The online writer’s book of etiquette

For those of you who don’t own a dictionary, etiquette is as defined by the dictionary:

a. The set of rules for behaving correctly in social situations

b. A set of rules about behavior for people in a particular profession

In light of the many reviews I have seen with ‘you’re a bad writer, you should be deleted’ or ‘stop wasting everyone’s time, you have no talent’, or ‘this fic sucks!’ I believe that even as online writers, or people who haven’t yet been published, there should be an online writer’s book of etiquette. So here are my thoughts on that subject.


1. When leaving a review about something you think is bad, stop leaving one worded or two worded reviews. Telling me that my work ‘sucks’ or that you ‘hate it’ tells me nothing. Similarly reviews with swear words will be ignored. Tell me what you didn’t like. Was it the characters? The plot? The ending? What? Telling me specifically what you didn’t like helps me to improve for the next time, even if it is a bad review, or you didn’t like my work.

2. Similarly if you liked my work, some detail would be appreciated. What did you like about it? What do you think should be changed? ‘I liked this’ reviews make me feel good, but they don’t help me improve as a writer. Please tell me what you think I am doing right so I can do it again.


3.Swearing is just plain wrong, no ands, if’s or buts. I don’t like swearing, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. So please don’t leave me a review telling me that you think I’m an ‘f***ing w***e’ who has no talent. It only serves to illuminate your own stupidity.

4. Using religion to argue your point in a review is pointless, so stop telling me that I’m going to go to hell for writing male/male or female/female stories. Fact is, I find it easier to write these stories. I don’t know why, maybe I am myself confused. However that should not allow you to tell me that you think god should strike me down for having such thoughts, and yes, I did get one such review on fanfiction.net for a male/male entry.

5. Telling me I should be deleted for writing ‘c**p’ is mean and cruel. I will be deleted by the site if I do something stupid like not rating my stories carefully, or like you are doing, leaving hurtful reviews.


6. You are insulting my reader’s intelligence
when you infer that they should not vote for me because I have no talent. If they voted for me, then they must believe that I am doing something right.

7. Please stop leaving me reviews asking me when I am going to update, especially for fanfiction.net. While I do love these reviews, it only serves to make me not want to write for a while as I do have other things to do. My life does not revolve around fan fiction, or similarly around the books that I write. If I have time, and the inclination, I will add a chapter, not until then.

8. Mary sues. I did not know what this was, and was very confused the first time someone on fanfiction.net told me that I was writing one into the Pokémon universe. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Please if I am writing a Mary sue, or you find someone else who is, feel free to point it out, but be courteous enough to tell us what a Mary Sue is, or better show me a Mary Sue litmus test so I can test my characters for this trait. I recommend the following website, as it gives you a good indication test and a link to what a Mary Sue is: http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm

9. Self insertions while interesting should be limited as it is very tempting to change the world you are writing about in order to make yourself the hero when someone else should be, or you can end up as a Mary Sue/ Gary Stu character.

10. Non cannon or alternate universes should be labeled as such. There is nothing more confusing than starting to read a story and wondering why all of your favorite characters are acting odd.

11. One word descriptions for your stories can add a little mystery, but please give me something more than the title.

12. Asking for reviews is fine, and I’m happy to review anything I find interesting. Begging for reviews, or threatening to take down a story if it doesn’t get enough reviews/votes is like blackmail and I refuse to review or read anything more of these kinds of stories.

13. TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS LIKE SHOUTING! PLEASE TRY TO AVOID THIS!

14. If you are unsure of grammar, spelling, or other technical aspects of a story please try to get some help in the form of a beta reader. There are plenty of people with the patience to help you fix those odd parts of your story that don’t make sense. Please don’t make me read a story that has 75 percent of the story scratching my head and wondering what
you were trying to say.

15. If you are going to use big words to impress people, please define them. I don’t always have a dictionary on hand, and I don’t always want to be running to find one because I have no idea what you are trying to say.

16. I think reviews in another language are cool; however it would be nice if you’d send me an online translator so I can know what you liked/didn’t like and so on.

17. When labeling your story as kid friendly, please try to remember that there are younger readers out there; this means that swearing, and sex scenes, blood, character death, or other mature themes should be saved for older audiences. Please rate your stories right.

18. Super powered characters are awesome, but please try to remember that your character is not god. He/she has to have some flaws or they’ll just end up being a Mary Sue/Gary Stu.

19. Bad guys don’t have to always be unlikeable. Try to remember this when writing your villain so that he doesn’t come out sounding like he/she is the son/daughter of Satan or is Satan unless you are writing “Supernatural” (the television show) fan fiction or original fiction, in this case it’s your imagination, use it.

20. When writing alternate universes, try to remember that although the characters will be different, character traits such as loyalty, bravery, stupidity, or even who they love are pretty much set. Change the setting, change the look, but remember that your character will mostly be the same in a different universe. Example: if Harry from Harry Potter had been raised by his parents, I have no doubt he would be spoiled, but remember that Lilly was shown to be a fair, rule loving person in the books so she probably wouldn’t let him get away with everything just because she was alive.

21. Dialogue is one of the hardest things to master so please everyone practice.

22. Misspelling things is common, and I would like to be told when I haven’t spelled something right, especially in the Pokémon universe.

23. Japanese names and terms are wicked in a story, but please don’t use them if you don’t know what they mean, I’ve seen this way too often

24. If you are going to write a story over one thousand words please space out the paragraphs, which just makes it easier to read.

25. If I am your beta reader, please be aware that I am not perfect, nor am I always available. I will try to help as much as I can, but you have to understand that I have a life too.

26. If you are my beta reader, please feel free to be honest about my work, it helps me write better and that is what I believe a beta reader should do.

27. Making fun of someone for grammar or spelling mistakes because they are writing in a language they are just learning is not cool.

28. Remember when reading younger writers work that you started out that way too, and try to help if they need it.

29. Copying someone else’s idea and passing it off as your own is called plagiarism and is punishable by law. Try to remember that.

30. A romance novel or story does not have to have a steamy bedroom scene to be a good story. I like these as much as anyone, but please remember when writing for younger readers that your characters should not be jumping into bed every two seconds.

31. A cliffhanger can be interesting in a story, but try not to overuse them.

32. If you are switching points of view, please use something to let the reader know.

33. If you are writing a history novel, please do your research. I do not want to read a novel about the 1800’s and read that they have a computer or something else unrealistic to the time period unless I am reading an alternate history novel.

34. If your main character is raped, please don’t have them falling in love with their rapist, it just won’t happen.

35. If you are writing a novel for children please try to remember that just because they are kids does not mean they are stupid. Don’t talk down to them.

36. There is a difference between horror and torture porn. I read horror because I find it fascinating and everyone likes to be scared once and a while. While I’m not particularly fond of torture porn and would like to know if you are writing this kind of thing. (example: any of the saw movies I consider to be torture porn)

37. Comedy should always be properly rated, please don’t make me tell you that swearing while funny in some comedy is not funny when it is in a children’s novel.

38. I enjoy a good male/male or female/female story, but other people may not. So please if you are writing these, make sure to tell us before someone that doesn’t like this sort of thing reads it and decides to flame you.

39. Description is always good in a character; it helps me to imagine what they would look like.

40. If in your fandom (the story you are writing your fan fiction in) your character does not have siblings, please avoid the temptation to add them. Unknown relations such as cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc are fine as these could be overlooked, but a brother/sister or twin is something that would be pretty hard to miss. So unless this is an Au (alternate universe) you’re better off not making up siblings for characters that don’t have them.

41. When switching the sex of your character or a character from a fandom, please make sure to mention this, it makes it so much easier.

42. Keeping your profile short keeps me from being bored

43. Sources should always be named. If you are using lines from a book, the page number, book name, and author are required.

44. Making fun of someone for how they write, or what they did wrong is hurtful and serves no purpose. Remember to treat people the way you would like to be treated.

45. Try to avoid using clichés such as ‘his hair flowed like a waterfall’ when describing your characters, it gets old after a while.

46. Realize that while not everyone is going to like what you write,you have rights, and that people being hurtful can be blocked, reported to the administrators and have their profiles deleted.

This is all I can think of for now, but I will add to this as I think of more.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 19.01.2011

Alle Rechte vorbehalten

Widmung:
For David, who keeps reassuring me that I have talent, and For anita, the best friend I ever had, and whose heart I broke because I felt I didn't deserve her. Forgive me?