PREFACE
Never would I have ever guessed that I would be the one to fall deeply unconditionally ,absolutely in love with a gangster. No, never mind, not a gangster, just someone who was in the wrong situations with the wrong people and irrevocably, the wrong past.
No, not me. I was what my elder sister charmaine called an “Oreo”. I never listened to rap, or even used slang words.I liked being me.
My brothers and sisters were very stereotypical, thought all black people should do what they saw on b.e.t, not me, I liked keeping to myself and staying out of the way, being original. So I was more than surprised at myself when under long beach street lights I’;d been beaten up, threatened, jumped, all for him. All for love. that’s why couldn’t deny his love, we’d been through to much. Simply.
“shay” an anxious voice called to me from down stairs.
“shay hurry up, you have to” my moms voice wavered and then fell silent.
I ran down stairs, running head first into her, she looked panicked. Almost like being caught up to by your biggest fears.
“what’s wrong?” I asked, bewildered by her tortured expression. Though I asked, I knew the answer. Her eyes told me every thing I need to know.
“um shay, listen, there’s been an accident” she said in a hallow voice with a fathomless face to match.
“no!” was all I could say before I collapsed on the floor.”it cant be!’ I whisperd.
“no, no, no, no!” I began sobbing on my mother, who appreard to be crying as well.
“hhunney, crying wont bring him back unharmed, sweetheart, allp we can do is wait, he’s at st.marys, he’s gonna be alright, hes gonna make it baby” she said, with a feeble attempt to stop our sobbing.
“he’s gonna make it” she chanted over and over.
My brain had been slowly working through the black deathly waters that threatened to pull me under and NEVER return me, that I forgot that st.marys was right down the street. I grabbed my keys, making a run for the door.
Though my knees were weak, though it took every piece of my will power to make it, I did. I ran into the entrance, my legs weighing at least a ton, Panting, harder than ever before, I feebly walked to the front desk. The I spoke as urgently as I could manage “stink, I mean ricky” I huffed and puffed. “wait in the lobby, doctor will be right with you”..
This cant be happening, not right now. I touched my stomach, hoping somehow it would make me closer to my stink.
LORD, PLEASE. YOU CANT HVE HIM YET, HE’S NOT DONE ON EARTH, WE WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TOGETHER, NO! JUST PLEASE. I NEED HIM IN MY LIFE. HES MY EVERYTHING.. JUST PLEASE, O’LORD PLEASE!
Tears began to fall from my checks, sobs ripped my chess apart, I began hyperventilating.
The docter that came in next walked up to me with fathomless eyes and had spoken the words that I knew I would hear…

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 29.06.2010

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