Summary
A simple reminder of where our focus needs to be, A mentioned thought to re-awaken our awareness in this busy, contant hurry world we live in.


DEDICATION
I dedicate this book to all my wonderful children, the parents of my grandchildren. Whom have taught me much through the years and to all my fellow teachers that I have had the privilege of working?


INTRODUCTION
Discipline
We all know what discipline is. We all tend to cringe at the word, especially when it is focused on us. Discipline, just the word it self immediately causes us to lower our eyebrows and think negatively: punishment, wrong doing, bad boy, and bad girl. But yet we know it as a necessary evil in our lives. One we try to avoid, but never seem to be able too. Why? Well let’s start by looking at the definition from the Webster dictionary.

Discipline: (in) –n- training that produces orderliness, obedience, and self-control: result of such training in order, conduct; system of rules; maintenance of subordination in an army, school, etc. –train: chastise. Disciplinarian–n–Disciplinary. Training devises a tool for training.

The key words are tool for training. In every moment of our lives we are learning. So we are in training every moment that passes. No wonder it’s so difficult to avoid that discipline stuff. Too often as parents and teachers we tend to be so busy with our lives, routines, and schedules that we tend to grab that training tool and use it. If only we spent more time on the training.


Discipline

Let’s think of disciplining our children/students as if they were a beautiful vine we have planted in front of our home:

You keep it fed and watered. The vines begin to grow. You’re excited! A few days…weeks….months goes by, you have continued to keep it fed and watered. Then one afternoon you return home from running a few errands, and driveup your drive way. A soft smile graces your face. Your vine is in full bloom. You sit there in a daze admiring the beauty. The thin little smile graces your face grows as you gaze with amazement of the purple blooms against the dark green foliage. When suddenly your senses begin awakening, your eyes grow wide. As your eyes follow the lines of the vine you begin to realize it has covered all the windows on the south side of your home, crawled across the walk ways and is now trying to slip into your front door.
Frustration runs through your body, your mind starts racing, planning out quickly what to do. You reach out, swinging the car door wide open. Jump up and take in another disturbing view. Grab your things, slip in through the side door like you always do, and drop your things on the table. Pouncing out to the shed, you grab the cutting shears with focused determination. You’re on a mission! Rapidly the first areas you attack are the widows, chopping this beautiful vine away. Red faced, covered in sweat, you have the air ways to the windows cleared; it’s off to the walk ways. Chopping, chopping, and chopping away at this wild growing vine. You have finally finished, and cleaned up the mess.
Your back straightens, your shoulders rise as your eyes follow the line of this fresh cut vine. A soft smile graces your face once again. And as every good disciplinarian, you tell yourself, “I got that vine in control. The vines begin to grow. A few days…weeks….months goes by; you have continued to keep it fed and watered. Once again, being the good disciplinarian, you get out those cutting shears and chop it back. A few days…weeks….months goes by; you return from running a few errands, and drive up you’re your drive way…….you glare out at this growing weed…you begin to feel your blood boiling through your body. Rage floods your emotions. Your lips are pierced together. Your mind begins to race, what to do. You fly out of your car, drudge into the backyard shed and grab a shovel! All you want to do is dig a hole and pull it OUT!

Some of us, parents and teachers out there know exactly what I am talking about. That moment when your mouth spouts out, “Get out of my face! I don’t what to look at you!”, “Go to your room and just stay there!” “You need to go to Miss Brown’s class!” “Leave! Go to the office!” OH YES! When our routines, lives, and schedules are interrupted, we miraculously find the time and certainly know how to administer the tool. (Discipline). When growth and behaviors interfere in our daily lives, routines, and schedules, we always find the time and energy to use that tool. What about the training?


Training

Training, isn’t that where our focus is supposed to be??? YES! We are always trying to be responsible disciplinarians. But that’s not our job, not our responsibility. Training is our job and responsibility. Discipline is a tool to help us with our job as parents and teachers, (trainers).

Listen to this definition of “train” in the Webster dictionary:” Train” causes to grow in a particular way; educate, instruct, exercise; aim; follows a course of training

We parents and Teachers all share the same goals of helping our children/students to be the best people they can and to be successful, both socially and productively in our society. To be responsible people who can solve problems, take care of business and except their consequences when they fail and yet rise above to be better the next time. If we use the tool and forget our responsibility as trainer, we neglect giving our children /students the tools or skills to succeed in our society. Let’s go back to the beautiful vine you have planted in front of your home:

You keep it fed and watered. The vines begin to grow. You’re excited! You glide out to the garden shed and pull out a few tools, trellis wire, a drill, some screws, a screw driver and the cutting shears. . You carry them to the front of your home, and line them up on the ground. Slowly you step back, gazing at your home, carefully mapping out exactly where this trellis training wire will need to be. Your eyes are following the lines of your home, and your mind racing with thoughts. You ask yourself, “How do I want this vine to grow?” You map out the line and go to work, drilling deep so the vine doesn’t shift. Steadily you mount the training wire in with the screws, and tighten them well; trying to make sure it will be able to hold its shape. Once the trellis training line has been mounted, gently you begin to wrap the vine around the training line and trim out the wild vines. You check on it each day, always keeping it fed and watered.
A few days…weeks….months goes by, you have continued to keep it fed and watered. Then one afternoon you return home from running a few errands, and drive up your driveway. You see that your vine is growing rapidly and in need of more trellis training wire. You’re pleased, so you step out from your car, carrying your things into your home. Latter that day you prance out to the garden shed and take out a few tools. Once again you line them up on the ground and step back allowing your eyes to float along the mental map in which you would like to train your vine to grow. A soft smile graces your face. You begin to work, diligently, drilling deep so the vine doesn’t shift. You tighten the screws well trying to make sure it will be able to keep it shape, gently weave the new growth around the training wire, and trim off the few wild vines. You check on it each day, and keep it fed and watered.

A few days pass…weeks…months pass by. Once again as you return home after running some errands, you park in your driveway. Mesmerized, you just sit in a daze admiring your beautiful vine. A thin little smile graces your face and softly stretches into a full faced sparkle. Your body seems to float from your car seat, all the while your eyes are magnetized by the beauty of this beautiful vine. Gazing with pride, you admire the dark green foliage highlighted by the soft purple blooms. The vine seems to have followed the trellis training wire all on its own, outlining your home with grace and beauty. Your neighbor sees you and strolls over, complimenting you on such a beautiful vine. You glance over at your neighbor, nod your head yes, and as all good trainers do, whisper to yourself; “Good Job!”

Good job. Two words we all enjoy hearing from ourselves and those around us. But what happens if we do all of our training without using any discipline. A philosophy based on the free spirited type of training. Let’s go back to the beautiful vine you have planted in front of your home:


You keep it fed and watered. The vines begin to grow. You’re excited! You glide out to the garden shed and pull out a few tools, trellis wire, a drill, some screws and a screw driver. You carry them to the front of your home, and line them up on the ground. Slowly you step back, gazing at your home, carefully mapping out exactly where this trellis training wire will need to be. Your eyes are following the lines of your home, and your mind racing with thoughts. You ask yourself, “How do I want this vine to grow?” You map out the line and go to work, drilling deep so the vine doesn’t shift. Steadily you mount the training wire in with the screws, and tighten them well; trying to make sure it will be able to hold its shape. Once the trellis training line has been mounted, gently you begin to wrap the vine around the training line, and tuck the few wild vines underneath. You check on it each day, always keeping it fed and watered.
A few days…weeks….months goes by, you have continued to keep it fed and watered. Then one afternoon you return home from running a few errands, and drive up your driveway. You see that your vine is growing rapidly and in need of more trellis training wire. You’re pleased, so you step out from your car, carrying your things into your home. Latter that day you prance out to the garden shed and take out a few tools. Once again you line them up on the ground and step back allowing your eyes to float along the mental map in which you would like to train your vine to grow. A soft smile graces your face. You begin to work, diligently, drilling deep so the vine doesn’t shift. You tighten the screws well, making sure it will be able to keep it shape, gently weave the new growth around the training wire and tuck the wild vines underneath. You check on it each day, and keep it fed and watered.
A few days …weeks…months pass by. Once again as you return home after running some errands, you park in your driveway. Stunned, you just sit in a daze glaring at your beautiful vine, your eyes wide, and your body in shock. It’s lying on the ground. You slowly lift your self out of the car, leaning against the side of it because your knees feel weak. All the care and training and look at it. Your neighbor sees you and strolls over. “Wow!” It looks like the vine grew too heavy for the trellis training wire. Your eyes glance over at the neighbor, glossed over like glass, and nod your head yes. AS any good trainer would, you say to yourself, What Now!


What Now!

Many of us parents/teachers have experienced this feeling at one point or another. Just when we think we are doing great, something devastating happens. We can’t give up and just stop. We have a responsibility.

"I was watching this older movie the other day. Guess who's coming to dinner?" There was a statemnt made that went somthing like this...

"I owe you Nothing, You brought me into this world. It was your responsibility to do and be the best parent you could possibly be for me, to help give me every opportunity you could as my parent. Just as it will be mine when I have children. I love you dad and always will. But I don't owe you anything."


It really struck my heart. It is such a true statement. Our children do not owe us for being the best parents we can be, nor do our students owe us for being the best teachers we can be. It's our responsibility. Not a favor were handing out to be collected upon later.


Responsibility

We have a responsibility, to train up our children/students. To give them the skills and experiences they need to be responsible and successful adults. To keep our focus where it belongs, and use that tool (Discipline) where it is needed.
. Don’t you love that word? “Responsibility” Our Webster dictionary says,

Responsible, liable to answer for something: of good credit or position.

Sometimes I think it is the heaviest word in the dictionary. It’s that one thing we want to pass off on someone else. At times anybody really will do. But in reality, that’s not possible. Even passing it around brings back consequences. So let’s remember this:

Training brings forth knowledge.
Knowledge and values are ignited through new experiences
Values and respect are set into motion through guided training
Consequential discipline side by side with guidance builds responsibility


If we as parents/teachers learn from our training and train our children/students, to do the same. Accept the consequences, rise above and be better the next time, next day, or the next moment. We will guide our children on a positive path, and continue to grow as the trainer.

In a book by James Dodson called “How To Parent”, he says, something in the way of, “OK you blew it, the roof just raised up 3 feet and every neighbor 3 blocks around heard it. Get over it. Don’t get caught up in the guilt. Get back on track.”

Start doing what we know is right, be Responsible, Train.


“Discipline without training is missing our responsibility,
Training without discipline, misses teaching responsibility.”

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 08.02.2010

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