The invasion of the Evil Alien and the Attack of the Blind Grandma

"I've got you now," John whispered to himself as he ran swiftly through the old and rotting leaves.
"OWW! My arm!" Jim yelled as three paintballs slammed into his left arm.
"Now I only need to get Bill then I will have won the paintball war challenge," John thought.
John ran to the other side of the wood, hoping to find Bill.
"Got ya!" yelled Bill as he fired 27 rounds all aimed at John but John saw Bill shooting and dived out of the way before carefully shooting Bill in the chest.
"Looks like I win eh boys," John shouted triumphantly.
"Yes but now we'd better get back to school before the teachers realise we are missing," replied Bill.
"Look, there they are. Get them!"
"Oh no, the teachers have found us," said Jim, "you see, I told you running away from school was a bad idea."

Suddenly a big light lit up the sky and what seemed to be a green meteorite crashed into the city.

"What the hell was that?" asked Jim.
"It looked like a green meteorite," replied Bill.
"Come on guys, let's go check it out," said John enthusiastically.

As they walked towards the city they heard people screaming about a big alien.

"What happened here?" asked Bill.

As they walked closer to where the meteorite landed they saw a huge slimy alien eating people!

"We are all going to die!" someone shouted.

The alien jumped into the air. Suddenly, eight arms shot out of his slimy body and at the end of the long skinny arms a two metre blade was slicing through the air.

"Ok guys I have an idea," said Bill, "we all scream and run around in circles!"
"Bill, that's a stupid idea!" yelled John.

But when all hope seemed lost Ben Hammond, an ordinary 10 year old, jumped out of a gardening store holding a rusty chainsaw.

"Get off plant Earth you piece of crud or else!" shouted Ben.

A sigh of relief could be heard as Ben jumped off the roof of the gardening store and sliced the alient's head off but as blood poured out of the monster's neck, three more heads replaced the old one.

"Oh poo," said Ben as the monster gobbled him down.
"Now no one can save us!" a woman screamed.
"Hmm, I think I will start doing evil things just like this alien," said Jesse ,a well known idiot, who was hiding in the crowd.

Two hours later ...

"This is the BBC here with an important news flash. The evil alien has destroyed more buildings and the really bad news is that a boy called Jesse has been committing criminal acts like bank robbery and he even knocked a blind grandma off her wheelchair."

On the other side of town in a flash apartment the old blind grandma had climbed into her Mercedes.

"You have been messing with the wrong grandma you Jesse boy so you'd better watch out. Bring on the Mercedes!" yelled the blind grandma as she drove until she was a hundred metres from Jesse.
"Jesse, you have been messing with the the bull, now here come the horns!" shouted the blind grandma.

She drove as fast as she could and ran Jesse over but kept driving and crashed into a brand new five star hotel.

"Oh dammit my insurance has run out," said the blind grandma, "oh well, taxi!"

A cheer came out of the people in the crowd as the alien fell over and landed on the blind grandma's Mercedes.

"What? How dare you destroy my Mercedes because only I can destroy my Mercedes, so take this and this!" the blind grandma ranted as she started shooting it with her BB gun. The alien shrieked with pain as the blind grandma dropped the BB gun and started shooting the alien with her shotgun. There was a crash and the alien's dead body fell to the floor.

"Wow! I do not believe that the blind grandma killed that alien," said John.
"Me neither," replied Bill and Jim.
"So is anyone up for another game of paintball war?" asked John.
"Oh no," said Bill and Jim as they started to run away from John's paintball gun which was now pointing at their heads.

"Ready! Aim! ......."


To be continued in The Return of the Blind Grandma.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 05.05.2010

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