashton will be down in a second. Would you likke something to drink? "

He sat down on on the arm of the couch" what do you have? "

" I don't know. " I could feel myself say with a bit too much anger. So I cooled it. " ill get you some lemonade. That okay? "

" yeah, lil' mama. "

" im not yo' lil' mama. " I said as I began to walk away . " and sit on the couch properly. "

If we kept it up like we were going, he was going to fucking hate me, and I wouldn't be his biggest fan either .

I grabbed a glass cup from the cabinet and poured him a glass of lemeonade.

I took it to him and he was still sitting on the arm of the couch.

" did you think i was kidding? " I held the lemonade out of his reach. " get off the arm. "

" you lucky you sexy , man. " he plopped onto the couch and I gave him the lemonade.

" whatever . " I said slowly.

I took a seat on the loveseat that was next to the couch. I stared blankly at the tv. It wa on CNN. Not my style but I wasnt about to change it.

We sat in an awkward silence for a little over ten minutes before Ashton finally made his appearance. It took his ass long enough. He was looking good though, in a blue hoodie with a grey shirt underneath, grey jeans, and grey sneakers that had blue detailing. An earring in his ear to top it off and the waves in his hair spinning.

He made me feel self concious. I was in the exact same clothes from last night. I hadn't showered or changed anything. I suddenly wanted to get out of there. I was in a room with 2 fine dudes and I felt like what-the-fuck .

" wassupp, Nell. " he walked over to Nell who stood up and they did a lil handshake.

" nothing, man. . . " he started mumbling to Ashton.

You know when someone doesn't want everyone to hear something so they start to mumble back and forth.

That's what was going on. I definitely felt out of place.

I shifted in the chair a bit, trying to wake up my ass. The loveseat I was sitting on looked good but I was getting the thought that it was only for show, because it had little to no cushion at all.

They continued to mumble and I decided I had had it. I stood up slowly and they didn't even notice it. I grabbed my bag and made my way slowly to the back door . I opened it and closed it quietly behind me.

I would catch up with Ashton when he wasn't mumbling back and forth with his friend, or whoever the hell Nell was to him. he knew where to find me. I wouldn't be leaving Heaven if I would go to work for him.

I couldnt figure out why I felt so. . . Jealous, maybe.

It was all so stupid.

Sure, I wanted Ashton's attention on me but he had just recently met me so this was no way for me to act. I must been so mixed up inside because Ashton was about the first guy I ever truly thought I could like. There was so much for me to like about him and I hoped he felt the same about me. Because to be honest, I didn't want to go back to Heaven at all. I was hoping he would come to me.

A few days passed and I was sadly disappointed when I saw no sign of Ashton at Heaven at all. Night after night I found myself saearching for him but never did see his face . I wanted to put off the things I was really feeling. I really wanted to scream in frustration. He liked me, didn't he? So what was taking him so long to come to Heaven and get me.

But was i even reallly ready to try and explore what people called love .

Maybe I was asking for just too much, and trying to take things to fast. There was always thee possibility that he really didn't like me or that he was busy. Those were the only two options and hopefully he was just busy.

Friday came after school I went to the nail salon to get a fill in on my finger nails and another pedicure. This time I was going to get just a white tip of them all. The last time I had gotten such a elaborate design that it costed me $80 for my hands and then another $60 for my toes . Nope, I wouldn't me doing that any time soon. I had to make sure my money didn't run low. Because not only did I have a feeling that Jas's grand mother would be kicking me out soon but I just wouldn't feel right if I blew all $3,568 in my stash.

Once my nails were done and dry I swung back to the house . I need to catch a shower and quick nap. But unfortunately once I laid down for a nap my cell phone rang.

It was my foster mother.

Social serviced would be by in less than an hour and I had to be there.

That was our agreement. I could move out as long as I continued to pretend I lived there so she could get those checks each month.

So I had to go. . . It wasn't a choice for me.

I guess I would be going to work tonight running on a few hours of sleep. But it wouldn't be the first time.

the realization

-Saphire-
The house looked completely gloomy to me. It was the definition of hell at that very moment. I thought about running back home, to Jas's grandmother's house . But I wouldn't be able to run forever. I person can only hide from their problems for so long until they finally catch up to them. I would rather just deal with them in thhe present, that way they can never come back to bite me in my ass in the future.
So I took a deep breath. No matter how hard my stomach was flipping, I knew what I had to do.
I walked up the steps to the porch, swung open the screen door and knocked on the door itself. I knocked a few times , lightly at first, and then when I got my nerve up I knocked a bit harder.
The 3 story house was a tragedy. It had to be builly 20 years before I was even born. It sat sturdy in the middle of the hood though ; withstanding time, weather, a bunch of families, and most of all it withstood bullets.
Macie, my foster mother, tried to keep the house presentable but she was only one person. Her husband, John worked in the day and slept at night so she basically took car of all 4 adopted kids on her own. And when I was there, for maybe a week or so, she took care of all 5 of us. She cooked, cleaned, helped the younger ones with homewok, while always keepingg time for shoppingg and clubbing friday-saturday . Then, when she was all partied out and had a hangover of her life, she would wake up on sunday morning, drink a cup of coffee, and got tto churcch . She was confused. I never understood how she could take the money the state gave her for the kids and use it on herself and then pray about it.
Sick ass lady.
The door swung open and the eldest of the group stood there, hand in his pocket, glaring at me. His name was Fayzon. He was 17 1/2 and he was rough. I didnt like him simply because he didn't like me , it had nothing to do with me liking him and being jealoous beccause we weren't together. No, that just wasn't the case. He was a grade A asshole ; period.
" can I come in? "
He stepped to the side, allowing me to enter. " the smelll of bleach hit me right in my face Macie must've gotten in her cleaning mode. Social services was coming, after all.


The awkward silence was killing me. I had been sitting on the loveseat across from Macie and John who were sitting side by side on the couch. John looked pale as hell for a pure black man. He was nervous too, it was obvious from the way he twisted his hands back and forth.
Macie, though, had an indifferent look on her face which woould turn into a welcoming smile- a fake welcoming smile, might I add- as soon as she opened the door for my social worker Ms.Johnson.
These people were making me sick. How could they go through life? If I did to kids what they did, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. But ii guess the children were better off with Macie aand John than with some other family. Macie and John didn't abuse the kids in any way ; they out foood on the table and a roof over their head but they let the children run wild. Neither of them worried about what the children did when theyy weren't in the house.
They cared too little.
I had been waiting for that knock on the door and when it finally came I sucked in a deep breath.
Macie went and got up to open the door and they both re-entered the room.
Ms.Johnson sat on the small love seat next to me with her breif case placed safely over her legs that were crossed neatly at the ankle.
Ms.Johnson was a beautiful sista with light brown hair and light brown eyes to match. And to be in her late 30's she had a body to kill. But she was a tight ass ; she kept her hair pulled into a tight bun in the center off her head, her lips pressed tight together, with a conservative suit on 24-7 .
If she would just-
" so, Saphire , " Ms.Johnson started. " how have you been? "
Macie jumped in " oh she's just fine, dooing well in school and- "
" excuse me, but I asked Saphire. Now Saphire if you would please- how have you been? "
The room fell silent . everything depended on my next statement. I could say I was a stripper and that I had been living with a friend becaause honestly I was siick oof clapping my ass for any amount of money. But iff I said that I would for sure be moved to a different home in possibly even a different town or state. As much as I hated to admit it ; I didn't want to leave Ashton behind. I wanted to see if he was really into me and if we could get to know eachother better. And I didn't want to leave Jas behind ; Best friends forever .
I sighed , supressing an eye roll. " I've been fine. "
" is that all? "
"Yes. " I all but growled at her. " what do you want me to say ? Thaat im perfect? That everything is the same as when my mother was alive ? Well , for your information, its not the same. And it never will ne. So please, as question that you really want to know the answer to . Ask if they're beating me or if im starving to death, not some bullshit like how im doing. "
Because I will never be fine again whether im here or not, I wanted to say but I had said enough. She got the message . I slumped back on the couch, holding in the tears that threatened to fall at any minute. I couldn't break , I wouldnt break. I didn't cry when my brother went to jail, I didn't cry when my mother died, and I didn't cry the first time I got naked in front of a crowd. What was there to cry for ? People had it way worse off than me so I didn't have a reason to let those tears fall.
" so- how have you been? " Ms.Johnson aasked after a long silence.
I let out a dry chuckle.
What was her problem? Was she deaf, dumb& stupid? Or did my outburst completely go over her head ?
I decided that to get her to leave faster I just had to answer every question, no matter how stupid.
" fine. " I answered.
" what about in school? "
" mostly A's and B's. "
" and how does this family treat you? "
" oh, just peachy. " I said with a mock enthusiasm. " if this is all, I have after school tutoring. " I stood up, fixing my shirt. " Macie, just text me the time I need to come home. "
Shit, I had work in a little under an hour, I didn't have time to waste on bullshit. My social worker was as dumbfounded as anyone on how to talkk to children. In my opinion, they needed to fire her ass and get me a better social worker, but then agaiin, I didnt really care. As long as they didn't try to move then I would be just fine with Ms.Johson's ditzy ass.

-Ashton-
My stress level was a little high.
Everyone knew I didn't deal in any illegal shit, they found it hard to believe because of my fathers line of work, but they still knew though. It seemedd like people were coming to me left and right with business propositions that could make me possible hundreds of thousands of dollars. But it was always some shit that is I got caught doing could put me away for maybe more than a 10 year sentence . And it was crazy that i was actually considering dipping my hand into a biit of it all. I didnt need the money, but I had this itching feeling to hustle. My father hustled so me and AJ wouldn't have to, but after watching him do it all those years I had this feeling to do it ; a feeling that I couldn't shake.
As I stepped out the shower and dried my body, I studied my tattoos. Well, one inparticular that was on my left arm.
In bold letters was my fathers initials ; A.H.J.
It was scrambled in wwith everything else but it was the clearest thing to me only because it was a tatoo that was very close to me. To anybody else my arm would just look like a bunch of ink.
I sighed and continued to dry.
I looked up at the ceiling as if my father would appear there. Strangely, I needed hiim to help make my decision.
A warm feeling came over me as I remembered something he said to me when I was 14 .
He said" id rather you do shit you ain't supposed to do if it makes you any amount if respect or money, than to have you sitiing around and doing nothing." He sighed befor smirking a little. " now, go raise hell. "
That was my answer ; to ggo for it.
And not just with this but with Saphire too . I had been staying as far away from Heaven as possible but no more would I do that. I wanted her.

Changing Directions

-Ashton-

I walked into Heaven at exactly 11:30 Friday night. My boys, Stephen, Nell and Marco, walking behing me. The club was packed to capacity. All I could see was ass and dolla bills. Goddamn.

I felt more out of myy element than I ever had. The whole scene wasn't even my thing. I didn't like being in the spot light which I was because all eyes had flicked to us as soon as we had entered the room. Or maybe I felt uncomfortable because I knew what I was about to do. I was about to confess that I wanted Saphire like I had never wanted another female in my life. . I was 21 and looking for love but I had never found it. Not to mention I thought I could possibly be able to find it in a barly 16 year old.

We went to the bar and ordered our drinks and after finding AJ in his office, he gave us a VIP room to just chill out. I told him I wanted a dance from Saphire at exactly 12 o'clock. And before he exited the room he smirked at me and said" no problem, bro. " and closed the door behind him.

Me and Nell sat back on the white sectional and Stephen and Marco sat in 2 fold-up chairs across the room.

Nell pulled a small bag of weed from his front pocket along with a Black And Mild. " I don't know about y'all nigga but my ass is finna gett high. "

" bet, man. Cut me in! " Stephen said from accross the room.

Sometimes I doubted if Stephen really knew that she was a girl. Yeah. . She might've dressed like a nigga and be one of the people closest to me but under those baggy jeans was a pussy. Shit, probably even the best pussy I had ever dipped in. Before she "found herself" and before I realized that I wanted real love, me and her had a thing on low. The thing that fuckked me up the most was that Stephan- Real name Stephanie- was as straight as a pole. She dressed like a boy as a defence mechanism. Sometime after we stopped fucking, she was beaten and raped and she lost that sexy spark in her eyes. Instead she traded it for what sat infront of me.

I listened to their conversation as they spoke about basketball, and I sipped on my drink as time ticked on slowly but surely.

-Saphire-

I spun back and forth in the swivel chair infront of Aj's desk. At about 11:40 he got me from the main room of the club and told me to sit tight as he checked through an endless stack of papers and simultaneously had a loud and angry conversation with a girl who I now knew was his baby mama.

Time was going slow. I guess it was because my eyes never moved for the clock. 11:55 .

I had been sitting in the same spot for 15 minutes!

It wasn't the fact that I had been in the room so long or the fact that AJ was calling his baby mama all tha names under the sun that bothered me. I was bothered because I wasn't making any money. What the hell was I doing? AJ didn't say two words to me! He didnt give me any directions or anything. He told me to sit and I was just waiting.

Every minute I sat though, I could feel myself losing money. I wasn't money hungry but I knew I had to get it though and I couldn't do that sitting in this office.

at 12 o'clock I decided i had had it and right when I stood up AJ hung up the phone after telling the girl he loved her and he pushed his chair in.

" VIP room 1 ." He said and led the way out of the office. but he went left to the girl's dressing room and I went right out into the main room to make my way to the VIP room.

Hands grabbed me and groped at my body and I did my best to hide the scowl that I wanted to give them. They were just horny and I was just fed the Fuck up. The whole strip club was starting to make me sick, not that it was ever appealing to me though.

I made it to the first VIP room and opened the door. A huge cloud smacked me in the face.

I took a deep breath and fanned in front of myy face.

Weed.

I must have caught a conntact high just by stepping into the room. Laughs echoed around the room as conversation of the people inside continued.

It took aa second for all the smoke to exit the room and I closed the door.

I turned back around to the people inside and my heart almost stopped when my eyes connected with Ashton's.

He looked so damn good.

-Ashton-

The conversation between us stopped when Saphire stepped in . When her eyes met mines I held her gaze. She had a soft expression on her face that warmed my heart.

I didn't know what to say.

I felt more at ease before she entered because of the few puffs from the joint that I had but it was like she completely sobered me up.

" damn, " Nell chuckled. " I ain't know shorty was a stripper. "

I punched his shoulder" nigga, shut up. "

" im just sayin. I ain't know you was down with the hoes. "

Saphire put one of her manicured handa on her hip and glared Nell. " I don't like yo' ass. And for the record, just your girl is a hoe, doesn't mean I am. "

" shit, ill bet money you done spread them legs for the whole team. You a lil' too thick. '

" wrong! Im a certified virgin. Don't get me confused with these otha bitches. " she turned back around, swung the door open and stormed out.

After punching Nell as hard I could on his shoulder I jogged after Saphire.

I don't know what got into me.

I was just in the zone. My mouth was glued shut. All i could do was study her body language and those sexy lips of hers .

" what is your problem? !" She screamed at me once I was able to catch up with her in the dressing room. The other halff naked women stood around staring, waiting for some shit to pop off. " you just let him talk to me like that. You didn't even say anything! "

" that's because I didn't have to. You had it under control. "

" I did . But a thought a guy is supposed to stand up for his girl. "

I smirked . " so you're my girl now? "

She stomped her foot, fighting to hold back a blush and a smile. " no. "

" and why not? "

" because -"

" because what? " I stepped closer to her and pulled her body closer to mines. ."

She glanced upp at me all of a sudden very shy. " I don't know ."

" then technically, if you don't know why you're my girl then I guess you already are. "

A smile lit up her face and she leaned closer into me. " I guess so. "

The Beginning Of Something New

Saphire


So can I get a refill?
Can I get a refill?
Can I get a refill?
Yeah, of your time
Cause you’re intoxicating my mind
Feel like a conversational lush
Cause I don’t know how much is too much, yeah

Thats how i felt . I smiled as Elle Varner sang those lyrics from the speakers inside Ashton's car . After spending almost a whole 24 hours with him i felt completely at ease . We went from the club to Ihop , from there to the mall and then from there to the miniature golf course and from there to the steakhouse where we had a quiet lunch laughing and giggling with eachother . From the golfcourse we took a boat trip across the Brimson river and went for a walk , and after the walk we sailed back to Brimson ( with me getting very damn sea sick ) and hoped back in his car .

Which brings me to this exact moment .

We were on our way to his place and i was damn nervous .

Did i want to take the next step with him . . .

I didn't know him that well , he could even be a killer ! But that was me just making up excuses and reasons not to do it . All i knew was that even if we didn't have sex , i didn't want to leave his side . I had met him not long ago and he was already making an impact on my life . Any man that could do that was a keeper .


Ashton

I knew one thing , Saphire was looking good in my passenger seat . Spending time with her just came so natural for me and i didn't understand it . She was young , a stripper , inexperienced with men andshe probably had other flawss too but so did i . And he goods out weighed her bads . She was beautiful , smart , she had her head on correctly , she knew what she wanted in life even at such a young age and she was willing to fight to get it . Saphire was strong , sweet , sensual and every thing i needed in my life .

Hell , i wasn't sure if it would blossom into love but it was damn sure blossoming into something.

A New Me

-Ashton-

I parked my car in the garge and cut it off . It was quiet , i didn't speak and neither did Saphire . Our thoughts were up in the air . We both knew what was about to go down and if she wanted to stop it then she could but once i got my hands on her , i doubted that she would .

I got out the car and walked around to the other side . I opened the passenger side door and she slid out , standing a few inches shorter than me , her body close to mines . Her eyes ficked up to mines . I saw an unknown emotion .

Was she hesitant ?

I couldn't understand that . She was a stripper for crying out loud . She showed her body for a living !

But i guess it was different .

I knew she didn't like her job and i also knew that showing her body was different than actually giving her body to a man .

If we got in there , and she let me love her ody like i really wanted to then i wouldn't think anything less of her . Sex was sex and i wanted it with her . I knew that sex would not change anything between us . I didn't want it to change anything .

And if we got in there and she rejected me or turned me down , then i would just continue to do my thing with her .

I was enjoying her company and her personality . I would keep her nnext to mee no matter what .

Like i said , what i felt was blossoming into something and hopefully , soon enough it would be love . But i just wasn't sure yet .

I unlocked the door that led to the kitchen and led her in my her hand . She was still quiet . In a way that way making me nervous because , shit , i wanted her worse than i'd ever wanted another woman . It wasn't just her body , it was her mind and her soul .

When we reached the steps , she pulled on my hand to get me to stop and i did , turning around to face her . I grabbed her by her waist and pulled her body toward mine , not in a way to turn her on but just a way to comfort her and let her know that she was mine no matter what .


- Saphire-

Ashton's eyes were speaking volumes to me . Did I need time even when it as so clear that he wasn't the same as most guys I had met ? He said himself he was looking for love , and that he didn't just want sex .

But if I gave it up after only a small amount of time did that mean that I was a hoe ? That I was easy ? I truly wasn't but when I was with Ashton I felt something that I had never felt . Maybe he was just really good with words when it came to women .

He had probably picked up a bunch of 16 year old virgin girls and aftr only a week he had persuaded them into sex . . ..

Ashton didn't persuade me though , right ?

I was in his home because I wanted to be and because I needed him close .

He wasn't forcing me to do a damn thing . I knew he wouldn't force me into sex either . That was my choice .

Would sex change things ?

Was I ready to change my rule of no sex before marriage for someone I hadn't been with long enough to know fully .

I could never get my virginity back , and I could never live with myself if after it was all said and done he only wanted the pussy .

I would lose it .

Something about the way he was looking at me told me it wasn't even lik that though .

I sighed , " promise me something ?"

His hands dropped to cup my butt softly . " anything . " his eyes searched mine in an attempt to see what I was thinking .

" promise me that this isn't just anotha fuck . "

His eyebrows scrunched up but for a little while he didn't speak . That worried me more than anything . The thought that he would say that it was just another piece of pussy in his book wasn't a thought the soothed me .

My head dropped .

" ay , " he said softly as he put 2 strong fingers uner my chin to raise my head until our eyes met . " don't do that . I was tryin' to think of a way to tell you that you not jut another girl to me . I've know you for what , a week ? Alomost two ? And already I feel comfortable around you . I know you're different and more mature and unique than most of the women I've met . I now that I want you emotionally because you're sweet , kind , you make me laugh , shit , and because I can see myself with you - "

" Ashton -" I cut in but he just kept goin' like I never said anything .

" - and I want you physically because you're beautiful . Its not even legal for me to say this but I wanna fuck you until the only thing you can do surrender to me completely . " when he said that , his eyes glowed and he suck his body lip into his mouth , biting it lightly .

I felt a heat begin to grow between my thighs off that simple gesture. And the fact that his hands began to massage my ass didn't do anything to stop that .

He pressed my body againgst his so I could feel his hard dick pressed into my stomach .

" so , no , " he continued after his lip slipped out of his mouth . " this wouldn't just be another fuck to me . "

I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against the softness of his .

First kiss .

The kiss started sweet and he nibbled the tender flesh of my body lip . But it quickly became heated .

I felt myself being backed up against the wall .

I wrapped my arms lazily around his neck and he continued his assault on my mouth as our tongues danced a very sensual dance.

- Ashton -

Without removing my lips from hers , I tugged the flimsy material of her shirt and it fell . One of my hands went beck to squeezing her butt while the other moved to her front and began sliding the tip of my finger across her slippery outer lips .

I smiled .

She didn't have on panties .

She quivered as my finger circled the small nub that was at the top of her sweetnes .

She pulled her mouth from mine to let out a moan . He breath fanned across my face and I instnatly wanted to claim her swollen lips again . They looked so perfectly soft , which they were . And I wanted nothing more than to press my lips back against hers .

But I instead started in on her neck , I placed soft kisses at the base of her neck while my fingers continued to play in her wetness .

she cupped the back of my head with her hand when I nipped at the tender flesh there . She moaned out my name .

That had to be the most erotic sound I had ever heard . I wanted to hear her screaming that shit . I wanted to beat her until her body wrapped around mine and we collapsed into a sweaty heap .

Saphire's thighs shookwhen I pushed a finger past her sweet folds and dipped into her .

The walls of her puzsy clamped down on my finger and her thighs closed , trapped my hand so I couldn't move .

I grinned gainst her neck . " open up for me , babe . "

She didn't say anything .

I could tell she'd never had anyone touch her like I was because the way she was reacting . Her legs were shaking , she couldn't even handle one finger inside of her without being overwhelmed. I would love to see how she would react when my d!ck was buried deep inside her and she had nowhere to run .

I groaned at that thought . Shit , foreplay wasn't going to work . My d!ck was as hard as a rock and her puzsy was leaking and pulsating around my finger . I needed to be inside her . For whatever reason , I wanted her like I had never wanted anyone else . I felt like I knew her and liked her well enough for anything .

I knew she wanted me too , or else we wouldn't be in this situation .

" come on , Saphire . " I ran my nose up her neck until I reached her ear . I sucked her lobe into her ear and nibbled on it .

This earned a wimper from her and her thighs relaxed a little , enough for me to withdraw my finger from her , only to put it all the way back in .

She screamed out .

My finger met her natural resistance and that was a turn on to me to . To think , I was her first and that another man had never even been to the depths I was at .

I pulled my finger out of her body , grabbed the back of her thighs and wrappd her legs around my waist so that I could carry her upstairs to the bedroom .

I placed her in the middle of the bed and quickly stripped of my clothes . Her eyes were following my every movement as I pulled a condom from my night stand and rolled it over myself .

Seconds later I re-appeared between her thick thighs .

The sweet smell of her puzsy juices was assaulting me and calling me in . But I wanted to take it as slow as I possibly could .

I pulled her shirt over her head unhooked her bra , dicarding them both on the floor . The first thing I noticed was 2 honey colored areolas and hard n!pples that sat atop 2 perfectly rounded titties .

My mouth watered .

I leaned down to take her left nipple into my mouth but her hands came up an gripped my face , pulling my head up so our gazes and lips both could meet .

She gave me a hungry kiss , that she tried to control but I shut that down real quick , guiding her mouth a my own speed .

I reached down and placed myself at her entrance , pushing in slowly .

- Saphire -

His kisses kept me sane as he began to push into me . I wanted to cry . It felt like I was being split in half and my hips were pushing apart .

I pulled my head away from him and whimpered as I closed my eyes . I knew it would probably hurt , but I wasn't prepared really .

I tried breathing but as his d!ck forced it's way inside me , there was no real use in that .

" tell me if you want me to stop . " he said quietly .

I opened my eyes to see him staring at me in pure ecstasy but his eyes were filled with concern .

" just keep , " I breathed out again as he pushed in a little more . " keep going . "

With one quick motion he slammed the rest of the way into me .

I opened my mouth to scream but he swallowed it with a quick kiss .

" you feel so good . Shit . " he said once he finally began to move . " damn ."

The pain quickly dulled down as his hips began to rock back and forth at a steady pace that if it didn't feel so good could easilly lull me to sleep.

I wrapped my arms around him and he buried his face in the crook of my neck . My nails dug into his back as he ground into me , over and over again making me scream and moan in pleasure .

After a while I could feel the beginings of my first ever orgasm building up . My body was on edge as Ashton pumped faster and harder , lifting up so that he could look into my eyes .

" Ashton . " I moaned .

He must have known what that meant because his eyes burned bright . He lifted one of my legs over his shoulder and continued to pound into me , hitting spots that he hadn't before and that I didn't know could be so pleasurable .

" cum for me , baby . " he coached softly . " let it go . "

My body began to tingle , from the tip of my toes to my finger tips as I threw my head back and screamed as my very first orgasm washed over me .

Homies

-Saphire-

I lifted my head off of the pillow and groaned , plopping it back down once the light shinning in from the window hit my eyes .

I tried to flip over until i realized my body was trapped my Ashton's heavy ass arm . It felt good , way better than i thought it would . Now i understood why all the girls in my year were always tripping to spend the night over a guy's house . If this was how i would wake up everytime i was in his bed then i was happy.

" Ashton , " i groaned with my eyes still closed . " Ashton . "

Not even a peep came out of him . I pulled on his arm trying to get it off of me . I had to piss , and he had me trapped .

How ironic , last night i didn't want to leave him but this morning all i wanted to do was get him the hell off of me .

After more attempts to get his arm off of me , he finally growled and released me . Thank you jesus ! That nigga was a hard sleeper.

I stood up and sprinted to the bathroom across the bedroom , slamming the door behind me and rushed to the toilet . I let out a yelp once i sat on the toilet . I had a throbbing pain down my center and i already knew what it was from . Would the morning after back breaking sex with Ashton always have my body ready to cave in ?

After i finished , i brushed my teeth and pulled tangled mess of hair into a ponytail and returned back to the bedroom where i fell face first back onto the matress .

There was a shift on the bed .

" long night ?" Ashton's raspy voice asked in my ear .

His voice made my body quiver .

I just gave him a quick moan and flipped over to face him . " very , very long night . "

Ashton looked sexy in the morning . His light brown eyes were a shade or two lighter and hanging low , His Hair wasn't brushed in the right direction , the stubble on his chin gave him a rough look . I reached up and pecked his sweet lips .

Once i pulled back he chuckled and leaned down to kiss me again . " can i make your morning long too?"

I giggled as his lips trailed from my mouth to neck . That giggle turned into a moan and those soft kisses turned into light biting that had liquid heat pooling between my thighs .

I was considering everything he was saying but i knew i couldn't . My body wanted him but i knew if i accepted his offer for more then i probably wouldn't be able to stand when it was all said and done . And i had to get home .

Jas was probably worried about me .

" no , no , no . " I grabbed the sides of his face and brought his head back up to mines to look into his eyes . " i want you -"

" then let me - "

-" but i'm still sore . Baby , you might rip my ass apart -"

He laughed , his hand still trailing up and down my thigh . " You look so damn good lyin' here in nothin' at all though . "

" - plus i need to get home . Jas is probably worried about me and i have school early in the morning tomorrow . "

Ashton paused for a second like he was contemplating everything i had said before he finally rolled over onto his back and grabbed his phone ." okay , go shower and i'll take you to get something to eat and take you home . "

I smiled and rushed off to the bathroom to shower before he changed his mind , which he looked like he was seriously thinking about .


-Ashton-

The bathroom door closed behind Saphire and i let out a breath that was about to kill me . I was trying to let out all my frustration and sexual need for Saphire . I wasn't mad that she was sore , i couldn't be because it was my fault . Shit , it actually made me a little proud that she was sore , it meant that i did something right . I just wanted her one more time - to add to the three times from last - before i had to leave this afternoon .

My man Neek had called me Friday right before me and Mariah had pulled up to the strip club . He said the him , Me , Marco , and Nell would all meet up at Traz dealership right outside Brimson at 7 at night . That was the deal .

I scrolled through missed calls and messages . All were from Nell . So i called him back .

I hadmy phone off last night so thati could love Saphire properly which worked for both me and her .

" yo' ." I said once Nell answered the phone .

" Change of plans , " It sounded like he was rushing around and out of breathe . " Shit went down , i need to you to meet me now . "

" now ? " I sat up and swung my legs over the bed . " the deal was for - "

" yeah , i know but ship sone changed . Different plans . Come pick me up from my house in twenty minutes . "

I was silently for a second - for the second time this morning . I couldve said no , but Nell was my boy , my homie . I couldn't leave him hanging out there to dry . I had to have his back , no matter what .

Saphire was in the shower , i could leave her note and cab fare .

So that was the ew plan .

" aight , twenty minutes . I'll be there . " i hung up , scribbled a quick note on a piece of paper and taped it to the bathroom door with a hundred dollar bill .

I put on basketball shorts m my running shoes , grabbed a hoodie , my phone , and keys .


-Nell-

I heard a dial tone so i dropped my phone on the bed and almost killed myself laughing .

My big brother Neek walked into the room , a mug on his face , and glared at me . " so is the nigga coming or what ?"

I tried to calm my laughing . " yeah , he'll be here in twenty . So what's the plan ?"

" the plan is , you drive him to florence , all the while talking about ya'll deal went wrong and somebody got popped . Even go as far to say that you ready to kill a nigga about yo' paper . Lay the icing on real thick . I'll follow ya'll . When ya'll pull up at the warehouse where the deal supposedly went wrong at , that's when i come in . So watch out , I'm comin' in with guns smokin' , and all my bullets got that nigga name on it . "


IMPORTANT EXPLANATION ! ! ! : sooooo , let me explain . . . Ashton is supposed to be going on a drug deal with Nell and his other friends . so , Nell and his brother Neek are setting him up , but the reason why hasn't been revealed YET .

A Tail

-Ashton -

Was I stupid , dumb , a idiot , or all damn three ?

I groaned as I realized that I was all three. It took until I was a block from Nell's house before I realized I couldnt go through with it . What the fuck was I thinking in the first place ?

My father had hustled so that his children wouldnt have to . He had risked his life everyday for us and what the hell was I doing ? I was risking my own life for what ?

I had all the money I needed , a store , and I had just found a girl who could possibly get my head and heart lost up in the clouds . I wanted children , a family .

So I had to ask myself again ; what the fuck was I doing ?

I sighed and make a right onto Nell's block .

I was ready to tell him I couldnt do it , ready to tell him that this shit wasnt what I wanted my life to be about . wasnt no bitch in my blood . If need be then I would get out there and hustle and be on my grind in them streets but I didnt need to . and that was the bottom line .

before my car even came to a complete stop infront of the rundown brick house that Nell inhabited, my passenger door swung open and Nell hoped in .

" come on , son . " he said loudly . " peel the fuck out . Im ready . "

I sat for a second . Once again I was contemplating what the fuck to do and how the hell to get outta this situation . But all I saw was a muthafuckin dead end . I needed to help my nigga out . Or else what kinda nigga would I be ?

So I drove off down the block , silently , not sayin nothing .

Nell was in my passenger seat livid , mean mugging anything and gripping his duffle bag in his hands tightly . " on God man , its going down . When I find out who got my shit im goin in dog , no questions. "

"mhmm . "

" I dont deal with double crossing , two timing niggas , b . You know this . I cant believe these niggas got the nerve to try me ! Im killin somebody , tonight , fam . " he continued to rant about whatever the fuck it was that had happened . His comments sounded a bit more direct which through me off for a second but I chalked it up to him flying off the deep end .

Why why why in the fuck was I here .

Damnit.

I got on the expressway headed east .

I knew we were going east , just a bit outside Brimson . But that was all I knew .

Once Nell finished his foolishness I slipped in a CD and turned it up until Future was the only nigga voice I could hear . I didnt even want to think about shit anymore .

'finish this shit' I thougt to myself 'so you cant get home and make it up to Saphire' .

that sounded like a damn good plan to me .

Thirty minutes into the ride , I turned on my left blinker and looked in my mirror to see when I could get over . As I was switching lanes I got this uneasy feeling . The car behind me switched lanes with me . It just felt like -

I sighed .

My nerves were jumping , that was it . I needed to chill the fuck out . I tried to refrain from looking in my rearview mirror to keep from Trippin' but when I did , that same black on black Escalade was right behind me with the deepest tint on the windows . The tint was so deep I was positive that I wouldnt be able to see anything inside if I was right up on it.

This time I turned on my right blinkers and switched two lanes . A rest area was coming up .

I just needed to see , just needed to make sure that my mind wasnt playin any foolish tricks on me .

" yo , " Nell sat up straight in his seat and hit the mute button on my CD player . " what you doin ? Wrong exit . "

" I need to take a piss real fast , thats all . "

" a piss ? Piss in your pants . Keep going . "

I gave him a no bullshit look .

I was doing him a damn favor and he had the nerve to talk to me like he was running shit ? Yeah , fuck that . If it came down to it I was prepared to turn around and drop his ass back off at his crib . Cause this wasnt what I wanted to be doin anyway.

We had only been driving a hour and forty five minutes . I would gladly make the trip back .

I got off the express way , and followed the old back roads and signs to a gas station. The gas station was beat , it had two pumps and both read Out Of Order . the door to the station was hanging off rusted hinges and the wood that the building was made of was rotting .

it had a sign out front that said Outhouse Out back .

With one last glance behind me at my car I disappeared behind the building .

On my way , I picked up a old rusted pipe and pulled my pocket knife from my hoodie . They werent guns . But if some shit did happen , I wasnt just going to stand around and do nothing. I would take my chances .

- Nell-

" change of plans . " I said into my phone once Neek answered . " we gotta get this nigga now . He pulled over , off exit two . "

" aight , stall . I need five . "

He hung up .

I sucked my teeth .

How the fuck was I supposed to stall this nigga ? With jumping jacks and a game of spades ? Hell nah . That nigga was jumpy .

He knew , he had to .

I pulled my gun from my bag and tucked it in the back of my pants . Next I pull my knife out and tucked it in my sock.

I tossed my bag in the back seat and stepped out of the car . I looked yo see if he had taken the Keys , he had .

smart move.

That was okay though.

I pulled out my knife and slashed all for tires. Then I ducked around the building, opposite the side he had went.

It was on.

- Saphire-

Jas hugged me tightly . " I was worried all weekend about ya ass ! You couldnt call ? "

I laughed and pulled back . Once we were inside the house , I answered . " its not even like I was dodgin you . My phone died . "

" and where were you miss fast ass ? "

" girl , you wouldnt believe me if I told you . Besides , you the fast one, I bet you started fucking before yo titties even filled out .

We both laughed because I was right .

Jas was the hoe between us , bad always been , and would always be.

I sighed once my mind landed on Ashton.

My weekend was fine , morning was good and night was even Better . It just baffled the fuck outta me how Ashton just up and fucking left . What type of shit was that ?

He wrote that he had "business" to take care of .

I rolled my eyes and promised myself that the next time I saw him I was going to smack the shit out of his ass .

A Big Brother

•Ashton•

The out house was dirty , nasty. Who the fuck,even used things like that anyway. I opened and closed the door and walked behind it instead and presses my back flat against the wood. Forget the fact the there were probably bugs , and forget the fact that the wood was stabbing me in my back.

I had more important things to worry about , likes trying to remember all the things I had learned. When we were young , my father had sent all of his kids to martial arts classes , even Anastasia.

She had probably learned the most because she was the most eager. But I learned a few moves myself, and I planned on using them if need be.

I didn't have a gun , all I had was a pipe and pocket knife.

I was so frustrated with myself.

I shouldn't have even put myself in this .

Saphire needed me , and I needed her. If something happened to me then what would happen to her ? Would she care ?

Would she mourn me ?

Maybe. I believed her feelings were genuine but when it came to women you just never really knew. And that's what was eating me up. If I wanted to know , truly and honestly , how she felt then I first had to make it home.

I heard the shuffle of rocks and somebody mumble to themselves how they weren't trying to be in the fucking woods all night.

My eyebrows rose.

I wanted to set who it was, but I wasn't about to give up my fucking position , not at all . The persons foot steps got closer and closer until they stoped a few feet from the out house.

" Raquel ?" that was Nell. He cursed under his breath and his foot steps started closer " nigga we need to get back on the road. We almost there."

He got no answer from me.

My brain was spinnin a lil bit. Was he to be trusted ? The whole car ride he had been acting strange , then that car had been following me. . .

'dont trust his ass' my inner voice screamed at me. My gut was telling me not to trust him. I think it was about time I started listening to my fucking gut , cause not listening to it is how I got in this fucked up situation in,the first place.

I didnt get it though , if Nell was my nigga then how to he do some bullshit like set me up ? And why would he ?

I had done nothing but be cool with his ass. Shit didnt just all of a sudden change. So what was his problem ?

I shook my head.

I was thinking like I knew for a fact that he was settin' me up. I didnt. So how could I figure the shit out without giving up my position or my thoughts.

It came to me.

I would just dodge him.

When he came around the outhouse I went around the other side and ran to the side of the building I had came from.

I tried to take slo , even steps the keep the gravel from crunching under my feet but that was hard when I was trying to get away from someone who could or could not be out to get me.

But I kept going . when I reached the front, I dropped the pipe and pulled out my keys. When I was right up on the car, about to unlock to door, a car pulled into the lot, the same car from the express way.

I ducked and kept my back against the car.

" fuck !" I groaned.

The car pulled up right next to mine and cut off.

Okay , so maybe they didnt see me, but in case they did , I needed to figure out a way to get in my car without getting caught.

I turned my head to the left to see if Nell was coming. I had to do a double take when out of the corner of my eye I was the rubber on my tire slashed through.

I checked the back tire and got the same results.

who couldve slashed my tires ?

From what I saw the gas station was empty , but that didnt mean there wasnt some hick out there with a shot gun that was fucking with me. And that also didnt mean that Nell was fucking with me.

But I couldnt figure out what I had done.

" where is that nigga !" Some screamed from the car next to me.

" he out here. " Nell replied. " just gotta find his ass. And im not tryna be out in the woods all fucking night."

" nigga shit up ! " the other person growled. " I got two shot guns in the trunk. Get 'em. We finna get his ass. "

My eyes bulged .

Shot guns ?

I couldnt waste anymore time.

I stayed ducked down but started to run into the woods. I was safer in there than out in the open

I didnt stop running , I kept going.

It wasn't likely for them to find me. The woods surrounded the gas station on all sides except one. They were thick , and stretched for as far as I could remember.

I pulled my phone out to see if I had service. I had one bar , but that was enough for the call I needed to make.

I dialed AJ's number.

He always had his phone on him.

No lie though , I mightv'e been older by a few minutes but that nigga was a lot more street smart than me. He had been in the streets more and experienced more.

That's why I couldnt figure out why the fuck I went through with the plan of coming. I guess I wanted to see , see what my father had done , see what all the hype was about , see if I was missing anything.

" yo , " he answered on the third ring. " you know you -"

I panted heavily. " I need your help. "

" nigga what you doin ? Runnin a marathon and shit. " he laughed heavily. " kepp them legs up nigga !" He laughed again.

" im right outside Brimson , in those woods about a hour out , its a gas -" beep beep beep.

I looked at my phone and looked frustrated once I saw that I no longer had service .

I swore under my breath. when I got out of this shit I was going to switch from T-Mobile and get something more fucking reliable.

When I heard the crunch of leaves behind me I picked up speed , jumping over a fallen tree and pumping my legs harder.

All the while I was asking myself , how fucking dumb could I be.

And I knew I wouldnt be able to run much longer when I felt that tell-tale pain shoot up my leg in a crippling pain.

•AJ•

I stepped out of my office and made my way to the main area of the club. Seeing as how it was so early in the day, the club was empty besides the bartender and clean up crew. The club has a twenty four hoir bar. But dancers were only dancing from 8 pm to 6 am.

I laughed at the thought. Them bitches weren't dancers , them hoes was strippers.

I sat at the bar and had Layla , the new bartender , pour me a drink.

She slid the drink down the bar and before I could down it, my phone rang.

I pulled it from my pocket and slid the green icon on my screen across to answer the call.

Looking at the screen before I put it to my ear I grinned. I hadn't spoken to Ashton in a few days. Ever since he has left my club with Saphire. I couldn't see why he would be calling me. If he had the girl in his bed - which I was almost positive he did - then he should have been giving her his full and undivided attention.

" yo , " I answered , " you know you-"

He breathed heavily down the phone as what sounded like wind was whipping in the background." I need your help."

" nigga what you doin ? Runnin a marathon and shit ?" I laughed to myself. " keep them legs up nigga !" I couldnt help but laugh again as I downed my drink.

Ashton was a fast runner. But due to an injury during birth , his right leg would go out after so long and the shit would remain useless for hours.

" im right outside Brimson , in the woods about an out. There's a gas-"his voice cut off.

I looked at my phone and saw that he had hung up. I dialed his number again and signaled for Layla to pour me another drink.

I phone beeped and hung up.

What the fuck did that mean ?

I slammed my phone on the bar and downed another drink.

I sat for a second , trying to replay the conversation in my mind clearly. I was trying to figure the quicker way to find my brother. I knew the woods he was talking about. Those woods were deep , bitches stretched for about two to three hours on one side alone. On the other side of the express way were vast empty fields.

'Woods' , I mumbled to myself.

he was saying there was a gas station. I sighed. There were probably six gas stations off the expressway from Brimson to the next town.

I would be looking for days until I found anything.

I picked up my phone and dialed Ashton back. It rang once until he picked up . He talked , but most of it I couldnt even break down into anything that was knowledgeable. His voice was going in and out way too much.

" exit !" I exclaimed. " what exit !"

"ten. " he said something else I couldnt understand before the line went dead again.

I motioned Layla for another drink as I made a call to a guy I knew , who knew another guy , who knew somebody that could get me a few guns within the next five minutes.

I didnt know what was wrong , what had happened or what was going on. But that was my brother , I didnt have a choice but to go and save his ass.

I just hoped , whatever the situation was , that he could survive until I got to him.

In The Dark

-Saphire-

I plopped down on the bed and laid back, my head spinning, completely out of it. Jas laid down across my stomach on her's.

I groaned trying to push her. " get the hell off, fat ass."

" fat ass ?" She rolled her eyes. " now I'm not moving until you tell me what happened."

I laughed and continued my useless attempt to push her off. Jas wasn't fat by any means, she was actually like a stick compared to my ass but she was strong. Once she got her mind set that she wasn't moving, she didn't. She grabbed onto the bed and held herself down.

Once i got short breathed i gave up and decided to tell her what happened. When i finished she got up and stared at me speechless. I ended the story with Ashton leaving me in the shower.

" i- am- going- to - kill- him." She fumed.

I grinned. " get in line cause i call dibs. I'm already about to beat his ass, as soon as i see him."

She stomped her foot and sat down on her own bed. " Not if i get to his ass first. Why would he take your virginity and then just leave you like that."

" he said it was business."

" girl, i wouldn't believe that excuse if it meant saving his life. Liar !"

I sat up and stared at her crazily. " when did you get so -" I stopped, looking for the right word to describe her." Crazy." I said , voicing my thoughts.

She folded her arms across her chest. " Since i had sex with AJ."

" You did what !" I screamed and jumped on her, pinning her arms to her side , " when !"

She huffed . " Saturday night. I went to the club looking for you, i was worried. AJ was in his office and he told me that you had left Friday with Ashton. So we got to talking and - you know. We were really vibbing and then it just happened- on his desk , on the floor, on that couch , against the -"

I cut her off as i jumped up. " You did not !"

" yes, i did. And then after the sixth time he just stood up, pulled his pants up and opened the door to his office, calm as hell like he wasn't just inside me." She sat up, face red. " I swear , dog must run in they family."

" tell me about it." I sat back down on my bed. " you kill Ashton for me and i kill AJ for you ?" I asked with a smile on my face.

She cracked up laughing and shook my hand. " Deal."

See, this is why we were best friends. She knew i was kidding and i knew she was kidding. But that wouldn't stop me from smacking AJ for her and i knew she would smack Ashton for me. I could never hurt the man i love in that way, and the boy she had been crushing on since our younger days.

And then i let my mind wonder- i wondered what Ashton was doing, i wondered where he was, i wondered if he was thinking about me.


-Ashton-

I tried to keep running, pushing myself, but no matter how determined i was, i couldn't run on one leg. My right leg was going out on me and i couldn't help but be pissed at the horrible timing. I knew it was coming though. The pain shooting up my leg was my sign. I needed to rest, or else i wouldn't even be stand on my leg, let alone run.

I wasn't stupid though.

I had seen those horror movies where the person always stopped running, and that was always when they got caught too. I wasn't going for that, i wasn't ready to lose my fucking life but i had no choice but to find a place to rest.

I came up to a opening where there was a wood cabin sitting smack dab in the middle. 'Five minutes,' I told myself, 'Five minutes and then I'm going right back to running.'

So i limped up to the cabin, gritting my teeth in pain. When i got right up on it, i noticed that the door was cracked so i leaned on it and put it the rest of the way open.

It was dusty, but empty. It looked unlived in. There were no doors, no people, no kitchen. All that was there was a heater on the far end of the cabin, a dusty couch on the right side that was covered in cob webs and a cellar door that was built into the floor .

I closed the door quietly behind me and took slow cautious steps toward the door. I needed to get in that cellar so bad i wasn't even thinking straight. I wasn't worried about bugs, not people, not wild animals.

It lifted up easy.

A wave up dust flew up in my face and i covered my cough as i went halfway down the steps and pulled the door back down.

I sat down quietly on the creaking steps. The smell was stale, it was dark. Pitch black, not dim. No lights. I couldn't see a thing, i didn't know if it was anything in there but if it was i would have to suck it up.

Listening closely i heard the door to the cabin creak open and i was ready to cuss myself out. What irrational thinking got me in this damn situation. Wanting to see if i was missing something, wanting to see what my father did, wanted to just make sure-

Well, no matter how much i thought about it, there wasn't a way to twist it to make it make since. And thinking about it wasn't going to get me out of this situation. I had to get out of here- hopefully with the help of AJ - and start making better fucking decisions.

I had a business to run, a beautiful girl- granted, i might've only know her a week- who needed me who i was actually interested in, and i had my whole fucking life ahead of me.

Time to get it together.

The floor above my head creaked and i knew i had to move.

I pulled my cell phone out and shined the light so that i could see around. I descended the last few steps successful without making a sound and held my phone in front of me, looking for a door, a window, a way out.

Two Kinds Of Love

- Saphire-

2 weeks passed. I found myself crying a lot, losing my mind, trying to figure out if I had done something.

Ashton had returned, the day after he left. He was on crutches, beat up and bruised with a nasty cut running from his left ear to the bottom of his neck.

He showed up on Jas's door step at 3 o'clock in the morning saying that he couldn't be with me, that it just wasn't meant to be.

I didn't know what to do, so I did the thing that any sixteen year old girl would want to do when she had her heart broken. I broke down crying, right there on the doorstep and Ashton just walked away. with his face emotionless, and his eyes dark.

It took Jas two hours to get me to stop crying, another two to get me to stop rocking back and forth, then double that time for her to finally get me to open up.

Jas was really ready to kill Ashton then but I said it was okay. I wasn't about to hold on to something that he could let go of so easily. The fact of the matter is that I was heartbroken.

I still cried.

I still went through the emotions of losing my first love.

I skipped school everyday because I couldn't even get myself to get out of bed let alone march into a school where I would have to put up with loud mouths and bullshit. So I dipped out on that.

But that was the first week. By the second week I was up again, not back in school though. I had decided to finish the rest of my schooling online.

High school wasn't the place for me. It was childish and stupid and ghetto as hell. I couldn't do it.

Friday night I woke up and pulled on a pink sundress and black 3 inch heels. I straightened my hair and let it hang, adding a bit of makeup to my face.

" where are you going?" Jas asked.

She just happened to be coming in the front door he same time I was going out.

I hiked my Nike book bag up onto my shoulders and bit my lip nervously.

Jas's opinion of me mattered so much. She was, after all, my best friend.

She meant so much to me and I couldn't help but wonder what she would think if she knew I was about to go back to Heaven.

Her face said she already knew, and that she was about to kick my ass for it.

"Uh-un," she waved her finger in my face." Go back in."

" Jas-"

" if you think you goin' to the strip club then you got life all fucked up. Saphire, why would you go back there?"

A sigh escaped my lips." Please, just move.

"No, sweetheart, we can go party, go drinking, I don't care. But you will not be going to Heaven to dance ever again, understand? Because I care about you and because I'm your friend I have to put a stop to this bullshit. You live with me and my grandmother rent fucking free. You don't have any bills to pay or any kids to care for so why, Saphire, why keep doing this?"

I didn't have an answer. I was glad that Jasmine cared so much about me to say something.

I felt a hug coming on but before I could encase her in a bone crushing hug my phone rang.

I pulled the phone from my bag to see that it was my foster mother calling.

My stomach turned at the thought of going back to her home.

That was the only time she ever called, not to see if I was okay or anything. But hell, I never called her for small talk either so I guess we were even.

I pressed the green button and put the phone up to her ear.

" Saphire, " her voice sounded rushed. " come home now."

Can You Keep A Secret

-Saphire-

My world was coming down around me, i could feel it.

Jas snapped her fingers in front of my face. " sweetheart, what's wrong?"

After the phone call from my foster mother, Macie, i had went into deep thought. I was frozen. Jas had had to pull me in the house and sat me on the couch before i snapped out of it and jumped back up.

" i have to go!" I said, panicking a bit.

Macie sounded panicked which meant that i should be panicked too. The only two things i knew that would have her calling me and almost hypervenilating would be that the social worker was either at her home, or on her way there. That couldn't mean anything bad.

" youre not going back to that strip club, Saphire. That's not-"

" i'm not going back to the strip club, okay? My social worker is either at or on her way to my foster home. Either way- I have to go."

Jas knew how serious the situation with my foster family was. My social worker had just been waiting to snatch me up, all she needed was a reason. If she found out- jesus- if she even had an idea- she would pick me up and wisk me away to another home and another family where i would have to start over.

I didn't want that. I couldn't imagine leaving Jas behind. And even though me and Ashton werent talking, i couldn't imagine leaving him behind either. I wouldn't leave the two peope behind that meant so much to be.

" i'll drive you. Let me just go check on my Nana and get her keys, okay? Wait here." Jasmine said as she walked up the steps.

I fiddled around with my phone- nervous, anxious. I couldn't get over the feeling that this was it, that i wouldn't be around long enough to see the sun rise in Brimson ever again.

Everything felt so different to me, riding around in the car with Jasmine. It was like i could hear that dooming music playing in the back of my head and i was preparing myself for my the very worst that could happen.

My mother popped into my mind. Her name as Sasha- and she was the prettiest woman i had ever seen. She meant so much to me. She was my bestfriend, my therapist, my support system - my mother. And now she just had to be my guardian angel, or else what would happen to me?

When Jas pulled up in front of the home, she pulled behind a black BMW that i was sure belonged to my social worker, Ms.Johnson.

God, i hadn't seen her in maybe a week or two and i obviously wasn't looking forward to seeing her again any time soon but it just had to be this way. Anything that happend i would just take it and keep going.

Jas was talking to me about only god knows what. The only part i caught was the tail end. " - i'll be here if you need me."

So i got out of the car and strutted my way up to the front door, raising my hand to knock but before i could it was grabbed my a strong black hand and i was yanked over into the darkness of the porch. I opened my mouth to scream but another hand came up and cover my mouth. My back slammed against the wood of the house and a fierce pain erupted in my spine.

I wanted to cry, scream, kick. I wanted to scream ' ow! Somebody help me.' But i couldn't, and i wouldn't, not when my eyes adjusted to the dark and i recognized the pair of hazel eyes that stared back at me.

It was a mystery how he got the hazel eyes from our mother, and i never did.

Darius, when did he get out?

" i know that a million thoughts are probably running through you're head right now," he began. " I know you haven't seen me in so long- I know if mama was here-." he trailed off, pulling his hands away from from me and balling them up at his sides.

"ho-how do you know about her?" my voice came out shaky. I couldn't remember a time that I had felt so scared in my life. I wasn't scared that Darius would hurt me. I hadn't seen him since I was eleven and physically so much had changed a bout him but mentally I knew he had to be the same.

God, please let him be the same.

I had long ago pushed thoughts of Darius out of my mind and any feelings of resentment right along with them. thinking about him was always painfully because when I was younger he was the best brother a girl could have. he defended me, played with me, took me to the park, went shopping with me. hell, when I got my first period I was ten and my mother was so busy working that Darius had to explain the shit to me.

And Lord - I would never forget how he explain the birds and the bees to me.

Darius shrugged." our aunt."

" we don't have an aunt. Mom was the only child."

" I hate to be the one to tell you this but we do have an aunt. I didn't know until I was thirteen, and even then it was an accident. ma' didn't want us to know, something about some long family feud that split them apart before they were even born. she didn't want us to know.I was never supposed to tell you." he said quietly. he looked out into the night for a second before he looked back at me. " she wrote to me while I was in jail, always checkin' up on me."

" how come she never -"

he cut me off. " how come she never checked up on you? she did, always has. you've just never realized it."

" well, how did you find me anyways? what makes you think I even want to see you?" I tried to sound hurt, put off, pissed off even , but I couldn't. I was too happy to see him.

"our aunt, I told you. she kept a close eye on you, I told you that. and as for the second question- I wasn't sure if you would want to see me. but I was hoping, and praying, that me leaving you all those years ago wouldn't stop you from seeing how much I love you and how sorry I am."

it got quiet after that. I loved him. I could I be mad when he looked like it would kill him inside.

I jumped on him, wrapping both my arms and legs around him. I could feel the tears coming, and they were coming fast. but then there was still the fact of my social worker inside that got me straightened up again. I had to deal with that, with whatever would come my way. and then - no matter what happened, I promises myself- I would celebrate with Darius.

we might not have had my mother but as far as I was concerned, as long as we had each other, we had our family back.

A New Family

-Saphire-

I was moving, but i wasn't. In my mind i was still out on that porch in the darkness with Darius but really i was standing in the living room, watching everything all go down.

Ms.Johnson looked different today. She didn't have on a all black skirt suit with her hair tucked back into a tight bun like she usually did. She, actually looked beautiful, and young, and free. She had a resemblance to someone i couldn't put my finger on but it was there.

She was dressed in a pair of loose fitting bootcut jeans and a white button up short sleeved shirt that hugged her cuves. Her hair flowed flowed down, past her neck, ast her shoulders, past her shoulder bades, down into the middle of her back.

He eyes even twinkled in happiness. I wondered if she got a new man, and that was the reason she looked so brand new.

Macey and Ms.Johnson sat on the couch, John nowhere to be found, and when i came in they looked up at me.

Macey forced a smile when she saw me. She looked relieved, just not enough for a smile as bright as she was pushing. " hey, sweetheart, we've been waiting for you."

Ms. Johnson smiled as well and motioned for me to sit in the space between the two which after some hesitation i did. " yes, we have. So, now that Saphire is here, i'll tell you the real reason i came. " She let out a deep breath. " Saphire is such a beautiful girl, so smart, she has so much potential to be something great. But she'll never be what she needs to be while staying here with you, Macey."

" what- i - but, i-"

" you're not a good mother. When you took Saphire in it was always going to be temporary, you knew that. You didn't adopt her, you were just holding her. But i did."

My head snapped toward her. " you did what?"

" i adopted you sweetie. You're coming home with me." Now, her smile, was genuine. She looked actually happy. The smile that curled up on her lips just reminded me of my mother. And then i knew, i just did. She had to be our aunt.

She was beautiful, her hair was just like mine, she had the big eyes-

How could i not have noticed? Every thing about her just screamed Sasha, Saphire, and Darius. Was i too into myself before to notice the resemblance? Probably. But like a drop of rain on a sunny day, it just hit me.

" you adopted her?" Macey asked, shock clear in her voice. " i thought that the social worker would need to speak with me before that happened. And in this case you just happened to be the social worker. Why wasn't i notified?"

" because we have a special situation which didn't require such actions. With me secretly being a family member the judge thought it was best if Saphire was moved with me imediately, seeing as how i have looked over and cared for her for so long. So," Ms.Johnson stood up. " we'll be going now. Come on, Sweetie."

I stood up as well, in shock and in awe of her. She spoke like she owned everything which i was used to but that along with her new look and also her new found place in my family just made me see her in a whole new light.

" i guess this is it. " I said in a confused voice until i burst out in giggles and jumped up and down. When we were walking out of the house i turned to Macey one last time and stuck my tongue out at her. It was childish in a way but yet it felt good.

It felt good to know that i had a brother, and an aunt who had done so much for us. She had even helped me without me ever knowing. Sure, she had always been a hard ass but i couldnt even be upset. How could i? She put me in the hell hole but now she was getting me out. She had to care about me, right? She constantly checked up on me and was on my ass all the time. And now she was taking me away from the bullshit.

I wouldn't blame her for me leaving the foster home to leave with Jas. The home wasn't that bad i just wanted something different, and better. I wanted more attention and love so i left. I would rather live with my best friend than complete strangers that didn't really give a fuck about me.

I wouldn't blame Ms.Johnson for me working at Heaven. That was also my decision. I never wanted to weigh down on Jas and her grandmother. Getting a job was the only option. Nobody was hiring sixteen year old and when i met AJ- it was just an easy fix.

It wasn't Ms.Johson's fault that i had met Ashton, gave away my virginity and got my heart broken in the span of about a week.

I was ready to just get away from the neighborhood and start over. I found myself hoping that she didn't live anywhere near Brimson. I didn't want to see Ashton, Macey, AJ, or Ashton ever again a day in my life.

The only person i didn't want to leave behind was Jas. She was my best friend, my sister. She was a few years older than me but that never stopped the bond tht we had grown so long ago.

When we got out of the house Darius was leaned up against Ms.Johnson's car and Jas was leaned up against her own. I went to Jasmine, not sure how to explain the situation to her. I mean, what is Ms.Johnson didn't live in Brimson? I would be happy , right? But how could i stand in my best friend's face, happy about leaving, only to tell her that i would't be seeing her for what would probably be a very long time.

" so, what happened, Mix-breed?" Jasmine asked, as she eyed Ms.Johnson who was talking to Darius in hushed tones. I wanted to laugh at the nickname that she hadn't called me in so long but i couldn't even force that out.

" turns out that, Ms.Johson is my aunt. And he," I pointed to Darius " is my brother. He's been in jail since i was eleven. He just got out."

She sreeched and hugged me before pulling back with a huge smile on her face. But when she saw my face, her smile quickly dropped. " what's wrong sweetheart? You have a family."

" yeah but," I paused. I was getting choked up at having to tell her. Why couldn't some magical angel just whisper it in her ear for me. " she adopted me. I'm happy about that, really. Ever since i was put in this home all i could think about was getting out. But, the problem is, i don't know where she lives. She could live all the way across town, or farther. I'll probably have to leave you."

She was sad, i could tell. But she put on a smile, despite the tears falling from her eyes. " don't worry about it. You'll call everyday and tell me all the details, and - and - we'll visit eachother. Right? Come on, i'm happy for you." She wrapped an arm around my shoulder. " best friends forever?"

" of course." We hugged and everything began to pour out of me. Emotions i thought i would never feel came flooding out. Here was a girl i called my best friend, whe knew everything about me and who would do anything for me, that i was leaving behind.

" maybe we're over reacting," she whispered in my ear. " i bet she just lives down the street."

I hoped not. I wanted to get as far away from my pain as possible. But i wanted to take Jas with me.

" i doubt it. Look, there's almost two thousand dollars stuffed into my pillow, the pink fluffy one. I want you to have it. I was saving it to get my own place but- you keep it."

" i couldn't."

" you can and you will."

" Saphire!" Ms.Johnson called out to me. " come on, we have a long drive ahead of us."

After another few minutes, we pulled away from eachother, saying ' i love you's ' and all.I slid into the back seat of Ms.Johnson's car, she slid into the driver's seat and Darius into the passenger seat.

We drove for ten minutes until i got up any nerve, or conposed my self , to ask her where she lived.

" i live in Florence. It's beautiful there too. Farms and open fields and nice people. You'll like it. I know it's hard for you to digest, leaving so suddenly. But trust me, it's for the best." She said sadly, looking at me in the rearview mirror before flicking her eyes back to the road.

Florence was a ten hour drive. Yeah, i was definately leaving Brimson behind. I was definately leaving Jas behind.

Darius turned in his seat. " look at the brightside, we have our family back."

I forced a smile but the tears just kept on coming. It was a never ending river that i didn't want to stop. I needed to get this pent up emotions and feelings out or else they would probably kill me.

" what's your name?" I asked m.Johson after another few minutes had passed in silence. " since you're my aunt, i should know your name, right?"

" my name is Silver."

 

And Then There Were Three

-Saphire-

"wake up, Saphire."

I groaned as my eyes slowly pealed open and Darius was leaning into the back seat of the car, peering down at me. The morning sun was bright, burning my already sensitive eyes and irritating me even more than i already was.

" get up, we're here."

I was so groggy, so tired, that i ddin't feel like moving at all. " can you carry me?" I asked in the sweetest voice i could mustar up. I just wanted to try it out on him to see if it would work. Over the years i had came in contact with girls whose brothers gave them the world. They would move heaven and hell if it meant leasing their little sisters. My brother was finally in my life, we had some things to make up for.

He chuckled but picked me up bridal style, my arms wrapped around his neck.

Silver got out of the car and looked at us, smiling. She sighed, a happy and relieved sigh. " for the past few months, all i've wanted to do is bring you two back together under one roof. I'm so happy i'm able to finally do that. It's a shame, really. Darius you went to jail and although we kept in touch - i never would have imagined my sister would've died."

" if she hadn't have diedwould i have ever known that you exist?" I asked.

Her smile changed from sweet to sad." no. There's so much that you and your brother don't know. I just- i wouldn't feel right speaking on it with Sasha being gone and all. Just know that i love you both, and i always have."

We began to walk-well,Silver and Darius began to walk with Darius carrying me- up to the Beautiful two story home. It sat in the middle of a field that was covered in healthy green grass and elegantly colored flowers. The house was white with a light purple front door and shutters on the window. It had a wrap around porch and a porch swing to accompany it. At that moment i wanted nothing more than to swing on that swing and lay my head back.

I could already imagine myself moaning in ecstacy as the nice, cool breeze ran through my hair and massaged my scalp.

So, this was my new home. I would be here, until i was old enough to decide what to do and where, exactly i wanted to be. This place looked so peaceful, just about the total opposite to the place i had grown up.

" okay, " Silver announced once the door was open. " no shoes in the house, the floors are sensitive and i scrub the carpets myself."

I kicked off my heels once Darius sat me down, he pulled off his boots and Silver kicked off her own heels.

Silver ushered us into the living room that had a white carpet, white couch and love seat, a small glass cocktail table, and a flat screen tv that hung on the wall. "no food in here, no feet on the table, no pencils or pens and no jumping on the sofa."She turned to Darius and i. "got it?"

I have a small smile and Darius and i both said a small 'Yes'before she wrapped her arms around us, bringing us into a group hug that had everyone laughing.

" i'm so glad you guys are here. I can't wait to spend time with you guys.We have so much to catch up on."

 

 

New Beginings

2 years later 

- saphire- 

I grabbed the two warm paper cups that held me and Silver's sweet addiction and handed over a twenty dollar bill, smiling at the boy behind the counter in a green smock. " keep the change." 

He smiled right back and I left to find the small table over by the large window that Silver had picked out.  

Once I sat down I gave Silver her cup of coffee and she took a sip while bouncing Sahari on her leg. 

Sahari was so beautiful. Almost a year old and she reminded me so much of my mother. When she was born, Silver swore up and down that she looked dead on me.  

But to me, Sahari looked exactly like her mother - Silver. Silver had gotten pregnant by her ex befriend and when he found it she was pregnant, he skipped town.  

" thank you so much. " Silver said, taking another sip. " so, have you given anymore thought to what I said?" 

I rolled my eyes up, deciding not to respond to her. Silver wanted me to go back to Brimson. She thought I had issues that were unresolved. Often, she said that she would see flashes of anger or sadness in me that I never noticed. I mean, sure, I always felt something inside of me that made me want to go back- just to see.  

There wasn't anything tying me to Brimson. But Jaz was there, and Ashton was there. When I first moved to Florence, me and Jaz talked everyday faithfully. We talked about our lives, her new job, her goals, everybody in our old neighborhood,Ashton, and even Aj. But after a few months, she stopped calling. Anytime we talked I was the one who called her and she always acted as though I was a bother. I didn't get it. I had done nothing but be a good friend to her, I didn't even want to leave Brimson because of her and then she just up and gave me the cold shoulder. 

And then there was Ashton. Over the past two years I had received one very cryptic telephone call from AJ. He was telling me how much his brother was going through but no matter how much I asked,he wouldn't tell me what. 

Really, I was forced to cut all ties I had with Brimson, I never wanted to. 

And now that I was eighteen and high school - which I was forced to attend- was over, Silver wouldn't hear of me not going back to Brimson and solving any unsolved problems.  

I just, wasn't sure about rushing to make a decision. I had so many reasons not to go- a home, a family, friends, and even a lil white boyfriend. That was all well and fine but I guess I had spent so long telling myself that I was okay with how everything happened that I never stopped and really asked myself if I was really okay or not. Silver had a good idea about me taking a trip to Brimson, but I wasn't about to tell her that. 

" Saphire, " she smiled sweetly. " don't ignore me, honey." 

" Aunt Silver, I love you and all but what I want to do about Brimson is my decision. And don't you think I should be focusing more on getting ready for college than chasing behind some ghetto ass town-" 

" watch you're mouth." 

" -im sorry but, aunty, its true and you know it." 

She shook her head from side to side as she kissed Sahari on her forehead. " Saphire, don't forget, you cane from that 'ghetto ass town' yourself, as did i. You're just scared Sweetheart, that's all." 

" scared of what?" I asked curiously as I twirled my phone around on the table, staying out of the window into the small country streets. 

" of feeling."

 

Later on that day I was silently laying on my bed, in a silent house. My boyfriend, Ian, was in the kitchen making me a sandwich- hopefully not trying to cook anything- and Silver took Sahari outside i'm the open space behind the house to play. Darius was away at college- making the house so much more quieter.the time he was in jail he got his g.e.d and he had finally decided college was the next step.He had Been gone only two Weeks and I was missing him like crazy. 

Over the course of two years we built a strong bond like no other. At first I want sure what would happen, but now I was happy he came back into my life. 

The door to my room Creeked open and I say up to watch Ian walk slowly into the room, holding a bag of chips in one hand and a glass in the other. Ontop of the glass, a plate of food was balancing.  

I rolled my eyes and laughed at his struggle. He was so cute with his blond hair hanging just a little over his shinning blue eyes. I had to admit, he made me smile, laugh, sometimes he even made my heart flutter. I found myself praying that he was the one for me. Because let's face it- he was a safe option. He was a small farm boy, w had never had sex a day in his life, and planned to be i'm college right after the summer was over. I wanted so bad to fall in love with him. 

" so," Ian said once he handed over my plate and saygoods cup on my night stand, plopping in my bed. " what's got you so quiet?" 

" nothing." I responded. The next order of business was me starring at the sandwich. Did he really expect me to eat it? I was so stupid. Ian was beautiful, smart, caring, and adorable but he couldn't cook to save his life. He could barely put a sandwich together. 

Ian opened the small bag of chips. " I know there's something wrong because you would never in tor life ask me to make you any food. So spill," his eyes darted around the room before he grabbed my stuffed monkey off of my pillow and held it against his body. " or the monkey gets it." 

I couldn't help but to crack up laughing at his silliness.  

" what? I'm serious!" 

He was just too adorable.  

I jumped all over him, causing the chips to drop to the floor in a mess. I placed kisses all over his creamy white skin. 

Ian knew nothing of where I came from, and I didn't want to tell him. If o did, I was afraid that he would no longer want to be with me. I guess I was ashamed.  

So, if I was going to go back to Brimson I would do it under Silver's nose and Ian and my friends would have no knowledge of it either.  

I wanted to close any feelings I had in my old life, while keeping my new life stiched perfectly together.

Deception

-Saphire-

" fold the shirt, jesus Saph, don't just throw it in there!" My bestfriend Hailey screeched as she pushed me out of the way to fold the clothes herslef. When i first arrived in florence, and started in school, Hailey had been the first one to talk to me. She was a busy body and as nice as she could be. We ended up buildng a friendship- one that was genuine an honest. I hated to say it, but Jas had been replaced by a crazy red head.

I sighed and sat on the floor, and buried my face in my hands. Stress was taking over. If i didn't hurry up and get this whole trip over with, i felt like i would explode.

Looking up at Hailey as she folded my clothes and placed them neatly into my suitcase, i couldn't understand why i had lied to her. She wouldn't judge me- atleast i didn't think she would. No matter how hard i tried though, i couldn't tell her i was from Brimson and that i was going back.

I was sure she had probably heard stories about my city, and had maybe even seen it on the news, but she wouldn't understand. I couldn't take the chance that she would be disgusted with me.

" what is up with you today anyway?" Hailey asked. " you're acting all, 'oh, i'm Saphire and i can't do anything right'. Snap out of it, sister! We have a hotel to get you and Ian to."

I almost giggled until my lie came back to me.

I told Hailey that Ian and i were going to a hotel for the weekend to let go of a little "stress". I told her that she could drop us off and that i would call her in a day or two. Ian got almost the same story. I told him we were going to a hotel but that i was leaving to go back home after he got settled in. He thought it was like a "man-cation". Whatever the hell that was. And i just told Silver that i was going out to view more colleges to decide if i was really happy with my choice. Silver didn't argue. She handed me her credit card and told me to not put her in any debt.

Silver wasn't stupid. Somewhere in her head she probably already knew what i was up to but she didn't say anything about it, and for that i was truly grateful.

So, Hailey would drop An and I off, and then I would take a travel bus to Brimson - with money I had saved up of course. I want stupid enough to use Silver's credit card.

I would only be spending about a day and a half in Brimson because of the long drive must that was more than enough time for me regroup and get myself together.

Hailey snapped her fingers in my face. " get up. we have to go get Ian so we can make it before 12 o'clock.

It was Friday, exactly 10 in the morning and the hotel was an hour out of town. It was supposed to be a resort of some sort but I want too sure about that. And I wasn't sticking around to find out either.

-----

The bus was crowded, smelly, and dirty, but it would do the trick I guess. the woman beside me was a nervous wreck, clicking her tongue and looking around every few seconds. I couldn't help but think that riding on the roof would be better than this shit.

The bus pulled out of the station at 11:45. Right on schedule.

"this is your driver," says a man over the intercom in a raspy voice. " next stop, Wilton. We will arrive in three hours. There, you will be switching buses depending on your personal destination. Enjoy the ride, and thank you for choosing BlueMuth bus station."

I was happy when I heard a small click, signaling that he had shut up. Quite Franky, I knew everything I needed to know about getting to where I needed to go. I didn't need some greasy bus driver telling me-

The woman me tapped my shoulder, making me jump in surprise. I clutched my bag closer to my chest as I glared over at her.

" you shouldn't interrupt people who ate in their personal thoughts." I snapped.

She listed her left eyebrow, glanced around before leaving in toward me. " and you ought to not have your head shoved so far up your hoo-ha , little girl. it's not pretty."

" whatever."

I was just stressed out, on edge. I didn't not have my head shoved up my - you know what.

I glanced at my phone a while later to see that it was only twelve o'clock. damn, it was just hitting evening. I still had an right hour travel until I reached Brimson.

I closed my eyes thinking, maybe I'll just take a quick nap.

------ 

" ma'am." I felt myself being shaken awake. I sucked my teeth and opened my eyes to see the driver standing over me. " you have to get off the bus. We're in Wilton ma'am."

I stood up, stretching as much as I could before I stepped off the bus, my tote bag still hanging on my arm along with my small purse.

To be truthful, I thought that someone would have snatched my shit while I was sleep. I was glad no one had tried it though, because I really was not in the mood.

Two Plus Two Equals Four

 

-Ashton-

I smiled holding up my one year old daughter Shy. She was just smiling way as she used her soft hands to pinch my cheeks and shit. " look at daddy's princess." i cooed.

My little sister Anastasia walked into the living room rocking Shy's twin, Shawn in her arms. Anastasia had gotten back from Somalia a year ago- right when my twins were born- and moved in with me, which i didn't mind. It was nice having her around, especially when i had the kids. She was a mother herself, but her son had died from Malaria when he was just a baby.

" please," Anastasia sat Shawn on the couch right next to me. " get him. I know you hear someody knockin' at the door."

" well, now that you mention it-" I pulled Shy in close to my body, pretending to listen. " nope, i don't hear anything."

She knocked me upside my head, making me laugh and went to answer the door. I was curious to know who it was, Anastasia was standing directly in my line of view. I could hear her talking to somebdy though as i played with my kids.

" - he's busy and- who are you- can't talk- no visitors." And then she slammes the door and came into the living room to plop on he loveseat.

I placed Shy and Shawn on the floor so that they could play together. " who was at the door."

" oh, some girl." She rolled her eyes. " i ain't know you was still messin' with these hoes."

" ion mess with no hoes, and even if i did they wouldn't know where i lived."

" yeah right! You should have seen the clothes this girl had on. Them shorts was shoved so far up her crotch any man would give her their bank account information."

I laughed." you stupid, Asia.What she look like."

" why you care. Dang. She had light skin, hazel eyes, this long silky jet black hair- she was beautiful.I'm not sure how you got her ass."

My head snapped from watching my kids to her direction." you sure she had hazel eyes."

" yeah, how could i not be sure. They were so bright, and-"

" can you watch the kids a minute." I asked her. Well, really, i told her. Thatface, it just sounded so familiar. I was sure when i saw it, it would probably all come rushing bac to me. Something was just pushing me to figure out who the woman was that had came knocking at my door so early on a Saturday morning.

 

-Saphire-

The woman slammed the door in my face and i couldn't help but feel a little taken back. There i was, standing on Ashton's porch, trying to make a mends or whatever the hell i was supposed to do, and i was gettin' treated rudely. I didn't even know ol' girl for her to be doin' all that to me.

I walked to the edge of Ashton's green lawn and turned my back to the house sso that i could watch the passing cars.

I pulled my phone out and dialed the number to Ian's hotel room. He answered on the second ring. " Ian speaking."

I giggled. ' why you gotta sound like some old white man."

" practice. In about 30 years i will be a old white man. I might as well get used to it."

I laughed again. " oh, whatever. So how is your ma-cation."

" great!" He exclaimed like a child. " do you know, that they give full body massages in the spa downstairs."

" boy you betta not be lettin'' them lil' girls touch all on you."

He paused for a minute before he rushedme off the phone, saying that he had a pedicure lined up.I said whatever and hung up, shoving my phone back into my pocket.

I swear, this neightborhood was nice, nothing like the quiet farm ground that Silver owned but it was nice. Quiet. People were getting their mail, and walking their dogs. I could remember when Ashton first broguht me to his house, i was in love witht he neighborhood, in love with the nice spacious house- in love with him. I probably would have followed his ass to the end of the earth, before he broke up with me.

" Saphire."

Damn, his voice wwas like silk when it hit my ears. It had me ready to practically lay up with the boy, but of course, that wasn't about to happen.

I turned around to face Ashton and he looked even better than i remembered. His body was more "grown man", more sculpted. His face was harder, stronger. His brown eyes were shinning, but somehow they were darker.

" nice to see you, Ashton." I said.

" what you doin' here, Saphire. I ain't seen yo' ass in ova' two years"

" and i didn't have any plans on coming back, either. It's just- do you even know why i left."

" yeah, i know everything." He folded his arms across his chest. " i talked to Jas. A wekk after i broke up with you i went to appologize and explain eveything. I was goin' through it,everything was crazy. When i knocked on the door, Jas answered and she told me what was up."

" have you spoken to Jas."

He paused for a moment beofre taking a few steps back. " i'm goin' to go back inside, my kids are probably lookin' for me.You should go."

I grabbed his arm to keep him from leaving. " kids. wait, have you spoken to her- i mean- what's goin' on. I came back for closeure, to get everything on my mind resolved. Can you please, just tell me everything."

Ashton pulled away from me again as a car pulled into his driveway. " Jas is dead." That shocked me into silence.

When the car cut off, Ashton went to open the car door and i was shocked at who stepped out. " Mariah." I asked in shock.

Mariah was my tenth grade math teacher. And damn was i shocked to see her in Ashton's driveway. Was she the one who had given Ashton, "kids".

Mariah looked at me and smiled. " oh, Saphire, hey sweetheart, i haven't seen you in god knows how long. How are you."

" i'm fine. What are you doin' here."

" what are you doin' here."

" i'm here to see Ashton. I said, declaring that shit like it meant something, like he was my man who had been cheating on me.

" so am i, how do you know him."

" ex boyfriend. what about you."

Mriah turned her head to stare at Ashton like he had fucked up. " he's my fiance."

 

 

Grave Encounters

 

-saphire-

" so," MAriah slammed her car door and secured her purse on her shoulder. " I didn't know you were a pedophile, Ashton. Dating my student to get back at me is a bit childish of you so I guess you guys are actually on the same level."

I rolled my eyes. " don't talk to him like that. you actin like you own him."

" I might not own him, but I'm closer than you'll ever be." she waved her left hand in my face showing off a diamond ring. the shit was huge, had my was squinting when it caught light.

" a ring don't make you a wife."

She smiled and sighed. " but cleaning up, and taking care of him and his children does. God knows I never wanted kids."

" then why didn't you close ya damn legs then, Mariah. Ain't nobody tell you to lay up with Ashton without a condom. Stupid."

" and that, is where you're mistaken. I have no children, little girl." She grabbed Ashton' s hand and they walked into the house. Ashton didn't even look at me, didn't look back at me. I couldn't believe I actually liked her funny lookin ass when I was in school. She seemed so different in class. But now, she just seemed stuck up and overly possessive.

her ass made my skin itch.

I flipped my hair over my shoulder. what was my next move? that chapter with Ashton was obviously closed. I mean-not that I was trying to- you know, get him back. when I saw him I just thought, maybe. but that was clearly a stupid thought. I had Ian, someone who loved and cherished me. What the hell could I have possibly been thinking.

AJ!

I could go visit AJ ass.

I went back to my hotel, that was only 2 blocks from Ashton, in the same neighborhood. It was pretty nice, bit cheap, which was all I cared about. I changed in a summer dress and chucks and caught a cab to Heaven.

It looked odd to me, but exactly the same. Something about the way it made me feel just standing in the parking lot had me ready to leave. But I stuck to it. Hell, I didn't put $23.45 in that cab drivers hand for nothing.

The bouncer was the same. His nasty behind called me a pretty girl and let me pass, not before giving me a pat on my butt. Nasty, is what I wanted to scream at him. He had his eyes trained solely on me and I was sick by it.

Completely and utterly sick.

I couldn't remember him being so much like a animal!

when I walked in the doors though I didn't see anybody I knew. All the dancers were different, as well as the servers and the bartender.

And something I noticed was the fact that they all looked young as he'll. Like way younger than I looked when I worked there.

The dancers were looking at me like I was there to replace them while they shook their asses to the beat. uhun, no boo. You couldn't pay me to take that many steps back. Besides, I didn't need the money. Although it was good money, it just wasn't worth exposing myself.

Over the years I learned to accept my body for exactly what it was- my temple. I was special,my body was special, and if everyman saw it and conquered it then what was really special about it.

Yupp, Silver taught me that.

" come in!" A voice screamed from the inside. It was a woman's voice though.

I opened the door to find a woman sitting behind AJ' s desk, counting money like she owned the place. What was up with these miscellaneous women popping up. She looked up at me with a hard face. " and who are you?"

" I'm Saphire. " I said a bit slowly, taken aback by her tone. " I'm looking for AJ."

" what you need with him? Shouldn't yo ass be out there dancin or something? or changin yo clothes."

" Oh no, sweetheart, I don't dance! you might have me confused wit yaself. But where is AJ?"

She rolled her eyes right when I heard a toilet flush behind the door to my left. " He in the bathroom, duh."

" girl you got a smart-"

The door to the bathroom swung open and AJ stepped out, walking like he couldn't really get his footing with these glassy eyes. 'crackhead' was the first word to come to mind. I didn't know a thing about drugs or how they worked or even what they looked like but I had been around the block a few times. Enough times to shake my head in distaste.

" remember me, AJ?"

His eyes zeroed in on me and he gave me this goofy smile. " aw shit! If it ain't my favorite girl, Saphire."

I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. " You need to stop."

" I'm just sayin. You brought in more money than any of these hoes ever could." The girl behind the desk sucked her teeth. " so, what brings you by?"

" um, I was wondering if you could help me find Jas. I went to see Ashton and he said -"

" get out." His face hardened.

" what?"

" get out! Did I stutter?" His eyebrows raised. I didn't know what to say. His moods changed too fast for me to comprehend. I couldn't even move until he yelled at me. " out! now! And don't come back!"

Heartbreak Hotel

 

-Saphire-

I pulled my hair up into a loose bun and began to strip out of my clothes. I was so fuckin irritated and confused and tired- my God.

Ashton was actin like a little lost puppy, following behind Mariah. It didn't seem like he minded much to be strung along like I had seen her do him but whatever.

And then AJ-! For my last few months in Brimson I was a stripper, his stripper, but he had never so much as risen his voice at me but now all of a sudden he was treating me like his enemy. You heard him, I made more money for him than any of the other girls.

I didn't even care about what was going on in that city anymore, I just wanted to go home and forget this whole trip. Maybe I was fine, maybe Silver didn't know what the hell she was talking about.

I hummed to myself quietly as I turned the hot water on to run a bath. I only used a little cold.

I was going to punish myself for coming back to this stupid was place. Silver and her oh so wise behind and just convinced me that I needed to do something or close a chapter in my life. Stupid, right?

There was a knock on the door making me roll my eyes. I ordered room service, but I told them the specific time to bring it. After I had scrubbed my skin for a good two hours, then I would eat, but not before.

" coming." I grabbed my robe from across the bed and put it on, making sure to tie it up.

I was going to snatch the door open, give them my meanest look I could muster, and tell them off. Hmmph.

" I said three hours you fucking-" I cleared my throat. " Oh- it's you."

Ashton shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pants pockets. " Yeah, who was you expectin talkin like that?"

" nobody." I rolled my eyes. " what are you doing here and how sinuous find me?"

" I mean, twenty dollars can get you pretty far sometimes. "

" okay, so, one question down, one to go. Why are you here."

" look," his face clouded over. " after you left my house earlier I just started to feel like there were some things I needed to explain to you. Mariah would probably disagree but - can I come in?"

" no, but you can have five minutes. Go!"

Ashton sighed. " the day we fucked, I got a call from my boy. He needed help with something, a trip out of town to take care of some business. Originally the trip was scheduled for a few days later but he called me that morning with an urgency that I just couldn't refuse. Long story short, it was a set up. He and his brother got me out into the woods to kill me. I ran, I call AJ- shit. " His jaw twitched. " I killed a man that day. Turns out, they had set me up because my father had killed their father. I didn't know a thing about that but-"

" 4 minutes."

" I was going through a lot, I mean, taking a life! I broke up with you, but the next day I went back by jas' s house to tell you I was sorry but you were already gone. I was talking to Jasmine and - shit, we fucked, I'm not gone lie. We had sex and she got pregnant. Aj was pissed. I guess they fucked around once or twice before and he felt some kind of betrayal from me even though I didn't know. "

" 3 minutes." It was hard to hide my shock from the things that he was telling me.

He had killed somebody?

He had had sex with Jas?

" when Jas was six months pregnant he kidnapped her. Well, he took her to his club. The sick fucker had her tied up to a chair, forcing liquor down her throat. She went into labor. By the time I showed up one child was already out, laying completely still on the floor and AJ was still giving her alcohol. I beat his ass, he ran and I called for a ambulance. Jas was dead before they got there but thank God my babies made it."

He and Jas had babies?

" 2 minutes."

" Mariah came along. We had already dated before me and you and I knew that all she wanted was money. She want my money and I want somebody to help me raise my children."

But why would you settle for somebody who doesn't give a damn about you? There are plenty of good women out there for you to settle for a damn golddigger.

" is that all?" I asked. My voice was forced, I could barely get that to come out because I just felt so much. Maybe I was better off not knowing because this did not feel good at all.

" Yeah, I-"

I slammed the door in his face and locked it.

Ian was safe. He would never sleep with my best friend, he was safe. I needed safe. I didn't need Ashton.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 20.03.2012

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