Convenient Love

by Asrai Devin

Copyright 2010 Asrai Devin

Discover other titles by Asrai Devin at Smashwords.com

Second Chance Romance (Free) Book One Up in Flames Series
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/2340

Summer Fling - Book Two Up in Flames Series
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/3117

Complications Over Coffee - Book Three Up in Flames Series
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/44645


Seven, nearly eight, years was a long time to be in love with someone, Penny Rogers thought. She quickly put her attention back on the books in front of her.
"Whatcha studying tonight?" Shawn asked. His movements were effortless as he slid into the chair next to her.
"The same thing I study every night." She looked at him through her lashes, hoping that her emotions didn't show. "Accounting. I'm only taking a few classes."
The bell above the door jingled as it opened. Shawn moved to the counter. "Hi Mrs. Richards. Can I help you with anything?" She came every night for a bag of chips and a soda.
"No, thank you Shawn Moore. And don't try to be charming."
"I wouldn't dare waste it on you, Mrs. Richards." He turned and winked at Penny.
Penny shook her head and pretended to be peering at her notes.
"Do you get any work done here Missy?" Selma Richards asked.
"It is harder on Saturday nights than during the day," Penny replied, lifting her head from her books. "Shawn is kind enough to take the bulk of the work, while I slack off."
"You should be doing something more fun. Both of you."
"This keeps me out of trouble," Shawn said.
Penny gestured at her papers. "And this will let me run a business someday."
"You're daddy surely plans to let you take over the store."
"Maybe. I think Shawn should take over."
"Well, don't work too hard. I always tell Tom when I get home that I worry you work too hard."
"Have a good night Mrs. Richards," Penny replied. Shawn echoed her words and Selma left the store. Much to Penny's relief.
"Don't you want to stay here til your dad retires and run the store?"
Penny made a face at him. "I want to run a business. Something more than a convenience store in a one-horse town."
"Penny it's the new millennium, there are no horses in this town."
"What do you want then?" she raised her eyebrows. She had asked him about his dreams before. Many times. She never received an answer.
"For you to get back to work. Otherwise you'll be whining by closing time that I talked your ear off and you never got any homework done." He pushed a book closer to her as he sat.
She wanted to press the issue. But she let it drop. She didn't want to upset Shawn. He was also correct; she had to get some of this done tonight.
If only it weren't so boring. She turned the page, poised her pen in her hand to make notes while she read.
Within minutes another customer came in. Shawn stood to assist, while telling her to stay seated; he'd let her know if he needed her.
Penny took the opportunity to watch him. As he moved and interacted with customers and her, she felt a familiar tightness in her chest. The tightness created the urge to go to him and confess or put her arms around him.
She fell into the familiar daydream. Closing time would come after a nice night of being together. He would have the days count done. She would have the store cleaned. They would be in the back and Shawn would turn to her. Or there would be one of those romance novel awkward moments, and they'd be inches apart And he would kiss her. Or tell her how he'd longed for her for ages, but he feared telling her.
She enjoyed the kissing daydreams more. If he caught her in the middle of one, her reaction was far more telling. Then he would tease her until she made-up a reason for it. Usually that she was thinking about a guy from one of her classes or that she'd seen around campus. Easy excuses. Ones she could claim to follow-up on but never actually do.
"Hey dreamy." He waved his hand in front of her face.
She slapped it away. The spark at the contact only occurred in her mind. "You broke my concentration."
"I interrupted your daydream you mean."
"I was thinking about liabilities."
"You were thinking about that guy. What's his name." He waved a hand.
A prickly feeling crept up her neck. She hoped that Shawn couldn't see it. Before she could protest, he laughed. "You're blushing. Now I know where your mind is."
Penny stood. "It's the heat in here. Do you want a drink?"
"No, thanks. I need my full paycheck." To pay the rent for the run-down house that he shared with his mother. Food, bills. Life.
She thought about offering to pay. Pride. She shrugged and opened the cream soda.
"The heat reminds me of the summer I started working here."
"It's almost been eight years hasn't it?" Penny leaned against the front counter. Did she look casual enough?
"Almost. You were a kid full of dreams. Short when I started. You stretched out that summer. Now here we are. You're going to college and leave this town. And I'm doing the same damn job for the same crappy pay."
"Hey, this place wouldn't run without you. Dad relies on you." She paused for a drink. "We all rely on you." She had no desire to do all the shit that Shawn did. Ordering, count-out, some scheduling, banking, maintenance.
"Yeah, great. That's what legacies are made of." He coughed. "I need more legacies in this town."
Pain flashed across his eyes. Penny held herself back. She wanted to touch him, to comfort him.
"To hell with what this town thinks. I know that you are a great person."
"Thanks darling." They shared a smile. And Penny felt herself melting. If she were sitting in his lap, she could melt into him.
The prickles crept back in. Fuck. She put the lid back on the pop. "Okay, while reminiscing is fun, I'm not getting any work done."
"All right. I'll stop replying to you for the next twenty minutes. Actually, I'll go and stock something."
"Just sit. It's Saturday night and you are stuck here with me."
"Nowhere else I'd rather be," he said.
"You're so full of shit your eyes are brown."
"My eyes are blue."
"Better go check a mirror."
"Get to work."
Penny nodded and bent her head.

Doug Rogers, Penny's father, leaned back in his chair. He looked at his daughter. "I'm sorry Penny. You won't be able to study full-time next semester. You'll have to change your schedule for a couple of evening classes like you've done for the past year."
"Dad, that's not-"
"NO it's not fair. But your Grandmother getting sick isn't fair either. I need you here. I need you to take your mother's shifts while she takes care of Gran."
"Dad-"
"It's not a discussion Penny." Doug looked at her for a long moment. "I'm really sorry." He turned away from her then, ending the conversation.
Penny controlled herself as she left the office. She conceded to slamming the door behind her. It wasn't fair that she had to put her life on hold for someone else. For everyone else.
A face flashed before her as she leaned against the side of the store. Shawn. He sacrificed his life to care for his mother. And he never felt sorry for himself and he rarely complained of the burden.
One more reason to love him. Something they had in common.

Shawn watching television. A fan in front of a pail of ice water made a poor man's air conditioner. A knock on the front door interrupted his self-pity.
His mother was playing cards with the old people. She wasn't an old person yet, but since she couldn't work, she was invited to play.
He opened the door, expecting one of the guys from the garage to be there. Maybe a case of cold beer in hand. "Yo. What the he-" Penny stood there. She looked vulnerable. And beautiful. It hit him hard in the chest.
"Sorry," she said, stepping back. "I shouldn't bother you at home on your day off."
He scratched the back of his head. He hadn't showered or even shaved. He was shirtless and sweaty. He wasn't fit to breathe the same air as her, but she had come here. "No," he said, too loud. "Sorry. Please come in. Just let me get a shirt." He held the door open to her.
She stepped inside and closed it behind her. "It's ten degrees warmer in here. Don't put on a shirt. It's not the first time I've seen you shirtless. We have been swimming together."
"Sit down. Do you want an ice tea or something?" The only other choice was beer. Or water. That was an option. Iced tea was his mother's choice.
He watched her sit on the edge of the sofa. The furniture was faded but clean. This was the first time she'd ever been in his living room. Eight years and she'd never been to his house. He'd managed to keep her at bay that long.
"No thank-you." She stared at her hands in her lap then lifted them to the television screen.
He stared at her. The silence stretched endlessly. It was killing him, so he asked. "Did you come here for a reason? You seemed upset."
"My grandmother had a stroke. She's all right now. Mom is going to take care of her."
"I'm sorry. I mean I'm glad she's okay." He searched his mind, trying to recall if she was close to her grandmother. He didn't think so, which made him wonder what had her upset.
"Dad won't let me go to school full-time in the fall." As she planned. Her great plan, to get the fuck out of town. He encouraged that plan. He helped her with it. Someone had to get out of this town. Few people actually did. If Penny did, it would be as if a part of him had as well.
"Well, that's just shitty. Why? Why not?"
"I have to take mom's day shifts." Her voice cracked. And he realized she was crying. Fear paralyzed him. He didn't know how to comfort her. His mother didn't cry. And no other female had been close enough to cry in front of him.
"I'm sorry," she said. "Where is your washroom?"
His brain scrambled to recall when the last time he wiped things down. His mother wasn't exactly the domestic type. He couldn't forbid her from going and he couldn't say there wasn't one, so he gave her directions.
She disappeared down the hall. Shawn grabbed a beer from the fridge. Despite the day's heat, he felt chilled after his encounter with Penny. He twisted the top off the cold bottle and took a swig.
The heat returned when Penny appeared in the kitchen doorway. "I thought maybe I had chased you away," she said. "I'm sorry to breakdown in front of you. That's unfair."
"Look at it this way: you get to work with me more often." He set the bottle on the counter. Humour and camaraderie should break the tension. And the air hung thick with tension. He tickled her side, the same as he had when she was a kid.
She squealed and jumped away. He held his hand in a claw. "I forgot how ticklish you are."
She tried to edge around him, toward safety. But he closed in on her personal space. Then he touched her in the vulnerable space between her hip and breast. Instead of finding freedom, Penny found herself trapped in a corner of cupboards and him.
He tickled her for a moment, until she begged for mercy. Then he stopped with his body close enough to feel her heat. His hands rested on her hips and she looked at him. They were breathing in heavy puffs. Exertion, he told himself.
She looked at him. And Shawn wanted to move away, until he met her eyes. Her eyes didn't look innocent. They held a demand that he take the physical play to the next level.
He took the challenge and pressed his hips against hers. Pinning her. He brushed hair back from her face. Her cheeks and eyes were still red. He lowered his head and brushed his lips right under her right eye. He could hear her breath catch.
And she raised her face to meet his. In fact, she forced him up a level. She pressed her lips to his. All his repressed feelings bubbled up. She had changed from the gawky, awkward eleven-year-old to this beautiful nineteen-year-old woman.
He could not dwell on her changes now. He could analyze that later. He needed to take charge of this moment. He cradled her head in his hands and tilted her slightly left. She was incredibly innocent. As if she had never been kissed.
"Open for me sweetheart," he murmured, pulling at her bottom lip with a thumb. Her eyes were hazy, but her lips parted. He took advantage and licked inside her mouth.
All his midnight fantasies, his hidden desires were culminating.
He had to stop.
He withdrew his tongue. Feeling him withdraw, she pressed closer. He pulled his mouth from hers. His hands dropped to her hips, not ready to let her go. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't ... We can't."
Penny shook her head. "Why? I'm willing. You seemed to- I was okay right?" She started to push herself away.
He pulled her tighter with a groan. Rock and a hard place. How to stop this without hurting her feelings? "You were fine sweetheart." Inexperienced. Didn't any of her dates kiss her? She'd had her share over the years.
"I haven't done that with too many guys. It never felt right." Yeah. "I was always waiting for you."
Shit. The place he was trapped in got tighter. Much like she would be. He wrapped his arms around her. Thinking about burying himself inside her was not helping. But he couldn't get the idea out of his mind.
"Sorry," she said.
"Don't be sorry, please." He released his hold on her then with one arm loosely around her shoulder, he steered her to the living room. He sat her on the sofa and moved away to the armchair. Space was good. He couldn't push her away while touching her. And he needed to push her away.
"You look far too serious. It was a first kiss. Celebratory." She looked at him. Shawn wished he'd had more than half a beer. She looked at the floor in front of her. "You're the only good thing about being stuck here. Unless you think of me as a little sister. But she felt nothing brotherly in that kiss, so I have to think you like me as much as I like you."
"It's not about how I feel about you," he said, interrupting her flow of words.
"Okay 'cause I've-"
He cut her off. "You're going to get out of here. Sooner or later. Sooner than me. And if we get involved-" He closed his eyes. "I can't give you anything, Penny. You'd only stay stuck here, working the convenience store."
"So? I didn't ask you to give me anything." She stood and looked straight at him. "Since I was eleven, since you came to ask for a job, I have been in love with you. Eight years. Nearly half my life, Shawn."
She stood and he could see her hands shook. She made fists so they would stop. She thought she was in love with him. He had loved her nearly as long as he'd known her, but he had no idea how she felt. He started to reach for her, then pulled back. No, he had to be strong.
She was so blindingly beautiful that he found it near impossible. "You think you love me now. But in a few years when you realize that you are trapped here. You'll resent me for it. Better you leave now."
She shook her head. "Clearly, I can't reason with you now." She started for the door. Then she stopped. "This isn't the end of this Shawn Moore. I won't let you go so easily." She moved and kissed the top of his head. "See you at work tomorrow."
She disappeared out the front door. It squeaked as she opened and closed it. He would oil it later. First he had to find someone to change shifts with. Forever.

Penny sat on her bed. She had done her hair and put on a little makeup. In a few minutes she had to head to work. She had to face Shawn for the first time since their confrontation. And that kiss.
She'd heard that he tried to change his shifts for the next weeks, but no one had been willing to change. He also had responsibilities at the shop that forced him to be there during certain hours. She knew when he would be there.
Then she had to consider the nonsense he spouted earlier. Resent him. Nothing to give her. What the hell?
First, she was trapped in this town anyway. Her parents were here. Her brother was here. The store was here. Her store. Their store.
As for what he had to offer- that was a bullshit excuse. She didn't want anything. Annoyance gripped her as she realized yesterday was the first day she had been to his house. She allowed him to put her off for eight years. She accepted his excuses.
Damn him, and his ideals. She didn't live in splendor.
Her parents owned the four bedroom house they lived in. And their furniture wasn't faded and torn. They weren't that well off, if their daughter couldn't go to college full time due to family emergency.
According to Shawn, they were too different to be together. But they were more alike than different.
Penny raised herself from the bed. To hell with her plans of getting out of here. To hell with everything. She would convince Shawn that they were meant to be together.
The only problem was figuring out how to do that.

Penny walked into the store with her head held high. Shawn stood behind the counter. Her heart leapt to her throat at the sight of him. She smiled at him, while focusing on breathing and walking.
She hung her purse on a hook in the office. She sat at the desk and waited until she calmed. Good grief, she had known Shawn for years. Even when he didn't know how she felt, she never felt like this. Now that he knew, she was twelve once more. At least that's how it felt.
She was being ridiculous. She forced herself to the front. A couple of customers were in the store, people from town.
She could see the gas jockey, Phil, at the gas pump, filling a car. The girl in the driver's seat leaned out the window to chat with him. To each their own.
"How are you?" she asked Shawn.
"Fine." He avoided looking at her. That was fine; they had six hours to work together. "I have to go do some paperwork in the office for an hour."
"Okay. I'll take charge. Work Phil's ass off." She smiled at him.
He kept going to the office. "Hey Shawn. Nothing has changed."
The look on his face said he didn't believe her words.
The evening was busy, as a result they weren't alone. At closing Shawn's ex-girlfriend, Monica, came in. Penny was sure her arrival was to push Penny further away. She didn't believe Shawn had any attachment to the ditz. Shawn occasionally complained about Monica being on the prowl.
Her unaffected manner was affecting Shawn. As Penny performed her closing duties, Monica prattled on about her friends and partying. At first Shawn pretended to be interested. But when Penny involved herself, he scowled. As Monica chatted with Penny, he became more grumpy.
"Good enough Penny. Go home it's late."
"See you later," Penny breezed. "Nice to see you again Monica."
Monica's dyed black hair bounced as she jumped off the counter. "Bye uh-"
"Penny," Shawn growled. "Let's go."
Penny didn't look back, saving Shawn from any displays of affection.

She drove home and went into the house. Her father was watching television. "How did the evening go?" her dad asked.
"Personally, a disaster."
He stared at her.
"Oh, you meant business wise. The store was busy all night."
"What did you mean?"
"I'm in love with Shawn."
Doug Rogers squirmed in his chair. "Should you talk to your mother about this?"
"No. I think this is good. I didn't think he liked me, so I focused on getting away from here."
"Why do you think he has feelings for you now?"
"When you told me I couldn't leave, I went to talk to him. And I'll skip the interim. He told me that he won't date me because of our differences. He doesn't want me to get stuck here."
"Like him."
Penny nodded.
"Is it so bad a place to be?"
"I didn't think I had anything here."
"The store?"
"Obligation to you."
"You are studying business."
She laughed. "I guess it's in my blood."
"Between you and Shawn you'd do well with the store." Doug sat back. "Maybe your mom's plan for early retirement and travelling is sound."
Penny looked at the clock. "Don't wait up. I'm walking."
"Good luck."
It was five blocks to the house that Shawn rented.
She knocked on the door. "Shawn's not home," his mother yelled.
"I know Mrs. Moore. It's Penny. I work with Shawn. Can I come in?" she called back.
"It's open."
Penny opened the door. She was nervous as she entered. She closed the door behind her. "Thank you Mrs. Moore. How are you?"
"Sit down girl. You're making me nervous. I'm well enough. How are you?"
Penny sat on the sofa's edge. "Good. I came to talk to Shawn."
"He's not home."
"He doesn't want to talk to me."
"You came to ambush him."
"Yes."
"Are you the reason he's been moping?"
"Fraid so. He thinks getting involved with me would wreck my life. I need to show him what a mistake it would be not to."
"He's been in love with you for years."
"And now he thinks he's not good enough."
Nancy Moore waved her hand. "I don't need the details girl. Do you love him?"
"I've loved him since I was eleven."
"I don't know when he'll be home."
"I'm patient. Can I wait in his room so I won't disturb you?"
Shawn's mother waved her hand.
Penny stood. "Uh..."
"At the end of the hall."
"Thank you." Penny entered his room. She closed the door and inhaled his scent. His clothes were scattered on the floor. Drawers were half open. The bed was unmade.
Penny nestled into the imprint he left on the pillow. She stared at the ceiling; prepared to wait a long time.
She was a little disappointed when he came home forty-five minutes later. She cursed herself for not asking that his mom not tip him off. She held her breath waiting for him to storm down the hall. Ten minutes later his heavy footsteps made her heart pound in her chest.
His door opened and he flipped the light on. Penny sat up in the bed. "Hi."
He jumped half a foot. "Shit. Hell. You scared the life out of me Penny." He slammed the door before sitting on the bed, his hand over his heart. "What the hell are you doing lurking in the dark? Does my mother know you're in here? Or did you sneak in the window?"
"She knows. I knocked on your front door then asked her if I could ambush you. Well, ambush was her word."
"You just don't get it do you?"
"No, not really. I don't get why you see all these differences. We are more the same. We have to sacrifice for our families. We work hard. We're intelligent. We're sexy. And we love that stupid store."
"I live with my mother. I have faded furniture that was around when I was born."
"I live with my mother. And my dad sits in a chair that he's had since 1979. Speaking of which, he and my mom want to retire early and travel. I can't run the store alone." She touched his cheek. "I need you."
"As an employee."
"As a partner. If we look at the store alone, I couldn't buy it by myself. Between the two of us ..."
His shoulders drooped. She was close.
"I don't want to be only business partners. I don't know how you feel about working with me and coming home with me as well. I know I'm not perfect. You like to go out and I'd rather stay home."
He didn't respond. He didn't even move.
Penny started to get off the bed. "At risk of annoying you, I'll leave you with that. And I don't believe any of your BS with Monica."
His hand shot out and grabbed her. "We could compromise." His voice was hoarse, as if he struggled to contain himself.
"On what?"
"Going out and staying in."
Penny lifted her head and met his eyes. They shimmered like tiny pools of water. She stepped toward him.
"I live with my mother. I can't change that."
"I wouldn't ask you to. I still have years of school left."
"When you are done you won't want to leave?"
She sat on his lap and leaned her head on his shoulder. "I only wanted to leave because I thought I had nothing here. I was wrong. You are here."
He lifted her head and pecked her lips several times. She laughed. "Kiss me properly."
"I don't know how. I've never kissed anyone before. Will you show me?"
She pressed her lips against his. He remained stiff. She shoved his shoulders. "Shawn. You aren't playing fair."
He laughed. Then, he framed her face with his hands to bring her close. She met his kiss, with parted lips and her tongue sought his mouth. His hands skimmed up her sides under her shirt, pulling it away from her. The skin on skin contact caused Penny to shiver.
"Too fast?" he inquired, brushing his lips over her forehead.
"I've been dreaming about this moment for five years. I don't think it can be too fast. But, uh, I should tell-"
He pressed his fingers to her lips. "I know." She was a virgin. She had been waiting for him. It was so cliché. She hadn't planned to, it merely happened. "We aren't going that far tonight, Penny."
"Why? I'm willing. I'm ready."
"I want to make it as good as I can. That takes time. For now, I want to hold you. What will your dad think if you don't come home?"
"He knows where I am. I'm an adult. What will your mom think?"
"She knows where I am. I'm an adult."
"What you are is a smart-ass."
"That's why you like me. Come on and lay with me."
They snuggled into his single bed. Penny kissed his nose.
"Penny?"
"Yes."
"I love you."
"I know babe."
"It still needed to be said." He was right.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 22.03.2011

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