For Hee Hee, who always makes me giggle and supported me till the very end-love ya!

Chapter 1-Sometimes, when you try really hard not to screw up, you end up messing up anyway. I am currently an expert on tripping, dropping, and ruining everything I touch. I don’t mean to, it just happens. “Don’t worry, Maddie” mom would say. “You’re thirteen. You’re at that age where you do everything wrong.”
Thanks, mom.
But lately, I think she’s given up hope on me, too. I mean, just a few seconds ago, I was pouring coffee for her because that’s the kind of nice person I am, and guess what? I dropped the mug, coffee and all. My dog, Sunny, came running in and started licking the coffee off the floor and the side of the table. Then she throws up all over my new boots. Then, after some angry sighs and paper towels, the mess was cleaned up. Finally, thinking I’m so smart for cleaning the mess up so fast without my mom knowing, I turn to get my backpack. I slipped on the now wet floor and banged my elbow on the counter. Of course, my mom hears that and comes running down. She looks at me struggling to get up off the floor and rolls her eyes as if saying, “I got stuck with this disaster?” She helps me up. By now I’m embarrassed and I mumble, “Bye, I’m going to school.”
That is a typical morning at our house.
My day went from bad to worse. On the bus, my best friend Charlotte was sitting in the back with the new girl, Penelope.
Let me tell you this from the very beginning: I hate Penelope Canter, with a capitol H. She has long, dark hair down to her waist. She has a pink streak on the side of her head. Everyone thinks it looks cool, but I think it looks like she got bubblegum in her hair. Old, stale, lumpy bubble gum that she stretched. She also thinks she’s cool because she came from California. “I’ve met Addison Walker” she’d say. “We hung out for, like, three hours.” Everyone thinks she’s a super hero or goddess. Charlotte and I would make fun of her and draw her over a bubbling cauldron.
Then why, WHY was Charlotte sitting with her? As I reluctantly sat down next to Sam, (who has a special spot where he puts his boogers,) I turned my head to look at Charlotte and Penelope. Penelope was flipping her hair and laughing. Charlotte caught my eye and grimaced. I smiled at her. “So this wasn’t her decision.” I thought. I happily turned in my seat. As the bus pulled into the circle in front of my school, I looked behind me again. My heart sank. Charlotte was laughing, really laughing, and Penelope had her arm around her. I quickly turned, trying not to catch her eye this time. I pushed my way off the bus, my eyes stinging.

• * *

First period I had Science, second period I had Tech. Then third period I had English. Charlotte has English with me. I tried to avoid her but when the bell rang she caught up with me. “Hey Maddie! I didn’t get to talk to you on the bus today.” She noticed the look on my face. “Maddie? You okay?” Finally I looked at her. I saw you on the bus today.” I said. “I know. I smiled at you.” she said slowly. So that was a smile, not a grimace, I thought. She thought I’d be happy for her, sitting with the most popular girl in school. I started to grow angry. I thought she hated her with me. We drew those pictures together. Secretly, she wanted to be best friends with Penelope. Well, I thought. I don’t need her. Not one bit. “So, thinking of getting a pink streak in your hair?” I asked sourly. Charlotte stopped walking. “You know, Madeline Rose Farrell, you ignorant selfish jerk, I didn’t choose to sit with Penelope. She saw me sitting alone and pulled me towards her.” Anger was bubbling inside me, the volcano in my heart about to erupt. “Well, Charlotte Elizabeth Butant, you greedy back-stabbing warthog, (cause that’s just how smooth I am,) the next time ol Penny asks you to sit with her, at least have the courtesy to think of your old best friend!” She gaped at me for a minute, muttered “jerk”, and then not saying anything but looking furious. There was nothing more to say, so I ran away.

Chapter 2
The rest of the day trudged on slowly. In Math I was so dazed the teacher had to call on me three times before I returned to the real world. She was not pleased. “Madeline, pay attention or see me after class,” She had said angrily. So I tried to stay awake. Finally, it was 2:45 and I was on the bus on the way home. I was thankfully sitting alone. Well, I was until somebody tall with brown hair and a pink bubblegum blob sat next to me. I tried to ignore her, but when you have a best friend stealer breathing down your neck, it’s hard to ignore. “So… you’re friends with Charlotte.” Penelope said. “Yeah. I saw you with her this morning.” I replied. “She’s really nice,” Penelope said, but it didn’t sound like she meant it. “I know. Only a really giving, sweet person could ever be her friend.” I said. Penelope narrowed her eyes slightly and said, “So you guys must not be as great of friends as I thought.” I raised my eyebrows. “Charlotte also prefers beauty and brains before people like…well… you.” She said. I stared at her. She was smiling sweetly. Disgusting. “So if I’m not her friend, and you’re not her friend, who is?” I said, pretending to look confused. Before she could talk back, however, the bus stopped in front of my house and I quickly walked off the bus.

• * * *

I don’t know how I made it through today. Charlotte is in my English, Gym, Art, and Home ECT classes. Guess what? So is Penelope. I lay in bed this morning thinking about pretending to be sick, but then I remembered that I already missed two gym classes, and if I miss another I’ll get a detention. So here I am, in English, slumping a little in my seat, trying to absorb what Mrs. Fitzpatrick was saying. Just as I was about to ask for a pass to the nurse, (to heck with detention,) a paper wad hit the side of my head. I turned in the direction it came from. Everyone had their heads down, working hard. I picked the note up off the ground and unraveled it. It was typed in different colors. It said:

Madeline Rose Farrell you better watch out. I know all there is to know about you. Meet me in classroom 212 on TUESDAY AFTERNOON, APRIL 24th. You better come, Madeline. And remember. I know all your secrets.
Come alone.


Why does everything happen to me? My breath was coming in short gasps and my heart was beating fast against my chest. I looked behind me again. Two people were staring at me. Penelope and Charlotte. Charlotte was looking at me with hard eyes, and smiling a bit. She also looked….guilty. Penelope was smiling too, only she flipped her hair and snickered. By the time English was over, my head was buzzing with un-answered questions. Who wanted to meet me in classroom 212 on Tuesday? Why in April, such a long time away? How did they know my full name? The only people who know my full name is Charlotte and my family. Unless…. Unless Charlotte told Penelope. Charlotte did look guilty about something….
During gym, Charlotte kept trying to get my attention. She even walked over to be my partner, but Penelope quick grabbed her. So there I stood, alone and humiliated. I was about to go up to Miss Rielly and tell her I don’t have a partner when someone tapped me on my arm. “You want to be partners?” I turned around. A tall girl with long yellow hair was staring at me. “You want to be partners?” She repeated, sounding less hopeful. “Oh! Uhh, sure.” I said. “I’m Madeline,” I said. “But you can call me Maddie.” “I’m Dawn.” She said. We started kicking a soccer ball back and forth between each other. “You new here?” Dawn asked. “No, I just don’t get around much.” I laughed. “You?” She kicked the soccer ball between my legs. I ran to get it. “No. Well, kind of. I came here last year in April, from Florida.” “Florida is so pretty.” I said. She was quiet for a while. “Oh!” I said. I realized that I would have felt sad to hear of my old home if I moved. “But Boston is really cool too.” I said. All kinds of historical things have happened here.” Dawn perked up. “Really?” “I’m really into history.” I looked up. “Really? I love History too!” “Isn’t it hard to believe we’re making history right now?” I said. “I know! And that this exact soccer ball could be part of one of the biggest soccer game in the history of the world?” Dawn said. We talked about history for a while. Then we put the soccer ball away and started basketball. I learned that I have Art, History, Gym, Math and Chorus with her. After gym I have Home ECT, but after that I have History with Dawn. I had so much fun with her, I almost forgot about the note and Charlotte and Penelope.
Almost.

Chapter 3

“Hi Honey! How was school?” My mom dried her hands on her apron. She was making an afternoon snack for me. “Fine,” I said. I wanted to tell her about Charlotte and Penelope and Dawn, but I wasn’t sure how. “Where’s Todd?” I asked. Todd is my brother. He’s 16 and has an old car that smells like cigarette smoke even though Todd doesn’t smoke. The seats are all ripped up and there is a stain in the backseat. It’s awesome, (except for the smoke smell.)
“Todd is at Meryl’s house.” She said. Meryl is Todd’s girlfriend. I love Meryl. We have grown really close over the last few months. I hope her and Todd date for a long time. Once, she helped me with my Math homework, (or did my math homework.) And she gave me a really cool tee-shirt that said, ‘Do the right thing’ with a stick man giving you a thumb’s up. I love that shirt. “Honey, you okay? You seem dazed. Anything on your mind you want to talk about?” My mom said. I snapped back into the real world. “Uh, actually, there is something on my mind.” I told her about Charlotte sitting with Penelope on the bus and our fight and the fight I had with Penelope. I told her about Dawn and how I was so happy to have another friend to talk to. By the time I finished talking, I was out of breath and my eyes were stinging again. My mom hugged me and didn’t talk for a few minutes. After awhile she said, “So this girl, Penelope, is pretty mean, huh?” I looked at her. “She told me I was dumb and ugly.” I said. “That isn’t very nice.” “Well,” my mom said. “Think about what you said to Penelope.” I thought. “Well, I called her dumb and ugly too, I guess.” I felt defeated… and a bit ashamed.
“And what about Charlotte. You weren’t very nice to her, either,” My mom said. “But she wasn’t nice to me!” I started getting angry again. “Honey,” my mom said, “calm down. Now all I’m going to say is that if Charlotte really is your best friend she will come back. And, if you are her best friend, you could be the bigger person and apologize first.” My mom left to stir the stew she was making. I thought about what she said, and decided that I’d wait a day before apologizing. I mean, I’m not little Miss Perfect.
I never told my mom about the note.

****

I had a strange dream last night. I was walking with Charlotte and Meryl with my ‘Do the right thing’ tee-shirt on. Suddenly a huge hole opened right under me and I fell. As I was falling I heard, as if in the distance, Charlotte prefers people with beauty and brains before people like…well…you...I know all your secrets…you ignorant selfish toad…warthog…you better watch out... more words came, louder and nastier until they sounded more and more like a scream. Finally I hit something solid. I realized I was sitting on a desk in school! I looked at the room number. 212! I was in room 212, the room I have to go to in April! I was so surprised I laughed. Bad idea. The sound of my voice triggered something. Whispers filled the room and faces appeared on the walls. My body went rigid. My blood curdled. My heart was beating fast against my chest. I thought I was having a heart attack. My lips and nose were numb. My knees buckled. My hands and feet were starting to freeze, they would surely fall off. My breath came in and out sharply, if I could get any breath at all. I was having a muscle spasm, or probably worse. My teeth were chattering. I tried to scream, but no sound came out. I was dying, defiantly dying. I thought all was lost.... then a voice filled the room. “Fight it, Madeline. Fight it like you fought me.” It was Charlotte’s voice! “I can fight it! I can!” Warmth filled my body, and feeling came back to my nose and lips. My legs started to regain feeling. Another voice filled my ears. “She’s mine now, Madeline. She likes me better. You will be alone and friendless, like how it should be.” “No! That’s not true! You’re lying!” Penelope had to be lying…right? “You will be all alone… you and that idiot Dawn. You guys are perfect for each other. Both pathetic losers with no lives, which means… your life isn’t even worth living.” Realization dawned on me. She’s right. I have no life without Charlotte standing next to me.” Suddenly, as if it a bull whip was slashed through my back, I remembered. This is a dream. It’s not real. I started to smile, but it soon faded as a new thought popped into my head. But if I don’t apologize to Charlotte, this could happen. Before I knew it I was sitting up in bed, the comforter on the ground and my hand clutching the photo of me and Charlotte during the summer of 2007, before Penelope flew in from California.

****

“Charlotte! Hey, Char!” I was in the library attempting to find Charlotte. I was successful, but she walked right past me without even blinking. “Come on, Charlotte! You can’t ignore me forever!” “Oh yes I can!” I heard her call in the distance. I ran up to catch her. I grabbed her arm. “Ha! Can’t escape now, can you?” I said. “Maddie! Let go of me!” she said angrily. But then she laughed. At the same time we said, (or yelled,) “I’m Sorry!” “I’m sorry I called you a greedy backstabbing warthog! It’s a really lame thing to say!” I said. “And I’m sorry I called you an ignorant selfish jerk! That is pretty lame too!” We did a hug spasm-thing. “Hey!” I said. Now that Charlotte and I were friends again, I wanted to introduce her to Dawn. “What?” She said nervously. “Do you want to go to the mall with me and a new friend of mine on Saturday?” she looked at me. “You made a friend? Who?” “Dawn Kalahassi.” “O.K! To tell you the truth, I’ve been kinda lonely,” She said. Her cheeks flushed. “Great! So I’ll see ya tomorrow at 12:00.” I said happily. She smiled, and then flounced away.
I now had two friends, and I didn’t even think about the note once.
***

“Wow! This is so cute!” We were in “Girl 101”, one of my favorite stores. Dawn was holding up a lavender shirt with a small yellow butterfly in the corner. “You should buy it! How much is it?” Her face fell. “It’s a whopping thirty bucks.” She said. “All I have is fifteen bucks.” She hung the shirt back up. “You guys? I think this store is a little too pricy for our budget,” Charlotte said. “Let’s go to Jeanie.”
Jeanie is a store where they sell jeans and jean jackets. You can draw on them, rip them, and bedazzle them. You can even sew other fabric and materials on them for an extra two dollars. “I’m going to rip my jeans to shreds,” Charlotte said as walked to Jeanie. “I’m going to draw hearts on the jean jacket I buy.” Dawn said. “Well, one thing’s for sure,” I said. “We cannot get smelly jeans or jackets!” The one problem with Jeanie is that all their jeans and jean jackets are donated to the store. The store cleans them as well as they can, but the smell is like a ghost…it follows you.


“Ok, girls, are you going to bedazzle, rip, color, or for an extra two dollars, sew a different fabric on your jeans?” We were finally in Jeanie, and the sales lady with the nose ring was looking at us with great disgust. “Rip!” said Charlotte” Color!” said Dawn. “Color and rip!” I said enthusiastically. We laughed. The sales lady rolled her eyes. She led us to the long tables towards the back of the store. “This is where you do it.” The sales lady said in a monotone. “Don’t make a mess,” She grouched. “You don’t have to clean it up, I do.” She sauntered back to the counter. We sat down on the worn plastic chairs. “You better watch out,” I said to Charlotte and Dawn. “I think that lady is going to explode!” We all looked at the saleslady, who was putting on lip-gloss, and giggled. “Where should I rip my jeans?” Charlotte asked. I turned to face her. “Not on your thigh. I hate it when celebrities rip their jeans near their thigh. It’s nasty,” I said. Dawn nodded. “Yeah, I hate that too. It makes that person look like a Lindsey Lohan wannaby.” We giggled again. “Yeah, I-“ Charlotte stopped short. “Look at the grouchy saleslady!” We all turned our heads in unison. We all burst out laughing. We couldn’t stop. People turned their heads and one couple even left the shop. That had to be the best trip to the mall ever. Especially when the grouchy saleslady is a Lindsey Lohan Wannaby with toilet paper stuck to the bottom of their high tops.

CHAPTER 4
I love Christmas time. All the caroling and lights and cookies and turkey and Santa and cookies. And cookies. Even though I’m thirteen and should not believe in Santa Claus, I still have a tiny shred of hope that he is real. I’ve always wanted to prove to my family, (and Todd,) that my ranting and raving about seeing Santa is true. I was in first grade and it was Christmas Eve. My dad just screamed at Todd for eating all the Christmas cookies we left out for Santa. I should have already been in bed, but I was too excited to sleep. I heard Todd whine his way back to his room. I think I fell asleep for an hour or so because when I woke up it was dark and I heard my dad snoring loudly. I was about to doze back to sleep when I heard a thump downstairs. I swiftly put on my robe and tip-toed downstairs. My arm brushed against the side of our Christmas tree and I winced. I kept walking, hoping that my intruder didn’t hear me. I looked around the side of the tree and sucked in my breath.
A big shadow on the wall gently petting Sunny, whom we had just gotten a week ago. I quickly tip-toed back up the stairs and into my room. To this day I’m not sure if that was a dream or real. I’ve been trying to convince myself that it was true. But my hope has been fading. After leaning the truth about the Tooth Fairy, and yelling, ‘so my whole life has been a lie’ when I was ten, my faith has shattered. But Santa has always been there for me. So today, when my Grandma and Grandpa came over I almost mentioned my Santa story. But instead I started think about the note for a while. The guilty look on Charlotte’s face and the smirk on Penelope’s. I’ve been wondering if Charlotte and Penelope sent the note. I reread the note multiple times, each time my heart would race and the knot in my stomach would tighten. I knew that April was months away, but already the butterflies were starting. I knew I had to tell someone…but who? My mom? No…she would call the school and start a whole problem… Not dad…not Todd….Dawn? I almost dialed Dawns number on the phone, but I stopped. I didn’t want Dawn to think I wanted to be her friend because I was scared or didn’t have any friend’s at the time. Then a new name popped into my mind. I quickly dialed her number and nervously clutched the phone, waiting for a voice. “Hello?” Hi, this is Maddie Farrell. I was wondering if Meryl was there.” “Sure hold on,” said the grown-up voice. I heard foot steps, than someone yell, “Mer! phone!” I heard more footsteps. “Hello?” “Hi Meryl. It’s Maddie.” “Hey! What’s up?” She said. “I was wondering if we could talk about something.” “Is everything alright? What’s wrong?” she asked quickly. “Well, I got a note about two months ago in English class”… I started. Before I knew it, I was pouring the whole story out to her, including my dream. The whole time she was silent, allowing me to yell and curse and do anything I needed without her saying,” Whoa Whoa Whoa!” Or Calm down Mad! God!” She was 13 once too, and knew what I was going through. After I was done, (and breathing quite heavily,) she paused then said, “ You have had an interesting year so far, haven’t you?” it was such a stupid and random thing to say that I burst out laughing. “You got that right Honey!” I said. “Well, Maddie let me say just this, cause I have to go to Christmas Eve mass in five seconds, that whoever wrote that note has no idea who they are dealing with. And they are defiantly not a friend of yours.” She said. I sighed. “But should I go?” “Oh, yes!” she exclaimed. “Go! Take a risk! Don’t eat your vegetables! Don’t flush the toilet!” I giggled. “Thanks, Meryl. Have fun praising the lord.”

***

“Wow! An i-pod!” I exclaimed. “A blue i-pod,” said my mom. “Thanks, mommy!” I said. (Yes-I’m not afraid of the whole mommy thing.) I couldn’t wait to put new songs on it. I finally had one!!! It was finally Christmas day, about nine thirty in the morning. My family and I were sitting under the pretty Christmas tree, (which took four hours and six curse words to put up,) and I just finished opening up my first present- a brand new blue i-pod. All my friends had i-pods, and I won’t lie. I felt extremely left out.
But now I had an i-pod, and I could sing and dance to my hearts content without my mom screaming “Turn that racket down! Why do you even listen to that garbage?!” I was about to go online to get songs but remembered that it was Christmas and I still had my stocking and more presents to open. I ran back to the tree and opened a small present. It was a bracelet with colorful beads. I never really wore jewelry but this was different. I thought it was beautiful. I put it aside. My dad and mom gave me the i-pod; Todd gave me a new t-shirt that said Go Green on it with a little mouse holding the recycling sign. It was cute! I thanked him, even though I knew my mom bought and wrapped it. My grandma gave me a new sweater she knitted herself, my grandpa gave me a new book called ‘Fantastic places to visit,’ because he knew I wanted to be a world traveler. I also got a box of Chocolate, a pillow that looks like a monkey and a new journal with dandelion flowers painted on the front. In my stocking I got more chocolate, fuzzy socks, slippers, and lip gloss that smelled like strawberry, cherry, vanilla, and watermelon. One even smelt like skittles! Meryl even got me something- a pack of scented shampoo and conditioner. They smelt like sugar plums, gingerbread, cookies, and apple. (Yum!) I also got a new pair of jeans, and an i-tunes gift card. Towards the end of the day, I was feeling happy but spoiled. I felt bad too. It wasn’t fair that I got all this great stuff but some kids were out in the world starving and not able to afford a small Christmas tree. The vision of the sad tree from the Charlie Brown Christmas special floated into my head. I knew I had to do something. I’ve heard about the organizations like Locks of Love and The Hunger Foundation, but I wanted to do something. I may start small, but with a little help I could help children all over the country! I smiled as I popped a chocolate into my mouth. I had to tell Dawn and Charlotte. I smiled at another thought, too.
Whoever sent me the horrible note probably got hard lumpy coal.

****

I was in my room, feeling very content while brushing my hair. Christmas was only three days before and I was feeling fat with chocolate and pie. I was bored, so I decided to listen to my i-pod. It took all the energy I could muster to sit up and walk the mere two feet to my closet. I opened it with caution, because you never know what could pop out at you. Sure enough, a small blue box fell out of my closet from the top shelf. I stared at it stupidly, wondering if I should bend and pick it up. I sighed and bent down to the floor to pick up my new discovery. I grabbed my i-pod quickly and slammed my closet door shut. (I’m still afraid of seeing mean yellow eye’s stare at me.) I went back to my bed and sat cross-legged staring at the box. It looked familiar but I couldn’t remember where I saw it. Then it hit me-Charlotte. Charlotte gave it to me for Christmas a week before she went away to Florida for the holidays. How could I forget about it? She only gave it to me a week and a half ago. The bumble of the holidays must have distracted me. I gently took off the lid of the box with slightly fumbling hands. Inside was a mini nutcracker prince. This gift would normally be of no importance to anyone else, but me being my sappy self, thought it was beautiful. I lightly stoked its long white hair and gingerly touched its red and white cape. I picked it up and held it firmly in my hand. I turned it over and saw the stick that was sticking out of it. When I pushed it in the nutcracker’s mouth it squeezed shut. When I let go the mouth opened. When the mouth opened, a small paper came out. I stared at it dumbfounded, thinking that this moment belongs in a Nancy Drew or Harry Potter book. I picked up the paper and realized I was trembling. I unfolded the paper and tried to smooth out the crease marks. I recognized Charlotte’s handwriting instantly. It said:

Dear Maddie,
I really hope you like the Nutcracker doll I gave you for Christmas. I really will miss you while I’m in Florida. I also hope that you find this note. But that isn’t what I wanted to write to you about. That big fight we had really scared me. I seriously thought you hated me and didn’t want to be my friend. You remember that day on the bus when I was sitting next to Penelope? Well, I told you she pulled me toward her, but that isn’t true. You might have already figured that out. The truth is that I sat next to her on purpose. I don’t why, but I felt like I should have. Even today, when you and I are friends again, I don’t regret what I did. Something told me to sit next to her that day on the bus. The force or something. I still call her sometimes, you know. I do have the right to be friends with who I want. But almost losing you as a friend really cut me up, and if I learned one thing, it’s that I don’t have to lose one friend to have another. I really am sorry and Merry Christmas. Love, Charlotte.
P.S. My mom sent cookies in the mail. I hope you get them soon.

I reread the paper about a zillion times. I just sat numbly on my bed, staring at it with intense dislike. I didn’t know if I was mad or upset or what. I did know one thing: that Charlotte meant it when she said she was sorry. She was right when she said that she could be friends with whom ever she wanted to be friends with. I still felt a little cut up too, by one sentence she wrote. I still call her sometimes, you know… I don’t know why it bothered me, but it did. She was her own person and I couldn’t control who her friends were, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I put the note back in the small blue box and hid it under my bed. Nobody in their right mind would look under there. I lay down on my bed and stretched lazily. “Forget about it,” I mumbled to myself. “Just forget about it.” I stared at the ceiling. A fly was buzzing around my head. I swatted it away. We never got the cookies Charlotte’s mom made.
Chapter 5

“The birds were singing as the snow and icicles melted. The sun was rising over the treetops, reflecting on the crunchy leaves now turning green…”
Oh please…I told myself. Stop lying to yourself and just get on with chilly winter life. The last time we got snow in Boston was, surprisingly, in 2007. We hadn’t gotten a real blizzard in two years. It was just way too cold. And all the birds weren’t singing. They were the lucky ones snuggled together on tree branches in the south. The leaves were brown and on the ground constantly getting stepped on by passerby. Boston hasn’t seen the sun in about a week. I wished I were a dog, or a cat. I’d have enough fur to last a lifetime in Antarctica. “Or you could be Charlotte,” Dawn had said when I confided my deepest wish with her a couple hours after I read the note from Charlotte. “She’s probably diving into a pool right now in Florida.” I pushed the jealousy out of my mind and went to my room to put on another pair of socks.
It was cold. Too cold. It was almost ten degrees below zero, a record. The sky was a slate gray and the trees were all dying. The other day dad was trying to cut down a small tree for firewood, (yes, firewood,) and the inside was full of ice. We should have started school again by now but the heat in the school wasn’t working properly. The school board didn’t want the kids to get pneumonia or a ‘bad cold.’
Hyperthermia in my opinion. But I was totally fine with no school, no homework, and no having to face Charlotte. I decided to pretend I never got the nutcracker note. It would be easier that way.
Two weeks into January and I was already wishing it was summer. The chill of my bedroom was still there as I stood at the bus stop by myself, seething at the thought that my mother was nice and warm still in her pajamas sipping hot chocolate at the kitchen table. We got the call from school a week ago saying that the heating system in the school has been changed and repaired, so we can now skip happily off to school with a shiny apple in our hands to give to our giving teachers. But I was far from skipping, because if I did I would break my neck on the ice and die. The roads have been cleared, (if you call ten minutes of constant shoveling clearing the roads,) and I was waiting for the bus that probably only had four people on it.
When the bus finally pulled up I tripped getting on. Blushing, I slowly and cautiously got on the bus and scanned the torn seats for Charlotte. I saw her brown hair in an up-bun and I hurried toward her. Even with the awkwardness, I was desperate for a friend. “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long! How are”- I stopped short. Penelope was sitting next to her and they were laughing…at me. Charlotte looked up and the smile vanished from her face. “Uh-Maddie! Hi! How was your winter break?” she smiled a false cheery smile. “Fine,” I answered.
“You! Get a seat! Said the bus driver. My face turned a deeper red and I quickly took a seat in the back. I knew I shouldn’t be mad at Charlotte, and I really wasn’t. But just the fact that another person might be invading my friend life was almost unbearable. I took out my notebook from my backpack to doodle in. I was just about to finish my classic crude sketch of Penelope over a boiling cauldron when the bus hit a speed bump and my book went flying under a number of seats. I closed my eyes and wished to disappear while thinking in my mind, “God, I’m sorry for all the sins I’ve committed in life. Just Please.Please.Please let me get the book and not someone else.
“Hey, is this yours?” I quickly opened my eyes and found myself staring into the brown eyes of the most gorgeous boy I have ever seen in my life. “Uh, Yeah.” I answered back. Gee, thanks, God. “Thanks.” I took my book and hastily put it back in my backpack. “That’s a pretty good drawing of Penelope.” He said. I raised my eyebrows. “You know Penelope?” He chuckled.
“I should since she’s my cousin.” I was too shocked to do anything but stare. He laughed again. “Don’t worry. I hate her as much as you do.” Feeling daring I said “She stole my best friend away from me.” I looked in their direction. They were playing piano on their phones. “Charlotte Butant?” He said. “Yep. My names Madeline, by the way. Madeline Farrell.” “Oh yeah, I’ve seen you in English class,” He said. “I’m Johnny Canter and I hate computers, pickles, and Penelope Canter.” I giggled. “I don’t hate her, I lied. I just highly dislike her. She makes fun of me a lot.” I didn’t know why I was telling him all this. It was my problem, not his. “Me too. She calls me a butt wad. What does that even mean?” Johnny said. “She calls me a butt wad and a…” I trailed off. “What? What?” He said smiling. “A…A poop thrower.” He stared at me funny for a second and I seriously thought he was going to throw up. Then out of no where, we both burst out laughing. We laughed for at least three minutes straight. People on the bus started to stare. Even Charlotte looked over her seat to see what was going on. “Johnny!” Penelope snapped. “What.” He asked in a monotone, which made me laugh more. “Come here and sit with normal people.” She answered. His mouth twitched. “No way, you butt wad.”
This time even the bus driver turned to look at us. Johnny was on the floor and I was sliding down my seat. My throat hurt from laughing. His water bottle exploded right as we pulled into the snowy circle to our school, right on cue. The bus driver sighed as he told Johnny that he would clean up the mess. We got off the bus together and right before we turned into different hallways I said, “This is perfect. The bus driver has to clean up your mess after he yelled at me. I love life.” I said. I giggled and he chuckled and we turned into different directions. I really did love life at that moment.
****
I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Johnny was the first boy I have ever had a crush on, and boy was I crushing hard. (Get it?) We sat together on the bus every day and next to each other in English and Science. He was the funniest guy I’ve ever met. Of course Charlotte and Dawn were all over me, asking me all about him, (is he nice did he kiss you are you clicking what’s his middle name…) And let me tell you, it can get very annoying. So we have been together on the bus for awhile, about a month and a half. One time on the bus he pushed some hair out of my eyes and I basically spazzed in my seat. Things were going great.

In gym one day I was jogging with Dawn when a great idea formed in my mind. “Hey! I have a great idea! Do you want to have a sleepover on Friday?” “That would be great!” She replied. “Just you and me?” She asked. “Sure! I’ve been a little mad at Charlotte lately anyway.” She looked puzzled. “Why? Is it because of Penelope?” “Who else? I mean, I know she’s allowed to hang out with whoever she wants, but guess what? She hasn’t talked to me once in a week.” “Oh, Maddie…” Dawn replied, she sounded sympathetic. “Not once?” I racked my brains through English, Art, and Home ECT class. “Well, in English once on Tuesday She asked me if Johnny asked about Penelope at all….” I looked around the Gym for Charlotte. She was jogging with Penelope behind us. “Slow down, Dawn. I want Charlotte to pass us.” We slowed down just as Penelope jogged pass us. I heard her say, “Yeah, so on Saturday we can…” My heart plummeted down to the dusty gym floor. They were going to hang out on Saturday. A girl in front of them tripped and fell. Penelope laughed but I could tell Charlotte wanted to help her, but of course, she laughed a totally fake laugh and kept jogging. Another idea formed in my mind. Dawn spoke my idea out loud. “We should invite Charlotte to our sleepover…” She said mysteriously. “I was just about to say that! We should! Maybe get some info out of her…” I said. We both giggled. “Maybe some info out of you too.” She said while giggling. “Yeah, Yeah…” I said. I wasn’t sure if this sleepover would turn into a good thing or a bad thing.

****
“MOM! THEY’RE HERE!” I bellowed up the stairs. It was Friday at 7:30pm and I just finished pouring Doritos into a plastic party bowl when the door bell rang. “ALLRIGHT! YOU CAN GET IT I’M NOT YOUR SLAVE!” She bellowed back down the stairs. I rolled my eyes and ran to the door. “Hi!” I yelled when I opened the door. “AHH!” Charlotte screamed and she dropped her large duffel bag. It rolled helplessly back down the steps. “Maddie! Look what you made me do!” she said angrily. “Sorry…” I said. There was an uncomfortable silence which was broken by Dawn’s car rolling up the driveway. “Hey!” Dawn yelled. She ran up the driveway with her bag and pillow swinging over her shoulder. “So are we going to have fun tonight or what?” She yelled in our ears. I laughed, but Charlotte said, “God Dawn! Tone it down a bit!” And then Charlotte just walked into the house without a word. Dawn and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes at the same time. “This is going to be a long night.” She said. I nodded.
“A very long night.”


“Truth or dare?” Dawn asked me. I hesitated. If I said truth, she would defiantly ask about Johnny. If I said dare, she would probably dare me to tell them something about Johnny. Either way, Johnny would become the main subject of the conversation. “Dare.” I said finally. “o.k.,” she said slyly. “I dare you to write a big love letter to Johnny and put it into his locker on Monday.”
I blanched.
“What!” I am not doing that!” I do not like him that way! (Liar) How many times do I have to tell you!?”
But Dawn just shook her head and led me to my dad’s office for paper and a pencil. She defiantly knew I was lying. I was then dropped down on a squashy stool in the kitchen and was told to write the most gushy mushy love note in history. I reluctantly picked up the pencil and wrote, Dear Johnny,.
I stopped. Did I really have to write this? Or I could but just not put it in his locker…. “Hey Dawn! Guess what! You’re a big flubber! Yeah you heard me!” I yelled. I heard giggling coming from the living room. “I’m not gonna write this!” I yelled in a sing-sing voice. “Oh yes you are!” I heard Dawn yell back. “CHICKEN! MADDIE IS A CHICKEN!” I heard Charlotte sneer. So I wrote and wrote. And wrote. Dawn strolled in just after I finished. “Done?” She asked, grinning. “Uh huh. Is Charlotte saying anything at all?” I asked. The last thing I saw Charlotte do before I said ‘Dare’ is texting. She hasn’t said one full sentence all night, (except for calling me a fat chicken.) “Still texting. One guess who.” We walked into the living room and there she was, her fingers flying across the keypad on her phone like bullets. “Hey Charlotte, Maddie wrote the letter.” Dawn said awkwardly. Charlotte looked up for a split second then back down on her keyboard. “Cool.” Dawn and I looked at each other funny again. “So, Char, truth or dare?” I asked sitting down next to her. “What?” She said. “TRUTH OR DARE?” I said louder. “Truth.” She said without looking up. “Have you ever peed in the pool?” I asked. “You’re disgusting Maddie. Grow up.”
That did it. The dormant volcano in my chest erupted. Again.
“NO, YOU NEED TO GROW UP!” I bellowed. “DAWN AND I POLITELY INVITED YOU HERE AND ALL YOU’VE DONE ALL NIGHT IS TEXT! YOU’RE ACTING REALLY WEIRD LATELY AND WE DON’T LIKE IT! YOU’RE BEING SNOBBY AND RUDE AND INSULTING AND I’M STARTING TO GET TIRED OF IT! SO EITHER PUT DOWN THE STUPID PHONE AND ACT LIKE A FRIEND OR GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” My face was hot and my ears were starting to burn. My hands were balled into fists and I was breathing heavily. Charlotte sat staring at me on the ground, her phone finally sliding out of her limp hand and onto the ground. Her mouth was open and she was gaping like a fish out of water. I turned my head to look at Dawn. She was standing in the corner with a half smile on her face, half frown. Then, to my surprise, she walked over and put her arm around me. She turned triumphantly toward Charlotte and said, “I’m with Maddie on this one.” I beamed at her. She beamed back. Charlotte slowly got up off the ground and stared at us, as if she were in a daze. “How dare you.” She muttered to us. “You’re just jealous that I have popular friends and you don’t.” She got her stuff together and took out her phone. Then, with as much dignity as she had left, Charlotte stormed out of my house without another word.

Chapter 6

“I still can’t believe you said that.” Dawn said on Tuesday. It was lunch and she and Johnny were sitting with me. I hoped Dawn forgot about the dare because I never put the letter in Johnny’s locker. Penelope and Charlotte were sitting at another table with the popular people. “Well, believe it, cause I did.” “Repeat what you said again, Maddie.” Johnny said. “I want to savor it.” “I thought you hated Penelope, not Charlotte.” I said through a mouthful of bologna sandwich. I realized how un-classy this must look, so I quickly swallowed my sandwich and took a swig from my water bottle. “I don’t hate her, I highly dislike her.” He mimicked. I kicked him from under the table. “Ow! That wasn’t very nice! Tsk Tsk!” We all laughed. “No, really, I’m serious. I didn’t know you had it in you.” Dawn said. I snorted. “Me neither. It just sorta…came out of me.” I said, delicately crunching my potatoes chips. I really didn’t want to look disgusting in front of Johnny. “Well, I’m glad it did come out.” Dawn said. “Charlotte was being a big pain in the butt.” I nodded while crunching the same chips I’ve been chewing for the past minute. I finally swallowed. “Please say it again!” Johnny pleaded. He stuck out his lower lip and opened his eyes wide. We laughed. “Fine, but I don’t really remember what I said exactly…” I said. “Oh, just do it Maddie.” Dawn said, joining Johnny with the puppy-dog face. I smiled. “Ok, ok. I said something like, “You need to grow up you’re being rude and snobby and insulting! Put down the dumb phone”- “Stupid.” Dawn interrupted. “Whatever,” I said. “And stop texting or just get out of my house!” They clapped politely and I did a fake bow, which is very hard to do when you’re sitting. I finally finished my chips and was starting my apple when I remembered the long forgotten note I got in English about three months ago. Without thinking, I said, “Ohmygod! I almost forgot!” “What?” Dawn said quickly. “A couple months ago, I”- But I stopped short. I liked Johnny, (obviously,) but him being Penelope’s cousin, it was too risky. I wasn’t sure if the note was from Penelope, but she was still a prime suspect. “-Took out a book from the library and never returned it. I must have to pay like five thousand dollars by now.” I laughed a totally fake laugh and they stared at me like I had another head. I quickly went back to my apple. I would tell Dawn tomorrow after school. Johnny and Dawn were discussing the latest History assignment, and, just to cover up my moment of insanity, I joined them.

“Dawn, can I talk to you for a second?” I asked, my teeth chattering. It was a freezing school afternoon and I was finally going to confide in Dawn the secret of the note. “What’s up?” She asked while pulling on gloves. I took in a deep breath and said, “It’s a long story which I should have told you about a really long time ago, but here goes…” I told her the whole story from that memorable day on the bus to the note to the nutcracker doll to the sleepover. The whole time she just stood there, mouth slightly open, staring right into my eyes. “The End.” I said. My mouth was strangely dry. To my great surprise, she looked annoyed. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner? You didn’t trust me or something?” Oh no. No, no, no, no. I was not going to lose another friend. “No! I trusted you, it’s just I could never find the right time to tell you.” This is me, being my wimpy self. I’m such a coward. She raised her eye brows and to my intense relief, she smiled. “I’m just too tired, cold, and weak to fight now.” I smiled too. “So who do you think sent me the note?” She sat silently. “I don’t know, Maddie,” She sighed, twisting a strand of her long yellow hair with her finger. “Probably Charlotte and Penelope. Or it could have been one their cronies who are in your English class. Are there any popular people in your English class, besides Charlotte and Penelope?” I screwed my eye’s shut in concentration. “Yeah… Jillian Yates, Kiyla Henderson, and… uh… Wendy Nott.” “It could have been any of them, too. I don’t think it was Kiyla, though. She is really nice, a weird thing to happen when you’re in the popular crowd.” I said. Dawn nodded. “Well,” She said, slinging her bag over shoulder, (her mom’s car was coming to pick her up,) “Were just gonna have to wait and see in April.”

****

I was sitting at my desk doing my impossible Science Homework, (The function of the Gall bladder is…) when the phone rang. I heard a distant and muffled, “Hello? Hey… Sure. Just a sec.” I heard the stomping of Todd feet coming up the stairs then he just barged his way into my room. “Maddie, phone. It’s a boy.” I snatched the phone out of his hands and kicked him in the leg. He quickly retreated from my room. “Hello?” I said. “Hi Maddie! It’s Johnny.” I was so surprised I didn’t answer for a moment. “Uh, Maddie? You there?” “Oh! Yes, I’m here. What’s up?” “I was just wondering if you wanted to go get pizza with me Saturday. We can study for that stupid science test.” My heart leapt. “Sure! It’ll be fun!” I basically screamed into the phone. He laughed. “Cool. See you tomorrow. See ya.” “Bye!” I said cheerfully. JOHNNY JUST ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE!!!! Well not a date, but we going to be alone studying together while eating pizza. I shrieked. I had to tell one of my friends! I almost dialed Charlotte’s number without thinking. I forgot we weren’t friends.
So I dialed Dawn’s number instead. “DAWN! OHMYGOD!!!” I yelled into the phone. “WHAT?” She yelled back. “JOHNNY JUST ASKED ME OUT!” “AHHHH!” She screamed happily. I told her whole story, the whole time each of us letting out random bursts of ‘ahhh’s’. I finally got off the phone, and floated all the way down the stairs to put the phone back on the receiver.
I didn’t even complain when my mom told me to help set the table.
And that never happens.

****
The feeling of me floating soon evaporated when my mom talked to me that night. I was sitting in my room happily daydreaming about my study date tomorrow when my mom knocked on the door. “Come in!” I said in a sing-song voice. She smiled. “Someone is sure in a good mood.” “Yup! Guess why!” “A boy I like and am friends with just asked me out!” The smile on her face slowly faded. My stomach clenched. “What? I’m free Saturday. I own a calendar.” “Yes, honey, but… you’re too young to start dating.” I stared at her. “But mom…mommy…mama…” I said while chuckling nervously. “It’s just at Zallions Pizza around the corner. We’re just going to study. What else would we do?” she looked at me cautiously. It suddenly dawned on me what my mom was thinking. My face grew pink. “Mom! I’m responsible! Besides, if you can trust Todd with Meryl, you can trust me with Johnny!” My mom shook her head. “Todd was different. And I do trust you,” She added when she saw me open my mouth in outrage. “How old was Todd when he started to date?” I asked. She mumbled something that sounded oddly like “twelve”. “Twelve! Mom, I’m almost fourteen, in a month and a half! Why can’t you trust me?” My eye’s stung and the volcano in my chest was overflowing hatred all over my emotions, causing them all to spring up at once. First, my eye’s started to water, and then anger rose in me. Then I felt hurt. Then hopeless. All my good emotions seemed to have gotten drowned by the fiery depths of my heart now controlling me. “Honey…” she said, reaching out to pat my arm. I quickly pulled my arm out of her grasp and swiped at my eyes. “You know what?” She said. I quickly focused my attention on her. “I understand you’re upset Maddie, but that gives you no right to be fresh with me.” I stared at the floor. She sighed. “My decision is final. Goodnight.” She went to kiss my head but I squirmed away. She sighed again, and then walked out of my room, closing the door loudly behind her. She shouldn’t be mad. She wanted kids, and she got them. She should have known that babies don’t stay babies. That they turn into children who turn into teens who turn into adults who turn into parents…I thought. Besides, even the thought of kissing Johnny made me squirm. I knew that at one point I’d want to, but not now. The most I wanted was him to hold my hand and never let go.

CHAPTER 7
After I told Dawn what my mom said, she wasn’t actually that surprised. “I couldn’t see you going out on a date anyhow.” “I also want to ask you a question.
Do you want to go to the soup kitchen with me on Saturday? Just to forget about the whole Johnny thing. It doesn’t sound like fun, but it feels good to help people who need it.” “Sure,” I said.
Because what else was I gonna say?
****

After I called Johnny and told him the dreadful, horrible news, I sat on my bed and thought. I thought about a lot of things. I thought so much, it seems, that it was seven o’clock by the time I went downstairs to give my head a break.
Well, obviously, I thought about Johnny first. About how unfair it was that I couldn’t go on a study date at a pizza shop that was just right around the corner. Emphasis on “study” and “right around the corner.”
If Todd could date when he was twelve, why couldn’t I date when I was thirteen? Anger rose up in me again, hot and bubbling, so I tried to force it down by thinking about something else.
Charlotte was just a mystery these days. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be her friend or not. Every time I thought about her, I’d get all guilty for yelling at her at the sleepover, and then I would resolve to try and talk to her the next day, which would obviously never happen because I’m such a wimpy wimp.
But I had to have some courage, because I did stand up to Charlotte after all. But did that make me feel any better?
No. In fact, it made me feel worse, because if I had all that bravery in me, then tomorrow I could very well scream at a passing bystander for not saying “bless you” or something.
So you can see why I’m sort of stressed.
I thought about the soup kitchen thingy too. I remembered how I was going to do something about world hunger or poverty around Christmas time, but I was too immersed in my own stupid world that totally forgot about the world that really matters.
So, was I upset that I had to go to the soup kitchen with Dawn on Saturday, like she thought I might be?
No again. In fact, I was looking forward to it. It was a chance to get away from school and home and my life and experience what it was like to help out the world, and not just sit around and say “lets not but say we did,” for Pete’s sake.

****
Dawn’s car pulled into the driveway at 12:00 Saturday afternoon. Well, not Dawn’s car, but Dawn in the car that her mother was driving. If Dawn was driving, well, let’s just say that our trash cans wouldn’t be in front of our house anymore.
So Mrs.Kalahassi pulled into our driveway and I hopped into their Volvo with nervous anticipation.
“Hey!” Dawn greeted me as I tried to figure out how to work the seatbelt. “Hi,” I grunted as I pulled the strap around my head and across my arm.
She rolled her eyes and said “stop, you’re going to break something” as we sped down the street toward the Town’s soup kitchen. She finally clicked the seat belt around me just as we stopped in the parking lot nearest the soup kitchen.
“Great…” I muttered.
Just Wednesday I told myself that what I was doing was nice and helpful toward society, or something. Then Saturday came fast and I found myself walking through the grimy door into the actual kitchen, and was appalled with what I saw.
Dawn, her mother and I had just walked into a small sitting room with small, torn red chairs and another torn red couch. Sitting on the couch was a woman, around 30, with a blue dress with buttons going down the back. One of the buttons was missing. She was also wearing a dirty black coat with all but three of the buttons missing. Her brown hair was pulled into a sloppy bun.
Her hand lay on an old baby carriage…with an actual baby inside. It wasn’t crying, but it wasn’t asleep. It just looked out into the world, wondering where it was, and if it would ever leave. I stopped walking. The tears came to my eyes out of no where and I quickly blinked them away. Tears wouldn’t help this poor family. “Maddie? Why did you-oh….” Dawn stopped walking too and just stared at the baby. She grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the woman.
“Hello” she stammered. The woman looked up, surprised. I suddenly felt bad in my Abercrombie sweatshirt. I crossed my arms over the logo.
“Hello.” She said back. Her voice was raspy. “It is a boy or a girl?” I asked.
“Girl,” She answered. “Her name is Isabelle.” We stood in silence for a while. It wasn’t an awkward silence. It was a beautiful silence, the lion looking upon the mouse as equals, (which I realized a little too late was a terrible thing to think.) “She’s beautiful.” I whispered. The Woman positively beamed. “Come on, girls. They’re waiting.” Dawn’s mother called to us from across the hall. “Bye. Nice meeting you,” the woman said. “You too,” Dawn and I said in unison as we strolled toward the door that said “kitchen” on a smudged bronze plaque. We heard a soft, strained cry from behind us.

****
Overall, the trip to the kitchen was…empowering. Enlightening. Overwhelming….a real experience. Dawn and I didn’t say much on the ride home. We were both thinking of what we just saw.
They kitchen only served two different kinds of soup- onion and vegetable. The soup was a little watery, but good all the same. If you were allergic to anything in the soups, it was just too bad, which I though was very unjust and uncalled for.
I saw an old man with a frizzy mass of white hair. He gave me a forced kind smile, but quickly spooned his soup into his metallic bowl and was off. I also saw an African American family-A mother, father, and two boys. They looked friendly enough, but the two boys, one looked ten the other around 8, were very wild and their parents looked very harassed and sad as they got their soups and hurried to the long oak tables at the end of the hall.
I saw the woman and baby again. The woman smiled from ear to ear and, although I was sure I wasn’t supposed to see, Mrs. Kalahassi slipped her and extra two scoops of onion soup.
The last people were an old couple. They both had white-gray hair and didn’t stop holding hands the whole time. When I gave the woman her soup, she said “Thanks much, love” and I knew she was English.
That particular couple touched me because it looked like they were together long and even though they were poor they still stuck together and loved each other.
I hope I have a relationship like that someday.
Arg! I sucked my stupid world into the real world again! When will I stop?

****

“Only hit with the side of your foot, you’ll get better accuracy and power that way,” Miss Rielly said.
Oh, Soccer. How I hate thee. How I despise the way thee get’s under my feet and trips me in front of everybody in, like, the whole universe.
Whoa. I just swerved off the Shakespeare path for a moment. But how I hate Dawn and her pro-soccer self, but I wanna curse Penelope more because she’s as good as Dawn is.
So now were playing soccer, and I, being my gracious self, happily volunteered to be defense.
Dawn, Holly Pittolini, Lily Thompson, and Gina Hawthorn were offense.
Olivia Tanker, Ariana Wendell and I were defense. Cara Smith was Goalie. Overall, we were an OK team. All the offense players were amazing, obviously, but the entire defense…not so much. Cara was a good goalie, but she sometimes cared more about staring at the boys being all tough playing baseball at the other end of the field then where the ball actually was.
Olivia was nice, but she, like me, has zero self esteem when it comes to sports.
Ariana wasn’t good at soccer…she was good at staring at Penelope the whole time. She was nick-named “Peneliana” the beginning of the year. She could be nice, (and she is,) but when ‘Penny’ is around, she switched to ultra-awesome mode. It’s kind of annoying, and it reminded me of Charlotte, who was also on Penelope’s team.
Dawn….is like me, except without the sucky-at-soccer part. She has ZERO self esteem when it comes to sports, like me, except she’s actually great at Soccer. Fantastic, really. So, yeah, when Miss. Rielly made our team, (the Kickin Peeps,) plays against the Soccer Princesses, (Penelope’s team,) we were determined to win.
Well…Dawn and I were anyway.
The game started fine, a little boring, but how else could you start? Holly started the game with a kick toward Penelope’s goal, which Dawn happily took over and kicked closer to the opposite goal. It was a great mass of Purple and gold, (our school colors ;) a sea of sharks fighting over the last krill in the ocean.
A girl on Penelope’s team, Candy, sneakily kicked the ball from under Holly’s foot, causing Holly to fall on to her back. We heard a shrill whistle and Miss Rielly came running over. It took all my might to not run over to Candy and Penelope, who were laughing, and punch them in the mouth. Dawn ran over to Holly, bent down, and said, “Omigod! Are you all right?” Holly slowly sat up, then, Dawn supporting her, said, “Yes.” “Are you well enough to play?” Miss Rielly asked. “I think so,” Holly said.
And the game resumed.
Dawn-Lily-Penelope-back to Lily-Candy-Penelope-they were getting closer and closer-
“Come on, Maddie! Kick it! Just kick it!” Dawn was screaming. I saw the black and white blur right in front of me, and Penelope’s smirking face-
And anger surged through me like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It was her fault Charlotte and I weren’t friends. Her fault. It was her fault the world was falling apart, and babies died and people didn’t eat for weeks at a time because they couldn’t afford it, her fault other girls hated themselves, her fault I felt a jabbing pain in my nose, and a huddled mass of purple and gold around me, a panicked voice yelling “Maddie! Maddie!” But who was Maddie; I was just a lonely 13 year old girl with no friends….

CHAPTER 8
“I told you, I can’t do gym for three weeks!”
“Come on, Maddie!”
“No!” I whined.
Dawn and I were sitting at my kitchen table eating cheerios with cinnamon sprinkled on it.
Apparently, Penelope kicked the soccer ball really hard, and she was really close to me, and I was just standing there, being all fuming. It hit me square in the nose and forehead. Dawn said that blood came quickly, I blacked out. Everything was a bit hazy; all I remember was Dawn’s white face by my side the whole time. I also remember the nurse’s office and Dr.Jenkins saying “yes, no P.E. for three and a half weeks. It’s defiantly broken.”
I had to wear a weird bandage on my nose that made me look like a duck. People kept asking if they could sign it, and I kept saying, “no, you idiot, if you did that you would break my nose again and I would kill you.”
Well, I didn’t say that exactly, but something like that.
I felt sort of bad that I couldn’t be with Dawn in Gym, but yippee, no soccer. She sort of sulked after I came to, but she soon got over it after I told her that without me on the team, they might actually win a game. After I said that she smiled a bit fakey like and said, “Yeah, well….”
Soon after the accident I was back to school with the idiots trying to sign my nose-cast. Whenever I saw Penelope in the hall I’d glare at her or laugh really loud. I didn’t know if that was mean, (ok, maybe I did,) but she wasn’t being an angel either.
After Science class on Monday, the most amazing thing happened: Charlotte talked to me. I was on my way to put my science textbook in my locker when I felt someone tap my shoulder. Figuring it was Dawn or someone, I turned around and said, “Heeeyyy watsup girlfriend!?” This was an ongoing personal joke between Dawn and me. I jumped to see Charlotte, but then remembered I was mad at her. “Oh,” I said quickly, and turned to leave. She grabbed my shoulder. “Maddie-wait,” She said. I turned to look at her, trying to make my face look mildly curious and have a bit of a glare etched into it. It didn’t work. “I wanted to tell you that what Penelope did was out of line, aiming the ball right at your face,” Charlotte started to say. I could tell that she wanted to giggle at my face, which was now pained because of my huge big-as-a-space-shuttle cast right smack dab in the middle of my face. “It was wrong and yes, it was mean. I just want you to know that Penny is sorry and feels really bad for being mean.” She stopped talking and looked like she was waiting for me to say something. I did. “If ‘Penny’ really was sorry, then she would tell me herself and not send her servant to do all the dirty work.” And with that I picked up my backpack and walked into the cafeteria.
***
It’s April. Today is April 24th. In just a couple hours, I will meet who ever wrote the stupid note. This morning, I got up feeling nauseous and looking pale. Do I have to go? Why can’t I just go straight home, and forget the thing all together? But I knew I would never do that. I would never be able to forget the note, and the fact that I came so close to see who wrote the note, but was too chicken to find out, would haunt me. So I dragged myself to school, avoided Charlotte’s eyes on the bus, and dragged myself through science, tech, English, gym, art, and math. Then came lunch, where I didn’t eat anything and Dawn tried to consol me. “Maddie, I’ve made a decision. I’m going with you.” I hugged her and said weakly, “That’s sweet, but I sorta want to go alone,” I said. Johnny didn’t meet my eyes that lunch period.
***
I wasn’t sure if tenth period, the last period of the day, went too fast or too slow. It did end, though, and I found myself dragging my feet across the dirty floor to room 212. They know all my secrets....I thought. What secrets? I don’t have any secrets! I don’t have any deep dark secrets, anyway. But what if they know about my bad test grades? Or that wart I used to have on my toe? Or how I threw up on Rachel Donohue in first grade? What if they got an embarrassing picture of me? Or the kiddie songs on my i-pod? Oh God! What if they know that…My thoughts were interrupted by me crashing into the door to room 212. A searing pain shot through my nose and down to my toes. I reached the door, my hand shaking, only to have it swing open by itself, revealing a dark, gloomy classroom. Omigod. I stepped into the dark classroom. A black, huddled mass moved in the corner, revealing long, dark hair. OmigodOmigodOmigodOMIGOD. This couldn’t be happening.
It was Charlotte.
“Maddie! You have to leave!”
“W-What?” I said dumbly.
“It’s a trap! Maddie, I’m so sorry!”
I was too shocked to move, and too angry to stand. I swayed on the spot.
She made to grab my arm but I jerked away. “How could you do this to me?” I choked out. “I thought we were friends.”
“We are friends,” Charlotte said, trying to grab my arm again.
“No,” I said. “We aren’t friends. I’ve tried to ignore the new obnoxious, snobby Charlotte, but a friend wouldn’t do this to me. A friend stays true to their best friend. I tried staying true to you, but you pulled away. I’m sorry, I tried, but you’re not the kind of friend I want to have.”
This had all spilled out of my mouth at once, every thought since Christmas rolling off my tongue, and I couldn’t take any of it back. The funny thing was, though, I didn’t want to take it back. It was cruel what I said, I knew, but she had to know. She deserved it.
Charlotte just stared at me. She then said, “Maddie…” and looked up.
I didn’t jump out of the way in time. A bucket of eggs and pancake batter fell on my head from the ceiling. It splattered down my shoulders and front. The bucket banged my nose, I felt like it was on fire. My shock suddenly broke. Charlotte was biting her lip. She had opened her mouth to speak when the closet door opened.
Penelope Canter walked out, laughing so hard she was holding her side. My face reddened and my humiliation and anger grew.
“You-You-you-idiot!” Was all she could manage before falling on her side, out of breath. My eyes were hot and prickly; I knew I was going to run away soon. But, to my surprise, I walked over to Penelope, wiped batter and yolk out of my eyes, and said, “I have Dawn. I have Johnny. I have my mother. I have my father. I have my brother and his girlfriend. All you have is a group of friends who are afraid of you. And you know what? I feel sorry for you.”
Her laughing subsided a bit, but she was still smiling. “Your such a dork,” she said. I turned around.
Slipping a bit on the mess, I walked to the door. Before I opened it, I turned toward Charlotte.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
I walked out, tears falling down my cheeks.

Chapter 9
The next few weeks were a blur: rumors of what happened flew around the school like bullets. I heard one insane rumor that Jackie Chan was there and that I battled him with my amazing Kong-fu skills. (Why I told people about my Kong-fu powers, I don’t even know…)
Dawn, great friend that she is, stayed by my side the whole time. I asked Johnny if he knew about it, and he said he knew something was up, but he didn’t really know so he didn’t tell me. I decided not to push it further, but to accept it.
Penelope was enjoying the attention, making sure to repeat what happened in slow motion. Strange thing was, she never repeated what I said to her. I guess I made some sort of impression on her. Charlotte, though she tried to hide it, liked the way people stopped her in the halls to recount what happened.
I don’t know if anything broke between us, except my trust in her. Nothing, even a bucket of egg yolk and batter, can change the friendship between us. No, we are not best friends, but we are friends. She “blew it” as Dawn said. I guess I’ll just have to face that fact.
But she did apologize, which made my day, for the way she was acting lately. I forgave her, but one small part of me thought, “Why? She’s never going to be the old Charlotte again.” I silently agreed with it. I felt like this whole year made me stronger. Not physically, but mentally. We would probably hang out after school to do homework, but we would never have that special connection that best friends have ever again.
But the prospect of May, (and the end of the school year,) made my thoughts less gloomy.
The annual 8 grade food fight* was upon the whole grade. Not once since 2002 did the food fight actually take place. The whole grade was punished for it. They had their 8 grade picnic taken away.
But this year was going to be different. I heard from Charlotte that she heard from someone who heard from someone who heard that somebody in the grade was planning to start it. Nobody knew who, but someone was going to start it. The grade was buzzing with anticipation. Nobody knew what day it would happen, just sometime late May.
So the days and weeks passed; the rumors of the incident in room 212 finally fizzing out.
Everyday, people would look excitedly around the cafeteria, searching for huddled groups and flying applesauce.
But it wasn’t until the last week of school when chaos was unleashed.
All the kids were high on summer, and everybody knew that we would crack any day now. The mini cameras had been stationed around the school, hopefully to catch the Food Fight Culprit.
Us kids laughed at it-how would thirty cameras stop the brave hero who was to start the food fling? The School Board really underestimated us.
The lunch to remember happened the last Friday before final exams. We were all a bit downcast, due to the fact that the worst behaved kid in the grade had been taken to the office for putting gum in the key hole of a his math classroom. Nobody thought that we’d have the fight anymore. The teachers looked triumphant at the front of the lunchroom.
We were talking; Dawn, Johnny, and I, when Johnny threw down his liver sandwitch with such force it knocked down Dawn’s low-calorie chocolate milk.
“What?” I asked, alarmed.
“Somebody has to start the fight!” He said angrily.
“How?” I asked. “Jimmy Larsen was taken to the office. Who else will start it?”
He looked at me, eye brows raised.
Then he threw a liver chunk at me.
I sputtered, trying to understand what the heck just happened.
“I get it!” Dawn exclaimed. She flung chocolate milk at Johnny.
He threw another liver chunk at her.
I was the only one sitting there like an idiot.
Another chunk hit my face.
I was glad my cast was off.
“Hey guys, what’s up?” Melissa Vitterman had walked over to see what was going on.
A chocolate milk spurt hit her in the eye.
“Hey!” She said. She groped inside her lunch bag and came out with a banana. She
smushed it in Johnny’s hair. Dawn started laughing, because we all looked just sort of ridiculous. So did Johnny, Melissa, and the table next to us. One of the guys at the table next to us, John Smokes, decided to join in by throwing a slice of pizza at Johnny. Dawn just spurt Chocolate milk everywhere.
I still hadn’t joined in.
John’s girlfriend, Adeen, swat him with her potato chips. Then she threw them at Johnny.
Everybody had it out for Johnny.
“What’s going on?” someone said. It was Penelope.
She burst out laughing at the sight of all of us.
Then everybody threw something at her, including me.
When the food-dust cleared, we saw she was drenched with liver chunks, chocolate milk, pizza, banana, greasy potato chips, and…
Bologna.
She pushed the boundaries of ridiculous, and ran away cursing us for being alive.
That was the best lunch ever, everybody agreed.
CHAPTER 10
“Okay, pencils down. Place your test papers on the corners of your desk to be collected.”
I sighed, made some last minute changes, swiped away some eraser shavings, and placed my test upside down on the corner of my desk. I heard a sigh echo around the examination room. Our last exam, Social Studies, was finally over. I glanced over at Dawn and saw her nervously gnawing at the end of her pencil. She was a straight A student, and hated failing-or anything under a B. She smiled a weak smile and nodded to show she wasn’t going to have a seizure. I suppressed a giggle and searched a few desks up for the person I was really looking for.
Charlotte was leaning in her chair, raising her hand up high. Mr. Hubble, our Social Studies teacher, nudged Miss Kleinberg, the other Social Studies teacher. She walked over to Charlotte and said, “What seems to be the problem, Miss Butant?”
“I’m expecting a call from my millionaire aunt in two minutes,” she said loudly. “Can I please get my phone out if my bag?”
“You’ll have to wait until the examination has been collected,” Miss Kleinberg said sternly.
“It has been collected,” she said, motioning to her now empty desk. Miss Kleinberg’s eyebrow twitched, but only slightly.
“You will have to wait until I make the announcement to leave,” She said.
Everybody was on the edge of their seats; even those who disliked Charlotte wanted her to win the argument. The silent cheering acted as a stimulant to Charlotte, who started to count. “Ten…Nine…Eight…” We all started to join in. “Seven…Six…Five….Four…”
“Stop that this instant!” She screeched.
“Three…Two…One….!”
BRRRRIIINNGGG!!!!!!!
The bell rang for the last time that school year, cheers rang throughout the halls, drowning out the bell, and desks scraped the floor as all us kids ran from the room with a sudden burst of excitement, waiting to smell the summer air. My smile stretched from ear to ear, and I scanned the room for Dawn and Johnny. Dawn squealed when she saw me, and we hugged and jumped and laughed for freedom. “Finally!” We yelled. We ran from the classroom, listening to all the snippets of conversation and yells. I heard Charlotte on her phone, saying, “Yeah, they actually believed it!” a group of gaggling girls signing last minute yearbooks, and a girl talking to her boyfriend saying, “We’ll go swimming, get ice cream, have pizza nights…”
I also saw Penelope, sitting on a bench near the doors. I found myself walking over to her.
“Hi,” I said. She looked up, but didn’t say anything. I gulped, but continued. “I’m having an end-of-the-year party this Saturday,” I said. “Charlotte’s coming, so if you want to come, you can.” She finally looked me in the eye and said, “I’ll keep that in mind.” Her mother pulled up in a cherry-red convertible. “I have to go,” She said, and walked away.
“You do know that she probably won’t come,” Dawn said. “Yeah,” I said. But, despite that, I felt a warmth flutter through me.
“Hey!”
I spun around. Johnny was coming toward us.
“Hi!” Dawn and I said. “So are we just gonna stand here, or are we gonna go to the ice cream?” He said.
We cheered, and opened the doors to the Middle School for the last time. Things were going to change, I knew. In two months I would be walking up the concrete steps to the High School, surrounded by gorillas and ostriches.
But for now, for today, I didn’t have to worry about gorillas or ostriches or tests or mean girls or lunch food. All I had to worry about, I thought as a stepped out into the sticky Boston air, was which ice cream flavor I was going to choose….

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 17.04.2011

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