Table of Contents

Forward I – December 2006 5

Forward II – February 2009 7

Chapter 1 – From Altar Boy to Atheist to God Again 9

Chapter 2 – Bear Cubs 16

Chapter 3 – Clues From Our Creator 22

Chapter 4 – Save the Pigeons 27

Chapter 5 – Give God His Props 34

Chapter 6 – Campfires & Clouds 38

Chapter 7 – God Within Us (Buckshot’s First Hunt) 43

Chapter 8 – Gifts From Above 49

Chapter 9 – Memories of Burning Leaves 56

Chapter 10 – Evy the Wonder Dog 63

Chapter 11 – Teach Your Children Well 68

Chapter 12 – Your Children Listen 74

Chapter 13 – Thank God for Dads 81

Chapter 14 – The Dribble Gene 87

Chapter 15 – A Loon Moment Christmas 96


Forward I
December 2006

I first introduced the “Loon Moment” on my weekly radio show, “The Green Hour Show”, which formerly aired every Saturday morning on News Talk 560 radio in Chicago.

When I broadcast the first “Loon Moment”, I really didn’t intend for it to be a weekly feature on the show. It was supposed to be a one-time airing. I had some “loon calls” recorded and sent over to the station and I wanted them to be played in the background as I told a story about a recent fishing trip up to the “Great North Woods”. The response I received to the segment was phenomenal; calls, letters, e-mails from listeners, and the station’s management, every bit of it positive. The “Loon Moment” was born that day and I swore to do a “Loon Moment” every week during the show for as long as I was on the air.

You’ll hear me explain what the “Loon Moment” is about often as you read the many “Moments” in this book. Since many of them are the edited transcripts from live show segments, I often took the time to explain the “Loon Moment” for the benefit of new listeners. In some cases, I don’t, so I’ll take a moment now to explain.

I gave myself a lot of latitude in terms of what the “Loon Moment” could be about, but generally speaking it was about moments spent outdoors, either alone or with people I cared about. The settings occurred anywhere, from the most secluded wilderness to my own backyard. The activities that spawned any particular moment were varied as well, from a week of backpacking with family, to a sunset shared with my wife. But whatever the activity, or wherever the setting, in the end, a “Loon Moment” always, well mostly, brought me to some realization, something larger than the moment or the activity itself.

I’m a very conservative guy and WIND is a very conservative radio station, or at least it was in its infancy. So it shouldn’t come as a surprise to any reader that many of the “Loon Moments” deal with a lot of similar and primarily conservative thoughts and themes. They dwell on the themes of God, family, country, friends, personal responsibility and character, all from my own conservative perspective. Some of them may seem a little preachy, but believe me, I’m not preaching, not by a long shot. Conservatives believe being judgmental is truly a necessary part of living. Not being personally perfect, or not always abiding by the standards you proclaim is no reason to discard those standards, throw out your ideals or stop making judgments about people’s behavior. We have to be judgmental. To not be is well, liberal, and we’ve all seen how well liberal ideals work out and contribute to societal well being.

As you read these stories, you’ll probably notice some pretty weird punctuation and grammar. When the “Loon Moment” aired on the radio there were pauses, exclamations and other types of verbal emphasis in the stories. I’ve tried to remove a lot of these during editing, but much of it remains as I tried to replicate the same emphasis in the printed word. The end result would make a bad English teacher cringe and a good one cry. Some have been left just as they aired on the radio.

“Loon Moments” comes from the heart, my heart, and they poured out of me easily and effortlessly. I’ve spent a lot of time in the outdoors, both by myself and with friends and family. During those times, I’ve come to understand myself better, I’ve come to appreciate friends and family more, I’ve learned to appreciate the power and the beauty of nature, and most importantly, I’ve found God in all His glory. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them.

Scott Franz - December 2006


Forward II
Added February 2009

The original “Loon Moments”, published in early 2007 was rushed to print. It was littered with a mass of editing errors and was cheaply and unprofessionally printed. To put it mildly, it was truly a writer’s nightmare and I wasn’t at all happy with the final product.

For starters, since a lot of the stories were actual transcripts of broadcasts I aired on the radio, there were the always present time constraints imposed on each story by the very medium of radio itself. While the station’s management never once placed any limits on me or censored anything, there were some self- imposed constraints in addition to those imposed by time. There’s just something about not knowing exactly who might be listening which seemed to temper my speech, not much, but a little. I can easily live with the knowledge I offend some people, especially liberals, but the possibility that children might be listening and perhaps misunderstand some of my rants and ravings, made me at least try to be somewhat cautious of the words and language I blasted out over the airwaves. I feel no such restraints in the written word. In any case, the sense of several ”Moments” being incomplete or needing something more was overwhelming for me, and it nagged me from almost the very moment it first went to print. It finally nagged me into making this revision.

Procrastination rarely pays off for anyone, and in my case, up until now at least; I can say categorically, it’s never paid off for me. But by a strange turn of chance, this time it did; at least from the point of view of a commentator. The current events of our day are truly momentous and transforming. The failure and collapse of our financial system and the resulting political events unfolding almost daily, threaten to obliterate the inspired vision our forefathers had for our country. Quite possibly, they threaten the very existence of our nation itself, at least as we’ve come to know it these past couple of centuries. If you think I’m exaggerating, I’d counter you’re not paying attention, and don’t recognize the truly earth shattering ramifications of these events for what they are. In any case, looking through the lens of today’s events, it becomes even more important our country hold on very tightly to our basic principles, those which have made this country so very different from all the other nations of the earth.

In the end, if we’re to save our country, I believe we’ll need to resurrect and re-embrace those principles and values; the values dealing directly with God, Family and Country, those which bind us together as a people and provide us with a solid anchorage in this stormy, turbulent world. Many of the “Loon Moments” you’ll read in this book speak to those very principles; and I’m glad for the opportunity to re-emphasize their relevance in these troubling and tumultuous times.

Scott Franz – February 2009


Chapter Four
“Save the Pigeons”

It’s once again time for what has affectionately come to be known as “The Loon Moment”. I know I often explain what the “Loon Moment” is all about, but that’s for the benefit of new listeners who may be joining us for the first time.

The “Loon Moment” is a time in the show where I share with you and, I also welcome you to share with me, some of the many experiences we’ve all had in the outdoors and in experiencing nature. The “Loon Moment” can be just about anything. It can be about a fishing experience, or a quiet tranquil moment you’ve had in the outdoors; it can be about time spent with pals around a campfire, or a sunset shared with a wife, or child or another loved one. But in the end, the one thing in common all “Loon Moments” share is either a greater appreciation for the beauty of nature and the outdoors, or it presents a larger life lesson learned from those outdoor experiences.

I’ve got to tell you that there are some exceptions to this rule, because, well, because it’s actually more of a guideline than a rule. And today’s “Loon Moment” is one of those exceptions.

This story goes back to my days when I was working as a city forester. Although my title was “City Forester”, you’ve got to remember that as a city employee, I was very often asked to perform duties which went, WAY, WAY beyond that of caring for the city’s trees. And this story is about one of those cases.
Before I get started, I think you need to know that I’m a big animal lover. I qualify that by saying I’m not a PETA styled animal lover, not a “We’re just like all other animals and we’re all equal” type of animal lover, but a normal animal lover. I think you all know what I’m talking about, because by now you should know that I love to hunt and fish and, you’re probably aware as well that I believe we humans, have dominion over the other creatures of the earth; meaning, in layman’s terms, we get to harvest and eat them if we so desire.

I want to continue to reinforce the notion I’m a huge animal lover before I get into the meat of this story. As you know, I’ve owned dogs all of my adult life and you’ve heard me tell stories of my dog “Buckshot”. To tell you the truth, next to humans, and they’re really only running a close second at that, dogs are my favorite animal on the planet earth. I mean who can’t love dogs. They’re always there for you, no matter what kind of mood you’re in; they’re always happy to see you. I mean they are just great creatures all the way around.

So one more time I want to preface this story by making sure that you know I’m an animal lover, and because I don’t want you to ever think that I could take any joy or pleasure in the pointless killing of any animal. I can’t stand to see injured animals or animals suffering and I genuinely like most animals.

Now with all that being said and cleared up, you’ve got to understand the animal kingdom is a big place and not all animals are on equal footing in my book, and not all animals generate in me the same kind of feelings. For example, I think we can all agree that insects are in the animal kingdom and yet they hardly endear themselves to us as they bite, sting and otherwise annoy the heck out of us. For me, an awful lot of reptiles also fall into this same category. I just don’t get all mushy and sad if I happen to see a snake that’s been run over by a car, in the same way I would go…..AWWWW…if you happen to see a dog or some other animal in the same condition.

Now one of the more confusing animal groups for me, at least from an emotional standpoint, is birds. Who can fail to be inspired by the great birds of prey like eagles and ospreys? And who doesn’t love to see hawks and falcons as they soar effortlessly over the tree tops. There are all kinds of birds I really like, and in case you’re thinking I only like the majestic birds of prey, I also like robins and sparrows and, oh heck, I can’t even name them all, all that I really like that is.
But THEN…There’re the birds that one could care less about and which you don’t really get all emotional about when they fly into buildings, or crash into plate glass windows or the grill of your car. Situated very squarely in this latter group of birds is the pigeon.

Now one day I’m out inspecting trees and I get a call from the forestry office about a bird stuck in a tree. Now I’m thinking to myself, “of course it’s in a tree, it’s a bird; where else would it be?” But anyway, I suggest to the dispatcher perhaps this was more of a situation for animal control officers than it was for a city forester, but apparently all of those officers were very busy elsewhere with really dangerous animals or something, like lions or tigers or bears, Oh My…

So I drive to the address I was given; it was very nearby a grammar school and there standing around this tree was an enormous crowd of concerned mothers, teachers and children, all standing in a circle around this tree. They were craning their necks and straining to get a better view of this bird; a pigeon that actually had managed to get itself stuck in a tree.

What had happened was this bird somehow had gotten its foot wrapped around what looked like mono-filament fishing line, and the other end of the line had wrapped around a tree limb; the result was essentially a pigeon on a leash, located about 40 feet up in the air in the tree.

I guess I was seen as the cavalry in this situation, because when I rolled up to the scene, I immediately got swarmed by the concerned group of onlookers who wanted the pigeon saved from its present predicament. I listened to all of their pleas and suggestions as to how to save this pigeon on a string. They ranged from suggesting I divert a bucket truck to the site, to calling the fire department’s hook and ladder, neither of which I was prepared to do for a stuck pigeon. I finally got talked into personally making a rescue attempt.

Now I’ve already explained that I really hate pigeons and I couldn’t have cared less about this particular pigeon’s fate, but with all those sad faces looking up at me and their relentless pleadings for help, I decided to do my good deed for the day and rescue the pigeon. I went back to my truck and got out a rope and saddle and start climbing into the tree for the rescue attempt. Now the higher I get in the tree and the closer I get to the pigeon, the greater the anticipation rises in the crowd below. I’m telling you, it was something you could really actually feel….

Finally, after a few minutes of climbing, I get as close to this bird as I possibly can, but the problem was this: At that height in the tree, the limbs were so small that I couldn’t walk out on them far enough to get close enough to the pigeon without having a branch break out from under me. So after thinking for a minute, I finally decided I could still maneuver myself just a little closer; maybe close enough to the bird to reach out and cut him free with the some hand pruners, which I happened to be carrying with me. So I struggled and I maneuvered and eventually I got close enough to the bird so IF I reached as far as I could to cut the little twig the bird was attached to, it could fly free. Now the problem was that the bird was still going to have the line around its foot and would now be dragging a small amount of twig with him or her as well.

The situation was what it was and I decided it was worth the risk. There was no way I was going to get any closer, and I had to make an executive decision right then and there. So, I cut the little twig and the bird that was now flapping around like a madman at the end of this line was set free.

The very second I cut the bird free, it flew off in a rush and immediately a huge cheer went up from the gathered multitudes under the tree. And I’ve got to tell you, at the moment that bird flew free of its trap, you’ve never heard such a sigh of relief and so many sounds of excitement and joy.

Unfortunately, the joy and excitement was extremely short lived because of what happened next. As the bird flew off in a flurry of flapping wings and to the sounds of cheering and clapping, it headed right towards a lamppost that was located on the corner of the street. As it sped past the post, which happened to be the concrete aggregate type, with a lot of little bumps on it, the line the bird was still dragging behind it caught on the aggregate of the lamppost, at which point, the bird flew in ever, small and smaller circles as the line wrapped around the post. It was kind of like a tether ball wrapping around the tether pole, if that’s what you call them (tether poles?) and this activity culminated with the bird smacking into the light pole at about MACH 1; the concussive effect killing it instantly.

Now of course this all happened in a split second and the roars and the cheers were still going on as the pigeon met the end of the line, both figuratively and literally, the cheers of joy and the sounds of excitement immediately becoming a collective sigh of despair.

You know I try hard to find a moral, or some life lesson during this segment of the show, and I know there’s got to be a lesson or a moral in this story somewhere; but I’ve got to tell you I’m really struggling here to find one. Maybe it’s something about how we should go out of our way to help, even if we don’t like or agree with those we’re helping. Or maybe it’s about trying to show a little more compassion now and then, even for those in situations we don’t truly understand or can relate too, or maybe, oh golly, I don’t know, I’m truly struggling here…

I generally don’t have to struggle so hard to find a lesson in my stories, but remember, I warned you upfront. I’ve already explained I’ve never been a big pigeon lover to begin with and I really felt I made a heroic effort to save the darn bird anyway. And I’ve got to tell you, the end of this pigeon, reminded me of the endings I used to see on Saturday morning cartoons and I had to stifle my laughter until I thought I was going to explode inside. It truly was a Wile E. Coyote moment from a visual point of view. So I’ve got nothing, absolutely nothing. No moral or lesson that goes along with this story, or if there is one, you’re going to have to come up with it yourself. I hope you have more success than me. And that is the “Loon Moment” for today.

From -The “Loon Moment” – January 6, 2007

Here’s what I would have like to have added:

I hope I wasn’t too hard on pigeons in this broadcast. Immediately after it aired, I had a caller into the show who reminisced fondly about the good times he had with his elderly Italian grandfather who raised carrier pigeons. I had to admit that perhaps I’d judged the entire pigeon group a little too harshly. After all, his loving memories of raising and caring for his grandfather’s pigeons and spending hours with him were the very essence of what the “Loon Moment” was all about.

How could I deny him just because they happened to involve a species of bird we commonly refer to in the Chicago area as “flying rats”? I just couldn’t. I probably had the only truly genuine pigeon lover, in a five county area, perhaps even in the station’s entire three state listening area, calling into my show. If it would have been a PETA nut-job calling in, I could’ve had a field day with it and it would have been great radio. Just my luck!

Speaking of PETA, I recently found out that they kill more dogs and cats each year than a bad North Korean cuisine restaurant. So much for the fuzzy warm pictures of pandas and grizzly bears; they couldn’t give a damn. They’re all about fundraising; pure and simple and they absolutely aggravate the living hell out of me.

They never miss an opportunity to raise money and if you notice, they’re never saving any ugly animals. See how much money you can raise with a “Save the Warthog” campaign. I hate to admit it, but I was listening to a “vegan” radio show today on Air America. I know, but it was for research; if you don’t listen to these idiots, you can’t get a real idea of how loony they really are. Anyway, they guy on the show was a true believer in animal rights whose job was with an investigative unit of some government agency. He basically said without naming any names that PETA, as an organization, jumped on every bandwagon, of every legitimate animal rights case for the purpose of fundraising; even though they had nothing at all to do with the case and couldn’t influence it if they wanted to. They simply used the exposure of the case to raise funds, misleading prospective donors that their contributions would help prosecute that specific case. What a bunch of frauds.

I proudly proclaim myself as a carnivore and I’m glad to be exactly where I am in the food chain. I would probably even go cannibal if we only harvested PETA members. I hear they taste like chicken.
Scott Franz – July 2007

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 19.07.2009

Alle Rechte vorbehalten