inspiration

INSPIRATION

The time on my watch showed 2:30 AM as I landed at the IG International, New Delhi on a chilly December morning in 2018. The intercontinental route on that day was inexplicably busy, with so many flights landing and taking off so it took a while to clear my luggage. Harsh Gupta, my secretary looked awfully tired due to jet lag, so I waited as his luggage was cleared first. I too was exhausted and my body was paining from neck to toe; I longed for the comfort of my cozy home. Frustratingly I looked at the youngsters surrounding me, clicking selfies and howling for autographs. I had never thought that my books on economics, politics, and motivation were so popular among today’s youth; or was the adulation because I am the son of a successful industrialist, about to take over the vast business empire? Or was it because I am the proud owner of over 120 technology patents? I gave the mental equivalent of a philosophical shrug.

My eyes searched for a familiar face as I had been away from my homeland for a long time and feeling homesick. I was more than relieved to see our old driver Santosh coming towards me. He was part of the family and the respite at seeing him cannot be expressed in words. As I came out of the exquisite and grand airport the smell of my homeland pierced my nostrils. I took the back seat and changed my international sim to the national network. I smiled as Santosh started asking so many questions in one go.

 

“Sir, how was your trip?” Santosh asked in his own uncomplicated way

I shrugged, “Like every time: good but I am so tired.”

Santosh was in no mood to leave me alone, “So when and to where is your next trip?”

I laughed, a little amused at his question, “Santoshji let’s first reach our home at Dwarka; afterward we will plan my next trip.”

Santosh looked miserable; “Oh, I didn’t mean it that way; we all are very happy you are back; we would like to have you here for as long as possible.”

I nodded, “Yes, that would be really nice: to spend some time here with you all, but you know the nature of my work; every minute is precious. But don’t worry; I am planning to be here for at least ten days.”

Santosh sounded shocked, “Only for ten days?”

Once again I nodded my head, “Yes, then I have to be in England, at the London School of Economics for a seminar.”

Santosh seemed to be hesitating before asking, “So Kabir sir, when are you getting married? Mummyji and daddy have been asking this question for many days; in fact, they have been pestering Nandini to elicit an answer from her.”

I was curious, “what did she say?”

“The same answer as always, ‘when Kabir is ready’

I hesitated before saying, “Don’t worry Santoshji; maybe this time I’ll fulfill this wish.”

Santosh looked ecstatic. “Oh, this is really great news; Mummy and Daddy will be thrilled.

I leaned back with a sigh, “Okay.”

Someone once said, ‘Home is where the heart can laugh without shyness. Home is where the heart’s tears can dry at its own pace.’ The words rang true as we reached Malhotra’s mansion at Golf Link road, my sweet home. As expected, Mamma was there to welcome me with a warm smile. As I touched her feet the servant took out the luggage from the car and proceeded towards my room.

Before I could take a seat on the luxurious and comfortable couch Santoshji blurted out, “Sir is willing and ready to get married.”

My mother exclaimed with utter joy. As I looked at her I could see her face glowing in a sweet smile. We all know about the Indian moms: they are like this; their joy knows no bounds when they hear that their children are ready for the marriage.

“When? Today, tomorrow? When is the marriage going to be?” She was blabbering in a state of extreme joy.

I laughed, “Mummy. Have a little patience; I will definitely marry, but not today or tomorrow. We will plan it.”

I watched as she took out the mobile to call Nandini. I snatched the cell from her hands. “Not now, mom; I want to give her a surprise.”

I could see she was relaxing. After all, it was great news to her that her son was willing for the marriage after all these agonizing years. There was a lot of joy and amusement in the air. I smiled.

After the long discussions, a few gossips, and affectionate words I proceeded to my bedroom, a place I can relax in total peace. I glanced at the pinup on the door, ‘Restricted area; take permission before entering’. As I stood looking thoughtfully at the pinup, Mom came and stood there watching me with those affectionate eyes. Sighing deeply she advised me to remove the notice, not only from the door but also from my brain and heart.

I nodded then asked her whether I could go to the hospital. She told me it would be better if I went there around noon.

 

I stood there looking around the bedroom. Everything was as it was when I had left: the open laptop, hanging fabrics on the door of the cabinet, a picture collection of school time, Bob Marley, Jim Morrison. College days, Cricket and football kit, many pictures of friends, and one big framed picture of Shivansh. Everything was the same except me; nothing of the past had changed but I had. The room and its belongings brought back past memories: some cheerful ones but mostly gloomy ones. The slam books and novels brought back memories of the innumerable affairs I had at school and college. With a philosophical shrug, I tried to come back to the present.

A call from Nandini interrupted me.

“Hi, Jaanu, how are you?” Nandini’s sugary voice drifted through the mobile

“Fantastic, as always,” I replied cheerfully

“So how was your journey?” Nandini asked

I said dejectedly, “Felt like a bird in a cage; such a long trip.” I paused before continuing, “So, when are you coming?”

She chuckled cheerfully, “Tomorrow around 9 pm I am with you.”

“Okay, I will be waiting.”

“Fine, did you check the mail? There is an annual function at your school tomorrow.” She breathed before asking, “Do you know who the chief guest is?

“Yup, I know that, but I don’t want to go”: I said curtly

She took a deep sigh before saying, “I know the reason behind it. But that was your school; you were there for long fourteen years; the teachers and the whole staff stood with you in your good and bad days. Now, you are a celebrity, and they will certainly expect you to be there.”

I said without much ceremony, “Don’t force me Nandini, I have decided: I don’t want to go.”

“Okay fine, I am coming only if you go; if you are not going just cancel my ticket; it is up to you.” She sounded furious

I sighed, “Nandini, you are behaving like a kid.” I paused before saying miserably, “Okay, I will go.”

She was over the moon, “Fantastic; that is my brave man, and don’t worry, I will be there.”

“Mr. Santosh will be at the airport,” I said brusquely.

“Thank you, bye-bye, daddy is calling.” She ended the call.

 

I looked at the old music and video game cassettes, Walkman, tattoos, and other childhood collections in the drawer. I smiled to myself thinking of those days. I sat on the nearby couch and thought about my school days, the friends, teachers, the pranks we played on each other, the girls, and the secret and sometimes open admirations and infatuations and a lot of other things. After half an hour I went to have a shower, then returned to the room, took out the old laptop, and went through all those information and statistics stored in it. It was almost morning when I caught a little sleep.

 

 

I got up around six and walked into the balcony; the fresh morning air soothed my body and mind. I felt highly rejuvenated and recharged. I heard a knock at the door. Daddy was standing there with a broad smile on his handsome face. I knelt down to touch his feet but he dragged me to his chest and embraced me warmly. He looked very happy and content and told me that he was very happy that I had agreed to get married. We went down and sat for a cup of tea. It was refreshingly different from my life in the US: having tea with folks in a leisurely way; discussing future plans with family and enjoying the warmth and affection of parents. After tea, I went down to the garage to look at my old love: the Ducati bike. I had strictly forbidden anyone to touch it, so it was in a ragged and tattered condition. It took me almost two hours to clean it thoroughly. Around twelve Nandini called and reminded me about the school function. Once again I promised her that I would go, and we ended the conversation.

I was not hungry, so straightaway headed towards my room. After taking a relaxing bath I slept for some time. Around 3 I came down and sat on the couch and asked Ramu to bring my lunch. He brought me my favorite dish, chole. After taking my lunch I went down to the garage and took out the bike. The engine sounded perfect and I decided to go for a short ride. As I rode I felt like that old schoolboy the adventurous, daring, free, and spirited schoolboy boy. Slowly I headed towards Hauz Khas; it was such a pleasurable experience to ride through the busy roads of Delhi; roads full of autos, cars, bikes, and buses. I forgot everything: my past, the pains, the scars, and everything. The air was ruffling my hair as the bike roared towards Hauz.

Around six my secretary called me to remind me about the school function. He reminded me about the Delhi traffic and told me the function was at 8, so I better hasten. I hurried towards the bathroom. It was almost seven when I came down. My secretary, Mr Gupta was waiting there and we discussed certain future things. Before leaving for the school I reminded Santosh to go to the airport on time to pick up Nandini. Then I asked Adil to take out the Jaguar and proceeded towards the Green Valley School. As he drove the luxurious automobile I looked out into the evening Delhi life and thought that God had given me one more opportunity; one more life. Soon we reached the school and seeing the huge crowd that had gathered at the gate to receive me I asked Adil to go towards the back gate. Mr. Gupta had already informed the principal about my arrival, so he with almost all of his staff was at the back gate to receive me.

 

I shook hands with the principal and some teachers. There was some more time for the function to commence, so I asked the principal whether I could go around the school. He agreed and I proceeded to walk around the familiar places with a professor and my secretary in attendance. I looked around and marveled at the changes that had taken place. The old memories came flooding into my mind and I felt a strange sort of melancholy. It was then I smelled a familiar smell: the smell of marijuana. The professor had got a call on his mobile so he was not there. I went around with my secretary searching for the source of the smell. Soon we found two boys in a classroom smoking the weed. As soon as they saw us one of the boys threw away the butt but the other one was very stoned. He started abusing me for disturbing them. Mr. Gupta got very angry and he was almost about to manhandle the boy when I asked him to cool down. The stoned boy was talking in a very high voice. I asked him to slow down, otherwise, the professor would hear and come, but he didn’t seem to heed my words. Soon, hearing the commotion the principal and the other teachers came there. The principal was very angry at the boys’ behavior and without any ceremony or formalities, he asked the guards to throw out the boys.

 

The annual function began around eight. The principal and the trustee welcomed me on the stage. After thanking the management for inviting me I spoke about my school life at Green Valley Public School, the teachers, and classmates. I recollected the complicated and days I went through and how the whole staff had stood with me. I thanked them for being with me. I knew none of those teachers was present here but still, I thanked them. As an inspiration for students, I spoke about Jack Ma, the Chinese king of e-commerce, and how he had built an empire from scratch. After my speech, there was the traditional cultural program. I was particularly impressed by the ghazal sung by an eight standard girl. The song, Chitti na koi Sandesh was originally sung by Jagjit Singh. The melancholy in her voice brought tears to my eyes. After the function, there was a grand dinner party. Around ten I headed back to my home.

Nandini had arrived and both mother and daughter-in-law were gossiping and laughing. It is a universal fact that ladies are the most talkative. It was true here too. They were waiting to have dinner with me. When she saw me a huge smile appeared on her face. I took a seat opposite to hers. As mother was ordering dinner I announced that I had mine at the school. After some small talk with Nandini, I went upstairs to my room. I stood there a little taken aback. Nandini had rearranged the whole room; all my old stuff was thrown out; there was new tapestry and all. As I stood there, marveling at this change Nandini came into the room. I suggested we go into the garden. There I told her about my decision to get married. She was ecstatic and hugged me tightly. I was amazed and told her to control herself in case Daddy or Mummy was watching. After taking seats on the concrete bench I started telling her about my job and the trip, but she seemed to be fair-minded. As is the nature with girls they are more interested in talks about marriage and family life. After some time she proceeded to the guest room.

Nandini came to wake me up and told me to come down for breakfast. Everybody was at the dining table discussing my marriage in vivacious and lively voices. I thought to put in some suggestions but soon decided against it as I knew they wouldn't be listening to me. I sat there sipping the tea and listening to the lackluster discussion. It was then that the watchman came and said that there was someone from Green Valley School at the gate asking to see me.

 

“Okay, take him to the poolside and ask him to wait there,” I said curtly

“Okay sir” The watchman bowed before leaving.

 

The discussion was getting too boring, so I was only glad to leave them. I proceeded to the pool. He was standing there in a slapdash fashion; the same one I had caught smoking at the school the previous day.

I was annoyed but also a little curious, “What do you want? Why are you here?” I tried to control my voice.

The boy said casually, “Please excuse me for what happened yesterday; I am sorry.”

I was leisurely, “Firstly tell me your name”

“Aarav Pratap Singh”

Okay Aarav, you are forgiven.” I said pleasantly

He took a deep sigh, “Thank you, sir, but sir I am expelled from school; please help me”

“Dude, it’s not in my hand,” I said superficially

“Sir, I am not a fool, yesterday you were the chief guest at the school; you can do anything.” He said

I was getting annoyed, “Just mind your language otherwise I will throw you out.” I said irately.

“Okay, sir, you may not know me; I am the son of the Union Finance Secretary; I can get admission in any school in Delhi.” He said in a frenzy

I was getting more and more annoyed, “Hi kid cools down; you don’t know who I am; ask your father. He will definitely know my father Mr. Malhotra, a senior advocate in the Supreme Court. Don’t show me attitude, or else you are going to get a red mark in your Transfer Certificate. Then no school will take you.”

He was unremorseful, “Okay, then I will leave schooling for life.”

I sighed before saying slowly, “You are like what I was during my school days: totally mad. School life is the best time of life. You are wasting it on drugs and drinks.”

“Sir, I love to inhale; it gives me peace and relaxes my mind and soul,” He said bit by bit

I frowned, “The same attitude; same arrogance; same egotism towards all around.”

“Sir, it's not an attitude: I lost my love, and it’s after this I became like this: a drunkard and smoker.” He said tentatively

“Is she dead?” I asked considerately

He shook his dead, “She is very much alive; someone else has replaced me.”

“And you became a drug addict just because someone ditched you?” I asked a little crossly

“You don’t know what happened to me; how that bitch fucked me royally.” He was self-effacing.

“Dude, first of all, mind your language; don’t use abusive language here; you are not in your home. If my dad hears you talking like this all hell will break; I won’t be able to help you” I said a little unsympathetically.

“Sorry brother, I lost everything, and I am not in a condition to bear this shock,” He said slowly

I looked into his eyes and said slowly, “You don’t know what happened to me due to drugs: what all I lost in life. There is no drug that can relax you.”

Okay, you tell me what all you lost; what changed you like this.”

I watched him for several seconds; I saw myself in him. Finally, I decided to tell him all about it. I asked him to meet me at a chai bar just outside Connaught Circle: I used to frequent with buddies during my school days.

Since childhood Shivansh had been my closest buddy. Now I can’t exactly recall when we met: whether in the LKG or UKG. But in every situation he had always been with me; taking care of me, chiding me when I did something wrong, and being more than just a friend. When I was three years old my mother had died due to blood cancer. Daddy married again but my stepmother had hardly any time for me. She was busy with her business meetings, luncheons, and kitty parties. The same was the case with Dad. Every minute of his life was spent on expanding the business. He gave me enough and more money and thought that was enough. I don’t remember when I had any food cooked by my mother. From food to dress to studies, it was always the servants and maids who took care of me. So I was pretty happy to have had the company of such a friend. He always shared his food with me which was prepared by his mother. As time went by we started sharing everything, from pencil to notebook to sweets and so on. Due to my irregular family situation, I didn’t have much attachment to my family. One thing I had in plenty was money. I started drinking when I was in the tenth class. I was craving for love and affection: the love and affection I did not get at home. My whole childhood was like a blank book: no color. The only love I got was from Shivansh and I was drawn towards his love like a fish is drawn towards water. While in school or college there was none to control me or show the right path. And the abundance of money and the freedom associated with it, I got into wrong ways, roaming here and there aimlessly, getting new girlfriends every few months, getting into drugs, and so on. Only Shivansh was there to control me to some extent. It was he who got me back on track.

Till twelfth both of us were in the same class. Afterward, we took admission in the same college in Pune for the same course: Bachelor of Economics (Hon). As friends we were inseparable; both of us could not live without the other. Whenever I made a mistake he was there to scold and guide me in the proper path. If I took ill or if I had an accident he was always there to take care of me. He was mature and caring beyond his age. Everybody in the college called us Jai Veeru. He was Jai the caring and matured Jai; I the happy-go-lucky Veeru

 

 

FIRST STEP IN A NEW WORLD

In June 2010 we initiated the first step of our new world: our college life. Just like my early days in Delhi, here too I didn’t have to face any hurdles because Shivansh was with me. During my school days, daddy didn’t have time for me, but my bank balance was always healthy. As is the general human nature when the bank balance is bulky I too was not much perturbed by my dad’s manners; after all, I had enough money and friends like Shivansh. Add to it the gorgeous girls in the college, and my life was as in heaven. Our first day in the college was first only for us as we were late by ten days. The bold letters in the ambiance of greenery and the impressive infrastructure, Symbian International School greeted us as we passed the massive gates. We came out of the Mercedes CDI 350 4matic SUV car, attired in world-class outfits like Versace denim with ankle leather boots and on top Maui Jim sunglasses, and proceeded towards our classroom ignoring all the super sexy girls who were ogling us. The professor was writing on the blackboard. We entered the classroom without waiting for the professor’s permission and took our seats. The whole class was staring at us wondering who these arrogant and well-dressed fellows were. After the lecture, we introduced ourselves. After some time both of us proceeded towards the college canteen; there we bought two cans of coke, and as I was turning around I bumped into an attractive girl. Immediately she apologized and I told her it was okay. They can have fallen on the floor and both of us bent down to pick it up; our heads banged against each other’s; our eyes met and they spoke a thousand words; it took me some time to realize that she was our classmate sitting in another row. She was the most beautiful girl around.

 

After having lunch at Mystic Masala at TajVivanta we came back to our mansion. Shivansh got busy on Facebook, chatting with his childhood soul mate, Urvashi. But I was bored to death; there was nothing for me to do. Whenever I get frustrated like this a peg or two always soothes me down. As I was new to the city I didn’t know any good pubs nearby, but soon Google came to my aid and both of us proceeded towards Miami pub on SB Road. The bar was crowded and the sparkling lights had a soothing effect on me. We ordered two tequila fire shots. Shivansh lit a Dunhill; one wasn’t sufficient for me. After a few shots of the fiery spirit and a few Dunhills, I got into the mood to dance. But unfortunately, there were no girls around except two who were sitting a little far from our table. One was particularly dazzling and eye-catching. I looked at her; she too responded with a naughty smile. I waited for the right opportunity to go to her. The opportunity came sooner than I thought. Her companion got up to go to the washroom. As I was about to take a seat across, her boyfriend turned up from nowhere. Putting a hefty hand on her shoulder he turned to me and said in a shrewd tone, “Dude, she belongs to me.”

A little uncomfortable, I said okay and returned to my seat.

 

I woke up early to a dreadful hangover. To help myself and ease the hangover I employed my traditional method: take a few puffs of the Dunhill. The cigarette helped a bit. Suddenly Shivansh entered the room shaking all over the body. He had a wet towel around his waist and he was shaking from head to foot. A little perturbed I asked him why he was trembling so much.

“A black lizard fell on my body.” He said in a trembling voice. “Lizards always give me the goosebumps.”

 

”Okay, don’t worry; I will check; you have this cigarette” Assuring him I entered the bathroom. I took it out, I was a little hesitant to take a bath that day so proceeded to the college without taking a bath. Today we were not late. We decided to have breakfast before proceeding to our class. As we entered the class I looked around; the class was filled with dazzling girls and cheerful dudes. I was not surprised; it was one of the most prestigious institutions in the country. Only the super-rich and the toppers got admission here.

Like the previous day, we took our seats on the backbench. Soon the professor came and he asked us to introduce ourselves. We introduced ourselves in fluent English. He asked us to sit down and proceeded to take the class. We listened keenly; after all, he was one of the best professors of Economics and it would have been foolish to skip any of his classes. All of the teachers were excellent ones and listening to their lectures was trouble-free. The whole day passed cheerfully. After the class, we proceeded towards my car, but Shivansh said he wanted a coke and sandwich, and proceeded towards the canteen. I watched curiously as he returned after a few minutes, his face red.

 

“What happened, dude?” I asked inquisitively.

“Nothing.” He replied hastily, and then added, “Let’s go home.”

As I took my seat behind the steering wheel I looked towards him. I knew something was bothering him. Hesitating a little I asked unceremoniously,” Tell me; what happened.”

 

It took some time for him to respond. After some time he said in a casual way, “Some seniors started making fun of me in the canteen; one of them pushed me back, asking for an introduction. As they were two I couldn’t handle them.”

 

I thought for a few seconds before saying, “Okay, it is not a big deal; these things happen nowadays.” I tried to sound easy, “Let us go back to the canteen; I am feeling a little hungry; let’s have some soft drinks and sandwiches.”

Shivansh realized what was happening and said in an uneasy tone, “Please don’t get angry with them; they are seniors. My whole body gets shivers when you are angry.”

 

 

I was boiling with anger. Many times Shivansh told me to cool down and let it go, but I couldn’t tolerate such injustice to my best friend. My face was red and blood boiling. We went to the canteen and I asked shivansh to show me the tough guys. He looked around but could not find them. We went around the whole college campus searching for them, but they were nowhere to be found. Finally, in total frustration, we returned to the mansion. Shivansh could see that I was still mad at them. He went to the kitchen, prepared some coffee, and offered me a cup. I was in no mood to drink coffee. Then he suggested we go to the pub, apparently to cool me down, but I rejected the offer. Liquor was not going to solve the problem or lower the anger and bitterness in me. Long back I had learned that meditation was a better way to control anger. After some time I took the coffee and started to sip it, but still in an agitated mood. Shivansh put on the TV and we watched Pink Panther, my favorite show. It had some effect on me and my mind started to cool down. At night I felt the need for some manala hash, so asked Shivansh to contact his cousin. On his advice, we went to an isolated place and bought the hash. After taking a few puffs while watching the Beatles songs. We went out for dinner. As we were missing Delhi a lot we went to the Delhi Spice hotel at FC Road.

In the morning as usual we proceeded to the college after our morning chores. We went to the canteen and I told Shivansh to point out the seniors as soon as he spotted them. He nodded towards a bulky fellow sitting at a table making fun of one of the juniors. Without a single word, I moved towards him and before anybody could realize what was happening I slapped him hard on the face. His friends, seeing the mood I was in, kept silent. He got up to slap me but I evaded him easily and slapped him a few more times and broke his finger. The tussle went on for some time before the canteen manager came and separated us. Afterward, we went to our class, but soon I heard that the police were coming to the campus. Realizing the state of affairs I called my dad but as usual, he was too busy with his work, but Mr. Prakash Gupta, his personal secretary assured me he would do the needful. After a few seconds, I got a call on my cell: it was the Assistant Police Commissioner of Pune. I explained everything to him and he told me to take it easy, and that he would take care of everything. The police inspector came into the class, and the seniors pointed me out. The inspector told me to come out of the class. He was using foul language and calling me bad names. The principal objected to this but it had no effect on the police officer. I called the ACP, and after a few seconds, the inspector got a call on his mobile. I could see his face changing colors. He had a worried and apologetic look on his face. All that came out of his mouth was, ‘sorry, sir, okay sir’. After switching off the mobile he came near me and apologized to the whole class. I didn’t say anything but stared back at him. After some time the police left, but not before apologizing a few more times. The whole class was impressed, and then the students including the seniors changed their manners towards both of us. They had a new respect and admiration for us.

Around 6 pm mom called: it was her first call after my arrival in Pune. It was a surprise that she became free from her business meetings to talk to her only son. She wanted to know what had happened, so I explained everything in detail. Soon she got bored with all the details and told me to call her if I needed anything. With a drink in my hand, I leaned on the pillow and watched Tom & Jerry on YouTube. Shivansh was in another room talking to Urvashi. After some time he too joined me and we watched Tom & Jerry.

Days passed on to weeks; it was the same monotonous routine every day; morning time in the college; evening in some pubs; on weekends we would sleep till late into the afternoon, go to some pub and return around midnight. One day Prof Rajput was taking the class, and we were not paying attention to the lecture, so could not give an answer to a question. Obviously he got annoyed and asked me to come to the first bench and sit on it. I had to sit beside a girl; it was very embarrassing to me; felt like I was again a school student.

She was the same girl her name was shruti I had banged against in the canteen. She passed me a smile and I smiled back. We shook hands; her hands were as soft as marshmallows. We introduced ourselves and a new and beautiful association began that day. We started sharing jokes, played pranks at each other, gossiped a lot about classmates and teachers, and were very comfortable with each other. Shivansh was always busy making notes and talking with Urvashi. I too was busy with Shruti. Soon we became inseparable, always meeting at the canteen, campus, and everywhere. Now I couldn’t think about life without her. She too reciprocated the same feelings. One day while Prof Rajput was taking the class we were talking and sharing jokes. It made him mad and he asked us to leave the class. I got up and proceeded towards the canteen. Shruti too was out of the classroom.

“Why are you here?” I asked her in a furious way

“Kabir, not only you, but I am also disturbing the class.” She answered in a very sweet tone.

“Okay; let us go to the canteen,” I said in a resigned way

She looked here and there before saying in that cute tone, “No, I don’t want to go the canteen; let’s sit in the garden”

“Okay as you wish, but for me next time, please don’t skip the lecture for

Impressum

Verlag: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 09.08.2020
ISBN: 978-3-7487-5296-7

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