Chapter 1
Deducted negativity....
“I am crazy about her, man!” I finally managed to say.
Garfield, a Hollywood star and a friend, sat listening while assaulting every edible item on his way......
“See, I am Andrew Garfield. A hot brand. Whatever I say is the universal truth, get it in your “Indi-doc” head! I say, go get her!!!!”
Amanda Miller, a certain arena of the brightest projections and the starriest luminescence, had, with a certain effortless swoon, cried ‘Cupid’ on my heart. My basic philosophies, hatred and death being the core subjects, had been washed away by the slightest drop of the hard- hitting, morose winter rain itself! I was a little pre-occupied to reply to the melancholy (the ignorable and the oblivious) precipitation.
It was never really my idea of the so-called “additional burden”. My parents would cry foul, the society will despise me. I would remain an isolated league in the bustling community back at India.
But the land and along with it the odd billions were a little too far away! My aspect of humbleness and of course, pessimism was a little too far away! Pessimism did not become me, as of now.......
The room felt hot enough. Of course, Andrew’s 7 star preoccupations! He had been very helpful and supportive...god, if I could fix another thousand legs and get the accorded thousands of Andrew, life would have been much better.... but that is not how life works. Life is not your self- proclaimed presumptuousness....
I suddenly came back....
“Hey philo, leave man! It’s pretty much time!”
He added, a sober cough conceded,” listen; bro.... no matter what, tonight does not end without Amanda on your shoulders! Right? ”
“Yeah!” I said feebly. I was scared to death.
“You need a CAR, doc! Chevy or that BMW?”
Andrew knew my choices in cars...
“No man, the FERRARI!!!”
My voice with rejuvenated vigor which shocked every mantelpiece in the room, Andrew included. He had that nasty, wry smile on his lips, depicting the very nastiness on my task that was to follow.....even injuries needed to be grappled...
I left Andrew’s mansion with the monster...cold wind hit the windshield..... The bustling crowd, the blaring horns, the KFC ad, the lingerie model, left me soon.....
I locked the door.....adjusted my tie...
Took a deep breath....
The cold wind embraced my body.......I shook at the sight of a girl fast approaching me....
Kind gestures, an awful lot of beaming; rather generously.....
She made it here; saw the monster, ignorantly....
She tried to kiss my cheek..... I had other plans....
Our lips met...I thought I saw the sun in the cold, wintry night....I shut my eyes, my fear... slowly removed my lips......
She kissed me back..........


Chapter 2
The melodramatic intimation
“Get the sachets ready; an hour. Heartbeat stable nearly.....lungs working....one kidney down....a dialysis will do.....Mac, get the scissor work done,” I mumbled before leaving....
I saw the pale face of the patient’s loved ones...somehow, it made me sick....I quickly left...
Out of the front door of St. Michael’s general hospital and research centre came out a youth, tall, fair, a Harvard graduate, Indian...... the youth took of his glasses...I put it in my bag.
What I later saw was a light brown tinge of a small part of New York.... smile handcuffed me at the thought of what was to follow... my ray bon sparkled in the endless sun.....
*********************************************
The evening sky at Brooklyn had light enough for my Emperio Armani to pass muster....but what really did pass everything else was Amanda’s gown...the endless gleam.....
My parents did not know and neither did anybody who had any comfortable reservations with “no Anglo...no foreigner” or my parents, for that matter.....parents were eked out by countless relatives; as I thought.... the thought soon vaporized... I turned back and suddenly, without the slightest gesture....asked a straightforward question...... on one knee.... she assented...... I heard the perfect music...... my imagination went over the top..... We were grabbing each other.... at the the bridge....at the mall......at the BED; naked.....
She was staring at me... the diamond had cut short my expenditures but it was worth it....... it perfectly matched the sheer enigma which alights Amanda; gives her a definition..... I stared at her; her body..... a sudden bedazzling something blinded my eyes... I felt the warmth of the moistened lips..... the essential softness at the right areas......it was slow; smooth...... we tried it.... it was tough to enter the place....rigorous and certainly, vigorous activities followed....she cried out.... was myself groaning in the pain; the excitement......... I kissed every available part....bit her nose; ears..... The pain grew unbearable.... nothing could stop us now.... suddenly, I felt something leave my body to enter hers.....the after- effect lasted quite firmly.... gradually subsided...... I kissed her again... I gained solace at the fact that there were minimal chances of fertilization.....we were tired....we remained undressed for the remaining night....


Chapter 3
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[untitled][[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[
We married.... my parents were hesitating participators..... The malice, the uneasiness gradually erased its clarity....after a few months, everything was back to normal..... Just that my parents gave me up as lost; nearly! They remained determined to show the ‘evil glare’ of the ‘alien’ who had ‘enchanted’ me with ‘black magic’.....and much more shit.....
I, passing a heavy test of opposition from Amanda changed my cell no.........a couple of years passed......
**********************************************
“Amanda, shoelace!” I screamed.
“Here, honey!”...
I kissed her whole heartedly....... took every love within my reach...went low; deep....
“Okay; okay”.....Amanda shoed me away....
“Bye, sexy!”
“Bye, handsome!”
My wife was expecting a baby three months later...well, so did I!!!!!!!!!!!!
Riley, my neighbor blared that menacing horn.....avisek bandyopadhyay, the Indian doc with a knack for perfect execution left the country later that day....

******************************************************************
“Do it, man... and Walsh, we need to visit Cardiff later this month... we need the papers from Austin to sign..... What about Seinfeld?”
“I’ll do it, sir...” my cell vibrated..... Unknown number... us, from us...... I thought about Amanda.... perhaps her fever is down now......a male spoke, after six months........
************************************************
I typed the number that had once been mugged like hell.....well, even now... the old woman, prone to crying, spoke with a depiction of melancholy in her voice......
“Hello, who is it?” she said in Bengali.....
“Avi...avi..... avisek,” I managed....
“My son, my son.” She broke down...... I waited for her to stop. She now said” where were you all these days... I was so worried about you....”......
I spoke in a cold, soft tone,” maa, Amanda died of lung cancer yesterday night”............the high- pitched wail ‘blinded’ my ears...... the fresh hot tears slowly spread throughout the marble...the phone clattered there... I broke down...pessimism gripped my soul again, crumbling it into pieces....................................


Chapter 4
Nirvana

I made my self-censured exile......Garfield had adopted my daughter... I forced him to do so. I never wanted my daughter to know that I exist...” she looks just like Amanda”, Garfield had once said.
Amanda, a certain projection of the brightest nature, looked at me through her mutilated eyes..... I maintained my distance with my daughter. She now stayed at California, now a teenager...I send her money and all....but thought that she deserved the best life...
The bitter taste of linkin park suddenly gripped me. I had to print ID cards for the university’s sake. It was morning already!
**********************************************************
Dr. Bandyopadhyay took the central stage at Columbia University.
I was really known for the unconventional way of teaching which also claimed the title of “Mr. Perfectionist”....I worked part time as a professor at Columbia’s medical department.
“Sophie, why do you look up while seeing me?”
“I see with my eyes, Sir. Moreover, fovea centralis is the area of best vision due to its high concentration of Iodopsin pigment.”
“Smart. But again-----“
“Not too smart” the class said in chorus.
I spoke again- “conditioned reflex”...... the class began....
************************************************************
I decided to take a detour. The “peter” episode was still an hour away.
Suddenly, everything came back to me. There she was. She was rushing in this direction.
“Amanda?” I asked.
“Sorry, Sir!”
I regained my senses.
“Oh, I am sorry.” I later added “I mistook you for someone else...”
“But did you say Amanda?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Strangely coincidental..... My mom’s name was also----“she wet her eyes.
“Oh, I am sorry,” trying hard to control myself. Should I say, Elizabeth, don’t cry? That you have a father?
She regained her original form. We slowly started to part ways... I called back, without turning...
“Elizabeth, you do have a father anyway, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do.” Andrew had convinced her then.
“His name....”seeking confirmation.
“Avisek Bandyopadhyay”......I fought a losing battle with emotions... I did not turn back; I could not lose hope...
“Sir, how do you know my name?” she went on....
“Did you ever meet him?” I changed the topic...
“No.....Andrew Garfield is an uncle of mine... he said that my father stayed somewhere in England.....never seen him, though. Sir, how do you know my name?”
I played old school,” Best of luck for your med-school career....id card lacks the posh outlook, though!”
“Oh...” she laughed at her fallacy...I breathed easy again. Andrew had kept his word but not taken away my identity.
“Sir, do I know you?”
I was not prepared to answer this.... should I fetch her truth right now.......or should I stick with my philosophies....I was an intoxicated drunkard, a professor too.....wanting to die ......all of these rejuvenated my spirit, my unquestionable spirit.....
“No, you don’t,” was all I said.
She was still standing there, I could tell. I quickened my pace, till I lost her. I wanted her to get the best; I would be a worthless discovery....would better remain a stranger. Suddenly, my cell rang. I started,” hello”.
“You felled your bunch of identity cards....freshly painted too! Must have been due to your sudden explorations, Sir! So when do we meet, dad?”
She had certain blend of mocking modulation in her voice at the last word. A distant reverberation hit me.
I did not reply....
The bustling crowd, the blaring horns, the KFC ad, the lingerie model...nothing left me. I realized I belonged there. She tried calling again. I switched the cell off. I knew of her immortal perseverance by some strange alloy of brass and a little too much of love and other materials...she was my daughter after all; unquestionable spirit....these were too much of stuffs to gulp down...in a single day....but, I thought, should this be happening.... I had sent her to California....to stay away from me.....far away.......
She had to come back, someday.... the road was waiting for my footsteps... the cross- roads was waiting for the intervention..... The conversation... the ID cards falling.....Andrew’s mansion.....the Ferrari....her kissing back...her DEATH.......and the endless traffic....................it was decided thousands of years ago by some impartial tribunal......divine interference? I simply did not know....my mom had taught me thousands of years ago.....”Whatever god does is for the greater good”...so is it god or just a big coincidence...or something greater than both? ..... So what was I, a doctor, the elite group member of Indian Harvard graduates? Or does it consist of a bad son, a worse husband and the worst father? Everything came back to me.... the angry feeling... the helpless feeling.... some immediate assistance from any female.... to slowly gulp it down......Elizabeth was my daughter; my only daughter....... was it right leaving her a practical orphan ?
There may come many opportunities; there were stories to be told, confessions to be made.....
“Soon,” I said to myself.........I laughed... I had defeated pessimism......I laughed at my defeated pessimism.......
I got ready to explore the deepest areas of this never-ending crowd.....deep down I knew that I had not killed pessimism once and for all.... it would make its return..... I went back thousands of miles back.....my hometown.... my room... my mom, all sweaty with the household, said,” too much of anything is bad.”.....in my mind, I begged for its return, for another adventure.....this time I would be ready.....I overdid my smile........fused with the people....
I caught a favorite tune.........

-----------------------Avirup Bandyopadhyay..............

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