Author's Note

 

 

 

 

Hello Everyone, 

 

I tried to post this book chapter by chapter, however, it's taking alot to do so. I hope you guys are enjoying the story of Jordan and Denise as much as I did when I wrote it. I will let you read it for free, but if you love the book and are interested in purchasing it or even reviewing it for other readers, I would greatly appreciate it if any of you would be willing to do so.

 

Thank you, 

Navaura~

Chapter Twenty Five: Gossip

They were talking about her. This she could tell by the various points in her direction, the giggles and the side glances of confusion students sent her way. She guessed it was true about what happened in small towns. There was an infestation of gossip.

Three weeks after she'd broken up with Jordan, she stood in the center of aisle six, packing strawberry preserves on one of the shelves. She was deeply engrossed in her work, trying desperately to not think of him, when Quinton came up to her, forthright.

"So..." He leaned against the shelf she was working on. "I heard you and Jordan broke up."

Denise shrugged and continued on without a word.

"Why?"

Silence.

Quinton, seeming to not care about whether or not she wanted to talk about it, sighed. "Did he cheat?" He guessed. She continued on.

"Is he secretly gay?”

Denise had to laugh at the enthusiasm in his tone.

"Ok, obviously that was wrong. Well, what could possibly cause a couple to break up? He quarried over this. When no answer came, he sighed. "I've got to do an inventory for the last items Delivered, so I'll be back later and we will settle this." He left. Sighing, she went back to the preserves.

Later that day, Quinton, true to his word, came back to her and began his conquest again. "I think I know what it is."

Denise, who had fifteen minutes before the end of her shift, looked up at him silent.

"You broke up with him because you are scared that he wants to use you for sex."

Denise lifted a brow, how had he guessed that one?

Quinton smiled, knowing that he was right. "The most frequented reason for couples breaking up in high school usually involves sex and if you weren't putting out, then it had to do with holding it in."

Denise sighed. "What's your point?" Hearing her voice for the first time that day, sounded sort of strange.

Quinton's smile became wider, "I can't believe I was right. Wow. I didn't get any further than that."

Denise sighed. "Well, don't think I'm going to talk to you because I'm not, and this is my business anyway. Why does everyone have to stay in it?"

Quinton laughed. "It's because of the publicity between you and sherry. If you'd never butted heads with her, then people wouldn't care one way or another, but face it honey, you're a celebrity."

Denise scowled at him.

"You know, you're a lot nicer when you're with Jordan."

Denise shook her head irritated. How many times over the past three weeks had she heard his name? She wasn't sure, but in all six of her classes, plus throughout the three weeks, in the hallways were driving her nuts.

"So, what made you break up with him?" Quinton inquired.

Denise sighed. "I have to go now. My shift just ended."

Quinton shook his head no. “You can't leave yet. Come into my office and we'll talk."

Denise cleared her throat. "I don't want to talk."

"Aww, come on girl, it's been three weeks and you haven't said one word about what happened. You can't tell me that nothing's wrong."

Denise sighed. "You know, Quin, I just want to go home." Her voice was soft, delicate. Quinton's smile was replaced with a frown. "Alright, De, just take care of yourself, ok?"

Denise waved at him as she left the store. She got in the car, turned up the heat, and backed out of the parking lot. The sun was just going down. Pushing a button located on the steering wheel, the lights came on.

Jordan held the phone in his hand, thinking about whether or not he should call her. He wanted to. He needed to. He hadn't talked to her in four weeks and found it difficult to not call and beg her to come back. After a few minutes of deliberation, he put the phone back on the hook. He wondered if she was thinking about him. He wanted to be with her badly. He felt like just going to her house and getting down on his knees, begging her to take him back, but his pride wouldn't let him. Swallowing, he closed his eyes and sighed. The sound of his heart pounding. He wondered when this would stop. When would missing her and wanting to be with her go away? He exhaled loudly, feeling fatigued, and got into his bed.

Denise sighed and stared at his picture. She had awoken sometime early in the morning, with no particular reason. She stared in awe at the handsome face photographed so beautifully. This picture had been taken a year ago, around the time they'd been at the fair. She smiled remembering this event. They'd been out for the first time, on an actual date, and it had been during the stint of her relationship with Lamont. She sighed, things were less complicated than that. Though she'd been intrigued with him, she hadn't been in love. They were just two sophomores having more than their fair share of fun. The picture had been snapped by Tanya, who'd caught him stroking her chin. She had been gazing up into his eyes, smiling. Sighing, she wondered whether or not she'd done the right thing. Had Sherry really been right? Deep in her heart, she knew that Sherry was a liar, but somehow those lies had permeated her shell. She knew that things were ruined between her and Jordan due to her idiotic ideas. Though she wanted to cry because of her stupidity, she swallowed those tears and pushed them away. Inhaling sharply, she walked out of her bedroom, to the bathroom, cut on the water to the tub, evening out the temperature and grabbed a box of bath salts. Putting them into the water, she waited for them to dissolve, cut off the water, got in and sank into the warm bath.

~ ~

Sherry surveyed everything that went on. She knew for sure that Jordan and Denise had broken up. She'd heard it straight from Pamela, who'd been listening to a conversation between Jordan and Andrew early that morning. Andrew told him that he needed to forget about Denise, because she wasn't worth the time. Never was. Never would be. Jordan had gotten angry and stormed down the hallway. Sighing, she walked into Ms. Pierce's Drama club and sat down. Ms. Pierce sat down at her desk, and cleared her throat. "Today, I'm going to practice the roles of the king and court jester. Jordan, Terrance, up here please."

Both boys came to the front. The class observed their role play.

Jordan was the king, while Terrance was the Jester.

King: Hello, Hermes, I wish to confront you on something." Jordan stated, his deep voice clear.

Jester: "Yes, my king?"

King: "There's been rumors that you have been engaging in acts with my wife."

The Jester shook his head: "No sir, I have not. Such an offense is punishable by death."

The King put a hand on the Jester's shoulder, looking him square in the eyes. "Good, Hermes, I knew you wouldn't betray your king."

Terrance bowed before Jordan, "No, My league, I wouldn't."

The king nodded, excusing the Jester. Jordan rolled his eyes. Damn corny script.

When it was completed, the class clapped. Next, the teacher called on the roles of the queen and the Maiden. Denise stayed in her seat. Although she'd been cast as the Queen, she really didn't want to move today. She couldn't seem to get her feet free of the invisible glue that held them onto the floor.

"Denise, sweetie, you are the Queen. We need our queen, or there's no order." Ms. Pierce stated, smiling at Denise.

"That's ok Ms. Pierce I can be the queen." Sherry coveted the role eagerly. Denise stared at Sherry, whose eyes burned a bright flame of unadulterated hatred. Denise stood up, walked to the front of the room, her rubber soles feeling heavy under her feet. She and Sherry stared at one another. Denise stood in front of her. Sighing, she read from her paper.

One month later: Opening night of the play.

"Students, please, please, make sure you take your proper placing!" Ms. Pierce screeched at every one. Immediately, the cast took their places, just as the curtains opened, beginning the show.

When it was over, the cast took their bow and watched the curtain close. When they were back stage, a group of people came back, amongst them were Tanya and Andrew. Tanya stopped to speak to her, find out how she was doing, while Andrew gave her a dirty look. Tanya sighed. "Hey, De, you did a good job."

Denise smiled, "Thanks Tanya."

Tanya smiled and then went toward Jordan, to congratulate him. Denise exited the stage. Her face stone like. Why did she feel like crying again? She was tired of crying. How much was she supposed to cry during this ordeal. She was supposed to be over him by now. It was three months later, and she could only think about him. It was sickening. Just as she was making her way out of the show, a hand grabbed her arm. She looked up. Quinton looked down at her. "You still want to hold it inside?"

Swallowing, she turned her head, so that he wouldn't notice the tear that slid down her cheek. Inhaling sharply, she whispered, "I need to go home."

"Where's your family?" Quinton inquired.

"Mom had to work late, Garrett had to continue on the mansion, and Vicki, well, she's somewhere."

"Are you supposed to take her home?"

"No, I already spoke with her. She said she was going over Aujah's for tonight."

Quinton attempted to laugh, "So, you're free to do what ever you like."

"I'm going home to do home work."

Quinton laughed at this. "Wow. You really do lead a miserable existence. Let's go some place and celebrate." Denise had already begun making her way to the door. "Celebrate what?"

Quinton smiled, "Several things. For one, your first role." He followed her. When they got to his car, he unlocked the door.

"Thanks for coming." She stated, sad.

"Come on now, get it together. Don't look like that." Quinton opened his door, pressed a button and the rest unlocked. Denise rubbed her hands together, trying to keep out the chilling wetness, fore it had rained earlier in the day, making the cold air even colder. Quinton got inside the car, shut the door and immediately cut on the heater. Denise grabbed the door handle, pulled it toward her and shut the door. Buckling up, she sighed.

"So, do you want to talk about it?" He inquired as they left the school parking lot, their ride smooth.

Denise swallowed. "No."

"You need to girl. Get it off your chest. You're only going to sink deeper into depression if you don't."

"I'm not depressed." Denise objected.

"That's what you keep telling yourself."

"It's the truth. I'm glad I did it." Denise sighed.

Quinton smacked his lips, "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that lie."

"I'm not lying." She insisted. "He wanted to use me for sex."

"For ten months? You two have been together for almost a year without sex and you're convinced that's what he wanted?"

"He's a patient guy."

Quinton looked over at Denise. "So, you think just to get the goodies, he's going to stay around for ten months?" He shook his head denying this. "Any guy who stays with a girl when they're not having sex, is in love, Denise. That's the only thing that makes since."

Denise stared at him incredulously, "You're taking his side?"

Quinton laughed at her. "No. I'm just speaking the obvious. Calm down."

Denise closed her eyes and ran her hands over her temples.

"I'm not trying to disappoint you or anything, but the truth is, he loves you. All he ever talks about is you. I feel like I know you better than I know myself."

Denise clucked her tongue on the roof of her mouth. "Isn't that sweet."

Quinton nodded. "Anyway, Denise, if and that's a big if, what you say is true, he wanted you to put out, then you would not be going through these emotional spasms you seem to have. Instead you'd be celebrating your freedom."

Denise rolled down her window a fraction. It was getting stuffy in the car. They were now pulled out onto the freeway.

"And, if that's not the case, and you were afraid, you probably should have never been with him in the first place. At-least not so soon."

Tears welled in her eyes, her throat tightened once again. "I can't stop crying."

"De, you're going to feel like that. You know why?" Quinton inquired.

Denise looked at him with fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. He pointed to the glove box. "Because.." He stated softly, "Though you weren't ready for it, you fell in love."

Denise inhaled hard. Finding a packet of opened cleanex in the glove compartment, she whiped her eyes. Exhaling. "I love him so much Quinton. It's scary."

"Love is like that. It's a scary thing." He stated.

"Have you ever been in love before?" Denise pondered, staring out the window.

"Yes."

Denise laughed, "Then you know it's not easy."

Quinton grinned, "Yep. Real love is never easy. It hurts more, when it's being constructed than it does when relationships are just for fun."

"Yeah. Why's that?"

"Because you're exposing yourself to the other person. You love to be loved. When it's just a periodic thing, it goes away so quickly, that you forget the pain. Almost like it was never there."

Denise laughed. "How do you know so much about love?"

"Because when I first met Matt, I was like you."

"Matt?" Denise wanted to know.

"Yes, my boyfriend's name is Matt." Quinton confirmed.

Denise couldn't imagine two guys being together, it was weird.

"How were you?" Denise asked.

Quinton sighed. "I was confused about my sexuality. I had never been attracted to girls when I was growing up. I couldn't understand why not when I was like every other guy. I was always a jock, and girls used to flock around me, but I never wanted to go out with them. I couldn't understand this, till I met Matt. I met him my sophomore year in high-school. He was a freshmen in college back then."

"Your parents allowed you to date him?" Denise eyes widened incredulously.

"They didn't care what I did. Mom was working all the time, and my dad was a drunk."

Denise flinched. "I thought I had it bad with mom working all the time."

"Yep. Your parents do value their work over family."

Denise frowned. "I hate that. Mom's been like that since dad left the family when I was two."

“Really?" Quinton made a right on an exit ramp, coming up to Gillesh Road. He made another right once they stopped at a light after looking both ways.

"Yes. She's never spent any real time with me growing up. It was always nanny after nanny; till I turned thirteen, and then I could stay by myself after school."

"What did you do when you were by yourself?"

"She always had something for me to do. A chore, homework, something she called constructive."

"Is there a hint of bitterness in your tone, Denise?"

Denise glanced over at him. "Maybe. I have a lot of things to be bitter about."

"Do you?"

"Yes. When I was eight, my best-friend Stacy was kidnapped, raped, and put in a back alley to rot." She replied, her tone clipped.

"Wow. That's bad."

Denise swallowed, "Yeah. She was the only friend I had growing up. The only one that understood me anyway."

"Until Jordan."

Denise shrugged her shoulders, not denying it. "He knows me too well." Denise whispered.

"Why do you say that?" Quinton probed.

"I sometimes feel like he knows me more than I know myself. I don't like that."

Chapter Twenty Six:

 

 

Quinton sighed and turned into a parking lot located about three miles from the freeway. Denise looked up at a small brick cafe. It had Stanley's' written on a sign hanging above the door. Underneath that, in blinking lights, were words which read. "Open 24 hrs."

Denise waited for him to switch off the ignition before she opened her door to get out. Closing it, she made her way up to the door, pulling it open. Quinton grabbed the door behind her and waited for her to enter. He chose a booth off in a cozy corner. Denise followed suit. After they were seated, a waitress came to offer drinks. Quinton said, "I would like a coffee, please."

Denise sighed. "Can I get a hot chocolate, extra whip cream."

Quinton waited til the waitress was out of earshot before continuing their conversation.

"Why does him getting to know you, scare you?"

Denise stared at open palms. "I don't know. It just does. He's a great guy, and has never been judgmental toward me in anyway. I don't know what's wrong with me Quin. I am crazy for breaking up with such a guy. He was willing to love me in a way that I wouldn't allow myself to love him."

"What exactly makes you afraid?"

"Loosing control." She answered without second thought. Now she was tracing the lines inside her palms.

"What do you mean?"

"I am afraid that if I give too much of myself, he'll have control and I'll be helpless."

Quinton sighed. "Sweetie, to be in control is to be comfortable with yourself to the point where you're able to let someone else in, not rationing what you give them. You hurt yourself that way."

Denise put hands up to her head. "I messed up."

Quinton nodded. "That's okay honey. I suggest you take this time to discover what you want. If you and he are meant to be, it will happen."

Denise shook her head. "He wouldn't want me back."

Quinton inhaled. "Do this for yourself, not him. No matter whether you get him back or not. If you are not comfortable with yourself, you'll never be comfortable with him. You'll find yourself always running."

Denise looked up at Quinton. "I miss him so much."

"That's what happens when you're in love. It feels like you're dying inside. I know. It sucks, but that's the way life is."

Finally, the waitress brought him his coffee and her hot chocolate. Denise thanked her and sipped the chocolate.

Jordan went out with Tanya and Andrew after the play. They went to a restaurant somewhere in Kent County. It was a small place with a light atmosphere. Andrew insisted they celebrate his first play. Jordan told him he didn't know why it was necessary considering after this semester, he'd never be in another play. He hated acting.

Sighing, he browsed the menu. "What's good here, Tanya?"

"I vouch for the veil."

"Isn't veil pretty expensive?” Jordan inquired, not sure he wanted that.

Andrew laughed, "Yeah, but Tanya insist on the best. I don't know why I put up with her flashy spending. She's going to make me a poor man." Andrew teased Tanya.

Tanya smacked him in the shoulder, "It's your dad's money."

"Oh, so you'd rather spend his money than mine?"

Tanya rolled her eyes. "When you put it like that, why not?."

Andrew smiled at her.

Jordan sighed, disparagingly. He wasn't all that hungry anymore.

"Just let her go, Jordan. She's not worth the breath you breathe, man."

Tanya sighed. "I think if you want her, you should just go after her."

"I say not to chase her anymore. She's a stupid broad."

Jordan looked up at him. His eyes flashing angry. "Don't call her that."

"She is stupid man. You wasted ten months on her and the least she could do was hand you your heart back. Talk about cold."

Jordan put hands up to painful temples, "Whatever, Drew. It's done, ok."

"You sure don't act like it." He threw in.

"I'll get over her." Jordan tried to convince himself of this.

"Look, all I'm saying Jordan is she didn't deserve you to begin with. She probably never even cared about you."

Jordan rose to her defense, "Yes she did and she still does."

"Then why did she flip out the way she did? Dude, she's crazy."

Jordan cut him off, " Stop man while you're ahead.”

"You can do better than that."

"She's just scared."

Tanya stared at Jordan's demeanor and felt her own pain. She was going to talk to Denise come Monday.

"Crazy, scared, same thing in my book. You don't need her man."

Tanya nudged him. "Shut up. What would you do if I dumped you?"

"Find another girl." He cracked.

"Oh really?" Tanya put a hand on her hip. "Don't let me find her."

"What are you going to do miss skinny minny?" Andrew teased.

"Kick you and her butt." Tanya's expression looked serious despite his play.

"You can kick my butt all you want. Just don't leave any marks."

This made Jordan groan in disgust. "That's enough you guys. I'm ready to order."

Andrew stared at his best-friend. He hated seeing him look so tired and drawn out the way he did. A bitterness settled in him as he thought of Denise. She was such a stupid girl that it made him sick to think of the way she ripped his heart out. He glanced at Tanya, who was staring at the menu, contemplating what to order. He couldn't imagine her just leaving the way Denise left Jordan. She was truly a strong and determined woman. She'd always been that way, always would be. He smiled, proud of having her as his girl.

They were Seniors now, and though she didn't know this, he wanted to marry her. He was going to ask her. Needed to ask her despite the disapproval of his parents.

Dating only one girl at a time was something he'd never tried till he'd started dating her last fall, and almost lost her. She was such an amazing, beautiful girl, that he thought of himself as lucky for being with her. So lucky in fact that he couldn't see himself with any other girl. He never thought in a million years that marriage would be suitable for him, but there was something about Tanya that was worth holding on to. Sighing, he glanced at his menu and continued to go over the choices.

Denise closed the door to Quin's car, and made her way up to the driveway. She watched him pull out, and then walked to the doorway.

"Denise."

She jumped, startled. Putting a hand up to her chest, she swiveled around. "God.." She whispered breathless, "You scared me."

He smiled a deep smile, showing dimples she'd never noticed before. She gave a hesitant smile. He was leaned against the porch railing, hands stuffed into his coat pockets.

"I'm sorry." She sighed.

He shook his head no, his dark hair falling into his face for a moment, "I should be the one apologizing, not you." His hands were being shuffled back and forth into one another nervously.

Denise stared, feeling her heart speed up in it's pace. He approached her, and then stopped about twenty feet in front of her. "You did good tonight."

She smiled, "Thanks." She stood there, in an awkward, uncomfortable moment.

He sighed. Denise stared, not wanting to be harsh, but wanting him to explain why he was here. As if reading her thoughts, he stepped into the light illuminating the driveway by the porch light attached to the wall next to the door. "I came because I wanted to see you."

Denise sighed, "I'm sorry for yelling at you that day."

"You were wrong." His answer was point blank, green eyes flashing fire.

"I know. I was stupid for allowing Sherry to come at me like that. I actually believed her."

"I wish I had a recorder to let you hear how ridiculous you sounded." He laughed halfheartedly at this, his voice both amused and holding well to sarcasm at same time.

Denise lowered her view to the ground, embarrassed. "I know. I remember what happened."

He smiled. "Good."

"Jordan, I know why you came here."

A sigh was released, "Then I don't have to plunge into a heartfelt love confession?"

Denise found her gaze drifting to beautiful hands. She inhaled. This was hard for her to do, but she believed what Quin had pointed out. "No. You don't, but I have to tell you the truth. That's what Quinton suggested."

"Tell me the truth about what?"

Denise laughed, "Me." She sighed and sat down on the swing set attached to the porch. He sat down next to her, "Okay, I'm listening..."

Jordan glanced into her eyes as she explained herself.

Denise sighed a breath of relief. There, she'd spilled her guts.

"Wow. I had no idea you went through so much." Jordan stated.

"It's because of these things, that I never really got to fully discover myself."

"Yeah."

"So..." She took a deep breath, willing the words to come. "...I want to get to know me, because if I don't, I will never be able to love you the way I should."

Jordan swallowed, "Denise, if you don't love me as much as I love you, then let me know now. I don't play games. You know."

"I know. I'm not saying that I don't love you and that I don't want to be with you, I'm just saying that I need to find out who I am and what I want."

"Do you not want me?"

Why was he making things so difficult? "Jordan, I do, but I don't want to do what I did that night. I just want to be sure."

Jordan sighed. "Ok, Denise, but as a warning, don't contemplate for too long, because I'm not going to let you hang me as a tag price. I don't belong on a sweater."

Denise brows furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"Don't wait too long, because you may not have that long." Jordan stated.

"Are you telling me that you are not going to wait for me?" Denise's voice was soft, distant.

He sighed. "Why does everything always have to be about you?"

"I'm not saying it does. I'm just saying that if you loved me, like you say you do, then maybe waiting wouldn't be bad."

Jordan stared at her, not liking what he was hearing. "If I love you, I would wait? Denise, that's ludicrous. Why do you expect me to wait, when you won't do the same for me? I love you, Denise, and although you say you love me, you are being selfish. You won't even give me the chance I deserve."

Denise sighed. "I just want to be put together. Is there a crime in that?"

"Why do you have to remove me from the picture in order to do that?"

"Jordan, you're not hearing me." Denise whined.

Jordan stood up, "Whatever Denise. Take what ever time you need, just don't expect me to wait around for ever, because that I will not do."

"Jordan, come on. It's only a little while." Denise tried to persuade.

Jordan smiled sarcastically, "So, tell me, would you wait for me?"

Denise expelled a breath. "Jordan...please."

Jordan shook his head, "You know, I actually defended you in front of Andrew, not to mention the fight with Lamont, and all of this for what?...you to break my heart and think only of your self. If that's the way you want it, fine. You want to be by yourself, go ahead, don't let me stop you."

“Jordan." Denise stated, watching as his form walk down the drive way. He continued on, not wanting to waste his time.

Denise sat there, wanting to grab her hair and pull until it came out. She laughed at this thought. Maybe, just maybe she was a little crazy.

 

 

 

 

Chapter Twenty Seven: Over rated

 

 

The Tigers were ahead four to one within the first quarter. Jordan threw the ball at Andrew, who went for the basket, bouncing the ball down the court. He traveled with him as far as he could go, and then stopped halfway to the goal. When Andrew got ready to shoot, a player from brown tried to block and ended up running into him. Andrew fell on the floor. Immediately Jordan went to where he was. The ref called a fowl on the other player. Rich Collins who'd been within the closest proximity, was already squatting down beside the young player and talking to him.

Jordan came upon them and squatted beside him. "You alright man?"

Andrew's face twisted in agony, the pain evident in his eyes. "I need help up, that's all."

Jordan looked down at Andrew's ankle. "Man, it's swollen."

"I can still play." He stated.

"I don't know, man, it looks like it may be broken."

"It's not broken, it's sprained."

Jordan disagreed. "Help me lift him up, Rich."

Rich grabbed one arm, Jordan grabbed the other.

"On the count of three, lift." Together they lifted.

As soon as they moved him from the floor, he let out a pain filled wail. Jordan sighed, "Man, you're on the bench for the rest of the night."

"Last time I recalled, I was the captain." Andrew stated.

"For tonight, I am. So, on the bench you go." They carried him to the bench, just as the referee announced that he would be out the rest of the game. The crowd awed.

"See, they miss me already." Andrew smiled, loving the sound of his fans.

Jordan laughed, "Yeah, ok." The two boys sat Andrew on a bench and then after a first aid kit was found, the game was resumed.

Denise had to go to the bathroom. Getting up from the bench, she ran out into the hallway. She was making ample time, when she ran smack into someone. She was sent stumbling backwards. She caught herself before she fell. The girl came over to her and inquired, "Are you...Denise?"

Denise looked for a second, recognizing the girl's face, but having trouble placing her.

"It's me, Yari."

Denise raised both brows, "Oh, wow. You look so different. I mean, what are you doing here? I thought you'd be in college by now?"

Yari smiled, her hazel eyes mischievous. "I am. I go to Virginia Tech. Computer Tech major. It's my first year. How are you doing?"

"I'm good." Denise stared. Yari looked so different from the girl she'd seen at her party. Her tones were all earthy now, and she sported one of the biggest Afros Denise had ever seen. She was wearing a long sleeved brown dress, with matching boots and a pair of silvery earrings. The blush she wore was like a brick tone that blended well with her popcorn colored skin when lightly applied. She inhaled. "Wow girl. You definitely look college-y and what not."

Yari laughed. "College y? You mean sophisticated?"

"However you want to put it, that's what it is."

Together both girls laughed. "So, where were you headed?"

"To the restroom, the game ended the first quarter, so I'm taking a break."

"Oh, ok. I'll go with you."

Denise smiled, "That's cool."

They walked toward the rest room.

"So, are you and that guy still together?"

"No. We broke up."

"Really? Wow, how long ago?"

"About six weeks now." Denise stated precisely.

"I'm sorry."

Denise sighed, smiling- grateful for her sentiment. "Don't be, it was for the best."

"I mean, it's weird to me, because you two were so close. I thought you would stay together."

Denise cleared her throat as they reached the restroom. Pushing the door, she held it open. "Well, things don't always work out the way we plan."

"I know that's the truth." Yari agreed. "I thought me and Drew would stay together forever, but he left me for some white girl."

Denise went into one of the stalls. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. He said he didn't want to be with me anymore and then split."

"He must have been crazy, because you're a good chick."

Yari laughed, her voice strong and husky. "Yeah. Thanks. You may know him. He plays for the tigers."

Denise froze on the toilet. Tanya's boyfriend, Drew? She couldn't imagine that. "Really, what's his name?"

"Andrew Larson."

Denise bit on her bottom lip. She had no idea that Andrew had been dating Tanya and Yari at the same time. That was foul. She crinkled her nose.

After doing her business, she flushed the toilet and came out of the stall.

"Yeah," Yari sighed. "I was so in love with that boy, that I didn't see that one coming. I had absolutely no idea he was with both of us at the same time. He swore to me that it was only in the last two months of our relationship that he'd begun seeing her, but when I saw them together, they seemed to be more than comfortable with one another, if you know what I mean."

Denise went to the sink to wash her hands, staying quiet.

"But...that's over now. I've got a new interest and he's more than half the man to me that Drew refused to be. So, what are you doing after the game?"

"I don't have any plans."

"Well, a couple of the girls and I are going to the Rink after this, you want to chill with us?"

"What's the Rink?" Dispensing some paper towel free, she ripped her half and wiped her hands.

"It's a club."

"I can't get into clubs. I'm only sixteen."

"You will tonight. Besides, when was the last time you had some fun?"

Denise sighed. "With what I.D.?"

Yari smiled confidently, "I got this, wait a second." She grabbed her phone out of her purse and dialed a number.

Sebrea Alexi made her way through the throng of students to check out the guy who seemed to be the hero of the night. Apparently, The Tigers had only won three games against brown in a ten year span, and tonight was one of those nights. She scoped the player out; Tall, dark haired, tan skinned and beautiful green eyes. She nodded approvingly. She smiled. He was really cute. She hung back, waiting for him to come forward. When he finally got away from the crowd and made his way toward the exit, she said, "Excuse me."

He turned around and her eyes widened. Wow, he was more than cute up close. He scanned her up and down and then with suspicion in his expression, he came up to her, his stance seeming assured. "You look like trouble."

She smiled. "No, I'm not. I just wanted to say hi." Her french accent was thick.

He raised a brow. "Hi?"

"Yeah, I saw you out there on the court. You're a good player."

His brows furrowed. "Thank you."

"Yep." She waited for him to ask her name. After a minute, he sighed. "It was nice talking to you, miss, but I have to go."

"Alright, my name's Sebrea by the way." She called out.

Jordan paused. Obviously she wasn't going away. He turned his attention to her, offering a smile. She responded with her own grin.

"Sebrea, that's pretty. Where are you from?"

He lowered his bag to the floor, standing in front of her.

"France. My family moved here about two years ago."

"Wow. Impressive." This made him think of Denise for a second, but quickly he pushed her to the back of his mind.

"Yes, we came from Province France."

Jordan chuckled, causing her to put a hand to her chest. This was not a boy, but a man. He sounded, looked and behaved like a man. She was immediately taken in.

He said, "The best I'd be able to do is point out France."

Sebrea shrugged. "That's cool. I didn't know much about America before I came here."

"Do you like it?"

Sebrea shrugged. "It's ok. Not as beautiful as France."

He nodded his head understanding. “Well, I'm sorry about that."

She laughed. "You're so sweet. Don't be sorry. Every one has their preferences."

Jordan smiled. "That's the truth."

Just then, the gym doors opened and giggles were heard as two girls entered. Jordan turned immediately to the source. Denise and some girl had their arms intertwined and were laughing as they entered the gym. He turned back to Sebrea, "Well, it's nice meeting you Sebrea, but I have to go now."

Sebrea nodded, "You too. I'm sorry to take up your time."

"No, it's fine. I just need to get those two girls out of here, because they're not supposed to be here still."

Sebrea brown eyes widened. "Really. I'll see you another time then?"

He smiled, "The next game is at Brown. If you come, scope me out."

Sebrea sighed. "Alright. Well, I'll see you later."

"Alright." When Sebrea left, Jordan focused his attention on the two girls.

"Girl, you are going to have so much fun, you're not going to know what to do with all of it." Yari stated as they walked away from the bleachers with their things.

"I can't believe you convinced the guy to have them ready within two hours."

"How late can you stay out?"

Denise shrugged, "Eleven."

Yari glanced at her watch. "It's eight thirty now, we..."

"You girls aren't supposed to be in here, the game's over."

Both girls stopped chatting and looked over at the source. Denise rolled her eyes. "We were just getting our things, we're leaving."

Jordan came up to them; his face hard. "Why didn't you leave when everyone else did?"

Yari raised a brow. "Who are you to be telling us when we have to leave anyway?"

Jordan looked Yari up and down. He hated big mouth girls, and this one definitely spelled trouble.

"I have to make sure everyone is gone from the building at a decent hour."

"Who told you that?"

"No one." Jordan narrowed his eyes at the girl. "But seeing how the game was over at seven thirty, you should've had plenty of time to grab your things and leave."

Yari put a hand on her hip, "Why are you concerned with us leaving? You can't lock up and you're a student yourself."

Jordan looked over at Denise again, who stood there quiet, just absorbing it all. "It would be better for you girls to get home safely, rather than be the last to leave."

" You aren't our daddies, so why the hell do we need to listen to you?” Yari fueled. We'll leave when we get ready."

He didn't say anything just stood there, his arms crossed.

Denise, who felt uncomfortable chose this moment to speak up. "Ok, Yari, let's just go."

Yari stood there, staring him down. Denise Grabbed a hold of the girl, she said, "Let's go, ok."

Yari smirked. "Stupid white boy."

Denise paused. "Don't say that Yari."

Yari looked at Denise, taking in the defensive tone."Why? He came over here meddling in our business.”

" Denise shrugged, becoming irritated. “Let's just go. He's just looking out for our safety.”

Yari glanced at Denise and then back at the white guy and then she rembered who he was. Putting a hand up to her mouth, she said, “Ahh, I see. So you came over here to see her out. Right?”

Jordan's ears and cheeks flushed red.

“Don't be embarrassed that you care. I think it's kind of sweet. Maybe a little stalkerish, but non the less, sweet.”

Denise felt dread coming on. Grabbing Yari's hand, she attempted to pull the girl along.

"Come on Yari, I thought you wanted to go to the club"

Jordan snickered at this. He couldn't picture Denise in a club; Never.

Denise shot him a dirty look. He shrugged, his hands up in the air as if to say, what?

"Alright, let's go." Yari looked up at Jordan with a smile on her face, shaking her head. “You got it bad.”

He pressed his lips together tightly. Not saying anything.

 

Chapter Twenty Eight:

 

Denise slipped into the house. She was an hour past curfew. She didn't want to wake anyone up, knowing that the result would be trouble. Sighing, she went into her room, undressed, got ready for bed and then went to her pajama drawer. Grabbing a night gown, she slid it over her head and then got into bed. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out.

Jordan awoke the following morning to the smell of bacon, eggs, coffee, grits and biscuits. Quickly, he got dressed, brushed his teeth, washed his face and then went down stairs for breakfast. He kissed his mother on the cheek and sat down at the table. "Hey ma.”

"Sleep well?" Mrs. Williams asked as she set out a plate of food for him.

"Yeah, I slept pretty well," He fibbed. He'd been up on and off during the night, thinking of Denise. He had screamed into his pillow out of frustration plenty of times before falling to sleep and then waking up to the smell of delicious aromas from the kitchen.

Sighing, he grabbed his fork and dug into the food, which temporarily distracted him from his dilemma.

"You know, today is youth day at church. You want to go?" His mother inquired.

Jordan's response was nonchalant. "No thanks."

"It'll be a good way to get out of the house." Mrs. Williams supplied.

"I don't know if I want to go anywhere today." He stabbed at the eggs on his plate. With a forkful, he brought them to his mouth, and chewed.

"It's a good way to get Denise off your mind." Anita stated. She knew that he'd taken his break up with her pretty serious.

Jordan glanced at her. "How thoughtful mom."

"There are cute girls everywhere."

Jordan laughed softly. "Look at you using the Lord's house as a meeting place for singles."

Mrs. Williams brought her own coffee cup up to her lips. "You don't even have to go out with any of them, Jordan. You don't need to be cooped up being tormented all day, every day."

Jordan smiled at his mother. "You're such a sweet mom. How did I get so lucky?"

Mrs. Williams laughed. "Thanks for the flattery."

"It's true, I'm very lucky to have you as a mother."

"I'm lucky to have a son like you too."

Jordan smile widened. "I think I'll take you up on that offer after all."

~ ~

Denise sat in front of the mirror. Taking her hand, she ran it through the strands, following the curl pattern. Her hair was thick, curly, and sponge like when pulled out and spiraling back into its natural pattern. Looking up into the mirror, she began a conversation.

"Who are you?" Her reflection stared back at her, duplicating her mannerisms. She sighed and leaned forward.

"What do you like?" Her eyes were almond shaped, long thin lashes. The dark pupils stared back speechless.

"What is your best feature?" Immediately, her gaze went to her lips. They were full with a heart shaped out lining. She traced them, but quickly stopped. This reminded her of the pressure of Jordan's mouth against hers. She inhaled, and then exhaled.

"What makes you so special...Unique?" She paused a minute, contemplating this thought. She was reminded of her organizational skills. She was great at keeping things orderly and compacted; in a little box. Her heart screamed.

"I hate being like that." She stated, putting a hand up to her face, resting her chin in its palm. Then change it! She closed her eyes, and then opened them. This seemed to help her relax. But how? She sat there, staring at that mirror, with no particular answer to that question.

Around ten o'clock that morning, the phone rang. Vicki was the first to answer it. She and Denise had been in the living room playing monopoly. Vicki picked the phone up from it's cradle and spoke. "Hello?"

After a minute, she gave the phone to Denise. Denise took it. "Hello?"

"Hey, De." A cheery medium pitched voice spoke.

"What's up Quinn?" Denise greeted into the phone.

" What do you think of community service?"

Denise paused. She didn't have a thought about it. That was something that never crossed her mind.

"Community Service?"

"Yes. There's this program I'm head of called: Young Adult American Leaders."

Denise listened. "I'm listening."

"It's a leadership program that teaches the value of life through the community."

"Ok." Denise began to twine the cord around her fingers. She had never heard of this program before.

"It's a program that works with children, teaching them how to read."

"Like tutoring?" Denise inquired.

"Yes, except these children are further behind in their studies than most children."

"Oh."

"The children come in to the center, are given breakfast and lunch while they are there, and then go through a series of reading groups; depending on their level. I have to be there by one, would you like to come along?"

Denise didn't know what to think, nor say. "I've never worked with children before."

"That's fine, you don't have to decide today whether you want to work with this program, you can just be an observer."

"Oh."

"Then, should you like it, you can join." He finished.

Denise nodded. Why not? She didn't have anything to do that day anyway.

"Sure. I have to talk to mom about it."

"Alright, I'll call when I'm on my way."

"Ok." With that, the phone clicked on the other end and Denise hung up hers. She walked into the den where her mother was forever working on some project. Going down the stairs, she called her name as she entered.

"Yes, Denise?" Mrs. Richards was standing over her desk with blue prints spread out over the entire desk.

"Can I go with out with Quinn today? He wants me to help participate in a program."

"What kind of program?" Mrs. Richards hair had grown out some, falling a little below her neck now. There was a clip holding it back.

"The Young Adult American Leadership Program. They teach children who are behind in language arts how to read."

Mrs. Richards stopped what she was doing and turned to face Denise. "You weren't with him when you came in at twelve last night, were you?"

Denise licked her lips anxiously. "You heard me come in?"

"You walked right past me sitting on the couch Denise."

"Oh."

"I figure since you didn't smell like alcohol or look disheveled like you'd been out on a date, then it wasn't a big deal, but I don't want you thinking you can do it all the time. Next time, come in on time."

Denise nodded. "Yes ma'am."

She turned back to her work.

"Can I go with Quinn?"

"My, my, we're anxious to go start reading to the kiddies, aren't we?"

Denise sighed. "It beats sitting around here all day."

Mrs. Richard let out a yawn. "I suppose, since you are doing it for charity reasons."

"Thank you," Denise went to her mother and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Bye, mom. See you later." Immediately, she went to the phone, called Quinn and told him the news.

Jordan parked his mother's Nissan in one of many vacant spaces at the church. He couldn't believe after four years of not being here, he was coming at the request of his mother. He cut the engine. Looking over at her as she opened the door, he smiled. He loved his mother so much; he'd do anything she asked.

Opening his own door, he closed it and went around to hers and helped her out. He grabbed her bible. She smiled at him. "Thanks, Jordy."

Jordan grinned embarrassed, but didn't say anything.

"Hi, Mrs. Williams," A voice greeted them from a few feet from where he'd parked. He looked up and saw that it was the girl from last night. He couldn't remember her name, Saber, something close to that nature.

"I didn't know you had a son Mrs. Williams." She smiled at the older woman. Coming up to the woman, she gave her a hug. Mrs. Williams smiled, "Isn't he handsome?" She boasted. Jordan blushed, looking away.

"Yes, he's quite handsome." Sebrea stated truthfully.

"Jordan, this is Sebrea Alexi, Sebrea, this is my son, Jordan." She introduced the two.

Jordan held out a hand to her. She shook it. Her grip was steady, firm. Like Denise's. He thought. He looked into warm dark brown eyes. "It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. Alexi."

"You too, Mr. Williams."

The three of them walked up to the church and Jordan held the door open for both as they entered. Jordan took this time to observe Sebrea. She wore a burgundy red dye hair style, chin length. The color seemed to bring out the brown in her eyes. She wore a long black over coat, black slacks, and a red burgundy colored t-shirt, underneath. He stared at her. Her style was cute. Chick in a sophisticated way. He noticed the diamonds in her ears and wondered if they were real. From where he stood, they were.

"So, Jordan, how come I've never seen you here? I've been here for the past two years?" "I stopped going."

"Why?" Sebrea wondered curious.

"I have my reasons." He stated, hinting at the End of the conversation there. Sebrea accepted this, and began a new topic.

"So, how old are you?" They walked through the foyer and into the church. The foyer was covered in a basic baby blue tile, while the walls were painted a sky blue color with streaks of silver around the base boards. Inside, the sanctuary was filled with wooden pews from the entrance to the back of the church. Sabrea led them to a pew in the middle of the church. When they sat down, she asked her question again. He answered. "Sixteen. I'm a junior."

"I'm a senior at Brown."

“Oh yeah?" He concentrated his attention on her, having been taught that constantly while growing up.

"Yeah. I'm planning to go to Yale next fall." She sat her bible down on her lap and relaxed against the pew. He had a hard time doing so.

"Yale. Wow." He was deeply impressed now.

"Yep. I want to major in Law, minor in accounting."

This really got his attention. "That's awesome."

She smiled, glad that it sparked his interest. "So what are you planning to do?"

He smiled back. "Civil Law though."

"Ok." She liked hearing this. He was a motivated individual.

“Also a bachelor's in Business Administration, that way I can open my own firm."

"Really?"

"Yes."

She found this admirable.

"Are you the only one in your family that attends church?" Jordan asked, pulling his coat closer to his body.

"No. My mom and..." She paused, looked back into the foyer and said, "Here they come now." Looking back, Jordan stared at the man who came through the door. On his arm was a beautiful woman, with dark black hair and startling blue eyes. She wore some type of expensive fur coat. He wore a pant suit. His tall frame matched his wife's perfectly. She was a few inches shorter than he. What made them so benevolent looking, was they both stood erect and at full height, giving the impression of importance; almost royal like in their demeanor. He stood up as they approached.

"Hi mom, Dad, this is Jordan Williams, Mrs. Anita Williams son." Sebrea spoke in her native tongue.

With an even thicker accent than his daughter's Mr. Alexi smiled at Jordan and introduced himself. "I'm Jonathan Alexi, this is my wife, Francesca Alexi."

Jordan grasped his hand firmly, shook it and then moved out of the pew. He allowed them to move further into the aisle. Once they did, they draped their coats over the seat and sat down.

~

Denise was picked up at a quarter to twelve; A half an hour later by Quinn, who told her more about YAAL, when she got into his car. He told her to buckle up, and off they went to the Young Adult American Leaders facility. There were numerous tables in the room, all in no particular order. There were children running around everywhere, not doing anything to do with reading. As a matter of fact, three of the people who were there looked as if they were teenagers either her age or younger. They wore orange shirts with yellow lettering which read Yong Adult American Leadership, in capitol letters. Denise watched them run around.

"Hey, Mr. Q, How are things going?" A girl inquired as she looked up from what she was doing. She had begun to line up a small group of children and try to retain some of the chaos in the area. Five of the pupils were listening. The rest were still running.

"Hi Audrey, this is Denise, she's going to be sitting in with us today, to see what the program's like." He greeted and introduced as he pushed Denise toward the girl Audrey, who wore glasses framing dark blue eyes and a halo of strawberry blonde hair, "Hi Denise."

Denise smiled, "Hi, Audrey."

"Audrey's one of the freshmen workers." She's volunteering till she's old enough to get a job." Quinn winked at her. Audrey giggled and then continued on with her task.

"Come with me, Denise."

Denise followed him around, as he introduced her to the other staff. There was Riley, who was a sophomore in high-school; Twin brothers, Wesley and Darren African American like herself and then two Vietnamese people, Tu yen and Ahn. Tu yen was in his second year of college, getting a degree in Recreational Planning. He was the program coordinator, while Ahn was a Junior like Denise, who went to Richmond High-school, but came here on the weekends to work with YAAL. Denise glanced back up at Quinn, "Wow, this is pretty cool. What exactly is your job here?"

Quinn smiled at her. "I own the place."

Denise laughed, "Seriously, Quinn." She thought he was being playful.

"I'm serious." Quinton's demeanor did not change.

"You are not even fresh out of high-school."

He shrugged, "Well, you'd be amazed at the type of grants you can acquire at eighteen if you tell them you're an entrepreneur with a business plan."

"Wow." Denise looked around, starring in shock. The place was actually really nice. There were book shelves set up in specific corners. A couple of the workers had gotten all the children assembled in a line, and were now readying them for lunch, while the remaining others cleaned up the room. Once it was picked up, crayons put away, books on the shelves, tables and chairs cleaned off, the floor vacuumed, the red carpet was visible, bringing an educational atmosphere to the entire place. There were photos of the attendees and employers/volunteers on the wall.

Denise sighed. "Wow, Quinn, I had no idea you had this big of a heart."

Quinn laughed. "That's what most people say. Thank you for the complement. I brought you here, because this is where it begins."

Denise stared at him baffled. What was he talking about? Reading her expression, he answered. "In order to care for yourself sweetie, you have to learn to care for others. This is a great opportunity to find out a lot about who Denise is and what she wants."

Chapter Twenty Nine:

Denise reached her locker Monday morning with a dreary perception of the day. Everything would go exceptionally slow today due to the simple fact that it was a Monday. She yawned as she stuffed books she'd taken home over the weekend to complete homework assignments that were due earlier in the week. As she was accomplishing the previously mentioned, a voice startled her out of her task.

"What's up, De?" The voice was high pitched.

Denise slid her geometry book where it was supposed to go and then took out her Geography book for one of the morning classes. She grabbed the last two books and shoved them into her bag. Standing up, she greeted Tanya. "Hey girl."

Tanya smiled, "So, how was your weekend?"

Denise shrugged, "It was ok." She pulled the strap over her shoulder and closed the locker door. Tanya wore a dark green top with black jeans and a pair of sketchers.

"That's cool," She stated. She gave Denise a smile. "Anything new lately?"

Denise shook her head, "No, why?"

"So, you haven't spoken to Jordan?"

Denise brought her bottom lip into her mouth. "Nope."

"Why not?" Tanya interrogated.

Denise stepped back, "Since when is it mandatory for me to talk with him?"

"I just thought you'd be missing him by now," Tanya stared her in the eyes.

"What does it matter if I do or don't?"

Tanya lifted a brow. "Because Denise, I gotta hand it to you, you really messed up something good between the two of you."

Denise sighed, "What does that have to do with you coming to my locker?" She wanted to know.

"Everything. I came to tell you that I think you're selfish, insecure, prideful, and down right mean to do that to him. He did so much for you." Tanya vented, her hands at her sides.

"Leave it to you to tell it like it is, Tanya." Denise stated, beginning to walk down the halls.

"Well, I may as well, since all my boyfriend can talk about is how much of a bitch you are and how much he wished Jordan would've left you where he found you, but no, Jordan sees a problem, he wants to tackle it." Tanya sighed, exasperated.

"What about you, Tanya? You think you made a mistake?" Denise stopped right here to look the girl in the eye. Tanya's vision didn't waiver.

"No, I saw the chemistry between you two, Denise. There was a lot unspoken between the both of you. I don't think you're a mistake for him," She sighed, and stepped a little closer, "Do you want to know what I think?"

Denise swallowed, "What?" Her throat was suddenly parched. She grabbed the neck of the sweater she wore and pulled on it. Nervous.

"I think, that you are selfish, that's why you broke up with him. For what ever reasons, you wanted to keep him at arms length, but that didn't work because the more you two talked, the deeper things got between you and you didn't like that. You don't like the idea of him having that kind of control, you are the one who must be composed, at all times, must always know what's going on, where things are going and how they're going to end, but...you can't see that with him, so it frightens you."

Denise stared, not knowing how she knew; how she could see that without her saying anything about it.

Tanya continued on, "You didn't have to tell me anything, I saw it, heard it and witnessed it with my own eyes." She paused to give Denise the benefit of a doubt. When Denise didn't respond, but just stared intently, she sighed, "Look, Jordan won't say this to you, but he's miserable and I believe you're just as miserable. I think that you two have a chance, but if you're not willing to let down your guard, maybe you shouldn't be with him."

Denise stared straight ahead in her class, not really doing anything. She couldn't stop thinking about Tanya's words. It wasn't that she was wrong, no. She was right. Everything she'd spoken was true, but how, how did she figure it out? How had she pinpointed something that Denise had sincerely guarded? Sighing, Denise put her head down on her desk and tried to still the fear that had gathered itself around her heart.

~

Denise smelled his scent before she heard the soles of his shoes walking toward her. When he went by her desk, she got a strong whiff of zest. Strange enough, the smell aroused her and she pulled her body closer together. Unable to resist after so much thought, she turned around in her desk. Looking him in the eyes, straight to the point, she said, "And here I thought you'd sit somewhere else."

He leaned forward, "I bet you'd like that, huh Denise?"

Denise almost cringed at the ferociousness in his voice,"Whatever."

Jordan stared at her, a glare in his eyes, "If you want your seat changed, you move. You can run me from your life, but not everywhere else."

Denise swallowed nervously without saying a word. His eyes locked onto hers, making it impossible to look away. Finally the teacher walked in the classroom and the spell was broken. That didn't stop her from feeling the glares he shot in her direction that whole time.

Through all four of the classes they had together, Jordan refused to give her the satisfaction of moving out of her range. That's what she wanted. She wanted him to disappear into himself the way she was doing. Hiding. He'd never hidden before and wouldn't start now.

At the end of the day when classes were done, before practice had begun, he was walking to his car in the school parking lot when a sudden down pour of rain began. It was now the beginning of November, and although it was freezing cold out, the snow had yet to start falling, they were still receiving rain showers. He ran the rest of the way across the parking lot and unlocked the door.

Denise was just hitting the second block from the school, when the dark clouds immediately gathered and the rain began. She let out a high squeal, irritated that this just added fuel to the fire of her bad day. She continued to walk, her clothes sticking to the form of her body. She was about three and a half blocks away from her house, when a horn honked, startling her out of her grumpiness. Looking over, she let out another annoyed sigh. Why couldn't he be like everyone else and just keep going? Denise sighed and stopped. The passenger window rolled down. Jordan stared at her with heated eyes. "Get in the car."

Denise raised both brows. "What are you going to do if I don't?"

Jordan replied through clench teeth, "Leave you in the rain. Now come on, stop your bitching and get in the car." Denise narrowed her brows. "Why are you cursing at me?"

He sighed, vexed. "Get in the car."

Denise exhaled harshly and then opened the door. Her clothes made a noise as she sat in the seat and then closed the door. Her bag was tucked underneath the seat. Air was blowing through the vents.

"It's freezing cold out there and you got the air on?" Denise inquired, flabbergasted.

"It's hot to me." He stated, keeping his eyes on the road.

"It's cold...and my clothes are wet.” Denise stated, her jaw clenching. “I'm going to catch pneumonia."

Jordan shrugged his shoulders, "That's something you're going to have to deal with on your own."

Denise's gaze burned as they connected with his eyes, hers wide, mortified. "What?"

"I'm not cutting my air off for you." He stated, the hardness shielded through grinding teeth

Denise cleared her throat, bit her tongue to keep from saying something she'd regret and looked out of the window.

"screech!" The squeal of tires brought Denise's head up from the window. She looked over at Jordan, "What the heck are you doing?"

He was putting the parking brake on. "I have some things to say to you." Denise rolled her eyes, severely vexed now.

"You are the most shallow person I've ever met."

Denise shook her head. "Ofcourse."

"You are. Self absorbed, can't see past yourself and the only person you ever cared about is yourself."

Denise looked over at him, "What else do you have to say?"

"I think you're stupid, really stupid."

"Why? Because I broke up with you? What's a matter Jordan, can't handle not having what you want?" She spat out.

He said, "It's not about that, Denise."His pulse was hammering.

"What is it about Jordan?"

"It doesn't make any sense. None of it does. You know I love you. You know I do, and yet you go crazy on me? So you explain yourself, I tell you none of it matters and the only thing you can do is withdraw? Don't you want to be loved, Denise? Don't you want to be treated like a woman?" His green eyes softened for that moment, causing her to look away. He grabbed her face in his hands and pulled it around to meet his. His eyes searched hers again for some sort of truth. "Don't look away from me."

Her eyes began to water.

"Am I not good enough for you, Denise?" His tone was gentle, soft.

"It's not that. I don't want to be used for your amusement Jordan, I really don't."

"But, it's not for my amusement. I really do love you. I love the way your hair curl into it's own pattern. I love your skin, how it looks and feel so tender. You are a beautiful complexion. I love the fullness of your mouth, the way your lips pout, just begging to be kissed." He ran a finger along her mouth. "They want to be kissed." He stared her in the eyes. She felt her breathing become shallow.

Denise, I love everything about you. I love spending time with you, I missed that. I miss our conversations, I miss your braininess."

Denise stared, not sure what to say.

"I thought you understood me Denise." He sighed wistfully.

She pulled away.

"You pull away like I repulse you. Do I repulse you?"

She swallowed, anxiously. "No."

"Ok, then what is it?" He desperately wanted to know.

Denise looked him in the eyes, anything would do to make him stop. She didn't like this one bit. Not hardly.

"Can't we be friends?" She asked, feeling her heart explode.

He narrowed his eyes, "Friends?"

"Yes, I know..."

"Is this some kind of game to you?" His eyes, his demeanor, everything told her he was in pain.

"No, I just can't date you." She replied quietly.

Jordan nodded his head, not liking what he was hearing, but couldn't do much about it. "That's what you want?"

She nodded, staring down at her hands. She couldn't even look him in the face and tell the truth.

He started to say something else, but looked at her, just looking. Why should he have to resort to begging her? Why should he be the one trying to get her back? If she didn't want him, there were plenty of other girls who did. Other girls who wanted him for both his looks and personality. He shouldn't be doing this. It would just drive him crazy in the long run. Loving her would drive him absolutely crazy.

Her not wanting his love was just plain strange. What was so grotesque about him that it turned her off? Was he that bad of a guy? Had he really communicated to her something completely different from what he felt? Had he? Inhaling a sharp breath, he allowed the pain to come in; allowed everything to settle. If anything, Andrew was right, she should be the one doing this, not him. He stared at her with a new found revelation. It was not worth it. The pain she was giving him was not worth it. He needed to move on, and let it be. Let things go between them. She didn't want him and that was the truth.

"Ok, Denise. I'm not going to bother you anymore. You can be free to do what ever you like." His green eyes sparkled. He started up the car and drove toward her house.

Denise got out of the car, grabbing her bag with her, feeling a sadness in her heart. She managed once again to push away the guy she loved. Why? She couldn't began to understand. She loved him so much and wanted to be with him, but another part of herself told her no. Told her that she couldn't, wouldn't survive if she was with him. She would just end up dependent upon him. She would get to a point where she couldn't eat, breathe or think about anything else but him. The biggest thing was that inevitably they'd began to have sex. She knew in her heart that if she was with him, he'd be her first, because there was too much physical attraction. Everything was too much. Sighing with a slump in her shoulders, a depression coming in her attitude, she made her way up the path to the house. Taking her keys out a drenched bag, she unlocked the door.

Jordan waited for her to enter the house, before he shifted the gear into reverse. While leaving, he made a decision, this one for good. He was going to grant her wish, leave her alone. Find something else or someone else that would love and appreciate him for who he was.

When he got home, his mother was no where to be found. She left a note to tell him that she'd gone out for a while and would return in a few hours. Written below that was a number. He read beneath the number. Sebrea had called him. He raised a brow, What had she called for?

Two hours later, after homework, a quick dinner, and shower, he sat in the living room, holding the phone in his hand.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Hi Sebrea, I got a note stating that you'd called?"

"Yes, I did. I just wanted to see how things were going with you." Her voice had a singsong sound to it.

"It's good. I just finished up my homework." He answered.

"Oh, sounds progressive."

He sighed, "Yeah, it was."

"That's good. So..." She continued on.

That's how everything started. There were conversations first, and then two weeks later, Jordan asked her out.

 

 

Chapter Thirty: Settling

 

A day in mid October, a month before Denise's birthday, she and Quinton decided to go see a movie. Given, it was a sporadic decision, but non the less they'd decided to go.

Sitting around with nothing to do except watching reruns of A different world and The Cosby show, were her idea of entertainment, but Quin was restless. So, in an effort to please him, she cut the TV. off, after much begging on his part and they went to the mall. On their way there, Quin smiled at her. "I'm so proud of you De, you actually put down what you wanted for what I wanted."

Denise smiled sarcastically, "What are friends for?"

Quinton laughed, "Don't worry sugah," in his sweet little drawl. "I'll definitely repay the favor."

Denise looked at him. "And how do you plan to do that? The Cosby show and a different world are absolutely irreplaceable. I love those shows."

Quinton shrugged, "I don't know, but I'm sure we'll think of something."

Denise rolled her eyes. Whatever! As she thought this, she remembered the day at the pond, when Jordan had counted each time she'd spoken those words aloud. She smiled, this had been the setting of their first date.

"What's so funny?" Quinton's voice cut into her thoughts.

Denise sighed wistfully, "Nothing."

When they arrived at the mall, they checked for the time their movie would began and after discovering they had a twenty five minute wait, they began walking around the mall.

Jordan and Sebrea were in a gift shop. They were trying to pick out something for their mothers, trying to determine what would be the best Christmas present.

"How about this?" Sebrea volunteered, holding up a purple and white glass crystal ball. Jordan shook his head, "No, she's not that kind of girl."

Sebrea laughed, "Oh, she isn't huh?"

Jordan smiled, delighted, "No, she's not."

"What kind of girl is she?" Sebrea inquired, knowing her question seemed silly but was up for teasing.

"She's the kind of girl that enjoys sparkling Christmas cards, some clothes and books, stuff like that. Oh yeah, the books have to be non fictional."

"Ok..." Sebrea was thoughtful as she went around the store searching. Jordan glanced up at Sebrea with a smile on his face. She was so sweet, smart, level headed and funny. Plus she was a blast to hang out with.

Quinn paused outside of Terry's gift shop, grasped her chin and said, "Look, I don't want you to say another word about Jordan, you two are in the process of moving on. That's all that matters. You need to focus more on Denise anyway sugar, because I'm hearing two different sides, one says I don't want to be with him, the other says I want to be with him. Girl, if the decision is that hard, then maybe you need to figure out the truth first. Maybe you need to see what's going on in your heart first. "Look," He brought her closer to him, giving them less than ten feet apart. "I want you to go home and start journaling."

Denise raised a brow. "Journaling?"

He nodded, "Yes, start Journaling, because that's what's going to help you clarify things."

"I don't have a journal." Denise stated, dispirited, but not due to not having a journal.

"Well, let's go get one." He said.

Denise smiled, "You're really serious about this, aren't you?"

Quinn sighed and put an arm around her neck. "I care about you Denise, I want you to be happy, and in an effort to do that, you have to know what makes you happy." He wasn't too tall, therefore it didn't strain her shoulders. She grabbed his hand, "How is it that you know exactly what to say when ever we talk?"

He smiled, "Because I've been there before. It's nothing to be ashamed of Denise. Sometimes when figuring out what you want, and who you are, you have to hurt others and yourself."

Denise, laughed, "I love you Quinn."

Quin grabbed her and brought her into a hug. "Aww, I love you to, De."

Jordan froze when he heard her laugh. His heart beat sped up and a knot formed in his throat, along with the perspiration build up everywhere. Following its sound, he looked over to see Denise and Quin locked in an embrace at the shop's door. He watched as Quinn kissed her forehead. For some inexplicable reason, this caused anger to stir inside him. I thought he was gay? His mind quarried this. Why is he kissing her if he's supposed to be gay? Gay guys don't hug and kiss girls! His mind told him. That's why she's not worth my time. She didn't want space, she wanted him! His mind reasoned. He frowned as he watched the interaction between the two. Not being able to help it, he continued to stare.

Sighing, Denise released her hold on Quinn, and said, "Let's get me a journal."

Quinn smiled, "Ok." He turned toward the window, and couldn't believe his eyes. Grabbing Denise's hand, he said, "I think we should go."

Denise looked down at her watch, noticing they still had ten minutes till the movie started. "But, the movie doesn't start till four. We got enough time to get in the shop and then come back out."

Quinn looked down at her, "I know, but we can come back afterward, you know?" Denise laughed, "Why? We're already here." She noticed he kept darting his gaze between her and the window. Becoming curious, she looked up in the window. Her heart stopped beating for a few seconds and a huge lump formed within her chest, causing her brain to flat line.

Jordan shivered when their eyes met. Hers looking so terribly innocent, almost caused him to swoon. They were so beautiful and warm looking. He just stared. Finally Sebrea's voice brought him back as she came to step next to him. "Hey, what do you think of this?" He broke his gaze from Denise's, to look at her, "It's a good one. Let's pay for it and go." He stated, not wanting to be in the shop with Denise being here. She'd definitely figure something was wrong.

Sebrea smiled at him, "Alright, let's go." She turned, and out of habit, he put a hand on her back.

Denise stared in shock. He loves me? How can he loves me if he's with someone else? Her first instinct was to turn and run, but she decided that she couldn't, wouldn't do such a thing. She was supposed to be changing, and the first thing in changing would be to confront him.

Jordan ushered Sebrea to the front of the store, so that they could pay for the gift he was going to give his mom. It was a set of crystal candle holders with two black baskets sitting inside for the candles to burn in. When they reached the register to pay for the item, Jordan took a couple of bills out of his pocket, waited for the cashier to ring them up. When she did, he gave her the money and told her to keep the change. Turning around, he came face to face with Denise and Quinton, who held her up to keep her from falling because of how fast he'd moved.

"Excuse me," He stated, trying to get by.

"What's going on Jordan?" Denise spoke, while looking him in the eyes. Her expression was unreadable. He shrugged, "Buying a gift for my mother."

"You two know each other?" Sebrea asked, looking between the two with a smile.

Denise looked over at her. She smiled. Nodded her head politely and answered, "Yeah, we go to the same school."

Sebrea nodded, "Cool."

Denise sighed, "So, are you guys dating and stuff?" She tried to say this nonchalantly.

Sebrea sighed, "We've only been going out for a month."

Denise thought of the last time she'd spoken to him. Precisely a month ago. "Oh really, that's cool." She replied, her tone a little crisp.

Jordan sighed, "Well, we gotta go...I'm sure mom's..."

He was cut off by Denise's fake gasp of delight. "Oh my God, where'd you guys get this," she asked, her hand over the box.

"We got this for his mother. For Christmas."

"It's too cute. Can I see what it look like?"

Jordan rolled his eyes, irritated. What the hell was wrong with her? She never acted like this before. "You know, I'd rather not open it, because I don't want mom to think it's been tampered with." Jordan stated, pulling the bag from Sebrea, and giving Denise a dirty look. Though there was a smile on her face, Jordan could see that she was fuming. He stared at her, his eyes just as vehement. How could she even get mad when she did everything she could think of to keep him away? What did she think that he was going to wait for her? A girl who didn't want him in the first place?

Denise sighed, "Ok, well, Quinn and I have a movie to catch, we'll see you two later." With that, she grabbed Quinn's hand and pulled him to the front of the line. Jordan felt her side brush along him as she did. His skin tingled from the contact.

Denise watched as Jordan and Sebrea left the shop. She was shooting invisible darts at both their heads as they did. As soon as they were out of sight, Quinn asked, "Why did you bring me into this mess?" He hissed.

"Ah, come on Quinn, he knows you're gay." Denise said as she handed the cashier her diary to ring up.

"The way he was looking at me said that he suspected that I wanted you."

Denise smiled, "Good, let him think that."

Quinn stared at her, confused, "Let him think that? Denise, the guy's already mad at you. Why would I want him to think that?"

"Because it's going to get him back to me." She whispered.

"The only thing it's going to do is cause his girl to ask why he is giving you "the look" when ever he see you." Quinton prophesied.

"Well, I got the diary, let's go watch a movie," Denise suggested now that the diary had been purchased. Quinton narrowed his eyes at her. "Don't bring me into this,"

Denise sighed, "I thought you were going to help me?"

"I am, but not in that manner. I want you to do things right, De. Not wrong, because you will loose him that way, for good. Deviance never gets you anywhere."

"Deviance? This isn't deviance. I'm not harming anyone." Denise objected.

"Physically. He really loves you Denise, this kind of thing would only drive him further away from you."

Denise looked at Quinn, "If he loves me, then why is he seeing her? You heard her, they've been dating a whole month."

Quinton shrugged his shoulders, "Sometimes a guy will date another girl just to get the previous one off his mind."

"That's stupid," Denise retorted.

"Yet people do it, especially when they don't want to confront their own pain."

Denise sighed, glancing down at her watch. "Let's go, the movie's already started."

Quinton sighed, "Alright-y."

Together both teens left the gift shop and went on to the movies.

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty One: Regeneration

 

Pacing. He was going to wear a hole in the carpet of his bedroom floor if he continued on like this. It was now two days later, and although he'd seen her in class, he hadn't asked her about Quinton.

It had been shocking seeing them together hugged up the way they were, with Quinn's arm around her neck. Jordan felt a slight blush creep up his cheeks. He was so upset with her. If she was interested in someone else, why didn't she just tell him instead of him finding out the way he did. He stopped pacing and threw himself onto his bed. Groaning out load, he said, "Why did I have to be stupid and fall in love with a girl who seemed great at first, but obviously have commitment issues? Especially now that I've met the girl I've always wanted to date? I probably would've had better luck with her.

He sighed, thinking over the relationship he'd had with Sebrea during the past month. She was such a happy, worry free person. She was beautiful in every way, yet he had yet to kiss her the way he'd kissed Denise. He didn't feel that hunger which gnawed at him the way it did when ever he was around Denise. He got aroused just thinking about her. Her sweet chocolate toned skin, big brown eyes and gorgeous hair. He was going to drive himself crazy, thinking about how soft her lips were, or the smell of her perfume. He even remembered the flicker of her eyelashes when she would blink. Mundane stuff, things with no real purpose, the small things in great detail were what he remembered. Why? He didn't know. He sighed, exasperated. He wasn't even married to her and behaved as if he were.

Giving one last exasperated sigh, he wondered what he should do. How would he get over her. For both their sake, he needed too.

Dear Diary,

It's two days later since I bought you in Terry's gift shop, and I must say, I am very happy with my purchase. Quinton was right. Getting a diary definitely helped me to sort out my thoughts, behaviors and ideas. I realize after reading my entry from when I went to Terry's book shop, that perhaps my idea was a little ludicrous.

I also know that I have been trying to set Jordan in the back of my mind since that incident, because like Quinn said, I need to know myself, but when ever I think about me, I think of things I don't like about myself. Quinn said for me to write down things that are great about me, that no one else can take away, even if they tried. So, here's the list:

1. I am a very cautious person. That's good, because I never do things without thinking.

2. I am a great learner in academics, except math.

3. I believe I am stylish.

4. I love sports: hiking, tennis and since I've done that a few times, I enjoy sailing now.

5. I have pretty hair

6. Horrible Traits that I acquire, not physically, but mentally: Indecisive, Confusion, Hard outer shell, but weaker inner self, Lack of commitment? Stubborn, Fearful. (Another thing to add, I tend to believe the worst possible scenarios concerning everything except my academic affairs. I know I will succeed in that.

7. Great things about me: I am always eager to learn what's going on around me. I am very disciplined in a crazy way. I love to watch movies, especially ones that seem informative, documentaries, Biographies...I love the history channel, The beloved P.B.S. I am very analytic, analyzing as much as I possibly can, except when I'm told not to do something. I do not allow people to push me around, but I can be persuaded pretty easily, especially when it comes to things I want. (There you go, I am positive about my academics. I know what I'm good at and what I suck at.)

Denise thought and thought about something else to write, but couldn't think of anything. She groaned, studying the page. Smiling, she realized she knew a lot about herself, but then the smile faded when she saw her list of imperfections. Sighing, in a column next to that, she wrote:

Things I want to learn about myself:

1. Who am I

2. What makes me happy?

3. What do I want?

4. Why can't I stop thinking about him?! What makes me so afraid of loosing control?

5. What does she have, that I don't?

6. What the hell is wrong with me?

Denise sighed, and began to ponder these thoughts. After a while, she had a memory of her mother, when she was younger, always telling her that guys meant her no good. They did wrong, that she needed to stay away from them, because she would end up hurt one day and if she allowed that, the road to recovery would be long and hard. She wrote that down, and also put down that all that changed when her mom met her step dad. For some reason, she'd gone from talking about all of these things, to completely avoided to subject all together. Sighing, Denise debated whether or not she should talk to her mother about everything that had been going on. She could hear Quinn's voice telling her that she should. She wondered if she would get angry for her asking her these things, or if she would answer them truthfully?

Denise walked to school three days later. Her lips were chattering and she was desperately trying to thaw out her icy cold hands as she entered the building and was welcomed to a warm toasty atmosphere. Sighing, she walked to her locker and grabbed her things. Completing her walk down the hall, she was lost in her own thoughts. She'd had a doctor's appointment and was late for her third period. She'd missed first, second and half of third.

Sherry was talking and laughing with Candice, when she saw her. She looked kind of spaced out. Almost like she wasn't even there. This caused her to narrow her lids in animosity. What was she so preoccupied by, that she wasn't even in the real world? Stupid girl. Thinking Denise could use a dose of reality, Sherry whispered something in Candice's ear and then turned cold eyes upon her prey. They walked until they came upon her. Sherry swiftly, but inconspicuously bumped her as they walked.

Denise stumbled, but caught herself. Coming out of her deep thoughts, she turned around and watched the two girls walk down the hall. This made her furiously upset. Bitches did that on purpose! She mumbled to herself. Swallowing deeply, she closed her eyes and willed herself to be calm. They didn't mean to do it. She reasoned. It was at this moment, her heart screamed, Like hell they didn't. She'd been minding her own business not bothering them, and Sherry decides she wanted to do that. This made her so angry, she turned back. Both girls were nearing the end of the hallway now, heading toward the staircase. Denise crossed her arms. They shouldn't get away with that. As a matter of fact, all the things they've done have been to hurt me. She frowned, not liking this. When she heard Sherry's cackle, this did it for her. Fuming, She walked up to them swiftly.

Sherry glanced over at Candice, "Yeah, I totally just chilled out this weekend." She told her. Candice hung on to every word. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I told Lamont that I wasn't going out with him and that if he tried that crap with me that he'd done with Denise, I was going to cut his jewels off and grind them up." She made motions in the air, like she was putting something through a meat grinder."

Candice grimaced, "Dang, it's like that, huh?"

Sherry laughed, "Yeah, it is."

Denise walked up to Sherry. Stopping the girls in their tracks, she said, "I hate you."

Sherry rolled her eyes, not even looking up at her. "Whatever."

"I do," Denise insisted, her arms folded. "I'm also this close..." She held up her hands, made less than an inch of space with her thumb and pointer finger, "to whipping your butt."

Sherry rolled her eyes again."Whatever barracuda, now, get out of my way." She tried to sidestep her. Denise stepped with her. This caused Sherry to look up at the girl. "What the hell do you want?"

Denise stared her in the eyes, hers a blazing inferno. "I want you to apologize."

Sherry sighed, bored, "For what?"

Denise lowered her hands to her side. Sherry took a step back. Denise sighed, "For all the bull shit you put me through, my sister through, everything."

Candice spoke up. "Your sister did that to herself."

Denise glared at her, "Ain't nobody talking to you, you couldn't even take up for yourself, so you don't have any say in this."

Candice sighed bitterly, somehow agitated that she'd been like that. "You know what, you're right, I didn't take up for myself, but your sister had a lot of nerve...."

"Shut up, Candice!" Sherry hissed, interrupting her. Denise looked back at Sherry, "What is it that you don't want her to tell you blue eyed devil."

Sherry put a hand on her hip. "Nothing that concerns you. I'm not apologizing to you."

Denise laughed, "What did this bitch tell you?" She demanded to know from Candice.

"Bitch?" Sherry gasped loudly.

Candice stared into Denise's eyes, the fear evident. Her voice had been so calm, it was chilling. "She said that..."

It was then things spun out of control. Sherry reached out and slapped Candice, "Don't you dare say another word." She commanded.

Denise's eyes grew big in shock, but then as tears watered in the other girl's eyes, she felt anger boil over within her like lava spewing from a hot volcano. Balling her fist, she swung.

Sherry stumbled back, and yelled out in pain. "What the..."

Denise spat out, "You want to fight, fight me. Why you got to hit her? She didn't do anything to you."

Tears sprang out of Sherry's eyes due to the pain. She glanced up at Denise. "That hurt." Denise nodded her head, "That's nothing, I can do more than that. You ever put your hands on her again, I will do more than that."

Sherry swallowed, the lump forming in her throat, the tears spilling from her eyes. She stared at Denise. It was then that Denise got a glimpse of the little girl inside a teenager's body. This propelled her strength and she stood up straight. Looking over at Candice, she said, "What did she tell you?"

Sherry's lips trembled.

Candice looked up at her, her blue eyes innocent. "She said that your sister told everybody about my parents divorce and some other stuff that I told her. She said that she didn't really like me."

Sherry began to step away from both girls. Denise turned her venomous gaze upon her. "Where do you think you're going?"

Sherry put a hand up to her face when Denise stepped forward, afraid that she was going to hit her. "I..I.”

Denise shook her head, "I'm not going to hit you unless you lash out at me. Then I'm just going to knock you out."

Sherry was unnerved by how calm she was. There was no yelling, no screaming, nothing. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

Denise shook her head. "You're sorry? You caused me to loose the only guy I ever really loved, and all for what? For malicious lies and deceit that you planted in my head?"

Sherry lowered her eyes, reduced to shame.

Denise nodded her head, vexed, "Man, you're not even worth the space you take up. You fucking go around sabotaging everyone else's happiness, because you're so miserable. Beyond all that pretty makeup, you really are nothing, so you have to manipulate through your words and actions. That's sick." Sherry flinched.

"Look at me please."

Sherry looked up at her. Her gaze naked, revealing just how empty she was on the inside.

"You need help, girl. Real, serious help." Denise stated, her tone even. Sherry sighed, turned and walked away without a word.

Looking over at Candice, she said, feeling rejuvenated, "She can't be a friend to you Candy. She doesn't even love herself. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else."

Candice smiled at Denise, "Thanks." Tears were coming down her cheeks. She'd never had anybody other than Vicki take up for her, but never had anyone slapped another for her cause.

Denise sighed, and smiled back, "Hey, I did this as much for me, as I did for you." There was a lengthy pause, and then Denise corrected some past errors. "Look, Vicki never said any of those things Sherry told you. Vicki's not the type to betray her best friend."

Candice smile widened even more. "I know. I always knew she hadn't."

"Then why did you let her tell you that?" Denise inquired, but then thought of her own scenario, and sighed, "You know what, don't even answer that, just make sure you talk to Vicki after school, k?"

Candice pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. "Do you think she'll forgive me?"

Denise shrugged, "I don't know. I can't say for sure. But, at-least try."

Candice nodded and then did the unexpected. She reached out and gave Denise a hug. Denise smiled, "You're welcome." She hugged the girl back.

Candice let go and then ran off to class. Denise inhaled, closed her eyes, and exhaled. She felt some of the tension leave her body. She was proud of herself for standing up to Sherry. She smiled glad that she'd done it for herself. Exhaling, again, she felt tears spring to her eyes.

Reaching up to swipe them, her head went up. Standing in the library doorway, watching her, was Jordan. He had this perplexed look on his face. A hint of a smile in the corner of his eyes. His green eyes sparkling. She swallowed and accepted for the first time, the feelings of love that washed over her. It made her smile. He just stared, not really saying anything. Finally after a minute, he turned away and opened the door to go inside. Instead of going to her third hour class, Denise went to the cafeteria, found a seat in the back, away from the prying eyes of everyone and sat down in a corner. Taking out her journal, she wrote down what had taken place between her, sherry and Candice. Then, she wrote down what she felt for Jordan. her feelings, her thoughts, everything.

Jordan stood inside the door of the library, feeling breathless. He couldn't even think straight. If there was one thing he recognized, it was that look she'd given him. He knew at that moment that she loved him. He could tell that between the time she and Quinton had went to the mall, something had changed. It made his heart beat faster, his knees weaken, but then Sebrea came to mind. He closed his eyes. He didn't want to hurt her. He couldn't, wouldn't hurt her.

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty Two: A talk with mom

 

Denise had settled everything in her mind by the time the bell rang after her brief afternoon of school. She was going to talk to her mom about everything that happened with Jordan and try to get her spin on things. She also was going to talk to her about the issues that were plaguing her thoughts, things she'd never voiced before.

However, she knew that her mother was at work right now, which meant she'd have to go up to her office. Her mother worked in Richmond for the Landerville Ad agency, where she made billboard ads on a daily basis. Sighing, she took out the bus pass she'd bought three days prior after Quinn had picked her up to take her to Y.A.A.L. Denise had long since quit working at the grocery store and had been hired as part time staff at Y.A.A.L. She'd been hired on for the history part, teaching the children history through books and just regular tutorial ideas. She enjoyed this job much better than she had the grocery store and the little kids were so cute, she'd immediately softened toward them.

Taking a deep breath, Denise went to the bus stop. Once she got there, she sat down and pulled out a book she'd started reading about two days ago, because it had been on her list of things to do, from her book bag. She flipped it to the page she'd left off of and began reading.

Jordan flipped the switch on the radio. There was a song by Tupac Shakir called Brenda's got a baby playing. Although he didn't like the way Tupac usually dissed women in his lyrics, he loved the flow of the young man's voice. He could make words come alive, jump off the pages when he wanted to. Turning the volume up on the dial, he listened as he sang about some girl getting knocked up while living in the projects. Jordan couldn't relate, because he'd never lived in the "hood," and didn't want to from the way Tupac was rapping. He'd eaten lunch around third hour and was still thirsty. Reaching for the glove compartment, he twisted the small lock, it fell open and he searched around for a some change. He kept his eyes in between the road and the compartment. Pulling to a stop for a red light, he shuffled the papers around. When he came to an envelope, he pulled it out. Along with it, came a photo on top. He grabbed the photo and envelope together and looked at the picture. He rolled his eyes with a loud groan. It was one of he and Denise together. She was holding him around the neck, getting ready to place a kiss on his cheek. Despite an over extended annoyance that occurred, he smiled. Her eyes were so vibrant and life like, that he felt a lump form in the base of his throat. Swallowing the lump, he put it back into the compartment and then shut it.

Denise closed her book just as the bus was making it's way to her. She put it inside her bag, and grabbed her bus pass from a side pocket. She waited till the bus pulled up to her stop, and then jumped on it. She was relieved. She'd had to walk a mile toward down town, before she could catch a bus there, going to Brinkwood, a small suburban area, which would take her to a town called Riley, where she'd get on the bus there and then continue from there to Richmond. The total time to get there would take two hours, but she figured it was worth it to be able to talk to her mom. She swiped her card, heard it clear and then found a seat in the back of the bus. She laid back and decided to rest till she got to Brink wood.

Brink wood was only thirty minutes from Hampton, which caused her to be gleeful, because she was now one quarter of the way there. When she caught the bus from Brinkwood, to Riley, she discovered that Riley was a very small town. So small in fact, that it didn't have a bus system connecting it to the city. Denise sighed, agitated. She really needed to talk to her mother, desperately. She put her face in her hands and sank down on the sidewalk where she'd been let off.

"Need a ride?"

Denise looked up. A smile came to her features. "Oh my God, Lasaire, how'd you get here?"

Lasaire shrugged, "Ya like my new ride, De?" Although her accent was still native to her land, she'd adopted some of the connotations they'd used here.

Denise laughed, "It's clean." She referred to the exterior, while running her hands along the body of the car.

Lasaire laughed, "Thanks, I got a job this past October and saved up for it."

Denise raised both brows, "Look at you doing your thang,"

Lasaire giggled, "Get in and I'll take you where you need to go."

Denise sighed, relieved that she wouldn't have to beg a stranger, got up and grabbed her bag.

When she got into the vehicle, Lasaire reminded her of the safety rules; seat belts first. After buckling herself in, Denise sighed, "I can't believe this," She stated, still in shock over the turn of events. Lasaire sighed, "Yea, maybe God knew you needed a ride, so he sent me along your way."

Denise nodded, "I sure do appreciate it, because I didn't know how I was going to get to where I wanted to."

Lasaire laughed, "The Lord always provide Denise."

Denise looked over at her. "You're a Christian?"

Lasaire nodded proudly, "Yep. Since I was six years old."

"Impressive. So, how did you get out here?" Denise inquired as the car left the curb and went back into the trickle of traffic.

Lasaire shut off the music she'd been listening to, so that she could answer Denise. "Well, I was going out to the lake, planning to do some ice skating."

"What lake?" Denise wandered, staring at Lasaire confused.

"Lake -" Lasaire replied.

"They have a lake out here too?"

Lasaire nodded, "Aren't you taking Geography this year?"

"Well, yeah, but I never pay attention." Denise admitted while leaning her head back comfortably in the seat.

Lasaire laughed, "Well, maybe you should."

Denise sighed, "You know Lasaire," She began, switching topics.

"Yeah?"

"I thought you hated me too." Denise told her.

Lasaire sighed, patting Denise on the head. "No one hates you, Denise."

Denise nodded, "Tanya won't even talk to me because I broke up with Jordan. He's so angry with me, and then my sister thinks I'm stupid." Denise sighed.

"Ah, I believe you two are just taking a break."

Denise paused and glanced over at Lasaire. "What?"

Lasaire sighed, "I believe you two are just taking a break. You'll get together again."

Denise laughed, "No we wont, he has a girlfriend."

Lasaire came to the town's only stop light, three blocks after their only bus stop. The stop light was located three feet from two roads that led into a wooded area. Denise stared, wondering what was beyond the point of the light.

Lasaire made a left when the light turned green, continuing on their way. "De, Jordan, no matter how much he tries to deny it, still loves you.”

Denise shrugged, "What's that got to do with anything? He's got a girlfriend." She emphasized the girlfriend part.

Lasaire laughed, "Jordan didn't tell you about the Gregory men did he?"

Denise sighed, "What do you mean?"

Lasaire sighed, "The Gregory men are very noble from where we come from. His dad's dad was a Gregory."

"That makes Jordan a Gregory?" Denise wanted to know.

"Yes. Jordan's dad was a Gregory as well, till his father was adopted when he was a young lad. His dad took on the name Williams after his step father, Scott Williams back in Ireland."

"Really?" Denise was surprised.

"Yes. That's how Jordan became a Williams. Anyway, the back to the Gregory men..."

Denise cut her off, "Wait, how can you be a Gregory too?"

Lasaire laughed, "My mom's English, and my dad's Irish. Dad came to England to visit and while there, he and my mom fell in love. A few years later, they married."

"So, then how'd you end up in Ireland?" Denise pondered, her hand on her chin.

"Ya sure are inquisitive." Lasaire noted.

"I'm sorry if I'm getting too personal." Denise apologized, sitting her hands in her lap.

Lasaire looked over at her, surprised. It was not like Denise to apologize.

"It's alright," She finally spoke to her friend. "My family goes back and fourth between Ireland and England. During three months of summer, they send me to Ireland with our Aunt Bess."

Denise nodded, "Ok, that makes since."

Lasaire sighed and stopped at a stop sign, where she made a right, "Anyway, the Gregory men are passionate for what they want."

Denise sighed, "He's got a girl, Lasaire."

Lasaire shook her head, "He doesn't treat her with nearly as much love as he showed you."

Denise swallowed guiltily, "That just proves I broke his heart." She whispered.

Lasaire stopped the car and turned her attention to her. "No, it just proves that you have your work cut in for you."

Denise moaned, "He has a girl Lasaire."

"She's just there because he's mad at you. When you show him that you really want him back, and that you're serious about commitment, he'll come to you."

Denise shook her head in denial. "No.”

Lasaire put a hand on her shoulder, looked her in the eyes, her gaze not wavering. "Don't be like that, Denise. Learn how to take advice."

Denise stared, shocked at the intensity of her gaze. "I'm just stating a fact."

Lasaire shook her head, "No, you're being pig headed and stubborn, that's what got you into this mess in the first place. You say it was because of those doubts that Sherry placed in your head. Denise..." Lasaire inhaled sharply, "I may have known you only for six months, but I already know how you are. "You're very intelligent, independent in your thoughts and actions, so for something that Sherry said to get to you, actually crumble what you and Jordan have, you allowed it to. You refused to deal with the real issue."

Denise folded her arms. How many times was someone going to tell her about herself in a single year? "What was the real issue?"

"Fear. Fear of loosing your heart." Lasaire stated as though that was a fact.

"Fear of loosing my heart?" Denise was open now.

Lasaire sighed. "Yes. Obviously you never noticed how you two responded to each other. You guys had a real chemistry that is very rare these days."

"Oh really?" Denise tested.

"Yes. I bet you the way he made you feel confused your heart and mind. Your heart was loving it, but your mind was getting all irrational."

Denise sighed, "Alright, if that was the case, what would you be suggesting?"

Lasaire cleared her throat. "Well, the Gregory men are known for their passion and any time it's been stomped on, the best way to light the fire again is to actually pursue them."

"Pursue the guy?" Denise was surprised.

"Yes, if you truly want to know whether Jordan loves you as he say he does, go after him."

They stopped at another red light, not five miles outside of where Denise was dropped off at.

"What will that do?" Denise was confused. Wasn't the guy supposed to go after the girl?

"That...my darling, will tell you if he means it when he say he loves you, because at first, he'll be hard to withstand, because the more he loves you, the worse it'll be for you. After a while, you'll see him beginning to weaken, till finally he gives in."

Denise stared at Lasaire as if she'd lost her mind. Lasaire smiled, "I know, it sounds stupid, but that's the way it is with the Gregory men, you either when or loose. Which ever comes first."

Denise groaned inwardly. How was she supposed to do this? Go after the guy she loved, especially when he had a girl?

"David, schedule the nine o'clock appointment with Mrs. Winters for three o'clock on Monday afternoon, and please restock the fridge in here, it's getting bare rather quickly." Renee commanded of her secretary as she stared down at the last proposal she was writing.

"Yes ma'am," David responded through the intercom. A few seconds later, the intercom was buzzed again, "Mrs. Garrette." David called through.

"Yes," She responded back.

"There's a Denise Calloway out here to see you..."

Renee didn't even allow him to finish, before she told him to send her in. When she came in, Renee looked up at her daughter, seeing her own image. "What's up baby?"

Denise sighed, and sat down in an empty chair. "I need some advice, but first I want to talk to you about some other stuff."

"In regards to?" Renee inquired as she continued her work.

"I need your full attention mom." Denise stated, her tone firm. Renee looked up and put her pen down on the desk. "What's wrong?"

Denise inhaled a sharp breath, then exhaled, and then proceeded to explain to her exactly what was going on in her life.

 

 

 

 

Chapter Thirty Three: Mother and daughter Talk

 

Renee sat there, listening to her daughter, completely shocked. She'd no idea that Denise felt this way about her or anything from her past, and least of all about Jordan. He was such a nice young man. She waited till Denise was finished talking and they'd sat there silently starring across the room at one another, till finally Mrs. Richards spoke. "Wow."

Denise let out a hesitant laugh, "Well, I've felt like this for quite some time."

"So, you want me to quit my job?" Mrs. Richards inquired, stunned.

"No. I just want you to spend more time at home with your family. If I'd been able to talk to you about all of these issues, then maybe I wouldn't be having to do this now."

Renee nodded her head. "Ok. I thought you had gotten over Stacy's passing. You went to therapy for four years because of her death. When you got out, the doctors said that you were fine."

Denise sighed, and grabbed up the pendulum on her mother's desk, in the right hand corner. She grabbed one of the small beads and swung. It clacked against the other ones with a loud but steady sound. "Well, I did. I mean about as much as any girl can heal while talking to complete strangers. I really would've rather talked to you about it. You knew Stacy, you had been around her, you said that Stacy was like a second daughter to you."

Renee nodded. "Yes, she was, but Denise, Stacy's been gone for years, why bring this up now?"

"I'm just letting you know how I felt back then, mom. This has nothing to do with today. I've gotten past that."

Renee respected her daughter's straight forwardness. "So, what's the real problem?"

"Well, I would love to spend some time with you, get to know you." Denise stated, her tone even. She felt an ache that she had long since suppressed.

Renee raised a brow. "I'm your mother, what else do you need to know?"

Denise shook her head in frustration, "Of course, but I don't know anything about you. I find it strange that we've lived together for seventeen years and I still don't know anything about you. Do you really know anything about me?"

Renee exhaled sharply, "I know some stuff about you."

"Such as what?"

"Your favorite color is baby blue. You love stuffed animals, and you love to play tennis."

"And..." Denise persisted.

"And..." Her mother tried to think of something else, but came up blank.

”“And," Denise began, "of the facts that you named, only one is still a favorite. Tennis. I grew out of stuffed animals, I don't mind blue, but it's not my favorite color. After Stacy's death, I changed it to white and then after therapy I changed it to Yellow, now, it's a morbid black. My favorite school subject is History, because I want to one day work in The New York Museum. I currently have a GPA of three point nine, but I don't know if I'll even pass Mr. Kerris's class, considering he tries to kill us with the work, and oh yes, I have been doing some soul searching you know, just to find out who I am and what I want, thanks to my good friend Quinton, who's gay just so you know."

Renee inhaled sharply, "ok, wow. What do you want to talk about Denise?"

Denise cleared her throat. "Well, that other stuff isn't as important right now as my relationship with Jordan." She stated, starring her mother in the eyes.

"Ok, I thought you two broke up?" Renee frowned with this statement.

"We did. We broke up because of my stupidity."

"Why'd you break up?" Her mother now had her face in her hands and was leaning across her desk.

Denise wandered how many times she'd actually told this story as she went into the details.

After Denise completed her story, her mother sat behind the desk quite perplexed. She wanted to respond, but wasn't exactly sure how to do so, since what she really wanted to say might really hurt her daughter's feelings. Sighing, she said, "OK, let me get this straight, you never had sex with him, but accused him of using you for sex?"

Denise nodded, licking her lips, seeing how dumb it actually sounded now.

Renee nodded, and tried to hold her laughter in.

"And...get this mom, Sherry told me that. If I hadn't listened..."

"Who's Sherry?" Renee's laughter settled in the pit of her stomach as she asked about this girl.

"Some stupid girl that thinks she's at the top of the food chain. She doesn't like me because I stand up to her and..."

"So, wait..." Renee leaned forward on her elbows, looking at her daughter, "You mean to tell me that you don't even like this girl, and somehow you managed to let her convince you that Jordan was no good?"

Denise blushed, feeling dumber by the second. "Rub it in thick mom."

Renee swallowed more of her laughter through a deep breath. "Ok. Any how, go on."

"So, after we break up, Quinton suggest I go on this journey of figuring out myself and one of these processes involves me telling you this as well as confronting Sherry."

"Confronting Sherry for what?" Renee asked.

"Well, it's her fault that Jordan and I broke up in the first place." Denise stated.

Renee raised a brow, interesting choice of words. "How is it her fault?"

"Because, had she not spoken those words to me, it wouldn't have happened." Denise stated, her arms now folded across her chest.

Renee shook her head, disagreeing, "No. You can't blame her for that."

Denise rolled her eyes, "Whatever mom, if she wasn't such a b..." Denise stopped and replaced that word with witch.

Renee sighed and said, "Denise, it's as much as your fault as it is hers. I know for a fact that you are a control freak."

Denise shrugged. "I don't try to control people."

"But you try so hard to keep your life in a compactable device. I mean, from the time you were a child, you always decided what was and what wasn't."

"I just know what I like and what I don't."

"No, there's more to it than that. I remember when you met Stacy in the first grade, you actually ventured out more and she seemed to ease your need to be on top all the time. You allowed her to lead instead of yourself and I think with Jordan, it's the same way. You actually trusted him more than you wanted too, so that scared you. You're afraid to let him take the lead."

Denise sighed and thought about this.

"What you need to do Denise, and I'm only telling you this, because you came to talk to me about this, " Mrs. Garrette stated, "Is prove that you love Jordan. But, for some reason you don't want to admit your mistake."

Denise quickly rebutted, "I do believe I made a mistake."

"Have you told him this?" Mrs. Garrette inquired.

Denise sighed, "No."

"Then you haven't taken the necessary track to healing your relationship."

Denise let out an exasperated sigh, "Mom, he's got another girl."

Mrs. Garrette heard the pain in her daughter's voice. She thought carefully about this. "How long have they been dating?"

Denise wiped a lone tear from her cheek. "A month."

Mrs. Garrette smiled, temporarily confusing her daughter. "A month is nothing compared to ten. You can get him back."

"Didn't you always say never chase guys?" Denise wanted to know.

"Yes, but in your case, because you pushed him away, you have to show him that you want him. You made a mistake." Renee explained.

"But mom..." Denise began, but Renee cut her off. "Do you love him?"

Denise sighed, "Yes."

"Then prove it."

Denise left her mom's office, overwhelmed with her thoughts, feeling so much pain, hope, fear, everything at once. She wanted to cry, but the tears wouldn't come. She wanted to stop the trembling, but found her efforts useless. She went and used the phone to call Lasaire, who had offered to come and get her if her mother wasn't going to be done with her work day. Denise picked up the receiver and dialed Lasaire's number.

 

 

Chapter Thirty Four: The Plan

 

 

Diary, Now that I know what went wrong and that it was me who did the wrong, I must say that I am not that great at apologizing. How do I get him to listen? Do I just go up to him and start talking, or do I talk to him in class? What? I don't know. It's confusing. Plus, he has a girlfriend. One who's very pretty and seem like she's extremely nice. She and him are a-lot alike. They are the perfect couple, so I think that there's no possible way he'd give me a second chance. To choose me over her, that's preposterous.

Well, that's all, I'm going to bed now,

Love always, Denise

December 5, 1998

Jordan grabbed the gallon of cool aide from the fridge and brought it to the table where he and his mother sat. She stared at him, not saying anything in particular, which drove him crazy. He hated when she did that. This look only meant something was going through her mind and had more often than not. He sat down in his seat and picked up his fork. He was about to tear into the pecan pie she'd made, but stopped when he felt her gaze become acute.

"What?" He inquired, raising his head to look at her. Shaking her head, she responded, "Nothing."

"Why do you keep staring at me?" He wanted to know, while setting his fork on the side of his plate.

"Well, I was thinking of how much you look like your father." She commented, taking the pitcher he'd sat in the middle of the table, to fill her glass.

"Oh. Do I really look a lot like him?" Jordan asked, swelling with pride.

"Yes. He would be so proud of you right now." She stated, smiling.

Jordan noticed the tears in her eyes, "Mom, it's alright." He grabbed her hand and held it in his.

Mrs. Williams wiped her eyes, inhaled sharply and cleared her throat. "Jordan, it's been a whole month since you and Sebrea started dating one another, when are you going to bring her to dinner?"

"I'm not ready yet." He stated, sticking the fork into his pie. Mrs. Williams sighed, "You know, I'm starting to think you're using Sebrea." Jordan didn't respond, just continued eating.

"I mean, she's a very sweet girl, who deserves better than what you're giving her." Mrs. Williams took another sip of her drink.

Jordan felt the tips of his ears began to burn. He was not using Sebrea. He'd never asked her for anything.

"It's been a month and you don't talk about her hardly ever, and not only that, you refuse to bring her anywhere near this house. I wonder how much about yourself have you told her?"

Jordan swallowed the pecan pie, the dessert tasteless as it went down. "Why are you saying that, mother?" He looked across the table at Anita Williams, his green eyes, veiled.

"Because, Jordan, if you were really interested in her, you'd treat her the same way you treated Denise, but you don't."

Jordan shook his head, oblivious to his mother's meaning. "I open doors for her, I call her. When we go out, I spend my money and we have good conversation. Why do I have to bring her home?"

"Because it would mean you're serious about her." Anita stated.

"What do you mean? I'm not trying to get serious. I'm enjoying the moment right now."

Mrs. Williams sighed, and propped her elbows up on the table, putting her face into her hands. "Enjoying the moment?"

He shrugged his shoulders.

"Jordan, I've never known you to enjoy the moment. You've always gone after what you want. If it held no interest for you, you left it where it was at. Never spending more time than what you were willing. Now, Sebrea is very pretty and she deserves the best."

Jordan rolled his eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, Mr. Williams. I'm speaking the truth. You're using her to compensate for your fall out with Denise. Does she even know about Denise?"

"Mom, I really don't want to talk about Denise, right now." Jordan stated, setting his fork down.

"I bet you don't. As a matter of fact, you barely talk about what happened with her and why the two of you broke up. I'm your mother and I've always thought we were close, but the one thing you won't share with me is what matters the most."

Jordan pushed his chair out from under the table, stood up and stared at his mother, his green eyes hard. "She didn't want anything to do with me. She said that I wanted to use her for sex, and because of that, she broke up with me."

"I didn't know you were having sex." His mother stared, quite stunned.

"We weren't." His cheeks were flushed, embarrassed at having to tell his mother something like this.

"Oh, wow." His mother was confused. They weren't having sex, yet she accused him of using her for that purpose? Mrs. Williams thought this ironic. "Did you tell her other wise?"

Jordan grabbed his bag, "Yeah, it was pretty obvious mom. I told her, even tried to convince her that I really do love her and she just said no. She said she needed time to figure out what was going on in her life." He proceeded to leave, but then turned back when he reached the side door. Dropping his bag, he pleaded for an answer from his mother, "Why did she do that? I love that girl so much, that sometimes it hurts to breathe and although Sebrea's a really sweet girl and totally my type, I can't stop thinking about Denise. Why won't it just go away?"

"Maybe you should give it another try? Alot of times when girls see other girls with a guy that they have feelings for, they come around because they know when they had a good thing."

"I don't want to try mom." Jordan's tone was flat.

"Why not?"

"Because she told me some things that really hurt. She said she hated me because I made her have feelings. How can you hate someone for making you feel? She's got too much drama for my taste." His tone was sour.

"Sometimes in order to get to the real heart, you have to peel back all of the cob webs. She's obviously been hurt. Whether it's been love or something else, she's afraid."

"There's a lot of things she told me about that gives substance to why she's the way she is."

"Offer to help."

"I already did. She said no."

"Then wait till she's ready."

Jordan sighed, "I don't want to do that. She is not going to dangle me like some damn object on a string." His tone sound frustrated.

Mrs. Williams sighed, "Alright then, stay miserable Jordan. But, I'm telling you, you need to tell Sebrea what's going on with you and her, because if you don't, you could really end up hurting her."

Jordan shrugged, "It's just casual dating, nothing serious."

"Does she know that you're using her to get rid of your feelings for Denise?"

"Don't say that."

Mrs. Williams laughed, "No. I will to say it, because you know it's the truth. You are in love and don't want to clean up the junk that's in the way. You would rather mislead a good woman. It's men with your mind set that breaks hearts. Instead of confronting the issue, you move on. That's not helping matters any."

Jordan sighed, exasperated, knowing that she spoke the truth. Walking away from the kitchen, he felt as if he didn't need to hear this right now.

Denise pushed the covers off of her body and got up. She couldn't sleep, wouldn't sleep until she did something about this. She'd tried to talk herself into waiting till later that morning at school, but after four hours of no sleep, she needed to see him. It was like once she got something in her head, she couldn't, wouldn't rest until it was done. Inhaling sharply, she walked over to her closet and withdrew a pair of pants, purple sweater and a coat to cover up in once out doors. She pulled on the pants, jacket and sweater and then went to her dresser, where she grabbed a pair of thermal socks and boots that rested on the floor next to the amoire. Sighing, she sat down on the bed and put on the rest of the items.

Jordan flipped over on his back. This was what life had become for him now. Every night, he had to will himself to get his mind clear and focus on sleeping. He groaned, hating to be this way. It was so out of his nature. He was such a happy guy, always being able to bounce back from anything, but not this, this was driving him crazy. Night and day, day and night, it was all the same. He got tired of thinking about her, loosing sleep over the idea that she was with a guy who was supposed to be gay. He sighed, if anyone could turn a gay guy straight, Denise could.

One sway of her hips, or a gaze into those large brown eyes and puddy would be the result of any guy she came across. He couldn't stop wondering how long they'd been together. Had it been since before they'd broken up? Had it been right after? He didn't know, he just knew the image of her hugging Quinn made his stomach turn. He groaned as he saw the adoration in her eyes once more as he remembered this. That was the same look she'd given him on a daily basis. He'd always thought he made her happy. He'd always thought he was the one she looked forward to seeing at the end of the day.

Letting out an agonizing cry, Jordan groaned into his pillow and then fed up, threw it out across the large room. He exhaled sharply and then relaxed into his sheets, counting sheep.

Denise climbed the tree outside his window. She knew that trying the door bell would risk waking his mother, and that she didn't want to happen. Inhaling the cold, she breathed deeply, and then exhaled. Leaning on a branch, she knocked on the window.

Jordan ignored the tapping against his window. He dismissed it as the howling winds. Sighing, he tried to settle back into his comfort zone, but the tapping on the window increased. Finally after several raps, he sat up in bed. At first, the shadow across his window scared him, but then he was able to make out a hand. Squinting, he wondered who would be knocking this late. His gaze flickered to the clock on the night stand. It read one thirty that morning. Sighing, he went to the window and pulled it up. Just as he did this, the figure jumped out at him and he stood there shocked, motionless.

Denise lost her footing on the window sill due to the small streak of ice that had coated itself there and stumbled inside. As she slipped forward, she saw the color drain from Jordan's face as she was sent careening into him, knocking both of them to the floor. A small scream leaped from her throat as she did this.

Jordan gasped loudly, feeling the stiff coldness of the outside jacket as the figure and he crashed to the ground. A sort of squeal was let out as she landed on top of him. His mind halted right there. A she? The fear leaving him immediately, he pulled the cap away from her face and the words were stuck in his throat. He had to be dreaming, right?

Denise stared, her brown eyes a little blurry from adjusting to the warmth of the room temperature compared to the blistering cold outside. She stared into shocked green pupils, unsure of what to do, what to say or how to even start. She'd almost forgotten the full force of his piercing gaze over the past three months. A jump start of the heart, reminded her of the weakness she felt when ever looking into them and suddenly a shadow of queasiness entered her stomach.

Jordan don't know where he got the strength to push her off, but he did. He shoved her off of him and onto the floor. Standing up, he leaned down and helped her up. She took his hand, hers freezing, trembling. He rubbed them together, and then went to the hallway closet next to his bathroom. Grabbing a blanket, he brought it in to her. Her jacket had been removed and was now draped over the chair sitting at his desk. He put the blanket around her shoulders, not really saying much. After a minute, when the chattering stopped and she began to thaw out, Jordan sighed, "What do you want Denise? Why are you here?" His tone sounded more raw than he intended, causing her to cringe. He ignored the instinct to soften his voice. Instead, he waited for her to answer.

Chapter Thirty Five: Talking

Denise was at a lost for words. Exactly where was she supposed to start? How was she supposed to tell him that she loved him and wanted to be with him, and realize that she made a mistake? Inhaling sharply, she closed her eyes and counted to ten before exhaling and then opening her eyes to stare into his probing ones. Pulling the blanket around her shoulders, she held it tightly to her.

"I wanted to talk about us." Her gaze was running over the red and blue quilted pattern.

Jordan narrowed his eyes, "Talk about us?" His voice questioning.

"Yes."

He cleared his throat and stated, "There is no us."

Denise glanced up at him from the blanket. "I know you still love me Jordan."

He licked his lips, "That's not enough for you Denise." His tone was a bit nipped. She disagreed. "Yes it is."

He looked her in the eyes, "Since when?"

"Since we first became an us."

This made him laugh. "Damn, that's weird, because I remember you saying a lot of awful things to me when we were together that night, Denise. Or don't you remember? You said you hated me. You didn't want to be with me. I was using you and you said that you weren't going to be used, remember?"

Denise swallowed, "I was being irrational."

"How long did it take you to figure this one out?" His tone was harsh.

Denise had no answer for that. She just chewed on her bottom lip. Immediately his attention was drawn to the bottom lip and he watched for a few seconds then said, "Stop doing that."

Surprised, she was brought back into this world. "What?"

"Stop chewing on your lip. You're biting the skin off and that's gross."

Her mouth ceased it's movement. He sighed, "Look, Denise, I do love you, but I'm seeing someone else."

Her head shot back up and she peered into his eyes. They were unreadable. "If you love me, why won't you be with me?"

Jordan gave a halfhearted smile and grabbed her chin, "Because she is a good woman. I'm not going to hurt her for you. I love you, but I'm with her."

Denise stared at him confused. "Jordan, that doesn't make any since."

Jordan swallowed, "I want to be with Sebrea, Denise. I want to try to work things out with her." Denise's heart fell to the floor and she felt a heaviness descend upon her. She shook her head, "No. That's not right. You can't love one woman and be with another, it's crazy."

Jordan shrugged his shoulders, "It's not fair to break up with her for a girl who claims she loves me, but haven't spoken to me in a month. It's not fair to let her go for a girl who was only driven to me out of Jealousy. Denise..." He exhaled, "I don't want your jealousy. I love you but I'm not stupid. If I break up with Sebrea for you, you'll leave again. You'll continue to do so, till you just decide you're done with me and that's not a chance I'm willing to take."

Wide eyed, Denise exclaimed, "But I love you, Jordan. I know I was stupid for breaking up with you over something that had nothing to do with you what so ever, but I don't want to lie to myself." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I don't want to miss my chance Jordan."

Jordan smiled at this, finding it poetic in it's own way. "You already did, Denise. I'm not going to break up with Sebrea for you. I refuse to do so."

"But...why?" Denise whispered, her throat starting to ache.

"Because, I can't do that. That's not me." Jordan stated.

Denise shook her head in denial. Looking up at him, her lips pursed, she whispered, "I love you so much."

His green eyes shimmered, the hardness replaced with the Jordan she knew. Jordan felt the jolt take hold in his heart. He felt a tenderness come in as she said those words, but quickly pushed his feelings to the back. Gazing into her big brown eyes, he felt the anger he had subside. Replaced with it was compassion. Grasping her hands, he brought them up for a kiss.

The soft touch of skin to her hand, made Denise's heart thud. She watched in awe, the ache in her heart heavier as he kissed the back of her hand and said in a calm voice, "You have to leave, Denise."

The tears she'd been holding back surfaced and gushed down her face, putting holes through her heart, leaking out the pain. She whispered, "Jordan...please."

He closed his eyes, and pulled her up. "I'll take you home."

"Jordan, talk to me. Why not?" She gasped, weak kneed. He stopped and sighed, "Because De-De, I won't cast her aside for you."

"Not even if you loved me?"

Jordan turned and looked her in the eyes, "Would you do that if you were in my position? If I'd hurt you the way you hurt me De-De, would you just tell your new boyfriend that you were leaving him for me after I hurt you?"

Denise stared at him, not able to answer. After a few minutes he nodded his head, "You don't love me as much as I love you Denise."

"I do love you Jordan." She whispered.

He swallowed, "Oh really?"

"Yes."

He was silent for a moment, not knowing if he should do this, but then he thought of the status of his relationship with Sebrea. Although he liked being around her and she was a blast of fun, he couldn't pretend the obvious. Looking back at Denise, he sighed, "You love me, right?"

"Yes." She whispered.

"You want to be with me, right?" He asked, his tone contemplative.

"Yes."

He nodded, understanding. "Prove it."

Denise sniffled, "Prove it? How?"

He rubbed her hand, "You have to figure that out."

Denise narrowed her eyes, "What do you mean I have to figure it out. You are the one who gave me this challenge."

Jordan swallowed, "I will give you a chance if you can prove to me that you're worth it. Prove to me that I am who you want, that you've truly learned your lesson."

Denise shrugged, "I don't get it."

Jordan sighed, "Come on, I have to take you home before mom wakes up." He escorted her out of the room and out into the hallway.

"So I love you isn't enough?" She was confused again.

He didn't answer. Instead he took her down the stairs and out to his car. Once the car was running, heat blasting, he turned to her and answered the previous question.

"No, I love you isn't enough. Anyone can say that."

She looked up at him, her brown eyes sparkling. "How do I know you mean it when you say it?"

He ran a hand along her cheek, "Because you know me, De-De. Just like I know you."

Denise turned her eyes back to her folded hands. She placed her hands in her lap and thought. What kind of game was he trying to play? Was this really worth it?

Once the car pulled up outside her house, Denise got out. Looking back at him, she looked in to see if he was serious. His facial expression was sincere. Deeply sincere. How was she supposed to figure out how to do what he asked? How Was she supposed to prove her love? Prove that he was the only one she wanted?

After Jordan left her house, he drove home with a smile on his face. Not only was he ecstatic at the fact that she actually came to him, but he was going to enjoy seeing just how far she'd go to prove that she loved him, wanted to be with him. He'd thought it was too easy to tell her yes. It was too easy for him to reveal his true feelings for her. It was too easy for her to push Sebrea out of the picture for good. He didn't want that. He still loved her, wanted to be with her, but he wasn't going to be a fool. He was going to make sure that she knew that the ball was in his court, that he called all the shots. Most importantly, she was going to allow someone else to take the lead for once. Now, the simple part was done. Not giving in was going to take sheer will power for him, not revealing his true emotions. He stepped on the break, to stop at a red light.

What was going to be challenging was getting Sebrea to understand exactly what he was doing. He knew no girl in her right mind would want to be pitted against another girl, but he figured he may as well put the truth out there, let her know. He enjoyed her company, and thought she was a great girl, but his heart was already somewhere else. His mom had been right, it was best to tell her the truth than to just let her find out through someone else, which would no doubt get him into more than enough trouble. Sighing, he glanced at his wrist. His watch read a quarter till three. Great, he had to get up in three hours for school and he had basketball practice later that day.

Denise donned on a pair of flair's, picked out her Afro, tied it away from her face with a ribbon, smoothed over the white and black striped sweater she wore, and grabbed her lip gloss before school that morning. She put the round tube into her bag, grabbed her house keys a pair of gloves and left her room for breakfast.

That morning as she made her way down stairs and into the kitchen, her mother was in the kitchen, flipping a pancake in a pan. Vicki sat at her usual spot at the table and so did her dad. Denise stopped inside the door, watching as Vicki and her father talked about the day's activities. She swung her gaze back to her mother, who was dressed in a pair of slacks and turtleneck, an apron had been tied around her neck. "Denise, good morning." Her mother stated, turning around to greet her with a smile. Denise's gaze went to the table where a plate of bacon, eggs and orange juice sat out for everyone's reach. Denise gave a small smile, "Hi mom." She went to the table and sat down in front of Vicki who smiled at her and told her what a nice sweater she wore. Denise eyes narrowed in suspicion. What was going on here? Hesitantly grabbing a plate, Denise looked at the eggs and bacon, noticing for the first time the growl in her stomach. Glancing up at her mother, she asked, "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

Mrs. Richards smiled, "I'm not going in until later today. I decided to take a half day today, that way we could have some free time together, you, me, Vicki and Garrette could spend the day together, doing family stuff." Mrs. Richards had a cool aide smile on her face. Denise raised both eye brows, "But mom, we do have school this morning and it's the dead of winter, what are we going to do in the middle of winter?"

Mrs. Richards laughed, "Well, after you left my office on Tuesday, I began surfing the net for activities that we could do together as a family. There's four I want to try today."

Vicki who'd been pretty silent, spoke up, glancing over at their mother. "Four? How long do you expect us to be out today?"

"I can't miss school," Denise interjected, starring up at her mother in horror. We're getting a new packet today in Mr. Kerris's class. I can't miss his class. If I do, I'll never catch up."

Renee rolled her eyes as she grabbed the coffee pot and poured her husband another cup. "One day is not going to kill you Denise."

"But, it's going to push me behind everyone else."

Vicki laughed, "You are such a nerd, Denise, don't nobody care if you miss one day. You act like you're going to flunk the whole semester if you're gone just one day."

Denise lowered her brows at Vicki, "Unlike you, I have goals for after I graduate."

Vicki sighed, exaggerating, "Well, excuse me for not thinking my world is going to end if I miss a day and anyway, I do have plans for after I graduate."

Denise huffed, "I'm sure you do." Her tone was full of sarcasm.

"Alright, girls, that's enough." Garrette cut in. He stilled their banter. "Just appreciate the fact that your mother did take enough time off work to spend some time with us. That's what matters." Turning to Denise, he smiled, "You need a break Denise, don't even think about school today, just enjoy the festivities."

Denise looked up at her mother and then around at her family and sighed. Her stepfather had a good point. She really needed to get out and have some fun, plus it wasn't everyday that she and her family had the opportunity to spend time together as such. Smiling, she said, "Ok mom, where do we go first?"

First hour was a miss, there was no problem. Second hour was a maybe she'll show up, but by third hour, he was getting worried. Denise never missed class. He sighed and thought about going over to her house, but then reminded himself that he had to be strong. He couldn't just do stuff like that just because he was concerned. He'd have to wait it out, just like a friend would. Inhaling sharply, he waited for the end of third hour.

"I can't skate, mom."

"You don't even want to try?" Mrs. Richards questioned, trying to convince Denise to join her, Vicki and Garrette out on the ice.

"That would be too much physical activity for the brainiac," Vicki cracked, a sly grin on her face.

"No it's not. Shut up."

"You shut up." Vicki reiterated.

"No, you shut up!" Denise yelled at her, hands on her hips.

Vicki stuck her tongue out at Denise.

Denise reciprocated, sticking her tongue out as well. She watched for a minute as her family made circles around one another on the ring. The way they were doing it. Ice skating didn't look too hard. Sighing, she decided to give it a try. Getting up, she balanced the blades as she crunched through the snow and made her way toward the ice rink. How hard could ice skating be? She soon found out, as she slid across the ice, desperately trying to balance herself. She wobbled side to side, catching herself there and standing a little straighter. She seemed to have gotten the hang of it, until she was sent backward. Before her head even hit the pavement, she thought of its sound. That was brief though, because nothing compared to the hard smack she felt when her head did hit. Immediately, she blacked out.

 

Chapter Thirty Six

Denise's vision was blurry when she awoke. Her step dad and mother were standing over her, staring down at her.

"Are you ok, Denise?" This question came from her mother, who was smoothing her hair down. For some reason, Denise found this irritating. Pulling her mom's hand from her hair, she said, "Yeah, mom, I'm alright, but could you lay off with the hand thing?"

Mrs. Richards stopped the gestures of comfort and cleared her throat.

Denise felt a sweltering pain take hold in the back of her head. It felt like she'd been hit by a semi truck or something. Looking up, she inhaled sharply and stared at Garrette. "How long was I out?"

Garrette shrugged,"an hour and a half maybe?"

Denise nodded, glanced around her room, taking in everything. Nothing looked unfamiliar to her, no changes, nothing. Sighing, she looked back at her mother. "I'm fine mom."

Mrs. Richards laughed, "That's good, you hit your head pretty hard."

"Did I?"

"Don't you remember?" Garrette inquired. Denise thought, trying to remember. She couldn't. "How did I fall?”

"Trying to ice skate." Her mother supplied the answer.

"Ice Skating? That's a stupid sport. Why would I do something like that?"

Mrs. Richards smiled down at her, "Baby, you tried it."

"Uhk." Denise cringed. She didn't even like ice skating. Couldn't imagine herself doing that. Sighing, she pushed the covers off of her and went to her closet.

"What are you doing?" Renee asked her.

"Taking a shower. I need one." She looked through the closet and frowned at most of the stuff that was in there. God, she definitely needed new clothes. Sliding hanger after hanger over, she stopped when she came to a green blouse that had a drooping v-line. She then looked in the pants section and pulled out a pair of black leggings. Going to her drawer, she pulled out some undergarments and then headed for the bathroom.

When Denise came down the stairs, she'd pinned her hair up in a comb that held the curls away from her face, pulling off an elegant look. The black leggings had been worn with a pair of small flats made to look comfortable. When she entered the living room, her mother was seated on the couch, watching television.

"I thought you were going to work later on today?" Denise inquired, looking at her.

Mrs. Richards looked up at her daughter, drawn speechless. She'd always known Denise was beautiful, but not that beautiful. Her eyes went to the sweater she wore and then got bug eyed when she took in the full breasts resting inside.

"Go take that off, or put on a shirt underneath it."

Denise stopped, "Why?”

"Denise, you're not wearing a bra. You can see everything."

"Well, everything else was hideously ugly in that closet." She complained.

Renee frowned, "But you're the one who picked those outfits out."

Denise clapped her hands together, "Good, then I can get rid of them." She smiled gleefully. Turning back toward the stairs, she made her way up the stairs to fulfill her quest.

Renee stared at her in shock. She looked like Denise, sounded like Denise, but that was not Denise.

Denise went up to her room that night after dinner and wrote in her journal.

Diary,

How come I can remember you, but the events of this morning are still amiss in my head. I don't have amnesia, at least not the long type, you know. Anyway, I have to go to school tomorrow. I hate school. It's dumb and boring and they expect you to actually want to stay during the whole day. Yeah right! Anyway, wish me luck tomorrow, k? That's all for now,

Denise~

December 8, 1998

It wasn't what she wore that caught others attention. It wasn't even the way her hair was drawn back into a tight ponytail (after all, that was as natural as they came), with small gold hoops dangling in her ear that made people stop and stare. It was the smile she gave, the flirtatious, carefree swing of her hips and friendly attitude that caused people to stop and stare. Though this was normal with most girls, it wasn't with her, because of Sherry, everyone knew who Denise Calloway was, so they knew this was out of character with her member.

It was on this day, that Jordan and Andrew were coming from the west end entrance of the student parking lot together, when they spotted her coming down the hall. Immediately the air electrified and both guys were fused with their different perspectives. Jordan eyeing her with curiosity, while Andrew brows furrowed with disgust. He shook his head in disdain for Denise and turned to Jordan. "Let's go. We don't need some..."

"Hey, what's up guys?" Just the sound of her voice made him cringe. Did she actually sound happy or had it been his imagination?

Jordan raised a brow. "Hey, Denise."

Speaking to Andrew, she inquired, "So, how is the semester going for you?"

He looked over at Jordan, who had this blank expression dominating his features. Andrew turned his gaze back to Denise, who stood there grinning, her beautiful teeth white and perfectly straight.

"Good I suppose." His stare was to be read as, Now what do you want?

She nodded, "That's good." Turning to Jordan, she gave a sensuous smile, ”“See you in class."

Jordan nodded, "Yep."

She giggled, shook her head and then turned toward the opposite end of the hallway to walk toward her class. When she was gone, Andrew glanced over at Jordan, "What was that man?"

Jordan shrugged his shoulders in response to the question. Andrew shook his head and together they continued walking toward their first period.

Denise made it to her second class, just as the bell was ringing, before the last trickle of students filed in. She took a seat in the far back, waiting for Lasaire to show up. Lasaire was within the last group to come into class. When she spotted Denise in the back of the room, she went over and sat down next to her. Lasaire and Denise immediately began chatting.

"I can't believe they let you back in school after that incident yesterday," Lasaire whispered, setting her books down.

"I know, me either, but Dr. Wheiser said that it was ok, since I had no bruises or concussions."

"Wait, you mean you fell on the ice and had not one bruise?" Lasaire stared at Denise in shock.

Denise nodded, "Yeah, I mean, the doc said I must have had guardian angels or something."

"Wow." Lasaire was awed. She couldn't believe this. "Turn around, let me see." Denise did so. Lasaire reached up and felt the back of her head. Denise winced in pain.

"Maybe you should get that checked out." Lasaire whispered.

Denise turned to her, "No, it's alright, the pain will go away in a few hours. It always does."

Lasaire's gaze narrowed, "This pain comes and goes?"

"Yeah, every now and again." Denise replied, looking down at her text book.

Lasaire's eyes widened, "What, Denise, you need to see the doctor for that."

Denise shook her head, "No, it only hurts when you touch it. If no one touches it, it's fine."

Lasaire stared, not understanding Denise's rationality of something so important. "Denise, do you realize how stupid that sounds. As long as no one touches it? You need to go to the hospital. What if you have a crack in your skull or something?"

Denise laughed, her brown eyes twinkling, "I don't think I'd be here if I that was the case, Ok? I'm fine. Nothing's wrong."

Lasaire sighed, letting things subside just as the teacher entered the room. Both girls turned their full attention to him.

Vicki hated gym, despised anything that had to do with it. She hated it even more when Mr. Morris made them run. She wasn't on track, she was a cheer leader, so why was she running a half mile? Five laps around this stupid inside track, was enough to kill her. That was it, Mr. Morris was really trying to kill her, slowly. She'd gotten no further than the third lap when she went down, gasping for air, trying her hardest to inhale oxygen not only to her brain, but to various parts of her body. She doubled over, feeling the pain go through her legs, stifling the oxygen there, creating intense pressure. She doubled over, wishing the torture would end. Finally, deciding to just sit down, she dragged herself from the track and over to the bleachers, where the other students, who had an even harder time than she did, completing the laps. As she sank down weak kneed on the bleacher in the first row, she laid her head back, gasping for breath, hoping the spinning would stop.

She was like this for about sixty seconds, when she heard a voice say, "Here, drink this, you'll feel better." Vicki tried hard to move her head to signal disagreement, but couldn't. It felt too heavy. Instead, she felt the person lean down beside her, "Did you eat this morning before coming to school, Vicki?"

Vicki grunted. To signal that she didn't.

"Breakfast is always the most important meal of the day girl. Here, eat this."

Weakly, Vicki raised her hand and felt it as something was dropped into it. Her eyes went to the bar, feeling a rumble in her stomach. A health bar? Who eats these?

"It's a really good healthy food. You'll feel much better if you eat it."

Vicki rolled her eyes, irritated. "I hate healthy food." Her voice came out slurred. She suddenly felt the bar extracted from her hands, the wrapper peeled off and then the food pushed by pieces into her mouth. Doing the only thing she could do, she chewed. After her first bite, water accompanied it. Vicki gulped down the water. Finally, after letting it start moving through her blood stream, Vicki sat up, her head no longer dizzy, the blood evened out in her limbs, and her ability to talk came back. She turned her head to the person who'd given her the food and water. Why? Her gaze inquired. The blonde just gave a small smile and then turned back to watching the others run.

After gym class, Vicki made her way over to the girl. "You didn't have to do that." She stated.

"I know. I wanted to." The girl said. Vicki nodded, "Well, thank you."

Vicki turned around and was about to leave, but the girl stopped her. Vicki glanced over at her. The girl sighed, "Can I talk to you?" She asked? Her big brown eyes pleading.

Vicki sighed, giving a small smile, "ok." She waited for the girl to come to her. Together, they began walking out of the gym, "Your sister told me that you never said anything about what I told you."

Victoria shrugged, ”“If you tell me something, rest assured that it won't get out."

"I know that." Candice stated, a small smile on her face, "it's easier to believe someone when you are in fear of them."

Victoria laughed, "Yeah, tell me about it."

Candice's eyes met hers, "Have you ever been afraid of someone?”

Victoria pulled her bag over her shoulder, "Believe it or not, but I was terrified of this girl named Iesha Bloom berg in middle school. She was worse than Sherry. She was big, ugly and mean. She would push me around all the time. Tell me what to do, always making me look like I was the bad one, especially when the center of attention was on me. She seemed to get worse then, taunting me, challenging what I say and all that stuff."

"Really?" Candice's eyes widened in shock. She'd never thought in a million years that Victoria would be the one person to allow someone else to push her around. "What happened?"

Victoria laughed, "I stood up to her. One day she opened her mouth one too many times and I decided to shut it for her. I popped her in the mouth good that day. After that, she never disrespected me again. "

Candice laughed, "Alright, that's cool."

Vicki sighed, "Yep, I never wanted to be the shy quiet type again after that."

Candice laughed, as they continued their walk down the hall and turned to the left, toward the math wing. "I can imagine. I always wanted to fit in, so I did what it took to do so."

Vicki nodded her head, understanding. "The truth is Candy, we all want to fit in, no one wants to be the geek, the nerd, the out cast."

Candice nodded, and stopped in front of her class. "Well, this is my class."

Vicki smiled cordially, "What class is it?"

"I think it's supposed to be English lit, but we do some of everything in here."

Vicki laughed, "Alright, I have World History. I'll talk to you later."

Candice shifted her weight to her left foot. "Later, Vicki."

Vicki nodded and then walked down the hall toward her class.

 

Chapter Thirty Seven

 

Denise walked into the cafeteria, and stood in the lunch line. This was an hour of solitude for herself. She could think, write, adjust herself and her life in small steps. Sighing, she grabbed a tray from the stack that lined on the small table next to the line and ran it with her in the line. Of two fruit choices, she grabbed a paper bowl of peaches. Just as she was getting her next item, she heard someone behind her. She continued on, minding her own business.

Jordan was nervous. He'd seen her come into the cafeteria, telling himself to stay put, and wanted to do just that, but decided at the last minute, when he saw the two girls coming up to the line, that he would too. He grabbed a bowl of peaches, A slice of Pizza and french fries. He stared at the back of her head, wondering if she was alright, because Lasaire had told him during a break in the halls that she'd been having pain in her head since the accident, that he hadn't even known about. As a matter of fact, he knew that the only person who knew about the accident was Lasaire, whom Denise for unknown reasons had sworn to secrecy. He hoped that she was alright.

Denise got a whiff of his cologne, inhaled and smiled. She wasn't a girly girl, but God, he always managed to smell so good. She swallowed and continued on in line. She handed the lady her lunch money when she exited the line. The lady took it and then Denise went to a vacant table by herself.

Jordan went to his usual table, sat down and began eating. It was maybe five minutes after eating that he got up, went to where Denise was sitting, sat down and interrupted her quiet thoughtful lunch.

"I thought I was supposed to chase you?" She teased.

He sighed, "I heard about the incident on the ice."

Denise rolled her eyes. Maybe telling Lasaire wasn't the best decision she'd made, but then again, most of her decisions were bad now a days.

"Ok." She stated, not sure of what his point was.

"Are you ok?" He inquired, his gaze meeting hers. She cleared her throat, "I'm here aren't I?"

He sighed, "Yeah, well, I also heard that you were having pain in the back of your head."

She laughed at this, "Ok Dr. Williams, is there anything else you need to know?"

Jordan smiled, "I was just concerned for you, that's all. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. Lasaire sounded pretty worried when she approached me this morning."

"I didn't know you and Lasaire had a class together." Denise stated.

"We don't, but she came up to me at my locker, concerned."

"What did she figure you'd be able to do?" Denise quarried, her eyes on his.

He shrugged, "Convince you to go see your doctor."

Denise rolled her eyes, "Look, I'm fine. I'm walking, talking, acting fine."

Jordan didn't say anything, just studied her. After a while, she became uncomfortable, "What?"

He sighed, "Nothing."

Denise, feeling self conscious, smoothed out her blouse and cleared her throat a second time. "So...how are things going between you and Sebrea?"

Jordan smiled, "Pretty good."

Denise noticed the twinkle in his eyes when he said this and felt a grasp of tightness in her throat. She nodded, "That's good." She whispered just to be polite.

He sat there, not knowing whether to get up or stay, feeling somewhat awkward. He looked down at his plate and noticed he hadn't touched any of his food. Picking up a french fry and then looking back up to see her reaction, he took a bite. She grabbed her note book from out of her bag and began writing. After a while, he got curious and asked, "What are you writing in there?"

Without looking up, she answered, "My life."

"Your life?" This inquiry was a puzzling thought.

"Yep." She continued to write. Finding this an irresistible subject, he pursued, "So...what's in there?"

Denise looked up at him and smiled, "I'm not going to tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because it's private."

He raised both brows, "That makes it even more interesting. Is it about me?"

Denise laughed, "Conceited, aren't we?"

"Nope, just honest, so..." He grabbed a couple more fries and popped them into his mouth. "What did you write about me?"

She stared at him, perplexed. How was she supposed to figure out how to go about getting him back if he couldn't seem to let her do just that?

"Aren't you supposed to be mad at me?" She wondered.

He shrugged, "What can I say? I get over grudges rather quickly."

"Does that mean you're going to take me back without my having to beg and plead?"

He wiped his hands on one of the napkins he'd grabbed from the lunch line along with his food, and grasped her face. Pulling it close to his, he looked her in the eyes without responding, just searching her face, for what? She wasn't sure.

"No. That would be too easy for you Denise. You need to exercise that brain of yours because I am not going to take you back unless I know without a doubt that you won't do this again."

"I thought you forgave easily?" She inquired, her tone soft.

"I forgive, not forget. Just because I forgive you doesn't mean I forget the pain. Denise, I love you. Sure the physical attraction is strong between us, but that's not all there is and you know it."

"But high school relationships don't pass beyond that point, you know that."

He laughed, a shrug in his shoulders, "Maybe you're right, they may not, but I don't want to have any regrets ok. I want a relationship with you, until either you or I call it quits."

Denise stared. Taking in what he was saying, not sure how to digest everything.

"Denise, it's like this, you are not going to break up with me again unless you have a real reason to do so. Not because of something someone else told you. You have to have a legitimate reason for us to break up. If there's no real reason, you're going to have a hard time getting rid of me."

"So you're saying that the only way I'd get rid of you would be if you cheated or I cheated, something like that?"

He shook his head, "No. I'm saying unless you really decide you don't want to be with me, absolutely not at all, then you're stuck until we call it quits."

"Oh." Denise stared, unsure of how to accept this statement.

They stared from across the table at one another. She wondering what to do, and he wondering why couldn't he stick to his own promises when it came to her.
Five minutes into their probing contest, the bell rang, signaling the end of their lunch hour.

That weekend, on a Saturday night, Jordan got ready for a date with Sebrea. He decided he'd take her some place nice, but where, he wasn't sure. He decided that he'd pick her up and allow her to choose where the event would take place. An hour after getting ready, he left the house to pick her up.

When he reached her home, in a small place called Camel Back Properties, he felt so out of place. Although he'd been coming to this house for over a month now, he still never felt completely comfortable. Almost like it was out of his element. He'd found out over the past month, that her dad was a monopolizer. He owned many companies internationally. He also owned a bakery in Paris France, which he donated all its profits to the church. Jordan saw Sebrea's father to be truly amazing.

It was like meeting royalty from out of a story book, the way he carried himself, presented himself and the way he raised his children. Her mother, he'd found out was a duchess. He'd found out that a duchess was closely related to the king and Queen. Something like cousins. That explained why her mother was always so poised, beautiful and sociable. He thought of what their response would be after he told her the truth. Because she was really close to them, he knew they would be told.

Sighing as he turned into a parking space, near the front of the yard, he pulled the parking break, because the house was located on top of green lush hills. There was more land than he could see with his natural eye. There was a horse ranch located further back into the property, where they held summer camp for middle school kids. Sighing, he went up to the three story house, which really looked more like a mansion.

The house was two shades of blues. A baby blue and then a darker ocean blue. He liked that because it stood out among other houses in the neighborhood. The house had been built during the early nineteen hundreds, with enough rooms for seventeen guests, five bathrooms and a gigantic living room as well as kitchen. It was interesting because their house was decorated with the furniture it came with. So it was very interesting to see furniture dating back to the nineteen twenties. The only furniture that hadn't come with the house was their bedroom sets and he hadn't seen what Sebrea's looked like and he honestly didn't want to.

When he rang the bell, the doorman, Ramsey answered. "Come in Mr. Williams, Ms. Sebrea is expecting you. I was instructed to have you sit in the draw room until she comes down."

Jordan smiled, "Thanks, Ramsey."

Ramsey stepped aside to allow him in, and then closed the door. He led Jordan to the draw room, which was located off the front of the house. A door adjoining the living room. He stepped inside. Cream colored draperies hung on the windows, while tall book shelves aligned the room. He sat down in a chair that was facing the window, behind an empty mahogany desk. Sighing, he stared around the room in awe. It was bigger than his bed room. The door closed behind the butler as he exited the room.

"Mr. Williams, how nice it is to see you." A voice spoke from somewhere inside the room.

Jordan jumped, glancing around the room.

"Up here, Mr. Williams."

Jordan glanced up toward the sound of the voice. Mr. Alexi was standing on a ladder, pulling a book from its shelf.

"Hello, Mr. Alexi." Jonathan Alexi stared at the young man before him, with a plastered smile. Climbing down the ladder, Mr. Alexi laughed, "Sorry to startle you son, but I assumed that you'd spied me when you were glancing around the room."

Jordan shook his head no. "No, sir."

Jordan stood up as the man walked toward him with which ever book was in his hand. Mr. Alexi nodded, "How are you this evening?" His tone was really formal.

"I'm good, sir." Jordan responded, becoming anxious.

"That's good. How's your mother?"

"She's doing pretty good."

Mr. Alexi was a tall man of about six four, with a very slender build. He wore glasses and had blonde hair that was accompanied with a beard to give him more of a rugged look. He had brown eyes the same shade as his daughter sebrea.

Mr. Alexi came around and sat in his desk, facing Jordan. Jordan stared as he crossed his arms together, bearing strong fore arms.

"Would you like something to drink?" He inquired.

Jordan declined, "No thank you."

Mr. Alexi nodded and said, "I asked Ramsey to escort you here."

"Yes sir." Jordan sat up straight, aligned.

"I wanted to talk to you about Sebrea."

"Ok, sir." For some reason, Jordan dreaded this talk.

"Are you fond of my daughter?" This came out with power behind it.

Jordan inhaled sharply, "Yes sir."

"What are your intentions toward her?" Mr. Alexi inquired. This question was intimidating to him. Almost like Mr. Alexi was hinting at something, but what?

"I think she's a lot of fun, easy to talk to. What do you mean my intentions?" Jordan pressed.

Mr. Alexi cleared his throat. "Have you ever been one to juggle two girls at once Jordan?"

Jordan narrowed his eyes, confused. "No, sir."

"That's interesting, because I know about Denise Calloway. That's her name, right?"

Jordan's eyes went big. How did he know? Jordan hadn't even told Sebrea about Denise.

"What about Denise Calloway, sir?" Jordan managed to make his voice come out strong, hard, even though he was scared.

"I know that you two used to have a relationship, I know that you still are talking to her."

"There's no harm in talking to her, sir." He stated.

"There is when you're both seen leaving your place at two in the morning."

This angered Jordan. Sitting up in his seat, he leaned toward Mr. Alexi. "What do you mean seen leaving my place at two in the morning?"

Mr. Alexi opened a drawer in his desk. He threw some photos on top and then closed it. Jordan glanced at each of the photos. There was one taken of her at the park, one of her walking to his house. There was actually one taken of him opening the window to his bedroom, one of her when she fell through the window and on top of him. Another of him leading her to his car. There was even one taken of the day they'd ate lunch and talked in the cafeteria.

"Is this even legal?" He whispered, starring at the photos.

"It is when you have money." Mr. Alexi stated. Jordan glanced up at Jonathan Alexi, stunned that he'd seen him as a good man. Wow.

"You're not going to try to black mail me for this are you, because if you are, you have to do a lot better than that. There's nothing you have that will even prove to sebrea that anything's going on between Denise and I."

Mr. Alexi smiled deceitfully,
"Is there?"

Jordan shrugged his shoulders, "No."

Mr. Alexi nodded, "That's good, because if there is something going on there, believe me, I will find out."

Jordan rolled his eyes. "Surely you can't expect me to react dumb to these photos? There's nothing even remotely close to the truth in them."

Mr. Alexi swallowed, "Oh really?"

"Yes. Nothing at all."

Mr. Alex stared at him, disbelieving his words. Any time a young man had a second girl around, it always meant something. Usually trouble.

"Jordan." The door opened and Sebrea stepped through. Her hair streaked with a combination of blue and purple highlights. Her brown eyes sparkled as she glanced at him. Jordan smiled back and stood up. Going over to her, he kissed her cheek. "You look nice."

Sebrea nodded, "Thanks. What are you two doing?"

Jordan shrugged, "Just talking."

"I was just showing Jordan some pictures I'd recently taken." Mr. Alexi stated.

"Oh yeah, let me see."

Jordan cleared his throat. "We have to go now, or we'll be late."

Sebrea looked at her watch, distracted. "You're right Jordan. Dad, we'll be back in about three hours or so." Together, they turned around to walk out of the room. Jordan exhaled softly, glad that she didn't see the pictures. He didn't feel like explaining Denise right now.

"Have fun." Mr. Alexi stated. He watched Jordan with interest. He was way smarter than most guys his age. Most guys would've crumbled just by seeing pictures like that. He smiled to himself. Tenacity.

 

Chapter Thirty Eight

Sebrea's choice of Restaurant was called The Boondocks, out in an upper scale location, about thirty miles outside of South Hampton. The Boondocks was a seafood restaurant that catered more than just lobster and shrimp for sky rocketed prices, but also oyster and caviar to go along with it. Caviar was the dip used for which ever fish they chose to eat, so it was set out about five minutes before the meal delivery. As they sat there staring at the menus, Jordan listened as Sebrea talked about a project she was working on in one of her college courses. Although Sebrea was a senior at Brown High School, she was enrolled in two extra courses at the community college in North Hampton. Jordan sighed, figuring out that his order was going to be a Lobster, coleslaw, fried Corn and Pepsi combo.

He sat the menu down and thought about how to explain to her about Denise.

Just then, the waitress brought their food and both ate in silence, their thoughts on different topics. Her's on the events of that day and where her future was headed and his on the issues he was being faced with. Taking a swig of the cocktail juice he ordered, he quenched a parched throat.

He knew he needed to do that before explaining to her the status of their relationship. First though, he waited till they ate their meal before any of that could began. He wanted to see where her heart and mind was. Clearing his throat, he asked, how was her day.

"It was good.” She replied, a twinkle in her eyes. "I found out I got an A on my philosophy paper."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yep, and midterms are going to be given next week, right before Christmas."

He nodded, "That's cool."

"I also applied to Yale."

Jordan raised a brow. "Really?"

"Yeah, I hope I get in you know, because I've always wanted to go there, all the greats go there."

Jordan laughed at this, "That's cool, so, you're going to Yale come next fall?"

"That's my dreams. Dad says I'll get in there, because right now I have a 4.0 GPA." Jordan nodded, showing that he was paying attention.

"Yep. When I get there, I'll only have two more years to go."

"That's cool." Jordan stated. He then inhaled a sharp breath. "So, what do you think about me?"

Sebrea reached out and touched his hand. "I think you're sweet, funny, and handsome and I do enjoy dating you."

Jordan nodded, "Yeah, I think the same things about you, but I must ask, because I want to know..." He released the buildup of tension in a rushed question, "What do you think about our relationship?"

She smiled, her hazel eyes twinkling. "I think it's great. You are a lot of fun."

He nodded, "Thank you, but..." He hesitated, not sure how to propose his question. Her smile lessened a bit and she sat up straight. "But what?"

He exhaled and continued on, "...but I want to know where do you think we're headed?"

The smile dropped from her face, "Why?"

"Because I want to know." He sighed, putting a hand up to his cheek.

"Well...I think you're a nice guy and all that..." She diverted her eyes and signaled for the waitress. Their waitress showed up, pen and pad in hand. "Yes?"

"May I please get a glass of the coconut mambo?" She inquired, in an effort to get her thoughts in order.

"Sure, no problem. I'll be right back." The waitress, a pretty African American girl, walked away from the table.

"As I was saying," Sebrea continued, tracing the pattern of the cotton/Nylon table cloth. "I think you're a nice guy and all, but right now..." Her tone trailed off and she stared at the table, not wanting to hurt him.

"You are not looking for anything serious." Jordan finished for her. She glanced up at him, "Yes, I mean, I want to go to school, get my career off the ground, get everything done before I even consider getting really serious with someone." Her words were beginning to sound rushed, anxious. "You are a very sweet guy, Jordan, a lot of fun, but right now a relationship is the last distraction I need. I mean, this is my senior year and afterward, I plan to go off to Yale, I basically..."

Jordan let out a rush of air, the tension finally leaving, "Good, I was hoping you weren't getting too serious, because I don't want that right now. I have been through a lot with my ex..." The waitress came back, causing their conversation to pause as she set down Sebrea's drink and then they talked some more.

"You had a girlfriend before?" Sebrea interrupted, her thoughts going a mile a minute.

Jordan scratched his head, "Yes. I did, but she broke up with me."

"How long ago?" Sebrea inquired, curiosity over running her.

Jordan cleared his throat, "About three and a half months ago."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

Sebrea smiled. How cute. "Were you in love with her?"

Jordan sighed and stared at Sebrea, knowing by the look in her eyes that she was intrigued by this topic. What girl wouldn't be? He asked himself. Immediately, he recalled the conversation that he and Denise had shared the first time he walked her home.

"Every girl likes romance." He'd stated.

"I'm not every girl." She'd replied, her tone teasing.

He smiled and told her that indeed she wasn't.

Remembering this made him laugh inside. He had no idea of the truth of that statement during that time.

"Jordan?" Sebrea was calling his name. He blinked and sighed, "I'm sorry." Sebrea smiled, "That's alright. What were you thinking about so intently?"

Jordan inhaled, "Denise."

Sebrea leaned forward, her hands on her cheeks, elbows resting on the table. She leaned down and took a sip of her drink. "That's her name? It's pretty."

Jordan sighed, feeling lightly of heart. "Yeah, she's a beautiful girl."

"I take it you were in love with her?" Sebrea inquired, her tone soft.

"Yeah, I was and quite honestly..." He sighed, taking another gulp of the diminishing drink. "I still am."

"What caused you to break up?" Sebrea whispered, her tone full of sympathy.

"Well..." Jordan began.

Denise should have known something was up, when Quinton called her a quarter to six, demanding that he take her out for her birthday. She sat on the couch, the phone cord twirling around her fingers. "What do you mean you're taking me out for my birthday? You're about two weeks late."

Quinton's irritated sigh was on the other end. "Do you always have to do things rationally? So what! It's the freaking thought that counts. I want to take you out, because I missed your party, ok? Is that a horrible thing?"

Denise cleared her throat, "Alright, when do you want to go?"

"Now." He stated.

"Now? You call me to invite me out for my birthday on the day you want to take me out?"

"It's the thought that counts. I've been wanting to ask for a week but, haven't had the time to do so." Quinton stated, reasoning.

"Yeah, ok. Where do you want to go?"

"Well, I figure it has to be some place nice." He stated, so I'm not going to tell you. It's a little cozy spot I found on accident the week before last when I was looking for this kid's house."

Denise sighed, "Oh yeah?"

"Yep, you got to wear something formal though, because it's a really nice place." He stated, a smile in his voice.

"Oh, come on, no jeans and a shirt?"

"It's too upscale for that. You have to dress to impress. At-least look like you make money."

Denise rolled her eyes. "If this place is expensive, why are we going there?"

Quinton nodded his head on the other end. What was wrong with this chick? She always had to find a way to question even the sweetest of ideas. Couldn't she just accept a gift?

"I will pick you up at seven thirty, be ready. Remember, dress to impress."

Denise settled on a deep purple dress that went to her knees, showing off nicely shaped calves. The dress was long sleeved with an opening on the front, that made the sleeves settle against her elbows when she raised her hands. The top part of the dress tightened, showing off the curve of her bussom, but not popping them out of her top. They sat inside comfortably. She wore a pair of sheer pantyhose with a pair of pumps. Her hair had been straightened out for this occasion, flipped out at the ends. She'd tucked her bangs behind her ears, to show off the purple hearts she wore. And, upon Vicki's insistence, borrowed her black cherry lipstick, applied it to her mouth, and then blotted it with tissue to lighten it. Vicki then had gotten the bright idea of applying a gray eye shadow with a purple eye liner at the lid of her eyes.

When Denise met Quinton at the door, he just stared her up and down, this smile on his face, "I told you to look good, not go all out."

Denise laughed, "It was all Vicki's idea."

"Damn, De, she hooked you up. If I was straight, I'd get at you real quick."

Denise laughed again, "Yeah, sure you would."

Quinton touched his chin to his cheek, gently caressing it. "Seriously, damn girl. I knew you had a little something, but not that much."

Denise blushed, embarrassed. "What ever, Quin. I'm going to get my coat. Hold on." When she turned around, Quinton's eyes got big, and he let out a whistle. "We are going to have to keep the fellas off of you tonight."

Denise grabbed her long leather coat from the closet, and pulled it onto her shoulders. When she did, he said, "Alright miss thang, looking all g-qued, let's go."

"Aren't guys supposed to look g-qued?"

Quinton laughed, a twinkle in his eyes, "Yeah. Ok, how about this, looking like you stepped out of the latest issue of Vogue."

Denise blushed again. "That's too much."

Quinton cleared his throat. "No, they want skinny girls with no meat. Shoot, I just might start a mag for healthy girls, called just that. I can see it now, Healthy girls. The right stuff, is what my catch phrase would be: Healthy girls, the right stuff."

Denise laughed, "Ok, Quinton, the entrepreneur"

Quinton sighed, "Alright De, we gotta go, or we'll be late and one thing I don't like to be is late."

Denise sighed, "Let's go. By the way, where are we going?"

He smirked, "Like I'd tell you that. You'll see when we get there."

When they pulled up into the parking lot to the place he chose, the place was full. Even now, there was a couple heading up to the entrance of the restaurant, which was made to resemble the Chinese building structure. She sighed in awe. It was already beautiful with a green awning. The building itself was white. There was a small bridge linking the sidewalk to the door. Underneath the bridge was a small pond area, with leap pads floating inside. Rocks were settled underneath. Closer to the restaurant was a few hedges that looked as if they'd been pruned to tailor the building. Denise opened her car door and stepped out onto the pavement. Closing the door, she shook her head impressed. "Wow, this is beautiful." She stared at the lights that lit the pathway to the bridge and the overhead lights for the building.

"What is this place?"

"The boondocks. I'd never even heard of it, till I ended up on this road, through a wrong turn. I thought you'd like it considering it's foreign."

Denise swallowed, "Yeah." She put her hands into her pockets and began walking toward the entrance.

Jordan cleared his throat and looked at Sebrea, with a smile on his face, "I'm going to go to the restroom, I'll be back."

She nodded. Jordan got up from the table, and walked toward the front of the restaurant, where the restroom nearest his table was and sighed, he couldn't believe how well things were going with Sebrea. She'd agreed that they could continue to date, since there was no harm in it. They could see each others as friends, considering they were quite fond of each other's company and found out that it offered both of them a chance to vent their frustration. He laughed to himself at this, his deep voice a rumble. He couldn't believe he'd been so scared to tell her, scared that she'd fly off the handle, when it had been obvious from the beginning, that she was way too much into school to pursue any type of relationship. Their relationship was one of friendly companionship. This made him feel more at ease about the situation, knowing that she had her eyes on a higher prize. He sighed, he hated having to go past the entrance to get to the restroom, it was really irritating.

Quinton grabbed the door for Denise and held it open. She slipped through. Together, they laughed and talked. He said, "Take off your coat girl and show off the body in that dress."

Denise blushed again, "I don't know."

Quinton put a hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. Undoing the belt on her coat, he said, "You should, it's really a beautiful dress." Denise tried to turn out of his reach. Immediately, he pulled the opposite way, causing the coat to slide on off her shoulders. "Quinton." She whispered, her tone harsh. The coat came all the way off as he pulled it the rest of the way off. Denise glared at him with angry eyes. He just smiled sheepishly, his eyes twinkling, "You'll thank me later."

"No I won't!" She whispered. There was about two more couples in front of them.

"Looks like you'll be thanking me a lot sooner than later." Quinton laughed.

"What are you talking about?" Denise turned around and just as she did, she spotted him walking toward them. She stared. Why was he so handsome? How did he manage to make everything he wore look good? She couldn't figure out if it was in his walk, the hair, the eyes or the body. She didn't know, but she felt her own body heat up at just watching him.

Jordan felt something hot course through his veins. First it was lust, because he wanted her at that moment. But then that intensified when she turned around and he saw her mouth. He wanted to go over and plant a nice long kiss on those full lips. It was like he caught on fire with just a glance, but as his eyes traveled the length of her body, he fought the urge to lick his lips. He didn't even know they had dresses that could flatter every single curve on a girl. His eyes lingered on her legs, the beautiful shape of each one. His eyes traveled all the way down to her pump clad feet, even finding those sexy. The sides laced up, stopping at her shins. His eyes traveled back upward, enjoying the view as he took in the way the dress seemed to join to her hips. When he got to her chest, he stared, knowing it was rude, but not being able to help it. Her breasts rested inside the gown, perching themselves, but not too much to where they were coming out of her top, but just enough to where he was brought back to the memory of his tongue sliding over them. He felt the flush that became present in his cheeks.

She stood there frozen, unable to speak or think for the moment. She watched as his gaze went down her body and then back up, stopping at her breasts for a while and then to her face, where their eyes met. They stared at one another for a long while, each frozen in their own time.

Jordan was flustered. He didn't know what to do, nor say, anything of that nature. He stood where he was, not moving.

Quinton stepped forward, where Denise was and leaned over to her ear. "Well, look it here. He looks like he wants to get it and get it real good."

Denise laughed nervously and pushed Quinton away from her, "Shut up." He leaned over next to her ear and looking directly at Jordan, he whispered, "You can't tell me that you don't want that boy. It's written all over your face and on your body."

Denise's skin warmed up once more.

Jordan felt anger boil over inside him. Why was he here? How could he hang out with her so much if he was gay? This was a stupid reason to be angry, but he was. Sighing, Jordan decided to find out for sure if there was anything between the two. He walked up to them, never taking his eyes off of her. Swallowing, he stopped in front of them. Looking up at Quinton, he said, "Hey Quinton."

Quinton raised a brow, and then shrugged off of Denise's shoulder, "Hey."

"How's it going?"

Quinton could feel the rage emanating from Jordan. "Pretty good," He cleared his throat, "How's it going with you"

"Alright, Sebrea and I came here for a quiet dinner." Jordan stated calmly.

"That's cool, I was just bringing Denise here for a late birthday present, since I missed her party and all."

"You missed her birthday?" What kind of boyfriend would miss the girl he's with party? For some reason, this brought back the image of her in his bedroom, the tears she'd cried and how she'd told him she loved him and wanted to be with him. He couldn't help but feel hurt, looking at her and Quinton together. Clearing his throat, he looked into Quinton's eyes, "I thought you were gay?"

Quinton froze up at the shimmering pools of tears in Jordan's eyes. He'd never thought any guy would cry, let alone him, but to see the pain in his eyes over a misunderstanding, really was heart wrenching. Quietly, he whispered, "Jordan, I..."

"Jordan, honey, I thought..." Sebrea stopped in mid sentence, staring at the interaction between the two guys, and then her gaze went to Denise. That's when it all clicked into place. The mall. He'd been really forceful that day, deliberately rude, which had struck her as odd, because he was never that way. Sebrea cleared her throat. Walking up to Denise, she said, "You're the Denise he was telling me about, aren't you?"

 

Chapter Thirty Nine

Denise stared at Sebrea, perturbed. He talked about her? He'd talked about her to his present girlfriend? The confusion must have been noticed then, because Sebrea smiled and said, "Don't worry, it's been good things, so you're alright."

Denise didn't ever recall hearing the french accent in her voice as she did now. "What part of France are you from?"

Sebrea said something in french and then translated it into English, "How did you know I'm french? Most people don't. Provence."

Denise sighed, "I love history."

"Then you are the Denise he's talking about."

Denise's eye lids narrowed. "What are you talking about?"

Sebrea sighed, "Jordan and I had a talk over dinner, and it was mostly about you and us."

Denise put a hand to her hip. "Why were you two talking about me? Aren't you his girlfriend?"

Sebrea shook her head no.

"You're not?" Denise began to feel regret overcome her.

"No. We were just dating."

"So, it's nothing serious?" She inquired, putting a hand up to her head. She remembered all the evil thoughts she'd conjured up.

"No, I have to get into Yale, and that's all the way in Boston. How will I be able to have a relationship and study for a Juris doctorate in law?"

Denise exhaled softly. Sebrea noticed the tension that eased in her shoulders. Going over to Jordan, she grabbed his hand and pulled him away from Quin.

Redirecting his steps, she said, "Shouldn't she be the one you're questioning?" She came to a halt in front of Denise.

Jordan stood there, clenching his jaw, refusing to look her in the eyes. Denise saw this and put a hand on her hip, staring up into his face, "What are you mad at me for now?"

His jaw clenched with no response. Denise let out a loud huff. "Well, are you going to tell me, or am I just going to have to stand here and wait?"

The couple who had been in front of them had long since been seated, and now another couple who'd come in after them were being seated.

"Excuse me?" The greeter interrupted, "Are you all going to be seated?"

Sebrea, being the only one who could talk at this moment, turned to the greeter, "No sir, we're all leaving." Turning back to the three, she said, "Let's get out of here." She ushered them all out of the door. Quinn was staring at Jordan and Denise perplexed at this evening, while Sebrea looked completely annoyed. Stepping back to Sebrea, he whispered, "They are crazy, huh?"

She nodded. "What is he angry about?"

"He thinks I'm her boyfriend." Quinn whispered.

"Well are you?" Sebrea frowned. She'd never thought to ask that question before, now she felt a little embarrassed.

"No. We're just good friends. I have a boyfriend."

Sebrea lifted a brow. "Interesting." She dragged the word out long without really meaning to.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Quinton inquired, throwing his neck into every word he spoke. This struck Sebrea as funny. Laughing, she said, "Oh my God, you're actually gay, for real." She continued to laugh. Quinton came to a stop. Putting a hand to his hip, he stared at her with dark brown eyes, his hand flailing in the air. "Whatever, girl, don't hate." Now he was putting on a show.

"Ok, stop it." Sebrea doubled over in laughter. Quinton laughed as well, " Cedric Quinton, but everyone usually calls me Quinton, because they think that's my first name."

Sebrea smiled, holding out a hand, "Sebrea Alexi."

"Nice to meet you Sebrea." He stated, starring into the depths of hazel brown eyes.

They both shook hands and then focused their attention on Jordan and Denise, who seemed to have gotten even deeper in their silence with one another. Sighing, Sebrea went up behind Jordan, while Quinton took Denise's side. He draped an arm across her shoulder. The stiff in Jordan's stance was clearly visible. Quinton pulled her closer to him, while starring at Jordan. Jordan looked at Quinton, the rage evident in his eyes. Quinton shook his head in amusement and laughed. How could he be jealous when there was no competition? He turned his gaze on Denise, "I'm sorry you didn't get your birthday present."

Denise laughed, "It's cool. I told you to forget about it anyway."

"You're about two weeks to late, ass hole." Jordan stated through clenched teeth. He wanted to knock the smugness out of Quinton's gaze.

Quinton turned his eyes back to him, "Shut up, you're just mad cause she's not with you."

Although it was dark, the faint blush in his cheeks was noticeable. "Whatever." He whispered, his tone fierce. His green eyes turned stormy.

"That's right, whatever. You're so full of yourself, that you can't even see the truth."

This caused Denise to stop and glare up at Quinton. "Don't talk to him like that." She stated, her tone firm.

Quinton laughed and grabbed her hand, "I'm sorry, sugar, but it's the truth. He's just like you, stubborn, dumb and in denial. He knows he loves you and he wants you back, but he wants to play games, games that don't even work, because I have yet to see you go after him the way he wants you too, but he's all up on you like he cares one minute, and then the next he's running like a little pussy."

Denise stared up at Quinton in shock, angered. He'd never been so rude before. Almost like he was deliberately trying to get a reaction from Jordan. Just as this thought passed her mind, she saw swift movement, and then Quinton was on the ground, grabbing his cheek.

"Don't talk about me like that. You don't know how I feel, or what I go through!" He yelled.

Denise swiveled around, starring at Jordan in shock. What was going on here? He glared at her, "And you...you have some nerve..." He growled out his frustration and then turned to walk away. Denise stood there stunned, confused and wondering what she had done for him to be so angry with her. She walked up to him and yelled, "What the hell is your problem?"

"It doesn't matter Denise." He stated, walking toward his vehicle.

"Yes it does, because you're being ridiculous. One minute you tell me you love me but don't want to be with me because you're seeing someone. The next you offer me a chance to get back with you, but tell me that I have to figure out what it is you want, but then you punch Quinton out and what for? I don't know."

He pulled his keys out of his pocket. "Why do you always have to be so oblivious to everything? Why do you always have to pretend like you don't know what's going on?"

Denise shook her head furiously as they reached his car. "I seriously don't have any idea what's going on with you." She stated, her tone a bit softer. He inhaled and then exhaled, "Aren't you going with Quinton?"

Denise looked back into the parking lot, Quinton's car was pulling out of the drive way, to make a right. Sebrea was no where to be seen. Glancing back at Jordan, she said, "You know, your date just left with Quinton."

Jordan stopped and sat the keys on the roof of the car. Glaring at her, he whispered, "Don't you mean your boyfriend?" His tone was thick with sarcasm.

Denise raised both brows. "I don't have a boyfriend Jordan. Quinton's not my boyfriend."

Jordan cleared his throat. "So why is it that you two are always together? You're always acting like you're a couple."

Denise smiled cheekily. He was jealous, very cute. Strangely enough, it turned her on. "We're just really good friends, Jordan."

Jordan licked his lips. "Then why are you dressed up like that?"

Denise put a hand on her hip. "Because he said to wear something formal, and this was the only thing Vicki had that she didn't mind me borrowing."

Jordan sighed, calmed. "Oh." He stared at her, his eyes becoming tender. "I'm sorry." Denise sighed and went over to him. Grabbing his face, pulling it around to her, she ran her hand along his cheek. "Jordan, you don't have to worry about any guy stealing what's yours, ok?"

His eyes watered up and he inhaled sharply, swiping at the tears. "Are you sure about that?"

She smiled, despite the raw emotion she felt. Her knees weakened, heart pounded and her throat tightened, "Yes, I love you and no one else. It's impossible to be in love with two people at once." The tears that were shimmering in her eyes, began to fall. She swiped at them. "My heart's already taken, you know?"

He whispered, "oh yeah?"

Denise gasped, her throat aching hard, "Yes."

He closed his eyes and whispered her name. She stepped into his arms and wrapped him in a tight hug. He pulled her to him and returned her hug. She swallowed and closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of his arms. He felt every curve of her body mold itself to his, and this he enjoyed. It felt right, perfect.

 

 

Chapter Forty: Movies and stuff.

 

That morning, Denise woke up, not sure if last night had been real, or if it had been a dream that had started out as a nightmare and ended up great. She couldn't be too sure. It all seemed so real, the whole evening. Just then, her phone rang. It rang about two times, before she picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"So, did you two get things worked out?"

She sighed, falling back into her bed. It hadn't been a dream.

"Well, we talked about a lot of stuff."

Quinton rolled his eyes, "No, you better had done more than talk, because I have a bruise on my cheek from where he hit me. I didn't take a punch for you to just say that you guys talked."

"Geez, Quinn, nobody told you to be so rude anyway."

"I had to do something to get you guys to talk out your problems." His tone was irritated.

"Well, you could have just told him that you weren't my boyfriend."

"Something told me he would've hit me and accused me of lying. I didn't know he had that hard of a hit. Damn, you better hope this bruise go down before Matt and I go meet his sister for lunch, because if it doesn't, you're going to get me into a lot of trouble. I'm not down for that."

"Ok, I'll ask my sis to borrow her blush or something."

Quinton laughed, "Alright, I'll meet you around eleven thirty. I'll be there."

Denise sighed, "I'm sorry he punched you."

Quinton laughed, "Yeah, it's cool, just don't ask me to ever do that again, or I will kill you."

"I didn't ask you to do anything." Denise replied, defensive.

"If I recall, a few weeks ago, at the mall, you said that you needed my help to make him jealous so that he'd come back to you. Well, I did that, now don't ask me for any more favors. You just better get this one right."

Denise laughed, "Alright, I'm sorry."

"Ha, ha, ha! I have to go. Matt's home. I'll talk to you later."

"Yep." Denise confirmed. She hung up her end of the phone. Getting up, she stretched out and got ready for her Sunday.

Jordan waited for his mother to leave the house, before he invited Denise over. He knew it was wrong, because ironically enough, his mother didn't allow anyone over to the house without her permission, but he wanted to spend some time with Denise. It had been a long time since they'd hung out together and just chilled. He picked up the phone, his heart beating erratically and dialed her number. With each ring, the beating became faster.

"Hello?" A chippery voice answered. He smiled, recognizing the voice as Victoria's her sister.

"Hey, Vicki. Denise there?" He inquired.

Vicki paused for a second, and then he could hear the smile in her voice, "Is this Jordan?"

"Yeah." He stated.

"It's about damn time, I was going to kill that girl if she didn't respond any sooner." She stated.

Jordan laughed, "Well, I can understand that. Is she there?"

"Yep. Hold on..." There was shuffling, and then a clank as she sat the phone down. He heard her yell Denise's name, and then a minute or two later, Denise's voice was heard over the phone.

"Hello?"

Jordan inhaled sharply and then exhaled. "You want to come over and watch a movie?"

"Right now?"

Jordan smiled, "Yes, right now."

"Isn't your mom at church?”

"What she doesn't know won't hurt her." He teased.

From the other end of the phone, she asked, "What are you going to give me for coming over?"

The change in her voice, sent his body into heat mode. He licked his lips. "I'm sure I can think of something."

She snickered, "You're gross."

He blushed a deep red. "Ok, you're not supposed to say that."

She just laughed some more and said, "I'll be over in fifteen. Ok?"

"Alright." He chuckled. Sighing, he waited till she hung up her end and then hung up his.

Jordan jumped in surprise, when he heard the doorbell ring. Getting up, he went to answer it. She was leaning against the door, smiling at him. "Good morning."

He smiled, "Good morning."

"So, what's on the agenda today?" She inquired as he stepped aside to allow her entrance. He said, I got a couple of movies, which I'm sure you will enjoy."

She said, "Ok. Let's check them out." They went to the living room, where he had sat the movies down. Picking them up and settling down on the couch, she glanced at the first one, a laugh coming from her. "Oh my God, Jordan!" He smiled. "We were talking about it when we first met, so I figure we should watch it."

Denise giggled. "Oh, man, you are too sweet." She glanced at the second movie.

" Cruel Intentions?" Denise laughed, "Oh, my, you went all the way out, didn't you?"

He laughed, "I have a great memory. Check out the third one."

She stared bug eyed, this one was a new release. "Wow, Set it off?"

"Yep. I got it. It's even got that video by Brandy and Tamia on it."

"Chaka Khan and Gladys night."

"Yeah, well, I didn't know the other singers." Jordan stated.

Denise laughed. Grabbing him in a hug around the neck, she laughed, "Wow, this is like the perfect movie day." He hugged her back, planting a kiss on her forehead. "I want it to be. Mom's going to be gone all day and I don't want to be here alone."

Denise smiled at him, "And you called me to spend it with you."

He ran a finger over her bottom lip. "You are my girl, right?"

She pulled her bottom lip into her mouth, thinking. He whispered, "Don't do that, De-De."

She released her bottom lip. He whispered, ”“Need some attention do they?"

Denise stopped him when his mouth leaned close to hers. "What about the movies?"

"We have all day for those, they're not going anywhere."

She relaxed as his mouth came down on hers. When his lips touched hers, the electrical waves were even more powerful than they had been when they first kissed. She stopped him again. Looking into his eyes, she whispered, "You planned this didn't you?"

He laughed softly, "You're too cute." Without answering, his mouth took hers again. She kissed him back.

 

 

one month and a half later:

February, 1999

For a month, everything between Jordan and Denise went fine, but then things started to get heavy between the two. Again, Denise was in over her head, and Jordan was left with an increasing ache in his pants. He promised himself to not rush her and that he'd wait until she was ready, but he didn't know when that would happen, because it seemed like she was starting to revert back to her old self. She began to close him off. So, it was a few days before his seventeenth birthday, and he wanted to make sure that everything was ok between them, but found it hard to do, when she just backed away from him. Why? What had he done now? Was she going to break up with him again? This frustrated him to no avail, seeing a problem and not being able to fix it.

Denise fought her own battle. She had spent a total of three and a half months without him and was sure she didn't want to do that again, but what disturbed her even more was the increasing sexual frustration they both seemed to be going through. Ironically enough, she wanted him, bad, but didn't know how to express her want. It made her shrink back in fear because she loved him, wanted to be with him, but didn't know if she would be accepted because of what happened last time. She groaned out of frustration.

Jordan made it to fifth hour, just as the bell was ringing. Somehow he'd gotten stuck in a psychology class and he wasn't feeling it. He took his book out and sat it on his desk, right behind hers. He sat down and looked straight ahead.

It was but a second later, she turned around and looked him in the eyes. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

"For what?" He wanted to know?

"I'm going to the parking lot, meet me out there, k?"

Jordan sighed, "Alright."

Denise raised her hand.

"Yes?" Mrs. Yield questioned.

"May I be excused?"

"What for?"

Denise sighed, annoyed, "Personal reasons."

"Such as..."

Why did Mrs. Yield have to pry all the time.

"I got my period." Denise stated loudly. A few of the girls snickered, while the guys groaned in disgust.

"Alright, you get a ten minute pass. if you're not back by then, the result is a detention."

Denise sighed, "Alright." She stood up and waited for Mrs. Yield to write her a pass. She walked out of the classroom and down the hall. Once she got down the stairs, she walked out of the back exit and into the school parking lot. Pulling her jacket around her shoulders, she waited five more minutes until she saw Jordan finally exiting the building with both their bags in his hand. Handing her, hers, he said, "You left this."

"I was planning to go back to class." She whispered.

"What do you know, you'll be getting your first detention." He opened the car door and threw both their bags in the back. Sighing, he unlocked her door and waited for her to climb in. Denise opened her own door and got inside. Shutting the door, she looked down at her hands.

"What's wrong, Denise?" He inquired.

"Nothing." She answered.

"You remember what I told you a couple of months ago in the cafeteria?"

Rolling her eyes, Denise glanced up at him. "Dang Jordan, is there anything you don't remember?"

He smiled, "It's my curse."

"I can believe that. I remember what you said when we were in the cafeteria, ok? I'm not trying to break up with you, not at all."

"If not, then why have you been distancing yourself from me?" He pondered out loud.

"I'm not trying to, ok. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with me." She whispered, intertwining her fingers.

He grabbed her chin and tilted it upward, so that her eyes met his. "Look at me when you speak Denise, please. Now, what's the problem?"

Denise licked dry lips and had a moment of silence before answering, "I can't figure it out."

"Figure out what?"

Denise sighed, "Five months ago, I was too scared to do anything but kiss you. Now it's different, and I don't know why."

Jordan felt the butterflies build in his stomach. Inhaling sharply, he said, "Well, maybe you're ready now."

Denise giggled. She didn't know why, the sound just came out. He shook his head, "You giggle when you're nervous."

Denise shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry, I can't help it."

Jordan grasped her hand in his, and then he brought it up to his mouth and kissed it. This action calmed her nerves some, but not all the way.

He asked, "Are you coming to my party Friday night?"

Denise smiled, "Of course, I'm supposed to come, right?"

Jordan nodded with a smile, "You better."

"Who are you inviting?" She inquired.

"You, Tanya, Drew, Lasaire, an old friend of mine named Charles Anthony..."

"Who?"

Jordan rubbed his fingers into her palm, "He just came back from Minnesota."

"oh yeah?”

"yep."

"Ok."

"Chuck, that's what we call him. He moved away from Hampton when we were in third grade, now he's come back. I want to welcome him home, so I am inviting him to the party."

Denise nodded, "Interesting."

"Yep, you'll like him. He's pretty cool."

Denise sighed, "That's cool."

Jordan pulled out his keys, and turned the ignition. They listened as heat began to blow through the vents.

"Where are we going?" Denise questioned.

"To get something to eat."

"mm, good, because I'm hungry."

Jordan shifted the gear into drive and off they went, out of the school parking lot to the nearest restaurant.

Three days later:

Denise stared at herself in the mirror. She stared at a full figure. She was dressed in red and white under garments. The bra was a lacy cup with red hearts designed on the straps and around the lacy front. The bra cup itself was red and white striped with red laced hearts on the edges. Her panties were red and white striped as well, with red laced hearts around the waist band and inner thigh area. She stood in front of her door length mirror, tracing certain areas of her body with the lilac perfume. Sighing, she clothed herself in the dress she'd bought for valentine's day. Jordan's birthday was two days away from valentine's day, and she thought his party would be the best time to dress up. She also knew that all the kids there would be wearing pants and t-shirts, but she wanted to stick out. For his sake anyway. Sighing, she slid the dress over her body and stared. Ok, maybe she'd gotten the wrong dress or something, because this dress was see through. It showed off the curve of her body very well, including accentuating on the bra and panty set. Plus, she'd thought it came to the knees. It had on the manikin. On her, it came at a stop halfway down her thighs.

Starring in awe, she smiled to herself. Her mother was right. She did have beautiful curves. She stood there for quite a while, till the clock on her dresser went off and she saw that he would arrive any minute. Just then, the doorbell rang, and she groaned. She pulled the dress off, grabbed the closest thing she could in the closet and pulled it over her head, along with a pair of black slacks. Grabbing her jacket, she grabbed socks, a pair of shoes, slid the shoes on and with socks in hand, ran out the door.

 

 

 

Chapter Forty One: Birthday Present.

 

Jordan waited for her to get in

the car before he leaned over to kiss her on the lips. When he did, he stopped, his eyes drawn to her top. Clearing his throat, he said, "That's an interesting shirt Denise."

She looked down at the shirt. It was a green t-shirt that read welcome to YAAL. Denise giggled at having grabbed the first thing she could. "I'm sorry baby, but I really didn't have enough time to get ready. I just threw on the first thing I saw."

Jordan smiled, "Really? How long did you wait to get dressed?"

"I got started around four thirty."

"Denise, it's seven o'clock. Three and a half hours is plenty of time to get dressed."

She sighed, "Not for me."

"I've never seen you take more than thirty minutes to get dressed." He stated matter of factually.

"Tonight is special." Her gaze found his, suggesting.

"Really?" This seemed to perk him up.

"Of course, it's your birthday and I wanted to look and smell my best."

Jordan tsked, "I thought it was something else."

"I just want to smell good for you."

"You always smell good."

She laughed, "I try."

He squeezed her thigh, "You do a good job."

She gave a small smile, feeling a bit uncomfortable. The way her body seemed to gather heat so quickly, caused a tension in the area he touched. She sighed when his hand relaxed on her leg. She was trying not to imagine his hand going further up her leg, but it was hard. She instead turned her attention to the road.

Sighing, Jordan made a left at the next light and turned down the ramp that led to the freeway. They were halfway to the Alley, a hotel rental for parties and everything. The mandatory age for a rental was eighteen, and since Andrew, Tanya and Denise had all thrown their money together so that they'd be able to rent a room for the party.

They'd decked it out in his favorite colors, with a little valentine's day spin. Denise looked at him, "Mind if I cut on some music?"

He nodded, "Go ahead."

She twisted the dial and the radio came on. A song by R. Kelly was beginning to start. Denise left the station there. She looked out of the window as he sang about a what happens when a woman's fed up. Ironically enough, this was the name of the song.

She smiled to herself.

"What's so funny?" He questioned.

Denise glanced at him, "Nothing, just thinking that this song has the same title as the lyrics in it. It's just irony."

Jordan nodded, "I don't see how you can listen to him. The only thing he ever talks about is sex."

"Good Sex.."

Jordan heard the suggestion in her tone. He sighed and knew without a doubt that sex with her would be more than good, it would be fantastic.

Jordan stopped at the exit they were going to get off at about three miles past Tanya's house. The hotel they pulled into was outside a small town, about one stop from Richmond, in a small town called Alley way. The town was about two blocks long, a few houses scattered here and there, and then the local hotel. The whole place was very interesting, because Andrew was the one who had known about the hotel, because when he was younger his father had had a high-school reunion there. Sighing, They got out of the vehicle and walked up to the entrance hand in hand.

When they entered the party hall, where his party was to be held and pulled open the doors, everyone stood there in the center of the room yelling happy birthday to him. Jordan's face turned a cherry red, causing Denise to bend forward and place a kiss on his cheek. His hand flexed in hers a minute and then he pulled it out, just so he could greet all of the attenders.

"Hey, Jordan." Jordan smiled at Rich Collins, and gave him a hand shake, "What's good?" he inquired.

Rich laughed, "Happy Birthday. How old are you now? Thirty?"

Jordan laughed, "Thirty's a little old for high school."

“I guess that means your way over due for your graduation date.”

Together both guys laughed, Jordan's and Rich's hands clasping in a shake.

Denise shrank back into the crowd, a smile on her face. She wanted him to enjoy himself. Tonight, was his night.

Later that evening, as the party lifted off the ground and more guests continued to arrive, Denise sighed and went to filling the punch bowls once again for everyone. She'd been around the floor picking up paper cups, plates and utensils, while everyone else chilled out and enjoyed the music and everything else. She was thinking ahead, to when they'd have to clean up the room before they left the hotel and she didn't want to be stuck here late at night cleaning.

"You know...this is supposed to be a party." A voice stated, softly.

Denise sighed, "Yep."

"And you're supposed to be out there enjoying yourself."

Denise shrugged, making sure not to spill a drop of punch onto the serving table. Finally, when all the cups were full, she sat the container back up. Inhaling sharply, she put the cap back on.

"Thank you, Darling."

Denise looked over at the guy who spoke. He had straw colored blonde hair, nice clear blue eyes and a full face. He looked too old to be in high school. Denise raised a brow, eyeing his figure. Broad shouldered, muscular build and a smile that could kill. There was something familiar about him. Almost like she'd seen him before, but couldn't quite place him.

He held out a hand, "I'm Charles Anthony. Chuck to everyone around here."

Denise nodded, "oh, nice to meet you chuck. I'm Denise..."

"I know who you are." He cut her off. "You're Jordan's girl, right?"

"Yeah." She sighed, starring at him, swearing she knew him, but couldn't figure out how.

"Jordan and I used to be friends back in..."

"Oh yeah," Denise stated, "He told me about you."

Chuck actually grinned, displaying perfect dimples. "Did he? What did he say?"

"Ah, leave it to you to find something that doesn't belong to you." A teasing voice stated in a sing song demeanor.

"I say let him have her." Andrew spit out as Jordan and Chuck embraced. Denise scowled at him. He narrowed his eyes back at her.

"Hey, what's been going on?" Chuck laughed, pulling away from his friend.

"Nothing new I suppose."

Chuck laughed, looking at Denise, he said, "When I left, you were scared of girls, now you got one and a hot one at that." His eyes met Denise's. Denise felt a blush creep up. Turning away, she continued to put the unused quarter gallon of punch back into the fridge. Unbeknownst to her, this gave both Chuck and Jordan who were watching a nice peak at the red and white laced underwear she was wearing. Chuck's eye brows lifted, his eyes darkening in lust. Jordan just ran his tongue over his mouth.

Denise straightened up and shut the fridge. Turning back around, she smiled uneasily at both guys. "What?"

Andrew rolled his eyes, narrowed them at Denise and then left. He didn't want to throw up the wine cooler he'd just drank.

Denise sighed and cleared her throat, "Ok, what's next?"

When the party was beginning to wrap up, and everyone began to leave, Denise, Tanya and Andrew started picking up the trash left behind. Denise was in the kitchen, since she'd been in there the whole night, while Tanya and Andrew were picking up party left overs in the room. Denise was drying off the punch bowl, when the door creaked open. Turning around, she looked over and saw Chuck leaning in the doorway. He had a drink in his hand, his blue eyes sparkling. Why did they look so familiar?

She stared, feeling awkward. When he grinned at her again, she turned around and went back to the dishes. Just then, Jordan's voice was heard from somewhere in the other room, "Chuck, you ready to go man?"

Chuck allowed his gaze to linger over Denise for a minute and then moved away from the doorway. Denise exhaled sharply and went back to the task at hand.

Sometime a little after eleven thirty, they finished cleaning up the hotel hall and left the area. Jordan sighed, "Do you want to get something to eat?"

"No, I'm not hungry."

Jordan sighed, "ok. What do you want to do?"

Denise shrugged her shoulders. "You want to watch a movie?"

"Don't you have to be home by midnight?"

Denise shook her head no. "Mom said I can spend the night at Tanya's."

"And...does she know you are sneaking away from her to be with me?" He smiled sardonically.

Denise unable to resist, began running her hand along his left arm. "She knows."

"The theaters are closed, the drive in too."

Denise ran her hand over the front of his chest. "I know."

Jordan's eyes widened as her fingers spread themselves over his chest, capturing a nipple in between the thumb and forefinger. "What are you planning?" He stated, his tone low. Denise felt shivers go past her ears, to her neck and then to her chest.

He stared at her, not really saying anything. She gave a coy smile, and in a sexy tone whispered, "Let's go back to your place."

He raised a brow. "My place?"

Denise leaned over, and placed a kiss on his ear lobe. His eyes closed for a second and then reopened as he felt her warm breath in his ear. This too sent chills down his spine.

He turned his head and quickly, she covered her mouth with his. His eyes closed, heart beat erratic, becoming aroused by her touch. He kissed her mouth and whispered, "De-De, what about Lasaire?"

"What about her?" He could see the lust in her eyes. He wondered how long had she been waiting for him? He made a right at the light, turning off the exit ramp into the small town they lived in.

A few lights later, he heard the faintest whisper of his name.

"Jordan." The way she spoke his name, told him she wasn't about to ask a question. He turned his head to her. She had her shirt lifted up to his view. He stared in awe at the full breasts covered by the material she wore. This made his pants tighten even more. He looked from her to the road and then back at her. She was so beautiful. Clearing his throat, he made a left at her block, and continued on, till they reached his block, where they turned to the last house on the street.

Denise got out of the car and grabbed her bag. He made sure the doors were locked and then went through the garage to the door off the kitchen. When they entered the house, it was pitch black. Jordan oblivious, ignored the note on the table, and continued upstairs, dragging Denise behind him. When they got to his room, he pulled her shirt over her head and then went to her pants, stripping them down. "Wait."

She whispered. He froze where he was. This caused her to giggle. She took a step away from him. He inhaled sharply, when he stood up and took in her full figure. She said, "I want you to take your time. Don't be so rushed Jordan."

He let out a loud sigh of frustration, but swallowed just watching her.

She grabbed the ribbon she'd tied around her hair earlier and pulled. The strands fell in her face. He reached out and touched her hair. The curls were soft and springy. His eyes went to hers and he recognized the passion in them.

She whispered, "Jordan, I wanted to make this night special for you. Ok?"

His eyes softened as he heard the sweetness in her voice. His heart felt as if it had been lit on fire. She stepped toward him, her sway aligned with the movements she took. Reaching up to him, she whispered, "I want you to remember this. Ok?"

He leaned in and kissed her mouth. She kissed him back. It took all his might not to hasten himself. When she broke the kiss, she stared into his eyes, hers communicating her love for him and whispered, "I love you, Jordan."

He whispered, "I love you to, Denise."

She whispered, "Be gentle."

He cleared his throat and felt the trembling in her hands as they fell around his neck. She was scared. He didn't want that. He wanted her to feel comfortable. Picking her up, he carried her to his bed, where her body fell into the soft sheets with ease.

 

 

 

Chapter Forty Two: First time

 

 

Jordan didn't want to tell her this, but he was nervous too. She didn't know that on the inside he was trembling like a child. All he could think about while removing his own clothing, was whether or not he would measure up. He didn't know if she was a virgin, because he'd never thought to ask, but he himself had never been intimate with a girl. He stared down at her face, shining eyes. She was so beautiful. He didn't want to hurt her. Sighing, he leaned down and kissed her. She reached up and grabbed his neck, deepening the kiss. He pushed his tongue into her mouth. Her body moved up to his, causing his eyes to roll. He moved his lips to her neck, kissed her there, making her moan. His tongue glided over the pressure of her throat, causing her to grasp his head. He slid it down her neck and onto her clavicle and then to her chest, where he pulled the fabric down, revealing her breasts. She gasped loudly.

Denise felt the gentle caress of his tongue as he ran it over her breast, teasing the sensitive area. She closed her eyes, loving the emotion that came through her body. It made her hot and cold at the same time. His mouth captured her nipple, suckling gently on the small bud. She moaned her pleasure, enjoying every bit of it.

He let go of that breast, and kissed the bone separating each and then switched to the left one. She whispered his name softly, letting him know that it felt good. He showed love to that one and then moved his mouth further on downward to her stomach, where he kissed the warm flesh there.

Denise's grabbed a fistful of blanket in her hand. Every spot his mouth touched, caused butterflies to flutter in her stomach. When she felt his tongue trail down to her belly button, she whispered, "Jordan, baby..." The dipping of his tongue into her navel caused her to moan again, completely loosing her sentence.

Jordan kissed the thin wisp of hair below her navel, following it's lead. She moaned loudly. When he reached the trim of her underwear, he felt his body get even hotter than what it already was. He didn't know if he could become any more erect considering the fact that he was already to his fullest length and pulsating so badly.

Grasping the waist band of her panties, he pulled and with one swift movement of her body, they slid down her legs. He watched as they did this in fascination. His hands touched her toes, playing with each one. He heard a giggle and felt his heart smile. Continuing on, he caressed her calves, feeling the smooth curves there, loving each one. His hand massaged up her leg, to her thigh. He looked at her most intimate place, feeling a tingle go through him and then a moisture. He closed his eyes, hoping the blood rush he felt would subside. When it finally did, he opened his eyes again and touched the neatly trimmed bush of hair that was on her vagina. It too was soft. He moved his fingers down that area tracing the fore skin.

Denise felt the tremble in her legs and felt the ache intensify in her legs. She gasped as his finger slid inside her. He moved his fingers, slow at first, but then picking up the pace. She whispered, "that feels good."

Jordan watched as her legs moved and heard the moans in her voice. He liked the sounds she made. He stared in fascination as her body yielded to his hands; The liquid that lubricated his fingers. He hadn't known that the body did this. At least not her body. His fingers thrust in and out. He started to feel heavy. He licked his lips, mouth dry. It was then he saw it. Something pointing. Almost like a small mountain in the middle of a Forrest. He touched it. He watched her legs wiggle and her moan. He stared at it, wondering what it was there for. His tongue ran over the roof of his mouth and he felt the pressure there unlike before.

Denise's eyes flew open and she grasped his head and pulled. It was a natural reaction, although she didn't know it. She moaned loudly, wondering what it was he was doing? She couldn't tell if he was still touching her with his finger or with his tongue. She just knew the feeling was uncontrollable to her. The pressure between her legs begin to build and build until she half whispered, moaned and gasped his name.

Jordan felt the stiffening of the small muscle there and moved. He watched a her body locked on it's own and she made this weird sound. Strangely enough, this caused him to laugh softly. Getting up from where he kneeled, he looked at her through sheepish eyes, not really sure what to say.

Denise whispered, "Lay with me."

He licked his lips and got into bed next to her. She kissed his mouth, stroking his tongue with hers. He grabbed her bra band in the back, unhooked it and pulled it off. Her breast sat against his chest. He kissed her hard, pulling her close to him. Denise felt the aching go to a different level when their bodies made contact. She threw her leg over him, inviting him. He closed his eyes, feeling her moisture contact with him. Grabbing her body, he pulled her on top of him. She sat there starring at him. He tried to focus on her face, but his eyes continued to stray to her breasts. He stared at the round buds, loving the way they puckered. He reached up and stroked one. She looked down at him smiling, "You like them?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I do."

Why did his voice sound deeper than normal? Sighing, Denise waited for a minute or two before asking him, "Are you ready?"

He swallowed, "Yeah, but...aren't I supposed to be on top?"

Denise giggled and in a seductive whisper asked, "Says who?"

Jordan ran his hands down her stomach, "That's standard. The guy's supposed to be on top."

Denise laughed again, "Would you like to be on top?"

Jordan's fingers trailed past her stomach, and to the trail of hair. "Is this your first time?"

Denise stared at him like he'd asked the dumbest of all questions. "What?"

He felt embarrassed, but asked it again, "Is this your first time?"

She swallowed, "Yes."

Denise looked down at him. "I don't know if I want to stick you inside of me."

He narrowed his brows, "What?"

She whispered, "I don't know if I can stretch that wide."

Jordan's skin flushed, and he said, "Well, you have to be able to. Women stretch when they have babies."

Denise raised a brow. "I suppose so."

Jordan grabbed her waist and pulled her off of him. "What are you doing?"

He said, "Condoms Denise."

Denise sighed, "Oh."

Jordan went to his desk to grab one. When he turned back around, Denise was underneath the cover, her curves outlined. He got in bed next to her, ripped open the condom and put it on.

"For a virgin, you sure do know how to put on a condom quick." She whispered, turning to face him. He blushed for the fourth time that night. "I've had plenty of practice."

Denise laughed as he turned her over on her back. She grabbed his shoulders, "You've been practicing for a while, haven't you?"

Jordan pushed open her legs. Immediately her body began to tremble. He whispered, "Are you alright?"

She swallowed, "Nervous."

He paused, "I won't do it if you don't want to."

She whispered, "I do.”

He guided himself to her and pushed gently. She adjusted her body, so that the tip slid in. It went in deeper. There was silence between them. He pushed a little further. Denise closed her eyes, trying to swallow the uncomfortable thickness he had. He slid in a little more. She exhaled, counting. He slid in some more. She gasped "ow." A little more and she was crying out. He looked at her and swiped away some tears. "I'm sorry."

Denise swallowed as the tears continued, "Just hurry, ok?" She didn't know it would hurt this bad. There was a burning sensation as he pushed in deeper and then finally, he was all the way in. She cried out in pain as he moved inside her, stretching tight skin. She gasped. He whispered, "Denise, baby..." She closed her eyes until her body relaxed and she began to feel a mixture of pain and pleasure. It was like it hurt, but it felt good at the same time. He felt it when her body relaxed and the tension eased. Now that he wasn't so focused on pain, he felt the tingles within himself as he trusted inside her. Her legs which had been laying down, opened up and she loved it. He felt the moisture everywhere he pushed into her, making him want to go deeper.

Denise gasped, for the pain had subsided and the tingling inside her body grew to sparks. She moaned loudly. His pleasure could be heard as well. She grabbed his shoulders and pushed her body up to meet his. He grabbed her waist and held it down, pushing himself inside her. Denise felt a different kind of excitement at the weight of his hand. He seemed to hit something else inside her, she not even knowing it was there herself. As his body moved over hers, she moaned how good he felt. His movements caused the tingles to burst. She gasped his name, as he moved into her spot over and over. In and out, until they both had an orgasm at the same time.

 

 

Chapter Forty Three: Cigarettes

 

 

Denise felt stiff and sore the next morning she awoke. She'd never known loosing one's virginity would be so painful. She wondered if the pain would continue every time sex happened? Sighing, she glanced up at Jordan, who lay next to her, his green eyes glossed over, looking as if he'd woken up a long time ago. She felt a skip of her heart beat and a lazy smile recorded over her features.

"When will I have the chance to wake up before you?" She whispered, staring at him with stars in her eyes. He smiled back, head propped up in his left fist. Taking his free hand, he ran it the length of her nose. "Hopefully never. I like watching you sleep. It's one of the few times you're peaceful."

Denise pushed her hand against his chest playfully. "Whatever."

Jordan grabbed it and pulled it up to his mouth. He kissed the open palm. Both were thinking the same thing, yet not really sure how to bring it up. Jordan stared into her eyes, wanting to say what was in his heart. He took a gulp. She sighed, and then clearing her throat, she whispered, "That wasn't what I expected."

Jordan furrowed his brows in concern, "Is that a good thing or bad thing?"

"It's both good and bad." Her hands were running along his chest, enjoying the surface.

"What do you mean?"

"You may not have noticed because you were off in your own world, but that hurt like crazy to me.”

Jordan leaned over and pulled her close to him. "I know baby, I'm sorry."

"I wish they'd tell us what to expect when you have sex, other than babies and diseases."

Jordan laughed, "If they did that, just how would they describe it?"

Denise smiled, enjoying the playfulness of a serious conversation, "Hurts like hell."

Jordan laughed and kissed her forehead, "I didn't want to hurt you." He whispered.

Denise smiled, looking him in the face, "You were worth it."

He sighed lovingly, feeling a blush creep up his cheeks, but this time of gratitude.

Leaning down, he kissed her lips. She kissed him back, comforted, feeling as if for once in her life, she'd made the right decision.

Jordan kissed her one more time, reluctant to let her go. He wanted her to stay, but knew she had to go. When he'd offered to give her a ride home, she'd declined, stating that her mother would know she was over there. He watched as she walked down the stairs, into the real world.

Once she'd stepped out from the comfort of his arms, she knew she'd have to deal with a lot of truth. Starting with the lie she'd told him last night. She'd wanted to be with him so bad, that she'd told him that her mother had said she could spend the night over Tanya's, when in reality, her mother had asked her to be home by midnight because she had a doctor's appointment early that morning, and Vicki had cheer leading practice, while Garrette was still fixing up the Crane Mansion. He'd been working on it for a whole year and four months now.

Sighing, Denise groaned with an upset stomach. Fear launched itself in her gut as she anticipated what her mother's reaction would be.

Jordan smiled to himself as he turned back into the house. He thought of last night, and how things had unfolded. He hadn't been expecting her to be so forward with what she wanted. He smiled, because that had been exciting in it's own way. He sighed as images of her curves filled his mind. He'd seen, felt and tasted every inch of her and loved it. He still felt strange and sort of awkward at the knowledge that he wasn't a virgin anymore. He walked from the foyer to the living room then back upstairs. He needed to clean up and air out his room before his mother came home and began to suspect what had happened. Going into the area, he went to the windows, opened them up and then felt the cold air come through. He grabbed his blanket and sheets and pulled them off the bed.

About an hour and a half later, when he'd taken a shower, combed his hair, brushed his teeth and then put on some clothes, he pulled his bedding out of the dryer and went to his room, where he'd straightened everything immaculately and sprayed with a potpourri scented air freshener and put the covers on his bed. Sighing, he looked around, satisfied and for the first time felt his stomach growl.

When Jordan reached the kitchen, he went to the fridge, rambled through it and grabbed items to make a peanut butter and Jelly sandwich to go along with some chicken noodle soup he'd found on the bottom shelf. Sighing, he closed the fridge, went to the table with the items and that's when he saw the note on the table. Written in Lasaire's handwriting, it read:

Cousin, I drove aunt Anita to the hospital in North Hampton. Please come as soon as you can.

Lasaire

Jordan left the items on the table and without grabbing a jacket, left through the kitchen door to jump in his car. He felt dread over come him. For his mother to go to the hospital, it had to be something serious. His heart beat jumped out of his chest as he thought of how long that letter had been sitting there. How long had his mom been at the hospital? He didn't know. He just knew that sometime after he left for his party, Lasaire drove her there. Immediately, he was struck with guilt. He'd been messing around with Denise, while his mom lay in the hospital. How horrible was that?

As soon as she entered the house, Denise pulled off her coat and hung it in the hall closet. She made her way down the hall and into the living room. She went through there, into the kitchen and then walked to the den located off the kitchen. As she walked down the stairs, she held her breath, knowing that her mother would be royally pissed.

Timidly, she reached the last stair and was down in the basement. Her mother was not sitting at her computer. Instead, she was sitting on the couch, a long Virginia slim in her thin fingers. The air surrounding the confines of the basement smelled of stale cigarette smoke. Denise inhaled sharply and fanned the air with her right hand, her voice soft, she whispered, "How many of those have you smoked?"

Mrs. Richards took a puff of her cigarette and slowly exhaled. "Where have you been?"

Denise swallowed, "Tanya's."

There was silence, but then a high pitched sound came through, laughter. Her mother was laughing. Turning to look at Denise, she said, "I never thought I'd see this day come."

Denise gulped hugely, well aware of the tension that displayed in her mother's red eyes.

"I called Tanya's last night and she said that you and Jordan had left the house around eleven thirty."

Denise inhaled sharply.

Mrs. Richards got up from the couch, walked over to the desk and then put her cigarette out in an ash tray. Walking to where Denise stood, she said, "Where did you and Jordan go?"

Denise swallowed again, "Why?"

Renee raised a brow, "Why?" Her voice got high, "I want to know if my daughter is fucking her boyfriend. That's why."

Denise's eyes got big and round. She took a step back, "Don't say it like that." She felt the thudding began in her heart.

"Why not? That's what it is..." Her voice trailed off, her tone softer when she spoke, "You are fucking him, right?"

Denise felt a blush rise to her cheeks, stepping back, she shook her head no. "Why do you have to say that word? You make us sound like animals."

Renee cleared her throat, "So you two are? For how long?"

Denise felt tears well up in her eyes from her mother's vulgar language. Inhaling, she whispered, "I don't want to talk about this right now." She swallowed and turned around. Her mother yelled, "Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you."

Denise let out a gulp and continued up the stairs. Her mother said, "I don't want you to end up like me, Denise."

Denise paused on the stairs. Turning around, she glanced at her. "What are you talking about?"

Renee inhaled sharply, "Come sit down and I'll tell you."

Denise's gaze on her mother was sharp, pained, her lips tight with agitation. How could she even think of her and Jordan together and call it that?

Sighing, Denise turned away from the exit of the basement and made her way to the couch where her mother had sat down. Denise sat with her legs crossed, staring at the wall above the computer. Her mother had grabbed another Virginia slim and was now about to light it up. "Mom, please." Denise whispered. She hated cigarettes. They were a detriment to anyone's health and by the looks of it, her mother would be joining a mass population of smokers.

Renee cleared her throat. "Sorry..." She swallowed and pushed the cigarette back into its pack. Licking her lips, she whispered, "You know your dad and I divorced when you were four, right?"

"Yeah, I know. He left when I was two."

"Well, I didn't tell you back then, but your dad and I dated in high-school just like you and Jordan. We dated for a year and a half, and then I became pregnant. Your father, he wasn't too happy about the whole thing because he had his sights set on attending Washington State University that fall. My father told him that if he left me alone while pregnant with his child, he would hunt him down and do the worst possible damage to him." She inhaled sharply and continued on with the story, pulling an exhausted hand through her hair. "...so, your father and I got married."

A brief flicker of a smile came across her face. "It was cute, real for me, just a show for him." Just as it had appeared, the smile disappeared and a frown replaced the look, displaying emotion less than satisfactory. "Afterward, we stayed together and I thought everything was fine, till one day, he came home and said he was leaving, because he couldn't stand living in less than desirable circumstances. He said he was tired of trying to support us all and never having anything. The following week, he left.

After that, I was left struggling to provide for you on the little job skills I had, till you were about four. I went back to school, got an associate's in Advertising, Journalism, and then started a real job, where I could manage to take care of you."

Denise swallowed, "So, dad left because..." She paused, waiting for an answer.

"He left, because he wanted a better lifestyle than the one he had." Renee replied.

Denise sat there quiet, not saying anything.

"Look, Denise, I love you very much, but I don't want to be a grandmother before my time. I don't want any grand kids from you unless you're going to be with that man for the rest of your life. I don't want you to have to struggle."

Denise inhaled and then exhaled. "We used protection."

Renee sighed, "I don't want you having sex, Denise. You're seventeen. What are you going to do with a baby?"

Denise swallowed, "Mom, we're using condoms. I'm not going to get pregnant."

"Condoms aren't a guarantee that you won't get pregnant, the only way to ensure this is abstinence."

"Condoms are proven to be effective." Denise stated, staring her mom in the eye.

Renee exhaled, and whispered, "Maybe so, but there's no promise that you won't end up pregnant."

Denise smiled softly, "Mom, Jordan and I will be super careful."

Renee swallowed, "I see there's no talking to you on this one, huh?"

Denise shrugged her shoulders. "I love him mom, a-lot."

"But that doesn't mean you have sex with him."

Denise was quiet for a minute, contemplating whether or not she should just say what was in her heart. What she felt when she was with him. Clearing her throat, she whispered, "I love him enough to want to have sex with him. I want to be with him mom."

Denise's mother stared her daughter in the eyes, seeing a maturity that hadn't been there before. She exhaled sharply, "I can't persuade you other wise?"

Denise shook her head, "I've already sealed that deal mom, last night."

Butterflies began in her stomach as she thought back to the previous night's events. "I won't promise you that we won't do it again."

Renee sighed, pulled out a smoke from the pack she carried and with trembling fingers, grabbed the lighter off the desk where her computer rested. Flickering the match, she watched as the light lit the brown tobacco and smoke began its rise. Putting it up to her mouth without another word, she took a long draw on it.

 

 

 

Chapter Forty Four: Anita

 

 

Thirty minutes after he'd completed his drive to North Hampton Emergency room, Jordan parked his car in one of few empty parking spaces and made his way toward the entrance. He ran up to the receptionist desk and asked the nurse behind the desk where was Anita Williams located. She looked up at him, smiled and asked for her name again. After he gave it to her, she looked her up and then paused. "What relation are you to the patient?"

"Jordan Williams, her son."

She nodded her head, "She said you'd be able to fill out her information." The lady handed him a pen and pad and then gave him the room number. Jordan rushed his way toward the third floor of the hospital. He went into the room and met Lasaire with a hug, wrapping the five foot ten girl into a hug. "Hey, Jordan. Where were you? I called like fifteen times last night to get you and there was no answer."

Jordan felt a blush crept up to his cheeks. "I'm sorry Lasaire, what's wrong with mom?"Lasaire, who'd been wearing the same bed clothes, flannel pajamas and a t-shirt over them, ran a frustrated hand through her hair. "That's what they're trying to figure out."

Jordan cleared his throat, and went to his mother, who was hooked up to an IV machine, and heart monitor/ blood pressure machine, and looked as if she'd went through a desert type dehydration. Swallowing, he reached out and touched her hair. She was burning up. Looking over at Lasaire, he said, "Why does she have a fever?"

"I don't know. It keeps coming and going and no matter how much ibuprofen they give her, she still have that temperature."

"Is that what's in the IV?"

"Yes." Lasaire stated, her mouth dry and eyes strained because of being up all night.

"What happened? How did she end up here?"

Lasaire sighed, "I don't know. Around eight thirty, she went to bed and an hour later I went into the kitchen for a snack, and when I went to check and see if she was alright, when I noticed the television was still running, and she was just lying there on top of the covers. I picked her feet up to place her under the covers. When I discovered they were burning, I asked her if she was alright. I must have said this for like five straight minutes, before I decided to call the ambulance. We've been here since ten o'clock last night."

Jordan nodded, "Thanks Lasaire. You can take my car and go home to get a shower and some sleep if you'd like."

Lasaire rubbed her eyes with a big yawn, "I'll wait till doctor Brooke arrives."

Jordan stared down at his mother, wondering if her eyes would open.

Just then, the door opened and the doctor came in, carrying a chart. "Mr. Williams, have you filled out the information papers yet?"

Jordan nodded, handing the doctor the clipboard. "Yes."

"Thank-you." Doctor Brooke glanced over the information. Looking back up, he said, "You're Patrick's little boy?"

Jordan raised a brow at Dr. Brooke. "Patrick?"

The doctor nodded. "Patrick Williams, that's your father's name, correct?"

Jordan cleared his throat, "Yeah."

"Wow, I knew him back when he was in the air force. My name's Dr. Albert Brooke, nice to officially meet you." Jordan put his hand out and shook the older man's outstretched hand.

Jordan stared at the doctor for a moment. "I don't recall ever meeting you."

"We never did meet. You look like him, just years younger."

Jordan nodded. "Oh, well, thanks." His gaze went back to his mother, who lay there unconscious with tubes in her veins.

The doctor turned his attention back to his charts, looked at them, and then back up at Jordan. "We're doing blood work right now, just to see what exactly is wrong."

Jordan licked his lips. "How long does that usually take?" The results will be in in about an hour or so. We took the vials about four thirty this morning."

Jordan swallowed, feeling guilty.

By the time the doctor came back with in the hour, Lasaire had long since left the hospital, and Jordan had settled back in his chair, watching television. Dr. Brooke cleared his throat and inhaled sharply. Jordan stood up. He could tell by his less than enthusiastic demeanor, that this would be bad news.

Jordan clenched his fist together. "What is it?"

Beads of perspiration began to gather at the doctor's forehead. "You're mother has cancer."

Jordan eyes widened in disbelief. "You're joking right?"

The doctor sighed, "I'd give her a good six months at the most."

Jordan felt as if he'd been bulldozed, punched in the gut and then stomped on all at one time. "Wh...what?"

"You're mother's in her second stage of hair leukemia, Jordan." Jordan stumbled backwards, hearing the doctor, but still in shock. His mother? The one who gave birth to him, who loved him and took care of him by herself for so many years was going to die? He sank down into his chair, still jumbled thoughts, not believing that his mother would be gone in less than six months. The doctor continued to speak, but Jordan's brain wasn't receiving any words. He had lost all the signals that transmitted information to his brain. He sat back, staring at the doctor, looking as if he was listening.

Denise stood in the doorway of her room getting dressed for bed. After talking to her about what had happened between them, her mother had told Denise that she was grounded and that she couldn't go out with Jordan for a whole week. No movies. No nothing. Sighing, she put on her pajamas, and then hopped into bed herself.

She'd been asleep a good fifteen minutes, when the phone rang. She hoped that someone down stairs would get it, but there was no answer. Finally, after three rings, she picked the phone up and answered in a sleepy tone. "Hello?"

"Denise?"

Denise sat up. Jordan sounded raspy. Tired.

"What's wrong?"

"I need to see you." He said, his tone tender. Too tender.

Denise laughed softly. "I want to see you too, but I'm grounded."

Jordan whispered, "Please?"

Denise heard the pain in his voice. Swallowing, she glanced at the clock. It was midnight. "Are you at your house?"

"Yes." Denise pushed the covers away from her, "Ok, I'll put on something warm and be right over."

You could hear the hard breathing as he spoke, "Ok, hurry, I need you right now."

Denise pulled on her clothes and grabbing her keys, shoved them in her pocket. She went down the stairs and sneaked past the living room where Vicki sat watching TV and out the front door. She ran down the street, heart pounding in fear. He'd sounded as if he desperately needed her to show up. The pain was etched in his voice. Taking a deep breath, she braved the cold as each step she took, brought her closer to Jordan's house.

When she finally reached the door, the car was in the driveway, one of the doors open. She pushed it closed. Going up to the door, she pulled it open and went inside. He was sitting at the kitchen table staring into space. Pulling the door closed behind her, she went to him and stood in front of him. "Jordan, are you ok?"

He blinked and inhaled sharply. Glancing at her, the tears that were in his eyes gleaned hard, making her heart catch. Touching his hair, she whispered, "What's wrong?"

He whispered, "I...I...My mom, she..."

She felt his arms go around her waist. "De-De, I don't know what I'll do without her. I mean she's been there since I was a baby. I mean...She's all I have. I don't know what I'll do without her...I need her, how will I live..."

Denise pulled his hands into hers. "Baby, what are you talking about?"

Jordan glanced up at her. Tears leaking from his eyes. "My mom, she's got cancer. The doctor says she's only got six more months at the most."

Denise stared at him in shock, "What?"

"The doctor said that he can try chemotherapy to help prolong her days, but that may not be enough to save her."

"What type of cancer does she have?"

"Leukemia."

Denise keeled down to him. "It's going to be ok, Jordan."

"She's..." His voice trailed off, his body becoming rigid. "She's dying, Denise."

Denise stared at him, shocked, unable to believe what she was hearing. His mother had always seemed healthy as an ox. Never had she imagined her sick. Taking a deep breath, she grasped his shoulders, wrapping him in a hug. "I love you, Jordan. I love you so much, you know that?" Her tone was gentle. Although saying that had nothing to do with the situation at hand, it caused him to look up at her, "Do you love me, Denise?" His eyes stared at her, inquiring.

She smiled, "With all my heart, Jordan."

"You'll never leave me, right?"

She said, "I'll be here for you, Jordan. No matter what, I'll be here."

Jordan stared down at her, contemplating. She stared up at him, her gaze sincere. "I'll be here when you need me, ok?"

He stared, not sure what to think. The only woman he'd ever depended on was his mother. He swallowed and ran his fingers through her hair. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling. The gentle touch of his hand on her cheek, made her heart flutter. He stared at her lashes, fanning her cheekbones. He ran a finger over them and then leaned down and kissed them. "Thank you." He whispered. Denise glanced up at him, her love plainly visible. "You're welcome, Baby." He stared into warm brown eyes and felt a warmth began in his body, pulling into the deepest recesses of his heart. Grasping her hand, he pulled it up to his mouth, his eyes still on hers.

Denise felt the thunderous pound in her heart as his mouth kissed her hand. She whispered, "Jordan." Her pulse was rapid as fire beating like drums against her neck. He pulled her up, embracing her, holding on tightly. She closed her eyes and relaxed into his arms, loving the strength that exuded from a single touch. His hold on her was snug, comfortable. She held just as tightly to him, not wanting to let go, wishing that he wasn't going through the pain and suffering he was going through now.

That night, Denise knew she should have told him no when he asked her to stay the night, but couldn't. Not when his mother lay in the hospital dying. Not when he needed her the most. Grounded or not, she wouldn't desert him again. She felt overwhelmed with gratitude, because he'd loved her even more after they'd broken up. She felt weird, because she didn't want to break his heart anymore. She didn't want to hurt him again, not the way she had before. When she was in his arms, she felt life. The blood that pounded through his heart seemed as if it flowed directly to hers, which made it unbearable when she thought of being without him again. Her love for him was stronger, more assured now. She laid there in his arms, staring down at long thick eyelashes as she caressed his cheeks. His mouth had long since gone slack, his full lips a beautiful red contrasting with his feathery light brown skin. Inhaling sharply, Denise felt a tear roll down her cheek. She didn't want to loose him, not now. Not ever. Exhaling, she closed her own eyes and thought she heard him whisper in the midst of sleep, "I love you.”

 

Chapter Forty Five: End of the year.

 

April, 1999

Denise grabbed her bag, threw her hoodie inside and then pulled the straps over her shoulders. She said goodbye to her mom and step dad before leaving the house. The outfit she wore was an ocean blue short body suit that was worn with a white belt around the waist. Her shoes were white keds. They were the only shoes she could wear without socks. It was a warm spring morning, beautiful outside. She sniffed in sweet scents of honey suckle and other frag ranted flowers native to Virginia. Inhaling softly, she whispered, "Wow, this sure is beautiful."

"It's like this every spring."

Denise jumped at the sound of a voice behind her. She turned around and put a hand up to her chest, "What the hell is it with all of you guys sneaking up on people?" She gasped.

Chuck gave a wry smile and said, "Sorry sweet thang, but I couldn't resist. I saw you coming out of your house and thought, hmm, I wonder how long it would take her to acknowledge that I was here?"

Denise laughed, "Ok, I failed miserably. I thought you would be at school by now."

He smiled, "I was hoping I could walk to school with you."

Denise raised a brow? "Why?"

"Well, I figure it would be nice to get to know you, since we are neighbors."

Denise sighed, "I don't recall ever seeing you on my street before."

"We just moved in three houses down from yours."

"You and your parents, presumably?"

His warm blue eyes twinkled, "No, me and my oldest brother, Jerry."

Denise swallowed, "Oh, ok." She sighed and turned back around, "If we don't get to walking, we'll be late."

Chuck glanced at his watch, "We still have thirty minutes, you know."

Denise shrugged, "I like to arrive early." Together they walked on toward school, making a right at the end of her block.

"So...Denise, where are you from originally?" He inquired.

"New York."

"Oh, yeah, I've been out there before."

Denise glanced up at him, a twinkle in her eyes, "Beautiful isn't it?"

"Yeah. All the best plays are produced on Broadway."

"You like plays?" She inquired, curious.

"Of course, my favorite play of all time has to be grease."

Denise laughed, "They don't know anything about that down here. I love that play."

Chuck laughed, "My favorite character is Rizzo. I love that chick."

Denise laughed, "Yeah, me too. She's a feisty one." They turned another corner at the end of that block and walked straight. Two more blocks and they'd be at the school.

"So, what grade are you in, Denise?"

"I'm a junior."

"Me too." There was silence. Denise didn't know why, but she felt something was oddly wrong with this picture. Finally, they reached the school building. Sighing, she glanced down at her wrist watch, looked at him and said, "I'm sorry, but I have to go."

Chuck stopped. "We're going to the same place, Denise, if you don't want to talk, just say so, don't make up lame excuses."

Denise stopped in front of him, "I'm not making up lame excuses. I really do need to go to the office before class starts.

They finally ended up in front of the building, "Alright." He stated and watched as she continued on into the school.

Just then, he felt a smack to the back, "Hey cous." Immediately, Chuck's blue eyes became cold. Glancing over at Sherry, he whispered, "What the hell do you want?" She was an annoying pain in the ass.

"So, what's up with you and Jordan's girl?" She teased.

"Nothing." He shrugged her off.

Sherry raised an arched brow, "Are you serious? I've known you all my life, and if there is one thing I know, you usually don't go after some girl with a man, unless she has something you want. She's not rich, like Cari was, and she's definitely not the type you'd settle down with, so...what else is there..."

She let this thought hang in the air till a red blush spread across his cheeks. Sherry rolled her eyes, "Leave her alone, Chuck. Let the bitch go."

Chuck raised a brow. Glancing at sherry, with a know it all look, he inquired, "Dare I detect a hint of jealousy?"

Sherry rolled her eyes, "What the hell ever. I don't need to be jealous, I have everything I could want and more."

Chuck smirked, "Yeah, sure." With that, he walked on into the building, Sherry staring after him, her blue eyes glazed over with rage.

Jordan pushed his bag into his locker, irritated that he'd woken up about an hour later than normal. What made it horrible was that he'd missed the three wake up calls from Lasaire in the guest room, and then the other two from Denise before she left the house. He'd had a hard time sleeping last night, wondering about his mother, hoping she would be ok. The doctor had called and said they'd started her chemo treatments earlier that morning. He'd tossed and turned all night, hoping the treatments would do well.

Pulling out a book for first period, he walked down the hall toward class. As he got to the office door, it opened and Denise just happened to come through. His expression widening into a smile as he greeted her. Denise smiled back. "Hey."

He stopped and grabbed the door, pulling it open for her. "Hey, De-De."

"I tried to call and wake you up this morning, but you didn't budge."

He shrugged, "I know. I had a rough time sleeping last night."

"How's your mom doing?" She inquired as they continued on down the hall to the same homeroom.

"She's going to be starting chemo really soon." He swallowed, nervously.

She nodded, "That's good. Did they find out what type of Leukemia she has?"

"Hodgekins Lymphoma."

"Hodgekins?" Denise quarried.

"Hodgekins Lymphoma is a type of Leukemia that weakens the body's ability to fight Disease."

"Oh, how long has she had this disease?"

"The doctor says about five years now. It started out as a lump forming under her armpits. She finally went to the doctor for it about two years ago, and got it treated. It stayed in remission for about a year and then came back."

"Oh." Denise stated, quietly.

Jordan sighed, "She's being given chemo treatments right now."

"That's good."

"What's the recovery rate for Hodgekins?" She wanted to know.

"I don't know."

Denise sighed as they walked into the classroom and took their seats, farther away from one another than usual.

Why did she always have to come lurking around a corner? Her blue eyes cloaked in that forever ray of hatred for everyone. Denise learned that Sherry didn't just hate her, but she hated everyone, including herself. What made her want to pick on her was beyond Denise's understanding. She would love to believe that after the incident in the hall with her and Candice, that Sherry would just let her alone, and let Denise live out her high school days in peace. A happily ever after. But no, Sherry wasn't that type of girl. Denise likened her to a viper. She circled her prey and then attacked, with a deadly poisonous grasp to the neck. Denise winced at the glare the young girl gave her when she passed her desk. Denise sighed and got out the text she needed for this class. Just as she got the book open on top her desk, a pale arm landed on the page. She glanced up. "May I help you?"

Sherry's red lips were puckered in a scowl, "Actually you can, barracuda."

"What." The word came out forced, full of tension.

"Stay away from my cousin."

Denise narrowed her eyes, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Sherry licked her lips and leaned in close to the desk, her face inches from Denise's. " Charles Anthony is my cousin. I want you to stay away from him."

Denise's jaw dropped, surprised. "You and he are bred from the same line?"

Sherry snarled, "Yeah, and I don't want you anywhere near him."

Denise laughed sarcastically, "I don't need to be told that twice, cause anything related to you can't be that sweet, considering you're so vile."

Sherry rolled her eyes, "What ever, Barracuda. Just stay away from my cousin and you will do just fine." Her tone was so harsh, that Denise had to hold back with all her might the cringe that wanted to surface.

 

Chapter Forty Six

Senior Year:

Jordan closed the door to his mother's room, sighing. She'd been released from the hospital two weeks ago, after the last of several chemotherapy treatments. The doctors had said that they'd done as much as they could to help her remission the cancer cells, but weren't sure if the treatments were enough to bring her health back. He cleared his throat and walked downstairs to the living room.

Denise gnawed on her bottom lip, quarried. Sighing, she stood up, grasped the necklace in her hand and stared at it. It was such a beautiful piece of jewelry. A smile came over her face as she remembered the look on his face when he watched her open it. Sighing, she smiled to herself. Two years ago? Wow. She swallowed and then put it around her neck, clasping it together. Sighing, she grabbed her coat out of the closet and made her way down stairs. On her way out, her mother called her name from the living room sofa. She paused, "Yes?"

Her mother's hair had grown out past her chin now, down to her neck. She had clipped the ends the previous weekend and came home sporting a new look. Today, unlike she used to dress, she wore a pair of sweat pants and t-shirt. Ever since the talk Denise and her mom had had about spending more time outside the office, she'd taken to coming home around five and relaxing to watch a show. "Make sure you're back by midnight."

Denise nodded. "Yes ma'am." She zipped her coat up, put on a beanie and walked out into the cold air. Sighing, she walked down the street to Jordan's house.

Jordan was sitting at his desk in his bedroom, working on a paper for his mystery class. He'd had to research a mystery author and write a thesis on the author and which type of mystery the author wrote. He'd chosen Agatha Christie, because she was actually one of his favorite writers. Just as he was getting into the description of her first novel, the door bell rang, rousing him from his concentration. Sighing, he got up and made his way down the hallway.

Denise stood out there on the porch, silently, staring at the swing that covered his porch. The door opened and he dressed in a knit blue sweater, dark jeans and a pair of tennis shoes, answered. His hair had been cut, spiked with glue. A smile coming to his face, he stepped aside to allow her entrance.

"Hi Denise." He stood there, not really sure what to do. He hadn't really hugged or kissed or even went out with her in a month. Denise licked her lips and pulled her beanie off. She closed the door behind her and glanced up at him. "What's going on?"

He raised a surprised brow. "What do you mean?"

She held the hat in her hands, nervously. "I want to know what's going on with you."

He sighed and shrugged, "Nothing."

His eyes were averted else where.

"Jordan, why are you lying to me? What's going on?" She inquired, her voice angry.

He finally turned his attention to hers. Looking her in the eyes, he felt his heart break. She was so beautiful. She deserved more than what he was giving her.

"Denise..." His tone faded. He didn't know what to say.

"Are you seeing someone else?" The quiver in her lips spoke of her hurt.

"No."

"Are you tired of me?" The sheen in her eyes, spoke of her fear.

"No. I'm just dealing with my mother, ok?" He exhaled.

She stepped closer to him. "Do you have time for me anymore Jordan? Or would you rather I just leave you to yourself?" He swallowed and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "No, Denise..."

A tear trickled down her cheek. Inhaling sharply, she wiped her eyes, "Look, I can understand if you want to devote all of your attention to your mother, and I understand that she's really ill right now. The only thing I request is that you let me know, tell me something so that I won't be left in the dark. I don't like to guess what's going on between us Jordan."

He grabbed her and encircled her in his arms. Grasping her chin, he pulled it up to face him. "I don't want to stop seeing you Denise. I just don't know what to say to you anymore. All I can think about is my mother and whether or not she's going to make it. I still love you and want to be with you, but my mother comes first."

Although Denise knew this was right. It was how it was supposed to be, she felt as if she'd been punched in the chest. She hated herself for the feelings of jealousy she'd been having. "Ok." Her voice was small, tone weak.

Jordan sighed and grabbed her face. Pulling it up to his, he looked into her eyes. "Denise, baby, I'm not saying that you're not important, just that I want to make sure my mom's ok first. I mean, she's done with chemotherapy, but the doctors can't do anymore. All we can do is hope for a remission."

Denise swallowed. "I thought if she was done with chemo, it meant she was in remission already?"

Jordan sighed, holding her tightly. "No. She needs to recuperate from the chemo. It's made her sick."

Jordan watched as her brows furrowed in confusion. He smiled, thinking it cute. "Sometimes, when a patient's given too much of a drug, instead of working for them, it makes them sick. That's what's happening in her case. She's been doped up so much, that her own body isn't functioning properly."

Denise nodded, understanding. "Oh."

He sighed and smiled, "You're still beautiful."

She laughed softly, "Thank you."

He caressed her chin, her mouth, her eyes, her nose. He couldn't believe the way his pulse still raced when ever touching her.

"I love you, Jordan. I'm sorry if my coming here seems a little selfish."

Jordan smiled, looking her in the eyes, "No. A whole month is a long time for us to not go out or anything."

He glanced at his watch. It was seven fifteen. "Do you want to go out to grab something to eat, or a movie, something?"

Denise inhaled, "I don't want you to do this because you feel guilty."

He shook his head no. "I want to talk to you, see how you've been doing." He ran his hands down her back, "I didn't know how much I've missed you till holding you. I could use some positive company right now. Dwelling on what's happening right now with mom isn't doing me any good."

Denise sighed, "Yeah, that's true."

He laughed,"So, let's say we go out, have dinner and maybe play some pool or something?"

Denise smiled, "Ok."

Denise flipped her braids over her shoulders, sighing at the weight she still hadn't gotten used to. Jordan glanced up at her, "Your hair looks really nice."

Denise smiled, "Thanks." They sat at a small restaurant somewhere in Richmond, both holding menus in their hands. Jordan ran an eye over his menu, looking for what sounded good to his ears. He stopped on a pork chop and gravy rice meal that came with a bowl of vegetables. He ordered that with a large iced coke.

Denise ordered a Chicken plate with green beans and mashed potatoes along side a sprite. When the waitress came and took their menus along with their orders, they settled into mundane conversation. Jordan glanced over at her, just studying her. "So...what's been going on in your life lately?" He inquired.

Denise smiled, "Nothing, except I applied to NYU last week and I'm anxious to see what the results will be."

Jordan gave a small smile. She was going to NYU? Since when? "That's great." He spoke in an attempt to be positive. Denise cleared her throat, and with a bright smile, said, "Yeah. I've always wanted to go there.” Jordan nodded. "Oh. That's great." The look on her face was beaming with pride. Denise sighed and said, "So, that's what's been going on with me. What about you?"

Jordan stared at her for a minute, not saying anything. And then, finding his voice, he smiled and said, "Well, I quit playing ball for this season."

Denise's mouth dropped open. "What?"

Jordan smiled, "Don't worry De-De, I secured my scholarship at the end of Junior year. Come next fall, I'll be headed to Hampton University."

"Oh, really?" Denise smiled, "That's good."

He shrugged, "Yeah."

Just then their waitress showed up with their food.

After dinner, Jordan led them to a golf course on the outskirts of South Hampton. When they arrived to the golf course, Denise, feeling more comfortable, grabbed his arm and wrapped it in hers. "Let's go have us some fun."

Jordan pulled her hand up and kissed the tender skin, leaving flutters in her stomach. Together they walked into the building and walked up to the young teenager who was on duty. The young guy was staring at a book open in front of him.

"What time does the course close?" He inquired. The teenager sighed without looking up. "Eleven o'clock."

"Can we get two tickets for the golf course out back?"

The guy, turned a page in his book, reached into his pocket, pulled out two tickets and said, "These are on me." He pushed them across the counter.

Jordan narrowed his eyes at him, "It would be great if you'd look up at us. How do you know we're not coming to rob you?"

The boy sighed, his voice monotone. "Cause, robbers don't ask for nothin' politely." The swag in his voice could have been death in itself. He may as well have been speaking to the dead. Jordan glanced at the book the young teen was reading. It was a J.K. Rolling book.

"If I see one more of those damn books, I'm going to go crazy," he stated, taking the tickets in his hands. He lead Denise out to the golf course.

"It's a Harry Potter Epidemic." Denise stated, smiling at Jordan. He glanced down at her, "Oh really?"

"Yep. He's into his third book release now." When they got to the door, Jordan grabbed a bag of golf clubs and pulled them onto his back. Each took a seat on one of the golfing carts and made their way out to the lit up field.

"I take you've read it?" Jordan teased.

Denise smiled, "I never said that."

Jordan laughed, "So you have?" He stopped the cart and got out. Denise followed suit. "No, not the third one. I'm half way through it."

Jordan laughed. "Ah, ha."

”“What ever." Denise whispered, standing beside him. Gazing out at the vast course, Denise sighed, "Why is this course open so late? Back home, the courses close around nine o'clock."

Jordan smiled, "Maybe because the crawlers, like you and I like to come out and play at night."

Denise grabbed a golf club out of the bag he held. Opening the bag, she dug into a side pocket for the golf balls. After taking one out, she turned to Jordan, her face lit up with a grin. "My first swing."

"Do you even know how to golf?”

Denise sighed and put the ball on the put. Standing back a little, making sure her knees were bent, she glanced out at the field for the first hole. Seeing that it wasn't too far up, she swung.

After golfing, Jordan took her to a small coffee shop for desert. Denise smiled all the way there and once they were in the shop.

"You really are going out of your way, aren't you?" She stated, taking a sip on her hot chocolate.

Jordan gave a playful grin. "I thought you'd enjoy some desert once the golfing game was over. Plus, it's pretty cold out there. I don't think you'd want to stay out there till it closes. I know I don't."

Denise sighed wistfully, content. "Thank-you."

Jordan watched the glow that animated her face. He felt good at having done this. His mind had been crossing back and forth between the night of his birthday and his mother, and he'd felt guilty for having been with her, when he should have been with his mother in the hospital as Lasaire had. He just wanted to see her happy. He hated being the one to make her cry. Grasping her hand in his from across the table, he studied the long delicate fingers. He ran his fingers down hers. The shiver she gave was visibly noticeable. He stared into her eyes, awed at the warmth in them. He had to say for a fact that this Denise, whom he'd been seeing since the first break up, wasn't the same as the Denise prior. This was a bit perplexing.

Denise felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny. She began to fidget and move in her seat. When he raised a brow at this, he sighed, "I'm impressed with you De-De."

Denise cleared her throat and took another sip of hot chocolate. "Are you?"

Jordan nodded. " Yes, I am really impressed with you, Denise."

Jordan opened her car door for her, when he dropped her off at home. She got out of the car and waited for him to shut the door. When he did, she said, "Come in and say hi to everyone."

Jordan laughed, glancing at his watch. "It's eleven o'clock at night, Denise, no one's going to be up."

Denise grabbed his hand, "Vicki will be, besides, I want you to come in, please."

Jordan glanced down into her eyes and smiled. Placing a kiss on her forehead, he obliged. Denise held his hand tightly. Together, they walked up to the door. She unlocked it and they entered the foyer.

"Denise, baby, is that you?"

"Yes, mama." She pulled him inside. Jordan closed the door and locked it behind him. Pulling him into the living-room, Denise sighed, "Look who I brought with me?"

Her mother glanced up from her position on the couch. A smile covering her face, Mrs. Richards, stood up and greeted Jordan. ”“Hey, Jordan." He wrapped Mrs. Richards in a hug, towering over her, about six inches. "Hi, Mrs. Richards."

She released her hold on him. "I'll make this quick and brief. Twelve o'clock, you're out that door, got it?"

Jordan nodded vigorously, "Yes, ma'am."

"Alright, now, how's you're mama Doing?"

Jordan sighed, trying to sound up beat. "She's doing good."

Mrs. Richards nodded. "That's good sweety. How are you doing in school and everything?"

"I'm doing well." He answered, glancing around the house. Mrs. Richards sighed and said, "Well, I'm off to bed. I have to work in the morning. Remember what I said Denise, "Midnight. No later."

Denise nodded, "Ok, mama."

With that, Mrs. Richards left them alone. Denise sat down on the couch. Jordan sat beside her. "What do we do for the next hour?" His eyebrows shot up at the grin that enveloped her face. "Kiss me, Jordan."

"But your parents and sister are upstairs."

Denise sighed and pulled her body over his. Sitting on his lap, she ran her fingers up his shirt, feeling the muscles there. He closed his eyes and let out an anxious chuckle. "Each year you get more and more evil." She leaned in and kissed his mouth. "Do I?"

He grabbed her around the neck and pulled her into him for the kiss. Immediately his tongue pushed it's way into her mouth. She kissed him with just as much passion as he kissed her. He pulled his mouth away from hers and whispered. "An hour Denise."

She went to his shirt and pulled it up. Her mouth attacked his nipples underneath the shirt. When she finished tending to both of them, she trailed kisses down his chest, stomach and navel area. He closed his eyes when she reached his stomach, causing a straining in his pants. He whispered, "Denise, it's been a month girl." She took a nip out of his stomach in response to his words. He exhaled sharply. "We're on the couch, in your house." Her fingers trailed down to the hair that disappeared underneath his pants. When her hands grabbed him and gave a gentle squeeze, his eyes fluttered close again and he moaned, feeling his own stiffness. "Denise Renee Calloway. You are one bad girl." His mind was working in over drive trying to tell her to stop, but her hands felt so good. When his pants unzipped and he felt a tug on his jeans, he was disappointed with himself because his body actually raised up and she pulled them down. "Denise," He was whimpering now. Why did she have to feel so good? Why did her mouth...He gasped when her tongue flickered over his shaft, hardening it even more. He said, "Denise, I..." Her mouth covered him and all ability for him to speak fell to the ground. He grabbed the back of her head and closed his eyes. He'd never asked her to do this, but from the moment she'd first done it, he'd been hooked. He licked his lips, enjoying the smooth sensation of her lips squeezing him on the way down. He moaned again, a little louder. She moved her mouth over him, sucking gently, lovingly, its inside wet. He felt the tingle began in his sac area and then work it's way up to his shaft and then finally burst forth. He hadn't even realized when she'd moved her mouth.

Denise watched with pleasure, the spill that came from him and the expression he'd displayed this time. He opened his eyes and breathing hard, he whispered, "Denise, you are evil."

She just laughed, "You know you liked it."

He wiped his face with the sleeve of his sweater, "You're still evil."

She smiled, her lips turned up in a seductive way, "And you still liked it."

He inhaled, "I need something to wipe myself."

She got up and went into the bathroom off the kitchen and grabbed a towel from the closet inside. Wetting it with warm water, she took it back to him.

"Here baby." He pulled his shirt up and wiped himself off. This turned her on even more, watching him. She took off her shoes, followed by her pants and underwear, leaving them on the floor, she grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back into the couch. Bestowing him a naughty wink, she whispered, "You didn't think you were done did you?"

Immediately, Jordan hardened again and whispered, "Pure evil. That's what you are."

As she slid down on top of him, she whispered, "You know you like it." He grasped her hips, pushing her further, "No, I love it."

With her love for him shining brightly in her eyes, she smiled, and became wrapped up in the feel of him gliding inside her ever so slowly. The pace climbed and then steadied as they both rocked to each others rhythm.

Chapter Forty Seven:

Denise felt a beautiful reminder of what happened the previous night that morning through the soreness in her body the next morning as she awoke to get ready for school. She sighed and wondered if sex was supposed to be this good in high school. She knew judging by the cat fights in the hall among most couples and the frequent breakups that seemed to come along with long relationships, that just the fact she and Jordan had lasted as long as they had, an up coming two years that March was awesome. She felt as though she loved him more than the air she breathed and to her that was scary. To feel as though she needed him was enough to drive any sane girl like her crazy. She honestly couldn't imagine herself loving anyone as much as she loved him. She didn't think that was possible. She also didn't think it was possible for another man to touch her body the way he did and still make her feel as though she couldn't get enough. It seemed as though last night had been a great rain to the drought she'd been experiencing the past month. She bit down on her lip as just that reminder brought about his scent to her nostrils. Instantly her nipples perked and her thighs began to moisten at the pool of liquid that gathered in between them. She didn't believer there would ever be a time when she could deny him, especially sense he provoked so many wonderful feelings in her. She got out of her bed and went to take a shower.

She must have been in deep thought over her actions that night, because she didn't notice when Chuck came up behind her and grabbed her around the waist. She jumped away and stared at him with flushed cheeks. “What in the hell are you doing?”

He smiled charmingly, his blue eyes feigning a look of innocence. “Surprise! How are you doing beautiful?”

She touched her hand to her chest, “I don't like you doing that Chuck, don't come up to me like that ever.”

“It was just a friendly little gesture.” He stated, coming up next to her. Denise licked her lips, her mouth suddenly dry. “Well, how about keeping those gestures to yourself?”

He smiled at her, “What, afraid you might want something other than what Jordan could give you?”

She furrowed her brows, “I bet you would like that, wouldn't you?”

He exhaled and leaned into her face, grabbed her cheek and setting his sky blue eyes upon hers, he said, “ yes and you'd love it.”

Denise swiped at his hand. He caught hers in his. “I like your feisty behavior Denise, it's a turn on.” She tried to pull herself away from him. He held onto her tightly and pushed her into one of the yards, pressing her against a house. She stated, her tone shaky, “Let me go.”

He smiled at her and grabbed her chin. “I know something that you've been trying to hide since that day at Jordan's party Denise.”

She stared up into his blue eyes and saw sheer excitement, causing her heart beat to accelerate. She closed her eyes. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to get excited. If anything, she should be disgusted. For crying out loud, she'd just fucked her own boyfriend the night before. What could he possibly offer her that she couldn't get from Jordan. She was satisfied right? As if dangling this question in front of her, Chuck ran his hand over her face, causing her to open her eyes. He was still staring at her with those intense orbs of his. “I know that you find me attractive Denise. I could tell the way you looked at me during Jordan's party and all those other times we've been around each other, the sexual chemistry has been really high.”

Denise felt exasperated. “What's your point? I have a boyfriend, or did I not make that clear enough.”

Chuck smiled again. Denise thought that if he was not so good looking, this would go a lot smoother. Hell, she didn't even like him in that way, but even she couldn't deny a handsome guy when she saw one. Especially one with a quarter back's build and a strong muscular form as his. Not to mention the straw colored blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes and dangerously sexy smile he wore all the time. Now as she stared at his face, she felt the thudding in her heart become intense. It should have surprised her in that instant when he leaned in ever so seductively and placed a kiss on her lips, but it didn't. She felt a burn begin in her body and as he deepened the kiss, she felt her own mouth reciprocate. It really did feel nice. His body pressed against hers and she felt shaky. His body felt different from Jordan's. JORDAN! Her mind flooded with images of the two of them the night before. She pushed him with all her might. He stumbled away from her but licked his lips. “Damn, I see why he wants you all to himself.” Denise wiped at her mouth, trying to erase his scent from her lips. “Why won't you leave me alone?”

“Because I want you Denise.”

Denise shook her head, “I don't want you.”

“That's not what you were saying a minute ago, Denise. Your sweet little mouth was working miracles against mine, wouldn't you say?” He inquired, his tone teasing, yet serious.

“If you touch me again, I will tell Jordan....”

“Tell him what? That you kissed me back? That you liked the way I made your pussy tingle? That that kiss was enough to make your nipples peak through the blouse you're wearing now?” Denise glanced down at her shirt. Sure enough, her nipples were showing through her t-shirt. She covered them with her arms. Chuck came closer to her, “Denise, it's ok to admit that you want to fuck me. We all go through those stages. It's natural.” She felt the tremble begin in her arms first and then work its way down her body. He said, “One thing you will learn from this experience is that there is always someone who can do it better.” He'd reached her and was now taking her hands and pulling them away from her chest. He held them next to her body. He shoved her back into the wall. His body thrust into hers, causing tears of frustration to well up in her eyes. He reached up and wiped them with his thumb. Starring her really deep in the eyes he whispered, “I promise Denise, when you do let me fuck you, it will be the best one you have ever had.” Denise's legs began to tremble so badly that she didn't think she could stand up straight. He stared at her, his eyes electric, honest, and full of lust until a few minutes later, he moved off the wall and walked toward the school.

She watched him as he sat there talking to a group of boys. Denise inhaled sharply, wanting to approach them but couldn't. How could she tell her boyfriend that one of the hottest guys in school had been blatant in what he wanted to do to her and she'd liked the way he'd said it. She knew for sure he would break up with her if she divulged information to him about what had been happening in the whole month that he hadn't been there to really protect her. He'd always been there to talk to her and comfort her when she needed it, but as of late, his unavailability had caused problems. Without him there, she'd easily fallen prey to some other guy's charm and as hard as she tried to fight it, she was loosing the battle. It all started with him wanting to walk her to school. Her gaze locked on Jordan's seeing the happiness in his eyes. She knew that he hadn't been that happy in a long time. Did she really want to break that moment of his when his eyes shined and he'd been able to think about something other than his mother's impending death? She felt such pain and confusion grip her heart.

Inhaling sharply, she turned around and ran to the nearest bathroom she could find.

Amerie Woods flickered her tongue over her teeth. She'd chosen today of all days to wear a baby blue short sleeve shirt underneath baby blue and black short overalls. They were a new checkered kind she'd found in the mall to go with her baby blue keds she'd bought earlier that week. She reached into her bag and was about to pull out her container of lip gloss when the door opened and another girl came flying in. Amerie watched as she went to the nearest stall and barricaded herself in. Amerie opened the top on the lip gloss and was about to put it on when she heard a long groan of frustration. “Are you alright?” She inquired. There was no answer. She put her forefinger up to her lip and ran it across spreading the gloss. “Damn it, Damn it, damn it.” She heard swearing from inside the stall. Amerie twisted the top back on the lip gloss and was about to put it in her bag when the stall door she'd heard the sounds coming from flew open and she saw the girl come out of the bathroom. The girl had her hair braided in singles and the make up she had on had been smeared by the palms of her hands. Amerie watched as she turned the faucet on.

“Are you alright?” She spoke to the girl.

“That's a good question. I really don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know?” Amerie had placed the gloss in her bag and was now staring at herself in the mirror. She pushed her black rimmed glasses upon her nose, liking the look of sophistication they gave her.

“I think I have a problem.”

“What's that?”

“There is a guy I can't really stand, but he has the ability to get under my skin.” She stated. Amerie sighed, “Jordan's already worn out his welcome?” When Denise heard her speak Jordan's name, she didn't know if she should be talking to Amerie because if Amerie knew who he was, then she knew who she was, which meant that she knew who Chuck was because Chuck and Jordan were good friends.

“If you need to talk, I'm not going to go blab your business, I'm pretty good at keeping to myself and besides, why worry? Sherry and Pamela graduated a year ago, they can't fuck up anything for you and as well all know, Candice is currently best friends with your sister.” Denise washed her hands with soap. “How do you guys get wind of this? It's like a live twenty four hour soap opera that never side down.”

“It's the small town quality. There's shit here to do except get in everybody's business, you know what I mean?”

Denise laughed at this. She was starting to like Amerie. “So, how do I know you won't go run your mouth?”

Amerie shrugged, “You don't. It's just about how badly you need to speak to someone.”

Denise exhaled, “I need to talk to someone. Tanya's not here so I don't really have anyone to ask advice from.”

“So you're getting tired of Jordan, right?” Amerie inquired. Denise took this time to look up at the girl and came face to face with a pecan colored skin tone, full lips and a wide nose with black hair that was straight and hung at her mid back. She had a streak of pink going down the front of it. Denise smiled, “I like your hair it's cool.”

“Thanks.”

“My problem's not with Jordan.”

Amerie nodded, understanding, “Ok.”

“It's with Chuck.”

Amerie smiled at the mention of his name, sweet Jesus that boy was as fine as they came. Jordan was a looker, but Chuck, he looked like he belonged on a center fold. Amerie felt the drum of her heart began. “What about Chuck?”

“He's a pervert.” Denise stated.

Amerie licked her lips, “You mean he's a freak. I think that's well established around school. He always has something sexual to say and when he does, he manage to make it sound hot as hell.”

“I think pervert is a more accurate term.”

Amerie smacked her lips together, “Would you ever call Jordan a pervert?”

Denise grinned, “No, he's definitely not a pervert.”

“He's just the type of guy that can put it on you real good isn't he?”

Denise furrowed her brows. “How do you know?”

Amerie laughed, “Your face says it all. Anyhow, obviously he and Chuck like the same things, I mean they both like breasts, butts, and the pie, if you know what I mean.”

Denise sighed, “Yeah, but Chuck is very blunt with his.”

“And that's why you call him a pervert?”

Denise shrugged her shoulders.

“You know what I think Denise.”

“What?”

“You call him a pervert because you like the way he talks, it turns you on and he isn't supposed to turn you on because you are with Jordan, right?”

Denise groaned, “Oh my God, is it really that obvious?”

Amerie smiled, “For a girl like me, hell yeah. I could tell by the way you were screaming in that bathroom a minute ago. There's nothing wrong with a little crush. You can always look and not touch.” She stated.

Denise laughed, “That's where the problem lies. He's always finding some excuse to touch me or hold me or do something where he can feel up on me.”

“So, tell Jordan. I'm pretty sure he'll kick his ass, although I do believe it would be a close call.”

Denise shook her head, “I can't.”

“Why not?”

“Girl this morning he threw me up against a brick wall and kissed the hell out of me.”

Amerie laughed at the choice of words she used. Denise exhaled and went to the nearest wall. “I loved it, it was like one of the most sensual kisses I've ever felt. I mean it was so much raw passion in it.”

“You mean lust?”

“What ever, it just was one of those kisses that I'm used to Jordan giving you know. I always think of it being just me and him.”

“That's how you want it right?”

Denise put her head in her hands, “Yes. I wish that Chuck wasn't so damn fine. If he was ugly then maybe, just maybe I would stand a chance but although I can't stand him, I find his bluntness really hot. Too hot for my own good. I thought that everything would be ok when I left this morning, because Jordan...” Her voice trailed off and she looked back up at Amerie, who was standing there just shaking her head. “You poor girl you.” Her tone was sarcastic.

“Very funny...”

“Amerie.”

“Amerie. The truth is that I love Jordan, I don't want to hurt him and I definitely do not want to trade him in for a good fuck. You know what I mean?”

This caused Amerie to giggle. She and Denise had found a corner and were talking. The bell had yet to ring for the next period, so luckily, they were the only ones in the bathroom.

“So, I take it you already tested...”

“No, no, no, and I won't be doing that either. Jordan means everything to me. You understand. He and I have been through hell and back just to work at what little good we do create together, plus he's really good at what he does.

“So, then how do you know Chuck will be a good fuck?”

“He told me this morning after he kissed me into oblivion that when he does get to fuck me, I was going to enjoy it.”

Amerie's eyes widened and her jaw dropped to the floor, “No.”

“Yes. I tried to warn him by telling him I'd go to Jordan, but damn, he's so good at manipulating.”

“Is he now? How long has this been going on between you and Chuck?”

“It started at Jordan's birthday party. It slowly escalated to him walking me to school with Jordan and then when Jordan became to distracted to walk to school with me anymore, Chuck started doing it and in between that time, he's managed to make me confused. I mean he would ask me simple questions you know like what did I think of him and if I thought he was handsome enough to get a girl. I'd say yeah, any girl you want, then he'd asked me what I thought his best feature was and of-course like an idiot I would answer him and then he started complementing me. Little things at first and then those went from I like your hair, to do you know that that shirt fits you perfectly and those Jeans look perfect on you, especially the way they curve to your hips. Then he started touching me to express how nice I look.”

“You poor thing.” Amerie stated, again, sarcasm riddled her words.

“Amerie! I told you I don't want to screw around on Jordan, he's my world. Every time I think I think of us not being together I start having chest pains.”

Amerie laughed, “Yeah, you got it bad. So, obviously this guy poses a threat to you and Jordan's relationship, so you don't want to really have anything to do with him. Why don't you ever just tell him to leave you alone and avoid him like the plague?”

“I tried that, it didn't work, he just became more persistent.”

“Girl you must have gave him a little bit of something for him to be sniffing after you like a damn dog.”

“I think to be honest, he only wants me because Jordan has me.”

“That would mean he's not really Jordan's friend.”

“If he's sitting up here chasing me, he can't be too much of a friend.”

Amerie cleared her throat, “You want me to get rid of him for you? I got a cousin that will do it for some weed and a bottle of Hennessy. “

Denise laughed, “Girl no, that's alright.”

“I could try to get him to like me.” Amerie stated,” just to get his attention off of you.”

Denise looked at Amerie. She was a slender girl, who kind of resembled Denise with the cheekbones and eyes. She also had a cute little figure on her. Getting up, Denise said, “Stand up a sec, Amerie.” Amerie did as she was told. Denise grabbed her classes and tucked them away. She was actually really pretty. Going in her bag, Denise grabbed some make up and began working her magic on Amerie.

When they entered the cafeteria, Amerie turned a lot of heads, even if she couldn't make out any of those heads due to the fact that Denise insist that she not where her glasses until she'd had the chance to look Chuck in the eyes. Denise had done her best work yet on Amerie, dolling her up in baby blue eye shadow and mascara and a faint blush to give her cheeks a glow. The eye shadow was meant to match her outfit and that it did. She had also taken the front of Amerie's hair and pinned it to the middle of her head, giving her hair a lifted look that would only serve to increase the look of beauty in her eyes. Inhaling Sharply, Denise walked her to the table where Jordan and Chuck were the only two people there since the other guys had miraculously disappeared. When she got to the table, Jordan's arm immediately went to her waist, “Hey sexy.”

Denise gave him a loving smile. “Hey love. This is Amerie, I just thought she could sit at our table and chill out.” Jordan glanced up and nodded at Amerie. When he glanced up at her Amerie was speechless, this was the first time she'd gotten an up-close and personal look at his eyes. They fit well in his olive complexion. Beautiful Forrest green colored eyes with a gold tent to them. As her eyes went over the rest of his form she formed one word on her mouth. Maybe she'd been wrong about Chuck being more handsome than Jordan. “Amerie, you can say hi, you know.” This irritated Denise, making her lean in closer to him as his protector. Amerie blinked, “Oh yeah.” Her face flushed and you could see the embarrassment in her eyes. Taking a seat next to Denise, her face turned to see Chuck, she felt chills course down her spine, yes, he was fine, but he seemed to be watching Denise with a peculiar smile on his face. Denise glanced over at him and made the introductions, but even as she did, Amerie noticed that all was lost on him. He only had eyes for her friend.

Jordan noticed the look that Chuck gave Denise and it irritated him. Just to get him to keep from starring at her the way he was, Jordan suggested that they all go hang out at the mall. Amerie perked up at this idea. “What do you guys want to do when we get to the mall?”

Denise shrugged and laid her head in Jordan's lap. She felt his manhood twitch at the contact of her head in his lap. She snuggled deeper and closed her eyes, “I don't really care. Just as long as I don't have to go home too soon.

“So, Amerie, where are you from?” Chuck asked, adding fuel to the fire. He could already see that Amerie knew he wasn't interested in her, but why not play with Denise and make her think that he'd slack off her just a little bit.

 

When they exited the school building after class, all four walked to Jordan's car. Together, they piled in, with Chuck and Amerie in the back seat and Denise along side Jordan in the front seat. "So, what exactly are we going to do at the mall?" Amerie inquired.

Denise sighed, "I thought it would be nice to go see a movie. It's a Friday, why not?"

"A movie?"

"Yes, a movie. You know, the kind where you go inside a dark theater and they play a movie?"

Amerie rolled her eyes, "Sounds like fun." Her tone held plenty of sarcasm.

Denise laughed, "Well, you asked, I answered."

Jordan sighed, and put his hand on her knee. Denise felt heat on the inside of her thighs. What was wrong with her?

Chuck cleared his throat. "So, what movie are we going to see?"

Denise sighed without looking back, "Why don't you pick one out Amerie?"

Amerie tried to figure out what was playing but couldn't concentrate with Chuck sitting next to her. She'd never really been that good around guys and it didn't look like to day would be any different. When Denise realized she was too scared to pick, she sighed and said, “How about you pick the movie Jordan?”

Once inside the movie theater, Denise and Jordan sat in one area of the theater, while Chuck and Amarie sat in another part of the theater. Chuck glanced over at Amerie and sighed. He really didn't want to sit next to her.

Jordan and Denise sat up in a dark corner of the theater, next to each other. Jordan glanced over at Denise, "Why do you think Chuck came along?"

Denise smiled, "Company for Amerie."

"Clearly he's not interested in her, Denise." Jordan whispered, glancing up at the screen.

Denise shrugged, "He could be, he did ask her about her home town. That shows an interest." She whispered, taking a sip of her Pepsi.

"All guys ask girls that, especially when they can't think of anything to say."

Denise laughed, "Is that why you asked me about my hometown and where I'm from?" She inquired just to distract him.

Jordan glanced at her. "Nope, I asked you just so I could keep you talking."

Denise laughed, "Why's that?"

He reached out and stroked her chin, "Because you have such a low husky voice with a thick accent."

Denise scraped her teeth against her bottom lip gently, "Is that correct?"

Jordan shivered at the seduction in her tone. "Yes." He wondered if she knew what happened to him when her voice became sensual, how much it fired him up.

She sighed, staring into his eyes. He was so damn gorgeous. The way his eyes seemed to glow with the gold flecks was enough to make her go crazy with the deep stirrings of love that built up in her.

"What?" He inquired, curious as to what she was thinking.

“I love you so much.” She whispered. Her tone began to get shaky and she felt a tear roll down her cheek. He reached out and wiped the tear from her eyes and whispered, “I love you too, Denise.”

“You know you mean the world to me, right?” She wanted him to know he meant so much to her, the desire for him to know that was overwhelming.

“I know. You mean the world to me.” He ran his hand over her hair and played with the ends of a few strands. He stared into her eyes until she called his name.

“What?” he asked a second time.

"Aren't you going to give me a kiss?" She whispered, her tone hushed.

He leaned in and planted a very gentle kiss on her lips. She grabbed his hand and held it to her. Grasping it tightly, she whispered, “ I need you." He sighed and just squeezed her hand tightly. For the first time since his mother was diagnosed with Leukemia he realized that something was bothering Denise and what ever it was, he needed to have a talk with her about it. Fortunately for her, the commercials began. Glancing up at the screen, she focused her attention there. He grabbed his cup of soda, took off the lid and took a swallow of the soda. The drink felt moist and cool on his throat.

After the movie ended, Denise and Jordan dropped Amerie off at home and then Chuck off at his house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Forty Eight:

 

 

Jordan and Denise had both decided to go to his house and check on his mother and then he planned to sit down with her and talk, just so that he could find out what was really bothering her.

He drove past her house and to his own. He parked in the driveway and then got out of his side. She got out of the passenger side as well. He led the way to the kitchen entrance. He grabbed Denise's hand and held it as they went upstairs. When they crossed to his room, he paused and glanced at her. "I have to go check on mom, I'll be right back."

Denise held onto him tightly, "I want to go to."

Jordan sighed, "Ok." It had been a good two weeks since she'd stopped the chemotherapy treatments. He figured she'd be alright with her entering the room too. Denise felt herself a jumble of nerves as they made their way into his mother's room. The comforter she was covered in was an orange and red color. Ruffles were at the hem of the bed. Surprisingly enough, the room was tidy. Denise whispered, "I'm surprised her room's clean."

Jordan laughed, "I take care of her Denise. I'm the one who does everything for her."

"No nurse?"

Jordan whispered, "I am her nurse. She took care of me as a child and now it's my turn."

"Who's with you, Jordan? Is that Lasaire?" His mother's voice came out dry and raspy.

He cleared his throat. "No, Ma'am, it's Denise."

As they came upon her bed, Mrs. Williams smiled, "You're still dating her?"

He laughed softly, his tone tender as he answered, "Yes, ma'am."

"You're going to marry her." Mrs. Williams whispered.

Jordan swallowed the bottle of nerves that went through his back. "Mom, you can't say that."

Mrs. Williams laughed, the sound weak. Denise wiped a tear from her eye. She didn't sound that well at all.

"Yes, I can, when I know it's true."

Jordan leaned over and ran a hand over his mother's bald head. Her gray eyes stared at him shining with more life than she seemed to have physically. Her skin had changed it's tone from a healthy olive complexion, to a dry yellow. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "If you say so, mom."

Mrs. Williams breathed in and out slowly, with the support of a breathing machine. "Let me talk to her."

Jordan pulled Denise forward as he stepped aside. Denise stood in front of his mother nervously. Mrs. Williams glanced up at her. "Hi, Sugar." In her southern drawl, the words sounded so sweet, full of love.

"Hi, Mrs. Williams." Denise whispered.

Mrs. Williams inhaled as best she could, and then exhaled. "I want you to take care of Jordan for me."

Denise wiped another tear from her eye. "Yes ma'am."

Mrs. Williams smiled tenderly. "He's going to need someone here for him when I'm gone, Denise."

"Mom, you're getting better with each passing day." Jordan whispered, standing up over Denise. Denise closed her eyes in a brief moment of pain. She wasn't a doctor by far, but she could tell that Mrs. Williams was not getting any better.

"Jordan, baby, my time's almost done."

Jordan reached out and touched his mother's cheek, sunken in it was. "No, you're going to make it. Sure, it'll take you some time to get your strength back, but eventually it will come."

"Jordan, the good Lord's calling me home. As they say..." She paused to inhale another breath from the machine. After a good two minutes, she whispered, "It's almost that time for me to meet my maker."

Denise watched Jordan shake his head in denial. His tone soft, yet strong, adamant. "No, mama, you're going to make it. You can still gather strength as long as there's breath in your body."

Mrs. Williams looked back up at Denise, "Take care of him, Denise. Please." She inhaled deeply and then exhaled.

They stayed in that room for a good hour, before Jordan, satisfied at the bleeping of the heart monitor, grabbed her hand and led her out of the room. When they got back to his room, he closed the door. Denise sat down on his bed and watched as he went into his closet and pulled a basket of clothing out. Grabbing a hanger from one end of the closet, he hung up a t-shirt. It was then Denise looked around her. Everything in his room was spotless. His desk sparkled. The walls looked brand new. His dresser was shining, even the carpet had looked as if it had been scrubbed. Denise glanced over into his closet and saw that everything was in alphabetical order and color coded as well. She didn't remember seeing this. Standing up, she opened the door to his room and walked out into the hallway. A linen closet separated his room from the bathroom. Opening the closet, she looked inside. The shelves sparkled and everything was color coded. She closed it and then went into the bathroom. It too was in order. Nothing was out of place.

Stepping out of it, she backed into Jordan. He just stared down at her. She inhaled sharply, "You did all this baby?"

He looked her in the eyes without answering. She smiled, making an effort to lighten the situation. "You clean better than I do."

He laughed, "Do I?"

She nodded. He could see the pain in her eyes. Grabbing her around the shoulders, he pulled her into him. She held onto him tightly. He whispered, "Denise..."

"Jordan...baby, you did an awesome job, but..."

He whispered, "I have to do something."

Tears streamed down her cheeks. "I know."

"I can't sit here day after day and..."

She nodded into his chest. He grabbed her face up and held it in his hand. "You are so beautiful."

She let out a small laugh, and swallowed, "Thank-you."

He whispered, "You're welcome, Denise."

She exhaled sharply. He leaned in and kissed her mouth. She kissed him back. He grabbed the hem of her skirt and pulled it up. He touched her body and kissed her mouth. His mouth moved from hers to her neck, where he suckled the skin there. Denise moaned and then whispered, "Feels good." He suckled harder as he pulled her panties down. She closed her eyes and gasped in delight. It was making her body tingle. He released the skin there and kissed her mouth again. She grabbed his neck and pulled him closer to her. His pants were heard as they fell to the floor. He pushed her against the wall and immediately her legs went up to wrap around his waist. He pulled his mouth from hers as he pushed his member inside her. She stared him in the eyes, seeing his pain. She whispered, "I love you, Jordan. I'll be here for you." He pushed deeper into her and began to move in slow rhythmic movements. She exhaled sharply, grabbing onto his shoulders. As he moved in and out of her, she knew that this wasn't particularly about being horny. There was more to it than just sex. He needed comfort and for the time being, she provided that. She didn't know how she would be here for him the way his mother wanted her to. The way he wanted her to. She had never lost a parent, let alone two. She couldn't possibly understand what it was she could offer him at this moment.

Long after they'd settled the issue with him, Jordan was reminded of her expression when they were in the mall. “Denise?” He asked as they were laying in his bed. He had his arm wrapped around her, comfortably.

“Yes?” She inquired, all but forgetting about chuck.

“When we were at the movies, you said that you needed me.” His tone carried more of a question than a statement for what he'd just spoken.

Denise inhaled, “I do need you Jordan.”

“What's been going on between you and chuck since I've been busy with my mother?”

Denise exhaled, “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” He didn't believe her. He could feel it in the vibrations of her voice that something wasn't right.

“Nothing.”

“Has anything been going on that I don't know about?”

Denise was silent before answering as she decided whether to tell Jordan about Chuck or if she really should just keep that tid bit to herself. She debated over this issue for a good fifteen minutes before she finally responded.

“There is something that you need to know.” Her sense of honesty got the best of her.

He grasped her chin in his hand and brought it up so he could gaze in her eyes. “What is it?”

The way his green eyes shone both fear and courage surprised Denise. She cleared her throat and said, “Since you haven't been able to walk me to school, you know Chuck's been walking me, right.”

“I know.”

“Well, it's kind of been making me uncomfortable without you being there.” She stated, glad to have at-least gotten that out.

“What do you mean, Denise?” He inquired, feeling the hammering pick up in his chest.

Denise inhaled sharply and sat up. “I mean that Chuck is not who you think he is, so he shouldn't be the guy walking me to school. If you don't do it, I'd rather walk by myself.”

Jordan sat up himself and looked over at her with a sincere expression in his eyes. “Denise, has Chuck been hitting on you?”

Denise felt her lips tighten together as they always did when she was being bombarded with all kinds of emotions. Jordan exhaled sharply and grabbed her in his arms, “He has, hasn't he?”

She couldn't speak, the only thing she felt in that instant was dread and fear. She held onto him. She wanted to explain to him how it felt and how much she wanted to go against it, but how difficult it was because of the simple honest truth that she was attracted to Chuck. She didn't want to be and it scared her to think that she would, if given enough of a pull end up being in his bed instead of the guy she knew without a shadow of a doubt would take care of her heart. She loved Jordan and wasn't willing to submit to her desires for the sake of pleasure. So, she held onto him extremely tight, hoping that this would protect her from the monster she knew that lurked inside of herself. That part of her that was all too willing to throw away the man she'd given her whole heart too.

~ ~

Chapter forty nine:

Denise pulled open the mailbox. Spring had finally come, to get rid of the horrendous winter. She smiled as the sun beat down on her face. Although she loved winter, she enjoyed the transition from winter into spring, when the crows left and in their wake brought the blue jays around. She loved it when the trees went from tall and proud nakedness, to beautiful full leaves. She especially loved the smell of fragranted flowers and huge tall palm trees that were beautiful. Sighing, she glanced down in the box and grabbed out the mail. Pulling it out, she searched through all of it, her eyes widening when she saw the letter. Inhaling sharply, she opened the envelope and read it's contents. She giggled first and then a scream tore from her throat.

She was going to NYU come the fall!

Chuck stared over at Denise with a smile. He wondered what she was so happy about? Moving from the porch, he walked across the lawn. "What are you so happy about?" He asked, a huge grin on his face. Denise felt her immediate high come crashing down as she glanced over at him. Feeling uneasy, she said, "I got into NYU."

Chuck smiled, "That's great." He came closer to her and reached out to give her a hug.

Denise pulled out of his reach and was about to run in the house when he grabbed her by the hem of her shirt and pulled her into his arms. She felt her body stiffen against him. “Congratulations.”

Denise whimpered when she felt the bulge in his pants. She closed her eyes and asked God to help her out of this one. Chuck leaned down and whispered in her ear, “You know you like it, Denise.” She gasped, “No.” He ran his hands down the back of her head, causing tiny sparks there. She felt her center heat up at the bulge that teased her woman hood. She whispered, “This is all wrong, Chuck.” She tried to pull out of his arms but her attempts were futile. He looked down into her face, she bit down on her bottom lip. “Is it wrong to give in to what you want?”

“I have someone I really love and I don't want to ruin that.”

“You don't have to worry about that happening. Just one time Denise. Just one time.” Denise exhaled sharply. “I can't.” She pulled away from him with all her might. She felt as if she'd been drugged, her head was spinning so much. “Denise.” She backed away from him, shaking her head, “No.” She turned around to run and stumbled right into Jordan. She felt relief when his arms went around her, cradling her. Jordan noticed the shake in her arms.

He glanced up at Chuck with angry eyes. “So, this is how you try to be my friend by seducing my girl?”

“I didn't do anything that she didn't want me to.” He smirked.

“You didn't do anything that she didn't want you too? I just stood here and heard every pathetic word that you tried to use so that you could manipulate her into sleeping with you and don't try to lie Chuck I know you want to fuck her.” Denise had never heard him talk so bluntly, with so much anger before.

Chuck inhaled sharply and put up his hands, “She was feeling it because if she wasn't, I wouldn't have gotten as far as I did. He switched his gaze back to Denise, “Did you tell him of how close we've become over the past couple of months. Jordan pulled away from her. “What's he talking about?”

Denise glanced up at him with tears in her eyes. She felt her heart break in two.

“Did you sleep with him Denise?” He inquired.

Chuck cleared his throat. “I believe the correct term is fuck. You mean did I fuck her?”

Jordan glanced up at Chuck, his expression beyond anger. “Shut the fuck up. You know what, just leave dammit, Now.”

Chuck laughed, his voice rumbling. “Jordan, you have a whore on your hands, say the right words and she'd literally do what ever you want. Isn't that right Denise?”

This only fueled his anger. Glancing down at Denise, he asked his tone deadly, “Did you fuck him Denise?”

She shook her head no in the midst of blurry tears.

“She wanted too though, didn't you?”

Denise felt the trembling begin in her body. She was scared now. What would he do if he knew she'd thought that? She'd wanted to really bad, but she'd never tell Chuck that.

Chuck laughed, starring at Jordan and Denise. He said, “You two are pathetic you know that? Look at him fawning over you and you Denise, are just horrible. I bet if he hadn't shown up when he had you would have let me take you upstairs and fucked the hell out of you.” The words were extremely bitter leaving his mouth. He hated Jordan even more as he thought of the beautiful luscious curves that outlined her body.

Jordan who had grown tired of Chuck's verbal abuse went up to the young man with out saying a word and punched him hard in the face. “You are the one pathetic, since you have to take what belongs to someone else and try to make it yours. You are jealous because I have her.”

Chuck spit at Jordan, who shielded his face with his arms.”Jealous? No. I hate your guts Jordan!” He spoke with such fervor that Jordan found himself stunned. “Ever since we were kids you've always had to be the Casanova. All the girls in class always wanted to talk to you and hang out with you and I hated it because they never paid attention to me. I was always in your shadow. But you know what, making Denise come to me during a very slow and painful process, now that is all the pay back I needed. I can see why you are crazy over her because she's an extremely juicy girl if you know what I mean. There's all kinds of kinky that lay beneath that shell of hers. She's a firecracker and I bet when tapped right, she's going to be a sight to be hold.” Chuck stared at her with a lingering gaze. He didn't care if Jordan saw him or not. He knew there was a very sensual and tantalizing woman underneath that shell and had he been given the chance, he would have brought out all of her best attributes. He found himself licking his lips.

Denise stood there shocked beyond belief over his words, because up until that point, she'd known that Chuck was conniving and maybe even sneaky but not for one second had it crossed her mind of the intense hatred shadowing his every move with her. As if feeling a heavy weight lift, Denise let go of Jordan and walked over to Chuck and kicked hm so hard in his family jewels, she heard the air leave his body and was about to kick him again just because she was in the mood to beat the dog living shit out of him, when Jordan grabbed her and pulled her away from Chuck, “No, baby, he doesn't realize that he already lost his stupid battle.” Denise turned to Jordan and held onto his shirt, smothering her face in his chest. She inhaled sharply, all her limbs shaking and got lost in the most beautiful smell she'd ever had the pleasure of coming across. Her head became clouded and Jordan had to hold her up just so she wouldn't faint. He was sure that she could hear the pounding of his heart as he walked her away from the picture of Chuck bent over on the lawn, clutching himself, trying to inhale air from his lungs.

When they got in the house, Denise whispered, “I'm not supposed to have anyone over.”

Jordan sighed, placing a kiss in her hair, “Since when did I become just anyone?”

Despite the disgusted anger over what Chuck had just tried to do that was raging through her, Denise answered, “You never were and never will be just anyone to me Jordan.” Jordan took her to the couch and sat her down next to him. “That's good to know.”

What Denise didn't know was that while he appeared calm and collective, he was so angry he could kill chuck with his bare hands. He wanted to do more than just beat him unconscious. He wanted to beat him until there wasn't any life left in the young man's body. His new found hatred for Chuck outlasted the one that he'd had for Lamont. His hatred for Lamont had stemmed from both jealousy and a possessive nature and also his need to protect Denise from a man that was just too controlling and overbearing. His hatred for Chuck was driven out of pure disgust over such a repulsive, low down, just down right dogged determination to seduce Denise just so he could get back at him. Jordan swallowed, his throat tight, he'd come so close to loosing Denise to that bastard and the sad thing was he hadn't even realized it until he'd seen before hand what Denise had been trying to tell him that night she'd been at his house. He realized now that it must have been hard for her to admit to him that she was attracted to Chuck physically. He sucked in a deep breath and then let it loose. Grabbing Denise's hands he spoke in a firm tone. “If something like this ever happen again, Denise, you tell me. Please, tell me because I swear if....” His voice broke. He couldn't even begin to think about her sleeping with someone else.

“Don't worry, I don't plan on letting something like this happen again.” She stated, her tone sounding tired. Jordan glanced down at her and ran his hands through her hair, “Good because honestly, I won't be held responsible for what I might do if I ever caught you with another guy.” Denise felt her body shiver at his words. There was so much passion in them. She had no doubt he meant that from his heart. Inhaling sharply, she stated, “I got into NYU.”

Jordan felt his body stiffen at those words. NYU?

“I got my acceptance letter today.” Her tone was quiet.

Jordan knew he should have been happy, but after what just happened with Chuck all he could think about was some other guy trying to manipulate her through the use of charms and he knew with New York being a good nine hours away from where they were there was no way he could drive up there at the drop of a hat.

“Denise. I can't protect you up there.” He stated.

“I know baby.” The rest was left dangling in the air until he cleared his throat and spoke. "I want you to stay with me. I need you here with me."

Denise put a hand over his heart and glanced down at the ground. “I would love to Jordan, but the thing is, I've always dreamed of going to the University of New York. It's been my school of choice since I was in middle school.”

Jordan nodded his head, trying to hold back the immediate feelings of despair as it gripped his heart. “I know, you told me, but we can't be apart, not right now. It's not a good time.”

Denise exhaled, “Jordan...I can come on the weekends to see you.”

“No. That's too much driving.” His tone held a bit of fire in it. Denise already could sense where this was headed. “Baby, I know you don't like the idea of me being that far way but...”

“No.” He shook his head no and pulled away from her. He gathered a shaky breath and stood up, beginning to pace back and forth between the entry to the living room and where she sat on the couch. She couldn't leave come fall. There was no way he'd be able to make it through the upcoming days without her. Especially since he couldn't face the reality that one day his mother was going to go. If that day did come, he wanted her with him. He needed her there.

“Jordan, I know what you're thinking, but I have always had my heart set on going to NYU. You know that.”

He nodded, almost at his breaking point. “I know Denise, but I don't want to do this without you with me.” Denise stood up and began twisting her fingers in her hand. “I'll be back Jordan. It's not like I'm going up there to live for the rest of my life.”

Jordan glanced over at her and stopped his pacing, “Four years Denise. Four years is a long time to see you just on the weekends and even if I could come to terms with that, I still need you to be here because what if my mom get better? I would want you here to see that. ” Denise dropped her head, clearing her throat. In an ever so quiet tone, she whispered, “What if she doesn't? What if...she passes away?”

Jordan stilled at those words. He couldn't begin to fathom that. He didn't want to believe that his mother would pass away. Somewhere in the corners of his mind, he'd convinced himself that she was going to beat this cancer and there was no other option but success.

“She's not going to die Denise.”

Denise exhaled, feeling a new type of dread fill her. She felt as if it was her responsibility to make him see the inevitable. Some may see it as harsh, but she was doing it because of the simple fact that she loved him and there was nothing else he could say or do to change the fact that his mother may not have a long time to live. "She's going to pass away Jordan."

Jordan shook his head, "No, she'll make it out of this one."

Denise looked up into his deep, penetrating gaze. Shaking her head, “She said no. Jordan she's going to die. The doctors said her condition is terminal.”

Jordan felt as if the life had been knocked out of him just with those words she'd spoken. He dropped to his knees. “Denise, please don't.” She went down on her knees just so she could face him. “Jordan, baby, I know it's hard to come to terms with this, but your mother is going to pass away and...”

“And you will be away at NYU when that happens.” It was as if a light bulb clicked on for him. When his mother passed away, Denise was going to be no where around. He was going to be by himself. He pushed her away from him. “Why have I been so worried about you when you had already decided the moment you got here that you were leaving. I mean from the beginning you really didn't like being in a small town anyway, Denise.”

Denise exhaled, “Jordan, I may have hated it here when I first came, but I've come to love....”

He adamantly nodded his head, “No, you haven't. You know, from the beginning this was all about you. You hated it here, you didn't want to be here, you missed New York.” He put his hand up to his face, attempting to visually cover the pain that seemed to engulf his heart.

Denise said, “I may have started out like that, but honestly Jordan, I love you and I wouldn't trade the two years that we've been together for nothing in this world.”

He stood up. “But you have to go. I guess that's what Andrew was trying to tell me but I couldn't see the big picture.”

Denise got up and grabbed his arm, “I don't think that's fair Jordan, not fair at all.” He looked at her, his eyes full of pain. “You don't think it's fair that I ask you to stay with me because I love you and I want you to be with me? You don't think it's fair that I ask you to be by my side if my mother does pass away? You don't think it's fair that you can get a degree from anywhere, and that NYU isn't the only college that gives out History degrees? You don't think that's fair at all? But you think it's fair to leave when I need you here with me? You don't think it's fair that I want to go through this with you by my side? What else don't you think is fair Denise?” His voice had lost all of it's mildness and became hard. Denise stood there, not really sure she wanted to answer his questions because she didn't think the answers would come out right. He stared at her, his eyes becoming hard pools of green lava. “I have done nothing but try to make you love me.”

“I do love you.” She stated, her tone getting stronger. She could feel his anxiety and anger beginning to build until his voice boomed, "If you love me Denise, how can you leave me? Tell me, How can you leave when I need you the most?"

Denise stood there, just watching the layers of pain that flashed through his eyes, each one getting worse as he spoke of his feelings. “The one thing I find not fair Denise, is when you tell me you love me and that you need me I'm there but the minute I want you to do the same for me, I'm told no. That's always been the problem with you. You have always wanted me to bend over backwards to please you, to do as you want without you doing the same for me. This relationship has always been one sided.”

Denise shook her head no, “Jordan, I love you just as much as you love me, but, I don't want to sit in this town when I can be accomplishing all the goals I have set out.”

Jordan shook his head, finally getting it. “Alright Denise, you know what. Go ahead. Go off and accomplish all your goals, go off and do whatever the hell it is that girls like you do. Just fucking go do it and leave me the hell alone.” With that, he turned and walked out of her house, his anger so full that he wished that Chuck had stayed out there just so he could beat that damn abominable grin off his face. At-least then he'd feel a little bit better.

Chapter Fifty:

Victoria spoke to Jordan on his way exiting her house. Instead of speaking back, he gave her the coldest glare she'd ever laid eyes on. She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as she opened the door and walked in. Without it being said, she knew that the source of his anger was in there bawling her eyes out. Victoria closed her eyes and exhaled, She prayed to God that if she ever fell in love with a guy that her relationship would go a hell of a lot smoother than Denise's. God. She actually felt bad for her sister. Closing the door behind her, she walked into the living room to find her sitting on the couch rubbing her temples, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Hi Denise.” She spoke.

Denise exhaled, “I'm not in the mood for bull shitting today Vicki. I just am not in a laughing mood.”

“So I see. Jordan didn't look like he was any happier than you are.”

“Nope, he's probably worse off than I am.”

“Why's that?” Vicki sat down next to her on the couch.

“I guess it's because he found out about what's been going on between me and Chuck and then not only that, but he's pissed because I got an acceptance letter from NYU and probably won't be here come fall.”

Victoria's brow wrinkled in interest, “What happened between you and Chuck? I thought he was just a friend?”

Denise's shoulders shrug, “Well, he decided that he wanted to be more than friends, so he turned up the charm a bit.”

“Well, you love Jordan. There's no way you'd mess with Chuck. If there is one thing I know about you Denise it's that you have this innate ability to control your emotions and your feels and how you respond to people.”

Denise smiled tenderly, finding her sister's words theoretic now that she knew that self control had nothing on a handsome face and seemingly charming guy. “That was the old me, Vicki. The new me is so damn open it's not funny. I mean, you'd think when your heart opens to one guy that you wouldn't be susceptible to another guy's charm. Well, Chuck was so good at what he was doing that I came very very close to messing up everything I had with Jordan.”

Victoria's eyes widened. “Seriously?”

Denise nodded her expression grim, “Seriously. Sometimes Vicki it doesn't feel like high school. When I was younger I couldn't wait to get in high school you know because after watching saved by the bell, I had the mistake of thinking high school to be like one of those never ending fun rides you know. I thought you didn't have a care in the world and life was just going to float by on practical jokes and stupid shit that teenagers did, but I guess high school has changed into one giant social drama club. There is stuff they don't talk about in movies and books and all of that about high school you know. They got the sexual issues covered galore, you know, making it seem like every body is sleeping with every body and they got the bitch cliques down pack, hell, they even got the different varieties down pack but what they don't talk about often enough is what the hell do you do when you fall for a guy who's beating the shit out of you because he feel like he has the right to do that. They don't tell you about the friendships that blossom into love. They don't tell you about the guys that come along in an attempt to seduce a girl away from her boyfriend for the sole purpose of humiliating the boyfriend.

They don't tell you about the headaches associated with trying to just maintain relationships period. They just make it seem like high school is one big fucking party, when in reality, in high school, your worse dreams can become reality and your emotions are going crazy, sky rocketing all over the place. I think high school has to be a farce. People just decided to stick people there just for the heck of it because honestly, damn it Vicki, I don't feel like I'm Eighteen. I feel like I'm fucking twenty five. All the cards I've been dealt have aged me to a point where I just can't see high school from a kids eyes anymore. I feel like I'm grown now.”

Victoria cleared her throat. “So, what does that mean to you?”

Denise shrugged, “It means I have to figure out my own problems now because what I used to do and how I used to respond isn't going to cut it. Jordan's mad at me for wanting to go away to school instead of staying here with him, when he doesn't realize that I've got my own goals as well. How does he think it will feel having me stay here when I've had my heart set on going to NYU since I was in middle school?”

Victoria heard her phone vibrate in her purse. Grabbing for it, she got up and said, “I think you need to talk to mom about this, this is something she'd definitely be willing to help you with.”

Denise looked up at her and saw with clarity that Vicki was still a child and therefore could not by any means help her with her situation. The most she ever thought about was boys, shopping and hanging out with Candice. Denise sighed and wondered for the first time in her life if all of her attempts to be more mature than everyone else had somehow landed her in the mess that she was in now. She'd wanted to stick out so bad that she'd adapted the persona of a young woman with maturity, when in reality, she was only beginning to cross the thresh hold into that zone. She wandered if that's what had attracted Jordan to her. The sense that she acted older and thought of herself as beyond trivial when compared to the other students. It was then that it dawned on her that even at a young age, Jordan had exhibited the level of maturity she could only dream of. She'd sensed that he wasn't like other guys his age. There were things that guys their age did that he didn't do, like most guys their age tried to sleep with as many girls as they could especially the jocks. They also had an air about them that said the world was theirs for the taking. He didn't. He was very grounded and stable. They also didn't think beyond curfews, football, basketball, parties, and what was for dinner. He wasn't like that. He was planning for life.

Giving off a giggle, she realized that no, Jordan wasn't a boy. She hadn't fallen for a boy, she'd fallen for a man in a teenage boy's body, and he too had caused a significant change in her. This caused her heart to drop significantly in her chest. Her next question was, how did she respond to him as a woman and not as a girl?

Chapter Forty Nine

April: two weeks later

April, 12, 2000

 

 

Denise slipped her book into her bag and put it inside her locker. She closed the door and jumped in surprise to see Amerie standing there, smiling. Today she wore a pair of blue eye glasses, a white short-sleeved shirt over a blue long sleeved shirt. A pair of pencil legged blue jeans along with ocean blue keds. Denise noticed that during the spring time, she only wore keds.

"Amerie, girl, if you keep doing that I'm going to end up with a heart attack."

"Sorry, De. I just wanted to ask who you were going to the prom with?"

Denise stepped back, "I'm not into girls, Amerie."

Amerie giggled, "That's funny. I just thought since you weren't going out with Jordan, that maybe you could go with my cousin, Adare."

"Adare?" Denise wrinkled her eye brows. She didn't want to go with anyone if it wasn't Jordan.

”“Yes, Adare Longfort." Amerie pushed her glasses back up on her nose.

"I don't think I'll be going to the prom, Amerie. Thank-you, but no thanks."

"Adare Longfort is a very handsome guy, Denise."

"I'm sure he is, but I'm not interested."

"You think you're not. I'm going to bring him by today." Amerie smiled.

”“No. You're going to keep Adare where he is. I don't want to hurt his feelings, Amerie."

"We'll be at your place about six thirty." Amerie stated, her tone happy.

"No." Denise shook her head firmly. “I told you I'm not going if Jordan isn't going with me.”

Amerie sighed, Sometimes Denise could be a drab. It was almost like she couldn't do anything without Jordan being with her. You'd think they were married the way Denise acted. She glanced up at her friend. "I know you and Jordan went out for two years and now it's all gone, but believe me, there's nothing like a good brother to get you where you need to be."

"Amerie." Denise hissed. "I am not interested."

“Damn it Denise! Why in the hell do you act like you are married to Jordan? You guys are in high school for crying out loud. He hasn't spoken to you in three weeks and not only that but you're starting to become a drag. Don't you know how to just chill anymore? Every conversation we have you bring him up in it. Every other word out of your mouth has to do with him. He's gone girl. He doesn't want to be with you because if he did, he would be here. I understand that you loved him but....”

At this point, Denise slammed her locker shut and crossed her arms over her chest, “No, you don't understand Amerie. You can't possibly begin to understand what it is like to have the guy you love with every fiber of your being not talk to you. You can't possibly understand what it's like to have to choose between college here and college in a place that you've always wanted to go.” Denise walked up to Amerie and stood in front of her and said, “You can't possibly understand how it feels to feel as if everything you do from here on out is really not that important. I don't give a fuck about the prom to be honest with you. The prom is just another preening contest among guys and girls to show off in stupid dresses pretending that life doesn't exist outside these damn walls. Well, you know what honey, ten years from now, it's not going to matter if you went to a damn prom. It's not going to matter who was the biggest guy or girl on campus. Ten years from now high school is not even going to be anything but a bunch of memories, so excuse me if I feel like Jordan is more important than what the hell goes on in the life of the students at this school.” Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she spoke. She'd been holding in her feelings for a while now and needed to get them out. “I know that we are only eighteen years old Amerie, I understand that, but ten years from now, of all the things I think about, the only thing worth remembering about this place will be that I met a guy, fell in love and it didn't last. That's the only thing that will matter. Not some stupid prom, unless he and I go together.” She was now swiping at the tears hard. “So, now, if you think that its dumb of me to act like I'm in love and that I don't have a lot of time to figure out what I'm going to do. So what! I don't care. I'm still going to have these issues whether you care or not. If you can't give me some type of support or back bone then get the hell out of my way. Stay away from me.” With that, she walked away from an astonished Amerie, leaving her and all who was watching starring after her.

Jordan stared up at the pub, the bright green lights blinking in the dusk of night. He could really use a drink at this moment. He really could. The problem was, he was only eighteen. Old enough to get into the pub but not old enough to get a drink. His mother's health was ailing and he saw it getting worse with each passing day. He needed something to cope. It was driving him insane. Ironically enough, he'd become a recluse within the six weeks he and Denise had broken up. He'd just let himself go. He still showed up to class, barely got the homework in, but managed to pass every single quiz given. That was how he was passing. Between weekly quizzes and in class assignments. He didn't have the time to do homework assignments. Sighing, he walked past the pub. He walked to his car, got in and put on his seat belt. He needed to do something, anything to escape the inevitable. His mother was going to die.

Unexpectedly, Amerie showed up at Denise's door around six thirty that night, with an apology for Denise. Denise allowed the young girl in. “Hi.” Amerie stated.

“Hi.” Denise answered back, going to the couch to sit down.

Amerie went to sit in a recliner that was facing the couch. Looking down at the floor, she said, “I'm sorry De. You are right, I shouldn't have said what I said about you and Jordan...” Denise interrupted her, “Will you look at me please?”

Amerie glanced up and looked into inquiring eyes. “I should have tried to come up with a solution if it was bothering you that bad but honestly, I didn't think it would go this far.”

Denise shrugged, “You think I'm some lost teenager, pining over unrequited love, right?”

Amerie exhaled, “I didn't say that.”

“You didn't have to. It was spoken in all of your attempts to get my mind off Jordan but as you can see none of them worked, because it doesn't change the fact that I love him still.” She said this with such calmness, that it startled Amerie. “I just didn't want you to be too bogged down by the pressures of your relationship with him ok.”

Denise laughed sarcastically, “Falling in love is not something that you can just erase at the drop of a dime. It's something that you can't take back Amerie. When you fall in love it's something that embeds itself into every fiber of your being.”

Amerie smiled, “It sounds romantic.”

Denise snorted, “The romance only last for a short time while you're falling, and then once you've fallen, that's when the real trials begin. Because it's then you have to decide what you are going to do about this new found knowledge. If I'd known moving here was going to drastically alter my life and my personality, I think I would have begged harder for my parents to stay in New York.”

Amerie sighed, “All of the dramatics over a boy.”

Denise snapped her head up and corrected her friend, “Not a boy Amerie, a man. He's like a grown man trapped in a teenager's body.”

Amerie found this bit of information frightening. “What do you mean?”

Denise raised a brow and shrugged her shoulders. “Jordan is a man, Amerie. No boy can go through what he's manage to go through and still remain a boy. Maturity has to take place and that's just the bottom line of it.”

Amerie furrowed her brow, “What do you mean? What have you guys gone through?”

For the first time, Amerie listened as Denise spoke over what happened with Jordan's mom and how he'd been handling it and then she spoke on what happened with Chuck and also his reaction to her going out of state to school. Amerie sat their listening to Denise's condensed version of the story for forty minutes and then when she finished speaking, she gave her own input. “Why not try to get an extension on your enrollment, see if you can enroll with a full scholarship that January instead of August?”

Denise's eyes lit up, “Oh my God, Amerie, that's the best idea I've heard you come up with yet.”

Amerie giggled, “Well what are friends for. I mean, I can see why you and Jordan are joined at the hip now. The only person he trust is you. I can see how his fear of loosing you would cause him to say some of the things he said to you.”

Denise sighed, “Yeah, I guess you are right.”

Amerie laughed, “I know I'm right. If his mother is really dying then Denise, he needs you now more than ever and I can see how he would feel as if you wouldn't care. How ever as a fellow woman, I can also understand how it feels to not want to give up your hopes and dreams because you want things to go better for your future, but correct me if I'm wrong, didn't you say that ten years from now, the only thing that will matter to you is the love you and he shared? What if you guys could be married ten years from now with your degrees and kids and you know, the whole works?”

Denise brought her hand up to rest underneath her chin. “Yeah, what if...”

Amerie sighed, “I think anything is possible to happen ten years from now, so I think that the right decision would be for you to stay and help him through the toughest period of his life right now. I mean, we don't know when his mother is going to pass away, but at-least give him some time to adjust to the changes that your relationship will definitely go through.”

Denise smiled at her friend, “Thanks Amerie. Do you want to spend the night?”

“On a week night?”

Denise sighed, “Why not, just let me ask my mom.”

~ ~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Fifty

Denise threw a pillow at Amerie as she lay there wrapped in a blanket on the floor. Amerie laughed, "I can't believe you got your mom to allow me to spend the night on a school night." She commented, putting the pillow underneath her.

"Me either," Denise stated with a giggle. "Lights out now."

Denise reached over and pulled the cord on her lamp, shutting off all light within the room.

"Night, Denise."

"Night, Amerie."

Amerie slipped underneath her pallet and went to sleep. Denise stared up at the ceiling, wondering where Jordan was and how he was doing.

~ ~

Jordan stopped outside her house. He saw the porch light was still on, which meant someone was up in the house. Checking out the window in the corner of the house, by a tall oak tree, he saw that the light was still on. He sat out there in his car, watching her window, wondering how to go in and tell the one person who's opinion actually mattered, that he apologized.

"Whack!" The sound of a rolled up newspaper hitting his roof, woke him up from dreary sleep. Jordan woke up, eyes red, hair standing up in a mess over his head. He startled awake, wondering what was going on. Looking around, he saw that he was in Denise's neighborhood. He bent his head in frustration. Why did he enjoy torturing himself so much? Was that one of his deep wishes? He looked over at her house, just as the door opened and a girl came outside. She looked his way, he recognized her face and then remembered that he'd look suspicious being in this neighborhood so early. He glanced down at his shirt and smirked, in the same clothes as he had on the day before. Looking up, his gaze went to the door. Both girls were gone.

He stared, knowing they couldn't have gotten that far. Where were they? He sighed and then turned the key in the ignition and started the car. Just as he was getting it into drive, a knock on his window startled him. He looked over. Amerie was sticking her face up to the window. He reached over and opened the door. Amerie got in the back and Denise sat in the front and then closed the door.

"Thanks, Jordan. We got up pretty late this morning."

Jordan turned to Denise, " For how long did you guys know that I was out here?"

Denise sighed and looked at the window. Amerie looked at him, "Seriously, we got up late this morning."

Jordan laughed, "Yeah, right. Denise has never once woken up late for school since she moved here."

Denise continued to stare out the window. Jordan put the car in drive then drove off to the school parking lot.

When they reached the school, Denise opened her car door to get out. Jordan stopped her with a light hold on the wrist. "I want to talk to you, De-De." Denise pulled her arm away. Without speaking, she got up and let Amerie out of the car. "I'll see you during second hour Amerie."

"Yeah, see you...guys later." Amerie stated, walking to the school.

Denise got back into his car. Shutting the door, she glanced over at him. "Ok."

He didn't say anything, he just grabbed her and pulled her face to his. His mouth covered hers in the most delectable kiss she'd ever gotten from him. This one actually made her toes curl and her body stand completely at attention.

When he broke the kiss, he said, "I love you."

She swallowed, trying to get past the kiss. “I love you too.”

"I'm sorry and I want to talk to you, but I can't figure out how I want to do that just yet."

Denise nodded, “I understand.” She thought about telling him about the extension she's planned on but

He sighed, "I will and when I do, I'll be over to talk to you, ok?"

Denise just nodded. Jordan got out of the driver's side and pulled both their books out. When she finally got out of the car as well, he walked her to homeroom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Fifty One

 

Two days later.

 

Jordan kissed his mother on the cheek. "How are you doing, ma?"

Mrs. Williams smiled at her grown son. "I'm good baby, how are you doing?" She was still hooked up to the breathing machines, so her voice was still choppy and sounded as if she had run a marathon. Jordan fluffed her pillow and then tucked her back into the bed. Today was one of her good days. She'd been going in and out of sleep sixteen to eighteen hours a day. The first time this had happened a week ago, Jordan had called the doctor, afraid that she was already gone.

The doctor had rushed over and then after staying for a couple of hours, asked him if she'd done this before. When he'd stated no, he asked about her appetite. Jordan had told the doctor that she'd dwindled down to two meals per week, and the rest of the time seldom drank any fluids. The doctor had assured him that this was a part of the process. She would eventually stop eating and drinking. Along with that, her ability to talk, and then her body would begin to deteriorate on the inside and then once that happened, she'd eventually be reduced to a comatose state, in which one day, she'd stop breathing altogether.

"Mom, do you need anything, do you want me to read you anything, or anything?"

"No, baby. I'm just tired. I want to go to bed."

Jordan leaned in and kissed her cheek, "I love you mom."

Mrs. Williams swallowed, although this feat seemed hard for her. "Jordan, I want you to take something to Denise for me."

"We're not together anymore, mom."

"You will be soon enough. I have a box that I want to give her and I need you to take it to her."

"Mom." Jordan's voice strained. He didn't want to go over to Denise's. He felt embarrassed enough as it was about kissing her. Now, to take something his mother wanted her to have, was too much.

"Jordan...please..." She took a deep breath, inhaled from the mask for a good five minutes, before finally speaking again. "I...don't have..." Another breath through the machine was taken and then,"... much time left...with my voice...It's leaving too." She stopped and took more breaths through the breathing mask. Jordan said, "Where is it?"

Mrs. Williams began to speak, but even as she was talking, her speech became drowsy and she went into a deep sleep. Jordan laid down on the cot he'd made by her bed. He'd sleep now, and when she woke up, he'd ask her what it was she wanted him to give to Denise.

The following night, at Nine pm., his mother awoke finally. Her skin had begun to pale as soon as she went into the long sleeps. Her lips were constantly dry. Today was no different as she awoke and asked for water to quench her thirst. When Jordan sat her up to drank from the cup, he sat it on her desk.

"Thank...you." She rasped. He nodded, "You're welcome."

A gleam caused her to look over on her desk. She saw a silvery box, with a note attached to it. "What's that? Is that for me?"

Jordan smiled at the irony of it. That must have been what she'd prepared for Denise some time earlier.

"No, mom, just take a rest, ok?"

Mrs. Williams looked up at him. "Thank you, baby." She stared at him through beautiful innocent gray eyes. One thing he could say about his mother was, she could be dying and still manage to look beautiful. Especially with eyes as life like as hers were now. This offered him some comfort. Jordan laid her head on the pillow.

 

Chapter fifty Two

Denise closed her Geometry book and gathered her clothes to take a shower. It was now nine thirty and she needed a shower. It was her routine to come home, watch an hour of television, eat dinner, do home work and then get a bath before bed. She stretched her arms and legs, tired from such a long day. Then she went to her closet, pulled out night clothes, went into the bathroom for a shower.

Jordan was going to climb the tree and get her attention that way, but when he went past her house, there was no car in the driveway. So, instead, he parked his car three blocks away and then went to her door. He rang the bell. There was no answer. He rang it a second time, there was no answer. Sighing, he was about to turn and go home, but decided to try the door knob instead. When he did, it was unlocked. He pushed the door open a little bit. "Hello?" He called out.

There was no answer. The television was off, there were no lights on in the kitchen. He closed the door. He decided that he would drop off the gift to her and just leave, since obviously everyone was either asleep or gone. What he didn't understand was why the door was unlocked. Clearing his throat, he called her name again. There was no answer. Shutting the door behind him and locking it, he walked up the stairs. The shower adjoining Victoria's and Denise's room was running. He checked to see if it was Victoria, but she was in bed, he then went into Denise's room. She wasn't there, so he guessed it was her. Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, since he didn't know how she would react to him being there without her permission, he took the silver oblong shaped box out of his pocket, placed it on her dresser. He took a few minutes to look around and was surprised that she still had photos of them together up on her desk. This made him smile. He glanced at all of them, even laughing until he came across a photo of a little girl with long pigtails. He stared, trying to figure out why he knew her. He ran over thoughts until finally, he remembered the park. How could Denise have a photo of a little girl he'd seen at the park? He thought hard, and then thought that the little girl must be one of the students she worked with at YAAL. Jordan couldn't believe that Denise was still working that same job after three years.

"Oh my God! Jordan!" She yelled, coming out of the bathroom. He turned around and came face to face with a toweled Denise. She had her hand up to her heart and her hair looked as if it had been run through a socket. He stared at it, a smile coming to his face. "Nice to see you too."

"What the hell are you doing in my house?!" She yelled.

"Calm down, you're going to wake up Victoria." He whispered.

"That girl can sleep through a tornado." She stated, non the less lowering her voice. "Breaking and entering is a felony!" She hissed.

"The door was unlocked." He stated.

"So, what, it's still a felony." Now what do you want. Tell me or I'm going to call the police." She whispered.

He rolled his eyes, "Yeah right, Denise. I brought you something."

Denise sighed, "Turn around, please."

"Why?" He inquired, knowing full well why.

Denise grabbed her clothing from the bed and went back toward the bathroom. Jordan grabbed the towel on her way in. She turned around, fuming, "You jerk."

For some reason the anger in her eyes turned him on. He snickered, "No use in being discreet now Denise, I already know how sexy you are." He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth. Despite her irritation, he didn't miss the reaction her body gave. The door slammed shut. He snickered to himself. One benefit of having sex was knowing how to turn her on and although she didn't admit it, him pulling that towel off was a definite turn on for her.

Denise let out a small smile. Every single time he knew how to get her. He always seemed to be one step ahead of her. His boldness never ceased to amaze her. She pulled on her underwear and night gown, and then the robe that hung on the door.

When she came out, she had the same expression she'd went into the bathroom with in place. He looked so good leaned up against her desk, wearing a muscle shirt and pair of jeans. She could have stood there staring all night, but pride wouldn't let her. Folding her hands over her chest, she cleared her throat. "What are you here for?"

He licked his lips, "Two reasons, to ask you to go to the prom with me, and then to give you something mom wanted you to have."

"Go to the prom? I thought you said you didn't want to go to the prom?"

"No, I said if you weren't going, I wasn't going, which means that if we don't go together, you're not going and I'm not going."

Denise sighed, “Have you been reading my thoughts?”

"No.” He smiled a tenderness coming over him at her feeling the same way. “I want to take you. Besides, it's the last dance we'll ever have together in school and when you go off to NYU, I can at-least say I danced with the most beautiful girl in the world." He teased.

"Why do you make it sound like we are breaking up? “

Jordan moved from the dresser to her bed. Sitting down, he watched her. "I thought we were already broken up. Denise smiled, “No. You didn't necessarily tell me we were breaking up you just stormed out of the house, so to me, this wasn't a break up. It was more a break from each other. I think that you and I can only stomach so much of each other to be honest Jordan.”

He smiled. “Are you saying we smother each other?”

“Yes, we do, but then when we are not together we need to be together.”

“That sounds like co-dependency to me.”

Denise laughed, “Ok.”

His tone became serious again as he got back on the previous topic. Look, I'm sorry about what I said to you about being selfish and how I behaved irrationally about you speaking up on my mother's imminent death. No one likes the idea of their mother dying.”

Denise sighed, "I only said it because you needed to hear it. Any you were right about me, Jordan."

“What, that you're selfish and sometimes want things done your way without any regard for others?”

Denise shook her head, amazed that even at times like this he could be so honest. She appreciated that. “Yes. However, I have some of my own news to tell you. I think you may be happy.”

“You're not going to NYU?”

Denise smiled, “You really don't want me to leave, do you?”

Jordan patted the bed next to him. Denise went over and sat down. That's when she noticed the box on the dresser. It was a silver colored oblong box with a note on top. “What's that?” She inquired looking at it. Jordan stood up and grabbed the box from off the dresser. Placing it in his lap, he sighed, “It's what I brought for you, something from my mom, but can we finish this first?”

Denise sighed, “Alright then. I wanted to tell you that I am requesting an extension for my scholarship, that way I will be able to go to school in January instead of August.”

Jordan glanced up at her, “What do you mean?”

“Well, I figured that you needed me so I am willing to take a semester off and stay until you are able to cope with the fact that your mom's dying.”

Jordan smiled at her and pulled her into his arms. “Coming from anyone else those would be some fighting words, but coming for you, a girl who's totally socially inept, I get your point.”

Denise laughed and playfully smacked him in the chest, “Hey I have friends ok.”

“And they are all just like you, socially inept.” He teased.

“Amerie is cool.”

“That girl's crazy. She ain't got it all.”

“There is nothing wrong with her, she's a real sweet heart.”

“You think that because you don't know her that much. Don't think I haven't done my research.

“What, you've been conducting back ground checks on my friends now?” Jordan laughed, “Don't I wish I could. Seriously though, Amerie can't even speak when around the opposite sex, always stumbling over her words and tripping over air when ever she's near a guy. She couldn't carry a conversation with a guy to save her life. The girl is just as socially inept as you are.”

“Well, it's nice to know what you think of my friend, Jordan Andre Williams.”

Denise sighed and turned her attention to the box in his lap. Reaching for it, she pulled the letter off the box. Opening it, she read his mother's handwriting. The letter had been written three months ago, on Jordan's birthday to be exact. It had been written on three sheets of stationary paper. She cleared her throat and began to read it.

 

February 12, 2000

Denise,

 

I know that I will not live to see You and Jordan get married, have kids or any of the stuff that most grandparents get to see, but I just want you to know that I am grateful of the impact you've had on my son's life. No other young lady has ever made him go through as many changes as you have.

Maybe that's why I believe you two are meant to be together. You see, when my Patrick was alive, he and we used to be the same way you two are. Except we met in college. It's funny now to think about it, because it was so long ago, long before I became a born again Christian. His father and I were more than lovers, we were best friends. Always there for each-other, no matter what. We even separated a time or two, because of foolishness, same reasons as you two seem to separate. I think that's something all young couples go through.

Any way, I know what both of you are thinking, there's no way you two could possibly be meant for each-other, considering the fact that you're in high-school and there's no way I would possibly know. But...what if I told you that God showed me that you two would be together, have kids and stay together your natural lives? You probably wouldn't believe that either, but imagine my shock when I saw that. In a vision I did. Anyway, I feel that God knows what purpose my death will serve and he knows what will happen with you two, whether you believe it or not.

Denise paused her reading and thought, maybe six months ago that would have been hard to believe, but now as she went through her own thought process and was coming to terms with a few things on her own, it wasn't too hard to believe. She turned back to the letter.

I may as well get to the purpose of this letter. I have left you something of great value. A family air-loom I should say, considering that my step mother gave it to me, and instructed me that when my first born was to get married, I would give it to his bride. Her step mother had given it to her as a wedding gift. Two weeks before Patrick and I were engaged, she gave it to me and told me the same thing I'm telling you. Anyway, here's something for you to hold on to, to assure you through every single rocky time that you two go through that you will be alright. Everything will work out according to the Lord's purpose, it always does.

Jordan's going to need a lot of help when I pass away. He's going to need comfort and assurance more than anything. He's going to need the love and support that you've been learning to show him over these years that you two have been together.

Well, I must close this letter,

Take care,

Love,

Anita

Denise looked up at Jordan. He was staring at the letter, not really saying anything, just staring. She glanced back down at the letter, and then put it aside.

When she opened the silver box, she gasped out loud. Jordan's jaw dropped and he just stared. Denise felt the pounding in her heart. This was too much. Closing the box, she pushed it toward his hands, "I can't take this."

"She gave it to you." He shoved it back at her.

"But she's your mother, Jordan. Your mother. "

"And yet, she gave this to you. You take it." He shoved it back at her.

Denise looked up into his eyes, "I can't take that Jordan. We haven't even graduated high school. I do believe in the possibility of us being married one day, but right now? I am not sure this is a wise thing to accept."

Jordan sighed and grabbed her around the shoulders. He placed a kiss on her cheek, " She chose you to give it to Denise, that says a lot when coming from my mother.”

“Maybe so, but it's just too much.”

“Maybe on your wedding day you can wear it as something old.” He quirked.

Denise laughed at this, “You are such a nerd. What if I don't end up marrying you? You still want me to wear it on my wedding day?”

Jordan laughed, “Would your husband minded if I took it off and accidentally brushed my hands against your neck?”

Denise pushed at him. “Jordan!”

Jordan laughed, “I'd probably end up kidnapping you for myself if you married someone else Denise.”

Denise laughed, “I can see it now, Bride kidnapped at her own wedding by a tall dark and handsome stranger.”

Jordan laughed, “Hmm, hopefully that wouldn't have to happen though.”

“Why's that?”

He stared into her big brown eyes, “Because I've already got special plans for you myself.”

“Do you now.”

“I do.”

“Does that mean I should feel lucky?”

Jordan smiled sweetly at her. “You should feel very lucky.”

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Fifty Three

 

Prom Night:

The prom had been seen as the highlight of every graduating teen's life. It was the event that all students, at-least Juniors and Seniors were looking forward to. So, the night that Jordan had picked Denise up, she was wearing a peppermint green knee length dress, that flattered her curves in the way that cinched at the hips and bust line. The bottom flared out a little, the back shaped by her backside. She wore white open toed heels with ankle straps around them. She wore her hair pressed out straight, going past her shoulders and flipped underneath at the ends. Her makeup consisted of lip-gloss with a small touch of lip-liner and eyeliner to enhance her coffee bean colored eyes.

Jordan was dressed equal to her, but in a debonair type fashion. She'd never seen him look so good in a tux before. His dark green eyes simmered with joy at being able to go to the prom. He matched her outfit with a Black tux, mint green dress shirt underneath and matching shoes. The colors complemented his dark olive tone, black hair and did wonders for his emerald eyes. It brought out a new color Denise didn't know existed. She stared at him, her eyes unable to rest anywhere else.

He pulled his bottom lip into his mouth, trying to push away the swift motion of desire that passed over him. He cleared his throat and took out the crassage he'd bought, a pink rose colored one. Denise watched him tremble slightly as he pinned it to her.

"Hey, don't stick me with that." She teased, her eyes playful. This caused him to smile, "You look beautiful, De-De." She smiled, "So, do you."

He laughed, "Awww, how sweet of you."

She giggled, "Come on, Jordan, you know what I mean."

"How long's it going to take you to pin it on her?" Their flirting was interrupted by her mother's inquiry.

"Almost got it," Jordan stated as he clasped the pin together. Denise turned around and he grabbed her hand, pulling her fingers through his. She put her other hand on his right arm. Her mother, giddy with excitement, stepped toward them with the camera and began snapping pictures. When she'd finished, Denise glanced up at Jordan and giggled, "Crazy with the camera, huh?"

Jordan nodded. "You're the first prom experience she's having."

Just then, a light flashed, letting them know another one had been taken. They looked at her. "Mom!" Denise whined.

"Aww, come on baby, this is your big night. I want to have something to remember."

Denise laughed, "Alright, whatever."

Jordan glanced at his watch. "We, have to go, Mrs. Richards.

"Y’all have fun. I know not to expect you back till late, I remember my prom. I was..."

"Renee, let the kids go. They'll end up missing their event if you keep talking." Mr. Richards stated, turning a page of newspaper.

"Garrette, Don't you remember your prom?" Mrs. Richards inquired, directing her attention to him.

"I'd rather forget it." He stated.

"Aw, you're just mad because Jonathan Coulter beat you out of prom king." Mrs. Richards stated.

Mr. Richards put the paper in his lap. "He rigged the votes. He had it in for me from day one." Mr. Richards stated. Mrs. Richards laughed, setting the camera down, seeming to forget about the kids.

Jordan and Denise both took this opportunity to leave, knowing that Mr. Richards was in for a long conversation about both their proms.

Together, his hand in hers, they escaped their way to the car. Denise giggled as he opened the door for her. "They're crazy, huh?"

Jordan smiled, "They're funny."

Denise got into the passenger seat, pulling her dress away from the door. Jordan closed it and walked over to the other side. As he got in, Denise was buckling her seat belt. "I guess that's what happens when you're married."

He grabbed his buckle and fastened it over his lap and shoulders. Glancing over at her with a smile, he said, "That's what happens when you're in love and married."

Denise nodded, her thoughts forming the idea of her being Mrs. Williams. Quickly, she dismissed the thought. Her career would be first and then she'd think about marriage. Inhaling softly, she laughed, "I am so excited, Jordan."

"I know."

"Amerie said she'd meet us in the parking lot at the school and we can walk in together."

"Poor Amerie, I didn't want her to go by herself." Jordan stated, starting the car and pulling away from the curb.

"She's not." Denise stated, a smile on her face.

"No, who's she coming with?" He inquired, stopping at a stop sign before continuing on.

"A guy she met at some concert she went to a month ago."

Jordan raised a brow. "A guy she met at a concert a month ago?"

Denise nodded. She says it was love at first sight."

Jordan laughed. "What's his name?"

"She wouldn't tell me."

"Oh."

Denise flipped her hair over her shoulder. This was going to be one hell of a night, that she'd make sure of.

When Jordan and Denise got to the school, they parked on the south end of the building, where Amerie had instructed them. Upon getting out, they spotted A girl leaned up against a guy with short cropped hair. They called out to Amerie, to make sure that it was her. The girl turned around, came close to them, and said, "Hey, you guys, I'd like to introduce you to..."

"Nate."

"Jordan?" Nathaniel- stepped closer into the light, glancing at him. A smile on his face, "Dang man, it's been, what, forever?"

Denise and Amerie glanced at each other. Then at the two guys.

"Yeah, man, How have you been?" Jordan inquired, his gaze upon him.

"Good."

"Oh yeah? You looking healthy and stuff."

Denise cleared her throat. Jordan turned his attention to her. "Oh, Nate, this is Denise." Denise held her hand out to him. He grasped it. " Vous estes belle fille noir."

Denise giggled, not really understanding what he said, but found it really hot. Nate reached down and kissed her hand. Jordan pulled her closer to him. "Ok, lay it on thick Nate."

Nate laughed, and said in English, "All I said was that she was a beautiful black girl."

Jordan kissed Denise's temple. "She definitely is." Denise smiled, feeling euphoric. She put her arm around Jordan's waist.

"Hi, Amerie, we didn't forget about you over there." Jordan stated, waving. Amerie stared at him through big opal colored orbs. "I'm just trying to figure out how you and my Nate know each other."

Nate laughed and grabbed her hand. "He used to date my sister."

Amerie looked over at Jordan. "I thought Denise was the only girl you ever dated?"

Jordan shook his head, "There's a lot you don't know. Maybe Denise will like to sit down with you and tell you later, but right now...." He pulled Denise away from the car and toward the school. "We are missing our prom."

Denise wrapped her arms around Jordan, as Tony Braxton's famous ballad, Unbreak my heart played over the loud speakers. He laid his head on hers and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of her body close to his.

After the prom closed down, Amerie invited Jordan and Denise to go clubbing with her and Nate. Although Denise didn't feel like going, she did, just so Jordan could see what it felt like to go. When they got to a club called the Underground, they handed their I.D.'s to the doorman, who handed them back after a severe inspection. His gaze lingered over Jordan and Denise, and then he said, "Y’all better not be illegals."

Jordan shook his head. "We're eighteen man."

He sighed and allowed them entrance into the club. Destiny's Child song Jumping, Jumping was playing. Jordan glanced around, feeling an adrenaline rush like never before. He pulled Denise out on the floor, "Let's dance."

Denise stared at him amazed at first, but quickly got into the grove as they began an old song-sweet dreams- by the Rhythmic s'. Jordan seemed to like this better than the destiny's child cut, because he danced like crazy to it. The funny thing was that he didn't really have any particular way of dancing, so while he was on beat, there was no technique. Denise couldn't help but laugh.

Sometime around an hour into the clubbing, Denise took a seat. She'd been dancing for quite a while, and although Amerie and Nate showed no signs of stopping any time soon, she was exhausted. Sighing, she put a hand up to her face and watched them. Their energies seemed to fit together. She had danced with Nate and found that he actually exuded energy when he moved. She laughed at this.

"What's so funny?" Jordan came back to the table with a couple of drinks. Denise grabbed hers and sipped it. It had a sweet flavor to it. "What's this?"

"A strawberry melt. It has the lowest alcohol content in it."

Denise sipped it again. "It's really good."

You should enjoy it. It has a mixture of fruit and juice, with a five percent alcohol content."

Denise glanced at his drink, "What's in yours?"

"Mine has a higher alcohol content in it."

Denise narrowed her brows, "What do you mean higher? You have to drive me home and I want to get there in one piece."

"I know that. I'm not trying to get drunk. I'm really thirsty." He stated, looking her in the eyes.

"Jordan, I don't know."

He licked his lips, "I need a break, Denise. I need a freaking break. I'm tired."

He said this with such ferociousness, that Denise dropped the subject.

Denise laughed as they stumbled into the house. Jordan put a hand up to her mouth, "Shh, people are asleep." He half whispered, half slurred.

Denise put a hand up to her mouth, to cover another giggle. "I'm sorry. You're right."

This time, he laughed. Denise covered his mouth. "You're going to wake up my mom and step dad. They sleep underneath the stairs."

For some unknown reason, this struck her as funny. She laughed and then continued on into the house and up the stairs. When they got to the door of her bedroom, Jordan whispered, "I'll tuck you in."

Denise laughed, "I don't need you to tuck me in, I'm a big girl." She whirled around. Throwing her purse on the floor, she turned back to face him. He whispered, "Damn girl, how in the hell did you get in that dress?"

She narrowed her eyes flirtatiously, "Why?"

He answered with a sneaky grin, "Because, I want to take it off."

Denise raised her hands up in the air and wiggled her hips. "How about I take it off?"

He raised a brow. "Are you going to strip for me?"

She laughed, "That's not a bad idea."

Jordan pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and went to her bed. Sitting down on the edge, he released his lip and tried to sit up straight, but it was hard to do. He said, "Take it off."

Denise laughed and pulled the straps down. She pushed the dress down her chest, to her waist. When she got there, she wiggled her hips again. Jordan let out a loud whistle.

"Not so loud, mom's sleep."

Jordan laughed. "Ok, I'm sorry."

She pulled the dress off of her hips and down to her ankles. When she bent over, Jordan's eyes went big and his ears flushed at the tips. "Wow."

Denise giggled, "Want me to turn around?"

He said, "Yeah."

She turned around and laughed, "I can still hear the beat, Jordan. It was like..." She began humming and moving her hips. He just stared, face flushed, thinking of all the things he wanted to do to her. Finally, when she broke out into another number, he grabbed her by the waist. "Come here." He slurred. She laughed as she felt him pick her up in his arms and take her to the bed. She smiled, and grabbed a bicep, "Can I bite you?"

He laughed, and whispered, "Only if I can bite you."

Denise, feeling heavy, giggled again, "Take me now."

Jordan stopped what he was doing and laughed, "What?"

"You heard me." She stated.

He kissed her lips, "how about if I kiss you?"

"That would work too, but why is it that every-time we have sex, you feel the need to kiss me? Can't you just screw me sometimes?"

Jordan laughed "No."

"Why not?" She whispered.

"Because this is my best way to express how much I love you."

Despite the intoxication, Denise's heart melted, "Aw, baby. Shouldn't we call it making love then? That's what people do when they make love."

Jordan laughed, "Yeah. I suppose." He whispered, "You want me to show you how much I love you, Denise. How much I want you and need you in my life?"

She whispered, "Why do you always have a way of saying the sweetest things?"

Jordan laughed,"Because they come from my heart. I'm going to show you just how much love I have for you."

With that, he moved his body lower, taking her foot in his hand. He placed delicate kisses on her feet. She whispered, "How do you learn this stuff?"

He whispered, "Sometimes I see them on tape, other times read about them in books, but this is a pure act of my imagination."

Denise giggled when she felt his mouth cover her toes. "It's a good thing I took a shower." She stated. He kissed them and then went to her ankle. He kissed that one and then did the other one the same way. He worked his way up her body, using his tongue and his mouth, all the while listening to her reactions. When he got to her underwear, she whispered, "This is one of my favorite parts."

He looked up at her, "is it?"

"Yes, the way you move your tongue is unbelievable."

He said, "Move your hips up, babe."

She said, "No. Rip them off."

He laughed at this, "What?"

"You heard me."

Jordan stared at her underwear, "They look pretty expensive."

Denise growled. "Rip them off."

Jordan raised both brows, "You sure are aggressive when you're drunk."

Denise laughed, "I'm not drunk."

"Denise, you could barely make it up the stairs."

"Jordan, either rip the panties off, or I'll do it." She spoke, eager to get his tongue to working on her body.

Jordan used a little of his strength to rip them at the sides. He grabbed her thigh and bit into it. Applying a medium pressure. She sighed, "Much better."

He grabbed the other and did the same. Denise felt her nipples erect. And she spoke her pleasure through a moan. He made his way up to her center, loving the way she tasted, felt, and smelled. When she finally reached a climax, he felt himself reach one. But instead of draining him, this turned him on even more, leaving him solid and achy. Pulling her body down to his, he whispered, "Denise?"

She said, "Jordan...That was great, baby."

He could tell she was ready to dose off, so he grabbed her legs, pushed them open and watched her eyes open as he slid into her. Tightly, her insides wrapped around him. He swallowed and went in deeper, till he completely filled her. He started out slow, but when that didn't work to liven her up, he pushed in faster. She started to moan, He grabbed her legs, pulled them up a bit and pushed hard into her. Her eyes flew open. He moved into her again, at the same pace. After doing this for a while, he felt her juices begin to flow. He continued on. It wasn't long after that, when her body did an arch and she moaned loudly, she began to meet his thrusts until they both were brought to a climax. She grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into her. Her legs secured tightly around his waist.

"It's really hot." She whispered.

That's when he remembered to use a condom.

five weeks later

Diary,

I have a question, how long does it take a girl to figure out she's pregnant? I figure it must not be that long, because I can barely stand the smell of food when it's cooking. I feel like I'm always doped up on something. The other day, Vanessa had to come in my room and wake me up, because I didn't wake up on my own. My breasts are really sore, and to top it all off, I'm horny all of the time. I don't think there's been a night where Jordan and I haven't had sex this week. It's like I want it all the time. I mean I was horny before, but now, it lasts for hours and hours. I think even he's getting tired of sex. He stopped suggesting that we do anything of that nature. Last night I went over to his house to check on his mother, to see how she was doing, and well...she's almost ready to go I must say. Well, that's all for now,

De-De.

 

May 12, 2000

two days later:

Denise's eyes flickered close and then open, and then closed a final time. She groaned, wishing it all would end. She was so nauseous, that she couldn't even move. It was too much for her to take in all at once. Now, she lay in bed thinking of all the ways her mother would kill her once she found out.

She groaned and turned over onto her side. As she did this, the fluids in her stomach shifted and she felt the queasiness creep up her throat. Activating the gag reflex. As this happened, Victoria came into the room, and said in a loud obnoxious way, "Mom said get your butt up right..." Vicki's speech trailed off as she watched Denise puke up an empty stomach.

Grabbing her nose, Vicki gasped, "Oh, my God, that's the worse....Mom!!!!!"

Denise was too out of it to keep her silent. Besides, she felt acid swirl around in her stomach, creating even more of a gag reflex. Again, acid contents spewed forth and she retched her stomach of it's acids. As she stared at the floor, she watched as yellow acid filled the thick saliva it swirled in. Just looking at it made her throw up again.

By this time, Vicki had stopped screaming and was staring in mortification at her. "You're pregnant."

Just as she said this, Mrs. Richards came into the room, looking frantically around, till her eyes fell upon Denise. "Are you ok, baby?"

Denise gaze stayed on Victoria, begging her not to say anything. Her sister sighed and said, "I think she needs a doctor mom, she's throwing up." This was when Mrs. Richards glanced down at the liquid in front of her daughter's bed. Making a nasty face, she put her hand up to her mouth, "Denise...no school for you today." She pushed her daughter back on the bed. Denise felt as if her insides were being turned outside.

"I think you should call Dr. Cooper mom. She's too sick to make it to the hospital."

Mrs. Richards turned to Victoria. "It's probably just the stomach flu. I can get that taken care of."

Victoria stared at Denise, and then her gaze went back to her mother, "Are you sure about that?"

Mrs. Richards smiled, "Yeah, now, hop your butt to school. I'll stay with her."

Victoria cleared her throat, "uh..." She hesitated, wanting to say something, but knew it wasn't her place. Looking at Denise one last time, she said, "I hope you feel better." Off she left for school.

Two days later and Denise still couldn't eat or drink anything. Not even water. She just continued to vomit. So, out of pleading by her family, and admittance that her oldest daughter did not have the stomach flu, Renee Richards reluctantly called Dr. Cooper for a check up. When asked why she couldn't be brought in, Renee explained to him her daughter's symptoms. That's when it dawned on her what was wrong. Denise was sick, yes, but not because of the stomach flu.

Chapter Fifty Four

Chapter Fifty Four : A baby

 

 

Denise stopped outside her mom's room two days after Dr. Cooper's visit and stuck her head in. "Hey mom."

Mrs. Richards turned to face her daughter, "Are you ready to talk?" She'd been putting her brief case inside the closet, having just gotten off of work.

"Yes." Denise whispered, standing outside her door.

"Come in and close the door."

Denise obeyed and came in. She closed the door behind her. She took a seat on the bed, next to her mother.

"Mom..." She began. She didn't know how to address what she'd been told by her parents. The news still was hard for her to accept. Though she loved Jordan, she wasn't ready for a child.

"You did use protection, right?"

Denise nodded, "Yes." Which was partially true. She'd used protection up till prom night.

"So, the condom broke?" Mrs. Richards raised both brows in hope. She'd at-least be able to accept that idea. Anything else was beyond redemption.

Denise broke out into a smile, "Of course mom.” The answer was obvious in just those three words. It hadn't. Mrs. Richards nodded her head, "So, you and Jordan used protection every time?"

Denise sighed, "Most of the time."

Mrs. Richards nodded, "I can't believe I'm going to be a grandmother."

Denise just stared. She couldn't believe she was going to be a mother. She turned her gaze to the mirror and stared, wondering how Jordan would feel about becoming a father.

Three days later:

Jordan stared out over the lake, pushing his fingers through his hair. Last night, his mother had stopped talking. She'd been in the middle of a slurred sentence, when her voice faded out. He swallowed, his heart aching. He had to find something to get past this. He needed something. Anything would do. He was set to graduate in a month.

He didn't believe his mother would last past this fall. At the rate that she was deteriorating. It was impossible. He sat on the dock, watching ducks land in the water. Inhaling sharply, he put his hands in his head. What to do? He'd had his hands in his face thinking, for about ten minutes, when he heard soft footsteps further up the doc. Looking back, he discovered Denise making her way toward him. Quickly a soft smile came over him. She came to where he was and slid in next to him. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her temple.

"Hey, De-De."

She sighed, "Hey, Jordan."

Jordan watched as her feet began to copy the same motions his were doing, swinging back and forth along the dock.

They sat silent for a minute, him thinking of his mom, her thinking of the baby. She wondered how he would take it. She hoped he wouldn't just bail out. That would be too much for her to swallow. He said he'd loved her, right? So, surely he would love their child. Closing her eyes, she listened to the sounds of the bay.

After ten minutes of silence, she closed her eyes tightly, exhaled sharply and whispered his name.

He turned his head to face her. "Yeah?"

She glanced over at him. "I love you so much."

He smiled, "I know. I love you, too."

Denise slid a little bit closer to him, "I love you, alot, and..."

Jordan watched as tears welled up in her eyes. He reached up and wiped them with his thumb. He watched her swallow and take another deep breath. "And...I...I..." Jordan stood up and pulled her up with him. Wrapping her in a hug, he placed a kiss in her hair.

"I...don't want to loose you," She whispered.

He closed his eyes, inhaling the lilac perfume he'd come to love so much over the years. He held onto her tightly. "I'm not going anywhere, Denise."

She held onto him tightly, the tears coming harder, racking her body. Jordan furrowed his brows, sensing something else was wrong. "Denise, what's wrong, baby?"

She gasped in between tears. "I...I..."

Jordan ran both hands through her hair, pulling her face up. Temporarily he forgot about his mother. "Baby, what's wrong? Did something happen to you?" He whispered, his eyes darting over her face in frantic motions.

Denise inhaled a deep breath, and exhaled. "Remember that day I was absent from school about two weeks ago?"

He licked his lips, "Yeah."

"Well..." She swallowed again and then closed her eyes, opening them, she whispered in a trembling voice, "I'm pregnant."

Jordan felt every bone in his body stiffen up. Did she just say what he thought she did? As if confirming, she whispered this again, disbelief in her tone. "I'm pregnant."

For a good five minutes, both were silent. He adjusting to the news, her seeming to accept it.

"You're pregnant?" He inquired, his eyes focusing on her again.

Denise let out a small tight laugh, "Yeah."

"I'm going to be a dad?"

 

That night, Jordan got home in a daze. He and Denise had talked till sundown at the pier, going over the details she'd been given on the day after she'd awoken from slumber. They also talked about how far along she was. She'd had her first appointment the previous week, finding out that she was six weeks. Six weeks and two days, to be exact. They also talked about what it meant for both of them to have a child. She wasn't too thrilled, neither was he, he had set his sights on going to Hampton University come fall, but now it looked as if he'd have to find something else to do.

As soon as he walked into the house, Patricia, her day nurse, greeted him with a smile, "Hi, Jordan."

He smiled back. "Hi, Trish. How's mom doing?"

Patricia turned off the television, stood up and began to gather her things. "She's doing well."

He nodded his head grimly. "Yeah." His tone was soft. "That's good."

Patricia had been sent over from a hospice center in Richmond. She had been recommended by Dr. - last week, when Jordan had finally admitted that he could no longer keep eye on her all the time. She was a girl with honey blonde hair, beautiful brown eyes and a soul to match. Just like his mother, all she talked about was Jesus. Putting a hand on his shoulder, she said, "Jordan, God's got this in his hands, ok? When your mother does pass away, she'll be with the Lord. That's something you should find comfort in. Jesus can always go the distances we can't."

Jordan nodded, not wanting to offend her by telling his ideas, but be cordial. She glanced at him, a look of sadness on her face. "Pray, Jordan. Ask Jesus to help you through this, because you're not going to get through this without his help. Ask him." With that, she exhaled softly and then exited the house. The quiet momentarily loud with the closing of the front door.

He closed his eyes, his mind drawn back to the day's developments. He was really going to be a father.

As he thought things over, he knew he wanted to tell his mother. Of course she wouldn't say anything back, but he knew she deserved to know about her grandchild. He didn't believe just because her body had began to shut down, her brain was shut down too. As long as she had breath in her body, her brain was still functioning. Plus, she still had the use of her eyes, although he didn't know whether she could see or not. He hoped her hearing was in tact.

He paused outside her door, nervous, gathering strength. Once he had, he opened the door, went inside and walked up to her bed. Pulling a chair up to it, he watched as she lay, her lashes fanning her cheeks in thick was the only hair she had left on her face. Even her eyebrows had gone. He stroked one of her pale cheeks. They had long since lost their glow. He sighed, "Hi mom."

There was no response. He stroked her head, and whispered, "I have something to tell you." He continued to stroke her forehead, chin, cheeks, nose, "I don't want you to be mad," He whispered. "Because I know you've never believed in sex before marriage and all that stuff, but I figure since you're leaving, I may as well tell you." He attempted a laugh, "That way I can't be murdered."

Silence filled the room for a moment, leaving him to deliver his message, "Denise is pregnant." His mother's eyes flew open, and she stared at him. Her eyes held both surprise and pleasure at the news.

He laughed, "You're not mad?"

There was a blink. He laughed, "One blink for yes, two for no."

She blinked once. He laughed again, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it, but you said so in your letter that you'd seen us have kids."

She blinked once. He licked his lips. "I love you mom."

If there was any point where she would've smiled, he imagined it would've been in that moment.

"I'm going to be a dad." He whispered, wiping a tear from his own cheek. She blinked once.

"I love her mom. I'll try to do good by her."

She blinked again.

Suddenly a thought formed in his head, "Would you mind if I had her come stay with us?"

There was two blinks.

"Is that a yes or no?" He whispered.

There was one blink.

”“So, you don't mind?"

There was two blinks. He leaned over and kissed her cheek, "I love you mom."

There was one blink.

He whispered, "You are going to be a grandmother."

There was one blink.

By the time Graduation day rolled around, Jordan still hadn't asked Denise to move in yet. He wanted to, but didn't exactly know how to do that.

As he got ready that morning, he gazed around the hallways he'd frequented, knowing that this would be the last time he'd walk through again. He smiled, perfectly content to do just that. Although he'd been given a Maroon and White cap and gown, he had yet to put it on. He continued on walking, ducking into every class-room on the way to home room. He cleared his throat, a smile forming on his face. He'd had some great times in this place. The pep rally's for one, were off the hook. Better than brown's. He laughed, and stopped just outside the door. After this, then what? Inhaling sharply, he was reminded of Denise and the baby, his baby she was carrying. He was going to have a child in seven and a half months.

"Hey, Jordan."

He turned around and greeted Denise as she approached him. Wrapping her in a hug, he kissed her forehead. "Hey, De-De." Looking down at her, he said, "Let's go somewhere and talk."

Denise looked around the vacant halls. "There's no one here, Jordan." She whispered.

"I know, but we still have twenty more minutes before homeroom start."

Denise shrugged, "Ok." He sighed and grasped her hand in his. Together, they walked into the library. The Librarian looked up at them, greeted Denise. "Hi, Denise, how are you today?"

Denise smiled back, "I'm good Mrs. Ericks. How about you?" Mrs. Ericks was a petite woman, with ash blonde hair that was in beautiful curls around her head. She was a beautiful woman. She often told Denise that they were alot alike, because they had kindred spirits. Denise had smiled the first time she'd told her and asked her to explain. Mrs. Ericks had told her that anytime two spirits could stand side by side and not fight with one another, they had kindred spirits. It was that familiarity. That's what she told her. That familiarity among spirits always brought contentment. Denise had laughed and agreed with Mrs. Ericks.

"I'm good as well. Are you excited about graduating?" The librarian stated, her tone pleasant.

Denise smiled, "Yes ma'am, feels like I been waiting forever."

"Yes, when you do, make sure you come back to visit, alright?"

Denise nodded, "Yes ma'am, I will."

The Librarian glanced back down at whatever project she was doing. Jordan led Denise to a table in the back, away from the librarian. They didn't have to hide from prying eyes, because there weren't any. Sighing, Jordan took a seat at one of the tables. Denise followed suit.

"I can't believe I'll never sit in here again." She whispered, running her hands along the table.

"I'm grateful for that one." Jordan laughed, a twinkle in his eye.

Denise smiled, "Hmmn."

Jordan sighed, "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. Doing good." Instinctively, her hand went to her stomach.

"That's good. And the baby?" Denise nodded, "He's good too."

"He?"

"Yes, it's a boy."

Jordan narrowed his eyes, "How do you know?"

"Because I dreamed it."

Jordan lifted a conspicuous brow. Now she sounded like his mother. "You dreamed it?"

"Yes, I had a dream the baby was wrapped up in a blue blanket and you were cooing at it."

Jordan laughed, "A boy?" He didn't know what to make of it.

"Anyway, we only have ten minutes to get to class. What's up, Jordan?" She inquired, anxiety evident on her face.

"Well..." Jordan began, took a deep breath, and whispered, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to, but I would like to be able to keep an eye on you and the baby. You know? Just because I want both of you to be healthy, well provided for and I know your parents can do that, but.." He licked his lips nervously, looked up at her, "I feel like that's my responsibility now, since we have a child together and everything."

Denise furrowed her brows. "You feel like it's your responsibility?"

"Yes, I want you to be with me. Both of you."

Denise laughed, "You want us to come and stay with you?"

Jordan nodded, "Yeah, that's it."

Denise swallowed, "What about your mom?"

"I asked her, she gave me a blink." His words were rushed.

"A blink?"

"Yeah. She give me blinks now. One for yes, two for no."

Denise nodded, "Oh, really? Was she happy about me being pregnant?"

”“No, but she is happy about being a grandmother."

Denise smiled, "At-least she'll get to meet him before she pass on."

Jordan nodded, "Yeah."

Denise grabbed his hand and ran her fingers along his, "I wonder what my parents will say."

He watched, transfixed. "We don't have to tell them right away."

Denise laughed, "I don't plan on it, let's give it a month or two, first."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter: Fifty Five

 

The Graduation Ceremony was held in a high-school located on the ritzy side of town, where Sebrea's family lived. Although it wasn't in the same neighborhood, the school was big enough to hold the sixty seniors.

Tiger Hill's graduating class of 2000, all took a bus, mandatory by the school, to Camel Back High School. Jordan was glad that Sebrea had graduated last year and was now attending some College back in Paris, France. Jordan sighed, staring out the window of the bus, as they turned on the hillside, toward the school. He didn't understand why they couldn't do the ceremony at their own school They didn't need to go to Camel Back High-school, just because it was fancier. Whoever came up with this bright idea had to have been foreign to South Hampton. It wasn't like their school was poor. It was a middle class school, so they had all the necessities. Sighing, he watched as they made a left turn onto a country road.

Denise gasped as soon as they saw the property aligning the gated area. She didn't know schools had cast Iron gates. She stared up at a big building the size of a cathedral. Tall glass doors with the words Camel Back High School scrawled across in cursive handwriting greeted the students as they began their ascension up the campus.

"Oh, my goodness, this is beautiful." A girl whispered behind her as she too took in the opulence surrounding the campus. It looked more like a campus for college students than for high-schoolers.

"Why can't we have the graduation at our own school. Why we gotta have it here?"

A teacher, who was herding the pack answered further up the path. "Because they offered to allow us do it. Why not? You guys will be the first of many students to graduate inside Camel-back high-school."

Jordan made his way up the hill, past the iron gates, and closer to where Denise was. He was no longer worried about the school. He wanted to make sure she was alright, he didn't want anything to happen to the baby. Slipping in front of two more students, he stepped up beside her. She glanced over at him with rounded eyes, "Where did you come from? I thought you were in back?"

"I wanted to make sure you were alright, that's all."

Denise sighed, "I'm fine. We're supposed to be in alphabetical order."

"I know, and I'll get back there, as soon as I make sure that you're alright," He whispered, not wanting everyone to hear their conversation. Many of the students had already started conversations with their classmates.

"And the baby?" He whispered.

Denise smiled, grateful that he cared. Touching her stomach, she whispered, "he's fine. Ever since I found out about him, I started reading all those books you know, the expecting ones.”

Jordan smiled, "Really?"

"Yes. One said the baby's safer in the womb of mother than anywhere else at this stage. He's got lots of padding."

Jordan licked his lips, glancing down at her stomach, "How do you know it's a boy?"

Denise sighed, "Because, I had a dream that it was a boy."

Jordan grinned, teasing her. "Watch it turn out to be a girl."

Denise rolled her eyes, "Whatever. I was reading up on baby names the other day, and I came across the name Nicholas. What do you think about that? Nicholas Williams?”

Jordan tried the name out on his tongue, "Nicholas..." He'd wanted to name the baby after his father.

"Can we put Patrick in there?"

Denise smiled, "Nicholas Patrick Williams."

Jordan grasped her hand in his as they reached the doors of the school. "That's a mouth full."

Denise sighed, "Yeah, it is."

Denise had never been to a graduating ceremony before, but she found hers to be the most boring thing in all of her life. What they'd done was, set up the chairs in the gymnasium. The school principal got up and presented the graduating class with a twenty minute commencement, that felt more like an hour, and then called in the class to come sit at their chairs. They'd made sure everyone was in their perspective places before then. They then called up the Valedictorian, who gave another long ass boring speech. Afterwards, the students who had the highest G.P.A.'s outside of the valedictorian, who's grades were above a three point zero, her and Jordan both were among them, were awarded with ribbons, and then followed by the delivering of diplomas, starting with last names from z to a.

Over all, the ceremony itself lasted a good hour. Denise glanced down at her plaque, happy but at the same time not as thrilled as she should have been. She was no longer in high-school. She sighed, and cradled it in her arms. Going to the bathroom, she sat in one of the stalls on the toilet seat staring at the plaque. What was the use of her getting this? Her life wouldn't go any further than high-school anyway, not with a baby. Sighing, she thought about maybe getting an abortion. She was still in the early phase. No. She couldn't. She'd already told the father and given the baby a name. Now, she had to have him. Maybe she could give him up for adoption. There were always families that were willing to take newborns. Closing her eyes, she whispered, "I'm sorry, Nicholas, but I don't know if I can do this. Take care of you. Give up my education. I've always wanted to go to NYU. I've had my heart set on it." Rubbing her stomach, she talked to him some more, "Would you mind if I gave you up to good parents? I know your dad said he would help, but I don't know for how long. My parents divorced when I was three. Mom raised me by herself till I was seven. For years she was a single mom, working, going to school, doing everything."

Denise didn't know how long she sat in that bathroom talking to the baby, but by the time she came out, Jordan was no where to be seen. As a matter of fact, only a trickle of people were left. Going up to a young lady who looked to be in her twenties, Denise interrupted the conversation she was having with an older lady. "Excuse me, miss."

The young lady turned around, her caramel complexion complemented by honey colored eyes, ”“Yes?"

"I'm looking for the students from Tiger Hill High-school."

The lady cleared her throat, "They left about twenty minutes ago.”

Denise's eyes widened, "What?"

"Were you with them?" The young woman asked alarmed.

Denise nodded, feeling anxious.

"Ok, come on, I'll give you a ride to where you need to go."

Denise raised both brows, "That's ok, I can call someone to come and get me."

The lady smiled, "Are you sure, sweetie? I live on that side of town, I don't mind dropping you off where you need to go."

Denise exhaled frustrated, "Do you have a phone, ma'am?"

The lady reached into the purse hanging at her side. After a few minutes later, she pulled out a cell phone, handing it to Denise. Denise quickly keyed in Jordan's number. After a third ring, he picked up. "Hello?"

"Jordan?"

"Where in the world are you?" He whispered, his tone surprisingly even.

"I'm still at the school."

"At the school? Denise, we're entering South Hampton right now."

"Why didn't you tell them I was missing."

"I didn't realize you were missing till we got going."

"Jordan, there's sixty three people on that bus, how could you guys not notice I wasn't there?"

"Don't get smart with me. You were the one who should have been out there. Anyway, they called us on the speakers. I don't know how you missed that bus."

"I didn't hear any announcements, I was in the bathroom." She hissed, irritated. She really hadn't heard a buzzer or anything.

Jordan sighed frustrated, "I'll come get you as soon as we get to the school. Stay there."

Rolling her eyes, Denise sighed and snapped the phone shut. Turning back to the woman, she handed her the phone.

"Thank-you." She stated.

"Is everything alright?" The woman asked a look of concern on her face.

"Yes, it's fine. My boyfriend's going to come and get me as soon as they reach the school."

"Ok." The woman nodded. "I know how it can be missing those bells. I tell them they need to get a knew system going. Making the bells loud, but they always want to accommodate the students. These students are already rich and spoiled at home, they don't need it here too."

Denise smiled.

"I'm Phyllis Porter, the principal here."

"Nice to meet you, Ms. Porter." Denise shook the extended hand. The principal laughed, and said, "Call me Phyllis. You're not a student here, and honestly, I'm not much older than you."

Denise raised a brow, ”“Really?"

"Oh, about ten years older at the most."

Denise nodded her head, "Oh."

Just then, the "loud speaker", which wasn't so loud, dinged, and Denise laughed, "Wow!" Then she heard a voice over the speakers, "Principal Porter, you're needed in the office immediately."

Phyllis laughed along with her, "They have this place mapped out like it's a hotel, not a school."

Denise smiled, "Well, it was nice meeting you Ms. Porter."

"Please call me Phyllis."

Denise sighed, "Phyllis."

The lady smiled and dismissed herself. Denise watched as she made her way down the hallway.

Jordan held the door open for Denise, waited for her to get into the vehicle, and then went on his side of the car. Putting on his seat belt, he waited for Denise to fasten hers, and then shifted the gear into drive.

"How did you manage to get lost?"

"I was in the bathroom." Denise stated, her tone flat.

"For how long?"

"I'm not sure." Denise sighed, turning her head to the window.

Jordan glanced over at her for a brief moment and then made a left out of the sloping driveway. "Why are you getting an attitude?"

When she turned her gaze back to him, her eyes were hot with anger. He raised a brow in question, but flickered on the radio. When he turned it to her favorite station, instead of creating a bounce in her, the music severely irritated her. She let out a frustrated, uh! and twisted the knob off. She settled back in her seat, feeling uncomfortable. She couldn't believe he'd left her at the school.

"Denise, are you ok?" Jordan inquired, his tone soft.

"Don't talk to me right now.” She snapped, her focus on what was outside the window.

Jordan narrowed his eyes, "What is your problem?"

Just hearing him caused her to feel the sharp irritation of sound in her ear. "You are my problem!" She exploded.

He stopped at a red light right before the freeway. Turning to her, he stared his eyes huge. "What? I didn't do anything to you."

"It's your fault I was left at the school!" She yelled.

Jordan clenched the steering wheel. "How is it my fault?"

"You should have came and got me out of the bathroom."

Jordan shook his head with a laugh, "I didn't know you were in the bathroom. Why are you still yelling at me?"

Denise stared up at him, "I don't want to talk to you." She crossed her arms over each other and turned back to face the window.

Jordan sighed, "This is interesting." He mumbled.

"Why are you mumbling?"

Instead of answering, he ignored her. There were some things not worth even a breath of explanation, and that was one of them.

Denise was tired and cranky when she entered the house. Jordan came in after her. He watched her go upstairs to her room without so much as a backward glance. He waved to her from behind.

"Poor unfortunate boy."

Jordan turned toward the voice. Mr. Richards sat in the recliner nearest the television, facing away from the living room window. "Hi, Mr. Richards."

"You may as well call me Garrette now, Jordan."

Jordan shrugged his shoulders, "Ok."

Mr. Richards sighed, "Most women get cranky during like their fourth and fifth months, but apparently, you're going to get everything at once."

Jordan narrowed his eyes, "What?"

"She's going to be like that for quite a while, Jordan. Quite a while."

Jordan sighed, "I still love her."

Mr. Richards let out a deep chuckle from where he was seated. "We'll see if you still feel like that in a couple of months."

Three months later:

"It's freaking hot in here. Why isn't the air conditioning working?" Denise inquired, a scowl on her face. Jordan took a deep swig of his coffee. He could really use a little peace and quiet time.

"It's already set at sixty five, Denise." He stated from his chair across the table. Denise had her hands over her belly, rubbing it. She'd gotten to the size of a cantaloupe since her first month. She seemed to do that quite a bit. Jordan, who'd gotten a job at a Marriott Hotel in Richmond, as a front desk assistant, worked more than forty hours a week and often times came home exhausted, wanting peace. Like now, he was so exhausted, that his back ached.

"It feels extremely hot in here." She responded, looking at him with that forever etched scowl.

"Don't you ever smile anymore?" He questioned.

"Of course I smile." She hissed.

He narrowed his brows, "Well, why don't you ever smile at me anymore?"

"Because every time I start too, I'm reminded that all this Nausea, the hot flashes, the aching back, the abnormal stretching of my stomach is all because of you. Every single day it feels like I'm going through a beating none stop. Everyday that this baby grows, I'm reminded that it was you who gave me that first strawberry melt."

Jordan frowned, "I didn't intend to get you drunk. That was your own doing. I just wanted to quench your thirst."

Denise gave a tight smile, "Well, you succeeded. Look at me now." She motioned to her belly.

Jordan inhaled sharply. "You didn't have to have sex with me that night. You could have said no."

"And you should have worn a condom."

Jordan stood up from his seat, "Why am I getting blamed for this? You had your part in it too? Don't you think I'm going through a lot too? Don't you think I come home everyday after twelve hour shifts at the Marriott with an aching back, deathly tired and irritated too? Everyday I have to come home and listen to you bitch and moan about how it's my fault that this happened. Well, you know what Denise..." He stepped closer to her, narrowed his eyes and pointed, "It's your fault too. You agreed to have sex with me that night, you agreed to everything, because you didn't object." He paused to catch his breath. Then continue on, "Honestly, I don't want a baby. I never did want a baby. I had other things I could do, places I could be, but I put all of that on hold for the baby. I'm supposed to be going off to Hampton during the fall, but I can't go now, because I have to sit around and take care of you and a baby. How fair do you think that is? So, when you stand here telling me everyday that this is all my fault, think again. I didn't make that baby by myself."

Denise felt her heart pump with anger, the bitterness, tension she'd been feeling for three months spilled over, "I wanted to go to N.Y.U. I wanted to work in the state museum as a historian. I wanted to do a lot of things, but..." To her surprise, tears welled up in her eyes and fell down her cheeks. She swiped them away, "I have this stupid baby inside of me and all he does is stretch everything, all of me and sleep. I hate it. I wish I'd never gotten pregnant. I wish I'd never had sex with you!" She turned around and made her way up the stairs, to the guest bedroom. She would sleep in there. She didn't want to sleep with him.

Jordan sat at the table, staring down into his coffee. He didn't know what to do, what to say. Realistically, he had told the truth. He didn't want a baby. Not right now. A sigh came from his lips...but what could he do. He had to take care of them. It was what he was taught.

 

Chapter Fifty Five:

apologies

"Here's the feet." Dr. Price stated, displaying the baby's feet just below her rib cage. Jordan glanced up at the screen as the ultrasound showed the black and white picture of the baby.

"What's its sex?" Denise inquired, inclining her head to see the monitor.

"A boy."

Jordan glanced back at her. She smiled, "I told you."

Jordan turned his attention back to the monitor. He watched as the doctor closed in on the sex of the baby and smiled at him, "You're going to be the father of a baby boy."

"Yeah, I am." Jordan smiled back.

Denise sighed softly, remembering the words he'd spoken just two weeks ago. After that day, they'd talked, but not about what they'd said. The conversations of late were short and choppy. The doctor switched off the ultrasound machine, and grabbed some paper towels to clean off the stick.

"Well, Denise, your baby's a pretty happy little boy. He's about six months along and will be here any day come January."

Denise sighed, "January fifth."

"Yep, and I will be there." Dr. Price stated, as he left the room.

"Me too," Jordan replied. Denise looked over at him and smiled as she climbed down off the hospital bed. He smiled back. The sparkle in his eyes was really dull. This caused her to turn her head away quickly and get her clothes from the chair.

She watched as he turned his back when she put her clothes on. For some unknown reason, this made her feel less attractive. She pulled the pants up her legs and over her belly.

"Can you believe he'll be here in three months?" She stated while pulling her long sleeved shirt over her head.

Jordan nodded his head without replying.

Denise grabbed her shoes and put them on her feet. He had been doing that for quite awhile. Answering without saying anything. She stood up. "I'm finished now."

He turned around, "Ok." With that, he walked to the door, holding it for her as she walked out. When they were completely out of the clinic, he opened her door for her and waited for her to get in. When she did, he asked if she was hungry. When she said yes, he asked what was she in the mood for, she said Chinese. They didn't speak much on the way to the restaurant or on the way back to the house. Even the radio couldn't muffle out the loud silence.

Jordan exhaled softly, kissing his mother on the cheek. He could tell she was even closer to death, because the room reeked of it. She had to go to the bathroom using an catheter, because she couldn't get out of bed anymore. Usually Kathy was there to do the work, but Kathy was off now, which left him to do it. The only time he'd left her alone was when he and Denise had went for another ultra sound. Somehow, they'd managed to qualify for state assistance although he made a nice amount of money. Sighing, he whispered, "The baby's a boy mom. Isn't that great?" She didn't blink anymore, her body was almost complete in it's transition. Dr. Brooke had said that she'd have anywhere from a month to two months before she left this world. Jordan was trying to spend as much time as possible with her, just so he could make sure that she would not be alone.

He didn't want her to die alone. Feeling the tightness in his chest, he whispered, "Yeah, I'm really excited you know. I wasn't ready at first, because I didn't want to give up that scholarship, but honestly, now I don't care. The more I see that baby growing, the less I care about Hampton. I just want to take care of Denise, make sure she have that baby..." He swallowed hard, trying to defeat the lump that was rising. He even blinked to keep his own tears at bay, but it didn't work. They trickled down his cheek anyway. He opened his mouth to say something else, but his voice cracked, "c..can you hear me?" He whispered, the ache real in his throat. There was no answer. He whispered, "I love you mom, I love you so much, that I can't..."

He paused, wiped his eyes and inhaled a deep breath, trying to hold in the tears. She was going to go any day now. His mother, his flesh and blood was going to go any day now. Unable to hold back, he leaned over her and released the pain in his heart.

The problem with this house, Denise decided, was that she could hear everything through the paper thin walls. Including Jordan crying. She could tell that he was at the end of his rope. She felt like a failure. His mother had told her to take care of him and she'd done none of that. She'd managed to screw up his life and make it even more complex by becoming more of a burden herself. She didn't want this. She didn't want him to suffer the way he was. Sighing, she stared at the closet. She could always go back to her mom's and stay there. Her mom wouldn't mind letting her have the baby there. Besides, she hated being anywhere she wasn't wanted or needed. Inhaling sharply, she released her pent up breath and reached into the closet. Pulling article after article off its hanger, she folded it and put it in her suitcase.

Jordan closed the door behind him after exiting his mother room. Having released those tears helped him a lot. Going to the stairs, he was about to go down them, when something told him to go check on Denise. Turning back around, he went to the door of the room she'd taken as her own and stopped outside it. Both a shock and fear took over. She was emptying her things out of the drawers, after having taken the clothes out of the closet. He cleared his throat. She glanced up at him. "Hi," she whispered.

He put his arms across his chest. "Where are you going, Denise?"

She pushed her jeans down into the suitcase, "I'm going home to have the baby."

"Why?"

Denise inhaled, "Because, I'm not going to stay with a man who doesn't want me or the baby, that's why."

Jordan licked his lips, "I do want you and the baby."

"No, you don't Jordan, you made that clear four months ago and silly me, I stayed. Why? It's beyond my comprehension."

Jordan walked up to her, grabbed the suitcase and pulled it from her hands. "Please, stay."

When his eyes went to hers, Denise felt that familiar ache inside. He swallowed, "I love you and the baby, Denise. I'm sorry for everything I said. At the time, I meant it, but it's not what I want now."

Denise exhaled, "You're just saying that."

He shook his head no. "I mean it. I still love you, Denise."

Denise grasped her hands into knots. "Even if I am getting fat?"

Jordan raised a brow. "What?"

"I'm getting fat, Jordan."

Jordan grabbed her hand, "You're not getting fat." He grabbed her and pulled her close. Wrapping her in his arms, he said, "You may have put on a few pounds, but fat is not what you are." He took Denise to the door in the bedroom and pushed it close. The mirror attached to the back showed their reflection. Jordan standing above her. He whispered, "Look at you. You're beautiful."

Denise stared at her face, and then went down to her thighs, calves and feet, which looked like they'd grown a size.

"I'm fat, Jordan." She turned away from the mirror and stared at a side wall. "I look like porky pig."

Jordan smiled, "No you don't, De-De."

Denise nodded, "Yes, I do. I'm fat and gross looking."

Jordan shook his head no. "You look sexy. Fuller than what you were last year, but that's what to expect."

"Jordan, I'm a size ten." Denise objected.

"Well, it looks good on you. Look at those beautiful legs girl, they look better now than they did before."

Denise pulled away from him, "I don't need you to patronize me, Jordan. I look fat, sloppy, overweight and ugly."

He caught her hand and pulled her back to him. Pulling her into his arms, he picked her up off her feet, "Do I have to strip you naked and give you a preview of how sexy you look right now?"

Denise half laughed, half cried. She wasn't that sexy. She was a fat blimp. Jordan took her over to the bed and then laid her down. Grabbing her shirt, he pulled it above her head. She covered her chest with her arms. He stared her in the eyes, "Don't."

She kept them there. Jordan leaned down and kissed her mouth. She kissed him back, not realizing the hunger she'd felt. His kiss was slow and sweet. When he finished, her lips were tingling sweetly. He whispered, "You're not fat. You're beautiful."

Burying his face in her neck, he placed kisses there and then further downward to the top of her chest where her arms were crossed. Grabbing them, he pulled them apart and trailed kisses over her fingers and up her arms. "You're beautiful there." His mouth trailed kisses over her breasts, which had grown a size bigger. "Definitely here."

This caused a little giggle in her. She sighed and relaxed as he kissed her breasts, each one tender in his mouth. He kissed his way down her body, displaying his affection, love and sexual interest in her.

Denise was glowing when he finished, literally. It was like her body took on a life of its own, radiant and even more beautiful. She laid in bed, his arm wrapped around both her and the baby. He was running his hands over her stomach, the baby kicking him as he did. The last time he'd done that, she'd been sitting in a chair downstairs and watching TV when the first kick came. He'd been in the kitchen, making dinner when she'd screamed for him to come in the living room. He had felt the baby kick for the first time. That was a special time for her. The twinkle in his eye let her know that he was starting to adjust. Now, with his arm wrapped around her, his head in hers, and him playing with her stomach, she was even more convinced of his words earlier.

"Jordan." She stated.

"Yes?" He whispered.

"Thank-you.”

He kissed the top of her head, "I meant what I said."

"I know you do, but it was hard to know, considering you haven't really spoken to me in the last four months."

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to make up for what I said. I was ashamed that I'd said all of that. My words came out so selfish, greedy."

"Mine too. I'm sorry."

Jordan sighed, "We should be apologizing to Nick, he's the one feeling Neglected."

Denise giggled and rubbed her stomach. "Sorry, Nicholas." As if in answer, there was a little kick in her stomach.

Chapter Fifty Six

Diary,

I'm going to go any day now, the baby's going to be here at any moment. Jordan pulled me out of the guest room and put up the baby's crib in there. Mom went out and bought all of these clothes. There's so much clothes, that I don't think he'll need any for at-least the first six months of his life. There's a car seat ready to be used in the closet, there's even diapers and wipes on the changing table. I can't believe mom actually went all out to buy this stuff for him. Vicki brought him a ton of her old stuffed animals saying that she may as well contribute to the cause. I said well, how about getting him something he could play with now? Or even one of those mobiles that they place over the crib. She's got a job now. Working as a student hairdresser over at The clientele, a hair shop off of Brinkley Avenue, Downtown. I am really proud of her, because she's doing so well. She and what's his name have been seeing one another quite often, since graduation. So, it's been a good nine months since they first started dating. I don't know how serious she is about him, but mom says she doesn't think it's too serious. Nothing like how it is with me and Jordan.

Speaking of Jordan, he's been keeping busy. He says in a way having Nicholas really does help with the pain of the fact that his mother is dying, because he gives him something to look forward to. Having the baby makes death look so it's to bring a new life into the world. I told him that that's pretty cool, because he needs something to look forward too.

Well, that's all for now,

A very overweight, pregnant teenager,

Denise~

December 30, 2000

Diary,

My mom told me the other day, that some women can feel it when they're getting ready to go into birth. It's like a natural instinct. Well, I have to say that I do agree with her, because he's about ready to come. Two days earlier, but none the less, his butt's ready for this world. The problem is, how do I deal with this? I've never been a mom. I've never held a baby, let alone changed a diaper. Yet, here I am about to have my own.

 

January 3, 2001

 

 

Sure enough, Denise was right. Later that night, after she'd written the diary entry, she awoke with sharp pains in her stomach. Jordan who was asleep next to her, his body halfway off the bed was awakened by shoves to the shoulder. After three pushes, he opened his eyes, vision a bit blurry, tone still holding its sleep and whispered in a raspy voice, "What?"

She whispered, "I think the baby's coming."

Jordan blinked, "What?"

"The baby's coming." She whispered through clenched teeth as a sharp tightening in her stomach came. Jordan's eyes widened, "The baby's coming?"

She gasped, "Yes." She tried to exhale like she'd been taught in the books, but it seemed just as she was being relieved of one contraction, another one started.

Jordan laid there as a deer caught in the headlights, staring at the agonizing expression of pain on her face. He watched as she breathed in deeply and then released again.

"Stop watching me and go get the diaper bag! We need to go!" She yelled, clenching at the bed sheets. Jordan quickly pushed his body up off the bed and went into the closet. "The baby's not due for another two days, Denise." He stated as he grabbed the diaper bag, his shoes and a coat from the closet.

There was a sudden shrill scream as she felt an even more intense pain grip her stomach in knots and shoot the pain to her back. Jordan jumped, glanced over at her and watched wide eyed as she exhaled frantic breaths, trying to subdue the contraction. "We have to go now!" She yelled, her voice forceful. Jordan ran over to her, grabbed her hand to pull her up from the bed. A big mistake, three minutes later, just as they reached the door to the kitchen, another contraction hit and she squeezed his fingers so tight, he doubled over with her from the pain. "Ow, ow, ow, damn it, Denise!" He yelled, pulling his own fingers away from hers.

Denise turned her face over to him, "You, you're in pain! You jerk! get me to the hospital right now or else I'll drive myself!" She spat out.

He stared at her horror filled, wondering if this was how women always got when they had babies.

"Now, Jordan, we don't have all day!" She gasped, as that contraction subsided and she could resume her pace. Jordan, not wanting to crash into something due to her hysterical screams on the way to the hospital, took her to the back seat and tried to buckle her in. She pushed him out of the way, "Forget the buckle!" He was about to object, when she broke out into a blood curling scream as another contraction hit. He stood there in shock, while she clenched her teeth, and tried desperately to bear the pain as this one intensified, sending a pain as sharp as a knife stabbing through her stomach. Denise's eyes watered as tears came to and she felt a burning, "Oh, God, Jordan, please, please!”

He slammed the door, went to the driver's side of the car and opened his door. Putting the key into the ignition switch, he turned over the engine. Pressing down on the gas, he waited a minute before exiting the driveway. Thankfully Denise was coming down from the last contraction. He backed out of the driveway, took a left and then continued on to the emergency room.

By the time they got there to the emergency room, Denise was panting, trying to take deep breaths, but couldn't because the pressure in her back was so severe that she couldn't even gather her thoughts. He walked up to the desk and turned to the desk clerk. "I need to check in Denise W..." He stopped himself and said, "Calloway."

The lady glanced up at him, shoving "Here's a clip board, the doctor will be right with you."

Jordan grabbed the clip board, "Ma'am my girlfriend's having a baby, and she needs a doctor really quickly."

The lady stood up and went around him. Jordan turned around and felt his brain flat line, heart beat speed up and blood rush from his head to his body in seconds. Denise lay out on the floor, not moving.

"We need a gurney a.s.a.p." The lady yelled, leaning down to check Denise's pulse.

 

 

When Denise awoke, she was startled to feel air pushing it's way into her nostrils. Startled, she gagged and pulled the mask off and exhaled deeply. She closed her eyes for a second and opened them again.

Jordan stood up and leaned into her, "Hey!" He was smiling. She narrowed her eyes, "Where's my baby?"

He sighed and grasped her hand, "He's fine, Denise. They're checking his vitals right now. The had to give you a cesarean."

"A what?" She looked about dazed and confused, not sure she'd heard correctly.

Jordan laughed softly, "Just kidding, De-De. You came to for a little while, just as the baby was crowning, so they had you push. As soon as you did that, you were out again."

"Why don't I remember any of this? What happened?"

Jordan inhaled, "Well, you collapsed because there was not enough oxygen getting to your brain."

"Oh, really?" She stated, glancing around. When was she going to get her baby?

"Yeah. Don't worry De-De, he'll be here." Jordan whispered, running his fingers over her hair. Just then, the door opened and a nurse came in wheeling an incubator with the baby in it. Attached to the incubator was a small piece of paper that listed both parents and the baby's name as well. Denise smiled as she watched the nurse lift the baby out of his incubator. Black shiny curls, a hint of tone as well as tiny toes and fingers. The nurse handed the baby to Denise, positioning him in her arms, "He's a sweet one Mrs. Williams, he's got a bit of a heart murmur, but that's normal for newborn babies." Denise stared down at baby Nicholas with a radiant smile on her face and the look of love sparkling in her eyes that bespoke of how she felt. She felt her heart swell with joy at being able to see him. Holding him to her chest, she watched as he pushed his face into her. "What's he doing?" Jordan whispered. Denise pushed open her gown just a little, to allow him to grasp a hold of a breast. She pulled him closer to her and watched as he latched on.

Jordan's eyes widened, "Oh, wow. I was told that hurt."

Denise sighed and glanced over at him, shaking her head, "So far so good, it does feel kind of odd though." Jordan watched in awe, "So, you're breast feeding?"

Denise laughed, her gaze back on the baby, "I guess so. I hadn't really thought about it."

Jordan stared at his son, a swell of pride in his chest. He was such a beautiful little boy. He stared and noticed there were streaks of red in his hair. He laughed and leaned in a little closer. Small brown freckles adorned his skin. They were so light, you could hardly tell they were there. He laughed again and sucked in a breath, "Wow." He stated, his tone light hearted.

"What?" Denise inquired, a gentle smile on her face.

Jordan glanced down at her, "He's got light brown freckles and red highlights in his hair."

Denise glanced up at him, "He's gorgeous."

 

 

Jordan lingered inside Nicholas' bedroom door and watched as he slept. Going back into his bedroom, he laid across the bed, staring up at the ceiling, his thoughts on Nicholas and all the activities they could do together when the boy got older. He couldn't believe that he, of all people was a father. A father to a two week old infant that was asleep in the next room over. He sighed, content. The idea of his mother passing away was bearable now, due to the fact that he had a son, lineage. If you could call it that. He wouldn't be so alone now. A smile crept across his face, displaying the joy that had taken place within him. He had a son. The family name would go on. Without a clear explanation of why, this thought soothed him.

 

He'd been sitting there for at-least twenty minutes, when the bathroom door opened. Pulling himself up, he observed as Denise came into the room dressed in a night gown, robe and Tasmanian slippers. A smile captured his face upon seeing her. Her hair framed her head in a halo, thick, curly and a big poof ball. She returned his smile and then went to the dresser. Opening one of the drawers, she pulled out a hair brush and a can of hair creme. He watched as she went to take a seat at his desk, in front of the mirror, setting the items next to her. He watched with curiosity as she pulled the brush through her hair, Its spikes pulling at a group of strands, detangling them. Her gaze turned to him through the mirror. He watched as ever so lightly, she pulled the brush through. After a few pulls, she set it down, opened the creme and rubbing it all over her hands, put it in her hair. She repeated this a second time and then took her fingers and massaged the creme through her hair. He steadied her, feeling a hearty warmth encompass him.

 

"Do you want to brush my hair?" She inquired, for she was still watching the expressions that came to his face. He raised a brow, not sure what his reply should be. She cleared her throat, "It doesn't hurt."

After a brief debate, he got up and went to where she was seated. He picked up the brush and pulled it through her hair. While doing this, he got an in depth look at how her hair responded. Each strand would pull out straight and then pull back together in a spiral. She watched the brush through the mirror. After several strokes, she handed him a scrunchy.

 

"Put it in a ponytail, please." Her tone was soft, emotion filled. He grabbed the scrunchy, put it on his wrist and then grabbed her hair, pulling it into his hand. Wrapping his fingers around the hair, he pulled the brush through again and then secured it tightly in a pony tail. When he did, Denise reached her hand up, adjusted the ponytail and sighed, "Thank-you."

He smiled, "You're welcome."

 

 

Mrs. Williams felt the light, before she could see it. She heard his voice telling her she was ready. It was time. She felt as if she was floating and then all of a sudden, she was sitting up. She was clothed in a white gown. He was holding her hand. He told her she didn't have to cry anymore. There was no more worries, that she would be alright. He also told her that her son would be alright, to not worry.

 

 

 

Denise pulled the covers around her. It was cold in the house. She would have to tell Jordan when he got home to go down into the basement and fix the heat. They needed to have it fixed quick. Sighing, she got up and walked into the baby's room to check on him. She had been checking in and out every hour. A smile came over her face as she thought that he probably was doing fine. He'd been doing well since they'd brought him home. There was nothing to worry about. Swallowing, she twisted the knob on the door and walked in. The carpet full and plush underneath her bare feet. Tiptoeing over to his crib, she glanced down at him with a smile on her face. "Nicky, how's it going?" Of course he wouldn't answer. He probably was asleep. Sighing, she reached down to stroke his back. His skin felt cold underneath. She picked him up, "Ahh, Nicholas, Mommy didn't know you were..." As she stared into his face, she saw blue lips, dull eyes. Panic opened up on her and she put his mouth close to her ear. There was no breath. She waited a minute to see if he would breath. There wasn't any. She picked up the phone and dialed 911.

 

Jordan ran up to the nurse's station, and was about to ask for Denise, but felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around, he watched in pain as tears fell down her eyelids. Pulling her into a tight embrace, he held her tight. As he was doing this, a man in a white hospital coat came up to them, his expression grim. Swallowing, he asked, "You must be the father of Nicholas Williams?"

Jordan nodded, "Yeah."

"We did all we could to resuscitate him, but we couldn't get a pulse." His tone was soft, gentle, almost comforting. It would have been if Jordan had heard him say he was sorry, but an inexplicable pain began in his chest. Numbing him. First his mother, now his child. He glanced down at Denise. Would she be next?

 

 

Denise walked into the house, her whole being numb. She hated coming home to a house full of silence. Jordan hadn't spoken one word to her on the way to the house. He'd taken the news of Nicholas' death well, if she might say so herself. He hadn't screamed, yelled, just went pale as a ghost. He said good bye to Nicholas, who had been left on a gurney, just so the parents could see him before an autopsy was performed. According to the doctor, his heart had quit beating between the last time Denise had gone to check on him that morning, and when she'd returned to find him cold. He'd suffered a massive heart attack and died. Denise wondered if babies could even do that. Could they have heart attacks at such a young age?

Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought of the moments she'd never get to spend with Nicholas. He'd been a week away from his first month's birthday when passing away. Tears welled up in her eyes, why him? Why not her?

Four months later:

Jordan stumbled into the house, dropping his keys by the door. He tried to close it, but after seeing that it wouldn't budge, he left it alone. Eyes bloodshot, heart pounding ferociously in his chest, he realized he needed sleep. Inhaling sharply, he wobbled around the table, walked toward the door separating the kitchen and living room, he pushed open the door. That was when he blacked out.

Denise listened to him stumble in from the bedroom upstairs. Cradling her pillow to her chest, she released the tears she'd been crying for a month now. Why did he stumble in drunk as he had for weeks now. Ever since he'd gone out with Nate on his birthday, he'd been drinking. His attention was no longer focused on her. It was else where. It was like she was invisible now that his mother and Nicholas weren't in the picture. Swallowing largely, she closed her eyes and begged God for help. Any kind of help would suffice.

Jordan's eyes opened; everything around him blurry. He couldn't tell where he was at this time, just that where ever he was, the place was ice cold. Groaning, he tried to shift positions and froze before he even moved an inch. His head was pounding, body aching. Finally his vision came into focus and he spotted a gray and white colored fabric in his face. He groaned once more, pushed up on his hands and stared around. He was in between the living room and the kitchen, the swing doors encasing his body. Swallowing, he felt the throb began in his throat. He wiped his face and turned into the kitchen, taking the back steps, hoping that Denise wouldn't spot him. He really didn't feel like talking to her now. Dragging his feet behind him, he sluggishly made his way to the linen closet.

When Denise heard the shower running, she knew he'd finally gotten up. Swallowing she buried herself deeper into her pillow, trying desperately to wipe away the pain that had stored itself into her heart.

Two days later:

Again. He'd come home the third time that week drunk. The horrible thing was that he hadn't even waited till the dusk settled before engorging in this behavior. Exhaling sharply, she grabbed the suitcase from underneath her bed. She couldn't do this, wouldn't do this anymore. She wanted-needed more room to breathe than what she was allowed here. All alone in a silent empty house with nothing but four walls to talk to? She needed more. Swallowing, she pushed up on the locks. The suitcase popped open. Grabbing clothes from the dresser, she began packing them.

Jordan must have stood outside the door watching her pack for what seemed like an hour, before she finally turned around and noticed he was there. His eyes connected with hers. Dark, void of emotion. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut a knife. She held on to the suitcase and walked toward him. He refused to move from the frame of the door.

"Move, Jordan."

He glanced down at her, crossing his arms over his chest. Defiant.

Denise's eyes flashed anger. "Move out of my way." Her tone was stern. Jordan shook his head and reached for her bag. She pulled it up to her chest, out of his reach. He stepped closer to her. "Be reasonable Denise."

Denise bit her bottom lip, irritated. "I am being reasonable. I can't stand being here with you anymore. I need to leave."

"So, you're going to desert me now?" He asked, the smell of what ever alcohol he'd been drinking on his breath.

Denise turned her head to avoid saying something nasty about its stench. "You need help Jordan."

He laughed sarcastically. "I need help? You're the one traipsing around here like everything is fine."

Denise swallowed, "I am not. I'm just sick of your bullshit."

Jordan raised a brow, "Bull shit?"

She nodded, "Yeah, you're drunk now, just as you were yesterday and the day before."

He protested with a nod. "No. I'm just buzzed."

Denise sighed, her eyes looking up into his, "I thought you were supposed to be at work?"

He laughed, his tone sort of slurred, "I got fired."

Denise shook her head, "really? Why?"

He shrugged, "Said he didn't need me anymore." He'd leaned forward to grab her bag. Denise pulled it away from him. He reached out to touch her hair. She cringed.

"I'm not attractive to you anymore?"

Denise was repulsed. She couldn't stand for him to touch her when he was drinking. He knew that. Jordan pulled his hand away. He stood there staring at her, not saying much.

She exhaled. "Jordan, I am going to my mom's. If you need anything, you can call me there." She went around him. He grabbed a hold of her bag. She stopped, glanced back at him, "Let go."

He shook his head irrefutably "I'm not letting you leave me."

Denise pulled with all her strength. "Watch me, Jordan. I'm going to walk out that door."

He licked his lips agitated, "You're not leaving me."

She felt the heat spread in her stomach first, but then go through out her rib cage, and up to her chest area. "I don't want to stay here with a bitter man."

He held the suitcase to him, "I'm not bitter, I'm grieving."

"Whatever. I just want to go home. I want to be with my family."

"I thought I was your family." He whispered softly.

Denise pulled the bag to her, "Me, too. Now let go, before you make things worse."

His green eyes went stormy. "You are not leaving."

"Let go." She stated her eyes hard.

Jordan felt the anger flash through him in bolts. "You want to go?"

"Yeah!" She nodded vigorously. Without thinking, he reached up and landed a slap to her face. First she didn't say anything. She just stared, dumbfounded that he'd actually hit her, but when he immediately grabbed her face, placing wet sloppy kisses over it, she felt sickened. She felt horror, absolute rage. What she did next made her stumble backward. She pushed him off of her and when he called out her name, trying to pull her back to him, she balled up her fist and punched him so hard, he moved back himself, blood spurting from his nose. He reached up and felt the small trickles come down. Her gaze locked on his nose, trembling with fear over her actions. She'd never hit him before. His gaze went down to hers; seeing the hurt, pain, frustration in her beautiful brown eyes. He inhaled, feeling as if he'd been stomped into the ground, bulldozed over and then flat ironed by a steamer. His chest hurt with every inhalation of breath. His gaze stayed on hers, until ever so subtle, his grip loosened on the suitcase

Chapter Fifty Seven:

"What happened?" Denise's mother inquired as she stepped through the door of her home.

"I don't want to talk about it." Denise's tone was set. She really didn't want to discuss what had been going on with her and Jordan over the last few weeks. She pushed past her mother, down the hallway, up the stairs and to her old room. Laying the two suitcases she'd brought with her on the floor, she let out a big sigh and passed out on her bed.

Jordan slumped down to the floor, the alcohol finally wearing off, leaving him to sober up. Staring out at the blank wall in front of him, he listened as silent emptiness filled his heart and his home. If he could call it that. Without Denise, Nicholas and his mother, it was just a big plop of land that he could stand to get away from. Sighing, he put a distraught hand up to his face, convinced that he'd just done the one thing his mother had always taught him not to do, hit a woman. Not just any woman, but the one he was completely in love with. One he'd loved for almost four years now. Inhaling sharply, he thought of his actions the previous morning with his boss. Yeah, he'd gotten fired, but only after he'd cursed her. She'd always been a nag, but he'd never thought he'd go so far as to be blunt when telling her off. She'd told him, body trembling, face red, that he had to leave and if he decided to come back, she would get a restraining order. In a mass of rage, he'd left the office and then went to the store, bought a twelve pack and was drunk by three o'clock. He'd immediately come home, assuming that it was time to be off, but only to find her packing and him three hours earlier than usual. Closing his eyes, he groaned and then released a sharp breath.

Shortly after his bought with the realization that Denise had left him, he fell asleep and woke up that same night, with a splitting headache. He needed something to calm him down. Sighing, he got up and made his way into the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of vodka, the stuff he really liked and twisted the cap off. As he lifted it to his mouth, a folded up piece of paper was on the counter. Grabbing the paper up, he set the bottle down and opened it. It was dated back two weeks ago.

Jordan,

Hi. I'm leaving this letter because I want you to know that I'm moving back in with my parents. I don't hate you or anything like that. In fact, I love you more now than I did when I first said it that day in the basement, remember? We were standing in front of the heater, just staring like two idiots and I blurted it out. (smile)

Jordan inhaled sharply, a smile coming to his face. He remembered well. He remembered the shock, the still of his body, and the pleasant warmth that took over after the shock. He'd been so happy that day, that he didn't think anything could touch what they'd built. A frown replaced the smile as he thought of the predicament he was in now. Turning his attention back to the letter, he continued on.

I often think about that day and smile because I'd never thought we'd come this far. I didn't think we'd last past high-school. Especially with the way I was thinking back then. Even now, remembering how I thought and behaved back then, it's a miracle you put up with me. I was so inconsistent in everything, couldn't make a decision to save my life, but now...here I am three years later, absolutely positive that I don't want this. I can't stand the drinking, it's too much. I know you're hurt because of your mother's death, and I know you're hurt because of baby Nicholas' death and I understand that, but why do you have to leave me out? Why do I have to be left here? Why can't we go away together? Why can't we heal together? I don't understand this because you've always been the type to work everything out with me. You've always made sure I could talk to you when I needed to. Even when I was dating Lamont back then, you were a great friend. You told me the truth, you showed me love. Now, I want to be there for you, I want to show you the love and support that I know you need. I want us to be able to move on together, but now that's not possible. You've stopped being you and become someone else. Someone I don't know. What do I do about that? How do I get past that? I can't. So, although my love for you is tenderest yet strong in the deepest parts of my heart, so is my disgust for the things you do, the way you treat me, as if I'm non existent. The way you come home and pass out on the floor, sometimes in your own vomit, it's disgusting. I can't do it. I can't take it.

I hurt too, I need you just as much as you need me.

I have to go now,

Love always,

Denise.

Jordan stared at the sheet of paper, the words becoming blurry. He'd known she hated it, but hadn't known she'd felt disgust that intense. His heart swelled with the pain. He hadn't known that she'd felt neglected. He'd been so wrapped up in his own grief, that he'd forgotten that she'd also lost a child. They'd made that baby together. Inhaling sharply, he set the letter down and picked up the bottle. Staring at it, he was suddenly overwhelmed with a hatred for the liquid. The last thing he intended was to cause the one person who'd been there through everything over the past three years with him, to be driven away. His heart was pricked. He loved her way too much to let this come in the way. He loved her way too much to allow the ache in his heart to be drowned out through the use of liquor. He hated that. Sighing, he tipped the bottle over the sink, watching it's contents go down the drain.

Six months later:

Denise couldn't believe this was the last month of 2001. She couldn't believe that she hadn't spoken to or seen Jordan in six whole months. She supposed he was gone, left town, because there were times when she went by his house, to see his car was not there. Didn't seem like he'd been there since the day she left. A sigh released the pain in her heart. She loved him so much. She missed him even more. She missed all the good times they'd had, all the talks, walks, fun, just being with him. Yet, she couldn't bring herself to go back to him.

Staring out of a window in the living room, she watched as the mailman's truck pulled up along the sidewalk. Although it wasn't snowing out side yet, she'd heard from the weather man that it was going to later that night. It was below zero and freezing cold. She watched as the mailman put the mail in their box and then continue on to the next house. This brought her eyes to the house across the street, where Chuck had once lived. After graduation, he'd moved back to the Midwest somewhere for college. Pulling away from the window, she went to the hallway closet and pulled her winter parka on. Buttoning it up, she went to check the mail.

Amidst a few bills, some advertisements and a Christmas card for Victoria, there was an envelope addressed to her, without a return address. Opening it, she opened the folded piece of green stationery paper and her heart stopped beating. Scrawled out in his handwriting, short and brief:

I'll be back for you, Denise

Love Forever,

Jordan~

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 24.01.2017

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