Nightmares Night and Day

I wrap a red blindfold over my eyes and tie it over my deep brown, wavy hair. Ignoring the few strands that get caught and ripped out by the knot.

I feel the cool metal of my blades against my palms. They always bring me a level of comfort, as if they are an extension of me.

Inhaling deeply, I try to push all thoughts out of my head but fail to. I listen to my breathing but all I can hear is Benjamin's shriek ringing in my ears and reverberating against the corners of my skull. His death flashing beneath my eyelids like an old black and white film playing on repeat.

It has been three years, and it's as if it only happened yesterday. Time has no meaning. Grief has no limit. Love is forever binding even when they are dead and gone.

You learn to live with the pain and the hollowness that follows. You miss that person as if your life depends on it. Even when your heart aches with each beat. Three years have passed, and I am someone he wouldn't even recognise anymore.

I had no choice! I confess to his ghost in my head.

He would inform me there's always a choice. A way to be better.

I throw a knife muting my inner turmoil for a moment. I listen to the thud as it hits my target. I picture the murderer in my mind's eye. I can't be better! Not until he's dead by my own hands! I scream to myself. I throw the rest, memorising where all the dummies are. Sweat drips down my back as I pull my blindfold off and judge my handiwork.

Bullseye in each dummy. Right through the heart. I smirk to myself as I pick up my boxing gloves, unable to rid the cobwebs of the nightmare that still cling to the edges of my mind.

I hit the bag, one punch after another. I swing my hips and kick, the bag rocks from the wooden beam above me, creaking in protest.

"Blue," Aunt Maggie murmurs, breaking through my wild release of anger, "enough!" She tells me. Her voice sure and direct yet she has never shouted at me.

She waits until I land one last kick in and carefully walks up as if I am a caged wild animal. Her blue eyes hold worry and a hint of wariness as she helps me to take my gloves off.

"Another nightmare?" She asks.

I grunt, confirming her query.

"Same one?" She asks.

I keep my eyes cast down. She touches my cheek, making me meet her gaze.

"I'm sorry, my sweet."

I shrug my shoulders and rub my face once my hands are free. Restlessness fills me as I grab my knives from the dummies and turn to find Maggie still watching.

"What?" I ask but I don't mean to snap at her but it comes out harsh.

She raises her eyebrow but otherwise doesn't call me out on it. "Come downstairs for breakfast once you've tidied up here. This room needs to look like I use it for storage. No traces of your stuff. There's a raid today and we need everything to be perfect." She turns and leaves me to it. "One hour," she shouts over her shoulder.

"Ok!" I call, knowing she will want a reply. I always get antsy when there's a raid.

Every month for the past three years we get raids. The Officers of the King search for weapons or groups of people trying to revolt. The citizens suffer because this band of merrymen believe they know better but all that happens are more laws and regulations. The King believes if you push hard enough eventually people will break. All of this makes life harder. Then again, life has always been hard.

Yanking the last knife out of a dummy I wrap them up in a cloth and place them in a box. I padlock it and hide it under a weak floorboard in the room's corner.

I lift each dummy, made of hay, and drag them to the corner of the room and place garments on them. It takes time, but the room returns to normal and its former use of a bedroom/storage room.

I struggle with the punching bag but manage to lift it down from the wooden beam. It's then placed into the cavity of an old sofa where it stays hidden from everyone. Quickly, I sow around the sofa after putting more filling around the bag and then shove the pillows into place.

I take stock of the room, the low ceilings and the wooden beams. The mannequins all dressed up in outfits for all types of occasions. Material overflows boxes and everything looks as it should for a tailor's shop.

I undo the screw that holds the punching bag. Throwing it into a box full of little tools we used to tailor peoples needs, wants and dress codes.

"Blue!" Maggie calls and my time is up. I race into my room and take off the clothes I work out in and pull on a dress knowing this is what they expect of a tailor's niece. I run out of my room and without a word Maggie helps me to lace the dress at the back.

"At least you now look like a girl who works here not a boy who seems to have anger issues." She winks at me and I laugh.

"I enjoy wearing trousers, it's not fair we should always have to wear dresses." I tell her, same old argument but it puts us back into our little routine of moaning about day-to-day life and stops us thinking about the raid on its way to us.

"You know I don't mind you trading cloth and fabrics in boys clothes, nor do I mind you training in them. But when you work here, in the shop, are the days you wear a dress. People expect us to and we have to keep up appearances."

"And, I am in a dress." I inform her with a smile, "even though it's killing me on the inside," I joke.

Her grin is the only sign to my comment. "Yes, you are in a dress," She smiles patting my cheek and making me sit at the table with her. She places my porridge in front of me and two cups of coffee. "Everything put away?" She asks, a twitch in the corner of her eye is her only tell to when she's nervous.

"Yes, I tidied everything up."

"Good, now eat." She smiles and sips her coffee. She ties her pin-straight blonde hair up into a fancy hairdo. All part and parcel of the dress code of this little shop we have here.

I eat my porridge and try not to show my nerves on the outside. It only makes Maggie more nervous.

"We will be fine." I repeat our little mantra we say to one another every month.

Maggie smiles at me above the rim of her coffee cup. "Damn right we are," her eyes twinkle despite the twitch of nerves.

"Always are," I finish our little pick me up lines. I'm not sure if it brings either of us comfort but I enjoy saying it.

Before we finish our coffees, the officers knock on our door and let themselves in. In this Kingdom, we don't have rights with officers. It's their way or, there is no or, it's just their way.

Silently we hand them our papers of identification and deeds to the shop as five officers come in and trash the shop. One takes money out of our till without a blink of discretion or sorrow. Maggie always leaves a small amount in the till but hides the rest. It's the only way we can survive.

My blood boils beneath the costume I have on. Yet, I keep my face impassive, my breathing even and my eyes cast down like a proper little apprentice seamstress.

"Cooperate and this will go smoothly and with little hassle." We hear things crash onto the floor. I wince at the thought of cleaning up after them. "If you've got nothing to hide, we will leave soon." The officer tells us as he takes the espresso cup from Maggie, spits into it, and then gives it back to her.

He saunters up to me, his breath smells so bad I can taste the foulness. He stands too close. Too personal. Bending his head, his eyes find mine as he grots into my cup. He gives me a grin of yellow teeth and I can see in his eyes he wants me to react. He has all the power and we have none. He grabs my arms and leans in. His body pressed against mine.

I force myself to stay still and shut down my feelings. I stand my ground. Promising myself I will not allow him to go any further. Maggie watches with wide grey eyes, I give her a look to stand down. She grits her teeth and nods. We can't afford to react.

We stay mute, Maggie avoids my gaze because she knows the anger I will see there will only put fuel on to the fire, so I keep my gaze lowered and say nothing. The officer feels my body. His hands pressing too hard and squeezes my small breasts. Hard. I am pressed against a wall as one of his hand's presses against my stomach, so I know not to move. The other strokes up my leg and then other. Presses areas that no one should touch without consent.

My hands itch for their companions. They itch to teach these men how to treat a woman, how to treat humans in the right manner.

"Paulson," an officer says coming into the room. His eyes meet mine and for a second, I see shame and empathy for me. Then the emotion disappears, and it's as if I am nothing. "All checks out. We need to move on, sir."

He stands back up and presses against me again, "Just when things were getting interesting," he hums in my ear.

I keep my face neutral and my mouth shut.

The men pile out and somehow, I keep my jelly legs beneath me. Hatred burns a hole in my stomach.

"I've seen that look before, my sweet child." Aunt Maggie says as she ignores the shop and the mess but comes straight to me. She knows not to touch me yet. She stands in front of me and waits as I block it all out of my mind.

"I'm fine," I tell her, my voice comes out strong and even.

"You are not to go out tonight, promise me."

"It won't change anything, Aunt Maggie," I tell her, a softness comes over me when I look at this woman who took me in despite the problems I cause her. Despite a lot of things, she stands by my side when no one else would.

"I know it won't change anything. Nor do I want to persuade you otherwise. Just, not tonight. Let me have tonight with you." She tells me, her voice small and shaky.

I look into her blue eyes encased in worry. I realise that she must feel ashamed for not trying to help. For not doing anything to protect me.

I pull her into a hard hug and hold on to her as she releases the sob she was holding back. "If you did anything, it would've made things worse. We both know that." I tell her, trying to take the blame she feels off her shoulders. "Tonight, we will spend the night in. We will play that damn game of yours and drink that Moonshine you have hidden. We will drink until it makes us blind and we can't move from the sofa." I pull her off me, so I can see into her eyes. The eyes of my saviour. I wipe the tears away and smile at her.

I watch as she pulls herself together, "That sounds like a brilliant idea." She walks away after patting my cheek and goes to tidy up. "Sometimes, I wonder who is looking after who."

"We take it in turns," I grin at her. She's got ten years on me, but I feel like she is more like my sister than my Aunt.

Bumblebee

 I keep my promise and we have a night in by the log fire. We drink until our laughs echo off the walls. We play games and reassure one another that all is ok in the world, as long as we have one another.
Maggie doesn't ask, nor do I inform her of my whereabouts of the following night. We both know, we just don't talk about it. I pull on a dark blue leather cloak that ties from my hips to my neck and then tug on special gloves which enable me to climb and punch someone because they are padded on my knuckles. I tie my boots, slipping a knife in there. I touch my knives on my legs and I feel at ease.
I swing myself out of my window and I disappear into the night. I use my special gloves to scale to the wall. Once I'm on the roof I stay low, knowing my neighbours are nosy and will report anything out of place, more out of fear than respect for the Officers.
I jump across the gap and land quietly onto another roof. I swing and slide down a pipe. I know where I am heading and I don't need the heights to hide me. I have the shadows of the night covering me. I pull my hood up and I lift my scarf over my nose protecting me from the cold, but most of all so people don't recognise me.
I turn a corner and follow my ears to the local brewery. The shouts and drunken cries can be heard from a distance. I eye the pub and notice a few rowdy men outside but they are not who I want.
I scan the street, looking for the best place to hide, and still be able to see everything from. I find a building perfect for what I am after. All the buildings this side of the Kingdom are rundown and sagging. Some buildings have even collapsed or lean on another structure for support. That or it wants to take as many buildings down with it.
The house I have chosen for tonight is leaning but not enough to cause alarm or worry. I can see people still living there, they get accustomed to knowing the level of how unsafe a building is. They don't have any other choice.
I run and jump, I bounce off the wall opposite and jump up and grab a ledge. I pull myself up and scale the rest of the way. I manage to get myself up and onto the roof without much effort.
I pull my hood back up after being knocked down from the jerk of me running. Broken items no longer needed lay strewn about the roof. I hunker down next to the wall of the roof and a metal box which was once used to generate electricity. But, not everyone can afford it or knows how to get it working.
Just the way the King likes it. The more you do for the King the more things you can have. Further education. A name worth something. More money. Women. More human rights. Your word is worth more.
All you have to do is sell your soul to him.
The King doesn't work with only money, he works with favours and blackmail. He bleeds you dry and then tosses you to one side once he's done with you.
Everything about him makes my skin crawl.
I focus on the job at hand and make myself comfortable. Up here, I am unseen from the world, as I watch it go by.
I check my watch as each hour trickles along. Eventually, the man I'm after comes stumbling out, an air of smugness and pleasure oozes from every pore. A girl comes running out after him.
"Sir, you forgot your hat," she calls and runs after him in her tall heels and a face full of makeup. I can see her goosebumps from here. I ignore the part of me wanting to sort her out with warm clothes.
"Have you come back for more, shug?" I hear him say. He pulls her in and kisses her without her consent. She plays her role because she has too, she doesn't have the same rights as he does. He is an Officer and she is a lady of the night. More like a girl, I think to myself. I watch as he pulls away and she smiles broadly at him.
"Go back to your wife, otherwise we will have a problem, sir." She kisses his cheek and then nibbles his ear, saying sweet nothings to him. He grabs her by the waist. His want for her is clear as day. He pushes her against the wall. His hands exploring areas that shouldn't be explored in the middle of a street. Even if it's outside of a brewery.
She whispers into his ear once again, his body craving hers and yet he pulls himself off her.
"I'll see you next week," he calls, as she walks inside. A thought pops into my head, but I push it to one side for later. I watch as he stands there trying to find his composure and then starts walking home looking pleased with himself.
I jump from roof to roof as silent as an owl gliding through the night sky.
Following him.
Stalking him.
Going in for the kill.
When I find a suitable dark alleyway, I jump from a good height and bounce off the opposite wall and then land on the ground without a stone being disturbed. Not even a whisper of a sound. I slide into the shadow of the alleyway and move under the bridge.
I wait.
He passes me and I can taste the stench of him. Just like before.
I breathe in, calming myself. Pushing all thoughts out of my head as I breathe out.
"Excuse me, sir?" I call, putting on the same tone as the girl from the brewery.
He turns, he grins from ear to ear. "Yes, darling? How can I help?" He asks, the smugness dripping off every word.
I slowly walk to him, taking his form and height in. "I was hoping you could help me?" I ask, trying to keep my tone easy going and soft.
"You'll have to do something for me first," he demands.
"I'll do anything," I call. I keep my hood up and the scarf around my mouth.
"Come here, my little beauty." He coaxes, his eyes betraying his eagerness. His disgusting nature of thinking he's better than everyone else.
I watch as he underestimates me. He thinks he can have me. Oh, how wrong he is. I keep my slow pace and as I enter into his arms reach, he grabs me. Pulls me in his grasp.
I was expecting him to. Hoping he would.
My knee goes up and I hear a satisfying, crunching sound. His breath goes out of him as he crumples to the floor. I pull his knife off him, a pathetic piece compared to mine, I throw it out of his reach.
With ease and years of practice my knife is twirled around and is pushed against his neck, "you will pass my message on and I'll do something for you too." I lean in, pressing my knee right into his sensitive area I just crushed.
I hear his whimper of protest as he tries to protect himself. I push the knife and pierce his skin. "I won't kill you," I whisper menacingly to him.
"What's the message?" He stutters between gasps of pain.
"Tell the King to sort his men out or I will."
"What do you mean?" He asks trying to stall for time so he can turn the situation around.
"If I hear of another incident where an officer grabs a girl without her permission, I will make sure he can never use his manhood again." I grin wickedly at him. Knowing I need to disappear already.
"And why will the King listen to you?" He hisses.
I force my knee down, applying more pressure. "Tell him you met Bumblebee." I use the hilt of my knife and knock him out.
He doesn't deserve me sparing his life. Whether he passes my message on or not isn't my problem. I'll track him and if he doesn't listen to my warning, that's his fault. Not mine.
I leave him in the gutter where he belongs. "Have a good sleep, Paulson," I call silently into the night. Hoping I will see him very soon.
I run back to the spot on the roof facing the brewery. Aunt Maggie is going to kill me if I'm not back soon.
Most girls and boys who work there, live next door together. Safety in numbers. The brewery has private bedrooms for people who want to pay for a good time and an escape but the workers don't stay there.
I wait for the girl from earlier. She comes out of the brewery and my heart goes out to her. Her shoulders sag from the long night or tiredness. Her clothing is minimal, she has nothing on to protect her from the bitter wind. She makes her way to her house. I'm glad she doesn't have to go far. Otherwise, I'd be tempted to steal the coat from Paulson, who most likely is still in the gutter.
I tell myself I don't care. I don't care for the girl or anyone. I look out for Maggie and that's it.
I watch her walk in and call out to a few different ones. She makes her way upstairs and lights up her candle. I wonder if she shares a room or whether she has managed to pay enough to get her own room.
I swing down the drainpipe and moments later I find myself climbing up to her window.
I don't realise until later, how creepy I could come across.

Breaking In

 

I listen by the window and I'm not sure if she's on her own or not.

I pull myself up to the roof and allow half an hour to pass.

The streets quieten down a little, but in this part of the Kingdom, there is always something going on. People getting up to everything and anything. No rules apply here.

Eventually, I think enough time has passed so I scale back down to her window and notice her candle has been blown out.

I push against the glass and the window opens easily enough. It creeks slightly and I wince at how creepy I am being.

I land on the floor without a sound. I can feel the air move. I drop and roll before I get clobbered over the head.

I pull my hood down, unveiling my hair and eyes. Slowly I pull my scarf from my mouth and stay in a crouched position. Hoping she doesn't see me as a threat. Then again, I have just broken into her room.

My hands are ready to block her attacks or to knock her out if I need to.

Her eyes go wide when she realises I am a girl. But doesn't drop her weapon.

"What the hell? Who the hell are you?" She screams as she holds a candle holder in the air. 

I force myself not to roll my eyes at her attempt to gain control.

"Stop screaming," I whisper, not wanting the whole house involved. My eyes dart to the door and see it's locked. "My name is Bumblebee," I tell her, keeping my hands raised and my eyes steady. If she goes for me I can easily knock the candle holder out of her hands.

"The Bumblebee?" She squeaks, lowering the candle holder a little.

I look at her in confusion.

"The made-up character people talk about so they don't give up on hope, the boy fighting back...well, I guess the girl fighting back against the King for the people who don't matter in his eyes." She whispers, her eyes wide with awe.

"I didn't know people were spreading rumours," I murmur, lowering my gaze and push myself up. Hoping she accepts this explanation and doesn't think I am a fraud.

"You're a lot smaller than I thought." She blurts out. "I believed you were this made up character, a giant who lived in the shadows and was scared of nothing." She rushed out, trying to explain herself, smiling sheepishly at me. If I knew her well enough I would see the embarrassment on her face. But I don't. All I notice is her radiant grin. It's warm and genuine. Even inviting. It transforms her whole face making her look a lot younger.

I give her a tender smile as I sit on her bed and shrug.

"Why have you come to me?" She asks as she sits really close to me. A lot closer than I am used to. Then again, I don't really sit with people and talk. I only do that with Maggie and she understands my boundaries. Especially, when it comes to personal space.

"Why do you trust someone who has just climbed through your window?" I ask instead, surprising myself for not answering her question and getting out of here.

"I am good at reading people. I have to be in my line of work." She smiles sadly. "You have kind and honest eyes," she explains.  "How can I help?" She purses her lips and fully faces me. "I have been with many women if that's why you have come here." She says as she cups my face, her thumb gently strokes my cheek.

Shock fills my body as I force myself not to react to her touch. I haven't been touched for three years, not without consent. I don't know how to react without offending her. My body screams at me for space.

It's ok, Blue. Breathe. Relax.

I close my eyes and breathe, "it's not why I am here." I tell her, I clasp her hand into mine, creating some space to breathe. "You're a very beautiful woman, how old are you?" I ask, allowing myself to be in the moment. 

"19," she grins and laces her fingers through mine. "Are you sure? I won't charge you. Your words are kind and you have a lot of tension in your body." Her voice is husky as she leans in but doesn't push. Just enough to be inviting.

I laugh despite myself, "I don't even know your name." I tell her as I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. Awkwardness crawls up my neck.

"They call me Lucille, but my real name is Maddie." She trails her free hand up my thigh and back down, creating little patterns.

I watch her hand stroking my leg for a moment. Part of me feels jealous of this girl who finds it easy to be intimate. Finds it easy to flirt and to be flirted with. I don't know how to do that.

I can't allow myself to do that. Not even for a moment. I no longer have that choice. Not that I ever did.

"Maddie, I am going to be honest with you, I have only ever been with one person and I am not looking to add to that number. I am happy with my one."

"I understand, our hearts don't give us much choice and I like how you don't betray yours. Whoever it is, they are very lucky to have you." She tells me honestly, she pulls back and doesn't look offended.

"I was the lucky one," I tell her sadly and then push all of my feelings down and get back on to the topic of why I am here.

Maddie watches me as I do this and doesn't say anything even though I know she can see a difference within me.

"Tell me my little Bumblebee, how can I help you?" She hums as she carries on stroking my leg.

"I was hoping you would exchange information about the people you entertain," I ask.

"You want to use me as a spy?" Maddie queries, her blue eyes find mine and smile at the idea.

"Only if that's ok with you? I would like to offer you something in return. I don't have much to bargain with but I can give you warm clothes in return for information? A coat or anything you want?"

"I need a blanket for my bed, I get very cold in the night."

"I will bring you one tomorrow night and we will work out anything else you may be worried about," I tell her, not letting her see how much that simple sentence makes my heart go out to her.

"Don't you want an answer straight away?" She wonders.

"No, I want you to think about it. I will come back tomorrow night. If you decide not to help, you will still get the blanket." I smile and stand up, releasing her hold on me.

"Ok, I will see you tomorrow night, Bumblebee." She walks with me to the window.

I turn and face her, the wild curly blond hair, the slim figure and those trusting blue eyes of hers, "Maddie, please don't tell anyone about me. If you see me in the street you have to pretend not to know me. Unless we meet officially."

"I'll never let anyone know about you and I doubt we will meet officially." She grins, shrugging off that fact with ease. "I'm happy to have you as my friend in secret."

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

"If I have a visitor tomorrow night I will put my horrible dead plant on the windowsill. Otherwise, my windowsill will be empty for you to come through." She tells me.

"Ok, I need to go." I put my hand out for her to shake and she envelopes me into a hug.

I force myself not to kick her off. I breathe and focus on making sure oxygen enters my lungs and then leaves.

"Stay safe, my little Bumblebee," she pulls back and quickly leans in and kisses me. I don't have a chance to defend myself. Her hand goes to the base of my neck and pulls me into the kiss.

I gently pull back after a second and grin at her, "It's still a no, but you're a good kisser. I would much rather be your friend." I lightly touch her cheek, in a way of showing my gratitude and growing affection for her.

I swing out of her window and up to her roof without an explanation.

"Good night, my friend." She whispers into the night.

I smile at myself and wonder what the heck got a hold of me tonight.

If Maddie can pull me in and be able to slip past my walls like she did tonight, I know I have chosen well. She can break anyone's barriers down. I will have an awesome ally on my side. One day maybe I can help more.

I stand on the roof and look out over the Kingdom. I have one quick stop before I head home.

I scale wall after wall and run on top of roofs as I slowly get closer and closer to the Castle, the centre of the Kingdom.

I jump off a building and use my cloak to help me to glide down to the floor. I land softly, scanning the area and I quickly run for the tree.

I check the hole for notes and come up empty. My heart drops a little, I quickly pull out a scrap piece of paper from my cloak and write a note.

I place it into the little hole. I don't allow any feelings to come through. They always threaten to overcome me when I come here.

Memories and moments spent here are probably the happiest of my life. I was a different girl then. Everything was simpler. I'm not sure if that's true but it was definitely lighter than it is now. Especially for me. Back then my eyes hadn't been opened.

You can't unsee something and you can't rewind time. The world is one ugly place once you've been made to see it for what it is.

I place a hand on the tree, giving myself a few moments. I grieve for the memories. I grieve for the happier times. But, mainly, I grieve for the girl who I was.

I turn away and run into the night.

I need to go home. I need Maggie.

I climb through my window. I pull my cloak off and then my boots.

I walk barefooted across the floor and allow the smells of dyes and fabric fill my nostrils.

I lied, I am happy now. I may miss the girl I was but Maggie makes all of the difference. She's the only person in this world who means anything to me.

I quietly open her bedroom door and enter. I allow myself to watch her breathing as she sleeps.

"You're late." She mumbles sleepily. 

"Sorry," I whisper as she opens her duvet and lets me slide in next to her. "I met a girl who kept me talking," I inform her.

"Tell me in the morning."

I snuggle closer, letting her know I want to be touched. To be held.

She kisses my hair and wraps her arms around me. She holds me tight and allows her warmth to heat my cold bones up. "You're freezing!"

"Sorry." I pull away but she just holds me tighter.

"Stay, I just need to hold you for a second. I need to let myself know you're safe." She tells me when she knows I am the one who needs that.

"I'm safe, I'm right here." I murmur.

"Good."

"I love you, Aunt Maggie."

"I love you too, my little daredevil." She kisses my hair again.

I can tell she's asleep when her arms relax and her breathing deepens.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me," I whisper to her, knowing she is too far gone to hear me.

I allow myself the few tears that come and then I roll over and succumb to sleep.

Con

 

I wake up and Aunt Maggie has vacated the bed. I give into a big stretch and pull the covers around me. 

 

"Don't you dare go back to sleep!" Is all I hear. I turn over to find Maggie looking at me from the door. 

 

"I'm tired," I moan. 

 

"You know the rules. When you go out at night, you still have to work. No exceptions." She places a cup of coffee on to the bedside table and sits on the bed by my feet. 

 

"Thank you!" I sit up and grab the coffee. 

 

"I take it you went to the tree last night." She watches me from above the rim of her cup. 

 

"How do you know?" I reply trying not to give her eye contact.

 

"When you go there you come back and find me." She says rubbing my calf through the covers. "So, tell me about the girl you met." She changes the subject knowing I won't talk about the tree or anything to do with that part of my life. 

 

"She's a handful," I smile at the memory of her holding the candlestick, "but seemed in awe of Bumblebee," I tell her feeling a little confused, I rub my eyes and drag my hair away from my face. "Apparently, people are spreading gossip about Bumblebee. From the sounds of it, none of it is true. This girl thought it was a make-believe story until she actually met me." 

 

"Bumblebee and yourself are someone worth looking up to." I give Maggie a look and she stops. 

 

"Anyways, this girl she is a prostitute," I tell her bluntly, wanting to see her reaction. 

 

Maggie spits her coffee out. "I wasn't expecting that. How did you meet her? Actually, do I want to know?" Her smile is contagious. 

 

"I was watching someone else and through them, I met Maddie, that's her real name." 

 

"You didn't tell her yours, did you?"

 

"I'm not daft." I retort and take a long gulp of coffee. "She's very... I don't even know the word. I guess you would say free. She's unique and quirky. I like her." 

 

"You always like the ones the rest of society shuns." 

 

I shrug my shoulders, "society can take a hike off a tall cliff. Plus, the people they shun are the ones who have more eyes and ears than the rest of the folk." I gulp some more coffee, "Maddie thought I had turned up to relieve my bodily tension....with her." I laugh at the memory. 

 

Maggie's laugh is sudden and throaty. She looks at me and then laughs again. "Please, tell me what happened." She begs. 

 

"I firmly told her that wasn't the reason and even then as I was leaving, she kissed me." 

 

Maggie starts laughing again, tears streaming down her face. "Ok," she says between catching her breath. "I officially like her."

 

I can't help to laugh along with her. 

 

She tries to compose herself. "So, what did you exchange with her then? If it wasn't for a kiss from you or a way to relieve your bodily tension. What was the bargaining chip?" She asks. 

 

Maggie doesn't mind talking about the funny side of what I do but she prefers not to know about the dangerous side. 

 

"In all honesty, I think she would trade freely. I got the impression people aren't nice to her." I murmur, not finding it funny anymore. "She wants a blanket because she gets cold at night," I tell Maggie which instantly sobers her laughter. 

 

"We have plenty of leftover materials that we can use. I even think we have one partially made. But, we need to get our orders done first." She informs me as she stands up. 

 

"I know, work first and then I can make the blanket." 

 

"We will make it." She smiles and leaves the room. 

 

I down the rest of the coffee and pull on a dress for the rest of the day. 

 

I remember to put my knives away before I go downstairs. I couldn't be bothered to do it last night. I wrap them up and hide them before the day begins. I hang my clothes and place my cloak into a box. 

 

"I've been thinking," Maggie starts as she hears me entering the all in one room. We have this room and our bedrooms and even they are used for storage. 

 

We are a lot better off than most. In our bedroom, we have a lot of materials and mannequins but at least we have our own space. Aunt Maggie had to move a lot of things around so I could stay with her. 

 

"I've never liked you saying those words," I quip with a little smirk. 

 

"Bumblebee is finally getting attention, but I think you need to calm it down a little." She meets my eye and I can tell she worries about me. 

 

"I promised Maddie I would give her the blanket tonight. But, I agree with you. Bumblebee needs to disappear for a few weeks." I smile as she places Porridge in front of me. She sits opposite and starts eating her breakfast. 

 

"That's fine, Maddie needs a blanket. After that, we will go back to it just being us for a little while. I have a feeling something is changing and we need to see what it is before you move forward." She tells me, and there's been enough of these gut feelings for me to trust her completely. Without them, I'd trust her with my life and would do anything she'd ask of me. 

 

"That's good enough for me. What's the plan for today?" I ask, knowing that the conversation is over.

 

"Mrs Weller will be in today so her outfit needs to be finished. She's a big client and has a big mouth. So, let's get those posh people in." 

 

"I hate the high society people." 

 

"I know, but it brings us money in and we get to eavesdrop as much as we like. That or she moans away to us about how difficult life is for the spoilt." She smiles devilishly at me. 

 

"It's taken three years but I think I am finally rubbing off on you Aunt Maggie." I finish my Porridge and head to the shop. 

 

I check myself in the mirror and adjust my hair clips. I smile and the day is set. 

 

Aunt Maggie opens the shop and we get to work on Mrs Weller's order. Apparently, Aunt Maggie was quite surprised to find out I could sew. Which even to this day I take offence over. I may be good with a knife and running around the Kingdom like a lunatic but that doesn't mean I'm not good at girl's stuff too.

 

I even enjoy sewing. Mostly. My mind settles and everything just blurs away. I just focus on the task at hand and all of my problems slip away. 

 

The door jingles and I place my things down to walk into the shop so I am seen.

 

Maggie is already in there but I pretend I am after something just so I can keep an eye on everything. 

 

I listen as Maggie talks away to the customer. 

 

He tells her what he needs and passes her a jacket to be fixed up. 

 

"I need it to be done now." He demands. 

 

"I'm sorry, sir. The quickest I can do it is by tomorrow evening." She informs him with more politeness than I could muster. 

 

I take him in, he's in his late thirties, he has broad shoulders. Nice strong jawline. His black hair is slightly receding. He seems rather built beneath the coat he is wearing. I peg him as a middle-ranking officer and definitely a married man. 

 

"That's not good enough. I need it done for tonight!" He shouts. 

 

I look up and edge closer. 

 

"Sir, if you please could lower your tone." 

 

"I will not!" He booms. "If you don't get this done by the end of the day I will..." 

 

"You best not finish that sentence," I warn him. 

 

"Or what?" He challenges, swivelling on me. 

 

I smile sweetly at him, I picture Maddie as Lucille and try to imitate her. I saunter up to him walk around the counter that Aunt Maggie is behind. 

 

I lean against the counter and touch his arm. "If you finish that sentence then how can I sort that jacket out for you?" I ask, flipping my hair and looking at him beneath my eyelashes. 

 

I watch as blood rushes into his cheeks. I don't take my eyes off him for a second. 

 

"Do you mind if I measure the top half of your body?" I ask. 

 

"Of course not," he smiles, his eyes lighting up with appreciation. 

 

"Thank you, please head this way." I lead him to the part of the shop that holds a mirror. "I do apologise, our shop isn't very big but I will make sure your jacket is good as new. Unfortunately, I will have to charge more due to how quick you are wanting it." 

 

"That's no issue, ma'am." He smiles over his shoulder. 

 

Maggie looks at me and smiles. The angry ones are always easy targets. A bit of charm and they are yours. 

 

I measure his back and shoulders. Writing them down as I go. 

 

"So, why the need for the rush?" I ask as I move to face him. 

 

"I'm an officer." He says pushing his chest out proudly. 

 

"One of the nice ones or not so nice?" I ask as I gently measure his chest and grin up to him. 

 

His smile comes easily, "depends." He replies, his face leaning towards mine. 

 

I quickly dodge him as I measure the length of his torso. 

 

"So, I take it you're trying to impress someone?" I press. 

 

"My boss, he's a tough man to please but I want to be a lieutenant. I want to be in charge. To lead my own men." He tells me trying to impress me. 

 

He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear. 

 

I ignore the impulse to chop his arm off and smile. "Keep still, I need to measure your arms next." 

 

"Has anyone ever said you're beautiful?" He asks, trying to be smooth. 

 

"Arms down please." I stroke down his arm and measure it. I do the same with the other arm. 

 

"We are done." I smile as I write the last measurements down. 

 

"Could I take you out, just me and you?" He asks, stroking my arm.

 

I tell him my price and he hands the money over without a second thought. 

 

"I would love that but we have two problems," I inform him. 

 

"Oh?" 

 

"For one, you're married." I watch as his face pales slightly. "And I am not the type of girl to go for another woman's man. Secondly, the way you spoke to my Aunt was rude and I don't appreciate rude men." 

 

I pick up his jacket and lead him towards the door. 

 

"But, I will make sure you're the best-dressed man at the party." 

 

"Thank you," he says nodding his head at me. 

 

"Sir? I'm happy to help in any way, but don't ever speak to my Aunt the way you did today." I tell him as I open the door for him. "I'll see you tonight." 

 

"You probably just lost us a future customer." Aunt Maggie calls. 

 

"Good! I won't have people disrespecting us and then treating us nice as soon as they think they've got a shot with us. People should be respectful no matter what." I reply back as I turn to face her. 

 

"Don't start on me Blue, you know yourself that life isn't kind. People in this world aren't respectful or caring. We have to adapt and get on with it." 

 

"Why should we?" I whisper. 

 

She quickly dances around the furniture and gathers me into her arms. 

 

"My little Bee, we have to be tough because this world is tough." She kisses my forehead, forgetting that I am 19 and not a child anymore. "Be kind to the people who deserve it and until then be tough to protect yourself." She smiles and then after ruffling my hair she goes back to work. 

 

I grab the gentleman's jacket and quickly get to work, wanting to get this order out of the way. 

 

I make sure all of my stitches are perfect. I dust the jacket off and smile at my handiwork. He will look good this evening. Whether that will impress his boss or not is a different matter. I remind myself to finish Mrs Weller's outfit before I move onto the blanket for Maddie. 

 

Give me the Maddie's of the world rather than that gentleman, I think to myself as I get to work.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 09.06.2019

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