Never Meant To Belong

My 2nd year of high school, new classes, new teacher, and new people. I hate school. I hate the people, I hate everything even myself (sometimes). Nobody notices me, its fine but sometimes it feels really lonely. I eat in 4th period history and my favorite part of the day is going home were I’m noticed.
The lunch line is long as usual even on the first day of school. It took 10 years getting to the front of the line and when I finally got to the front of the line they were out of pizza, which I mainly get because the rest of the choices of food they make look undesirable. I went straight to my class 4th period history, were I either eat or read a book. When I went in the class there was no one there, I went to the back of the class, Left corner seat by the window. I pulled out my book and started reading for a good five minutes until the door opened and the man that walked through that door was the most gorgeous man I have ever seen in my 16 years of life. He had curly dark brown hair, brown eyes, nice pink lips, his chin was a bit crooked, about 5’10. He looked 25 or 26, ohh and his smile was beautiful and his teeth were perfect and white. I wouldn’t mind being in this class.
“Hello” he said “I’m Mr.Posley, nice to meet you and what’s your name?” hid voice was kind of gentle but masculine and sexy at the same time. “It’s Amerie.” I said “That’s a very pretty.” he said “Thank you.” I said ‘Why are you not outside with your friends?” he asked “First it’s to hot to be outside and second I have no friends to hang out with.” I said “Why?” he said grabbing a chair, pulled it up next to me and sat down. “I don’t know maybe because no one notices me.” I said starting to feel sorry for myself. “Maybe it’s because you don’t apply yourself.” he said “I have, I tried. It’s just that no one wants to be friends with me.” I said kind of upset. “A pretty girl like you should have at lease 50 friends and 100 guys on your tail. Maybe if you take these glasses off,” he reached for my glasses and took them off. “And this ponytail.” Then he went for the rubber band and pulled it out of my hair. Then my hair fell to were it shaped my face. “See beautiful, a masterpiece.” He said with a smile that I loved. Then I noticed that I was blushing, so I looked down at my lap. “Thank you.” I said. Then the bell rang and he shot up and placed the chair back were it was in the beginning and walked to the front of the room, then picked up a piece of chalk and started writing his name on the board. I decided to grab my backpack and move to the front of the room were I can see the board and him clearly. Then he turned and smiled at me. People started walking in and a girl sat next to me, she was pretty. She had short brown hair and dark brown eyes with a heart shaped face that looked totally innocent. “You’re really pretty and your hair is long and pretty. I’m Anyla” she said then she reached her hand out, I reached for her hand and shaked it. “I’m Amerie” I said then we let go. “Hey, you want to have lunch together tomorrow?” she asked. “Yeah sure thanks.” I said with a big grin on my face. Then I looked at Mr. Posley, he introduced himself and told us about himself, like how he grew up in LA and he hated it there, that he’s 25 and NOT married

This was a big shocker to me, a gorgeous man like that. He must be gay, I hope not. He went on about the class and the rules until the bell rang. Everybody walked out of the class in a hurry; I was the last one in the room. “Thank you, you were right.” I said “It’s nothing, one point in my l felt the same way. Then I realized I needed to make an effort to, so I got my braces taken off and my pimples cleared then next thing I knew, I had all the ladies lined up and dozens of friends.” He said “Can I ask you something it might sound inappropriate but…” I said then he interrupted and said sure. “Why are you still single, I mean a guy like you should be snatched up already?” I asked “Well it’s because I haven’t found the right girl yet, that’s It.” he said “Now get to class before you get late.” “Okay” I said. He said “girl” so he’s not gay, thank god. The rest of the day went pretty fast, I made some new friends in the rest of my classes. I had a good day but all I wanted to do was talk to Mr. Posley, my history teacher. Why couldn’t he be just a student instead he had to be my teacher.
When I got home I asked my mom if I could get contacts lenses and go shopping. Of course my mom said yes, she’s a complete girlie girl. She loves going shopping and wearing make-up, I have my mom’s features but my dad’s personality. My mom always said I can sometimes act like a guy in a girl’s body, because I never really like to wear make-up or doing my hair. I love my mom, of course I do, and you only get one right.
The next day I wanted 1st, 2nd, and 3rd period to go by so fast but of course they went by slow. By the time I got to lunch the line was shorter and I got to the last piece of pizza and ate lunch Anyla, we had so much in common. When I got to the last bite I told her I’m going to class early for studying but really I just wanted to see Mr.Posley again. When I got to class, he was already there; looked liked he was correcting papers. I walked up to his desk and politely said “Hello” with a smile; he looked up at me with smile too. “Hello Amerie. How was your day?” he said. “In the beginning it, was kind of slow in a way but now it’s much better. What about you, how was your day so far?” I asked still in my polite voice. “It’s better now; my first 3 classes are hell.” He said with a chuckle. “I know I can relate, my first 3 classes are the same as well but I like this class the best.”I said with a big smile. “I’m glad to hear that, what you like about this class to make it you favorite?” he asked with the same smile. I couldn’t tell him it was him that made my day better, I couldn’t think of an excuse to give him, I knew I had to say something, when I was just about to open my mouth, the bell rung.
I quickly went to my seat, then I the door flung open and the class started to fill up. Anyla sat by my desk like yesterday. “Why are you blushing so much?” she said. I quickly hid my cheeks with my hands. I couldn’t even focus on the lession; all I could focus on was him. It’s like I was looking at his lips and not paying attention to a word he said. I was looked at his deep brown eyes; they were so intense and serious. I notice his hands, they looked strong, his fingers slender. He had great sense of style, the way he dressed made him look professional, and I loved it.

Then I realized everybody was looking at me. “Amerie can you read pg 51 please?” he asked “Ahh yes.” I said as I was reading I notice that the story was talking about a girl who fell in love with an older man and they ran away together. She ended up being a princess, so the king went on a hunt for them and had him executed and had her locked up in her room until she was married to a prince. She committed suicide on her wedding day, she left a note saying “To be with the one I truly love is worth life itself. Love Amerie.” “Wow, Amerie maybe she’s one of your ancestors. He said. “Can you tell me what the note she left behind meant to you?” “She loved him to the point were her life means nothing to her.” I said “Why did she kill herself on her weeding day instead of just killing herself before that?” he said “When her father locked her up, she had no freedom to make her own decisions, so she waited for that chance of freedom to make the decision that would change her destiny. That last day of freedom was on her wedding day. The day when her father let go of her and she took that chance and killed herself for eternal freedom, she loved freedom. To her freedom was what she really loved and she found freedom in that man. That’s why she runaway in the beginning, for freedom.” I explained. “What a great explanation, how did you figure that out?” he asked “In those times that probably what every princess wanted, freedom.” I said than sat down. He gave me a wink and a smile, I smiled back.
“Wow Amerie I couldn’t even figure that out.” Anyla said “Mr.Posley continued reading, continued dazing off into space until the bell rung. Everyone got up quickly and walked out the door, I was the last one out when Mr. Posley caught me. “That was a great explanation about Amerie, not one of my students ever got that right, your one smart cookie. A lot of people think it’s just the typical Romeo & Juliet story but it’s totally different, its one of my favorite stories. I was your age when I learned the true meaning.” He said “You make it sound like your way older than me.” I said I could feel I was starting to blush. “You know, there is a movie about Amerie, maybe you would like to watch It.” he said “I would very much like that.” I said then the warning bell went off and I started walking to my next class with a smile. I was kind of proud of myself, but I thought about the story for awhile, the girl ran off with a older man and he ended up killed and she committed suicide, not exactly a pretty picture but they did end up together in heaven. Man, I shouldn’t even be having these thoughts about my teacher, I heard about the Mary Lou case and I don’t want things to end up like that. I should switch classes, no that would mess up my whole schedule and I love last period art, the class is right next to the buses, I’m the first one on it before it gets packed with people, plus I love seeing Mr. Posley. I wish I was the same age so we could just get married, have a couple of kids, and live happily ever after.

After school, I made a sandwich and turned on one of my favorite movie, Titanic. Then the door rang, I was angry, somebody was interrupting my movie and sandwich. When I opened the door I was in total shock. It was Mr.Posley, out of all people Mr. Posley came to my house. “Hello Amerie, sorry to intrude.” He said “Its okay, come inside.” I said moving out the way. “Thank you is your parent’s home?” he asked with one of my favorite smiles on his face. “No they probably went out on a date.” I said with a smile. “Sit down.” I gestured towards the couch. He took a seat and so did I, next to him. “Titanic, a classic, one of my favorite movies.” He said “Are you serious, it’s one of my favorites too, I think it’s a beautiful movie.” I said “What’s your favorite part?” he asked “When he draws the picture of her.” I said “I mean the way he looks at her with love in his eyes catching every detail of her body, making her the center of his attention.” I said “That’s deep, ohh here.” he said reaching in side his jacket and pulling out a video. “Here is the movie about Amerie. It’s called “Cameo Lovers” wow you thank you, I’ll watch it as soon as possible.” I said with a smile. “No rush, I thought you should look at the movie, I mean what you said in class was really deep. And the way you said it sound like you really felt what she was going through.”He said, he looked at me with deep eyes then moved his face closer “well probably can relate.” I said. Then he kissed me, with his might, it tasted good like I dreamt, it made me want him more than before. Then he pushed me away and stood up. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. What have I done? You’re my student, I’m you teacher. I have to go, I’m sorry.” He said heading towards the door, then before I know it he was gone. I was still in a daze about what happened. He kissed me; my 25 year old history teacher kissed me. I couldn’t believe it. I got up and looked at the door, I turned off the TV and put my sandwich in the fridge and walked up the stairs, and I took a hot shower and went to bed. I wanted tomorrow to come as fast as it could, but I couldn’t go to sleep. My teacher took my first kiss.
The next day, my first three periods were long and time was moving slow. A part of me wanted the time to go slow while another part of me wanted to see him. I loved him, and I didn’t even know his first. When lunch came, I didn’t even eat, I was too nervous to. I went to the class but I didn’t go inside the room, I was too afraid of what he might say or do. I wanted to be with him but I knew I couldn’t, he was an adult. Why did I have to be in high school, why couldn’t I be an adult or at least in college?
I opened the door and there he was sitting at his desk reading a book. I walked up towards his desk, I felt like my stomach was turning inside out. “Hello” I said in a low voice. “Hello, Ms Stone.” he said in a cold voice. He never called me by my last name. “Umm, I was wondering if we can talk, you know about last night.” I said in quiet “I’m sorry, I need to hurry for a very important staff meeting.” He said getting, passed me and walked towards the door. “Please don’t ignore me, please.” I said with tears starting to rolling down my face.
“I’m sorry Amerie, but I know what I did was wrong. You’re a student, I’m your teacher, and I took advantage of you. I made a big mistake.” He said “I don’t think it was, I’m sorry but if you see that as a mistake, your lying.” I said crying. “Amerie, It was a mistake, your to young to understand.” He said walking closer. “I understand, I’m not a kid, so don’t treat me like one and remember you’re the one that kissed me, that wasn’t a mistake. You did it for a certain reason; tell me why you did it. Tell me!” I said walking closer to him to where we were face to face. “I don’t know” he said. “Tell me.” I said. “Amerie you’re a deep, smart, beautiful person, I wish I was younger so it wouldn’t be so complicated but I can’t tell you.” He said. “Fine, don’t tell me but can I tell you this?” I said. “What?” he said. I leaned forward and lightly placed my lips against his, and then tear started rolling down my check again. “I love you.” I said whispered. Then the bell rang, I wiped my tears and headed towards the door and then opened it. “Amerie come after school.” He said but he was looking the other way so I couldn’t tell what expression was on his face.
Once I got home, I had the worst headache in my life; it’s probably from crying too much. I walked up stairs and took my jacket off and boots and threw them in my closet. I dove in my bed and pulled the covers over my head and as I was on my way to a deep sleep but I heard I loud knock at the front door, it couldn’t be my mom she has a key and nobody from school knows were I live. I was annoyed, I just ignored who ever it was and kept sleeping, then a few minutes pass and there was a knock at my door. I got up really fast, was it the same person that was knocking at the front door. I could be an escaped convicted or a crazy killer on the loose. I was literally panicking until it stopped. “Amerie please open the door it’s Mr.Posley, I need to talk to you, and someone left the slide door open in the kitchen. He said. I know this man did not just come in to my house. I quickly open the door and yelled “What the hell is wrong with you, you broke in my house, I should call cops on you…” out of no where he smashed his lips against mine, and wrapped his arm around my waste and pulled me closer to him and the other on my cheek.
Tears started rolling down my cheek and I pushed him, why was he doing this? I hated this. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t control myself and I don’t regret kissing you then or now, I love you. I was just scared of hurting you.” He said then pulled me I for a hug, I gladly went in them, “Do you know how wrong this is, for us to be together.” He said “If this is wrong I don’t want to be right, I need you, I need more than an hour to be with you. When I first saw you I fell for you, the touch of your fingers make me blush, the way you look at me makes my heart skip a beat, and the warmth of your hug makes me tingle with excitement and your kisses tell me how much you love me. Don’t you understand I love you.” I said still in his embrace. “I guess it was meant to be this way.” He said still hugging me. “It was.” I said. He let go of the hug and sat on my bed then he gestured for me to sit down. I did. “Now we got to make some rule.” He said with a serious face. “What? Rules?” I said with a dumbstruck face. “Yes, rules that we need to follow, did you forget that I’m your teacher already, now Rule 1: No intimate gestures at school or in public. Rule 2: No sexual intimacy until you graduates high school.” He said. I started blushing when he said that. “Rule 3: Don’t tell anybody. You got it” he said. I quickly shook my head agreeing, I was kind of mad he didn't think I would know any of this. “And I know you know you know all of this I’m just making sure you know.” He said. Did he read my mind? "You know I'm not a little kid, you can trust me" I said "I know but this relationship illegal, this could mess up mine and your life but it worth it." he said then he look at me. "Your worth it all." he said I grabbed his shirt to pull him closer and kissed him and he kissed me back our tongues intertwined together. Then he stopped "I don't think i can follow rule 2 going at it like this." he said then went back at it."Nick?" I whispered "yes" he said "Have you had sex before?" I said and he stopped and looked at me "Yes." he said.

The Talk

"You know I'm not a little kid, you can trust me" I said "I know but this relationship illegal, this could mess up mine and your life but it's worth it." he said then he look at me. "Your worth it all." he said I grabbed his shirt to pull him closer and kissed him and he kissed me back our tongues intertwined together. Then he stopped "I don't think i can follow rule 2 going at it like this." he said then went back at it."Nick?" I whispered "Yes" he said "Have you had sex before?" I said and he stopped and looked at me "Yes." he said. "When was your first time?" i said quietly "When I was in my Junior year." he said "What was it like?" I said "I can't explain it, your just going to have to find out when you get older." He said with a smile on his face. "Why do I have to wait til I get older?" I Said "Because of Rule 2" he said with the same smile on his face. I hate rule 2, it sucks already. "I need to leave." he said between our lips "Why?" I mumbled "Because if I don't Rule 2 will be broken." he said pulling back and standing up. "No don't go." I said jumping up. "I have to before your parents show up and I don't think I'm ready for prison." he said opening the door. "No, please don't." then I felt tears starting to run down my face. "If you go then, I'm going to miss you. I feel like if you leave this is going to fade away like it never happened and I don't want this to never end." I said crying "Thats not going to happen, nothing's going to change between us. Tomorrow will be the official start of us. I promise." he said "You promise?" I said wiping away my tears. "I promise." he said

I walked him to the door and he gave me a light peck on cheek, before i knew it he was gone. I went back up to my room and layed on my bed, I could still smell him in the room, i already miss him. What is it going to be like tomorrow, how is he going to act? Like a completely different person probably. He's probably not going talk to me, not going to look at me, act like a complete stranger even though he's my teacher. I heard the front door opening and closing, it must have been my mother. "Amerie, you here?" she said "Up here." I yelled. I got up and went down stairs to the kitchen. "How was your day?" she asked taking out vegtables from the fridge. "It was great." I said "Thats good." she said "When's dad coming home?" I said "In a couple of hours." she said "He's been coiming in late alot for a while." I said "Well he has to work late nights." she said "He's never home." I said "What are you trying to say Amerie?" she said "Mom I know and so do you." I said then went back stairs into my room. I knew my dad was cheating but my mom denies it and just thinks he working late but someone who works late dont come to home smelling like a a fresh bar of soap, why does she just let this slide, shes just hurting herself in the progress.

The next day, I woke up feeling like crap, I dont want to go to school, I was scared that Nick would avoid me and pretend nothing happened between us, but I have to suck it up and go through it, I never had a boyfriend and my first had to be my teacher, this complicated relationship full of possibilities. When i walked into my first period class I was the last person there, I sat in the only seat available in the back. Ms.Wright was sitting in her chair taking role like everyday, I was just in time. Ms. Wright got up and from her desk and started with todays lesson, I was to happy that I couldnt even bay attention. Recalling yesterday, the way Nick kissed me, the way he held me, all I want to do is be with him. I cant believe he said we cant have sex, I dont think that rule is going to say for long. I want to be with him, I love him, I can never get him out my head. I wonder if hes thinking about me, probably not. He has better things to think about right now, hes a teacher of course he would. The whole morning, Ive been thinking about him until lunch came and Anyla ask to join her for lunch and I accepted of course to get my mind of him for a while until next period when I see him.

When we sat at the table there was two girls already there, I remember them from my history class."Amerie this is Talia and Bree. " Anyla said. "Hey" I said giving a little wave. "Whats up?" Bree said. "Hi" Talia said smiling. I sat down next to Anyla on the opposite side of Bree and Talia and started eating my apple. "So you guys what do you think about our history teacher, Mr. Posley?" Bree said. I looked up in shock to the topic. "I think hes hot, wish he was my age so I can cuff him." Talia said "He Okay but hes not my type, he seem a bit dorky to me." Anyla said picking at her pizza. "What do you think Amerie?" Bree said looking at me then Talia and Anyla both looked at me too. "Hes Gorgeous to me when I first saw him, i couldnt believe my eyes at first and when he talked to me, I thought I was going to explode with happiness honestly." I said blushing. "Wow that was...umm very...wow." Bree said staring at me. "Yea" I said blushing. When I finished eating my apple I got up and said im going to the bathrooms. I lied. I went to history class to see Tyler, I was so excited and nervous. All these thoughts going though my head of what he would say or do. I opened the door and he was at his desk on the computer, he looked even more gorgeous than even before. "Hey Mr. Posley." I said walking to his desk. "Hello Amerie, How was your night?" Mr. Posley said getting up from his desk and walking toward me. "It was fantastic, Mr. Posley I said just a inch away from my face. "Why was it so fantastic Amerie." He said wrapping his arms around my waste. "Because a gorgeous man confessed to me and now we go out." I said. "Whats his name Amerie?" he whispered in my ear. "You should already know Mr. Posley, your very close to him." I whispered. "Name, Amerie." he said "Nick Posley." I said. He kissed me hard, our tongues dancing with eachother. His fingers with entagled in my hair pushing me in more, getting every taste of this man. He kissed me on my cheek moving down to my neck, he grabbed my butt and carried me to his desk my legs wrapped around him. He sat me down on his desk, kisssing me on my lips going up in down my neck. He layed me down on the desk. He put his hand on my breast sqeezing it hard, I let a small moan. It felt so good to be touched like that, his big hands covering me. I felt something hard between my legs, it turnt me on even more. I glaced over and look at his desk clock, lunch was over in two minutes. "Nick stop, we have to stop, lunch is almost over." I said. He stoped kissing me and raise off of me and turned around. "Damn Amerie, Im sorry I cant even keep my own rule, Amerie I want you so much, more like I need you. Your so addicting, its driving me crazy." he said fixing his hair.  

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Texte: Chynadoll114
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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 15.01.2013

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