Chapter 1

Alex sighed when he woke up. He was lying in bed in his house in Hamburg. It was mid-morning, quite late really, but today was a rest day and quite frankly he felt he deserved a bit of a lie-in. His girlfriend Emma was up already, he could hear her playing downstairs with his two year-old son Max. Any other day he would have jumped out of bed to join in and spend time with them. But not today.

The defeat the day before was too much to take. 4-0 he had lost with his football club against their biggest city rival. He had almost broken down on the pitch he had felt that sick and desperate. He had seen his pitiful self in the news that evening and had felt nothing but disgust for what his career had come to.

He loved Hamburg. It was his home town, his home club was here. But he couldn't keep losing like this. With such poor performance there was a chance he wasn’t going to be selected for the national team anymore and therefore not play at the World Cup in the summer. ‘I should have just moved on when Tommy left.' He closed his eyes as he remembered the day before.

When he had checked his phone after the match he’d had a voicemail from Tom. 'Alex, are you okay? I saw the end of the match. I thought you were going to collapse for a minute. Call me, please. I just want to know you are alright.' Alex smiled thinking of the message. Tom really was his best friend. Still, after all those years. He couldn't quite describe it but he has always been special to him. They used to play in the same club and became really close. 'This is pathetic.' Alex cursed but he missed Tom, there was no point in denying it. Yet he wasn't going to be able to see him for another few months until the national team would meet again, for which both boys still played together.

When Alex had called him back, Tom had had to leave a bar in Dortmund celebrating a victory with his current team to even hear him. 'Alex! Bloody hell, are you okay? I was worried about you.' 'As usual.' Alex had laughed quietly. 'Yeah well, no, more than usual actually. I thought you were going to collapse or something.' Alex had put on a brave voice. 'Oh come on, I'm used to this shit.' He had forced a laugh. Tom hadn't found it funny. 'I'm sorry I can't be there for you. I wouldn't have let you get into such a state. You know that.' 'You're there for me now. Aren't you?' Alex had said. 'You know what I mean. It's not the same over the phone is it? Jesus, Alex I just want to see you smile again.' Alex had bitten his lip. 'You need to go back inside and celebrate Tommy,’ he had said clearing his voice, 'I'll be okay. I always am.' 'Are you sure? Alright. Take care of yourself, do you hear me? I'm always here for you, remember that.' 'Bye Tommy.' Alex had hung up way too quickly but he couldn't bear listening to his voice anymore.

Alex forced himself to sit up in bed and ran his hands over his face. 'Pathetic.' He got up, slowly put on his dressing gown and opened the bedroom door. He looked over the landing down into his living room where Max was playing noisily with his toys. 'Daddy, daddy!' His little face beamed up at Alex and he couldn't help but smile and feel better straight away. 'Yeah, alright, alright, daddy is coming down now.' Alex went downstairs and grabbed and cuddled his son. 'Morning grumpy,' his girlfriend Emma smiled at him and bent down to give him a kiss, 'did Tommy get hold of you in the end?' She asked in passing. Alex looked at her confused. 'Tommy?' 'Yes. You know your best friend. Remember him?', she laughed, 'he called here twice yesterday and said he couldn't get hold off you on your mobile. He almost had me worried too!' 'Oh,' Alex said trying to hide a sad smile, 'yes I called him back.' 'Typical Tommy.' He thought.

He turned the television on and threw himself onto the couch gazing outside the window. It was a cold and rainy November day. Max was playing on the floor in front of him. Emma walked over and sat next to Alex. 'I know you are down about it all. What do you fancy doing today?' She snuggled up to him. 'Actually, nothing', he stroked her leg, 'please don't be cross but I just want to slouch and feel sorry for myself'. He stared back at the television. 'Of course. Great,' Alex didn't pay any attention, 'can you at least keep an eye on Max please?' 'Yeah sure.' He mumbled. In the old days, he would have jumped into the car and driven to see Tom. They would have played Xbox games and kicked a football round all afternoon.

As Emma was in Max's room tidying up, the doorbell rang. Alex moaned. 'I'm not here!', he shouted towards Emma. She came out of Max's room and walked towards him. The doorbell rang again, 'not here.' Alex looked at her seriously. 'Come on Max,' Emma walked towards their son, 'come and see who is at the door with mummy.' She gently took Max's hand and they slowly walked down the stairs. 'Probably some of Emma's girlfriends, that's the last thing I need.' Alex thought, still in a mood.

Emma picked up her son and held him on her arm as she reached the door. She opened and couldn't believe her eyes. Tom was standing there, casually leaning against the door frame and smiling at them both. Before Emma could exclaim her surprise and excitement, Tom put one finger on his lips to signal for her to keep this quiet. He grinned mischievously and stroked Max's cheek with his finger. 'Oh my God,' Emma said in a quiet whisper, 'now that really is a surprise!' She gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. 'Is he in?' Tom asked looking up towards their living room windows. Emma nodded and set Max down. She waved Tom in and he quietly stepped through the front door. Max had half crawled and half run back upstairs into the lounge before she could grab him. He reached Alex still sitting on the sofa.

'Uncle Tommy!' Max exclaimed, jumping up and down in front of his dad. Emma and Tom quickly and quietly ran upstairs, stopping short at the door to the living room. Alex had his back to the door and looked at Max in surprise. 'What?' He asked still distracted by the television. 'Uncle Tommy, Uncle Tommy!' Max kept jumping in front of Alex. He grabbed him and let him stand on his lap. 'Now what's all this about? Hmm? Is this because he called you and mummy yesterday?,’ he looked at his son and kissed him on the cheek, 'Uncle Tommy is in Dortmund baby,' he sighed, 'that's far away,' he tried to get his attention but Max wouldn't calm down as over Alex’s shoulder he could also see Tom standing in the door now, 'yeah. I miss him too.’ Alex said quietly.

He finally put Max down, who ran towards Emma and Tom standing in the doorway grinning. 'Who was at the door anyway?', Alex asked as his eyes followed Max's little feet running towards his mum and Tom. His mouth opened as he saw his friend beaming at him in the doorway. He jumped up but was frozen on the spot. 'Tommy?', he asked in disbelief, 'no way man!', he shouted and grinned as he finally managed to move. He ran towards his friend. Tom laughed opening his arms wide as Alex reached him and fell into them, 'what are you doing here?' He mumbled into Tom's shoulder. 'Oh I just fancied a drive north.' Tom laughed as he let go off Alex to look at his face.

'Come on Max. Let's give daddy some time with Uncle Tommy alone.' Emma smiled at Tom as she took Max's hand and led him into his room. Alex hadn't felt so happy in a long time. 'So?', he asked Tom grinning, 'what are you doing here?' 'Someone had to check on you, don't you think?' Alex shrugged his shoulders and smiled in disbelief. 'You drove all the way from Dortmund to Hamburg for me? Just for me. Just like that.' Tom hugged him again. 'I told you. I needed to know you are okay,' he said holding him, 'I wanted to see you. Big deal. You're my friend,' Alex squeezed Tom hard and the boys were stood in silence in their embrace in the middle of the lounge, 'Alex, are you going to offer me a drink or what?' Alex broke free from Tom's arms and chuckled. 'Demanding!' He joked.

Tom sat down on the sofa while Alex went into the kitchen. 'What are you watching? And you're not even dressed yet!' He observed mocking his friend as he came back into the lounge with a couple of bottles of beer. He gave one to Tom and let himself drop next to him onto the sofa. 'Yeah I know. Not a good day today.' Alex stared at the television taking a sip. Tom grabbed the control and switched it off. 'See, this is why I'm here,' he beamed, pleased with himself, 'to distract you from this misery!', Alex smiled at him, 'get dressed. We're going for a walk.' Tom insisted. 'How long can you stay?' Alex asked quietly. 'If I leave early tomorrow morning I'll be at training in time.' Tom took a sip from the bottle. Alex still couldn't believe he was here. 'It is so good to see you.' He said in almost a whisper as he gazed at him. Tom smiled at Alex with gentle eyes. He put one arm around his shoulder. 'You too.'

Emma came out of Max's room with him fully dressed and a bag over her shoulder. Tom got up and grabbed Max. He threw him up in the air and the child chuckled with excitement. 'God you've grown!' Tom exclaimed as he held him high up over his head. Alex enjoyed watching Tom entertaining his son. He took another sip from the bottle as Emma sat down next to him. 'I think you two need to catch up properly without us,' she said, 'I'll go and see my mum.' Alex looked at her gratefully and kissed her briefly. 'Thank you.' She got up and picked up her son. 'I hope you can stay overnight?', she asked Tom. He nodded and tickled Max's cheek on her arm, 'I'll see you later then.'

As the boys heard the door shut downstairs they were silently looking at each other. 'Are you going to get dressed or what?' Tom laughed. Alex jumped up and ran upstairs, he put on some jeans and a jumper. He grabbed some trainers and as he came back downstairs he looked at Tom, who had made himself comfortable on the sofa lying down on his back. His arms were crossed behind his neck as he looked up towards his friend. Alex studied his body and couldn't take his eyes off him at this very moment. 'Don't tell me I have gained weight.' Tom giggled as he saw Alex stare at him. Alex forced himself to laugh and tried to make some joke as he was overcoming his embarrassment.

The boys eventually left the house and started walking. Alex lived close to a strip of remote woodland just outside of Hamburg. It was bitterly cold and the wind was howling around their faces. They laughed and joked, told each other stories and gossip from their clubs. They play-fought and raced each other. Everything was just as it always used to be. Alex felt truly happy. His heart lifted every time he heard Tom laugh and saw his friend smile at him.

After another sprint race and breathless laughter, Tom grabbed Alex by his shoulders with one arm. 'It's so good to see you happy again.' Tom said catching his breath. Alex looked at him breathing hard. He was going to say something cheeky, something that would set them off laughing again. But instead he felt tears welling up in his eyes. He looked away in panic and embarrassment trying to swallow them down but his friend had already noticed them. Alex tried to walk off but Tom's grip on his shoulder was firm. 'Hey,' Tom said gently, facing him. Alex bit his lip, desperately looking away from him, but it was too late. The tears started rolling down his cheeks and as his eyes were cast down, he just gave in. Tom touched his chin and pulled it up, 'hey,' he said again, 'look at me,' his face showed concern and empathy as he was looking at his friend crying. He pulled Alex towards him and held him tightly, 'shhh, it's okay,' Tom said gently as he was holding him, stroking the back of his head, 'come on, let it all out,’ he sighed, ‘I knew I had to see you. I could feel it,' he whispered in his ear. Alex couldn't speak. When he had calmed down a little, Tom looked at him and wiped the tears off his face, 'Alex,' he said worried, 'how can I help make things better for you?' Alex forced a laugh whilst still catching his breath from all the crying. 'I wish you'd never left.' He said quietly, exhausted now from the emotion. Tom hadn't expected that answer. He grabbed his head and pressed his forehead against his friend’s. 'Alex,' he whispered, 'we did talk about this. You were the one encouraging me to move back home! And you love Hamburg, you were adamant you didn't want to leave. Hmm? Remember?' Alex was still catching his breath, leaning into Tom's forehead and putting his arms around him now. 'Yeah', he said quietly after a pause, 'but I miss you Tommy,' and as they were standing there in the howling wind, Tom was lost for words. He helplessly stroked over his friend's hair, 'oh Jesus, I'm being pathetic,' Alex muttered and forced a laugh, 'come on, we better get back, it's getting dark.' He took deep breaths and Tom's hand was carefully searching for his'. Alex looked at his friend and smiled at him sadly. He gently squeezed his hand as he walked alongside him and the boys headed back together. There was no need to talk. Alex had said it all.

They got back to the house and shivered as they took off their jackets and shoes. 'Bloody freezing!' Alex said. They went back into the living room and Tom threw himself onto the sofa. 'Emma not back yet then?' He asked. Alex checked his mobile. 'Hang on I've got a text message from her,' he smiled reading it, 'she is staying at her mum's tonight. I think she is trying to give us some space.' 'Well, that's lovely of her,' Tom said, 'I always thought she was a great girl,' he looked at Alex, 'I'm starving! What's for dinner?' He got up and walked over to him, resting one arm on his shoulder. 'Erm. Frozen Pizza?' Alex looked unsure. 'Sounds good,' Tom laughed, 'is there another beer in the fridge for me?', he wandered into the kitchen and helped himself to a couple more bottles from the fridge. Alex joined him and threw the frozen pizzas into the oven, 'just what the doctor ordered. I'll beat my personal best at training tomorrow with such nourishment!' Tom tickled Alex and they both giggled. They grabbed their beers and sat back down next to each other on the sofa. Alex nodded towards the Xbox. 'Fancy a game?' He asked Tom, smiling cheekily. 'Well I am yet unbeaten by you, so I shall happily defend my record!' Tom nodded confidently. They played games for hours as they ate their pizzas and drank beers. Tom had Alex in tears of laughter as they tried to beat each other and his heart jumped seeing his friend happy again.

At about 10 o'clock at the end of another game, Tom looked at his watch. 'It's late Alex, we should go to bed.' Alex gulped sadly. 'Yeah sure, you have to get up early as well. What time are you off?' He asked him. 'Probably need to leave here at 7 or so.' Alex nodded. 'I'll make your bed.' But as he stood up Tom grabbed his hand, which made him turn towards his friend again. He pulled him back onto the sofa and as he put his arm around his shoulders, he moved closely next to him. 'I miss you too,' Tom whispered gently rubbing his nose on his cheek, 'I hope you know that,' Alex's heart started racing. It felt so good to have him so close to him. Too good. He didn't look at Tom. Instead he closed his eyes and enjoyed his hot breath on his cheek, 'Alex.' Tom softly whispered into his ear. It was too much for Alex to bear. His breathing turned faster as he subconsciously moaned quietly. Tom moved even closer. He reached and touched his friend's cheek with his hand, gently turning his head towards him. 'Don't. Tommy. Please.' Alex kept his eyes cast down as Tom was resting his forehead against his' again.'I can't fight this any longer.' He whispered so quietly Alex could barely hear him.

Alex groaned as he jumped up quickly and walked towards the window. He had his arms crossed in front of his chest and was breathing hard. 'No,' he shouted, 'I can't feel this way for you. I mustn't. It's wrong,' Alex felt angry now, 'I love Emma. I have a son for God's sake!' He turned towards Tom, who was still sitting on the sofa, surprised and taken aback by the sudden change of mood. 'And I love Christine.' Tom said looking at him. 'See,’ Alex said hectically and nodded, 'that's exactly right. She is a gorgeous girl and you are crazy about her.' He was hoping this was going to take them back in the right direction. They could leave this little moment behind them and move on. It wasn't the first time they found themselves too close to each other. But they had always managed to turn this around.

Somehow this time it felt different though. Alex looked at Tom with begging eyes. Begging for him to get this back on the right track. Tom couldn't hide a tiny smile on his lips. He got up and slowly walked towards his friend. 'But I love you too.' Alex was stunned. He stared at Tom in disbelief. Tom gently put his arms around Alex, who looked down and pressed both his arms against his friend's chest as he was half-heartedly trying to fight off this embrace. Tom kissed his forehead and Alex was still trying to keep him at a distance, desperately fighting this feeling of desire for him. 'Alex please,' Tom's voice was still gentle but full of emotion now, 'I know you want me too.' He whispered. 'No!' Alex kept pushing his fists against Tom's chest but his friend had both his arms wrapped tightly around his upper body. He didn't want to let go. Not this time.

Alex’s mind was racing. He felt awfully torn between what he believed was right and his commitment to his family and this urgent desire of giving into his affection for Tom. He could feel his friend's heart race against his chest, he could smell his scent so close to him, his touch, the warmth of his body. All that just felt too good. Alex took all his courage and looked up into Tom's eyes. He studied his mouth. His fingertips gently touched his friend's lips, totally automatically it seemed. As if he had no control over them. Alex's whole body was trembling and as he closed his eyes, he felt warm tender incredibly soft lips on his mouth. Alex reacted instinctively and opened his mouth a little to welcome Tom's gentle tongue as it carefully pushed past his lips. He tasted so good.

There was no way back for them now. Tom held Alex's head as he kissed him gently. His hands started slowly wandering down Alex's back as his kiss became a little more forceful, more demanding. His breathing turned heavier as his hands stroked up and down Alex's strong back. Alex was electrified. Every touch made him almost jump. His arms were no longer pushing against Tom but instead he had pulled him closer and ran his hands through his hair. Suddenly Tom stopped, which made Alex open his eyes. 'Alex,' Tom whispered, 'I thought...' 'Don't stop,' Alex almost whimpered in his arms, 'you feel so good.' He mouthed at him, not ready yet to say it out loud. Tom smiled reassured gazing at Alex's lips with desire. Alex hadn't felt anything like this before. He was overwhelmed by Tom's scent, by his touch and by the physical passion he felt for him.

As the boys were holding each other closely, they could feel each other's excitement. Alex let his hands slip under his friend's jumper and Tom trembled at his touch. He stifled a moan before Alex suddenly pulled the jumper up over his head. Tom gasped at him. Alex stared at his naked upper body in awe and stroked him gently. He grinned mischievously, grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the spare bedroom. 'Let's go to bed. You need to get up early.' Tom followed Alex dutifully as he was dragged by one hand. They both laughed as Alex pushed his friend onto the unmade bed and they toppled on top of one another. They looked into each other's eyes and kissed passionately. All night, they fully gave into their desires, on a journey of exploring each other's bodies for the first time, excitedly, trying to push all the feelings of guilt aside. Alex felt safe and happy in Tom's arms and he was almost relieved that he didn't have to fight anymore. Tom was right. There was no point.

The boys finally fell asleep around 4 o'clock in the morning. They had both desperately needed some rest but they could not bring themselves to let go and make this night end as a result. Finally though the tiredness had taken its toll. Tom had rested his head on Alex's shoulder as they had been lying next to each other. Alex had held him and pulled a blanket over them both to keep them warm. He had kissed his cheek and forehead and had let him fall asleep. Tom's gentle breathing against his chest had been the most calming sensation for Alex. He had been surprised how natural it all felt. And how happy it had made him.

Alex woke up with a gasp. He was disoriented for a split second. 'Jesus, what time is it.' He thought in panic. It was still quite dark inside the room and as he tried to move to be able to check the clock on the far wall, he could hear Tom quietly stir in his sleep. His friend's head was still resting on his shoulder. 'Tommy.' Alex gently whispered. He softly stroked his hair and inhaled his scent. Tom moved his head in his sleep and Alex gazed at him as he kept stroking his hair. How beautiful he was. How perfect. In every way. Alex gulped as the clarity hit him again. That he had fallen in love with his best friend.

Tom slowly opened his eyes as he woke up and met Alex's eyes gazing at him admiringly. He smiled. Alex kissed his friend, who welcomed his warm full lips. 'Good morning.' Alex said and smiled sheepishly. 'Haven't changed your mind then?', Tom asked cheekily and looked pleased. Alex responded by simply kissing him again, 'please tell me it is not past 7 yet.' Tom looked at Alex with a mix of worry and amusement. 'Oh God,' Alex shouted, 'that's what I was going to bloody check! But you distracted me!' He winked at him and jumped out of bed heading for the light switch. They both wiped their eyes at the unwelcome sudden light and checked the clock. 7.45.

'No! I'm doomed!', Tom whined as he turned his head into the pillow to stifle the sound of his own despair. Alex jumped onto the bed, grabbed both his wrists and turned his friend from his side onto his back. He sat on top of him pinning both his arms down, 'get off me,' Tom chuckled, moaning, 'I've got to go! Alex I'll be late!', he fought Alex's firm grip and tried to push him off, laughing. Alex enjoyed the struggle as he was sitting on his friend grinning at his efforts, 'Alex, I'm serious.' Tom said as he weakened his struggle. 'Oh man. I could start again,' Alex shook his head, 'you drive me crazy.' 'Let go off my hands.' Tom demanded.

Alex finally obeyed and loosened his grip. Tom took full advantage as he grabbed his friend’s arm and twisted it behind his back chuckling with laughter. Alex landed flat on his front gasping as Tom climbed onto his back and pinned him down. 'You cheeky bastard!' Alex shouted, now fighting off his friend's grip. 'This was the best night of my life,' Tom whispered into his ear. Alex's heart started racing again and he stopped struggling. Tom turned him onto his back and smiled at him, 'you have no idea how happy you’ve made me.' He gently stroked his cheeks and touched his lips. He slowly leant forward and kissed Alex, who pulled him towards him. When their kiss became more passionate again, Alex stopped. 'No,' he said pushing Tom away from him, 'you have to go. I will not be responsible for you missing training altogether.' He stroked his hair and kissed him briefly one more time before he pushed him off so hard that Tom nearly went flying off the bed. 'Ouch, alright!' Tom giggled as he dragged himself towards his bag to get his training uniform out. 'Jump in the shower, I'll get you some breakfast ready in the meantime. And coffee. You'll need it.' Alex said still lying in bed following his friend with his eyes. Tom yawned in agreement and left the room. Alex jumped up shortly afterwards and picked up all their clothes that had been thrown and scattered around the room in last night's heat of passion. He nervously chuckled to himself but he could also feel a sense of unease and sheer guilt.

As Alex was preparing some cereal and coffee in the kitchen, Tom rushed in, freshly showered in his training uniform. 'Shit, I have to be quick!', he gratefully accepted the bowl of cereal and a big mug of coffee and the boys sat down at Alex's dinner table. Tom ate quickly, trying to rush as much as possible. He looked at Alex, 'now promise me to kick ass and score some goals. I know you can do it. You can still get the boys out of this muddle. I have faith in you. I always have done,' Tom smiled at him encouragingly, 'and I always will do by the way.' He winked at him finishing off his food. He took a couple of sips of coffee.

Alex held his head looking at his friend. Then he started laughing. 'What's so funny?' Tom giggled amused as well now. Alex took a deep breath and shook his head. 'God, what have we done?’, he gulped gazing at Tom, 'Jesus how is this all going to work Tommy? I mean. We both have girlfriends and I have a family,' he looked at him with questioning eyes, 'what the hell is going to happen now?' Tom looked at him seriously. 'I don't know Alex,' he said, 'I don't have an answer right now. All I know is that we need to make the best of it and make it work somehow,' he paused, 'if we both want to, that is.' Alex stared at him expressionless. 'Alex?', Tom asked anxiously, 'you are not regretting this, are you?' Alex avoided his eyes. He shook his head. 'Tommy, this is crazy. The whole thing, utter madness.' Tom looked at him bravely. 'Are you regretting it?' He asked again and there was an urgency in his voice. 'How can I?', Alex took a deep breath and looked at him, 'I love you.' He finally said quietly. Tom exhaled with relief as he grabbed his head and kissed him. 'Bloody hell!', Tom shouted, 'you scared the shit out of me. Don't do this again, do you hear me?' He laughed nervously and was clutching Alex's hands.

'So when will I see you again?' Alex asked quietly. Tom smiled as he got up, took his hand and pulled him up and towards him. Alex put his arms around him. 'Soon,' Tom whispered in his ear, 'there is definitely February for the friendly against Brazil.' 'February?', Alex looked unimpressed, 'that's in 4 months.' Tom grinned. 'Well. If you can't wait that long to see me again, then I was thinking...how about you and me hide away in the snow for a few days during the winter break in my house in Austria? We could throw ourselves down steep slopes on our snowboards and I can feel really superior as I overtake you,' he giggled, 'and we can chill out by the fire of course.' Tom added and winked at him. Alex laughed as he carefully touched his friend's cheeks and stroked over his hair. He kissed him so gently, so lovingly, Tom's heart jumped. 'I can't wait to race you down the slopes.' Alex gave him a cheeky smile and his friend laughed and kissed him again.

Alex took Tom's hand and slowly led him downstairs to the front door. The boys were facing each other. 'I wish you could come with me.' Tom said finally. 'I wish you could stay,' Alex put his arms around his friend's neck as he kissed him. Tom pulled him close one last time, 'thank you for coming all the way up here.' Alex said gazing at him again. 'Well, I was being selfish as well.' Tom tickled his friend's chest. 'Tommy,' Alex said and started grinning, 'you'll be so late.' They both laughed. 'I'll be fined and fired,' Tom picked up his bag and opened the door, 'bye.' He sadly whispered into Alex's ear as he turned and walked towards his car.

It was still dark and cold outside. Alex stood in the door watching him. 'Tommy,' he shouted. Tom turned and looked at him. Alex crossed his arms and shook his head, 'nothing.' He said loud enough for his friend to hear him. 'We'll make it work.' Tom smiled at him. Alex nodded and smiled back. His friend drove off beeping his horn and Alex waved briefly after him as he was left standing in front of his house. 'Yep,' he said to himself, 'definitely and utterly bloody in love,' he shook his head and couldn't help chuckle at his own feelings in disbelief, 'well, that's just bloody brilliant.'

Chapter 2

The pain was sharp and intense. Alex's ankle had fully given in after only 20 minutes into the match and he was in agony limping on the pitch. He hoped it would sort itself out but eventually had to signal to his manager to get him off. As he grabbed his training jacket and energy drink he cursed and sat down on the bench. His team desperately needed to win this but it wasn't looking good. They were 2-0 down already and it wasn't even half time.

Alex thought of Tom and the days they used to play together. Even when he felt down or was injured Tom's presence always made it seem better. He smiled absently as he let his mind wander back to the day he had come to see him six weeks ago. The day they had become more than just friends. The boys had spoken to each other every other day at least since then and managed to find three days during the winter break that they were both free and were able to meet in Tom's house in Austria. This was only 3 weeks away now, just after New Year and before the training camps started, and Alex and Tom had been getting excited about it for weeks. 'Bloody ankle', Alex cursed to himself, 'this could ruin the trip'.

Alex’s team went on to lose the match yet again. He trotted off, the usual frustration setting in. His ankle was swelling up and he was in more and more pain by the minute. The doctors and physios attended to him and confirmed he was to miss the last match before Christmas and rest now. However this should help him recover more quickly.

He felt relieved when he spoke to Tom that night. 'Hey’, Tom whispered. He was trying to find a private spot in his house, 'how are you? How is the ankle?' 'I'm okay.' Alex smiled when he heard his voice. 'Will I be able to see you still?' Tom asked unsure. 'The physios told me to rest for the next match but said it should be okay for the training camp. So I guess I'll be alright for snowboarding too.' 'That's great news! I was worried it would ruin our trip.' 'Me too.' Alex nodded pressing his mobile closer to his ear. 'We'll have an awesome time. I can't wait to show you everything,' Tom paused, 'I really miss you.' Alex gulped. He imagined Tom's gentle eyes. 'Not long now.' He said quietly and smiled. 'Make sure you rest that ankle. What a pain.' Tom sounded worried again. 'Perhaps you'll need to kiss it better.' Alex said with a giggle. Tom laughed. 'Yes I'm sure that can be arranged.'

January

Alex was lying on the sofa in Tom’s chalet in Seefeld, resting his foot on a cushion. He was enjoying a beer while he was watching an action movie by the roaring fire. It was early evening by now and he actually felt quite tired. Alex had been entertaining himself since he had arrived that afternoon. He had explored the house and taken advantage of Tom’s pool as well as spent some time examining his friend’s music and movie selections.

Alex let his eyes wander outside as he was sipping his beer. The big windows in the lounge were overlooking the whole village of Seefeld and he could see snowy mountains in the distance. The view was spectacular and in principle everything was just perfect. Except for the fact that Tom hadn’t been able to join him that evening after all. His girlfriend Christine had organised a media event with her colleagues without telling Tom beforehand and his friend had had no choice but to postpone his arrival in Seefeld to the next day as he was expected to attend with her. Alex had considered calling off the trip but Tom had insisted on them meeting regardless.

When Alex checked his phone at the end of the movie, he saw a text message from his friend. 'Hope you have found everything okay. I wish I could be there with you now.' 'House isn't bad. Don't miss you.' Alex pressed send and giggled knowing the abuse he would get back: 'Cheeky bastard.' Alex read the message and laughed. He kept watching films to make the time pass quicker and didn't realise how late it had become. In the end he just fell asleep on the sofa. He only woke up again when it was already light outside and he felt quite cold with the fire having burnt down overnight. He stretched on the sofa and wiped his eyes. As he was about to get up, he saw him.

Tom sat opposite him in an armchair. He looked at Alex with the most gentle eyes. 'I'm sorry I'm so late,' he smiled. Alex gasped when their eyes met. All the doubts, all the frustration had gone in an instant. He threw himself towards Tom, who jumped up just in time to catch him, 'wow, easy!', Tom giggled and caught him in his arms, 'it's nice to see you too!' He whispered into Alex's ear. They held each other closely. 'Happy New Year!' Alex squeezed his friend so hard, Tom laughed. 'World Cup Year!' He giggled and beamed at him. They were searching for each other's hands and looked into each other's eyes. Sheepishly at first. Alex carefully rubbed his nose against Tom's and let his forehead rest against his'. Tom's lips were carefully touching Alex's mouth. Briefly and shyly at first. Tom looked at him to check his reaction and Alex couldn't help but giggle. 'Idiot.' He whispered. He closed his eyes and Tom felt reassured by his test. He put his arms around his friend's neck and finally kissed him, gently and carefully. Alex just wanted time to stand still. Tom tasted even better than he remembered. Nothing felt wrong about this. In fact it couldn't feel more right.

'Tommy,' Alex moaned quietly, 'I missed you.' He said whilst still hanging on to Tom's lips. 'You are not too cross because of last night then?' Tom asked as he pulled him closer. 'It depends how you make it up to me.' 'I see', Tom grinned and started kissing him again, 'this is even better than I remembered.' He said cheekily and rested his arms on Alex's shoulders. 'How long have you been watching me for anyway?' Alex asked pretending to be offended by the sneakiness. 'Only a couple of minutes,' Tom winked at him, 'I've brought breakfast,' he nodded towards a bag of fresh bread rolls, 'the sun is coming out already. It will be a glorious day,' he beamed at his friend, 'I told you I'd be there when you wake up.' He looked pleased with himself.

They shared another long intense kiss whilst Tom was slowly pushing his friend towards the sofa and Alex was forced to move backwards. He could feel reaching the edge of it when he stopped and looked at Tom. He saw the desire in his eyes but put one finger on his friend's lips and grinned. 'No,' he said teasingly, 'you can't just march in here, late, and get what you want.' Tom smiled sheepishly and kissed Alex's finger. 'I can't promise you that I can wait all day though.' Alex kissed him briefly and then pushed him away. 'The slopes won't wait. And I'm starving!' He walked into the kitchen and Tom followed him with a grin and a sigh.

'How is your ankle?' Tom asked as they started preparing breakfast. Alex pulled up his left trouser leg and revealed his bandaged foot. He pouted his lips and Tom pulled a face. 'Ouch, not good!' He put one arm around Alex's shoulder comforting him. 'How was last night's event?' Alex asked in return. 'Yeah, alright. Just a bit unexpected,' Tom put his arms around Alex from behind, 'let's not talk about that.' He inhaled Alex's scent and kissed him gently on the cheek. 'Why not?', Alex asked surprised, 'if you wanted to tell me something that was on your mind with Christine then I want to still hear about it. Like always, you know. I'm still your friend too.' He focussed back on preparing breakfast. Tom was leaning onto Alex's shoulder and smiled at him. 'I'd rather not talk at all.' He whispered and grinned cheekily. Alex gave him a slap. 'Idiot!' He laughed.

The boys enjoyed a hearty and long breakfast catching up on all the latest events in their careers, sharing thoughts and ideas. Alex talked about the concerns within his club, Tom encouraged him wholeheartedly as usual. They got dressed in their ski gear and got themselves excited about spending the day on the slopes together. They did a couple of easy runs first to ease themselves back into it. Tom was a brilliant snowboarder and had no problems at all. He was in stitches of laughter watching Alex fall over on his board time and again. But Alex was ambitious and competitive enough not to give in and he improved within several hours. Tom was pleased with his friend's progress. They loved the fact that no-one recognised them in their ski gear and they could just be themselves without being hunted down for autographs.

They stopped for lunch in an intimate little mountain restaurant. Tom knew the owners and the boys received a warm and genuine welcome. They looked surprised to see Tom come in with Alex but got even more excited to have two famous footballers in their restaurant. The boys shared a huge lunch and laughed talking about how their morning went. Alex loved every second they spent together. He was mindful not to gaze at Tom too much. 'Stop laughing,' Alex whispered, amused by himself, 'I might make a mistake.' Tom shook his head chuckling as he sipped his coffee they had ordered for dessert. His eyes said everything he couldn't say out loud and Alex smiled at him sheepishly.

After a few more long and challenging runs in the afternoon, the boys returned to the house. They took off their jackets and boots and Alex let himself slouch down on a chair. Tom took his hand and pulled him up again. He put his arms around him. 'I'm impressed with your performance. Not bad at all for the first day.' He kissed him lovingly and Alex happily gave in resting his arms around his friend's neck.

Tom took Alex's hand and led him to the pool. He quickly took his clothes off and winked at his friend, who just stared at him. 'Fancy joining me for a swim?', Tom asked and dived in. He resurfaced after a few strokes and giggled at Alex, who hadn't moved, 'come on!' Alex shook his head in disbelief, smiling. He took his clothes off and Tom was watching his every move. Alex dived in and swam towards Tom under water. He grabbed him and Tom giggled and took a deep breath as Alex pulled him under. He eventually managed to fight him off and swam away. Both dived back up gasping for air, chuckling. 'You are such an idiot!' Tom couldn't stop laughing. 'You so asked for that!' Alex protested. He swam towards him and grabbed him again, more gently this time. Tom was still chuckling as he put his arms around his friend's neck and they kissed each other whilst Alex was holding him close in the water.

'You feel good.' Alex whispered closing his eyes. Tom stroked his hair. As they kissed each other again, Alex couldn't stop his hands from wandering all over Tom's body. Tom kissed his neck and Alex let his head rest against the side of the pool. Tom had wrapped his legs around his friend's hips and Alex could see the pleasure and lust in his eyes. He watched excitedly as Tom was shivering and breathing hard, clinging on to Alex, begging for his arms to hold him. Alex instinctively hugged him protectively and kissed his cheek, 'you got what you wanted now.' He whispered and smiled. Tom was still breathing heavily and looked at him. He started pushing his body against Alex as he kissed him passionately. Alex gasped when he felt his friend's hand but Tom just smiled at him confidently and gently kissed him again. As Alex was breathing harder, looking for his friend’s arms, Tom held him and kissed his forehead and cheeks. He smiled again. 'Now we both did.'

The boys eventually got out of the pool and prepared the lounge for the evening. Tom started making some food in the kitchen while Alex attended to lighting the fire. He gazed out of the window admiring the view again. It was dark but he could still see the white snowy mountains in the distance. Once the fire was roaring, he got up and stood by the window, his hands in his pockets. He thought of his girlfriend and son and hoped they were okay. Alex struggled with the guilt, but he couldn't even bear the thought of not being with Tom. The fact they had become intimate completed their friendship and affection they had already felt for each other. It had made it perfect.

Alex was so lost in thought that he didn't hear Tom come into the lounge. He jumped as he felt his friend's arms around him. 'Hey, sorry,' Tom giggled, 'I didn't mean to scare you.' Alex's heart was racing. He shook his head and laughed. 'I was in my own world.' 'What's happening in your world?' Tom asked kissing his cheek as he held him from behind. Alex hesitated a moment. 'Tommy, how do you cope with this guilt?', he asked quietly, 'you know. The fact you are cheating on Christine. With me.' He turned around towards him. His friend's face was serious. 'Interesting question.' 'I'm just asking because I find it hard.' Alex cast his eyes down. Tom smiled at him. He gently touched his chin and pulled it up. 'I know. I do too,' Tom nodded, 'in a way I'm in love with you and her.' He said quietly. 'And what if you had to choose?' Alex challenged him. Tom grabbed Alex's head and kissed him. He looked into his friend’s eyes. 'We're footballers. We can't be openly in love with men. You know that as well as I do. So we have no choice,' Alex noticed the sadness in Tom’s eyes, 'but if the world was a different place and we could be who we wanted to be then I would be the proudest man to be by your side,' he gulped and stroked Alex's cheeks, 'and I would choose you.' Alex smiled sadly. He nodded, hugging his friend. 'Me too.' He said kissing his cheek and the boys held each other silently. 'Can we now please have some food before I faint?' Tom whispered into Alex's ear. 'Alright then!' Alex chuckled and took Tom's hand as he led him to the table where Tom had put some snacks out.

They chatted and ate, reminding themselves of the events of their day before they both went into the kitchen to cook dinner together. Tom was in charge and Alex obediently followed instructions. He opened a bottle of red wine and poured two glasses. He smiled at Tom cooking. 'I feel bad now. All I served you in Hamburg last time was frozen pizza!' Tom laughed. 'I know but I wouldn't expect anything else from you! Ouch,' he giggled when Alex hit him playfully with the kitchen towel. Tom put him in charge of the wine, the fire and the music, 'hopefully you can cope with that.' He winked at him.

Alex dutifully laid the table and stocked up the fire. He chose one of their favourite albums on Tom's iPod and could hear his friend whistle approvingly from the kitchen. They enjoyed their dinner and their wine and talked for hours about everything and anything. After Alex had gone into the kitchen to top up their glasses, he came back into the lounge to find Tom sitting on the floor by the fire. He looked up at Alex and gave him a beaming smile, patting the floor next to him with his hand. Alex laughed as he sat down and carefully placed the wine glasses in front of them. He put one arm around his friend and kissed his hair. Alex closed his eyes inhaling his scent. 'You smell so good,' he said stroking his hair, 'did you know that?' He giggled. 'No as a matter of fact I didn't!' Tom laughed. They were both relaxing looking at the fire roaring in front of them, silently enjoying their wine and listening to their favourite music. Both wished time could just stand still.

Then Tom sat up and looked at Alex. He climbed on top of his legs and sat on his thighs facing him. He stroked his cheeks and lips. Alex rested his head against the sofa behind him and smiled. Tom leant forward and kissed him longingly. 'Are you seducing me again?' Alex whispered lustfully into his friend's ear. Tom smiled at him cheekily and closed his eyes. Alex took control this time. He pulled up Tom's jumper and started kissing his stomach. His friend was breathing harder and trembled at every kiss. Alex carefully pushed him on to his back on the floor. He slowly undid his belt and opened his jeans as he was still kissing his upper body. Feeling wild with lust now, he was undressing his friend and could hear him moan quietly at his every touch. The taste of his skin and the smell of his scent was all Alex could focus on and he thoroughly enjoyed making Tom feel good.

The boys were wrapped in each other's arms, slowly catching their breath, when the music stopped and all they could hear was the fire spitting and crackling. 'Hold me closer.' Alex whispered and Tom hugged him more tightly. 'Hey', Tom stroked his hair, 'are you alright?' Alex clung on to his friend and forced a laugh. 'Yeah. I just don't want to ever lose you.' He smiled at him sadly. 'Hey', Tom checked his face, 'I'm afraid you're stuck with me,' he laughed, 'I love you Alex. I always will,' he kissed him gently, 'let's get some sleep. We have another busy day tomorrow.' Alex smiled back at him and nodded. Tom took his hand and led him up to the bedroom. They let themselves fall into the big bed and Alex curled up against Tom's chest. 'I'm so tired now.' He mumbled. Tom giggled and kissed him and within minutes the boys had both fallen asleep.

The next day Tom was pleased to see that Alex's snowboarding skills had improved considerably so he took him straight up the mountain. The boys continued their adventure and made sure they covered all the runs of the area. Around mid-afternoon they boarded to a nearby little restaurant and this time they were lucky that it was quiet and no-one recognised them. They ordered cakes and coffee and Alex contently enjoyed the rest break.

Tom checked his phone and his face turned serious. 'For God's sake.' He mumbled. Alex looked at him. 'What?' He asked alarmed. 'She is playing the guilt game,' Tom frowned re-reading the message. Alex ate his cake and waited for his friend to elaborate. Tom packed his phone away and smiled, 'it doesn't matter,' he looked at Alex's empty plate, 'my God you were hungry!' He laughed and started eating his piece. 'Tommy. It does matter. What did she say?', Tom shook his head as his face turned serious again. Alex touched Tom's leg under the table, 'remember what I said to you yesterday?' Tom grinned cheekily. 'That you love me?' He whispered quietly. 'No’, Alex tutted, 'that I'm still your friend and that I want to know what's on your mind, you idiot.' He kept looking at him expectantly. 'It's nothing, she's just giving me grief because I dared to go on a trip with you.' Alex smiled sadly. 'So what are you going to do about it?' 'Nothing.' Tom finished his cake and sipped his coffee.

Alex hadn't thought of saying goodbye yet but this conversation painfully reminded him that their time together was coming to an end.

'Hey, I'm certainly not intending to leave any earlier if that's what you're thinking.' He was searching for Alex's hand under the table and squeezed it hard when he found it. 'Are you sure?' Alex asked quietly. Tom beamed at him. 'Totally.' He said and squeezed his hand again.

The boys got underway, refreshed after their rest break, and enjoyed a couple more long runs in the afternoon sunshine. They increased their speed and raced each other down steep black runs. Alex was having so much fun, he tried not to think about their earlier conversation. But by the time they reached the house, he had become very quiet. Tom noticed his pensiveness but didn't want to pry. Alex silently started the fire again for the evening. He could hear his friend speaking on the phone to Christine in the bedroom but didn't catch every word he said. Tom's voice swung between gentle and frustrated. 'I'll see you tomorrow.' Alex heard him conclude before he opened the door towards the lounge.

Tom joined him by the fire. He watched him light the wood and newspapers and put his arm around him. 'What's the matter?', he asked him. Alex focussed on the task in hand, 'hey,' Tom said tenderly, 'are you angry with me?', he nudged him, 'for boarding faster than you?' He winked at him. Alex laughed out loud. He looked into Tom's gentle eyes and couldn't help but kiss him again. 'I just don't want to say goodbye again Tommy.' He gulped. Tom cast his eyes down and nodded. 'I know,' he said gently, 'but we've still got tonight.' He gave his friend a cheeky smile. Alex played along and laughed. 'Yes we do,’ he kissed him, 'and all this food to eat!' Tom's eyes lit up. He hugged him and jumped up to put some music on. He rushed into the kitchen and started cooking.

Alex decided to keep himself occupied. As he laid the table and attended the wine Tom told him a silly story from his club, which genuinely made Alex chuckle. He reminded him of things to look forward to like the training camp in the Mediterranean in a couple of days they both would attend with their respective clubs and the internationals in only a few weeks when they would meet again. 'Are we not playing against you the weekend before?' Alex asked him. Tom was trying to remember the schedule. 'Possibly!' He nodded. 'One day we'll beat you!' Alex challenged him confidently. Tom tickled him. 'No chance mate.'

They sat down at the dinner table and enjoyed their food. Alex was feeling a little better. 'I never knew what a good chef you are.' 'Years of bachelor experience.' Tom winked at him. 'I'm sorry about earlier.' Alex shook his head. 'It's okay,' Tom said with a straight face, 'you’re allowed to kiss me.' Alex burst out laughing and kicked him under the table. 'Ouch,' Tom giggled, 'will you stop hitting me!' 'You deserve it!' Alex laughed. 'So ungrateful!' Tom complained as he took another sip of his wine. Alex turned serious again. 'I didn't mean to be negative. Christ, you had enough to deal with with Christine,' he paused and looked at him, 'was she alright?' Tom finished his wine and went into the kitchen. 'Well, as much as she can be I guess,’ he came back with a new bottle in his hand, 'Emma doesn't seem to be as possessive. And you have a child!' Alex smiled at him gently. ‘Christine has always been quite demanding though Tommy. She’s an actress, remember?’ Tom nodded and laughed exhaustedly.

The boys silently enjoyed the crackling of the fire and their wine. 'Oh man. I wish it could always be like this.' Tom said. Alex smiled mischievously. 'You have read my mind,' he got up and pulled his friend up from the chair. He kissed his cheek and pulled him closer, 'we really haven't made enough of that massive bed upstairs yet,' he whispered in his ear. Tom giggled amused, 'don't you think?' Alex asked resting his forehead against Tom's. 'Are you seducing me now?' Tom asked and kissed Alex's lips with desire. They stroked each other gently before Alex grabbed Tom's hand and dragged him upstairs. He felt wild with lust again. He pushed Tom onto the bed and started undressing him fast. 'Easy.' Tom said holding his head. Alex was breathing hard. 'Did I hurt you?' He asked worried. 'No, idiot,' Tom chuckled and stroked his hair, 'just slow down a bit,' he smiled at Alex, who tried to control himself, 'do you want to try it?' His smile turned mischievous and it took Alex a moment to realise what he meant. He hesitated and bit his lip. Then he shook his head. 'Tommy,' he kissed him, 'I don't think I'm ready for this.' 'But you want to?', Tom smiled, 'don't you?' he whispered in his ear, 'be really close to me?' Alex shivered and continued undressing Tom more carefully kissing his neck, chest and arms. Tom moaned with pleasure. 'Tommy,' Alex sat up, 'I don't think this is a good idea.' But Tom's lustful eyes and demanding kiss quickly convinced him otherwise and ultimately made him stop fighting his own desire.

'How good was that?' Tom quietly asked kissing him. 'Pretty good,' Alex smiled as he was still catching his breath. Tom clung on to his friend's arms, gently kissing his shoulder, 'sounded like you enjoyed that too?' Alex asked and grinned cheekily. 'Not at all.' Tom giggled. 'Told you it was a bad idea.' Alex winked at him. They held, kissed and stroked each other reassuringly.

Suddenly Alex burst out laughing and shook his head. 'What's so funny?' Tom asked amused. Alex rested his forehead against Tom's. 'Who would have thought this was going to happen when we played together.' Tom laughed too now. 'All innocent and clueless we were.''If we had known then how we would feel for each other...' 'Then we would have not made the choices we made.' Tom finished his sentence. 'When did it happen?' Alex asked him. Tom smiled gently and held him closely again. 'I think it was always there,' he whispered, 'we just couldn't see it.' Alex kissed him. 'I wish we did.' He lay down next to his friend, who curled up against his chest.

Alex stroked Tom's arms and shoulders as he was looking outside the window admiring the snowy mountains again. To him, this felt like the safest, most relaxing place, where the boys could just be themselves. He could hear Tom breathe gently and smiled. 'Good night.' He whispered and kissed his hair. He held him tightly and Tom stirred in his sleep. Alex enjoyed the last few minutes of another perfect day with his best friend until he had to let go and fell asleep as well.

'Tommy! Where are you?' Alex screamed into the distance. He desperately tried to see but the fog was too dense. As he moved forward at snail pace with his arms stretched out in front of him, he could hear Tom shouting his name but Alex couldn't get to him fast enough. He cursed at not being able to see where he was going when suddenly the fog lifted and he found himself standing right by the edge of a cliff. Tom had fallen and was desperately trying to hang on by his bare hands. Alex lay down on his front and shouted his name out loud. He stretched his arm down as far as he could and Tom tried to reach his hand. 'Alex, I can't hold on.' Alex was in utter terror trying to save him. 'Tommy! Grab my hand!' He shouted in despair. Tom stared at him with wet eyes and to Alex's horror, he let go and fell hundreds of metres into the darkness. Alex could hear him scream his name as he fell but the desperate sound faded quickly. And all Alex wanted to do was to jump after him.

He suddenly sat up and gasped for air. It was the middle of the night and Tom's head was still resting on his chest but the sudden movement woke him up. 'Hey,' he mumbled half asleep, 'are you alright?', Alex was breathing hard and covered in sweat. Tom sat up and put his arm around his shoulders comforting him, 'Alex,' he said sleepily and switched the light on, 'did you have a nightmare?' He gently stroked his back. 'You're still here.' Alex muttered and looked at Tom with relief. He hugged him and buried his face in his shoulder. 'Alex,' Tom said, 'come on, it was just a dream. Of course I'm still here.' He held and soothed him gently. 'I dreamed I lost you.' 'Oh dear. In the snow?' Tom giggled. 'No,' Alex said seriously, 'I don't know,' he added confused, 'but it was for good.' 'Hey,' Tom hugged him again, 'it was just a dream. Come on,' Tom lay back down and encouraged Alex to rest his head against his chest, 'everything’s okay.' Alex slowly calmed down in his friend's arms and felt safe again. He took a deep breath and looked into his eyes before he kissed him lovingly. 'Are you okay now?' Tom asked gently. Alex nodded and smiled stroking Tom's chest. 'You scared me for a minute, you nutter!' Tom giggled. 'I scared myself!' Alex said and shook his head. 'Perhaps I can help you relax again.' Tom stroked up and down his back. Alex couldn't have wished for a better way to make him feel better. He closed his eyes again and went back to sleep.

The next morning the boys woke up early but tried to put off saying goodbye for as long as possible. They lay in bed and chatted for hours until Alex decided to drag Tom downstairs to the pool one more time. He jumped in and enjoyed the refreshing water on his skin. 'I reckon I'll get a pool,' he shouted towards Tom, who looked at him from the edge with an amused smile, 'what do you think?' Tom nodded in agreement. He dived in and swam towards his friend. Alex hugged and kissed him when he reached him. He held him so close Tom could hardly breathe. 'I have had such an awesome time,' Alex said holding him, 'I loved every second with you. I just want you to know that.' Tom beamed and kissed him. 'So would you say it was worth the wait despite me being late?' He asked. 'Well I wouldn't go that far.' Alex said and grinned before he took a deep breath and pulled him under water. Tom gasped in surprise. ‘Wait until I kick your ass when we play you in a few weeks, you won’t be laughing then!’ He shouted when he dived back up chuckling. The boys continued to play-fight and just wanted to forget about time. At some point Tom had to give in, he was in stitches of laughter. 'Enough!' He shouted and put his hands in the air catching his breath. Alex grabbed him gently and kissed him. 'Okay,' he said with a smug grin, 'now what about my breakfast?'

Chapter 3

4 weeks later

'Alex, next week you will be facing your old team mate Tom at home. Is this a special match for you?' The journalist asked him. 'Yes sure it is. I'm still good friends with Tom and also know some of the other players well through the German team. Tom played here for years so he'll be thrilled to be back again as well.' 'Your team is not in a good place at the moment, you have lost the last three matches against clubs a lot weaker than Tom’s. Do you really think you can beat them?' 'We are very strong at home. Of course they are better on paper but we will play and fight to get three points here next weekend.'

Alex left the editor's office after the interview and got into his car. He was nervous about the upcoming match knowing that his team wouldn't have the slightest chance to win this. A draw is all he could realistically hope for. As he drove home he wondered what was going to happen to his club at the end of the season and consequently what would happen to him. He pushed the thoughts aside and instead thought of the fact that he would finally see Tom again.

The weekend in Austria felt like a lifetime ago. They had both been busy with their clubs and Alex still had to digest one defeat after another since then. The press criticised him most days but he was used to it by now. Tom was chasing the title with his club and whilst competition was fierce, Tom's problems were nowhere near as desperate as Alex's. Throughout all the latest events the boys' relationship kept Alex going, Tom's encouragement kept him focussed and saved him from despair. Alex felt torn between the excitement of finally seeing him this weekend and the bleak vision of losing yet again. This time against his best friend and the man he loved.

Tom felt a lot more cheerful about it all. 'So what are we going to do? We have our international friendly in Berlin three days after, so I'll stay in Hamburg of course. Are we going out?' Tom asked him on the phone that evening. Alex hesitated. 'I would have invited you to stay at our house but I don't think we can do this Tommy. On the other hand Emma will wonder why you are staying in a hotel.' 'It's okay, you're right I shouldn't come to yours. Just tell her I have to stay in a hotel, it's what the managers want. Will you stay with me?', Tom whispered and Alex's heart started racing. He bit his lip as he thought it through, 'Alex?' 'Yes I will work something out. I won't be able to stay away from you anyway,' he laughed with a hint of despair in his voice, 'you have put some sort of spell on me.' He could hear Tom smile. 'Ah, I guess I'll be busy celebrating the win of course,' Tom said cheerfully, 'so you may not be in the mood for me anyway.' 'Let's see, shall we?' Alex spat through his teeth and Tom laughed.

The week passed so quickly that Alex could hardly believe when it was Saturday morning, match day. 'You are very quiet,' Emma gently took his hand at the breakfast table, 'almost pale. Are you okay baby?' She asked. 'I'm okay,' he smiled at her, 'it's just the nerves.' 'Hmmm, this is going to be a special match isn't it? How's Tommy? Is he staying here tonight?' Alex didn't feel like finishing his breakfast. He got up, grabbed Max and buried his head in his little jumper cuddling him. The child chuckled and beamed at him. 'No, he'll stay in a hotel. He'll probably feel like going out and party after they thrash us!' He whined. Emma laughed and stood up. She walked towards him and hugged him. 'I will love you regardless of whether they thrash you or not!' Alex gulped and looked at her. He kissed her gently. 'Thank you. I'm very lucky,' he felt guilty and awful, 'right, better go and face the enemy!' He cuddled and tickled Max again and whispered in his ear, 'will you watch Uncle Tommy thrash daddy on television today with mummy?' 'Yeah!' Max giggled and Alex frowned at him. 'Hey, only because he bought you one cool electric car last Christmas doesn't mean he is all that you know!' 'Uncle Tommy!' Max cheered and Alex chuckled to himself. 'I'm clearly not the only one he has put a spell on.' He kissed his son, handed him to Emma, grabbed his bag and left the house.

'We have just gone past Hanover. We'll be there in about two hours I would have thought!' Tom was shouting into his mobile from the team bus he was travelling in. Alex could hardly hear him, it seemed Tom’s team was that excited. 'Who is that shouting next to you?' Alex asked somewhat annoyed. 'Oh, it's Kai,' Tom giggled, 'he sends his love.' 'I bet he bloody well does.' Alex muttered. Kai was one of Tom's team mates who also played for Germany. 'Hey,' Tom sounded more gentle now, 'you know I can't wait, don't you?' Alex smiled. 'To thrash us?' He teased him. 'Yeah.' Tom laughed. 'And to kiss me better?' Alex asked. 'Yeah.' Tom cheered.

Alex and his team started warming up in the stadium and as he focussed on the exercise and the routine he slowly started feeling less nervous about the match. But his heart was still racing at the thought of seeing his friend again.

'They're here,' he heard his manager shout over to him, 'we better say hello and welcome them to the best stadium in the country!' The team cheered and Alex felt somewhat queasy again. He was alert preparing himself to stay calm when he was to spot him. 'Alex!' Felix and Kai cheered, slowly jogging towards him. Alex shook their hands and high fived them. 'Hey, good to see you!' Alex grinned at his German team mates.

'Alex!' He knew that voice only too well. He turned and saw Tom walking towards him, his face beaming at him, his arm bent, ready for the handshake. Alex smiled and jogged towards him. 'Hey!' He ignored the hand and hugged him instead. Tom chuckled but squeezed him hard. 'Idiot.' He whispered into his ear. 'I haven't seen you for ages.' Alex gulped looking at him, conscious of all the boys close by. 'It's been way too long.' Tom patted the back of his head, put his arm around his shoulders and they both walked towards the changing rooms. Alex relished his friend's mere presence. Tom winked at him before he joined his team mates again. 'I'll see you after the match.' Alex briefly squeezed his hand and nodded. 'Good luck!' he shouted at all the boys only to receive roars of abuse in return. He shook his head and walked off laughing.

It was time. Alex followed his team captain out onto the pitch. The atmosphere was breath-taking, the stadium was packed and he knew he could count on his club's fans' support. He took deep breaths and tried to focus. And not to look at Tom. He could tell his friend was going for the same strategy. All that mattered now was to win this match. Both instantly became the professional footballers they are, here to do their job and do it well.

Alex and his team fought hard and defended well against an ever dominant opponent side. In the 20th minute Alex saw Tom roll on the floor in agony after a foul, which resulted in a yellow card for his club. Alex couldn't help but check on him even though most of Tom's team mates already did just that. He had to control himself not to push everyone else out of the way and touch him. 'Are you okay?', Tom held his ankle still lying on his side, 'Tommy!' Alex hissed worried. Tom slowly got back on to all fours before he stood up again. He tried to smile at Alex in pain. 'I'm fine.' Alex nodded relieved and moved on. But before he knew it Tom’s team had outplayed their defence and scored. Alex was spewing. He shouted and clapped his hands encouraging the boys to keep going. Tom’s club set the pace and only a few minutes before half time Alex watched with concern as they nearly scored again.

At half time Alex and his team were 1-0 down and they trotted into the changing rooms shaking their heads. He didn't look at Tom or any other opponent players, who felt smug walking off the pitch. 'He'll pay for this later.' Alex thought to himself and had to hide a tiny smile. In the changing rooms Alex echoed his manager's words to the team. 'Come on now, they are walking all over you! You can still win this boys. Go out there and show them who is at home here.' The team cheered and Alex felt focussed again.

The second half started strong again for Tom’s club and they nearly scored their second goal within minutes. But somehow the speech resonated in some action and Alex started putting the pressure on. He fought, ran, passed and then the boys had scored their first goal and equalised. The fans were up on their seats shouting and cheering. He looked at Tom, who was shouting at his team in frustration not to lose concentration. But Alex and his club had played themselves into a frenzy and Alex knew they could do this now. And they did. Just before the 90th minute, it was Alex who scored and secured them 3 points. The boys hugged, cheered and shouted. Alex had forgotten about Tom, who held his head in despair and frustration at the final whistle. The team celebrated with their fans on the pitch for almost an hour after the match. Alex gave interviews and autographs. He felt proud, relieved and couldn't wait to find Tom in the changing rooms after his shock.

And there he was, sat on the bench, showered and ready to go. He held his head, lost in thought. Alex briefly checked whether there was anyone else in the changing rooms. 'Hey', he said quietly bending down towards him. He placed his hands on Tom's thighs, 'hello,' he whispered and rubbed his nose against Tom's hands, which he kept pressed against his face. Then Tom put his arms around his friend's neck. Alex gulped as he looked into his sad eyes before he kissed him gently. Tom smiled nervously. 'What do you think you are you doing?' He asked anxiously, looking around to make sure no-one was there. 'Kissing you better.' Alex grinned. 'You should wait with that.' Tom stroked his hair but it only made Alex kiss him again more hungrily. Tom pushed him away gently and cast his eyes down. 'Hey,' Alex stroked his thighs, 'come on, you always win!', he laughed, 'let us have this day,' Tom pulled a face and stuck his tongue out at his friend. Alex chuckled and hugged him, holding him closely, 'I'm so happy to see you,' he whispered into his ear. Tom squeezed him hard, 'take me home,' Alex said and Tom looked at him, unsure as to what he meant. Alex grinned, 'to the hotel. With you.'

Alex had a shower before they set off and said a cheery goodbye to his team mates. 'Are you not coming out to celebrate Alex?' One of them asked. 'I've got to entertain the enemy tonight.' Alex grinned. 'Ahh is Tommy staying? Cool. Make sure you give him lots of shit for this.' There was roaring laughter.

Tom was very quiet throughout the car journey to his hotel. Alex couldn't help show off his good mood and gave Tom a Hamburg sightseeing lecture when they crossed one of the many bridges to drive into the city centre. 'See, even the sun has come out to remind you of the Aussenalster in all its glory!' Tom gave him a look and giggled. 'You are loving this aren't you? Bastard.' Alex stroked his thigh. 'Imagine you had just won against one of the best teams in Germany? How would you feel?' Tom nodded. 'I know,' he sighed, 'I'll get over it.'

Tom jumped out of the car with his bag when they reached the hotel and went ahead to check in. Alex parked and waited for the text message that would tell him which room he was in. In the meantime he called Emma and excitedly told her about the match. 'I'm taking Tommy out tonight. He needs a bit of cheering up,' he cringed at his own words. She laughed and passed the phone to Max, 'so who was better daddy or Uncle Tommy?' Alex asked proudly. 'Uncle Tommy!', Max cheered, 'daddy only one goal!' Alex started laughing in disbelief. 'Tell mummy she is a bad influence on you. That's outrageously bad judgement Max.' He finished the call and chuckled to himself. By that time the text message had arrived: 'Room 305'.

Tom checked it was Alex and welcomed him with a smile. Alex slipped in quickly and closed and locked the door behind him. He gazed at Tom as he turned and walked away and then quickly grabbed and kissed him. He let his hands wander down his back, under his jumper, into his jeans. Tom giggled quietly. 'Did you miss me?' He asked whilst Alex was kissing his neck. 'Not at all.' Tom stopped him and held his head to look at him. 'I'm not sure I'm in the mood for this.' He stroked his hair gazing at him. 'Don't tease me,' Alex said warningly and tried to kiss him again. Tom laughed as he turned his head so Alex's kiss ended up on his cheek, 'I know you are,' Alex whispered lustfully holding him closely, 'I can feel it.' He grinned cheekily, pushed Tom onto the bed and toppled on top of him. The boys quickly and hungrily undressed each other and Alex realised he had almost forgotten how good all this felt. Tom's hot breath on his cheek, his friend's whole body covered in sweat and his noises of desire for him. Alex relished all of it. They held each other tightly, both enjoying their shared moment of pleasure.

Tom was resting his head against his friend's chest and Alex stroked his arms and hair. They were both only just starting to relax after today's events. 'Welcome back,' Alex gulped when he looked into Tom's eyes and pulled him closer to his chest. Tom smiled and stroked him gently, 'are you still angry about the match?' Tom laughed. 'Yes,' he kissed his shoulder, 'of course. But let's say you just made up for some of it.' Alex hugged him and giggled. 'Oh good. So you are ready to hit the town?' Tom laughed again. 'Wow, what have you got planned then?' 'I'm taking you to the newest, coolest restaurant in Hamburg for dinner. We've got an hour to get ready. And then see where the night takes us.' Alex beamed at his friend. 'Sounds good.' Tom nodded and smiled at him.

Alex drove them to the restaurant in the harbour and the boys were warmly welcomed and led into a separate VIP area. Tom had to bear the jokes and grief by the waiters, who couldn't help make smug comments about the triumph of their city’s earlier victory. Tom played along and smiled wryly. 'Sorry.' Alex mumbled under his breath grinning from ear to ear once they had sat down at their table. 'No you're not.' Tom winked at him. 'I tell you who supported you today despite the match result,' Alex said and Tom looked at him amused, 'my son.' Tom cheered. 'Max! My boy!' 'Uncle Tommy this and Uncle Tommy that,' Alex said in a silly voice pretending to be annoyed. Tom nodded, pleased about the news. Alex's face turned sad all of a sudden when he thought of Max and Tom nearly made the mistake of instinctively taking his hand. Alex smiled at him sadly, 'he's still your biggest fan.' 'He's got good taste. Like his daddy,' Tom concentrated on his hands behaving. Alex kicked him under the table, 'ouch, oh here we go again,' Tom said and they both laughed, 'this is actually really difficult.' Tom muttered. 'I know,' Alex nodded, 'it's okay though, look you can do this instead.' He nudged his knee under the table and Tom giggled. Alex was pleased to see his friend happy and relaxed again. The boys enjoyed their dinner and left having generously tipped the waiters.

'So?' Alex turned to Tom in the street and shrugged his shoulders. 'So?' Tom looked at him amused. 'Where do you want to go now?' Tom crossed his arms in front of his chest. 'Shouldn't you tell me where we're going?' 'Club?', Alex asked, 'bar?,' he continued and Tom smiled, 'back to bed?' Alex whispered in his ear and Tom pushed him away. 'Idiot.' He chuckled. Alex grinned and put one arm around Tom's shoulders as they took a few steps together. Then he let go again. 'I know just the place,' Alex said confidently and led the way, 'somewhere you haven't been to yet.' He grinned at his friend. They strolled through the harbour area before they made their way towards the Reeperbahn wearing their baseball caps, chatting and joking and enjoying each other's company.

Once they had arrived at a private bar and club, Tom gave Alex a look. 'This isn't some sort of men's club is it? To pick up girls?' Alex shook his head. 'It's a gay club. Relax, you're back in Hamburg now.' Tom was horrified and hectically looked around. 'Have you lost your mind?' He hissed at him. Alex cast his eyes down and started chuckling with laughter. 'I love having you on.' He couldn't stop giggling. Tom rolled his eyes and hit him playfully. 'Idiot.' He shouted and started laughing as well. The bouncers greeted the boys as they entered. Tom realised that there was a live gig on that night. 'Who's playing?' He asked Alex, who winked at him and smiled. 'Surprise.'

It was fairly dark in the room already in preparation for the performance to start. The boys sat down opposite each other at a table in the corner. Alex waved at a couple of his team mates he had spotted across the room. 'Do you want to join them?' Tom asked. Alex leant forward towards his friend. 'I'd rather be alone with you.' He whispered into his ear. They looked at each other, their lips dangerously close. Alex gulped and leant back in his seat. Tom smiled and squeezed his hand under the table.

When the band came on stage Tom cheered. 'It's Jurassic 5?', he looked at Alex in disbelief, 'that's bloody awesome!' It was one of the many hip hop bands they both loved. They enjoyed the gig and even got to meet the band afterwards. Alex did end up saying hello to his team mates after all, who were still feeling smug about the match result. Tom took it all on the chin and laughed with them. At one point he leant towards Alex. 'Stay with me tonight.' He whispered into his ear. Alex looked at him and felt like kissing him right there and then. Tom could read his mind and winked at him cheekily.

The boys said goodbye and left the club slowly wandering back through the city towards the car. Alex drove back to the hotel and Tom shivered rubbing his hands. 'God, I had forgotten how bloody cold it is up here.' Alex chuckled quietly and stroked his thigh. He knew the right thing to do would be to drop Tom off and drive home. But it's not what he wanted to do. When they reached the hotel, Alex stopped outside and turned off the engine. 'Here we are.' He said quietly. Tom looked at him nervously. 'Are you coming in?' Alex hesitated holding his hand. He took a deep breath. 'Tommy...' 'I know,' Tom stopped him, 'I know,' he smiled bravely, 'well. Thank you for an awesome evening,' he squeezed his hand, 'will you pick me up tomorrow at lunchtime to drive to Berlin?' 'Yes of course.' Alex gulped and nodded. Tom kissed him quickly on the cheek but Alex grabbed and hugged him tightly. 'Alex, hey, stop beating yourself up, okay?', Tom said, 'it's cool,' he smiled at him, 'now go. I'll see you tomorrow.' He squeezed his hand and got out of the car. Alex watched him jog into the hotel entrance and followed him with his eyes until he was out of sight.

He thought of their weekend in Austria. When Tom was late because of Christine. But also how he hadn't gone home any sooner because he had wanted to be with him. He checked his phone and cursed when he saw three missed calls from his girlfriend. He listened to the voicemail. 'Hey honey. It's getting late. Are you still out with Tommy? Max and I are in bed now so we'll see you in the morning.' Alex rubbed his face in desperation. 'Damn him!' He spat through his teeth. He started the car and headed straight for the hotel car park.

'Who is it?' He heard Tom ask from within the room and Alex took a deep breath. 'No-one important.' His friend opened the door. The boys stared at each other for a moment. Tom hurried him in and locked the door behind him. 'What happened?' He asked him as he turned off the television. Alex threw himself on to one of the armchairs. 'I couldn't leave,' he looked at his friend, 'I just couldn't do it.' Tom smiled at him. He sat down on his lap and held him in his arms as he kissed him lovingly. 'Tommy.' Alex whispered and closed his eyes. 'Hey,' Tom said gently and rubbed his nose against his', 'I would have understood.' Alex gazed at him. 'Man, you're so beautiful,' he laughed quietly,'I'm crazy about you.' He whispered and kissed him again hungrily. Tom jumped up, grabbed Alex's hand and led him to the bed. All Alex's doubts were gone again, gently and passionately kissed and stroked away by his friend. When Tom held him in his arms, Alex knew he wouldn't want to be anywhere else that night.

Chapter 4

'Shit', Alex mumbled as he was woken up by his mobile ringing in his jeans somewhere across the room. He lifted his head and rubbed his eyes. Tom was resting against his chest, still fast asleep. Alex tried not to wake him as he gently moved him off him. Tom stirred in his sleep but continued to breathe gently as he turned to the other side of the bed. Alex checked again that he hadn't woken him up before he got up to collate his clothes scattered around the bed.

He found his mobile and went into the bathroom to call Emma back. 'Hey. I'm so sorry. It got a bit late last night and I fell asleep on Tommy's sofa.' 'I was worried sick about you,' Emma hissed into the phone, 'could you not at least tell me you were at the hotel?' 'I'm so sorry darling. I should have told you. I just didn't think. Look, I'm going to grab my stuff and come straight home now, okay?' Alex said gently. 'Well, you better had. Your son would like to see his dad before he is off again for three days.' She hung up.

Alex took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of the bath. He splashed his face with cold water from the basin but noticed that Tom's scent was still all over his body. He cursed as he jumped under the shower quickly and rushed around as quietly as possible, trying to get dressed without disturbing Tom. Before he left, he wrote him a note and carefully kissed his hair, inhaling his scent one last time.

It was not even seven o'clock yet as Alex was driving home through a sleepy and empty Hamburg on Sunday morning and he felt exhausted as a result. When he reached his house, he quietly opened the front door and sneaked in. He could hear Max upstairs with his girlfriend. They would have just finished breakfast. He took a deep breath preparing himself for a wave of abuse.

'Morning.' He mumbled and walked towards the breakfast table. 'Afternoon.' Emma said with a stone cold face, feeding Max the last few spoonfuls of his breakfast. 'Daddy!' Max beamed. 'Morning sunshine.' Alex cuddled him and kissed him on the cheek. He tried to kiss Emma too but she turned her head away. Alex decided to leave it at that and sat down. 'I'm sorry.' He said holding both hands apologetically in the air. There was an awkward long moment of silence. 'It's not the fact you were out all night without telling me,' Emma eventually said factually, 'it's that I don't believe you were with Tommy.' She looked him in the eye. 'What?' Alex almost laughed in surprise. She took Max out of his high chair and sat him on her lap. 'But,' Alex shook his head, 'that's ridiculous.' 'Is it?', she hissed, 'where were you last night Alex?' 'I told you. I was with Tommy. I fell asleep in his hotel room. Ask him.' She laughed. 'Oh God as if you wouldn't cover for each other at all times.' Alex decided not to push it. 'Can I play with him for a bit?' He asked quietly pointing at Max. Emma handed him his son and started tidying up the breakfast table. He hugged and kissed him again and again. 'I've upset mummy. Because of Uncle Tommy.' He explained gently.

Alex packed quietly for the trip to Berlin after having spent some time playing with Max. Emma hadn't spoken a word all morning so Alex tried to approach her one last time. 'Hey, are you still angry?', Emma didn't respond, 'I have to go now. I don't want to leave like this.' 'You had a choice.' She said quietly. 'But I haven't done anything!' Alex shouted in frustration, yet feeling guilty for lying. She turned towards him. 'You didn't come home last night. You call that nothing?' Alex shook his head as he gave up. He grabbed his son and kissed him goodbye. 'Daddy will be back before you know it,' he approached Emma, hugged and kissed her, 'I'll call you and we can talk about it again if you want.' She nodded and turned away from him.

Tom waved at Alex when he saw him pull into the parking bay outside the hotel. He jumped into the car quickly. 'Oh Jesus, let's go. I've got some girls chasing me down,' he chuckled to himself, 'not even the cap and sunglasses work anymore, so annoying. Everything alright with you?', he stroked his leg, 'I didn't hear you leave at all.' Alex sighed. 'I'm in deep trouble at home.' 'Oh dear,' Tom said and threw his bag on to the back seat trying to get more comfortable, 'because of me I imagine?' 'She doesn't believe I was with you last night.' 'What?' Tom almost laughed. 'I know.' Tom gently took his friend's hand. 'So she can feel something then,' he said quietly, 'only it's not a girl,' he smiled at Alex sadly, 'I'm sorry.' Alex shook his head and frowned at him. 'What for, I wanted to stay with you.' They silently continued their drive to Berlin until Tom took Alex's hand again. 'I know it's hard,' he said and looked at him, 'but what's the alternative?' 'We make a decision.' Alex said quietly. 'And still have to hide away anyway?,' Tom shook his head, 'your family is too important,' he paused, 'unless you decide against me, against us.' Alex gulped and squeezed his friend's hand. He didn't say anything.

They arrived in Berlin in the pouring rain. Alex was struggling to see the road it was that torrential. They parked the car in the hotel car park and Alex was about to get out when Tom grabbed his head and kissed him longingly. 'Tommy!' Alex hissed, hectically looking around. Tom smiled at him. 'I did check,' he stroked his hair and winked at him, 'show time.' He said and opened the door.

As the boys entered the reception area they were greeted with cheers by their team mates. Alex and Tom said hello, chatted and giggled. They checked into their rooms and gathered with all the others for the welcome speech of their coach Winter and their captain Markus in one of the hotel meeting rooms.
The first training session wasn't till the next morning so everyone had time to settle in. The boys had agreed to spend time with their team mates that afternoon but Alex and Tom gazed and smiled at each other every so often across the room. At some point Tom walked over and sat down next to his friend. 'Hey.’ He said. 'Hey.' Alex whispered. 'How's it going?' 'Better if we were alone.' Alex quietly giggled and Tom laughed and nodded. 'Time to get ready for dinner. Are you going up to your room?' Tom winked at him. 'Absolutely!' Alex finished his drink of water and followed him.

Alex's room was first up from the stairs and Tom pushed him in with a giggle after they had both made sure no-one was around. Alex shut and locked the door quickly behind him, just in time before Tom kissed him passionately and let his hands slip under his T-shirt. 'You're so naughty,' Alex whispered and they both laughed quietly, 'we haven't got much time,' he said kissing Tom's lips hungrily, 'we need to get ready Tommy.' But Tom pulled him towards the bed. 'Relax.' He said lustfully as he started undressing his friend. Alex gasped and then simply gave in.

There was a knock on the door. 'Alex?' The boys stared at each other in shock. Tom immediately jumped out of bed and started getting dressed. 'Yeah?' Alex was trying to put on a relaxed voice. 'Can I come in?' The door handle moved down and Alex was unsure for a split second whether he had really locked it. Tom was staring at him and then at the door in horror. Alex exhaled quietly with relief and Tom had to sit down for a moment when the door did not nudge. 'Just a sec, what's up?' Tom had started getting dressed again and was now almost ready. 'Do you know where Tommy is? He is not in his room. And dinner is in 10 minutes. I'm just doing a quick head count.' It was their captain Markus. Tom pulled Alex up by his hand and hurried him into the bathroom. 'I'm here,' Tom opened the door casually, 'I did think it was time to get ready.' He giggled and left the room pulling the door shut quickly behind him.

Alex had to sit down on the bathroom floor as he heard the boys leave. His heart was racing and he was actually sweating. He took deep breaths as he was trying to calm down. 'Jesus.' He said quietly and had to laugh, still in shock. He slowly got in the shower and relaxed under the hot water. When he was dressed for dinner, he called Emma. They talked and made up and Alex felt relieved that he had managed to sort this out finally.

As he was about to leave his room, he heard a knock on the door again. He opened and saw Tom grinning at him. 'Ready?' Alex stared in disbelief. 'Tommy.' He hissed and looked over his shoulder checking if anyone could hear them. 'What?’, Tom shrugged his shoulders, ‘are you ready or what?', he winked at him. Alex took a deep breath and pulled the door shut behind him, 'you look good.' Tom whispered in his ear before he led the way downstairs into the hotel restaurant. They were pretty much the last ones to arrive and were greeted with abuse and loud laughter. Tom waved pretending to enjoy the noisy welcoming and Alex laughed behind him.

The boys were both seated at separate tables and chatted to their team colleagues. For them this was always a great opportunity to learn from everyone else's experience in their clubs and whilst for most of the year they were playing against each other, whenever they met, it was always fun to catch up and feel as one big family and team. Alex enjoyed his dinner and his friends' company and got fully immersed in the atmosphere. He let his eyes wander over to Tom every once in a while and smiled to himself seeing him happy and giggle with his friends at his table. Whenever their eyes met Tom would beam at him lovingly and Alex smile shyly.

It was getting late and the first training session was scheduled for the morning so everyone was keen to get an early night to demonstrate their best performance in front of the national coach the next day. The team's captain Markus had spent some time at each table talking to all the players and making sure he would know of any issues ahead of training. He reached Alex's table last and again spent some time talking to all the boys. Alex was busy checking what Tom was up to across the room and when it looked like he was about to retire for the night, he wished Markus would hurry up and talk to him quickly so he could leave as well. To his frustration it seemed Markus left Alex to last, though, so Tom signalled to him to call when he was done. Alex rolled his eyes and nodded.

'So how have you been?' Markus let himself slouch on a chair next to Alex as all the other boys happily moved on after their chat with their captain. Alex smiled wryly. 'Yeah, you know what it's like. We’re not in great shape at the moment, but I guess I’ll just keep working hard. See what happens at the end of the season.' Markus nodded. 'That's the right attitude Alex,' he patted his shoulder, ‘and how are Emma and Max?' 'Yeah. Great. Thanks.' 'He must be, what two now?' Alex smiled and nodded. 'Yeah, he is growing up fast.' He looked around and only just realised he was all alone with Markus in the dining room. 'Hmm,' Markus nodded, 'you wouldn't want to risk losing such a lovely family, would you?' Alex froze and stared at him. 'No,' he said hesitantly and frowned, 'of course not.' Markus took a deep breath. 'Alex,' he leant closer to him, 'I know what you and Tommy are up to.' There was a threatening tone in Markus' voice. 'What the hell do you mean?' Alex gulped looking him straight in the eye. 'You know what I mean.' Markus leant back in his chair. 'As a matter of fact I don't. You have to make yourself a bit clearer.' Alex was surprised at his own calm voice. 'Oh God,' Markus laughed, 'I was hoping we could talk about this without becoming too explicit,' he paused, 'that you fuck him.'

Alex was shocked. He just stared at Markus and decided to keep his bluff going. He laughed. 'This is a good joke! I like it.' Markus leant closer again. 'You know I wish it was Alex,' his face had turned serious, 'I am responsible for this team so let me tell you that this isn't the time or the place to experiment with some stupid temporary gay sex desires behind your girlfriends' backs.' Alex kept staring at him. 'This is ridiculous. What makes you think we are intimate?' 'You shouldn't snog openly in changing rooms, you know.' Alex took a deep breath and laughed sadly. 'Oh, I see. Who told you?' 'Never mind that,' Markus said quietly, 'Tom sneaking out of your room before dinner this evening didn't help your case.' Alex nodded. 'Is this what our conversation was meant to be about all along? Is this why you left me to last?' 'I had to talk to you at some point.', Markus looked at him seriously.

Alex tried to swallow down tears of anger. 'And has it crossed your mind that it's perhaps not just about me fucking him, as you call it, but that we are actually in a relationship,' Alex gulped, 'that we love each other.' He added quietly. Markus' roaring laughter to his response made Alex want to disappear into a hole in the ground. He was about to get up and leave, he had had enough humiliation for that night. 'Not so fast.' Markus pulled him back onto his chair. 'Aren't we done?' Alex hissed at him. 'Alex, you want to keep Emma and Max, don't you? And continue your career, right?' Alex tried to push Markus' hand off him. 'Are you threatening me?' He was getting so stressed and angry that he could have punched him but he kept his fist firmly under the table. 'Well. I wouldn't call it a threat,' Markus looked at him, 'I'd call it a deal,' Alex wished Tom was here and they could both beat him up together, 'let's be sensible about this. You finish this sick little gay adventure with Tom now and no-one needs to know anything about it. You keep your family and you can both continue your careers. And we just forget about it, okay?' Alex was breathing hard. 'And what if I don't?' He spat through his teeth. Markus shook his head. 'Then I'm afraid I will have to use more forceful measures to stop this. I wouldn't hesitate to tell the press about what's going on. And that would be messy, wouldn't it?' 'The press?', Alex shouted in disbelief, 'have you lost your mind man?' He had jumped up and was physically shaking.

Markus slowly got up and walked towards him. 'I don't want to do this Alex but you would give me no other option. I won't tolerate this, that's for sure.' He started walking off. 'And what do you expect me to tell Tommy?' Alex asked bravely. Markus stopped short and turned towards him. 'Just finish it Alex, make something up,' he looked at him, 'but if you tell him anything about our little conversation I will also tell the press. Is that clear?' Alex just stared. 'What?', he muttered, 'but I can't. I love him,' he took a deep breath, 'Markus, please.' He begged him. 'Nonsense!', Markus shouted, 'pull yourself together Alex. It'll be easier if you finish it now, trust me.' Alex stared at him again. 'You do realise you’ll break his heart as well as mine.' He whispered in tears. 'Oh he'll get over it. And one day you'll both thank me for it.' Markus walked out of the dining hall leaving Alex shattered to pieces.

Alex sat down in shock feeling alone and desperate. His anger was rising rapidly. He grabbed a water glass from the table and nearly smashed it on the floor. As he cried and gasped for air, he clutched the glass in his hand in frustration, so hard that it broke and cut his hand open. Alex cursed at the blood running on to the white table cloth. He pressed a napkin onto it but the cut was deep. He cried and cursed, totally lost as to what he was going to do next.

'Alex?', Alex turned and saw Tom smiling at him with gentle eyes, 'Jesus, I was looking everywhere for you. Why are you still...?', Tom stopped in shock when he saw the state Alex was in, 'what the hell is going on?', he stormed towards him and grabbed his bleeding hand, looking at his face confused, 'what happened to your hand? Alex, why are you crying?', Tom was full of concern now, 'what happened?' He whispered holding his head, kissing his cheeks before he attended to his cut hand. Alex stared at his friend silently in tears. He was desperate to touch him. 'Alex,' Tom stroked his hair trying to calm him down, 'tell me what is going on!' He sounded more assertive now. Alex stood up and walked away from him. 'I feel sick.' He muttered and tried to escape to the bathroom but Tom ran after him and managed to stop him. 'Alex, what the hell happened?' Alex was still crying and trying to stop the blood streaming from his hand as well as fending off Tom, who was desperately trying to hug him. 'Hey, hey, slow down.' Tom grabbed his head and rested his forehead against his friend's. Both boys were breathing hard now. Alex had his eyes closed leaning into Tom's forehead. 'Tommy.' He shook his head and broke free. He ran outside the dining room area, through the lobby, past reception and straight outside the hotel.

'Alex!' Tom was shouting and running after him but he gave up following him when he reached reception shaking his head in disbelief and worry. He took a minute to gather his thoughts and decide what to do next. Tom knew Alex needed help and he painfully realised he couldn't support him right now. As he cursed at this mess he was trying to think it all through. Finally Tom decided to talk to someone he could trust and who would take his friend seriously. Then he thought of just that person. Someone who knew Alex well and was one of his best friends in his own club. He ran straight towards his room.

'Felix,' Tom said as he knocked on his door, 'are you still awake?' He knocked again until he could hear footsteps inside the room and the door opened. Felix looked at him in surprise. 'Tommy, isn't it a bit late? What's going on?' 'Can I come in?' 'Sure.' Tom went into his room and quickly shut the door. He decided not to lose any time. 'I'm worried about Alex. He's in a right state. I found him in the dining room crying and his hand is cut and bleeding.' 'What?', Felix frowned, 'where is he now?' 'He ran off. He actually ran out of the hotel. I have no idea where the hell he would have even gone at this time of night.' Tom was getting stressed and nervously paced up and down the room. 'Hey,' Felix grabbed him by his shoulders to stop him, 'slow down a second. He'll be fine. Let's sit down and think okay?' He smiled at Tom and they sat down next to each other.

'You said you found him. Did you talk to him then?' Tom shook his head. 'I tried to but he wouldn't tell me what the hell was going on. He just kept crying and said he felt sick. I have never seen him like this.' Felix frowned. 'Okay, this is all really rather odd. Something serious must have happened. He looked alright at dinner?', Tom nodded, 'Tommy, I don't know anyone he trusts more than you so I'm not sure who he will open up to if he's not even talking to you?' Tom started getting stressed again. 'I know but I clearly can't support him right now,' he looked at Felix with begging eyes, 'please, we have to try and find out what's going on. Can you help me talk to him? He's out there somewhere and it's freezing cold. If we don't find him, he'll get bloody fined as well.' Tom said frustratedly. 'Okay, okay,' Felix pulled a jumper over his T-shirt and put some jeans on, 'shall we tell Markus?' Tom stared at him. 'Can we not keep this between us for now? He may fine him.' Felix thought about it and nodded. He looked through his bags for a thick warm jumper, some towels and cheered when he also found some disinfectant and bandaids. 'Alright, let's go.'

Alex was shivering on the bench on the football pitch he had run to. His hands were blue from the cold and he had given up trying to stop the cut from bleeding. He still felt numb with shock. His mind was racing, he couldn't understand how his own team captain could be so cruel. And he felt utterly betrayed by whoever had seen the boys kissing in the changing rooms. In his state it took him a few moments to register that someone was calling out his name. He looked up and could see two torch lights moving quickly towards him. 'Alex!', Felix and Tom reached him out of breath. Alex stared at them both, 'bloody hell, there you are! Jesus, look at the state of you,' Felix laughed nervously, 'you are bloody frozen,' he sat down next to him, put the thick jumper around his shoulders and gently placed one arm around him. He smiled at his anxious face and could feel Alex trembling, 'can I take a look at your hand?' He asked. Alex slowly but instinctively let him take it. Tom decided to quietly watch them and he was relieved and pleased with the way Felix handled the situation. He pointed the torch at Alex's hand and Felix carefully disinfected the cut. 'That's quite a nasty one actually.' Alex didn't flinch. He watched Felix gently remove bits of glass and couldn't help but smile a bit. 'Thank you.' He whispered. 'My God,’ Tom said, 'was that a smile I saw there on your lips?' Alex turned to him and gave him a sad look. 'Alex,' Tom gulped,' would it help if I left you alone with Felix for a bit?’, Alex nodded silently as Tom looked at him confused, 'alright,' he smiled bravely, 'whatever helps you.' Then he slowly walked away, making his way back to the hotel. Alex wanted to run after him and kiss him and tell him how much he loved him. But he would never be able to do that again. It was over.

'There we are,' Felix sounded pleased having just removed the last few glass splinters from Alex's hand and was about to place a plaster on it, 'that should at least make it stop bleeding for a bit but you should go and see one of the doctors tomorrow to have it checked out Alex. We don't want that to get infected and then you can't play on Wednesday,' he smiled at him, 'hey,' Felix gently put his arm around him again, 'Alex, what on earth happened to you? It's like someone has died. Is your family alright?', Alex nodded, 'Tommy is worried sick about you,' Felix noticed that Alex was trembling again, 'hey, I really want to help you, do you think you can tell me what happened?', Alex bit his lip and cast his eyes down, 'you can trust me, you know. I'm your friend.' 'Thank you. That is so good to know.' Alex smiled at him sadly.

'Hey, it's bloody freezing, do you want to go back to the hotel? Or go for a little walk before we head back?' Alex couldn't face going back to his room and smell Tom's scent all over the bed. 'Could we walk for a bit?' He gulped. 'Yes sure.' Felix said, feeling encouraged Alex might still tell him something. 'I'm sorry. I realise I'm getting you into trouble. With the curfew and all that. You don't have to stay with me Felix.' Alex said and took a deep breath. 'Hey, don't you worry about me okay?', Felix smiled, 'at least we're getting some use out of this torch we had to negotiate for with the receptionist!', he laughed, 'come on, let's see what this pitch is like, hey?' They walked around the football ground and Felix told Alex a story of when his team recently played here and it was so wet that all players went sliding around at almost every pass. Alex laughed quietly appreciating Felix's effort and presence. They walked in silence next to each other for a few minutes. Alex was desperate to talk to someone about what had happened. He trusted Felix and so did Tom clearly. Of all people Tom was right to get him involved.

Alex took a deep breath. 'You said I could trust you.' He said quietly. 'Absolutely.' Felix nodded. 'With anything?' 'Yep.' Felix smiled and put his arm around him. Alex looked at him seriously. 'If I tell you this now, I’m trusting you with my family, my career. My whole life.' Felix stared at him. 'Jesus, Alex,' he laughed, 'sounds a bit heavy. But I'm all ears.' 'Tommy and I, we...,' Alex gulped, 'we..., we are together,' he finally said and took another deep breath. He turned to Felix, who just looked ahead as they kept walking next to each other, 'we're in a relationship Felix.' Alex re-iterated. 'Yes I understand.' Felix smiled at him. Alex stopped and stared at him. 'You know?' Felix laughed. 'No I didn't know, but if you think this shocks me then I have to disappoint you.' Alex looked him in the eye. 'Are you sure you didn't know?' 'Yes,' Felix giggled and Alex believed him, 'let's say I'm not all that surprised.' 'No?' Alex asked in disbelief. Felix shrugged his shoulders. 'You’ve always been exceptionally close as friends. I can see how this became more. Yeah.' He nodded. Alex exhaled with relief. 'Really? And you are not...shocked or... disgusted?' Felix chuckled again, 'Jesus Alex, what century do you think I live in?', Alex could have hugged him with relief and smiled at Felix properly for the first time since they were out there that night, 'the only moral worry I have is about your girlfriends and your child. But that's none of my business,' Alex turned sad again, 'but I assume all this is not what caused this grief all of a sudden?' Felix looked at him with questioning eyes. 'Ah. No.' Alex shook his head. 'So what happened then Alex?', Felix put his arm around his shoulders, 'come on, tell me,' he nudged him, 'look, the first story didn't shock me. Why would the next part?', he smiled at him encouragingly, 'what could be so bad that you can't even tell the man you love? And who I'm sure loves you too?' He asked gently.

And then Alex finally opened up and told him. About the kiss in Hamburg. About Markus, the threat of the press, the cut in his hand. Everything. Felix listened to him in empathy. 'And this is why,' Alex concluded, 'I can't tell Tommy and why I just ran away.' They had sat down on a bench again as Alex was telling his story. Felix still had one arm comfortingly placed around Alex. He didn't say anything as he was digesting it all. 'What a bastard.' He finally said and Alex laughed exhaustedly. 'The worst thing is,' he gasped for air, 'that it's my fault. If I had been more careful in Hamburg, none of this would have happened and we could be together right now.' Felix pulled him closer. 'Nonsense,' he said firmly, 'it’s not your fault that some people are trying to blackmail you with this now, is it?' Alex shook his head. 'I guess not.' 'Alex, if Tommy knew this I think he would murder him. I know I would. Who does he think he is? What an arsehole.' Alex nodded and smiled sadly. 'Yeah I know. But Tommy will never find out the truth. He'll just think I don't want him anymore. And that will be that.'

Felix was moved looking at Alex. He could only guess the suffering he was going through. 'We can't let him get away with this Alex,' he said determined, 'there is no way you can let him win this.' Alex laughed again tiredly. 'Do I have a choice?', he looked at him, 'what, so I tell Tommy and then we get outed and slated in the press? I will never see my family again and Tommy will lose Christine. Let alone that our careers will be over. I doubt our coming out will be welcomed by our clubs or the fans. No. I can't do this to him.' He shook his head. 'What, so you decide for him? Without him even knowing? And you both end up unhappy?', Felix challenged him, 'Alex, it sounds to me as if you both really want to be together.' Alex looked at him and nodded. 'I can't bear the thought of being without him.' 'But that's what I mean,' Felix stroked Alex's back, 'you can't let Markus Twat win this! We have to stop his crazy plans,' he looked at him, 'but without you breaking up with Tommy.' 'But how?' Alex asked in despair. 'I don't know yet,' Felix stroked his hair, 'but we will find a way I promise you.' He smiled at him. 'You think?' Alex asked with a hint of hope in his voice. 'We have to,' Felix nodded, 'I can't have a useless heartbroken Tommy play back home, that's just no good!' They both laughed.

Alex hugged him and took a deep breath. 'Thank you so much,' he said relieved, 'I will never be able to make this up to you. That you looked after me tonight.' Felix squeezed him. 'If it wasn't for Tommy I wouldn't have even known you were out here. You need some rest Alex. We have an early start. I promise you we will think of something. It's not all lost yet, okay?' Alex smiled and nodded and the boys started walking back to the hotel. He checked his phone and had two missed calls from Tom. 'God,' he shook his head, 'what am I going to do?' Felix looked at him. 'Play the game as you were told until we have a plan tomorrow. It'll be hard for you both but we have to follow his rules until we know what we're doing.' Alex nodded sadly. 'You won't tell him. Will you?' Felix hugged him. 'Of course not. I won't tell anyone anything,' he winked at him, 'try and get some sleep.' Felix waited until Alex had closed the door behind him and then tiptoed towards his own room hoping no-one had heard or seen them.

Alex collapsed onto the floor in his room feeling drained and exhausted. He couldn't face going to bed. It was still unmade from earlier, when the boys’ world was still a happy place. In the end he just curled up on the sofa and eventually fell asleep.

It was a gentle knock on the door that woke Alex up. He had lost any feeling of time and had no idea whether it was morning or still the middle of the night. He jumped when he heard a second knock. He got up and opened the door. 'Tommy,' Alex whispered staring at his friend. His friend's eyes were red from crying or lack of sleep. Or both, 'come in.' He quietly said and let him into his room. Tom closed the door behind him. For a moment none of the boys spoke. They just looked at each other. 'I was worried about you,' Tom said quietly, 'I didn't know if you and Felix made it back to the hotel or what was going on,' he paused, 'I didn't sleep all night. Why didn't you come and see me?' Tom gulped and Alex just stared. 'Alex,' Tom moved towards him and tried to kiss him but Alex turned away, 'why are you torturing me like this?', Tom shouted in despair, 'God, what happened? What have I done?' He cried. 'Nothing,' Alex looked at him and took his hands, 'you have done nothing wrong. Okay? You have to believe me. None of this is your fault.' Alex gasped for air as he touched him. Tom tried to kiss him again but Alex walked away. 'It's like I've lost you', Tom shouted, 'I have a right to know what's going on!' He sat down on the bed as he started crying in frustration and Alex was standing by the window silently staring outside.

Tom took a deep breath. 'Or was this all just a game for you, a bit of fun? And now you're bored of your new toy?' He laughed bitterly. Alex shook his head. 'Tommy. Please don't.' 'I thought you love me,' Tom pushed him, 'at least that's what you said.' He sounded exhausted. 'Tommy. Please.' Alex closed his eyes and felt tears streaming down his face. 'If you at least had the guts to be honest with me and just tell me you never meant a word you said!' Tom shouted at him. 'Christ Tommy, you should know me better than that!' Alex cried angrily and Tom stared at him. He stood up and slowly walked towards him. 'I just don't understand. Help me understand Alex. Please.' Tom whispered and Alex had to turn away from him again. 'I can't!' He shouted in frustration and tears.

Then there was a knock on the door. 'Alex, let me in quickly,' it was Felix's voice. Alex wiped the tears off his face and went to open the door, 'hey,' Felix pushed his way in quickly and shut the door, 'how are you feeling? How is the hand?' He hugged him and only noticed Tom then. Felix walked straight towards him and hugged him as well. 'Tommy, you look bright and raring to go.' He joked. Tom shook his head and forced a laugh. He looked at Alex frustratedly. 'I seem to just be wasting my time here.' He stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

Alex sat down on the bed and started breathing hard. 'Hey, hey, Alex.' Felix sat down next to him. He stroked his back gently and tried to calm him down. 'He's starting to resent me. Markus will get his way after all.' 'Nonsense, he loves you. It'll take more than this for him to resent you,' Felix checked his watch worriedly, 'Alex, you need to get changed. Training starts in 10 minutes and you are still in your clothes from last night.' 'I feel sick.' Alex mumbled. 'Yes I know but you are going to have to pull yourself together,' he smiled confidently, 'I think I have a plan.'

Alex tried not to look at Markus or Tom throughout the morning session. He found it hard to focus to start with but actually the training helped clear his head and get rid of some of his anger and frustration. He scored some impressive goals during the session and was applauded by his coach. Whenever Alex did watch Tom, he could tell he was doing the same. He played quickly and sharply, using the exercise to let off steam.

'You were good this morning. Considering!' Felix patted Alex's back as he sat down next to him at lunch. 'Thank you. I feel utterly shattered,' Alex looked at him, 'Felix, I have to thank you again for all your help. I honestly don't know what I’d do without you.' 'You should thank Tommy.' Alex gazed at Tom, who was sat on the other side of the room. To Alex's agony, he was joking and laughing with his friends and one person in particular was too close to him for his liking. Kai constantly had his arm around Tom's shoulders and made him laugh. Felix nudged Alex gently. 'Hey, you need to eat some food,' he leant closer to him, 'don't worry about Kai,' he winked at him, 'he is definitely not gay,' Alex blushed and tried to force some of his food down, 'for the moment I'd rather Tommy is a little bit distracted until we have sorted Markus Twat out, hey?', Alex nodded, he was still struggling to eat anything, 'I spoke to Tommy briefly earlier.' Alex looked at him expectantly. 'And?' 'Well, all I said was that I managed to calm you down a bit yesterday but I'm not clear yet as to what happened either.' 'Thank you.' Alex whispered. 'We need to get this sorted though Alex. Tommy is sick with worry and heartache,' he looked at him, 'just like you.' He gently patted the back of his head. Alex had given up on his lunch and pushed it away from him.

'Okay, so here is what I think. You are welcome to disagree of course but to be honest I don't think we have many options,' Alex looked at Felix intently waiting for him to lay down the game plan, 'the only way we can beat Markus with his own weapons and deter him from running off to his mates from the press is to first of all have proof of him threatening you,' Alex frowned, 'I know what you are going to say but I have a plan for getting that proof,’ he winked at him, 'secondly I'm afraid I think we have to get Winter involved and make him aware that this kind of blackmail is going on. But only once we managed to get the evidence,' Alex looked terrified, 'he thinks very highly of you and Tommy, Alex. He would hate it if he knew you are suffering like this. And he is a very decent man. He would throw Markus out of the team without batting an eyelid if he knew the extent of this.' Alex didn't feel comfortable but took a minute to think about it. 'But how do I prove it?' Felix took a deep breath.

'I'm afraid you will have to go back into the dragon's den,' Alex frowned confused, 'you need to confront him again. Alone. But this time you will record the whole conversation on your phone,' Alex stared at him, 'we'll take it straight to Winter and tell him everything. He will confront Markus, who of course will see it as the breaking of his rules laid out to you. But the leverage is that with the proof, Winter will threaten to kick him out and tell his friends from the press what a nasty piece of work he really is,' Felix smiled, 'he won't dare destroy his own reputation. Will he?' He finished his water and looked pleased.

Alex was unsure but the more he thought about it the more he felt that this could work. Then he shook his head again. 'What if he tells the press anyway? What if Winter is not on our side?' 'I can't imagine our manager supporting this kind of behaviour in this team. In fact I am convinced he wouldn't,' he sighed, 'I don't know if Markus would tell the press regardless. He might,' Felix put his arm around Alex, 'but then at least we tried. Right?', he smiled at him encouragingly, 'you owe Tommy that Alex. He doesn't deserve this.' Alex nodded but the tears came back. 'Oh God,' he rubbed his eyes, 'I'm so tired.' He laughed sadly. 'So, after training this afternoon, you go and look for Markus in his room. Before dinner.' Alex gulped. 'What am I going to say?' 'Tell him you want to talk about it again. It needs to look like you are trying to convince him to take back his threat,' Alex nodded, 'make sure you make him repeat his game plan,' Felix gave him a disapproving look, 'you hardly touched your lunch.' 'I can't eat.' 'How is the hand?' 'Oh, I had forgotten about that.' Alex laughed but sounded really tired again. 'Have it checked out after training. We need to go back now. Come on.'

Alex suffered physically in the afternoon. Felix kept an eye on him and watched with concern whenever Markus came near him to shout at him. He'd manage to either distract Markus or he'd pass the ball to Alex so he couldn't stop and had to focus on the game again. Tom also became increasingly worried as he observed his friend battling through the afternoon, clearly suffering. At one point he was running straight towards him to check he was okay. 'Leave him, I'll check on him.' Felix said as he ran past Tom, who stopped and cursed but trusted Felix's judgment. And ran the other way.

Alex was relieved when the afternoon session was over. He was about to head off to the showers when his coach stopped him. 'Alex. Do you have a minute?' Winter asked. Alex hesitated. 'Yeah. Sure.' His manager put his arm around his shoulders and gently led him away from the other boys. He smiled at him. 'I just wanted to make sure you are alright. You looked exhausted at training this afternoon. And what happened to your hand?' 'Oh,' Alex hid his bandaged hand behind his back, 'it's nothing really, just a little cut. I'll get it checked out by the doctors now,’ he paused and scratched his head, 'it happened quite late last night.' Winter nodded. 'Well, I hope you know that my door is always open so if there is anything you want to talk to me about, then you know where to find me, yeah?' He looked at him intently. 'Sure, sure. Yes I know. Thank you though.' Alex headed back towards the showers and took a deep breath.

Just before he reached the changing rooms, he saw Tom in the corridor leaning against the wall. He was obviously waiting for him. Alex's heart started racing. 'Hey,' Tom said quietly and smiled nervously, 'how's your hand?' Alex gazed at him. 'It's alright thanks.' He gulped. 'Alex,' Tom whispered and shook his head, 'I'm sorry about this morning,' he paused, 'I didn't mean what I said. I'm sorry.' Alex wanted to hug and kiss him. 'You have every right to be angry with me.' He said quietly and Tom could see tears welling up in his eyes. 'I don't know why you can't tell me anything but I just hope whatever it is, it will go away?', he looked at him. Alex nodded and cast his eyes down, 'because it's killing you, everyone can see it.' Tom very carefully approached him slowly and gently stroked his hair. His friend's presence felt so good that when he tried to hug him, Alex threw himself into his arms. 'Alex,' Tom held him closely, 'I so wish I could help you,' he kissed his cheek. When they heard a door slam somewhere in the corridor, Alex jumped and stepped away from his friend. They both took deep breaths, 'do you think Felix can help you at least?' Tom asked worried. 'Oh he's been great actually,' Alex nodded, 'thank you for getting him involved. You did the right thing.' Tom smiled. 'At least one thing I could do then.' 'You have done a lot more than that. You're still not giving up on me.' Alex briefly kissed his cheek. Then he walked away quickly.

The team doctors examined Alex's cut hand but were pleased with the way it had been treated in the first place. They were more worried about Alex's general state, his tiredness and the fact he clearly hadn't eaten properly all day. To Alex's frustration they did some additional tests on him, which took longer than he had planned for in this visit. In the end the doctors let him go, warning him to catch up on sleep and eat properly that evening. 'No chance.' Alex thought to himself and headed towards Markus' room.

Before he knocked on the door he made sure his phone was set to record and decided to just keep holding it in his hand to ensure the conversation was going to be recorded as clearly as possible. Alex felt nervous again and was sweating with stress. He took a deep breath and encouraged himself to get on with it. 'Just don't punch him.' He kept telling himself as he knocked.

It took a moment before Markus opened the door and stared at him. 'Alex? That's a surprise.' 'Can I come in?' Alex asked coldly. Markus hesitated, unsure how to best react. Alex kept staring at him. Markus walked away and left the door open so Alex could follow him into the room. 'So what can I do for you?' Markus asked as he switched off the television. 'I want you to end this nightmare you put me into last night.' Markus turned to him. 'Calling someone?' He asked nodding at Alex's mobile in his hand. Alex got nervous but played cool and threw it onto the bed. 'What happened to your hand?' Markus asked. Alex laughed. 'As if you give a shit about that.' 'Just making conversation.'

Alex took a deep breath. 'Why are you doing this to us?' 'Us?' Markus walked towards him. 'Yes, Tommy and me.' 'Did you not finish it then?' Alex gulped. 'Don't worry,' he laughed exhaustedly, 'Tommy will do that for me if this continues.' 'So did you tell him?' Markus asked and there was something threatening about him again. Alex was being brave. 'That you are blackmailing me?' He hissed at him. 'Oh, I don't like that word'. 'You might not like the word but that's exactly what you are doing,' he paused, 'I thought you told me I couldn't. 'Well. You could of course,' Markus said and started playing with the television control in his hand, 'only then the whole world will know too.' Alex could feel tears of anger in his eyes again. He tried to concentrate on his satisfaction that he had the proof he needed already.

He decided to push him further. 'Markus, why are you doing this?', Alex shook his head in disbelief, 'what do you get out of it? Other than watch other people suffer. Is it a power thing? Is that what it is?', he took a deep breath, 'look, if you wanted to teach us a lesson and somehow penalise me or make me feel like shit then let me tell you that you have succeeded. Now can we please put this behind us. I can't...,' he had to gasp for air, 'I can't bear this any longer.' Markus frowned. 'Can't bear what? Not cuddling up to Tommy? Like a girl? You're pathetic Alex,' Markus crossed his arms in front of his chest, 'how does he like it best, hey?', he whispered, 'do you go down on him? Does he like fucking you or is it the other way round?'

Alex started breathing harder and his hand turned into a fist. He desperately tried to control himself. 'How dare you talk about him like that!' He spat through his teeth. Markus didn't react. 'You should both be ashamed of yourselves. Cheating on your girlfriends with each other.' Alex laughed. 'Oh and you are a saint are you? All this is none of your fucking business,’ he shouted angrily, 'you simply can't stand the thought of two men together, can you? If we both went off having sex with different girls every night you wouldn't give a shit because that would just be 'normal', wouldn't it?', he shook his head, 'you have no idea.' Alex said exhaustedly.

Markus walked to the window and looked outside. He took a deep breath. 'What you and Tommy are doing, Alex, is sick. And as I said to you yesterday, I won't allow it to happen in this team. I'm only trying to protect you both from making a terrible mistake, trying to get you to see how wrong this is,' he turned and looked at him expectantly, 'but if you love each other so much surely you can tell the world anyway.' Alex sat down on the bed. 'Unfortunately too many people in this world still think like you. If we had the slightest chance,' he shook his head sadly, 'we would be together. Openly.' Markus sat down next to him and looked at him intently. 'Then make the right decision if you have no chance anyway. Finish it.' He said almost gently. Alex stared at him in disbelief. 'But I love him,' he whispered, 'can you not see what you are doing to us?' He cried. 'I'm doing the right thing by getting you to decide,' Markus said factually, 'I'd take the opportunity if I were you.' Alex gave him a look. He stood up to take his phone off the bed and walked to the door. He turned to Markus one last time. 'So you are not going to take back your threat? You will still tell the press if Tommy and I stay together or if I tell him what a homophobic piece of shit you are?' He pointed his phone towards Markus, whose face had turned red with anger. 'You'd give me no other option.' He said as calmly as possible. Alex smiled inwardly, opened the door and left the room.

He had to stop in the corridor for a moment to get his breath back after he had slammed Markus' door shut behind him. He gasped for air and clutched his phone in his hand as he rested his head against the wall.
He quickly checked the recording worked and punched his fist in the air when he could hear their conversation re-playing. He ran straight to Felix's room and knocked on the door.

Felix opened quickly. He hurried him in and shut the door. 'God Alex, it's nearly dinner time why did this take so long?', he held his head, 'did you get it?', Alex nodded and smiled. Felix could tell he was disturbed and hugged him, 'well done. That's brilliant, let's have a listen.' They played the recording. Alex sat on the bed staring ahead vacantly and Felix looked at him whenever Markus sounded particularly offensive.

'You did it,' Felix cheered and hugged him again, 'good work. Winter will sack him on the spot. What a bastard,' he nodded at him encouragingly. Alex tried to smile, 'are you okay?' Felix said placing his arm around him. 'I feel exhausted.' He held his head and rubbed his forehead in despair. 'Hey,' Felix patted his back, 'you're nearly there. We have such good leverage now, Winter will help us,' he smiled at him, 'and who knows, Tommy could be back with you before you know it.' He winked at him and Alex laughed tiredly.

The boys had run out of time to see Winter before dinner but agreed to approach him straight afterwards. Felix said he'd give him a heads up that they urgently needed to talk to him. He offered to go with Alex into Winter's office, which Alex gratefully accepted. He was dreading it all but knew it was his only hope of stopping Markus if he didn't want to lose Tom.

The boys just about made it to dinner on time. Alex's eyes were looking for Tom in the dining room. He could see him chatting with Kai again and he felt like his stomach was going to turn. Tom stared at his friend as he sat down at his table. He smiled shyly and Alex smiled back at him, wishing he had already spoken to Winter and that their relationship was back to how it was only 24 hours ago.

He chatted to his team mates during dinner. They could tell he hadn't been his usual confident self all day. Alex tried to joke and shrug it off. The boys were pleased to see that at least he had some appetite again that night and finished his food. Felix was sitting at another table across from him. Once they had dessert, he walked over to Alex's table. 'Alright?', he greeted the boys and bent down to Alex, 'Winter said it's absolutely fine to see him after dinner so I would say we'll go in about 10 minutes,' he whispered in his ear. Alex felt nervous again and looked at him. Felix put one hand firmly on his shoulder, ‘it'll be okay.' He nodded and walked back to his table. Alex tried to distract himself by listening back into his team mates' conversation.

All of a sudden he could feel a hand on his shoulder again and then hear a nasty voice whispering into his ear before he could even turn to see who it was. 'Are you fucking Felix as well now?', Alex took deep breaths but he could feel the anger rise in him again. He stared ahead breathing hard, 'looks like Tommy found himself a new friend already. Soon he won't need you at all anymore.' It was too much. Alex couldn't keep his anger under control anymore and finally snapped.

'Leave me alone!' He jumped up and punched Markus' face. He could hear his team mates shout out in shock and even single out Tom's voice from across the room. Markus stumbled backwards against another table. His lip was bleeding but he had a satisfied grin on his face. Alex stared at him confused and was breathing hard. Then Tom was by his side. He grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back. 'Alex, what the hell are you doing? Are you crazy?' He shouted in anger and worry. Alex somehow felt relieved after that punch. His hand throbbed in pain and he was worried for a moment that he had now fully broken it. Markus got up and walked away triumphantly. Alex could hear everyone mumble in shock. Felix came over and stroked his back. 'Oh Alex,' he said, 'I wish you hadn't done that.'

'Alexander Hanisch!', Winter's voice was sharp and loud, 'into my office. Immediately!' Alex looked at Tom whose face was full of concern. 'I'm sorry.' Alex whispered. He got up slowly and followed Winter, hanging his head with everyone staring at him in silence. But Felix walked by his side and had one arm around his shoulders. 'Okay, well, we were going to talk to him anyway, hey?' Felix patted his back. 'I'm coming with you!', Tom shouted and Alex and Felix both turned and saw Tom run towards them. Alex smiled sadly. Tom also put his arm around him. Alex looked at him unsure, 'I'm coming with you.' Tom insisted and the three boys headed towards Winter's office.

Their manager had gone ahead and sat in his chair facing the door. He looked surprised at the three boys walking in together. 'I need to speak to Alex and I understand, Felix, you and him wanted to talk to me anyway. Tom, I'm not sure you are adding any value here.' He said factually. 'Please, can I stay? I think I need to hear this.' Tom said quietly. Felix looked at Winter. 'I have no problem with Tom being here. In fact I think it would be helpful.' Winter hesitated a moment and then nodded briefly.

Alex felt sick again. He took a chair and sat down in front of his coach. Felix and Tom stood either side behind him. Alex took a deep breath and looked at Winter. His manager's face was serious and Alex just wanted to disappear into thin air. There was a moment of silence, then Winter addressed him.

'Alex, I have watched you with great concern over the last day. This is why I approached you this afternoon. Now you have just punched your team captain straight in the face! I will make sure you will be punished for this sort of behaviour, trust me,' Alex cast his eyes down. He was kicking himself for having angered Winter when he so desperately needed his support at this very moment. Then Winter's voice turned a little gentler, 'Alex, look at me,' Alex looked up at his manager and Winter could see tears in his eyes, 'what is going on? You are not your normal self,’ he paused, 'you have a choice here. You either tell me now and I will try and help you or you don't, in which case I will simply consider the level of punishment you will receive for the assault on Markus. It's your choice.' Winter looked him straight in the eye. 'Tell him Alex,' Felix said, 'you have to tell him.' He put his hand on Alex's shoulder encouraging him.

Alex took a deep breath. 'Markus has threatened me,' he was trying to get his words out but found it hard to express himself. He tried again looking down at his hands, 'he threatened to leak some intimate, private information to the press if I don't play by his rules.' Winter frowned at him and looked concerned. 'What sort of information? About you?' Alex nodded. He took another deep breath. 'And Tom.' He added quietly. He could feel Tom's eyes staring at his back and prayed he would forgive him for what he was about to tell Winter about their relationship.

Tom took another chair and sat down next to Alex. He stared at him in shock. 'Alex, what sort of information?' Winter asked again. The two boys looked at each other for a long moment. Then Tom nodded at Alex. It was hardly noticeable but Alex understood. He turned back to Winter. 'Tom and I are in a relationship,' he paused, 'Markus found out about us and threatened me to tell the press if I don't end it or if I tell Tom anything about his threat,' he looked back at his friend, 'I'm sorry Tommy.' He whispered. 'My God,' Tom was still staring at him but took his injured hand and gently stroked it, 'now it all makes sense.' He said quietly.

Winter coughed for attention. The boys looked at him. 'Alex, when was this? When did he threaten you?' 'After dinner last night. He talked to everyone but left me to last so by the time he could have his little chat everyone had already left.' 'Is this why you punched him?' Winter asked him. Alex hesitated. 'He just wouldn't leave me alone. He kept saying things to provoke me. About Tom. About Felix even,' he shook his head, 'I just snapped. And that's exactly what he was waiting for as well.' Tom was still stroking his hand. 'And what happened to your hand? Did he do this to you?' Winter asked with concern. 'Oh,' Alex shook his head, 'no, that was me. It was anger management I guess.' He smiled embarrassed.

'How did he know?' This time it was Tom who posed the question. Alex's face turned sad. He held Tom's hand. 'That's the worst thing,' he gulped, 'it's all my fault. Someone saw us in the changing rooms after the match,' Alex rubbed his forehead in frustration, 'when I kissed you,' he whispered quietly, conscious of Winter staring at them, 'if I had been more careful, none of this would have happened.' 'Who saw you?' Winter asked. Alex shook his head. 'That I don't know. He never told me.' Tom smiled at him gently. Winter cleared his voice. 'Alex, you do realise that even if I confronted him it would be your word against his'. He would never admit any wrongdoing and, unfortunately, according to what you have just told me, this would mean that he would tell the press about your relationship because you have just broken his rules.' Winter sounded stressed.

Felix smiled. 'Yeah. We thought about that one.' Tom frowned at him. 'You knew about this?' Felix nodded. 'Alex told me last night. We couldn't fill you in and take the risk Markus runs off to his mates from the press Tommy. Everything had to look like Alex was doing as he was told until we had a plan.' 'And what was that plan?' Winter and Tom said in one voice. Alex took his phone out of his pocket and placed it on Winter's desk. 'I confronted him again this afternoon. And recorded our conversation,' he paused, 'your proof is right here.' Winter stared at him. 'Clever.' He said. Alex smiled. 'It was Felix's idea,' he turned to Tom, 'you might not want to listen to this,' he stroked his hand, 'it's pretty hurtful.' Tom shook his head. 'I don't care. You had to listen to it, didn't you?' 'Tommy.' Alex gave him a look. 'I'm not leaving.' Tom said assertively. Alex sighed and started playing the recording.

For a moment no-one spoke a word. Then Winter turned to the boys and his face was serious. 'Felix, please will you find Markus and tell him to come to my office immediately.' 'Yes, sure.' Felix jumped up and left the room. 'Alex, Tom,' Winter looked at the two of them, 'first of all I would like to thank you for your trust. I'm sure this has not been easy for you. Let me reassure you that you do not have to worry about your relationship as far as this team is concerned. I reject any homophobic feelings as part of this team that I head up. Markus will be penalised for his behaviour and for verbally threatening you like he did,' he paused, 'I do feel that you are not being honest with your partners and I have my concerns about that, but I also believe this is something you both need to discuss and decide for yourselves,' he smiled at them gently, 'you have both clearly suffered emotionally in the last day. And I'm sorry you had to go through this.' Alex felt relieved. 'Thank you sir.' He had to gasp for air again. Tom nodded. 'Yes, thank you for your support. This means a lot to us.' Alex's heart jumped at Tom's words.

'Boys, I will of course confront Markus and try and convince him to not go to the press. But ultimately I'm afraid I cannot stop him either if he has made up his mind.' Winter said and looked concerned again.
Alex nodded. 'I know,' he whispered and looked at Tom, 'that was the risk I had to take,' he explained, 'the only other option I had was to end our relationship. And you would have never known why,' Tom squeezed his hand again, 'I just couldn't do that Tommy.' 'I wouldn't have let you anyway, you idiot,' Tom said and smiled despite the fear in his eyes, 'you did the right thing.' He stroked his friend's cheek. Alex gazed at him and enjoyed his touch. He couldn't wait to kiss him again. Whatever was going to happen now, he swore to himself not to miss another second with Tom that evening.

There was a knock and the door opened. Felix and Markus walked into Winter's office and Markus stared at Alex and Tom holding hands. 'Evening sir,' he nodded at Winter, 'well, well who have we got here? Looks like Alex has a softer side too if he doesn't go round punching other people,' he laughed, 'how can I help you sir?' Winter looked at him seriously. 'How is your injury?' He asked him. 'It's a cut lip but the doctors said it could have been worse.' 'I'm glad to hear that. Take a seat.' Winter said and Markus reluctantly sat down next to the boys. Alex could hardly breathe with Markus next to him. Tom could feel him tensing up and looked at Felix for help. 'Why don't we swap for a moment Alex?' Felix patted the back of his head and Alex jumped up with relief. He leant against the wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest taking deep breaths. Felix sat down between Markus and Tom.

'Markus, I have just learnt from these boys that you have aggressively threatened Alex to leak some intimate information about his private life to the press. Blackmail is a very serious offence and I'm finding this rather unnerving to learn that the captain of my team has done such a thing.' Markus was taken aback by the directness of Winter's words. Then he started laughing out loud. 'Oh this is brilliant,' he said chuckling, trying to get his breath back, 'so first Alex punches me in the face and basically attacks me in front of the whole team and then he accuses me of blackmail! This is getting better and better. What's next?', Winter's face was expressionless. Markus looked at him, 'you don't believe this nonsense do you sir? I mean the poor guy clearly lost his mind.'

Tom jumped up, his face was full of anger. Felix took his hand. 'Tommy, sit down,' he pulled him back down next to him and put one arm around his shoulders, 'easy.' He whispered into his ear. Winter gave the boys a look before he turned back to Markus. 'Alex will get punished for attacking you, there is absolutely no doubt about that,' he paused, 'but I'm afraid you threatening one of my players with the press due to his homosexual relationship is absolutely unacceptable.' Markus started to look nervous. 'Homosexual relationship? But this is ridiculous. I have never threatened him with anything. He is the one who attacked me!'

Winter started playing the recording again. Markus stared at his manager in disbelief before he turned to Alex. 'You little piece of shit.' He sounded surprised. And almost impressed. 'Enough!', Winter shouted and stood up, banging his fist on the desk, 'Markus, you have put some of my players through emotional stress. I have trusted you with their wellbeing as their captain and you have abused this position of power beyond belief. I can therefore no longer keep you in the position of captain of this team. I will also consult with the other managers whether we will still invite you as a player to future matches of this team,' he took a deep breath, 'I would also urge you not to leak any information to the press about Tom and Alex's relationship. If you still decide to proceed with this I myself will tell the press about your unbelievable practices. Now have I made myself clear?' There was a moment of silence. Alex could only hear his own heart race as he stared at Winter and then back at Markus.

'But sir, they shag each other behind their girlfriends' backs! I don't understand. Are you saying you are supporting this kind of behaviour?' Markus had stood up and looked at his manager in disbelief. 'I don't have to justify myself in front of you Markus, but no, I do not support this behaviour but as a matter of fact it is private and you should respect that.' 'You rather fire me than tell them that what they're doing is sick and perverted?' Markus was breathing hard with stress.

Tom stared at him with angry tears in his eyes. He got up and faced him. 'What you are doing is sick. How dare you get involved in our lives, in threatening Alex like this,' Alex gently touched his shoulder, 'I used to have so much respect for you.' 'Tommy,' Markus looked him in the eye, 'I only wanted to protect you both.' Tom laughed out loud. 'Protect us? From what?' 'Oh come on,' Markus said frustratedly, 'you are not really telling me you love each other. Do you really want to throw away everything you have worked for? You could be international stars. But not as gay footballers you won't be. Forget it.' Tom stared at him. 'We don't want your protection. You don't know anything about us! Just leave us alone.' He gave him an angry look. Alex held his hand as Tom voiced his anger.

Winter tried to regain control. 'Tom, please sit down,' Tom obeyed and cast his eyes down, 'Markus, I urge you again not to approach the press and potentially damage both of their careers,' he looked at him, 'I can assure you that you would be destroying your own reputation if you did. I'll make sure of that.' Winter sat down. 'Please sir,' Markus gulped, 'you got it all wrong. I was only trying to look out for them.' 'Are you sorry about how you treated Alex?' Winter looked him straight in the eye. 'How can I? I did the right thing.' Winter shook his head. 'Then my decision still stands.' Markus was shocked. 'You have no guts, that's your problem!' He shouted angrily. 'Markus,' Felix hissed at him, 'I would stop right now if I were you.' 'How could I have been so wrong about you?' Winter said calmly. Markus took a deep breath as he stood up. 'You will regret this decision,' he said finally, 'all of you.'

He didn't look at the boys as he was about to leave when Tom jumped up and stood in his way. 'Who told you?', he asked him, 'I've got to know. Who told you about Alex and me?' Markus grinned. 'Ask your good friend Kai why he came running to me.' He opened the door and stormed out of the room. Tom stared in shock. 'I don't believe you!' He shouted after him and was about to sprint off to chase him down but Alex and Felix managed to hold him back and sat him down on a chair. Tom was visibly shocked and clung onto Alex. Felix brushed over his hair. 'It's all getting a bit much for him sir. We can perhaps talk to Kai tomorrow. I'm sure he wouldn't have wanted to harm the boys if it was even him.' Winter nodded. 'Yes I agree,' he sighed with relief, 'at least we seem to have managed to stop him from running off to the press.' Alex smiled. 'Thank you sir, you have done so much for us tonight.' Winter smiled but looked at Tom with concern. 'Look after him Alex. Well done Felix. Excellent work,' Winter nodded at him. Felix smiled embarrassed and Alex winked at him, 'I will see you all at training first thing and I expect you to be rested and on time.' 'Of course sir.' The boys said. Alex and Felix helped Tom get up and the three of them left Winter's office, slowly walking towards their hotel rooms.

Tom was still leaning onto Alex as they reached his room, looking pale and exhausted. Alex sat down next to him on the bed and looked at him with concern. 'Tommy, are you okay?' He asked stroking his hair. 'I feel sick.' Alex nodded. 'Yes I know what you mean.' Felix grabbed an ice bucket from the mini bar and filled it with cold water. 'Come on, give me your paw tiger,' the boys laughed. He gently put Alex's hand into the bucket and he winced at the cold water, 'nice punch by the way.' Felix winked at him. Alex started giggling quietly. Tom and Felix smiled at him. They hadn't seen him laugh once in the last day. 'I think by the end of it, Winter would have quite liked to have a go himself.' 'That would have made a much better story for the press!, Felix said and they all chuckled together, 'and the other love bird, how are you?' Felix asked checking on Tom. 'Oh, I'm alright,' Tom looked at Alex with gentle eyes, 'everything will be alright now.' He whispered. Alex smiled at Tom shyly. 'I think I'll leave you two to it, it's getting late and what an eventful day it's been!' Felix yawned. Alex stretched his arm out whilst he kept his other hand in the bucket. Felix laughed and gave him a hug. 'Thank you for everything.' Felix smiled at him. 'I'm glad I could help,' he turned to Tom, 'get some rest Tommy,' he stroked his hair, 'we'll kick ass against Brazil tomorrow!' He grinned and waved them goodnight as he left the room.

Alex and Tom looked at each other silently for a long moment. Both felt drained and exhausted. Alex didn't know what to say or where to even start. Tom smiled at his friend. 'Do you think he will leave us alone now?' 'I don't know Tommy. But with Winter against him I don't think he would dare push it.' Tom nodded. 'Do you think it was Kai who told him?' Tom's face was full of disappointment. Alex gently put his arm around his shoulders and stroked his neck. 'I don't know. Even if it was I'm sure he had no idea of what this was going to turn into. Perhaps test the water with him tomorrow. He is your friend Tommy, he wouldn't have wanted to hurt you I'm sure.' 'Felix saved us then.' Tom said and smiled. 'Pretty much.' Alex nodded and shivered at the thought of sitting by the pitch in the cold the night before.

Tom slowly took his hand. 'Will you stay with me tonight?' He asked quietly. Alex gulped. 'If you still want me?' They looked into each other's eyes. 'Will you please just bloody kiss me, you idiot.' Tom whispered and smiled. Alex laughed nervously with relief. He slowly kissed his friend's lips and they shared a kiss that was as gentle and as tender as their first ever. And it felt just as special to Alex. 'I thought I would never be able to kiss you again,' he said and Tom stroked his cheeks, 'but I've got you back now,' Alex kissed him again, 'this feels so good.' He whispered and gently rubbed his nose against Tom's.

'So you don't fancy running off again tonight then?', Tom teased him and smiled, 'I hear football pitches at night are a very exciting place to hang out these days.' 'Well, I would but Winter told me to look after you, so I can't really.' Alex winked at him. Tom laughed and hugged his friend tightly. He kissed his cheek and held him. 'I really thought I had lost you Alex.' Tom gulped. Alex looked at him. 'I'm so sorry I had to do this to you,' he stroked his cheek whilst Tom closed his eyes at his touch, 'you're exhausted Tommy. Let's put you to bed.' He took his hand out of the ice bucket and tidied it away.

Tom had curled up on his bed already half asleep and Alex carefully undressed him. It took him a while with one hand injured and he quietly giggled for being so slow. He smiled as he finally tucked his friend in under the duvet. He buried his nose in his hair inhaling his scent and gazed at him, feeling lucky and happy to be able to be by his side again. Once he had slipped into bed with him, his friend curled up against his chest in his sleep and Alex stroked him gently. At last he was holding Tom in his arms again.

It was early morning when Alex could feel Tom tenderly kissing his back as he slowly woke up and turned towards him. 'Good morning.' Tom whispered smiling at him. 'What time is it?' Alex asked sleepily. 'Early. We're in no rush.' Alex laughed quietly. 'How come you are awake then?' 'I have already missed too much time with you.' Tom started kissing Alex's chest and within seconds Alex was fully awake. He sat up and hugged his friend. 'Tommy.' He gazed at him. 'How is your hand?' Tom asked him gently and checked it carefully. 'Sore actually.' Alex frowned looking at it. 'Good,' Tom sounded pleased, 'that means his face hurts even more.' They both laughed and rested their foreheads against each other taking deep breaths.

Tom let his fingers run over his friend's lips and Alex kissed them tenderly. Then Tom gently pushed his thumb into his friend's mouth. Alex closed his eyes and moaned quietly, sucking it carefully. Tom smiled as he was watching him with lustful eyes. He kissed him hungrily and Alex could feel his friend's excitement. He sat up and pushed him over, kissing his stomach and thighs with Tom breathing hard. Alex relished finally tasting every inch of Tom's skin and body again and couldn't get enough of listening to him moaning at his every touch and kiss. Tom's eyes were full of desire when he pulled Alex back up towards him and held him. 'I have missed you so much.' Alex whispered in his ear and kissed him again lovingly.

Tom gently stroked Alex’s hot cheeks whilst both were slowly catching their breath. Alex felt so relaxed with his friend stroking him, he nearly fell asleep again. 'Alex?' Tom asked quietly. 'Hmm?' Alex took his hand and kissed it. He had closed his eyes again still feeling exhausted. 'This is all pretty crazy, isn't it? I mean the whole Markus thing.' Alex laughed in agreement. 'Hmm.' 'I wonder what Winter is going to tell the team why he was sacked. And what fine you'll get for punching him.' 'Bastard.' Alex mumbled thinking of the fine as he was kissing his hand again. 'If he could see us right now his face would turn red with anger,' Tom giggled, 'I only wanted to protect you.' He imitated Markus' voice and both boys started laughing.

Alex gazed at Tom and smiled. He stroked his cheeks and lips. 'I wish we could spend the day alone together now and make up for the time we missed out.' 'But instead we have to beat Brazil.' Tom added and grinned cheekily. Alex paused. 'What are you going to say to Kai?' Tom's face turned sad. 'I don't know. What do you think I should do?' 'Beat him up?' Alex grinned and Tom chuckled. 'That's more your style. Perhaps I'll send you instead.' Alex turned serious. 'I don't know Tommy. You should talk to him. Why the hell did he tell Markus and didn't speak to you?', he hesitated, 'he is way too close to you all the time anyway.' Alex mumbled quietly. Tom stared at him in amusement. 'Are you jealous?' 'No.' Alex sounded defensive. Tom laughed. 'Of Kai?', he kept chuckling. Alex couldn't hide some of his embarrassment and Tom felt bad for him, 'oh dear. How to reassure my man?' He pulled Alex towards him and squeezed him tightly. He pushed his friend onto his back and lay on top of him smiling at him with gentle eyes. Then Tom slowly kissed him again, so softly and lovingly that Alex wanted time to stand still. He smiled at him. 'Okay. Perhaps he's not your type after all?' He said cheekily and they both laughed.

Eventually it was time to get ready and they turned up at training together, smiley and cheerful. Felix ran towards them when he spotted them and hugged them both. Their team mates huddled around them. 'What happened last night then? Was Winter really angry with you for the punch Alex?', they asked him, 'good on you, we've all felt like doing that at some point.' There was roaring laughter and they patted Alex on the back.

'Morning. Can I have everyone's attention for a minute please.' All the players turned to look at Winter and sat down around him on the pitch. Their manager explained that Markus would no longer be part of the team and that the management and him had decided to part ways immediately after there was a strong disagreement the night before. Alex and Tom sat next to each as they listened attentively. 'I appreciate that this is a very sudden and unexpected change but I'm asking you to trust the management to have made the right decision on this matter. I also appreciate that, in theory, this leaves you without any captain in tonight's friendly game so we have asked Felix to wear the captain's band in tonight's match,' Felix blushed and stared but Alex and Tom had already jumped up cheering and soon they were joined by all the other team members. Felix smiled and stood up shaking Winter's hand politely before he sat back down with all eyes on him, 'thank you Felix. I will communicate this to the press a little later on today as well,' Winter looked pleased. He turned to Alex, 'you may have noticed that our maverick over here has injured his hand so the doctors will decide whether he is clear to play in tonight's match. But I feel fairly confident that he should be fine,' the boys laughed, 'so, let's get ready for tonight then!' Winter shouted and all the boys cheered.

Alex and Tom smiled at each other. 'Phew,' Tom said quietly. His eyes were looking for Kai. He gently squeezed Alex’s arm, 'back in a second.' Tom jumped up and slowly wandered over to him. Alex was staring after his friend and he felt uncomfortable again all of a sudden. But not for long. Felix tickled him from behind and Alex curled up on the floor laughing. 'Get off me you idiot!', he gasped as Felix chuckled and stretched his hand out offering to pull him up. Alex caught his breath, 'you know damn well how ticklish I am!', Alex protested, accepted his hand and jumped up, 'congratulations man.' He patted him on the back. He looked over to Kai and Tom again and noticed they were having a serious conversation. Tom's face showed anger and disappointment and Kai's gesturing suggested that he was trying to explain and defend himself. 'Looks like Markus wasn't lying about that one,' Felix said quietly and led Alex away to prevent him from staring, 'come on. He's a big boy,' he put one arm around his shoulder and smiled, 'are you happy?' Alex’s face lit up and he nodded. 'More than just happy.' 'I take it you made up for the time you have missed with each other?', Felix winked and Alex blushed, 'excellent.' Felix patted his back when Tom joined them again. He looked serious. 'Tommy, what did he say?' Alex asked nervously. 'Later,' Tom smiled at him reassuringly. He put one arm around Felix and the other around Alex, 'let's kick some ass here!'

The doctors checked Alex’s hand before he was allowed to start the training session and taped and bandaged it securely. He was given the okay to play in the friendly that night and Tom and Alex were starting to get excited about it. The training session was short but intense and Alex enjoyed every minute of it. He felt like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders and he had finally found his energy again. Tom and Alex combined their game perfectly and they both cheered and hugged whenever one of Alex’s shots hit the back of the net. Everything was back the way it always used to be. And better.

After the session Alex was relieved and grateful to learn that Winter had decided to simply give him a warning instead of a fine and he joined his team mates in the lounge of the hotel to relax and play video games with them for a couple of hours. Alex was glad to be back with all his friends knowing Tom was by his side and their relationship was perfect again.

Tom nudged him after he finished one of his turns on the video games. 'Come on.' He signalled to him to break away from the group. The boys went upstairs to Tom's room, where his friend hugged him tightly taking a deep breath. 'Are you okay?' Alex asked him quietly. Tom looked at him. 'Apparently Kai wanted to protect us. Another one,' he sighed rolling his eyes. Alex frowned at him confused. Tom took his hand and led him to his bed. The boys sat down next to each other, 'he thought it would help if Markus knew about us, just in case it got out somehow. He trusted him and actually thought he'd stand up for us,' he paused, 'he was shocked when I told him how wrong he was.' 'Oh. Really?', Alex was fuming, 'and he didn't bother talking to you first perhaps?' 'Well, that's exactly what I said.' 'And?' Tom hesitated. 'He didn't quite have an answer on that one.'

Alex stood up and walked to the window. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and took a deep breath looking outside. 'I don't believe him. I'm sure he didn't want to hurt you Tommy. But I'm not so sure that the same applies to me.' Tom hugged him from behind and held him kissing his cheek gently. 'Hey. It doesn't matter now.' He whispered. 'He nearly split us up and made our lives hell for a day.' Alex grunted angrily. 'Now, now. That was someone else.' Alex tried to swallow down his anger. Tom kept kissing his cheek and inhaled his scent. 'Hey,' he turned him around and held his head, 'come on. We've got better things to do,' he smiled at him and kissed him gently, 'don't you think?', he kissed him again and again until his friend couldn't help but smile, 'hmm?', Alex slapped him, 'ouch,' Tom laughed quietly, 'what was that for?' 'For being naughty.' Alex said as they started kissing each other passionately before Tom grabbed him and pushed him onto his bed.

When the moment of the international match had come, Alex stood behind Tom in line seconds before they were going out onto the pitch. They could hear fans singing and cheering and the all-encompassing noise carried into the tunnel where all the players were stood. Alex was smiling at the child who he was about to lead onto the pitch. The little boy gazed up at him admiringly and Alex thought of Max and how he would be watching him now with Emma back in Hamburg. As he was chatting to the boy and patting his head he painfully realised that he hadn't really thought of his family at all in the last two days. The fear of losing Tom had taken up all his focus and energy. He hadn't spoken to Emma since they made up on the phone and he knew that this was a sign. A sign that he loved Tom more than her, whether he liked it or not. 'This is it!' Tom had turned to Alex and beamed at him excitedly as Felix as the newly appointed captain started leading his team onto the pitch. 'Yeah. I think you're right.' Alex said and smiled.

The boys absorbed the atmosphere in awe. They had played many international matches together but were overwhelmed again every time. Tom winked at him as he jogged off into his position. Felix patted the back of Alex’s head on his way to shake hands with the Brazilian captain. The whistle was blown, Germany got the ball and the match kicked off.

Alex was focussed on giving his best. He fought for every ball and worked hard. Tom put him into scene a couple of times with clever accurate passes and he had a few good chances of scoring in the first half. At half time Alex was sat on a bench in the changing rooms resting his head against the locker. Winter demanded more pressure and courage and Alex listened attentively as he sipped his energy drink. Tom walked past him and patted his hair. Then Alex could see Kai walking over and he sat down next to him. 'Hey,' he said quietly. Alex stared at him, 'I just wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry,' he looked at Alex and took a deep breath, 'I had no idea this was going to turn so nasty.' He offered him his hand. Alex was unsure. His eyes were looking for Tom, who was speaking to Winter on the other side of the changing room. They both caught his eye and nodded at him encouragingly when they saw Kai's outstretched hand. Alex took a deep breath and finally shook it reluctantly, still feeling angry about it all, 'thank you,' Kai smiled at him, 'you must hate me.' He laughed nervously. 'Too right.' Alex thought to himself. 'Believe me I want nothing more than for Tommy to be happy. And you clearly are doing a very good job at that.' He smiled at him. Alex turned gentler and smiled back at him mischievously. 'As long as you now just keep your big mouth shut please.' Kai laughed and nodded. 'Absolutely!' He got up and patted Alex’s shoulder as he walked off.

It was almost time for the second half when Tom slouched down next to Alex on the bench. 'And?' He looked at Alex expectantly. 'I still don't like him,' Alex mumbled and Tom laughed out loud and grabbed his friend's head pinning it down under his arm, 'get off me!' Alex protested chuckling. 'Time to focus boys!', Winter shouted and clapped his hands, 'I want to see some results out there!' The boys giggled at each other and got in line to march back onto the pitch.

Alex tried to put his manager's strategy into practice and kept working hard at creating chances. Then Tom passed him the perfect ball and Alex could see Kai ahead of him in an ideal position. He sprinted forward, fought to keep the ball and passed it to Kai, who confidently hit the back of the net. Alex could hear Tom's cheers behind him as they ran towards Kai and celebrated the goal with him. Tom joined in and Alex could tell his friend was not only relieved about them having scored as a team but to see Alex and Kai laugh, cheer and hug.

The match ended 1-0 and the team applauded their fans thanking them for their support that evening. Tom and Alex walked off the pitch together wearing their opponents' shirts chatting and giggling. Alex couldn't remember a time when it hadn't been this way. Only that it felt even more special now. They were the perfect match in every way.

The atmosphere in the changing room was celebratory and cheerful. Winter was pleased with his team's performance and he was full of praise for the boys. Felix was mentioned specifically for having done a good job as captain and the team clapped and whistled in agreement. Alex and Tom felt proud of him and couldn't have wished for a better leader.

The team gathered in the hotel bar and lounge area after they had given interviews. Tom got Alex a beer, which he accepted appreciatively. It was a good rest of the evening, full of fun conversations and laughter amongst the whole team. Everyone was in a good mood and started looking forward to going back home to their respective clubs. Except for Alex, who dreaded the goodbye in the morning already. Tom joined him and put one arm around his shoulder. 'Hey,' he said gently, 'time for bed, don't you think?' Alex laughed and nodded. They finished their drinks and quietly sneaked off.

The boys collapsed on the bed in Tom's room and hugged each other tightly. Alex felt tired again but didn't want to fall asleep given it was their last night together yet again. Tom kissed his forehead gently and stroked his arms. Whenever Alex was close to him like this, he was able to forget about everything else. He closed his eyes and enjoyed Tom's gentle fingers brushing up and down his arms.

'Alex?' Tom whispered. 'Hmm?' Alex smiled at him sleepily. 'I've been thinking.' Tom said and stroked his hair. Alex felt awake all of a sudden. 'Have you now,' he giggled, 'what about?' 'About us,' Tom smiled but took a deep breath, 'I don't think I can do this anymore you know.' Alex was alarmed by his words and his tone of voice. He sat up and faced him stroking his leg. 'Tommy, what are you saying?' He asked him anxiously. Tom looked at him seriously. 'We can't continue like this Alex. We can't keep doing this to our girlfriends, to us even,' he shook his head, 'you were right the other day when you said we needed to make a decision.' Alex felt sick again. 'Are you breaking up with me?', he asked hectically, 'is that what you’re saying? Is this it?’ His friend sat up and took his hands. 'No, no, of course not,' he hugged him and kissed his cheek. He took another deep breath, 'if this nightmare we went through has taught me one thing then it's that I want to be with you. And only with you. Do you understand that?', he looked at him and shook his head, 'I don't think until then I realised just how much you are a part of me now,' Alex exhaled with relief gazing at him. Tom laughed sadly as he continued, 'when I lay awake alone that night, I swore to myself that if we can ever be together again, I will change things, put it right.' 'Tommy.' Alex hugged him, squeezing him tightly. 'Do you remember when we were in Austria and you asked me who I'd choose if I had to,' Tom asked him, 'and when I said I'd choose you?', Alex cast his eyes down, 'I still would,' Tom smiled and pulled up his chin, 'perhaps it's time.'

'You also said that we had no choice anyway. Do you remember that?' Alex reminded him gently and shook his head. Tom hugged him. 'I love you Alex,' he whispered in his ear, 'when we first got together I thought we could just carry on with our lives as normal somehow but I was stupid. It doesn't work,' he gulped, 'it's not fair on Christine. If I had another girlfriend I'd break up and move on. Right?' 'Tommy, do you realise what you are saying here?' Tom nodded. 'All I'm saying is that I should end the relationship I'm currently in because I'm in love with someone else. It just so happens to be you. But no-one needs to know that.' He smiled and gently took Alex’s hand again.

Alex was stunned. He couldn't believe what Tom was suggesting. 'You would break up with Christine for me? And pretend to be single to the world. For me?' Tom laughed. 'Is that really such a shock to you?' Alex held Tom's hand and took a deep breath. 'Tommy,' he shook his head, 'I know what you mean, I..,' he gasped for air, 'I feel exactly the same. If I could, I would start again. With you. Christ I'd be the first one to put an end to this double life and all this guilt,' he felt emotional and struggled to get his words out, 'but I can't leave my family. I can't leave my son Tommy.' Tom kissed him gently. 'And I'm not expecting you to. Max is more important than anything else in the world. You need to do what's right for him,' Alex had started trembling, 'hey.' Tom hugged him, holding him tightly. 'I can't lose my son.' Alex said quietly. 'Don't be silly. Do you think I'd for a minute let that happen? He needs his daddy,' Tom stroked his hair and kissed his cheek. Alex was taking deep breaths, 'I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry,' he hugged him again, 'look, we don't have to decide anything today or tomorrow. All that matters is that we know that we love each other. The rest will fall into place.' Tom kissed him and Alex nodded. He pulled Alex towards him so he could rest his head against his chest. He stroked him and kept kissing his hair as his friend started feeling calmer again. 'We'll make it work.' Alex mumbled feeling exhausted now. 'That's right,' Tom laughed and kissed his forehead, 'we'll make it work.'

Alex woke up in the middle of the night feeling disoriented for a moment. He realised he was still in his clothes from the night before. He turned and saw Tom peacefully sleeping next to him. His heart jumped looking at him. He thought about their conversation again and despite his fear of losing his son he knew deep down that he wanted to be with Tom. If he was a woman they'd be going out publicly, there was no doubt about it. Despite Alex having a child. And the world would just accept it.

Alex carefully started stroking Tom's cheeks and lips. He suddenly felt overwhelmed with lust for him. He kissed him gently and Tom opened his eyes waking up to Alex’s soft kiss. 'Hey,' he mumbled sleepily and smiled at him. Alex kissed him more passionately and started unbuttoning his trousers, 'what do you think you're doing?' Tom laughed quietly. Alex’s touch became more demanding. 'Sleep with me.' He whispered into his ear as he let his hand slip into his friend's boxers stroking him gently. Tom grabbed his head with desire and kissed him, quietly moaning. He sat up and pushed Alex over. He undressed him as he was kissing his neck, stroking his shoulders and back. Alex closed his eyes and felt electrified with pleasure. They kissed and stroked each other full of lust and passion, completely giving into their desire for each other.

Tom was covered in sweat as Alex held and hugged him, kissing his cheek as he was getting his breath back. 'Tommy,' he kissed him, 'you feel so good. How can this be wrong?', he looked at his face and smiled at him, 'how can anyone think this is wrong?' 'I don't know.' Tom said and smiled back at him resting his head against his chest. 'I'll miss you so much.' Alex whispered. 'Shhh,' Tom looked up at him and placed one finger on his friend's lips, 'it's not morning yet. I refuse to think about it until we have to go.' Alex kissed his forehead and inhaled his scent. 'Okay.' He laughed quietly and the boys fell asleep again.

Chapter 5

Alex was woken up by gentle kisses and couldn't help but smile as he stretched in bed. 'Morning sleepy head.' Tom was showered and fully dressed already beaming at him. 'Why are you always awake before me?' Alex mumbled sleepily. Tom grinned at him. 'You mean unless it's 2 o'clock in the morning?' He kissed him again and Alex laughed. 'Are you all packed yet?', Alex looked around the room, 'wow,' he said sadly, 'you can't wait to leave, hmm?' To his surprise, Tom didn't look concerned at all. 'You're right. I can't wait,' he laughed, 'I don't think you've asked me once how I'll get back to Dortmund. I mean fair enough we've been distracted but seriously how do you think I'll get home?' Alex looked at him confused. 'Isn't one of your friends giving you a lift back?' Tom giggled. 'Yes that was the plan. But I have changed it,' he kissed Alex gently, 'I'm flying back from Hamburg, and not till tonight. I'm yours for the whole day. If you want me.' Alex’s face lit up. 'Really?', he hugged him and pulled him on top of him in bed, 'that's a great plan,' he smiled at his friend, 'what do you want to do?' Tom shrugged his shoulders. 'Nothing really. I just want to hang out with you.' Alex’s heart jumped. 'Right. I better get up and pack as well then!' He pushed his friend off him gently and jumped out of bed. Tom watched him getting dressed. 'You're hot.' He whispered giggling and Alex winked at him. 'You are not so bad yourself.' He kissed him before he went into his own room to pack as well.

Tom and Alex said goodbye to all their team mates and Winter thanking him again for his support and protection. 'You are both important to me and this team. Not only as players but as individuals. You can always talk to me, no matter what.' He patted both boys on the back.

'We're so lucky to have Winter,' Tom said grimly, shaking his head once they had hit the road, 'it would have been a different story without him.' Alex nodded in agreement. 'Yes, we'd be all over the press by now. Headline news.' He shivered and Tom gently took his hand. 'I wonder what he'll do.' Tom said with a hint of concern in his voice. 'Markus?' 'Hmm,' Tom nodded, 'I don't think he'll just let it go. I don't know,' he looked at him, 'you know that I would have stood by you regardless. Don't you?' He asked. Alex answered by squeezing his hand. They smiled at each other in silence.

The boys decided to spend the morning go-karting. They managed to book the whole place out for themselves and did various races against each other. Alex was desperate to beat Tom and almost took him out a couple of times. They laughed and joked with each other whenever they overtook one another. It was a close call but in the end Tom had won and boasted about the result. 'Oh well if you can't beat me at football, there is only go-karting left!' Alex giggled and tickled his friend as they made their way back to the car. 'I'm starving now,' Tom laughed as they got underway again, 'that was awesome fun!'

Alex drove them to a remote countryside restaurant for lunch. 'Your new local?' Tom winked at him once they had sat down in a private area and ordered. Alex tutted. 'No. Special occasions.' He muttered. 'Oh,' Tom raised his eyebrows and looked impressed, 'I feel honoured,' he grinned, 'what's the occasion?' 'You, you idiot,' Alex whispered and laughed, 'and the fact that I still have you.' He added more seriously and gulped. Tom stroked his knee under the table.

The waiters arrived with their food and a couple of beers. 'The last few days have been tough, hmm?' Tom said pensively. Alex nodded and hesitated. He looked at him. 'Tommy, will you still break up with Christine?' He asked anxiously. Tom smiled at him. 'Yes I think it's what I need to do.' Alex shook his head. 'It'll be all over the press Tommy.' 'That will go away,' Tom paused, 'I've got to be honest with her. She thinks I'll marry her and have kids with her one day. But I know I won't. I'm ruining her life if I don't face up to it.' He gently touched Alex’s knee under the table. 'Will you tell her why?' Alex asked and gulped. 'I don't know yet,' Tom hesitated, 'I think I'll have to tell her that I'm gay. Yes.' He said quietly and Alex squeezed his hand under the table.' 'God, Tommy,' Alex shook his head, 'what if she tells the press? It'll be hell on earth for you.' Tom smiled at him again. 'I would have hoped she has enough sense not to do that,' he nudged him, 'hey, don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine,' he laughed, 'who knows, perhaps she'll be relieved that we break up,' Alex frowned at him. Tom realised it was a bad joke. He shrugged his shoulders, 'alright it'll be tough for a while. But I think I'll feel better in the long term. And she can get on with her life and find someone who will give her what she deserves.' Alex smiled at him. He admired Tom's courage and wished in a way he didn't have Max to worry about. For him it was a completely different situation. Yet he had decided for himself that he would also consider ending his relationship with Emma. He didn't know when or how but he knew it would only be a question of time.

'Hey?' Tom said quietly and Alex realised he had been lost in thought eating his lunch. 'Hey, sorry.' 'What were you thinking about?' Tom asked and was looking for his hand under the table. Alex grabbed it and squeezed it hard. 'I was just thinking that that is excellent lamb! Don't you agree?' Tom chuckled and shook his head. 'Liar.' He said and winked at him.

After lunch the boys went for a walk in the woods near the restaurant. They wore their caps and sunglasses and managed to avoid big groups of walkers. It was still bitterly cold but the sun was shining and it turned out to be a nice wintery afternoon. The further they walked the more private they felt and there was hardly anyone around. Alex took Tom's hand as they strolled next to each other chatting. When they found a bench, they sat down closely to one another. Tom kissed him gently.

'When will I see you again?' He asked. Alex shook his head. 'Not until mid March.' Tom nodded sadly. 'I would give anything to change those long periods of time when I can only see you on television in the sports highlights!' They both laughed. 'Losing. Again.' Alex added and Tom giggled stroking his cheek. He looked at him. 'You know, I often wish we had got together when I was still in Hamburg,' he said sadly, 'I would have never left.' Alex hugged him and kissed his cheek. 'I know. But maybe you had to leave for us to realise.' 'Like I had to lose you to know that I only want to be with you?' Tom asked. 'Maybe,' Alex kissed him again, 'it's getting dark, we should start heading back.' Tom nodded and held his head. 'I never want to lose you again, do you hear me?' He looked at him intently. Alex smiled and rubbed his nose against Tom's. 'You had never lost me really. You just thought you did,' he paused, 'my word your nose is cold! Come on, let's get back to the car.' Tom laughed as Alex pulled him up and they started strolling back arm in arm, slowly making their way back through the woods.

As they both got back into the car Alex checked his phone and saw that he had three missed calls from Emma. He frowned at his mobile and Tom looked over his shoulder. 'What's up?' He asked him. 'I don't know but Em tried to ring me several times. That's odd.' He started the car and called her mobile number putting her on speaker phone as he was driving. 'Hello honey.' Emma said as she picked up. 'Hey,' Alex said feeling awkward with Tom next to him, 'is everything alright? I had all these missed calls from you?' 'Oh well yes everything is fine it's just that, erm,' she was hesitating and it sounded like she was trying to find a spot where she could talk without being disturbed. Tom and Alex frowned at each other, 'well, Markus is here and he said he needed to talk to you urgently.'

Alex nearly hit the brakes at full speed and Tom held his breath in shock. 'Honey? Can you hear me?' Alex tried to focus on the road. 'Yes, erm, sure. Just driving Tommy to the airport.' He pulled into a path off the main road and turned the engine off. 'He is behaving a bit oddly if you ask me,' Emma continued, 'he won't leave until you turn up,' Alex and Tom looked at each other with fear in their eyes, 'he looks awful as well. Like he's been beaten up or something.' She giggled nervously. The boys looked at each other again. 'What does he want Em?' Alex asked. 'I don't know. He says he can't say.' Alex shook his head. 'I'm on my way,' he said emotionless, 'I'm just dropping Tommy off. I won't be long. Will you be alright?' 'Yes sure. He's playing with Max at the moment.' Alex gasped. 'Keep an eye on him though. Yeah?' Tom put his hand over his mouth as he listened in disbelief. 'Of course,' Emma giggled, 'see you in a bit.' She hung up.

The boys silently sat in the car for a moment and tried to take it all in. Tom was the first to react. He grabbed Alex’s head and kissed him. 'We need to go,' he urged him. Alex took deep breaths, 'Alex, hey, it will be alright,' Tom hugged him tightly, 'let's go though, come on.' Alex looked at him. 'What does he want Tommy?' He asked him in tears of panic. 'I don't know,' Tom stroked his hair full of empathy, 'maybe he just wants to apologise. Let's find out. Come on.' Alex nodded bravely. 'I'll..., I'll drop you off at the airport.' He stammered as he was about to start the car. 'No you won't,' Tom kissed him, 'there is no way I'm leaving now.' Alex looked at him confused. 'But at what time is your flight?' 'Whenever. It doesn't matter,' Alex smiled sadly, 'I'm coming with you. We're in this together,' Tom stroked his cheeks. Alex hugged and kissed him, 'let's go.' Tom said encouragingly and Alex started the car.

The boys didn't speak much on their way to Alex’s house. Tom kept holding his friend’s hand reassuringly. All the feelings of stress and helplessness had come back in an instant. 'He'll tell her,' Alex said suddenly gulping, 'I know he will. He's just waiting for me to be there to see it.' 'Alex,' Tom whispered, 'you don't know that.' Alex laughed bitterly. 'He couldn't leak it to the press, so what's the next best thing?' Tom stroked his hand and tried to calm him down.

They pulled into Alex’s driveway and parked the car. All the lights were on as if the house itself was in panic. Tom was about to jump out when Alex grabbed his hand. He looked at him intently. 'Whatever happens in there now, no matter how this may end, you mean everything to me. Remember that.' He said and gulped down tears as Tom kissed him. 'Okay,' Tom whispered and nodded with fear in his eyes, 'okay.'

The boys ran towards the house and Alex closed his eyes and took a deep breath as Tom was resting his hand on his back and went in behind him. 'We're in the lounge.' Emma shouted down towards them. They looked at each other one more time. 'Ready?' Tom asked him quietly. Alex nodded and they both went upstairs.

Markus was sat on the sofa with Max playing in front of him on the floor and Emma sat opposite him in an armchair. As soon as Max spotted Alex he got up and ran towards him. 'Daddy!' Alex picked him up with a sigh of relief. 'Baby,' he hugged and kissed him, 'I've missed you.' He inhaled his scent and kissed him again. 'Uncle Tommy!' Max cheered as he could see him peeking over Alex’s shoulder. Tom laughed and stroked his cheek with his finger. 'Hello young man.' Max stretched his little arms out towards him and giggled. Alex smiled at Tom and passed him over to his friend.

'There you are,' Emma said laughing, 'I thought you are taking Tommy to the airport first?' Alex nodded. 'Change of plans.' He mumbled. 'Evening boys!' Markus waved at them from the sofa. Alex and Tom stared at him. 'What on earth happened to your hand?', Emma asked in disbelief as she stood up and walked towards them, 'I was wondering about that during the match already,' she shook her head and hugged and kissed Alex before she gave Tom a kiss on the cheek, 'hello trouble.' She smiled. 'Hi.' Tom nodded but quickly cast his eyes down and held Max closer. Alex turned to Markus. 'Why are you here?' He said in a cold tone of voice. 'Darling, that isn't very nice,' Emma interrupted, 'how about 'how are you'?', she laughed, 'I'll get us some wine.' She went into the kitchen.

'What the hell are you doing here?' Alex spat through his teeth as quietly as possible. Markus smiled. 'We hadn't quite finished our conversation the other day.' 'Watch it. I have no problem punching you in the face again. And not just once this time.' He hissed angrily. Tom gently stroked his back trying to calm him down. 'Markus please,' Tom said quietly and kissed Max's cheek,' 'please don't do this.' He begged him.

Emma walked back into the lounge with a bottle of wine and four glasses but hesitated. 'Did you boys have an argument or something? You are all behaving really oddly!' She opened the bottle and poured the wine. 'I don't want anything thanks,' Alex said as gently as possible, 'and I'm sure Markus wants to leave us very soon.' He gave him a threatening look. Emma started looking concerned. 'Alex, you are being rude. What is going on?', she walked over to Tom and gently took Max on her arm. She looked at the boys expectantly, 'so?'

'Why don't you sit down and we have a glass of wine and a chat?' Markus said and smiled wryly. Alex was full of anger. Tom jumped in and decided to play the game. 'Yeah, why the hell not,' he walked towards the sofas and sat down opposite Markus. He took one of the glasses and gave Alex a look. Then he smiled at Emma, 'thank you Em.' She took Alex’s hand and pulled him towards the sofas. 'Come on, don't be so grumpy. They're our guests.' Alex could feel her cold hand and saw the worry in her eyes. 'Fine.' He smiled at her and reluctantly sat down next to Tom. He took a glass of wine from the table and looked at Markus. 'Did you have a fun afternoon?' Markus asked and sipped his wine. 'Not too bad.' Alex said coldly. 'What did you do?' 'We went go-karting,' Alex shook his head and forced a laugh, 'this is ridiculous. Why are you asking us this?' 'I'm making conversation Alex. That's what people do.' Alex was getting stressed and drank some of his wine. Then he took a deep breath.

'So,' he said calmly trying to sound polite, 'I'm assuming you're not here to chat about our afternoon activities. What would you really like to talk about?' Markus grinned and Alex could feel the panic in him rise again. 'Shouldn't the question be what you want to talk about Alex?' Alex stared at him. 'Stop playing games.' He said quietly. 'Ha. I couldn't have said anything more appropriate!' Markus said and laughed. 'I don't understand,' Emma frowned, 'what are you talking about?' She looked at Markus. 'Do you want to tell her? Or shall I?' Markus asked. Tom and Alex tensed up and almost forgot to breathe. 'I don't know what you mean.' Alex said quietly and gulped staring at him.

'Your wonderful boyfriend over there is responsible for my injuries.' He said pointing at Alex. Emma frowned surprised. Then she looked at his hand again and put two and two together. 'My God, you did have an argument. A fight even! But why?' Alex gasped looking at Markus. 'Nothing too serious.' Markus said. Emma hugged Max more tightly in her arms. 'Alex,' Emma said reproachfully, 'you can't just go around punching people!' 'Please Em.' Alex said irritatedly. 'Is this linked with Markus no longer being captain as well?' She asked him. Alex took a deep breath. 'Vaguely.' He nodded. 'Vaguely?', Markus frowned at him, 'absolutely!' 'Look, I'm sorry about what happened, alright? Can we drop this now?' Alex was breathing hard with stress.

There was a moment of awkward silence. Max was getting unsettled on Emma's lap. She stroked his hair and sat him on the floor but he crawled straight towards Alex, who picked him up and held him closely. Max giggled and settled on his dad's lap, cheekily smiling at Tom. Alex was feeling stressed but was desperately trying to stay calm. 'What a great dad you are,' Markus said, 'look at him. Such a natural. Isn't he?' He said to Emma pointing at Alex and Max.

'I think we talked about everything. You should go now.' Tom said calmly. He stared at Markus intently, who stood up and helped himself to more wine. Tom shook his head in frustration. 'Is this your house?', Markus asked surprised, 'I don't think you can tell me what I can and can't do here?' Alex handed Max to Tom, who grabbed him protectively and kissed his cheek. He stood up and faced Markus. 'Tommy is right. It's time to go. And it is my house after all.' He looked at him with angry eyes.

'You're all crazy,' Emma said annoyed, 'what is it with boys?', she looked at Tom, 'you always used to be the sensible one. What is going on Tommy?' Tom didn't respond. Instead he pressed his nose into Max's hair avoiding any eye contact. Markus sipped his wine and sat back down. Tom pulled Alex by his hand for him to sit down again as well.

Markus smiled at her. 'Have you ever wondered why Alex hangs out with Tommy all the time?' Emma laughed and drank some of her wine. 'Why should I? Those two have been inseparable for years. They get on like a house on fire. Always have done.' Alex and Tom gave Markus a threatening look. They knew exactly where this was going. Markus laughed. 'Yes they have, haven't they?', he paused, 'only that it may not be as innocent as it looks.' He smiled and took another sip of his wine. Emma looked at the boys confused. 'What does that mean?'

Alex jumped up and was close to punching Markus again. 'Watch your mouth.' He spat through his teeth. 'Alex, you scare me.' Emma gulped. She took Max off Tom and stood up facing Alex holding her son in her arms. Alex walked towards her and hugged her. 'It's okay. I don't mean to scare you. I'm sorry.' He stroked her and Max's hair. He felt so stressed and desperate, he could have started crying again.

'You know I thought exactly the same. That they are just exceptionally good friends. Until very recently when I found out the truth,' Markus paused and Alex felt like his heart was about to stop, 'Emma, I am really sorry to tell you this but I feel you deserve to know what's really going on here,' he had stood up and looked at her intently, 'your boyfriend is gay. And he's sleeping with Tom behind your back.' Emma stared at Alex in shock. 'What?', she muttered and almost laughed in disbelief clutching Max in her arms, 'is this true?' She mumbled as her eyes were welling up with tears. Her whole body was shaking and Max started crying as he sensed the desperate situation. Alex carefully stroked her hair. He smiled at her sadly.

'Don't believe this nonsense Em. He's full of shit.' Tom shouted and gasped for air. 'Tommy.' Alex shook his head whilst looking at Emma's shocked face still stroking her hair. 'Tell her Alex!', Tom urged him in despair, 'tell her that we're only friends and nothing more. Of course he only loves you and Max, Em.' 'Tommy,' Alex turned around and gave him a look, 'it's okay,' he whispered as he could see Tom's desperate face. He turned back to Emma, who stared at him expectantly. He took a deep breath, 'yes, it is true,' he said quietly, 'Tommy and I are together.' Emma broke down in tears and Alex caught her just before she was about to collapse. He sat her down on a chair as she was still holding Max tightly in her arms. He bent his knees and rested his hands on her thighs checking her face with concern. 'Get off me!' She shouted angrily and pushed him over onto the floor.

Markus slowly took his coat whilst Tom couldn't take his eyes off Emma and Alex as he watched them in horror. 'I'm sorry Emma. But you deserve better than this,' Markus said quietly and slowly made his way to the stairs. The boys stared at him in disbelief, 'I'll see myself out.' He said as he put his coat on and started descending the stairs. Alex was still lying on the floor and Tom felt helpless and paralysed. Then he finally started running after Markus and caught him just before he reached his car. 'Why did you have to do this?', he shouted at him in despair, 'why couldn't you just let it go?', he was breathing hard, 'you've just destroyed three people's lives.' 'No, Tom, you are both responsible for your actions. Alex could have done the right thing and finish it. It was his choice not to.' Tom stared at him. 'It's none of your fucking business!', he shouted at him, 'you had no right to do this to him.' He was crying in frustration. 'I'd rather Emma wasn't in this state right now. But I had to tell her the truth.' 'What are you, some sort of morale apostle?', Tom said, 'I just don't get you.' 'She is a gorgeous girl, a wonderful mother. He just doesn't deserve her.' He took a deep breath. Tom stared at him with wide eyes. 'I don't believe this,' he muttered, 'you fancy her. Don't you? Was this about Emma all along?', he almost laughed in disbelief, 'what, are you trying to be her saviour or something?' Markus laughed and got into his car, 'she would never go for a loser like you!', Tom tried to stop him from closing the door but was too late, 'and you call us sick?' He shouted after him as he drove off at full speed. Tom just stared. He could hear Emma screaming at Alex inside the house. Then he took a deep breath, wiped the tears off his cheeks and ran back indoors.

Alex had stood up again and tried to take Max off Emma to soothe him. The child was still crying with stress and fear. 'Take your filthy hands off him,' Emma shouted, 'do you really think I'll ever leave him one more minute with you?' Alex felt scared and helpless. 'Em, please,' he said calmly, 'please let me just explain everything to you.' He gasped for air. She jumped up and walked to the other side of the room with Max in her arms. 'Explain?', she screamed, 'that you're gay?', she laughed, 'I'm looking forward to that.'

They both looked at Tom as he came back upstairs. Alex was relieved to see him and his presence made him feel a little less desperate. 'Ah. Super lover is back,' Emma laughed bitterly, 'excellent.' She walked towards Tom and looked at him. 'God, I'm such a daft cow,' she said quietly, 'I saw the signs and thought he was sleeping with other women,' she shook her head, 'instead it was you,' she looked at Tom in disgust. Then she turned to Alex, 'how long has this been going on for?' He gulped and cast his eyes down. 'Not long. I...' 'How long?' She shouted. Alex took a deep breath. 'Four months.' She stared at him. 'My God. Your skiing weekend in Austria. It was an excuse to shag,' the boys exchanged a look, 'did you laugh about me when you had sex with each other? About how stupid and naive I am?' 'Em.' Alex shook his head. 'You must have thought it was hilarious.' She continued. 'Em,' Alex said more assertively, 'we have always felt incredibly guilty about all this.' She stared at him. 'Oh. You poor boys.'

Tom took a deep breath. 'It's all my fault Em,' he said quietly, 'it would have never happened if it wasn't for me.' He gasped for air. 'Tommy.' Alex shook his head. 'He has always loved you and Max. He would have never wanted to hurt you.' 'Tommy,' Alex smiled at him, 'don't. It's okay.' Max had calmed down a little in Emma's arms. She looked at Tom. 'And what does Christine say to all this?', she asked him, 'oh no wait. Let me guess. She has been just as stupid as me? Am I right?' She shouted. 'She doesn't know yet. No,' Tom shook his head, 'I, I..,' he stammered, 'I was going to finish it as soon as I got back.' Emma laughed. 'Of course you were!' Alex looked at her. 'He really was Em.' He said. 'Well then he has more guts than you will ever have, you coward.' Emma spat through her teeth and Alex bit his lip, trying not to cry.

'When did you know you are gay?', she asked him, 'before we had Max?', Alex avoided her eyes, 'huh?' She pushed him. 'I never knew, really,' he said as tears started rolling down his cheeks 'it wasn't a conscious thing until...' He took a deep breath. 'Until?' Emma shouted. 'Until Tommy kissed me for the first time.' He whispered quietly. Tom held his head in despair. 'Were you ever going to tell me Alex?', her and Alex’s faces were inches from each other, 'don't lie to me.' She said coldly. 'Yes.' He nodded. 'When.' 'I don't know.' Emma smiled sadly. 'You would have just kept cheating on me. Still sleeping with me too, of course. Not that it was that often mind,' she laughed bitterly and looked at him as she was thinking it all through, 'would you have married me as well? I mean, we did talk about that, right?', she started crying again. Alex sighed and walked away towards Tom, 'look at me!' She shouted angrily as she grabbed the wine bottle and threw it against their white living room wall.

Tom and Alex ducked and stared at the wall. It looked like blood had been spilt. Max started crying again. Alex turned and looked at her in shock. She was shaking with anger. 'Do you love him?' She asked him in tears. Alex gulped and could feel Tom's eyes on him too. 'Em.' 'Answer me!' She shouted at him. He took a deep breath and nodded. 'Yes. I do.' He whispered and started crying again. Tom couldn't help himself and took Alex’s hand as he looked at him with fear in his eyes. Emma stared at them both in disbelief. 'Then you are throwing away everything we have? Everything we worked for? Our family? Your son?' She asked him. 'No, of course not.' Alex sobbed and Tom put his arm around his shoulders comforting him. She forced a laugh. 'Yes you are. You just decided against us.' Alex was feeling desperate again. 'I'm sorry,' he whispered. He walked towards her and tried to hug her but she turned away, 'I never wanted to hurt you and Max. Please you have to believe me.' Emma looked at him emotionless. 'Go Alex. You have no family anymore. You are free to do whatever you want. Don't come back.' She walked into Max's room and Alex gasped as he ran after her. 'Emma, please,' but he was too late. She had already locked the door behind her. He cried and knocked on the door, 'please. Don't take Max away from me. Please.' He sobbed and sat down outside their son's room holding his head in despair.

Tom ran towards him and kneeled down next to him. He had started crying as well now. He hugged his friend and kissed his cheek as Alex was desperately sobbing into his shoulder. Tom tried to comfort him but struggled to calm down himself. 'God, what have I done? I've destroyed your life.' Alex hugged and squeezed him. Tom pulled him closer and Alex rested his forehead against his friend's as he was trying to get his breath back. He smiled under his tears. 'You're my life now.' He said and Tom stroked his hair and the tears off his friend's cheeks. He kissed him lovingly and Alex could taste both their salty tears as they were desperately kissing each other, sitting on the floor outside Max's room.

It took a while for Alex to calm down. Tom held and soothed him. He checked the clock on the wall and couldn't believe that it was almost 11 o'clock already. Emma must have been in Max's room for over an hour. He kissed Alex’s hair. 'What now?' He whispered. Alex slowly sat up and looked at him. His face was tear-ridden and exhausted. Tom felt all his pain and gently stroked his cheeks. Alex took his hands and sighed. 'She won't come out of this room until we're gone,' Tom nodded, 'it sounds like at least she managed to put Max to sleep.' Alex said and almost cried again. The boys looked at each other. 'What are we going to do?', Tom asked him quietly, 'we can't stay here.' He stroked his friend's hair again. Alex shook his head. 'No. We can't.' He took a deep breath and slowly got up. Tom stood up with him and held his hand.

'Em,' Alex carefully knocked on Max's door, 'I know you want me to leave,' he paused, 'so we are going now,' he gulped, 'I know you must hate me right now. And I'm sorry I have caused you all this pain,' Tom hugged him as he talked, 'I'll call you tomorrow. Let's talk about all this. Please Em,' he was desperately waiting for a response, 'please?' He kept knocking on the door. 'Go Alex. Please.' Emma sounded incredibly tired. Tom took his hand. He slowly led him down the stairs and they left the house.

The boys got into the car. It was so cold, they could see their breath. Alex felt numb. He played with his car key and just stared. Tom looked at him. 'Where can we go?' He asked him carefully as he was shivering from the cold. Alex laughed sadly. 'You shouldn't even be here anymore.' 'But I am,' Tom said, 'and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.' Alex laughed tiredly and rubbed his forehead in desperation. 'How will you get back to Dortmund?' He asked him and rested both arms on the steering wheel. 'I can fly back early tomorrow morning. That's the least of our worries,' Tom stroked his hair, 'you are the one I'm concerned about.' Alex closed his eyes and enjoyed Tom's gentle touch. 'Did you kill him? Do we need to get rid of the body?', he asked him. Tom laughed tiredly and shook his head, 'what did you say to him?' Alex looked at him. 'That he had no right to do this to you.' Tom gulped. 'And I guess he was full of regrets,' Alex sighed and checked his watch, 'it's bloody midnight Tommy,' he was considering all their options of where they could go, 'I'm going to call my sister. Hopefully she's still awake and we can stay there for the night.' Tom nodded. 'Sounds good.'

Once they were on their way, Alex spoke to his sister Anna, who was surprised but happy to have them. He explained that Emma and him had had an argument and that Tom was still with him. 'Will you be okay?' It's a bit of a drive to Lübeck.' She asked him. 'It'll be alright. It's only half an hour or so.' Alex hit the motorway and the boys got underway. 'Oh damn,' Tom said all of a sudden, 'I haven't told Christine that I'm not on the flight, have I?' He took his phone out and sent her a text message. 'Don't you want to call her?' Alex asked quietly. Tom shook his head. 'I don't want to speak to her now.' Alex reached for Tom's hand. 'You don't have to do this Tommy. Make sure you think about it all again.' Tom looked at him and squeezed his hand.

By the time they had arrived at Anna's house, it was almost 1 o'clock in the morning and the boys were truly exhausted. She had prepared both guest bedrooms for them and Alex and Tom exchanged a look and smiled at each other, thanking her. She tried to get some sense out of Alex as to what had happened but he convinced her to let them rest now and talk about everything in the morning. 'Tommy will need to leave early.' 'That's fine,' Anna said smiling at him, 'just give me a shout.' Alex hugged her and kissed her goodnight. Then the boys closed the door behind them in one of the guest rooms and sat down on the bed.

They looked at each other in silence for a moment. Alex felt drained but was grateful for Tom's presence. He smiled at him. 'You look exhausted,' Tom said and put his arm around his shoulders. Alex’s heart jumped when he saw his friend's tender eyes, full of affection for him. Tom kissed him lovingly, 'Alex, this is all my fault.' He whispered. 'Tommy,' Alex said quietly, 'you have done nothing wrong.' Tom stood up and ran his hands through his hair in despair. 'Perhaps we should consider the other option we had.' He said hectically, pacing up and down the room. Alex frowned at his friend confused. 'What other option?' 'You decide against me. Against us,' Tom was gulping down tears, 'we break up and perhaps it's not too late for you to get your family back.' 'What?', Alex forced a laugh and slowly stood up, 'Tommy,' he grabbed his head and leant into his forehead, 'you don't mean that,' he tried to kiss him but Tom walked away, 'why are you saying this,' he almost started crying again, 'I love you. I want to be with you.' Tom laughed as he turned towards him in tears. 'So how would you feel if Markus started seeing Emma? If he became close to Max?', Alex stared at him, 'could you still love me then?', Tom asked him and bit his lip in agony, 'because that's his plan, that's why he cornered us, I think he knew deep down we weren't going to play ball. He wants your girl, Alex, and I know I couldn't bear watch you suffer,' he took a deep breath, 'because of me. Because I took you away from them.'

Alex was still staring at his friend. 'Is that what he said then,' he asked quietly, 'when you were outside?' Tom cast his eyes down. 'I read between the lines.' Alex slowly walked towards him again. He carefully put his arms around his friend and studied his face. 'Then he is an even bigger fool than I thought he was.' He started laughing quietly. 'What's so funny?' Tom's face was serious. 'She can't stand him. She has always told me how arrogant she finds him. He has no chance with Emma. And he is still a homophobic prick,' Tom didn't laugh, 'Tommy,' he whispered, 'you are not taking me away from them. I choose to be with you.' Tom shook his head. 'Are you sure about this, Alex, because you told me only yesterday that you can't lose your family. Look, I would understand,' he took his hands and kissed them. Alex could feel his friend's tears on his fingertips, 'I would understand if you decided...' Alex silenced him with a long, gentle kiss.

'I was going to tell her,' he said assertively, 'I was going to break up,' Tom stared at him, 'alright, maybe not as soon as today but I was getting used to the idea,' Tom gulped, 'you were right with everything you said. We couldn't continue like this. And you know what?' 'Hmm?' Tom looked at him unsure. 'In all my grief for Max, I also feel a little bit relieved. That she knows now, that we can start moving on.' He stroked his hair and smiled at him. Tom took a deep breath. 'But what's going to happen now Alex? Where will you live? And I'm bloody miles away. I can't even help you.' 'Hey,' Alex hugged him again, 'I'll be okay. I'll stay here at my sis' or I'll get another house somewhere,' he stroked Tom's cheeks and gazed at him, 'you always help me. Okay, you're not here physically but I know you care about me,' he squeezed him, 'I love you so much.' He whispered. 'I don't deserve you.' Tom said sadly, shaking his head. They rested their foreheads against each other and closed their eyes.

'Let's go to sleep,' Alex said, 'I'm so exhausted I can't keep my eyes open anymore.' Tom nodded and kissed him. The boys got ready for bed and curled up against each other under the duvet. Alex dreaded to think about the next few weeks, days even. Instead he focussed on the comforting warmth of Tom's body as he fell asleep in his arms.

Chapter 6

Alex had a restless night tossing and turning. He had a number of confused and bad dreams and woke up several times during the night. Tom tried to calm him by holding him whenever Alex sat up in bed after another nightmare. By the time morning had come Alex was in a bad way, emotionally and physically. The last few days of stress had taken their toll and he had developed a fever and his whole body was aching.

Tom had organised his return flight from Hamburg with his agent as soon as he had got up. He managed to get onto a flight at nine o'clock, which meant he had to leave shortly. He watched Alex sleep restlessly and was full of concern for his friend. He placed his hand on his forehead to gauge how bad his temperature was, which woke Alex up. 'You're boiling,' Tom said, stroking his cheeks gently, 'you need to rest.' 'Do you have to go?' Alex asked quietly. He tried to sit up but felt weak and dizzy. Tom gently pushed him back down. 'I've ordered a taxi. You're not getting out of bed.' 'Tommy,' Alex whispered, 'I want to take you, please.' 'No,' Tom shook his head and looked serious, 'you're ill. You need to rest.' Alex looked at him. 'I wish you could stay.' He gulped. Tom took his hand and kissed him, his face was full of empathy. 'Me too,' he took a deep breath, 'now promise me you rest and let your sister look after you for the next couple of days. I'll call you every day.' He stroked his hair and kissed him again. Then he got up and took his bag. Alex smiled at him. 'Thank you for staying with me yesterday. I would have not coped without you.' Tom nodded.

'Taxi is here.' They could hear Anna's voice. 'Bye.' Tom said sadly as he turned and walked towards the door. 'Tommy.' Alex said and propped himself up on his elbows and Tom turned towards him again. Alex smiled at him with gentle eyes. Tom couldn't help himself. He stormed back towards the bed and kissed Alex again lovingly and the boys cried and laughed, both at the same time, holding each other tightly. 'I'll do whatever I can to make sure you're alright.' Tom whispered into Alex’s ear as he slowly let go off his friend. Alex nodded and smiled at him. Tom stroked over Alex’s feverish forehead one last time before he picked up his bag again. Alex followed him with his eyes as he left the room and closed the door behind him. He took a deep breath and went back to sleep.

'Morning you.' Anna had brought some tea and porridge into the room on a tray. Alex opened one eye and stretched in bed. He wanted to hide under the duvet. From his sister and the whole world. He felt marginally better after another couple of hours sleep but still suffered from flu-like symptoms with his whole body weak and in agony. He carefully sat up and sighed, running his hands over his face. 'Thank you.' He said quietly, looking at his breakfast. Anna smiled at him. 'I assume you should be at training, do you want me to ring anyone?' 'Shit,' Alex had totally forgotten about his own session, 'don't worry, I'll call my agent in a minute.' 'I can do that,' Anna looked through Alex’s jeans pockets and found his phone, 'how about you have some breakfast. Is it David still?', Alex nodded, 'I'll tell them you're sick.' As Anna explained the situation on the phone, Alex tried to eat some porridge even though he didn't feel particularly hungry. He sipped some tea and started to feel a little better.

Anna sat down by his bed and looked at him. 'Did you two end up chatting all night?', she asked him, 'Tommy's bed was untouched. Did he not sleep?' Alex looked at her as he was sipping his tea. 'He did sleep,' he said quietly, 'we both slept in this bed.' Anna frowned at him confused. 'Anyway, he seemed to have got in the cab okay so hopefully he will have made his flight.' Alex nodded as he kept eating.

'So what happened with Em last night then?' She asked with a hint of pure nosiness. 'We had an argument.' Alex said factually. 'In front of Tommy?' 'Yep,' Alex finished his last spoonful of porridge and took a deep breath. He looked at her, 'actually, it was worse than an argument. We split up.' 'What?', Anna stared at him in shock, 'are you crazy? Why? Doesn't she love you anymore?', she paused, 'or do you not love her anymore?', Anna's voice was full of panic, 'well surely you can sort it all out? I mean what about Max?' Alex shook his head. 'Anna,' he gulped, 'I don't know quite how to tell you this. And I'm hoping you'll understand,' he took her hand, 'there was a reason Tommy was still with me. And there was a reason we slept in one bed,' he looked at her intently, 'we're together,' he whispered and gently stroked her hand, 'I love him Anna.' His sister stared at him with wide eyes. 'You're....' She struggled finishing her sentence, saying the word. Alex nodded. 'Yes.'

Anna stood up and put her hand over her mouth in distress. She nervously walked up and down the room. 'But that's impossible Alex,' she shook her head and forced a laugh, 'you have a son. You were going out with girls ever since I can remember!' Alex nodded. He started feeling weak and ill again. 'Yes I know. So?' Anna shrugged her shoulders looking at him expectantly. 'So you can't be g...' She stopped herself from saying it. 'Anna, you can say it, it's not a disease you know.' She sat back down by his bed and stroked over his hair staring at him. 'You need help.' 'What?', Alex laughed, 'no Anna, I don't need help. I'm fine,' all he needed was Tom to come back on the next plane. He took her hand again, 'look,' he said gently, 'I love a man instead of a woman. That's all it is. It's nothing to worry about, in fact it's absolutely bloody fantastic,' he smiled at Anna's shocked face, 'I know it's a bit unexpected perhaps,' he kept stroking her hand, 'but he's making me happy.' He said smiling at her. Anna still stared at him. 'Really?' She asked him in disbelief. Alex nodded. 'Yes. Really.'

'So you told Em last night. This is why you broke up?' She asked. Alex’s face turned sad. He told her everything that had happened and Anna became more and more understanding. She stroked his hair and lay down on the bed listening with a mix of shock and fascination.

'God Alex,' she said finally, 'do you realise how tough this is going to be for you both? As footballers? How will this ever work out?' 'I don't know,' Alex said sadly, 'I have no idea. 'Are you sure this isn't just a fling? Some temporary thing that you'll grow out of?' Anna asked him. 'I don't know. It feels pretty real to me.' He cast his eyes down. 'And Tommy?' Anna said. Alex looked at her. 'What about him?' 'Are you sure he loves you too and doesn't just entertain himself with you?' Alex stared at her. 'Yes,' he said confidently and a touch hurt, 'I am sure.' Anna sighed. 'Okay. He seems like a nice enough boy anyway,' she giggled nervously. Then she looked worried again, 'and what will dad say to all this?' Alex felt ill and just wanted to go to sleep again. 'Keep this to yourself Anna. Please. I'll tell mum and dad when I think it's right. No word to anyone, do you hear me? Football is a fickle business. If this gets out, it will all be over for me. Remember that.' Anna nodded and smiled at him. 'I promise,' Alex sighed with relief and closed his eyes feeling weak, 'you can stay here as long as you like,' Anna brushed over his forehead, 'I'll look after my little brother. Even though he is clearly insane.' She laughed. Alex smiled at her gratefully. 'Thank you.'

Alex’s mobile rang and Tom's number came up. Anna must have seen the joy in her brother's eyes when he realised who it was. She looked at the phone and smiled pretending to pass it to Alex only to pick up herself. 'I have to say you are more trouble than I thought young man,' she paused and laughed quietly. Alex rolled his eyes, stretching his hand out towards her, 'yes he's awake. I'll pass you over.' She grinned and passed Alex the phone. Then she sat back down on the bed looking at her brother expectantly. 'Hold on a sec,' Alex said into the phone and gave his sister a look, 'Anna!' He stared at her in disbelief. 'Oh. Right.' She said and giggled nervously as she left the room.

Alex rolled his eyes again and pressed the phone close to his ear. 'Please come back. I can't be without you.' He whined jokingly and made Tom laugh. 'Hey,' his friend said gently, 'how are you feeling?' 'Pretty shit,' Alex laughed quietly, 'did you make it to training on time?' 'Just about,' Tom hesitated, 'have you spoken to Em yet?' Alex shook his head. 'No, I haven't found the strength yet.' 'But your sis knows now?' 'Yes, erm, too many questions. I had to just be honest,' he paused, 'you don't mind, do you?' Alex felt worried all of a sudden. Tom laughed sadly. 'Don't be silly. Of course not.'

There was a pause. Alex painfully realised how much he missed him already. 'Alex,' Tom said, 'I still feel responsible for this mess,' he gasped for air, 'I feel guilty and shit. I just wish I could do something for you.' Alex smiled. 'Tommy, I'll have to do this on my own. It's my mess, not yours. None of this is your fault. I have chosen you and now I have to face up to the consequences,' Tom took a deep breath. Alex closed his eyes and lay down again, 'what would you do if you were here now?' He asked him grinning. Tom giggled quietly. 'I would probably kiss you, idiot.' He whispered laughing. 'And catch this evil bug?' Tom laughed. 'I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you, that's for sure.' Tom continued. 'That sounds good,' Alex smiled as he imagined it, 'the reality is that you would have to tidy the dirty porridge bowl and tea mug away before you even get close to me. And I badly need a shower, I tell you.' Tom chuckled.

'I'll speak to Christine tonight.' Tom said suddenly. Alex gasped. 'I was hoping you might change your mind.' 'Why?' Tom sounded surprised. 'Because it will be traumatising and you have suffered enough with me already.' Tom hesitated. 'Alex, it's only fair surely that we are both in the same boat, right?' 'I just don't want you having to go through what I'm going through. That's all.' Tom sighed. 'I have to go now. The second session starts. Make sure you rest Alex. Okay?', Tom sounded worried about him, 'I'll call you again later.' 'Sure, bye.' Alex hung up and pressed his phone against his mouth as he closed his eyes taking deep breaths. 'What a mess.' He muttered and hoped Tom would change his mind after all.

Alex slept almost throughout the whole day. His sister kept bringing him food, which he barely touched. His dreams turned feverish again and every time he woke up he was looking for Tom next to him. And sighed whenever he realised he was gone.

Finally towards the evening, he managed to get up. He called Emma several times but only got through to her voicemail. Eventually he managed to sit down for a meal with his sister. 'Did you not have to go to work today by the way?' Alex asked her thinking about it all of a sudden. 'I had a job to do here today,' she smiled, 'and you're quite a handful.' Alex looked at her gratefully. 'She won't pick up the phone.' He said frustratedly. 'Well, I would leave you to suffer for a bit too,' Alex nodded, 'can you go to training tomorrow?' 'I hope so.' Anna touched his forehead. 'Hmm, still hot. I doubt it. You better ring your manager.' Alex thought of Tom and how he would come home from training now to speak to Christine. To distract himself, he decided to call his manager and explained that he had had to move out of his home temporarily for personal reasons. At the same time he asked him to keep any information to the press as vague as possible until he was able to sort things out. His manager promised him his support, which Alex was grateful for.

As he was about to go back to bed, Tom rang again. Alex answered quickly. 'Tommy?', he asked hectically, 'are you alright?' He listened out for his voice. 'Alex!' Alex gulped as he recognised Christine's voice. He could tell he was on speaker phone in a car. 'Hey Christine.' He said as calmly as possible. 'You didn't expect me to call you, did you?' Alex took a deep breath. 'Is Tommy not with you?' He asked her anxiously and could hear her laugh bitterly. 'I managed to steal his phone before he noticed,' Alex was getting more and more worried but before he could ask her about it further, she continued, 'so who is it?' She asked him angrily. Alex was confused. 'Who is what?' Christine took a deep breath. 'Tommy just broke up with me. He told me he's in love with someone else,' she said in tears, 'you're his best friend. You must know who he's sleeping with! Tell me Alex,' Alex gulped, 'tell me!' She shouted again. 'I don't know.' Alex muttered. 'Liar!' She screamed into the phone. Alex rubbed his forehead in despair. 'Christine, please calm down.' He tried to sound as gentle as possible. 'Whoever it is, I'll make life hell for her I swear.'

'Christine, where is Tommy?' 'I left him in the house. I just had to get out. I was going through his phone trying to find any women's names I don't know. Any text messages. But there's nothing,' she sobbed, 'who is she?' She screamed again. Alex's mind was racing. He decided to play along and somehow try and calm her down. 'Christine, where are you going? You sound like you're in your car. You shouldn't be driving in this state.' 'I can't drive far enough away from HIM!' She shouted. 'Where are you going?' Christine took a deep breath. 'To see my parents,' she gasped for air from all the crying, 'who is she Alex? Just tell me.' Alex felt awfully guilty again. 'Would he not tell you?' He asked carefully. 'Well. I didn't give him much time to explain himself,' she grunted, 'I certainly gave him a good slap in the face though.' She sounded pleased. Alex pulled a face at the thought of it. He was desperate to speak to him now. 'So I'm asking you one last time Alex, I'm begging you. Tell me who she is.' 'I can't.' Alex said and rubbed his forehead in despair. He was so close to telling her. But Tom had to do this alone.

'Fine. Be like this. I should have known better,' she forced a laugh again, 'you boys always cover for each other. Even now! At least you can't speak to him straight away. Taking his phone was the best thing I could have done,' Alex closed his eyes, 'I had a missed call from Emma this morning by the way. Do you know what that's about?' She said all of a sudden. 'What?' Alex muttered. 'She called me and left a message but I haven't managed to speak to her yet. Do you know what she wanted?' Christine asked impatiently. 'No, I..., I...,' Alex stammered, 'I don't know. Surely it wasn't important.' He said quickly. 'Well it sounded pretty urgent to me. Is she around?' Alex gulped. 'No...,no. She's not actually.' 'Fine, I'll call her tomorrow. I'm here now,' Alex exhaled with relief, 'well thanks for nothing,' Christine said bitterly, 'when you eventually speak to him, tell him he's an arsehole.' She hung up.

Alex threw himself onto the bed and took a deep breath. His fever and illness were temporarily gone with the stress but now he felt unwell again. His mind was racing and he was desperately trying to think of ways of contacting his friend. 'Felix.' He thought suddenly and sat up in bed. Alex dialled his number and waited impatiently as it rang. 'Alex?' Felix asked half surprised, half expectantly. 'Hey,' Alex said nervously, 'is Tommy with you?' 'Are you two telepathic as well now?' Felix laughed in disbelief as he passed his phone over to Tom.

'Alex?' Alex felt relieved and lay back down in bed. 'Tommy,' he whispered tenderly, 'what the hell happened? Are you okay?' Tom took a deep breath. 'It's good to hear your voice,' he said quietly and Alex wished he wasn't ill and hundreds of miles away from him, 'how did you know I was with Felix?' He asked him surprised. 'She called me from your phone Tommy. Felix was our only common ally you could have turned to,' he paused, 'she asked me who she was.' Tom gulped. 'What did you say?' 'That I didn't know.' Tom exhaled with relief. 'That was the right thing to do. Thank you. Where the hell is she gone?' 'She was on her way to her parents'.' Tom forced a laugh. 'She totally lost it when I told her. She certainly slapped me quite hard and if you thought Em throwing a wine bottle was dramatic, you should have seen Christine. I believe not a single plate is still intact.' 'Tommy,' Alex said, 'Em has already tried to call her. She'll find out before you know it.' 'What?', Tom shouted into the phone, 'well did you try and stop her?' 'She's ignoring my calls.' Alex said calmly. 'Bloody women.' Tom grunted. Then his voice turned gentle again. 'Alex,' he whispered into the phone, 'I wish you were here.' Alex gulped and nodded. 'I know.' He mumbled quietly. 'How are you feeling?' 'Still sick.' Alex said. 'I'm sorry Christine dragged you into this. I'm sorry I put you into this situation.' 'How come you didn't tell her?' Alex asked carefully. 'I didn't get that far,' Tom explained hectically, 'she was hysterical.' 'Okay, okay,' Alex said gently, 'it'll be alright Tommy.' 'What a bloody mess.' Tom laughed exhaustedly.

The boys spoke for another hour until both managed to joke again. Tom felt better after their chat and Alex was reassured that his friend was over the worst now. He asked to speak to Felix before he said goodbye to Tom. 'Blimey, you've got a lot to talk about,' Felix laughed nervously, 'how are you doing man?', he asked him, 'Tommy is in a right state.' Alex sighed. 'I knew it would be tougher for him than he expected. Is he staying with you tonight?' 'That's the plan I think,' he laughed, 'Jesus, you know you two are so love sick, I have never seen anything like it.' Felix shouted in disbelief and Alex smiled. 'I'm glad he came to see you.' 'Yeah,' Felix hesitated, 'Tommy told me about Em and the whole Markus thing. I'm sorry man.' Alex gulped. 'It's alright. At the end of the day it's best that she knows.' He laughed tiredly. 'Tommy says he's after Emma? He's a sick idiot Alex', Felix sounded angry, 'you don't deserve this shit.' 'It's alright. He won't get her. But there's nothing I can do now. I'll just deal with it.' 'Okay. Look after yourself. I'll pass you lover boy again.' Felix said and Alex couldn't help but chuckle. His heart jumped when he heard Tom giggle too as he grabbed the phone. 'Idiot!' He laughed at Felix.

'Are you okay now?' Alex asked him gently. 'Yes,' Tom said, 'better anyway.' 'I guess you'll have to call me from other people's phones over the next few days.' 'I know!', Tom cursed but had to laugh, 'will you go to bed now?' He asked him quietly. 'Yeah well I have tried to do just that for the last three hours.' Tom chuckled again. 'Okay, I won't keep you any longer,' he tutted, 'feel better.' There was a pause. 'I love you Tommy.' Alex whispered and closed his eyes. 'Me too.' Tom said quietly and the boys eventually said goodbye to each other that night.

The next day Alex felt better. He skipped his training session but was well enough to get up at least. Anna made him breakfast and they sat down together in the kitchen. Alex told her about the previous night's events and his sister couldn't believe her ears. 'He split up as well now? Blimey you two must be serious,' she paused eating some toast, 'I wonder what the press is going to make of all this when they eventually get wind of it.' Alex shuddered as he sipped his tea. 'Don't,' he mumbled and felt panic rise in him again, 'I was thinking of going home...,' he paused and corrected himself, 'to see Em later to try and talk to her. Before she tells Christine anything,' he looked at his sister, 'why do you women always have to be so cruel?' Anna laughed out loud. 'We are cruel? Who is cheating on us in the first place?' 'This is different.' 'Yes,' Anna nodded, 'it's worse. You are playing in a different league. Em can't compete with a man.'

Alex still felt dizzy and a little weak as he got in his car and hit the road. It was another cold wintery day in Hamburg. Alex shivered from the fever and felt depressed as he drove back towards his home town. He tried to think of something positive but struggled. Even thoughts of Tom didn't cheer him up that morning as he painfully realised that their world wasn't as perfect and safe as it used to be.

As he reached the house, Alex’s heart sank. He dreaded the confrontation but was also desperate to see his son. He slowly walked towards the front door and took a deep breath before he rang the bell. Then he opened the door with his key. Alex carefully stepped into the hall and listened out for any noises. 'Hello?,' he called up into the living room, 'Em?' He slowly went upstairs. Emma was having breakfast with Max at the dinner table. She looked tired and her face was tear-ridden as she was feeding Max. 'Em?' He said again quietly and cleared his voice.

'What are you doing here?', Emma's mother had walked into the room from the kitchen. She looked at him in anger, 'get out of this house!' She shouted at him. Alex was so surprised that he couldn't move. He took a deep breath and looked at Emma, who just stared at him in disbelief. 'Em, please. I just want to talk to you for five minutes. Please.' 'You have a nerve to show up here. You are nothing but scum!', her mother shouted again, 'get out!'

'Daddy!' Max's face was beaming and Alex took deep breaths trying to swallow down his tears. 'Baby.' He whispered. He looked at Emma with begging, tearful eyes and she stopped feeding Max for a moment. 'Mum,' Emma said gently, 'it's okay. Give us five minutes.' Her mother was about to protest but then quickly walked off into Max's room, giving Alex a threatening look. Emma sighed and nodded and Alex stormed towards his son. He picked him up, cuddled and kissed him and cried into his little jumper. He looked at Emma as he was trying to get his breath back. 'Thank you.' He gulped as he took a chair and slowly sat down next to her, holding Max closely.

Emma got up and walked towards the sofas. Alex followed her with his eyes. He noticed the red wine stain still on the wall, a nasty reminder of the end of their relationship. As he inhaled Max's scent, he couldn't stop crying quietly. He smiled at him under his tears stroking his hair and cheeks and kissed him. 'He won't stop asking for you,' Emma said in a monotonous voice as she stared outside the window, 'what should I tell him Alex?' He got up and carefully tried to approach her again holding Max in his arms. He sat down opposite her and wiped the tears off his cheeks. 'I'm so sorry Em,' he whispered, 'I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I never meant to hurt you. Believe me, I am so, so sorry,' he stared at her and was physically shaking. Emma looked at him and there was something gentle in her eyes. Beyond her exhaustion and pain, there was something there that gave Alex a glimpse of hope. That she may just believe him or even understand, or at least try to, 'thank you for letting me hold him.' He said gently as he buried his nose in his son's hair again. Emma nodded briefly. 'I'm doing this for him.' She explained quickly. 'Yes I know.' Alex said and kissed his cheek smiling at him.

‘I called Christine.' She said and sounded pleased. 'I know.' Alex looked at her. 'Interesting,' she paused and crossed her arms in front of her chest, 'Christine told me she spoke to you and you clearly lied to her! Trying to protect him again, are you?' Emma sounded angry. Alex hesitated. 'When was this?' He gulped. 'This morning. She called me back.' 'Oh God.' Alex shook his head and took a deep breath. 'Oh God what?' She shouted. 'Nothing. I just didn't realise you actually told her,' Alex explained quickly, 'how did she take it?' He asked her. 'Not very well, surprisingly.' Emma said sarcastically. Alex nodded. 'You should have let Tommy explain.' He added quickly and then regretted his words straight away. 'Oh yeah?', she stood up and faced him, 'he clearly didn't have the guts after all!' 'Or the chance.' Alex mumbled. 'Or perhaps he doesn't love you as much as you think he does.' Her face was full of disgust and anger again. Alex cast his eyes down. Then he looked at her. 'It doesn't matter now,' he smiled sadly, 'you did what you thought was right. She would have found out either way.' Emma was taken aback by Alex’s calm reaction. She looked at him and sat back down. They both didn't speak for a moment. Alex kept cuddling Max and tried to lighten up his worried face by smiling at him. 'She was pretty hysterical.' Emma said quietly. Alex took a deep breath imagining the grief Tom would have to face now. 'Yeah.' He sighed and nodded.

'I'm sorry you had to hear all of this from Markus, Em. I'm not proud of myself, believe me.' Emma didn't look at him. She laughed exhaustedly. 'From him of all people Alex. There is something so creepy about him.' Alex grabbed her hand. Emma stared at him. She quickly removed it as she stood up again. 'So what's going to happen to us now?', Emma turned to him in tears, 'we're not married. I have nothing.' 'Em,' Alex got up still holding Max on his arm, 'do you really think I won't still look after you? Who cares if we're married or not. I will make sure you and Max are sorted out. You can keep the house if you want it? Or we'll sell it and I'll buy you another one. You have nothing to worry about.' He looked at her intently. 'So this is it. We really have no chance anymore?', she looked at him in tears and bit her lip in agony, 'you won't change your mind? And come back to us?' Alex felt sick. He shook his head and cast his eyes down. 'Please Em,' he gulped, 'don't make this so hard for me.' Alex looked at her and she slowly approached him. She put her arms around his waist and carefully tried to kiss him. Alex held his breath. 'I'm sorry.' He whispered and walked away. Emma stared at him in tears. 'You really love him, don't you?' Alex nodded as he was hiding his face in Max's hair again. ‘You should go now Alex.' Emma walked over and took Max on her arm. Alex felt signs of panic again. He gulped as he looked at Emma's wet face. 'Thank you again. For letting me be with you both for a bit.' He kissed the back of his son's hair and turned away before the tears started running down his face again.

'It's a shame,’ Emma said suddenly, ‘that I clearly can't make you happy like he can.' Alex turned and hugged them both kissing Emma's hair gently. 'I'm sorry.' He said again. 'I know.' She looked at him and Alex gasped at her words. He kissed her forehead and Max's cheek and smiled at her gently. 'Can I come back and visit some time soon?', he asked her anxiously, 'if your mother lets me in?' He laughed nervously. 'You're still his daddy.' She forced a smile and Alex’s face lit up. He briefly kissed her cheek. 'Thank you Em,' he slowly let go off them both, 'bye.' He kept turning around as he was walking down the stairs, waving at Max in tears.

Alex took a deep breath before he drove off. He felt weak again and was unsure whether it was the emotion or the fever. He quickly checked his phone before he hit the road and saw that he had a missed call and a voicemail from a number he didn't know. He listened to the message and cursed. 'Why did Em have to do this to him?' Alex returned Tom's call but it went straight to voicemail. 'Hey,' Alex said tenderly as the recording started, 'sorry I missed you. I went to see Em and tried to stop her from talking to Christine,' he gulped, 'but I was too late I know. I'm sorry Tommy. Call me after training okay?' He hung up.

As Alex started getting closer to the outskirts of Lübeck again, he was seriously wondering about his future. It felt like the boys had smashed up their lives around them but the relief was yet to kick in. And it would be the biggest test for their love and relationship yet.

Alex returned to an empty flat. His sister had left him a note on the kitchen table. 'Food's in the fridge. Hope you feel better. I'll be home for 7.' He smiled and checked the fridge but didn't fancy anything. He decided to go back to bed to sleep the rest of this illness off. The sooner he would be able to go back to training and get on with some of his life, the better.

Tom called him back when he was fast asleep. He jumped and quickly grabbed his phone. 'Tommy,' he mumbled half asleep as he picked up, 'you alright?' He wiped his eyes and slowly came round. 'Did I wake you up?' Tom asked gently. 'No, no,' Alex sat up in bed and held his forehead, 'it's fine, don't worry. How are you?' Tom hesitated. 'Yeah. Been better.' He laughed quietly. 'Have you got my bug?' Alex asked anxiously. Tom giggled. 'No, idiot. I have an ex-girlfriend who is going berserk.' 'Oh!' Alex nodded still wiping his eyes. 'Ex-girlfriend.' He thought. It sounded so odd. 'I'm sorry Tommy. I can't believe Em did this.' 'I can.' Tom sighed. 'What did Christine say then?' Alex asked him carefully. 'Oh just what you would expect. She howled abuse at me and promised that I'd have to pay for this.' Alex was alarmed. 'What does she mean by that?' 'Oh God knows.' 'I wish Em would have given you the chance to explain it all.' 'Hmm, yeah. It's done now though. We'll move on,' Tom paused, 'did you see Max?'

Alex told Tom about the visit and he listened attentively. 'That's great news given the circumstances,' Tom sounded relieved, 'I can imagine her mother wanting to kill you,' he giggled, 'I'll have to face the same hell.' 'She tried to kiss me.' Alex gulped. 'Really?', Tom asked surprised, 'and?' He almost held his breath. Alex was amused at his friend's anxious reaction. 'What do you think, muppet?,' Tom exhaled with relief, 'it was strange Tommy,' Alex continued, 'I…, I wasn't even tempted to kiss her,' Tom didn't say anything, 'it just shows, doesn't it?' 'Shows what?' Tom still sounded nervous. 'That I belong to you now.' Alex whispered and he could hear his friend smile. 'That sounds so awesome.' Tom said gently and if both boys had been able to see each other beaming, they would have laughed out loud.

The next few days were still tough. Alex tried to pick up the pieces of his old life. The press had got wind of him having moved out and the journalists were hungry for a good story. Alex had to confirm his separation from his girlfriend and cringed at seeing himself in all the local papers. His agent was as supportive as possible and gave him some sound advice of how to handle this crisis best.

Alex’s Facebook page was full of messages for him. Some were sad, even abusive, others supportive. He had to chuckle at some girls cheering, hoping they could be the next woman for him. He shuddered. As he was surfing the internet, he even spotted an article linking Alex’s and Tom's relationship breakdowns. 'Old friends and ex-team colleagues both decide to move on.' He sent the link to Tom, who thought it was amusing.

At least the cold had finally gone and the cut in his hand had healed and Alex could focus on his work again. He’d been staying at his sister's house since the break-up but had briefed his agent to start looking for houses around Hamburg for him.

Similarly, Tom tried to cope with the new circumstances as well as he possibly could. He was living between Felix's and Kai's flats whilst he got an apartment sorted. The press didn't give him less of a hard time. He had to go through the same amount of questions about his relationship breakdown. Just like Alex, he tried to focus the journalists more on his ability to play football and his objectives and performance with his club for the rest of the season than his split from Christine.

Over the next couple of weeks the boys called each other several times a day. They went through ups and downs together. Sometimes it was Tom who could hardly face getting out of bed, other times Alex was in tears missing Max so much that he didn't know how to handle it all. Either way, they continued to support each other and promised one another that they would get through this. No matter what.

After a month Alex and Tom had finally made some progress. They had both found somewhere to live and excitedly shared pictures of their newly purchased accommodation with each other over the phone and the web.

Alex had bought a large house in the countryside outside of Hamburg. Inspired by Tom's house in Austria, Alex now also had a pool and gym area built into it. He had Max's room set up as a priority hoping Emma would let him stay every once in a while and was feeling content imagining Tom in his new home whenever he would be able to visit.

Tom had opted for the complete opposite. He had bought a luxurious penthouse apartment in the middle of Dortmund overlooking the whole city. He was showing Alex the view on Skype and Alex gave his friend a sneak preview of the new kitchen he had bought only according to Tom's taste.

It felt things were finally on the up again and it would now only take another few weeks until the last international friendly matches before the World Cup were scheduled when the boys would finally be able to see each other again.

One Tuesday morning Alex was on his way to training. He had got used to the new route to his club and he was in a good mood. Despite the last few weeks of mayhem he had managed to focus on his career and his performance had actually improved. He had scored in every match and was almost surprised himself.

As he was lost in thought his mobile rang and Emma's number came up. 'Hi Em,' he said gently as he picked up, 'how are you?' 'Hey,' she whispered quietly, 'I'm fine…, fine', she sounded hesitant, 'you?' 'Yeah I'm alright. How is Max?' He gulped. 'Missing his daddy.' She said and Alex’s heart sank. 'Can I do anything? Do you need anything?' He asked quickly. 'I'm calling because I'm worried Alex.' She sounded anxious all of a sudden. 'Why?', Alex was alert straight away, 'are you alright? Is something wrong with Max?' He asked hectically. 'No, no, we're fine,' she took a deep breath, 'I spoke to Christine just now. She called me because she wanted me to team up with her.' Alex was confused. 'What? What the hell does that mean?' Emma was hesitant again. 'What do you think it means?' 'I honestly don't know what you’re talking about.' Alex was getting stressed. 'To sell our story Alex.'

'Oh,' Alex was breathing harder as it started to sink in, 'of course. The betrayed girlfriends. Dumped by gay footballer couple. Yes that is probably going to make you millions as an exclusive story.' He laughed bitterly. He had to pull into a car park and stop the car. 'Okay,' he turned cold and was full of suspicion, 'what do you want? More money? I'll give you anything,' he said hectically, 'anything. Please Em, don't do this.' 'Will you listen to me you imbecile,' she was getting angry, 'I'm warning you about this. I'm not part of this idea. I told her that she was going too far and that she was risking Tommy's and your professional lives,' Alex listened silently in shock, 'but I'm afraid she will sell the story anyway and get her dosh. I told her to leave you out of this.' 'Oh God, but what about Tommy?' He could hardly speak. 'I can't help him,' she said and sounded distant, 'she's got it all organised. You won't change her mind, believe me I've tried.' 'Perhaps Tommy can pay her off,' he mumbled, 'perhaps if they talked again, she won't...' 'Forget it Alex,' Emma interrupted him, 'she can't wait for the revenge and to see him suffer for what he has done to her. It's not just the money.' Alex was speechless. His heart was racing. 'How come you didn't join in?' He asked almost sarcastically. 'Because I have a child who will have to live with this for the rest of his life if I did.' She shouted at him. 'I'm sorry Em,' Alex said quickly, 'I didn't mean to...' 'Hurt me?', she interrupted him again. She laughed, 'yes you sound like a broken record!', Alex bit his lip, 'anyway,' she sighed, 'I felt like it was only fair that you know.' 'Thank you,' Alex whispered as the full horror started to sink in, 'thank you Em.' She hung up.

It had started to rain and the drops gently drummed onto the roof and against the windows of Alex’s car. All he could hear was this gentle sound as he just sat and stared in shock. He took deep breaths as he tried to calm down before he rang his friend.

'Hey,' Tom cheerfully picked up the phone, 'I was just about to call you to say hello,' he laughed, 'you alright? Bit late for training, hmm?' He giggled. Alex had closed his eyes listening to his friend's happy voice. He didn't say anything. 'Alex?', Tom asked unsure, 'what's going on?' 'Tommy.' Alex gulped. 'Alex, what happened?', Tom was full of concern straight away, 'are you alright?', Alex gasped for air, 'Jesus, just tell me. Don't do this again, now come on.' 'You have to speak to Christine.' Alex forced his words out and took a deep breath again. 'Christine?', Tom sounded confused, 'why the hell would I do that?' 'Because she is about to destroy your career Tommy,' Alex gasped for air again, 'she is selling her story to the press. She'll tell them Tommy,' Alex shook his head, 'she'll tell them everything.'

Tom didn't say anything at first. Alex could hear him breathing harder with stress. 'What,' Tom mumbled in shock, 'what did you just say?' 'Em just called me. Apparently Christine wanted to team up with her, get us both busted and them sorted for life,' Alex explained quickly now, 'Em called me to warn us. She didn't want anything to do with it,' Alex bit his lip, 'Tommy, you have to call her. No, you have to go and see her. You have to stop her. Pay her off, I don't know. Just something,' he felt desperate and helpless, 'Tommy?' 'Yes,' Tom said slowly and quietly, 'yes, I'm listening.' 'Do you think you can change her mind somehow?', Tom had gone quiet again, 'Tommy, say something please.' 'I, I...,' Tom stammered, 'I don't know,' he took a deep breath, 'my God. I never thought she'd be capable of this.' He whispered. 'Call her. Now,' Alex urged him, 'Tommy.' 'Yes, yes. I'll call her now.' 'Let me know once you have spoken to her. Will you?', there was silence again, 'will you?' Alex pushed him. 'Yes.' Tom sounded emotionless. Without saying it, both boys knew that yet another nightmare was about to begin.

Alex couldn't concentrate on his training all day and was glad when the session was over. He quickly checked his phone but hadn't had any calls from Tom. Back in his house he was feeling anxious and stressed. All he wanted to do was jump on the next plane to Dortmund. As he made himself dinner he was desperately considering his options. Waiting for his friend's call was the worst. In the end he just decided to call him instead.

'Come on, come on. Pick up,' he said hectically to himself rubbing his forehead as he heard the phone ring. Then finally he heard his voice,
'Tommy,' he almost shouted into the phone, 'what happened? Did you manage to speak to her?' There was a long pause. 'It's over Alex,' Tom sounded calm, almost too calm, 'I can't stop her. It's a done deal. That's it.' Alex stared quietly in shock. 'But, but...,' he was looking for words,' 'but why?' He asked with despair in his voice. 'Revenge. Some sort of penalty,' Tom said quietly, 'I've offered her everything. Half of my money, now and forever if needs be. But she wasn't interested. She wants to see me suffer,' he laughed, 'you were right all along. You thought she might go to the press. And I didn't want to believe it.'

'Where are you right now?' Alex gulped. 'At home.' 'You've been drinking.' 'Only a couple of beers.' Alex was worried and alarmed. Tom had more than that, he knew him, he could tell. 'Didn't you feel like talking to me?' He asked him carefully. Tom laughed sadly. 'I'm sitting in a dark flat Alex. I can't face talking to anyone. I'm about to lose everything,' he paused, 'I'm finished.' 'Tommy,' Alex said hectically, 'you are not finished. She will not win this. You are a true star, a genius footballer. People love you and they will continue to do that,' Alex paused, 'and besides, you will never lose me.' Tom laughed in despair again. The boys didn't speak for a moment.

'If you were just here,' Tom said more to himself and sighed, 'things would be a bit easier.' Alex listened to him in agony. 'Sod this God forsaken club.' He thought suddenly. 'I will be there.' Alex said assertively. 'What?' Tom mumbled absently. 'I'll take the first plane to Cologne tomorrow. I'll be there by midday.' 'What? You can't, you've got to go to training.' 'I don't care about training.' Alex gulped. 'Alex, you can't do that. The press will get suspicious of you being with me just as this bloody story is about to break!' 'Tommy, we're in this together. You need me right now and I want to be there for you,' Tom didn't say anything, 'you would do the same for me. I know you would.' 'Alex,' Tom sighed, 'this could be risky for you.' 'You don't understand. You're all I have,' Alex said and almost got emotional again, 'I've made up my mind anyway.' He said quickly. 'Really?' Tom asked with a sad smile. 'Yes. Really.' Alex whispered and gently kissed his friend goodnight over the phone.

Chapter 7

It was only just starting to get light when the plane took off from Hamburg airport heading towards Cologne. Alex sat in first class and watched the Elbe slowly disappear under the clouds. He was evidently recognised by his fans and was trying to give as many autographs as possible.

Once he had arrived, he called his agent and manager and explained that he could not come to training for the rest of the week as Tom would need his support and he had already flown to Cologne. They were outraged and his manager wasn't looking forward to explaining his absence from training to the press. Alex committed to being back in Hamburg for the match on Saturday. He was aware that he caused problems at his club with such erratic behaviour but he didn't care as long as Tom was going to be alright.

He decided to rent a car for the next few days. He chose the best and fastest model they had available and hit the motorway towards Dortmund. Tom had called in sick from training that morning in anticipation of the story breaking imminently. Alex headed straight to his new flat in the city centre. His heart was racing as he ran up the flights of stairs, all the way up to Tom's penthouse suite. He rang the bell and knocked on the door as well.

Tom opened and stared at him before he fell into his arms. He hugged and squeezed Alex and pulled him into his flat, quickly closing the door behind them. 'Hey,' Alex stroked his cheeks and kissed him. Tom jumped and wrapped his legs around Alex’s hips as he kept hugging him. The boys couldn't stop kissing each other.

Alex slowly carried his friend further into what he assumed would have to be the lounge and gently sat him down on the sofa. Tom studied his face as he softly ran his finger over his nose, mouth and cheeks. 'You're here,' he whispered, 'you're really here. You're crazy!' He laughed and Alex hugged him again. 'How are you?' He asked him and gently stroked his hair. Tom smiled at him. 'Better now,' they looked into each other's eyes, 'you must be in so much trouble.' Tom said and shook his head. 'Oh, you know I'm used to it now. Sod them all.' Alex grinned and Tom chuckled again.

Alex took a moment to look around. 'Nice flat Mr Stiller.' He whistled admiring the apartment. Tom followed his eyes. 'Yeah,' he sighed, 'I was hoping I could show you under different circumstances.' Alex nodded. 'When is this story going to break?' 'Tomorrow I think,' Tom cast his eyes down, 'I'm frightened Alex.' He said quietly. Alex pulled up his chin and kissed him lovingly. 'Don't be. I'm here now. I've told them I'll stay till Saturday. I had to commit to be back for the match though.' 'You're staying that long?' Tom's eyes lit up. Alex looked at him in surprise. 'Of course you muppet. What do you think?' Tom had to laugh again.

Alex looked at his friend and felt so madly in love with him, he couldn't have found the words to describe his feelings even if he had tried to. 'Tommy,' he slowly let his hands slip under his friend's jumper, 'why don't you give me a tour of your flat,' he kissed him, 'I'm particularly interested in the bedroom,' he picked him up and carried him across the flat again and Tom put up a struggle giggling being carried around, 'what have we got here?', Alex said as he entered Tom's bedroom, 'this looks like just the room I'm after.' He threw Tom onto the bed. His friend was chuckling with laughter and Alex lay down on top of him stroking his body. 'It's so good to see you.' Tom said and beamed at him lovingly before he closed his eyes and let Alex tenderly kiss and stroke his worries away. Just for a moment that morning, Alex managed to make Tom forget about everything.

They had gently dozed off together and Alex jumped and sat up as he realised he'd been asleep. He looked around the bedroom and let himself fall back onto the cushion. It was such a beautiful room. Light and airy, the bed was huge and so comfortable. He stretched and turned towards Tom, who had his back to him as he was still asleep on his side. His gentle breathing made Alex smile. He kissed his shoulder and cheek and turned him towards him. 'Alex.' Tom mumbled half asleep still and put his arms around his neck. Alex kissed him gently and let his hands run up and down his naked back. Tom slowly opened his eyes and smiled at him sleepily.

'Hey,' Alex whispered, 'are you feeling better now?', he grinned cheekily and Tom slapped him against the chest, 'ouch.' Alex giggled. 'What time is it?' Tom stretched and wiped his eyes. 'Almost 1 pm.' 'Ah dammit,' Tom sighed, 'I have to warn my family before this story breaks,' his face turned serious, 'they have no idea Alex. My dad will kill me.' He gulped and closed his eyes. Alex nodded and stroked his hair. 'Okay,' he said, 'let's go then.' Tom looked at him. 'What?' He forced a laugh. 'I said let's go. About time you introduce me to your parents as your boyfriend,' he touched his nose, 'don't you think? I mean, we're quite serious and all that.' 'Have you lost your mind completely now?', Tom asked in disbelief. Alex grinned, 'they'll kill you. I come from the most catholic family, you know what they're like,' Tom shook his head, 'with a bit of luck my brother may just hear me out. It'll be messy Alex.' Alex kissed him again. It was a long and gentle kiss. 'I can do messy quite well myself now. Loads of practice over the last few weeks.' Tom smiled shyly and held his friend's head. 'You're crazy.' 'Yeah,' Alex nodded, 'crazy about you.'

The boys got ready to drive out towards Cologne to see Tom's parents and brother Marco. Tom was pale and nervous and Alex didn't feel his friend was in a state to drive so they went in his hire car instead. He tried to distract him throughout their short car journey but the closer they got, the more quiet Tom became.

Once they had arrived, Alex put his arm around his shoulders and looked at him seriously. 'Tommy,’ he said, 'they're your parents, they will understand.' Tom laughed and shook his head. 'I hope you're right but I'm afraid I'm not so sure,' he gulped, 'are you certain you want to come in with me?' He looked at him unsure. 'I will do whatever you want me to do.' Alex stroked his thigh. 'Then I'd like you to come.' Tom reached for his hand and cast his eyes down. Alex nodded and kissed him briefly. 'Let's go then.'

'Tommy, darling!', his mother opened the door and fell into his arms, 'I haven't seen you for so long. You look great!' She beamed at him. 'Hi mum,' Tom smiled nervously and gulped, 'I..., I have brought Alex along. You..., you remember Alex from my time in Hamburg, don't you?' She laughed and hugged Alex. 'Yes, yes of course. Your best friend! Come on in,' she waved the boys in and Alex closed the door behind him, 'I had to bake a cake when you said you and your brother would both be coming over. You will eat some chocolate cake, won't you?', Tom looked uncomfortable but tried to keep smiling, 'or are you not allowed to?' She looked worried. 'No, mum, we can have some cake. It's fine.' Tom nervously rubbed his forehead. 'Yeah I'd certainly love some of your cake Mrs Stiller.' Alex said and grinned at her trying to help Tom relax a bit.

'Tommy,' Marco came out of the lounge and hugged him, 'you alright man? I took the afternoon off for you, sounds like you've got quite an announcement to make!' He winked at him giggling. 'Hey Marco,' Tom took a deep breath, 'yeah thanks for taking the time. It is quite important.' Marco gave Alex a pat on the back. 'Are you alright, Alex, man? Nice to see you again. Your club’s still in a bit of a muddle without Tommy, hey? Not as far up the league as we are, shall we say?' He chuckled and Alex laughed.

'Why are you all standing in the hall, come on through, come on let's sit down and have some coffee and cake.' His mum cheered and waved them all through into the living room. 'Hey dad.' Tom walked towards his father, who sat in a big armchair reading the paper. He looked up over his glasses and smiled at him. 'Hello son,' he slowly stood up and gave him a hug, 'nice to see you. Feels like quite a special occasion these days. You're so busy usually.' He smiled at him with gentle eyes. 'Dad, do you remember Alex?' Tom said nervously, pointing at Alex with his hand as he waved him closer. 'Yes sure,' his father shook Alex’s hand, 'how are you doing in Hamburg these days?' 'Hi Mr Stiller. Yeah, could be better.' Alex smiled and scratched the back of his head.

As they all took their seats around the impeccably set up coffee table Tom gave Alex a worried look. Alex noticed how pale he was. He nodded at him encouragingly and Tom took a deep breath as he sat down. The family was relaxed and chatted about the latest family gossip and news and Tom's mother was serving everyone huge slices of chocolate cake. Tom became more and more quiet and Alex was getting worried for his friend. He looked at him intently across the table and felt increasingly helpless as he watched him slouch more and more.

'Anyway, enough of other people,' Marco said cheerfully and nudged Tom's elbow, 'we're all here to hear your news today. So, little brother, what's the occasion?’ He smiled at him cheekily. 'Erm.' Tom muttered caught out by the directness of Marco's question. 'Can I guess?', his mother asked and clapped her hands together in excitement. Tom stared at his mum, 'you have finally made up with Christine and asked her to marry you and she said yes,' her eyes lit up and she looked at him in anticipation, 'am I right?' Alex stared at Tom, who was frozen at the table. His friend took a deep breath as the whole family's eyes were on him, waiting for him to answer. 'No, mum.' He finally said quietly and shook his head. 'Oh...,' his mother sounded disappointed and embarrassed, 'oh, oh well.' She said quickly and forced a laugh. 'So what is it then?' Marco asked impatiently now. Tom closed his eyes as he was collating his thoughts. 'I'm afraid it's not going to be the type of news that you will necessarily like.' He gulped as he looked at his family. 'Well, you've got us worried now. Tell us son.' His father said assertively now.

'Christine and I won't get back together.' Tom said quietly. 'Oh but why darling?', his mother sounded disappointed, 'she is such a lovely girl, you were the perfect match!' 'Mum!', Marco interrupted her, 'let Tommy finish.' He gave her a look. Tom took a deep breath. He gazed at Alex, who nodded at him again. Tom understood and smiled. 'Because I'm in love with someone else.' He wouldn't take his eyes off his friend as he spoke and despite the desperate situation Alex’s heart jumped at his words. 'You've got a new girlfriend?', his mother asked in disbelief, 'who?' 'Mum!' Marco said again but he looked stressed now. He had clocked how Tom's and Alex’s eyes were locked across the table. 'No, it can't be...,' Marco whispered in shock and jumped up, 'tell me this isn't true!' He shouted at Tom. 'Marco, what is going on?', their mother stood up as well and looked worried, 'Tom?' She gave him a warning look.

'Can't you see?', Marco pointed at the two boys, 'he's gay!' He shouted. It was only then Tom cast his eyes down. 'What?', his father said in disbelief, 'tell us this is a bad joke son.' Tom looked up at him with tears in his eyes. 'I'm sorry dad.' He bit his lip as the tears started rolling down his cheeks. Alex had to control himself not to jump up and hug him. Tom's mum sat down at the table in shock. 'Gay?', she whispered and her breathing turned harder, 'but…, but…,' she looked at him in panic, 'but this can't be.' She muttered. 'Why mum?' Tom asked quietly. 'Do you realise that this is a sin and will get you into hell for sure?' 'Mum,' Tom held his head in despair, 'no-one is going to hell.'

'Is this his fault?' Marco asked Tom the question and pointed at Alex. 'What?' Tom forced a laugh. 'You're with him, yeah?', Marco nodded in disgust, 'you have a nerve man to bring him into this house,' Tom stared at him in tears, 'did you think we welcome your new boyfriend to our family? Huh?' Marco shouted at him. Alex started feeling uncomfortable and out of place as Tom's parents were now both staring at him. 'Get out,' Tom's father stood up and looked at Alex, 'you're not welcome in this house.' 'Dad!' Tom jumped up and looked at him. 'No Tom, you will not see this boy again.' 'What?' Tom almost laughed. 'We can fix this illness you have and get you back on track. But until then you will not have any contact with him whatsoever.' 'What illness?', Tom shook his head at his father's words, 'I'm not ill. And this isn't Alex’s fault.' He shouted. 'Get out!' His father said again.

Alex got up and started walking backwards towards the lounge door. 'Dad,' Tom urged him, 'you can't talk to him like this. Please. He's my...,' he hesitated, 'he's my friend.' He said finally. 'It's okay Tommy,' Alex gulped at the threatening looks around him, 'I'll go for a walk,' he was breathing hard, 'hmm. Okay?', he nodded at Tom, 'I won't be far.' Tom stared at him. 'Okay.' He whispered apologetically. 'I would run as far as I could if I were you,' Marco was shouting at Alex again, 'you are ruining everything for him.' Tom shook his head and ran his hands over his face. 'The only ones ruining everything are people like you!' Tom shouted at his brother.

Alex shivered as he closed the front door behind him. He started walking across the fields close by their family house and imagined what a happy childhood Tom would have had here. So much open space to mess around and play in after school. No wonder he had felt homesick in Hamburg. After half an hour of strolling aimlessly, Alex felt chilly and headed back to the house. His heart sank as he got closer and he hoped Tom would be alright. He didn't dare ring the doorbell so he sat down outside on a step waiting for Tom to come and find him.

Then suddenly the front door opened. Alex had expected Tom to walk out but instead he watched in surprise as Marco stormed straight towards him with an angry look on his face. 'Did you not listen to what I said earlier?' He screamed at him and Alex jumped up feeling scared. 'Marco!' Alex saw Tom shout and run out of the house after him but he couldn't get to his brother in time. Before Alex could even react, Marco had grabbed him and punched him in the stomach. Alex gasped and moaned as he bowed forward in pain. 'No! Marco, stop it!' Tom screamed at his brother as Marco punched Alex again, so hard this time that Alex collapsed onto his knees and curled up on the floor. He was caught so off guard that he wasn't even able to defend himself. Tom managed to pull his brother away from Alex before he could hit him again.

The next thing Alex knew was Tom kneeling beside him on the floor holding his head. 'Alex.' He whispered in panic stroking his cheeks gently. Then he turned around to his brother angrily. 'You bastard,' he shouted in tears of anger, 'what have you done to him?' 'He's filth Tommy. He's destroying everything for you, everything! If it wasn't for him, you'd still be with Christine and not all over the press as a gay footballer! You are such an idiot!' His brother was furious. He was racing up and down in front of their parents' house breathing hard. Alex stared at him still lying on his side and then looked at Tom, who wouldn't stop stroking his hair. 'You are the idiot,' Tom spat through his teeth as he turned to his brother again, 'it's hardly Alex’s fault that I'm gay, is it?'

Angered by Tom's words, Marco made another attempt to attack and walked over to them. He was cursing at Alex but Tom held him in his arms protectively. 'No,' he gave his brother a threatening look, 'don't you dare hurt him again,' Alex was still breathing hard with pain, 'go back inside. Leave us alone Marco.' Tom said in disgust. 'You will go back with him?' Marco asked in disbelief. Tom didn't say anything and instead tried to help Alex get up. 'Come on,' he said encouragingly and started pulling his friend up carefully. Alex moaned quietly and Tom kissed his cheek in empathy, 'are you okay?' He asked him nervously and Alex nodded. 'Disgusting.' Marco said as he watched the boys. 'Where are the car keys, Alex, I'm driving us home.' Tom asked hectically and Alex slowly pulled them out of his pocket.

'Tommy,' Marco said warningly, 'if you leave with him now, you are choosing him over your own family, your own blood.' Tom stared at him but kept supporting Alex as they slowly walked to the car. 'We have done nothing wrong Marco. If you can't accept that I love him then I can't help you. Or mum and dad,' he paused, 'I had hoped you would understand at least,' Tom started crying, 'and I'm sorry you have proved me so wrong.' Marco bit his lip and tears started rolling down his cheeks. He had nothing to say to that in return.

Tom gently helped Alex sit down in the passenger seat and stroked his hair again as his friend was taking deep breaths. 'It's okay. I'll take you home now.' Tom kissed his forehead after he had secured the seatbelt and then closed the passenger door. He didn't look back at his brother as he got into the car and drove off at full speed. With Marco staring after them.

Alex didn't know what to say. He watched Tom as he drove them both home as fast as he could. His friend kept crying quietly, trying to wipe the tears off his cheeks at the same time. Alex was still in shock about the fact he had actually been punched and while his stomach was still hurting, the pain thankfully wasn't as strong anymore. He stroked Tom's thigh gently. Tom reacted immediately and took his hand and kissed it again and again. Alex could feel his friend's wet tears on the back of his hand. 'Hey,' he smiled at him, 'pretty shit day, huh?' He said quietly and Tom laughed. 'You could say that.'

Once they had arrived at home, Tom shut the front door behind them in relief and helped Alex sit down on the sofa. 'Top off.' He demanded as he walked into the kitchen. 'Excuse me, that's a bit forward, don't you think?' Alex giggled and then winced again in pain. Tom came back into the lounge with a bucket of ice and a towel. He watched Alex struggle with his jumper and smiled sadly. 'Come on, let me help you,' he said gently and kneeled down in front of him, 'arms up.' Alex stretched his arms in the air as far as he could. Tom carefully pulled his jumper up over his head and placed the ice cubes into the towel.

As he was about to cool Alex’s stomach, he stopped short looking at him. Alex gently stroked his cheeks and kissed him lovingly as Tom put his arms around his neck, relishing his kiss. Alex smiled shyly. 'I was worried for a bit you'd listen to your dad,' Tom looked at him, unsure as to what he meant, 'you know. Not to see me again.' Tom tutted and shook his head. 'Lie down Alex.' He gently pressed the towel onto Alex’s stomach as he lay down flat on his back. Alex moaned briefly in pain. 'Did I hurt you?', Tom stopped and looked concerned. Alex smiled at him and started stroking his hair. He shook his head gazing at him, 'this is going to bruise Alex. I'm not even sure if you can play on Saturday now.' Tom sounded stressed but Alex didn't care about this injury. 'Thank you for looking after me.' Tom looked at him. 'I'm so sorry Alex,' he said quietly as he kept cooling his friend's upper body, 'they haven't understood anything. And to make you the culprit for all of this,' he shook his head and sighed, 'I blame myself. I should have not taken you with me. It was irresponsible and stupid of me.' 'Hey,' Alex grabbed his head and kissed him again, 'it's okay. Give them some time. Hmm?’ He stroked his cheeks and Tom rested his forehead against his'. Alex kissed and hugged him tightly. 'I can't believe he beat you up.' Tom said angrily and pressed the towel onto Alex’s stomach again. 'Twice as well!' Alex giggled but then winced again as he remembered that laughing actually hurt. Tom stroked his hair and looked at him lovingly. 'If they could just see.' He whispered. 'See what?' Alex asked him. 'How happy you make me.' Tom said and smiled as he kissed him again.

It had snowed overnight and Dortmund was braced for another bitterly cold winter day. Tom struggled to get any sleep. He kept getting up and turning the television on in the lounge and then switching it back off again. Alex registered Tom's restlessness and held him whenever he crawled back into bed and made another attempt to get some rest.

It was early morning when Alex woke up and noticed Tom was in the lounge again. He sleepily ran his hands over his face and was about to get out of bed when he almost screamed in pain. He tried to carefully sit up and checked his stomach, which had already started bruising. Very gently he managed to manoeuvre himself out of bed, threw one of Tom's dressing gowns on and joined him in the lounge.

He found Tom curled up in a blanket on the sofa watching a boxing fight in the States on television. He had a huge mug of tea in front of him and held the remote control as if it was a magic stick. Alex carefully sat down next to him and put Tom's legs on his lap. 'I didn't realise I snored so much that you felt banned to the sofa in your own home,' Alex stroked his thighs and Tom laughed, 'it's 5 in the morning Tommy. Don't you want to try and sleep a bit longer?' Alex asked him quietly. Tom sighed and shook his head. 'I've tried. I can't.' He turned off the television and stood up, slowly making his way towards the window. Alex watched him stare outside. He wanted to get up and join him but moved too fast and this time he did scream in pain.

'Alex?' Tom hectically turned around and stormed back towards the sofa. He sat next to him and held his head. 'I'm okay, I'm alright. It's... nothing.' Alex smiled at his friend but was breathing hard. Tom gave him a look. He gently opened Alex’s dressing gown and stared at his bruise. 'Oh man,' Tom was shaking his head, 'I'll never forgive him for that.' Alex looked into his sad eyes and stroked his hair. 'It'll heal,' Alex said and smiled again. Tom threw his arms around his friend and hugged him tightly taking deep breaths. Alex kissed his cheek, 'everything will be alright Tommy,' he looked into his eyes, 'I promise you.' Tom smiled at him nervously. 'I'm so glad you're here.' He gasped for air.

'Who knows about this story?' Alex asked him carefully. 'My agent, Felix and Kai,' Tom gulped, 'and now my family.' He forced a laugh and ran his hand over his hair.' Alex looked at him. 'So your manager will find out today as the story breaks?' 'Yeah. Although Felix was going to warn them yesterday that something big is about to happen.' He gulped again. 'What about Winter?' Alex asked him. 'Oh yes, I did talk to him. He was great actually.' Tom nodded and smiled. 'Well, and as for the rest, let's hope Kai keeps his big mouth shut this time, ey?' Alex mumbled and Tom nudged his thigh. 'Still jealous?' He asked with a cheeky smile. Alex laughed defensively and embarrassed. 'He's not the same league as me!' He grunted and Tom kissed him lovingly. 'Well remembered.' He giggled.

Tom's mobile rang and the boys both saw Felix's number come up. 'Someone else is up early.' Alex mumbled and made his way into the kitchen to make some more tea whilst Tom answered his phone. He sighed as he was putting some hot water on to boil and rummaged through the cupboards looking for a mug. It would be such a tough day for Tom. Alex knew he would never forgive Christine for this hell she was about to throw Tom into.

Whilst he had been making tea, Tom got dressed and joined him in the kitchen. He hugged him from behind. Alex turned around and checked his face. He noticed again how pale and stressed he looked. 'What's the plan then?' He asked him. 'Felix and Kai will come here in about twenty minutes or so. With the newspaper,' Tom gulped, 'then we'll just sit here and wait. For something I guess.' Alex nodded and picked up his tea. 'And how long will you hide in here for?' He asked and sipped his drink. Tom shrugged his shoulders. 'Stefan said to give it 24 hours in hiding initially and then face the press with a statement the next day.' Stefan had been Tom's agent for years and Alex knew him well. 'I'm assuming he'll write that statement for you?' Alex asked him and Tom nodded.

Alex took his tea and Tom's hand and led him back to the sofa. They sat down and Alex carefully pulled Tom onto his lap. He had both arms wrapped tightly around his upper body as Tom rested his head against his'. 'Have you thought about denying it all?', Alex asked quietly, 'Christine has no proof and you could argue she is trying to drop you in it because you dumped her.' Tom nodded. 'I have thought about it,' he stroked his friend's hand, 'but there is always Markus to then pipe up, let's not forget. He'd relish the revenge. But also, if I lie now, then I will never ever be able to...,' he hesitated and looked at Alex, 'be in a gay relationship openly. I might as well bite the bullet now.' He laughed bitterly. Alex pensively took his hand. 'You're very brave.' He said and Tom smiled at him. 'Only because I know there is someone worth being brave for.'

The boys both jumped when the doorbell rang. Tom stood up and quickly let Felix and Kai into his flat. They hugged him, patting him on the back as they handed him a copy of the newspaper. 'How bad is it?' Tom asked hectically grabbing the paper. 'Pretty bad,' Felix said as he walked towards Alex to say hello to him, 'front page and headline news of the national tabloid newspaper is a pretty good effort.' Alex shook Felix's and Kai's hands. Tom sat down next to Alex as he was scan reading the article with a frown and the other boys read over his shoulder.

'She mentions you,' Tom said to Alex in panic, 'not explicitly, but she might bloody well have done,' he read the paragraph out loud, 'he cheated on me with one of his best friends, who plays for a different league club but also plays for Germany. I will not mention his name to protect his family, who, like me, also will have to live with this shame every day,' Tom stared at his friend and was breathing hard. Alex’s heart started racing. Tom was right, his identity was pretty obvious, 'she promised me, she swore to me, she would not mention anything about you.' Tom added hectically. 'Tommy, chill out,' Felix said calmly as he took the newspaper off him to continue to read the article, 'you have many friends in the German team who play in different clubs.' Tom jumped up and faced the boys. 'She is calling him my best friend, there aren't that many.' Tom grunted frustratedly. 'With all sympathy for Alex, it's more you we should worry about at the moment.' Kai said and stood up to try and calm him down. 'You don't understand,' Tom was pacing up and down the room, 'Alex couldn't warn his family, his friends, his agent. We thought it would be about me. And only about me. This changes everything!', he looked at Alex, who just stared, 'Alex,' he sat down next to him and put his arms around his shoulders. 'I will just deny that whole bit. I will protect you, I swear,' he said almost desperately, 'I'll get Stefan to add it to the statement. We will declare it as ridiculous and utter nonsense, okay?', Alex looked at him, 'okay?' Tom asked him again.

Alex slowly stood up and grimaced in pain again. He walked to the window, where Tom was stood earlier, and watched the snow still falling heavily outside. The boys stared at him silently. Alex’s mind was racing as he was considering what to do. Then he turned around and looked at Tom.
'No,' he said quietly and smiled at his friend, 'I won't let you deny it.' Tom frowned at him in disbelief. 'What?', he muttered, 'Alex, are you insane? Think of your family, think of your career. I'm not letting you go through this! There is no way.' Alex sat down next to him again. He took his hands and looked into his shocked eyes. They had both forgotten about Kai and Felix staring at them. 'You know,' Alex smiled, 'I happen to also have someone who it's worth being brave for.' Tom shook his head in disbelief. 'You do realise that there is no turning back afterwards.' He gulped and looked at him seriously. Alex just silently smiled at Tom, who cursed, and then grabbed his head and kissed him.

'Love sick puppies.' Felix sighed and walked into the kitchen to make him and Kai some tea as well. 'Love sick idiots more like,' Kai shook his head, 'I still think you should both just deny it all. For God's sake, your careers are at stake here.' 'There is no point,' Tom said exhaustedly as he was clutching Alex’s hand, 'now the spotlight is on me it's better I'm honest than lie and then someone will talk anyway. Like our friend Markus, for example,' Tom kissed Alex’s cheek, 'but you could still get out of this. If you want to.' Alex shook his head determinedly. 'No Tommy, I would have to stay away from you. And I can't.' Tom hugged him. 'You idiot.' He whispered in his ear and kissed him again. Kai was watching them in despair. 'Yep, definitely love sick. And totally insane.' He stood up and joined Felix in the kitchen.

Tom looked at Alex intently. 'You have to tell Em, your sister, your parents, your agent, Alex, we have no time to prepare for any of this. The story is already out there.' He sounded stressed. Alex nodded and kissed him. 'I think I'll make a few phone calls this morning, hmm?' He said and smiled. 'I really thought I had managed to protect you,' Tom shook his head, 'she promised me, she swore it Alex.' 'Shh,' Alex stroked his cheeks, 'it doesn't matter now. We'll have to just deal with it. But not by lying. I don't want to deny what we have. It just feels so wrong,' Tom looked at him and smiled sadly. Alex took a deep breath, 'time for the world to sit up and listen. And just accept it. They won't bring us down. Not us.' Alex said defiantly. Tom laughed and hugged his friend tightly. 'Thank you.' He quietly whispered into his ear.

Felix came back into the lounge and switched the television on. 'Okay,' he said and threw himself onto the sofa next to Tom, 'let's see how fast it's been spreading. Kai, get the laptop fired up, will you?' The boys watched silently in shock as most news channels and websites mentioned the exclusive story in the paper. It was the same headlines and reports everywhere.

'Good morning ladies and gentlemen. One of the national tabloid newspapers published an exclusive story this morning by Christine Koch, actress and ex-girlfriend of football star Tom Stiller, which reveals that the footballer has allegedly been having a homosexual relationship with another unnamed team colleague for months, which had allegedly led to the couple's break up earlier this month. The football star himself has not commented on the allegations yet. We will of course keep you up-to-date on any developments.'

Alex held Tom's hand as Felix was flicking through the channels and Kai gave updates from the web. 'All the big news sites have picked up on it in their top three news articles,' he shook his head, 'your Facebook page looks rather busy too,' he frowned as he was scanning the posts, ‘and not too friendly either.’ Tom was breathing hard with stress. Alex put one arm around him and tried to keep him calm. Felix jumped up and went onto the balcony to check what was happening down on the street. He quickly ran back inside and shut the balcony door behind him. 'Bloody hell, it's freezing! Tommy, I can see quite a few news vans out there already.' Tom nodded and the boys exchanged anxious looks.

In the course of the morning, Tom's mobile became a hotline for his agent and his managers as they agreed an action plan for the day. Alex also spent his morning on the phone in Tom's bedroom. He called Emma first of all and explained that he would reveal his identity given the whole world could guess it anyway. She cried and tried to change his mind for Max's sake but Alex stuck by his decision. He then rang his sister, who had already been stressed about the story all morning. When he explained his position to her, she was terrified. 'Have you lost your mind?', Anna screamed into the phone, 'that is irresponsible of you! Have you just for one second thought of Max or our poor parents?' Alex took a deep breath. 'Of course I have,' he tried to stay calm, 'I have no choice Anna. Tommy and I are in this together. I might as well take responsibility, it's pretty much obvious anyway.' 'What about your career?', she urged him, 'you were the one who said you'd be finished if it comes out.' Alex gulped. 'Yes, I know. And if we had had the choice of course none of this would have ever come out,' he took a deep breath, 'but things have turned out differently now and I will not just walk away from this. And I certainly won't walk away from him.' 'You are an idiot, do you know that?' Anna snapped at him in frustration. Alex laughed quietly. 'Yes. Tommy has mentioned this once or twice before.' 'What about mum and dad?' Alex ran his hand through his hair. 'I need to tell them now.' He said quietly. 'Alex, dad will have a heart attack. At least let me drive to their house now so I can be there when you speak to them.' Alex nodded. 'Okay, thank you Anna. You're the best sis in the world.' She forced a laugh. He quickly told her how the visit to Tom's parents ended and she gasped on the phone. 'So you're hurt,' she said worried, 'my God, Alex. You boys are playing with fire.' Alex laughed. 'Yeah. I would say we are way beyond playing with it. We have set everything alight.'

Lastly, Alex spoke to David, his agent, who tried everything to stop him from revealing his identity. 'Alex, the fans will go bizerk. This is bloody suicide. You will be booed and ridiculed on the pitch, do you realise this?' Alex was patient and explained his view once more. The more people he spoke to, the more determined he became. In the end David promised to set up a call with his club manager and coach in the afternoon to agree next steps on how to handle this situation.

When Alex joined the boys back in the lounge, he felt exhausted. Tom jumped up and hugged and kissed him. 'Changed your mind? There is still time.' He said gently stroking his cheeks. Alex shook his head. 'I'm afraid you're stuck with me.' He whispered. 'How is your stomach?' Tom checked his bruise again and carefully touched it. 'Ouch, not too good.' Alex forced a smile but was breathing hard with pain. 'You won't be able to play in two days Alex.' Tom looked at him with concern. 'Let's worry about that once I have outed myself, shall we?' Alex winked at him and kissed his cheek.

Tom's club's press conference was about to start and all boys sat down and were glued to the television. 'Winter flew in for it,' Kai cheered, 'he's just brilliant.' Tom and Alex held hands again as they listened to the club's president's Bauer’s official statement.

'Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for attending this spontaneous, unscheduled press conference, which we felt was important to hold to comment on the news story which broke this morning with regards to Tom's alleged homosexual relationship. I can assure you we can keep this short because ultimately there is not much to say. Tom will make a statement through his agent in the next day or so. As for the club's position on these events, I am speaking on behalf of this club, the manager, coaches and the whole team when I tell you that we are all 100 per cent united in our support for Tom. He is an invaluable player and colleague to this club. His sexual preferences are and should be a private matter. Having said that, let me make very clear that this club will not accept any homophobic behaviour and I would urge all fans and supporters to echo this. We will not tolerate any expressions of homophobia in our games or stadium.' The president took a sip of water and passed the word to Winter. Tom exhaled with relief and Alex kissed his cheek.

Winter thanked Bauer and echoed his view and statement. 'I wanted to be personally present at this conference to make crystal clear that over and above a football league level, homophobia in the German team is also totally unacceptable. We will not tolerate any homophobic feelings whatsoever. Tom therefore, should he confirm any of these accusations, will have my full protection and support.' He sipped some water and the journalists were given the opportunity to ask questions. A couple of obvious ones came up straight away.

'Mr Winter, would you say that these allegations are true then?' 'I cannot speak on behalf of Tom. I'm sure you will understand that.'

'Mr Winter, you have been working with the German team for some time now. The story alludes to Mr Stiller having an affair with another player. If this is true, surely you would know about this already. What's your view on this?' Winter laughed. Tom clutched Alex’s hand. 'I am certainly not here to comment on any allegations in this story. Tom's private life is none of my business and whether he is or isn't in a relationship with any of his colleagues is totally irrelevant for me or indeed anyone else.'

'Mr Bauer, we understand Mr Stiller and in fact two of your other players have not attended training today. When will they be back?' 'We agreed with Tom and Felix and Kai, who are with him to support him today, that they will join the training routine as normal from tomorrow.' 'Is Alexander Hanisch with Tom Stiller as well at the moment?' 'We have no information on this but given they are close friends, this is of course a possibility.'

'Phew,' Felix said when the conference was over, 'that wasn't too bad considering.' He patted Tom's thigh playfully, 'it'll be alright Tommy. You know what, I think people will actually have respect for you that you have the balls to go out there and say ‘I'm gay. So what.’' Felix crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked pleased. Kai still wasn't so sure. 'I don't know Tommy. It's the fans that worry me.' 'Well, tough,' Felix said, 'we'll just have to help Tommy where we can. Same goes for Alex of course.'

Alex and Tom exchanged a look and went into the bedroom. They felt like being alone for a moment. Alex shut the door behind him and the boys sat down next to each other. 'Do you remember our weekend in Austria?', Tom looked at his friend and gulped. Alex laughed sadly and nodded, 'I wish we could beam ourselves back there now,' Tom said, 'we were so happy then and now it's all so messed up.' He shook his head and Alex hugged him. 'We knew it would be tough,' Alex said gently, 'hopefully it can only get better from here.' Tom looked at him and then kissed him longingly. He carefully stroked his chest and back and pushed him over on the bed. 'Tommy,' Alex said quietly grinning, 'what are you doing?' 'Taking us back to Austria.' Tom whispered and smiled, slowly undressing his friend.

'Hey, are you boys hungry? We need to get some food I think. Tommy?', Felix was knocking on the bedroom door, 'hello?' He rolled his eyes. Alex and Tom giggled quietly and kissed each other under the duvet before Tom jumped up and got dressed within seconds. He opened the door and walked out, quickly pulling it shut behind him. Alex knew he had no chance of getting up fast. He hurled himself out of bed and slowly got dressed. He checked his phone and had a text message from his sister. 'Ready when you are.'

Alex took a deep breath before he dialled his parents' number. 'Hey mum,' he said nervously as she picked up the phone, 'how are you?' After a few lines of polite chat, Alex had built up to it. He reminded her of his very good friend Tom, who used to play with him in his club. 'The one who is gay?' His mum shouted into the phone. Alex almost laughed. 'Yes, well, that's why I'm calling actually mum. So...,' 'Apparently he has a relationship with some other poor devil in the German team,' his mother interrupted him, 'you must know something about that?' His mum said, hungry for a piece of sensational gossip. 'Well, yes, I do actually mum. The reason I'm calling...' 'You know I don't know what's wrong with these young men these days.' She continued. 'Mum.' Alex jumped in. 'Yes darling.' He took a deep breath. 'It's me. The poor devil. It's me,' he said gently. There was a pause, 'mum?' Alex almost started crying with stress. 'Alex, you shouldn't joke about things like this. First you tell us you have left your family and now you have the nerve to make inappropriate jokes.' His mother said in a strict voice. 'I'm not joking mum.' Alex whispered. 'Anna, get your father.' His mother sounded assertive. Alex rolled his eyes in frustration. 'Alex, it's dad. What happened now?' The conversation went further downhill from there. Alex and his father argued for a good half hour and in the end Alex just hung up and threw his mobile on the floor in anger.

Tom stormed into the room. 'Hey,' he sat down next to him and hugged and kissed him, 'I heard you argue on the phone. Just wanted to check... Alex?', he was stroking his hair, 'your dad?', he asked. Alex nodded, 'what did he say?' 'That I'm abnormal,' he gasped for air, 'that I have deeply disappointed him and brought shame on my whole family,' he forced a laugh and wiped tears off his cheeks, 'thanks dad.' He muttered. Before Tom could say anything more to comfort him, Alex’s mobile rang again. 'Oh great,' Alex said as he saw his agent's number come up, 'conference call with my managers. Bring it on.' Tom kissed his cheek. 'There is pizza once you're done.' He smiled at him nervously and kissed him again before he left the room.

The conversation went round in circles for a while. His club manager and agent collectively tried to change Alex’s mind once again. He listened but rejected all their arguments to their great despair. 'Are you going to fire me?' Alex laughed bitterly. 'Alex, you will regret this decision.' Alex took a deep breath. 'I've made up my mind. So. You can either support me like Tommy's club did or you don't. And get rid of me,' he gulped, 'up to you.' He added quietly. 'Alex, you are one of our best players, of course we will support you,' his manager said hectically. Alex knew the whole story would be such a headache for them to deal with. He didn't care, 'okay, okay. So when is your big announcement going to happen?' They asked in despair. 'I'll confirm tomorrow. Tommy will publish his statement first thing in the morning. We can do ours whenever you want. Oh, and I have an injury so will most likely be out for the match on Saturday but I'll see one of Tommy's physiotherapists tomorrow to get that checked.' There was a pause. 'Ah. Well I'm glad you told us. Anything else we should know about Alex?' His manager was fuming. 'Think that's it for today.' Alex couldn't help but smirk a little. 'We'll prepare for the press conference then. Speak to you tomorrow Alex,' David sighed, 'and take care, okay?'

It had turned dark again outside. Alex thought of his son and painfully remembered how this was his bed time. He missed him so much. One day, he thought, perhaps he would be able to spend some time with him again. He tried to push those thoughts aside for now and slowly stood up. As he went back into the lounge, he could hear the others play Xbox games to put their minds off things and it looked like Tom was winning. Alex smiled looking at them all laughing together for the first time that day and it made him feel a little better. Tom turned around when he heard the bedroom door open and jumped up. He ran towards Alex and hugged him tightly. 'How did it go?' He smiled at him anxiously. 'Yeah. Everyone's delighted.' Alex laughed and Tom hugged him again. 'You must be starving. There's some food left for you. And beer.' 'Sounds perfect.' Alex gazed at his friend and kissed him.

'Your turn lover boy!', Felix shouted towards Tom, 'come on, we'll finish this game and then Kai and I leave you two to it. Someone has got to distract the journalists.' The boys laughed. 'They must be frozen by now anyway, standing out there in the snow all day.' Kai said. Tom joined them again and sat down on the floor to finish the game while Alex got himself the rest of the pizza and a beer. He sat down behind Tom, who made himself comfortable leaning back against him. 'Oh dammit!' Tom shouted and the boys were roaring with laughter as he missed out and lost the game after all. Alex tickled him from behind and kissed his cheek grinning. 'Not so clever after all!' Felix said and laughed. He and Kai cheered and high-fived each other. 'Bastards.' Tom shouted.

'Right, time to go home,' Felix grabbed his jacket, 'come on Kai. Let's leave those two love birds alone,' he smiled at Alex and Tom, 'it will be alright boys,' he gently patted the back of their heads, 'so see you at training tomorrow morning then Tommy. Make sure you look pretty for the journalists.' Felix winked at him. 'And you Alex? When is your big appearance?' Kai asked. 'Once Tommy's statement is published,' Alex said, 'some time tomorrow.' He smiled nervously. Tom took his hand and they said goodbye to Felix and Kai at the door.

Once they had left, the boys embraced each other silently for a moment. Alex focussed on Tom's scent, the warmth of his body and his gentle breathing. He felt calm and safe as always when Tom held him closely. 'I bet there are about a thousand cameras flashing outside this house right now and dozens of disappointed journalists getting a glimpse of Felix and Kai.' Alex said and both boys laughed. Tom put his arms around his friend's neck and looked at him seriously. 'I really hope you won't regret this.' He gulped. 'Tommy, nothing can change my mind. Not even you. I belong to you now,' Alex said, 'sod what everyone else thinks.' Tom hugged him again as he took a deep breath. 'This is total madness.' He said nervously. Alex kissed him gently. 'Let's not talk about it anymore,' he gave him a cheeky smile as he stroked his cheeks, 'let's go to bed Tommy. We both need some rest.' The boys laughed quietly and kissed each other as they were both desperately trying to forget about everything and everyone else.

Tom had another restless night. When he did manage to get some sleep he had nightmares and woke up gasping, covered in sweat. At about 7 o'clock in the morning he was getting too stressed to stay in bed any longer. He showered and got ready for training whilst Alex hurled himself out of bed with his stomach still in pain. As he walked into the lounge, Tom turned on the television. 'It'll be published any time now.' He muttered. Alex sat down next to him and gently took his ice cold hand.

'Ladies and gentlemen, good morning. Further to yesterday's news story around the alleged homosexual affair of football star Tom Stiller, there have been further developments. Late last night fellow team colleagues Felix Lang and Kai Roth left Tom Stiller's flat together but did not answer any questions by the press. This morning Tom Stiller's agent has confirmed the allegations by publishing the following statement on behalf of the footballer:

I am saddened by the way intimate details of my private life have been made public. However, I am not denying them as I want to be honest with my fans and supporters of my football club. It is true that I am in a very happy homosexual relationship and I would like to ask all fans of any club to respect this as a private matter and plead to our own fans to continue to support me and the whole team as they have done so brilliantly for years.

Meanwhile rumours about who his mystery lover may be have been spreading across the web with Alexander Hanisch being one of the names most mentioned.'

Tom switched off the television and took a deep breath looking at Alex. 'It's done.' 'You said you are in a very happy relationship.' Alex said quietly. 'I am.' Tom nodded and smiled at him. Alex pulled him close and kissed him lovingly. 'And today we tell the world about it,' his heart was racing. He knew this was going to be a tough journey, 'better get ready then, hmm?' Alex said and took Tom's hands. His friend looked at him confused. 'But you've got time. I thought you'll stay here until your press conference is over?' Alex smiled at him. 'I need to see one of your doctors Tommy. This bruise is looking nasty still. I'll come with you to training this morning.' Tom frowned at him. 'What? You want to leave the house with me? Now? But this will confirm all the rumours Alex. Oh,' Tom nodded sadly as he understood the plan, 'that's what you want,' he paused, 'of course.' Alex kissed him again. 'Tommy, you heard what they said. Everyone knows anyway. People aren't stupid,' he smiled, 'give me five minutes, okay?' He stroked his cheeks and went into the bathroom.

Tom watched him get ready and kept checking the number of news vans and journalists that were gathered outside from his balcony. 'What's your plan exactly then?' Tom asked. 'Nothing much,' Alex said, 'I don't think we'll need to say anything really,' he took Tom's hand, 'I'll just do this. That will be obvious enough I would have thought?' Tom stared at him with fear in his eyes. 'Jesus.' He squeezed his friend's hand. The boys looked at each other. 'Are you ready?', Alex asked gently and stroked Tom's cheek, 'to tell the world?' He smiled bravely but could feel his own heart race again. Tom took a deep breath and gulped. 'If you are, then I am too.' He said nodding. 'Let's go then.' Alex whispered and the boys shared a long, gentle kiss.

They grabbed their bags and decided to wear sunglasses and baseball caps to make them feel more sheltered and protected from the reporters when they were to leave the house. Then the boys silently and slowly walked all the way down from Tom's apartment towards the main front door. There were journalists waiting right outside by the entrance, they could tell.

Tom felt frightened again and suddenly stopped short as he turned around to Alex. 'I don't know if I can do this Alex.' He was breathing hard and looked at his friend for help. Alex grabbed his head and rested his forehead against his'. 'Tommy,' he said and closed his eyes as he spoke, 'this is perhaps the toughest thing we have to face yet. But this is exactly why I'm here with you,' Tom was almost in tears as he was gripped by panic, 'I love you,' Alex said and kissed him. Tom stared at him, 'now take my hand,' Alex urged him, 'take my hand and don't let go Tommy. Don't look at anyone, don't say anything. Just hold my hand and walk straight towards the car.' He looked at him intently as he offered him his right hand. Tom was trembling with fear. He slowly took it and held it very gently. Alex smiled at him encouragingly. He could feel Tom's cold hand and see the worry in his eyes. And he wished he could do something to spare him this moment of utter exposure. 'I love you too.' Tom finally said.

And as both boys stepped outside into the flashlights of dozens of cameras, hand in hand, they both knew they had just embarked on the most difficult journey of their lives.

Chapter 8

It was late and wouldn't stop snowing in Dortmund. The city had become quiet and the snow had silenced any sound of traffic still moving outside Tom's house.

The boys were lying in bed facing each other as they tried to unwind listening to some of their favourite music. They had dimmed all the lights in the flat, they couldn't bear any more flash aggressive ones after today's events. Alex was stroking Tom's hand reassuringly. Both boys still felt somewhat traumatised.

The picture of them leaving Tom's flat earlier that day had started appearing all over the news and web. Tom walking ahead of Alex, holding him by his hand, with their heads bowed low, hiding behind their sunglasses and baseball caps as much as that was at all possible. They had been inundated with questions by loud journalists both outside Tom's house and at the training ground. When they had arrived there they had been confronted by dozens of angry fans who had gathered to voice the disapproval of their relationship. As they had tried to make their way through the crowds, security guards had had to step in to safely get them into the club. Both had kept clutching each other's hand and had not said a word to anyone, just like they had agreed.

As Tom had tried to start his training session and concentrate on his work, Alex had been checked by the team doctors, who had confirmed he was not fit to play the next day but instead was to rest another few days until the bruise and the swelling of his stomach would have gone down.

Alex had watched his own club’s press conference on television and similar to Tom’s team, the managers had all expressed united support for Alex. This had again been backed by Winter, who had stressed the importance of accepting homosexuality as a reality and normality and condemning any homophobic behaviour in football.

'Tommy,' Alex whispered, 'we got through it in the end.' Tom opened his eyes and looked at him seriously. 'That was only the beginning,' he said, 'it will get worse. We're playing at home tomorrow, that will be the real first test,' he gulped and closed his eyes again, 'in front of thousands of people who just cannot understand.' 'But there will be some who will understand,' Alex stroked his cheeks and kissed him gently, 'I have to say,' he picked up the evening newspaper again that had their shot on the front page, 'I think we make an awesome couple,' he grinned, 'don't you?' Tom couldn't help but laugh. He shook his head in disbelief. 'Let's have another look,' he propped himself up on his elbow. He looked at the picture and laughed again, 'not too bad.' He winked at Alex. Tom stroked his friend's strong shoulder and neck and gazed at him. 'I couldn't have done this without you today,' he paused, 'you knew, didn't you?', Alex met his eyes looking up from the newspaper, 'you knew I needed you. More than I knew myself,' Alex smiled and kissed him. Tom pulled him close, 'God only knows what is going to happen next,' he shouted and laughed, 'but you're worth it all.' They gently kissed each other again and eventually fell asleep in one another's arms.

On Saturday morning the boys were greeted by warm winter sunshine streaming into the bedroom. It had finally stopped snowing and Dortmund had turned into a sunny winter wonderland. Alex stretched in bed as he woke up.

Tom was still fast asleep on his front and Alex gently stroked his hair. He noticed how exhausted and drained he looked even in his sleep. Tom had kicked the duvet off him at some point during the night and Alex studied his naked body admiringly. To him, he was the most beautiful creature with his toned shoulders and arms, his muscular back and bottom, his strong thighs and carves. He could have looked at him for days and yet not get tired or enough of him. 'You're perfect.' Alex smiled as he kissed his cheek. Tom stirred in his sleep but didn't wake up. The last two nights of restlessness had clearly caught up with him. Alex fished the duvet off the floor and tenderly covered him again. He kissed his hair and got up to make them breakfast.

Tom sleepily appeared in the kitchen in his dressing gown about half an hour later. He wiped his eyes and yawned and Alex smiled at him. He grabbed him and picked him up, beaming. 'Alex, what the hell,' Tom giggled trying to get his feet back on the ground, 'put me down!' He shouted chuckling. Alex gently set him back down and held him in his arms. They smiled at each other lovingly. 'Good morning.' Alex whispered. Tom kissed him. 'I slept for hours,' he yawned again, 'must be almost time to get ready.' 'Breakfast first.' Alex said and served them some scrambled eggs. Tom stared at him with wide eyes. 'Since when can you cook breakfast?' 'Weeks of bachelor experience.' Alex winked at him and Tom laughed.

They ate their breakfast together and even though Tom was getting anxious about the match that afternoon and the fans' reactions in the stadium, Alex managed to distract him and help him relax a little. 'What time are you playing?' He asked him eventually, taking a sip of coffee. '17.30. At least we have a bit of time,' Tom hesitated, 'when are you going back to Hamburg?' 'Tomorrow,' Alex said quietly and Tom nodded, 'should be a good match this afternoon.' Alex continued looking at him. 'Yeah,' Tom forced a laugh, 'it will certainly be an interesting one.' He ran his hands through his hair as he was getting stressed again. 'Don't worry,' Alex smiled at his friend cheekily, 'I'll be there.' Tom looked at him confused. 'Where?' He asked him. 'In the stadium watching the match you idiot.' 'You want to come to the stadium?', Tom frowned at him, 'Alex,' he said gently and put his cup down, 'why do you want to do this to yourself? Isn't it enough if I get whistled at?' Alex took his hands. 'Tommy,' he whispered, 'you need me. Remember?' He grinned at him. Tom just stared at his friend. 'You really are a nutcase, you know that?', he sighed. Then he smiled at him gently, 'okay, fine. I can't stop you anyway. You never listen to a word I say to you!' He laughed in despair. Alex smiled and cast his eyes down. Tom sat down on his lap. He carefully opened Alex’s dressing gown and checked his bruise. His whole upper stomach had turned dark purple. Tom looked into his friend's eyes. 'No-one will ever hurt you again. I'll make sure of that.' He stroked his hair and kissed him.

Alex took a look around the sold out stadium after he had sat down in the VIP box. He could see various banners up and most of them made him feel sick and angry. Alex's and Tom's faces were on pretty much all of them. They were ridiculed by caricatures of them snogging, having sex and oral sex. Alex pulled his cap deep down into his face and tried to hide in his winter jacket. He was hoping Tom would be able to just blank them throughout the match. His eyes kept wandering across the stadium. Then he noticed a couple of smaller banners in the crowd. It looked like it was a group of girls holding them high up in the air. 'Now we love you even more!' The boys' faces were framed in a big red heart. Alex almost laughed when he spotted them but it gave him a glimpse of hope on this daunting afternoon.

As soon as Tom and his team walked onto the pitch the whistling started. Not only was it the fans of the opponent team, who booed him and sang abusive songs, but what was worse, it was his own club's supporters who started howling abuse too. Tom tried to keep his head held high and avoided looking at the crowds too much. But Alex could tell how stressed he was, he knew him too well. Kai and Felix stayed close to him until they had to jog off into their positions. Alex felt nervous for him. He was hoping Tom would be able to have a good match despite the humiliating messages around him. He wanted his friend to show everyone what a talented footballer he really was. And Tom did just that.

Alex watched in awe as Tom dominated his team and the match setting the pace. Kai and Tom played together perfectly. When Kai scored twice in the first half, he made a special gesture and ran towards him, pointing at him for having served him the perfect ball. Tom high-fived his friend but didn't overly celebrate, he just got on with his work instead. Alex turned his hand into a fist and encouraged him to keep going. 'Come on.' He mumbled under his breath as if Tom could hear him.

He briefly joined the team in the changing rooms at half time. 'Good work!' Alex said and patted Kai's head. He saw Tom sitting in the corner in front of his locker. He was resting his arms on his thighs and looked focussed. Alex walked towards him and slowly sat down next to him. 'Hey,' he said gently, 'you are doing great!' He smiled at him proudly. Tom looked at him with tears in his eyes. 'Have you seen the banners?' He asked him. Alex nodded sadly. 'Yes, of course I have,' Tom couldn't say anything. He sipped his energy drink and tried to concentrate again, 'but you are showing everyone what a brilliant footballer you are Tommy,' he took his hand briefly, 'you couldn't have responded in a better way,' he smiled at him again, 'I'm so proud of you,' he whispered. Tom just stared at him expressionless. Alex cast his eyes down, 'I better go.' He got up and was about to walk off when Tom grabbed his hand. He was breathing hard with stress as Alex turned to him. 'Thank you.' He mouthed at him and smiled.

The second half was less noisy. The majority of fans had got bored of whistling and the celebratory atmosphere of their team currently up 2-0 was thankfully more prominent now. The supporters of the opponent team on the other hand, angered by the score and Tom continuing to play sharply and faultlessly, tried to put him off his game by commencing the booing and whistling again whenever he had the ball. But he fought defiantly and delivered. He managed to set up another goal in the second half and his team went on to win the match 3-0. It was the perfect result and response to Tom's tough week. Alex jumped up at the final whistle and clapped and cheered. The cameras had finally spotted him and didn't miss the chance to take pictures of him smiling, clearly admiring his boyfriend. Tom was looking at him and waved his fist high up in the air in victory and relief. Alex nodded at him, taking deep breaths. He was the proudest man in the stadium.

Back in the changing room, Kai and Felix tried to convince the boys to come out and celebrate their win that evening. Tom was unsure and hesitant. 'Come on,' Kai said, 'you had the game of your life despite those twats out there giving you such a hard time. You deserve a drink man!' Tom shook his head as he was putting his shoes on. 'I don't know Kai. It might be a bit too soon to be out celebrating, don't you think?' 'Why?', Felix intervened, 'you have every right to be out with your team mates after a 3-0 thrashing! Besides, we'll be a 10 minute walk from your house. We're only going to our local bar.' Tom looked at Alex for some support in making a decision. 'What do you think? You need to fly back to Hamburg tomorrow.' 'Ahhh, do the love birds fancy a romantic night in? Is that what it is?' Felix mocked them and giggled. Tom slapped him. 'Idiot!' He laughed. Alex smiled as he was leaning against the lockers with his hands in his pockets. 'I'm easy Tommy, it may be a good way to take our minds off things a bit though?' Tom took a minute to consider the options. Then he laughed. 'Oh what the hell, let's go out.' Kai and Felix cheered and high-fived each other and Tom stood up and gave Alex a kiss.

The atmosphere in their local bar was relaxed and happy that evening. Tom was chatting to all his team mates, who kept expressing their support for him and felt proud of his outstanding performance that day. Alex also enjoyed a couple of drinks with them but cursed at the match result of his own team. They had lost yet again in the afternoon and were now seriously in trouble. He checked the news on his phone and rubbed his forehead in frustration. Tom joined him and put his arm around his shoulders. 'Perhaps it's time you came and played here.' Tom winked at him. Alex stared at him at first and then laughed out loud. 'Move to Dortmund?', he took a sip of his beer, 'I don't think so,' Tom smiled but Alex spotted some disappointment in his eyes, 'obviously I'd love to be back in the same city as you,' he added hectically, 'you know that, don't you?' Tom nodded and kissed him. 'Dortmund is not Hamburg though, hey?', Tom winked at him, 'sure, I understand.'

All of a sudden they could hear some roars and cheers and the whole team had turned towards them without them realising. 'Here's to the couple of the year!' Kai shouted and the team cheered again. The boys giggled embarrassed as they realised they had been caught chatting and kissing each other. Tom beamed at Alex and kissed him again, which imminently resulted in the roars turning louder. And Alex had never felt prouder.

They decided to stroll home at the end of the evening. It was a short walk and they both felt they could do with some fresh air. A thick layer of snow still covered the pavements and streets and Alex and Tom were wrapped up in coats and scarfs. They were in a good mood and chatted as they were walking side by side. Only a few minutes from Tom's house Alex stopped, picked up some snow and formed a giant snowball, which he threw at Tom. He managed to hit him right between his shoulder blades. 'Ouch, you bastard!' His friend turned and chuckled, grabbed some snow himself, and hit Alex on his left thigh. They laughed and continued their snowball fight in the middle of the street. There wasn't anyone around.

Then, suddenly, they could hear someone shout. They turned and saw a group of four young men staggering down the road a few metres behind them. 'Hey,' one of them shouted, 'can we join in?' The others laughed. Alex and Tom stopped and looked at each other. 'Shit,' Alex mumbled, 'let's go.' They turned and started walking faster towards Tom's street. 'Hey,' the same man shouted again and the boys could hear them run up behind them. Alex and Tom exchanged a look but before they could run off, the men had caught up and stood in their way, 'no fucking way man,' they shouted, 'it's the fags!', they roared with laughter, 'today is our lucky day after all!'

Alex and Tom were like paralysed. It was obvious that they were supporters of the opponent team against which Tom's club had played earlier on. They looked like they had been drinking all day. Two of the men had blond hair and were strongly built, the other two were slightly slimmer with darker hair. 'Get out of our way.' Alex said annoyed and tried to push them aside. 'Wow, easy.' One of the blond ones said and stood back in his way. Tom could smell their alcohol and cigarette breaths and turned his head away in disgust.

'Come on guys,' Alex said as calmly as possible, 'stop being stupid and get out of the way.' The four men didn't move. Instead, one of them stepped forward and closer to Tom. 'We don't want players like you in our top league or playing for our country,' he looked at both Alex and Tom, 'we need real men, not a bunch of girls!' Alex became seriously concerned now. These men were clearly up for a fight and he knew that they didn't have much of a chance against four of them. He hectically checked if there was anyone around who could help them but the streets were deserted. He could hear Tom breathing hard with stress. The highest priority for him was to get his friend out of this situation safely. When one of the blond men continued heckling Tom and even started pushing him, he decided to act.

Alex threw himself forward into the group of men, which made the two slimmer ones topple over. 'Run Tommy!', Alex shouted at Tom, who was breathing even harder with fear now. He saw Alex lying on the floor struggling with the two men but he hadn't managed to push the other two blond ones over, 'run!' Alex shouted again but Tom couldn't move. He watched in shock as the two stronger men still standing up started kicking Alex’s already bruised stomach and beating his head. Alex moaned in pain and curled up on the pavement in the snow whilst trying to defend himself. Tom grabbed one of the blond men by his shoulders and pulled him away from his friend but he couldn't stop the other one from continuing. 'Get off him!' Tom screamed in anger and the adrenaline had kicked in. He grabbed the other blond man who had kept beating Alex and managed to push him over.

In the meantime though the two slimmer guys that Alex brought down in the first place had got back up and were clearly more interested in Tom. They approached him as he was trying to fight off the second blond man that had kicked his friend. 'The ultimate trophy,' the men laughed as they stood over Tom, 'you have robbed us off our victory today, you fucking puff. How do you think that makes us feel, huh?', all four of them roared with laughter, 'time to teach you a lesson gay pussy!' Tom was breathing hard with anger trying to defend himself and kicked fiercely against the men. But as much as he fought with them, he just couldn't stop his hands and legs being pinned down by two of them. His whole body was shaking as he was staring at them all, angry and terrified. 'Tommy.' Alex mumbled in agony. He could hear them shout at his friend as he was desperately trying to get up and help him but he felt too weak.

'You are nothing but a bunch of fucking thugs.' Tom spat through his teeth and closed his eyes as they started beating him. He could quickly feel blood dripping from his forehead, nose and lips and curled up in pain as they went for his stomach. 'No, leave him alone, please!' Alex shouted, begging in tears of despair. His survival instincts took over. His blood was boiling with anger when he saw them beating Tom over and over again. He finally managed to get back on to his legs and threw himself on top of his friend desperately trying to protect him from any more kicks. Surprised by Alex’s action, the men let go off Tom's hands at least and Tom instinctively threw his arms around him. He hugged him and kissed his cheek. 'Alex, don't.' He whispered into his ear.

'Get off your boyfriend, fag! We're not done with him yet!', the men laughed at him and to Tom's horror, one of the blond men pulled a knife out of his pocket and pointed it directly at Alex’s back, 'get up!' He shouted at him. 'Oh God, Alex.' Tom mumbled hugging him protectively. Alex looked into Tom's terrified eyes and started breathing hard with stress as he slowly turned around, pushed himself off his friend and moved backwards on his elbows through the snow, desperately avoiding the blade. 'You guys are fucking crazy! Put that knife away man.' Alex said as calmly as possible. 'Stay away from him then.' The four men laughed again, now pointing the knife directly at Alex’s stomach. They slowly followed him while he kept moving further and further back.

Whilst all four of them were threatening Alex with the knife, Tom was still lying on his back and was forced to watch helplessly. He had started crying in pain and pure anger but managed to pull himself up. He was shaky on his legs and his face and upper body hurt so much, he was trembling in pain. 'Leave him alone.' He mumbled as he took deep breaths before he launched himself against the men from behind. Some of them fell over again. 'Hey, what do you think you're doing fag?' It was the blond man holding the knife and as he turned around, surprised by Tom's attack, he pushed the blade deep into one side of Tom's stomach. 'Tommy!' Alex screamed as he watched his friend gasp and break down holding his side and curling up on the floor in agony and shock.

'Fuck! You stabbed him, you fucking idiot!', some of the men had started to panic, 'you stabbed a multi-million euro footballer! We'll go down for this. Fucking run!' They ran off leaving the boys behind.

Alex cried and stumbled towards Tom. 'Tommy,' he turned his friend on to his back and held him, 'Tommy, oh God, please. No, please,' he was in utter panic stroking his cheeks and kissing him. Tom was breathing hard with pain. He gasped for air holding the side of his stomach. Alex fished his phone out of his jeans pocket with trembling fingers. His hands were shaking as he dialled 110 and cried into the phone trying to explain what had happened to them, 'yes please, you have to be quick. He's been stabbed. We're, erm, we're...', Alex panicked desperately trying to remember the name of the streets, 'just off Waldburger Strasse', he was breathing hard continuously stroking Tom's hair, 'my name? It's Alexander Hanisch.' He gulped and hung up.

Tom was on the verge of passing out. Alex hectically took his jacket off and tied it firmly around Tom's wound to slow down the bleeding. The white snow soaked with his friend's blood made him shiver. He gently held Tom in his arms and stroked his cheeks and hair. He took his right hand and held it firmly. 'You'll be okay,' he whispered kissing him, 'the ambulance is coming any minute now. You'll be alright,' he started crying again looking at his injuries, 'why didn't you run Tommy? I told you to run.' He tried to wipe the tears of his cheeks. Tom looked into Alex’s eyes. He had started shivering. 'I promised you no-one would ever hurt you again,' Tom said. His voice was weak and his lips were turning blue from the cold, 'I'm sorry Alex.' 'You stupid idiot,' Alex shouted and kissed him, pulling him closer and desperately trying to keep him warm, 'and what about you?' He kept kissing his forehead. Alex couldn't feel the cold or any of his own pain. The shock had totally numbed him.

Then to his relief, he could hear the faint noise of the ambulance in the distance. 'They're coming,' Alex said and stroked Tom's cheeks, 'can you hear them, hmm?' But Tom had fallen unconscious and all Alex could do was wait and try to stop as much blood streaming from the knife wound as he possibly could. Alex cried like he had never cried before. 'Tommy,' he sobbed holding him, kissing him again and again, 'you have to keep fighting. Don't give up. Please. Don't leave me. God please. Don't leave me.'

2 hours later

'You were lucky Mr Hanisch,' the nurse said as she finished treating his injuries in hospital, 'you have some bruises, swellings and cuts, but it seems nothing is broken,' she smiled at him, 'you should be able to train again in a couple of weeks or so.' 'How is he, please, I have to know,' Alex asked her frustratedly, 'we've been here for two hours and you still haven't told me if he is okay.' The nurse smiled as she stood up. 'Our best doctors are attending to him, Mr Hanisch, you need to be patient. Please,' she stroked his shoulder gently, 'he is being well looked after.' Alex forced himself to nod and thanked her. 'I need to make a phone call.' He said hectically. 'Sure, go ahead.' She left the room.

Alex took his phone out of his jeans and dialled Felix's number. 'Hey,' Felix sounded surprised, 'you alright? Have you got bored of each other already or why are you calling me at midnight?' He chuckled. Alex’s eyes filled with tears listening to his familiar voice. 'Felix,' he gulped and his friend picked up on the stress in his voice. 'Alex, has something happened?' He sounded concerned now. 'We were attacked,' Alex took deep breaths, 'on the way home.' 'What?', Felix shouted, 'are you okay? Where are are you? Where is Tommy?' Alex cried in agony. 'We're in hospital. He was stabbed Felix. By a gang of fucking drunk thugs.' He shouted into the phone and held his head in despair. 'What?', Felix was breathing hard, 'what do you mean? He's okay though, yeah? Alex?' 'I don't know,' Alex whispered, 'the doctors are with him. He's fighting for his life.' 'My God. I'll be there as fast as I can.' Felix hung up.

Alex cried as he sat in his hospital bed feeling lonely and worried sick about his friend. He took a moment to look down his naked upper body to examine his own injuries. His stomach and chest were bruised all over now. He picked up a mirror that the nurse had left for him earlier and checked his face. He looked like he had been in a boxing fight, with various cuts on his eyebrows and swellings on his cheek bones. His upper lip was split open but other than that, he seemed to have been lucky indeed. He kept thinking of the moment Tom was stabbed. The fact that he hadn't been able to protect him after all was agonising. And then the nightmare he had had that night in Austria suddenly crossed his mind again. Alex shivered again thinking of the real nightmare he was in right now. He was physically shaking from all the stress and thought about praying for the first time in years.

Twenty minutes later Felix stormed into his room. He stopped in the door and stared at him. 'Jesus, Alex.' He whispered. Alex looked at him and the happy memories from earlier on that night came streaming back. Tom kissing him in front of all the boys, the laughter, the cheers. His friend approached his bedside and gently hugged him. 'Alex, how is Tommy?' He had to control himself not to cry. 'I don't know. They won't tell me anything,' Alex said, 'I don't know.' Shh, it'll be okay,' Felix stroked his hair and tried to calm him down. He sat down on a chair by his bed, 'I've called Kai once I was on my way here, so he'll turn up any minute now,' Alex nodded and cast his eyes down. Felix carefully inspected Alex’s injuries, 'God, what happened?' He asked him gently.

Alex took a deep breath and told him as he painfully remembered the trail of events. 'He lost consciousness just before the ambulance arrived,' he closed his eyes, 'when they cut his jacket open to get to the wound, I could see how big and deep it was,' he gasped for air, 'there was blood everywhere,' he looked at Felix, 'those thugs, I'm going to kill them I swear.' He was breathing hard with anger. Felix looked at him intently. 'Was it definitely a homophobic attack do you think?' He asked him. Alex nodded. 'Oh yeah,' he gulped, 'they beat us up because of that, there is no doubt about it.' Felix comfortingly stroked his shoulder.

Suddenly Kai came running into the room. 'Alex, for fuck's sake,' he stared at him, 'what the hell happened? How is he?' Alex was trembling looking at Kai. 'I..., I don't know.' He stammered. 'What do you mean you don't know?', Kai shouted at him, 'were you not there with him? You didn't leave him did you?' Alex stared at him in disbelief. 'Kai!' Felix gave him a warning look. 'No,' Alex spat through his teeth, 'I didn't leave him.' 'How could this happen? How can Tommy be stabbed in the street, right in the middle of Dortmund?', Kai was racing up and down the room, running his hand through his hair in despair, 'if he doesn't survive this,' he was on the verge of crying, 'if he dies here tonight, I swear Alex,' he gasped for air, 'I'm holding you responsible for this.' He concluded quietly. 'Shut up Kai,' Felix shouted, 'how dare you blame Alex for this? Have you lost your mind?' 'Why did you not protect him?' Kai screamed at Alex in anger.

Alex took a deep breath as the tears started rolling down his cheeks again. 'Funny you say that. I have been asking myself the same question,' he said calmly after a pause, 'I told him to run away, I threw myself on top of him when they beat the shit out of him,' Alex grabbed and clutched Felix's hand, 'the knife was meant for me but he tried to help me,' he shouted, 'there was nothing I could do, he ran straight into it.' Kai stared and listened in tears of agony. 'You have brought nothing but pain and misery into his life.' Kai spat through his teeth. 'Kai,' Felix shouted again, 'what are you talking about!' Kai moved closer to Alex’s bed. 'I wish you two had never met.' He said and stared at him with angry tearful eyes. Alex looked Kai straight in the eye. 'You're right,' he whispered, 'I have caused him nothing but pain,' he gulped, 'and believe me, I would give anything if it could be me fighting for my life instead of him right now.'

The door opened and one of the doctors walked into the room. The boys stared at him expectantly. He was a tall man in his mid fifities with grey hair and glasses. 'Good evening together. My name is Doctor Schwarz and I have just spent the last two hours with Mr Stiller.' He looked at Alex with warm gentle eyes. 'Please,' Alex said exhaustedly in almost a whisper, 'please can you tell us how he is. Is he okay?' The doctor stood in front of Alex’s bed and smiled. 'It seems your partner had a guardian angel.' Alex gasped at the choice of his words and the message itself. 'Does that mean he will be okay?' He asked looking for reassurance. 'You did a good job slowing down the bleeding in the first instance Mr Hanisch. Mr Stiller has lost a life threatening amount of blood but it would have been a lot worse without you I'm sure,' Alex looked at him intently and Felix squeezed his hand. The doctor turned to all three boys, 'he's still unconscious but his condition is stabilising. He's receiving transfusions to make up for the loss of blood,' the boys stared at him, 'but thankfully no internal organs have been damaged. He should be over the worst now.'

Alex gasped for air and clutched Felix's hand. 'Oh thank God,' he exclaimed with relief and took deep breaths, 'thank you, thank you so much.' He smiled at the doctor in tears. 'Jesus Christ!' Kai shouted, just as relieved, and let himself fall into a chair. 'Can Alex see him?' Felix asked quietly. Doctor Schwarz hesitated. 'Usually this is against the rules as you are not his next of kin Mr Hanisch,' Alex stared at him in disbelief. But the doctor smiled again, 'we'll make an exception for you, however. I think you have been through enough as it is. Just keep it quiet perhaps,' Alex sighed with relief. He nodded and smiled, 'but do make sure you only see him for a few minutes. He needs to rest now.' Doctor Schwarz said gently as Alex wiped the tears off his cheeks. 'Yes, sure I understand.' 'And how are you feeling?' He asked him. 'Oh, I'm fine. I'm fine now. Thank you.' Alex said and was already trying to get up.

'How long until he'll be able to play again sir?' Kai asked. The doctor looked at him and hesitated. 'I can't tell you for sure Mr Roth. The wound is deep and it can take up to four months for him to fully recover I would have thought,' the boys stared at him, 'but it can take less time too. It all depends on how well his body responds. And on the level of care he'll receive.' 'Oh God,' Kai muttered, 'he'll miss the World Cup.' 'No, he won't,' Alex sounded defiant, 'I'll look after him. I'll get him the best care in the world.' Doctor Schwarz smiled at him. 'The police have arrived and want to ask you some questions Mr Hanisch,' he said, 'I thought you'd want to see your partner first though, so I told them to give you a bit of time,' Alex took a deep breath and nodded gratefully, 'I hope they find those thugs,' the doctor continued quietly, 'those sorts of people make you despair in the human race,' Alex was taken aback by the kind words, 'I wish you both a very happy future together.' Doctor Schwarz patted Alex’s shoulder. 'Thank you.' Alex whispered and looked at Felix, who smiled at him gently. The doctor told the boys where they could find Tom and left the room.

'Come on then,' Felix gave Alex a hand helping him get out of bed. He assisted him put his T-shirt and jumper back on and Alex slowly and carefully stood up. Every move hurt and Felix tried to give him as much support as possible while Kai was still sitting in the chair, vacantly staring ahead in shock, 'hey big guy,' Felix said as he turned towards him, 'can you help Alex get to Tommy's room? I will need to call his brother and tell him what happened.' Kai slowly stood up. He carefully put Alex’s arm across his shoulders to give him support. 'Marco will kill me,' Alex said quietly as he was leaning onto Kai, 'he'll never forgive me for this.' 'Alex, this wasn't your fault,' Felix took a deep breath, 'you go and see Tommy, I'll sort this out.' Alex smiled at him gratefully. 'Come on, let's get you to Tommy's room.' Kai mumbled.

'I'm sorry,' Kai said quietly as the boys were slowly walking down the corridor together, 'I'm sorry about what I said earlier.' Alex gulped and looked at him. 'You were frightened and worried about him. I understand. Let's just forget about it.' Kai didn't respond. As they got closer to Tom's room, Alex’s heart started racing. 'I'll leave you to it now.' Kai said when they reached the room and quickly turned around to find Felix. Alex was breathing hard looking after him. Then he pushed down the handle and slowly opened the door.

Alex's heart sank when he saw his friend asleep in the hospital bed in this white sterile room. Tom had tubes entering his arms and the cuts and bruises on his face and on his upper body were striking. Thankfully his breathing seemed steady though and the heart rate monitor made reassuring noises.

He slowly walked towards him and the memories and sheer horror returned again. He took deep breaths and pulled a chair to his bedside. At first he didn't know what to do other than stare at his friend with tears in his eyes. He desperately wanted to touch him and talk to him. Then he gently took his hand and held it firmly. He stroked and kissed it. His heart broke seeing him hurt like this when only a few hours ago he was playing the game of his life. 'Tommy,' he whispered, 'can you hear me?', he carefully brushed over his injured forehead, 'you're safe now,' he said, 'everything's going to be alright. I promise you,' he started crying with anger again, 'God, what have they done to you,' he spat through his teeth, 'I swear I'll kill them for hurting you like this,' he clutched his hand and kissed it again, 'I'm so sorry Tommy. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you.' Alex kept looking at his friend and thought of all the happy memories he had of him. And he realised once again just how much he meant to him. He remembered how he had studied his perfect body only that morning. How proud and lucky he had felt to be with him. 'Tommy,' he said again in tears, 'can you hear me?' He rested his head on Tom's arm holding his hand tightly.

Then suddenly Alex could feel Tom move his hand. It was subtle, hardly noticeable, but it was enough to make him look up again. 'Tommy?', Alex said and gently stroked his forehead. And very slowly Tom opened his eyes. Alex stared at his friend before he clutched his hand again and smiled with tears in his eyes, 'hey,' he said tenderly stroking his cheeks carefully, 'you're safe now,' Tom tried to speak but he was too weak. He winced as he made an attempt to move and Alex was trying to keep him calm, 'shh, hey, you need to take it easy now,' Alex couldn't stop the tears running down his cheeks. He kissed his hand but Tom had closed his eyes again, 'can you hear me Tommy?', he quietly asked him. Tom didn't open his eyes but very gently squeezed Alex’s hand. Alex kissed it again and again, 'you can hear me,' he said beaming, 'you'll be fine,' he whispered, 'I'll look after you.'

Doctor Schwarz entered the room with another nurse. They slowly walked towards Tom's bed and the doctor put one hand on Alex’s shoulder. 'I need to ask you to leave him for a bit now. Only for a little while. He needs to rest.' Alex was still clutching Tom's hand. 'He can hear me,' he mumbled more to himself. Then he turned to Doctor Schwarz and smiled, 'he opened his eyes briefly and squeezed my hand.' The doctor nodded and gently patted Alex’s back. 'You can see him again in the morning. Come on now Mr Hanisch.' Alex felt uncomfortable. He looked at the doctor with worried eyes. 'Can I not stay here? I don't want to leave him. Please.' Doctor Schwarz smiled. 'I know. I understand. But the more rest he'll get the faster he'll recover and...'

'Alex?' Tom's voice sounded faint and weak. He had opened his eyes again and looked at his friend. 'Tommy, I'm here,' Alex stroked his forehead and looked into his eyes, 'hey,' he beamed at him and Tom managed to give his friend a tiny smile in return. He made an attempt to speak again but visibly struggled, 'shh, you need to rest Tommy,' as Alex was holding Tom's hand, he could feel him trying to move it. Alex gently kissed it again and pressed it against his cheek. Tom slowly moved his fingers and tenderly touched the cuts and bruises in Alex’s face. He took a deep breath and Alex noticed the sadness in his eyes, 'I'm fine,' Alex said smiling, 'don't you dare worry about me right now. I know what you're like!' He laughed at Tom, who tried to smile as well.

Doctor Schwarz touched Alex’s shoulder again. 'Mr Hanisch, please.' He said quietly. Alex looked at him briefly and nodded. He turned back to Tom. 'I must let you sleep now,' he explained gently, 'but I'm only in another room. Waiting for you to wake up again,' Tom looked at him, 'and as soon as you're awake I'll come back to see you. Okay?', Alex kissed his hand. Tom made an effort to nod and smile, 'I love you very much.' Alex whispered quietly and carefully kissed Tom's lips. Tom squeezed Alex’s hand again. 'Me too.' He mouthed at him. He hardly had any energy left and Alex beamed at him gratefully, stroking his cheeks. 'That's lucky,' Alex smiled cheekily and winked at him, 'sleep now Tommy.' He whispered into his ear and pressed his nose into his hair. Tom took a deep breath as he closed his heavy eyes and Alex watched him fall asleep. He felt scared and lonely again for a moment. 'He will be alright Mr Hanisch.' Doctor Schwarz said quietly and Alex nodded and sighed. Then he carefully got up and followed them out of the room.

'How is he?' Felix asked Alex with concern in his voice as he was leaning against the wall opposite Tom's room. Kai had jumped up from a chair as soon as Alex appeared. Alex buried his hands in his trouser pockets and looked at them both. 'He was conscious for a little while and could hear me. He's asleep again now.' Felix nodded. 'How bad is it?' Kai asked. 'He's been beaten up and stabbed, what do you think?' Alex couldn't help snap at Kai, who was getting angry. 'Wow, you have a nerve to...' 'Stop it. Both of you,' Felix intervened, 'we should all be grateful he's still alive.' He said and sat down.

'Mr Hanisch?', two police officers had approached the boys, 'we can appreciate it's late and you are probably still in shock. But do you have a few minutes for us?' Alex stared at them. 'Sure.' He said quietly and nodded. Before he was about to follow them, Felix grabbed his arm and looked at him. 'Alex, Tom's parents and Marco are on their way here. Just so you know.' Alex nodded and gulped. 'Will you stay here?' Felix took a deep breath. 'Of course.' Alex hugged him carefully. He was still in agony. 'Thank you,' he smiled at him. Then he turned to Kai, 'I'm sorry man. I didn't mean to snap.' Kai sighed. 'We're all exhausted. Don't worry about it. Let's make sure the police catch those fucking animals.' Alex nodded and gave him a thumbs up before he slowly followed the police officers.

They interviewed Alex for about half an hour, asking him questions and details about the sequence of events and the four men. He told them everything he remembered and tried to describe the men as accurately as possible. He shivered thinking about it again. It all felt so surreal, he still couldn't quite believe what had happened. 'Would you recognise them Mr Hanisch?' Alex stared at them. 'I will never forget those faces. Please find them. I will do anything to assist you.' The police officers explained that they would make a statement to the press that night and would ask the public for help in finding the attackers. Alex dreaded the attention of the press again, the reactions of the fans, the interviews he'd have to give and suffer through. He wondered how the media would react to this attack. All he could hope for was for people to realise how wrong all this was.

By the time they had finished the interview it was almost 3 o'clock in the morning. Alex was about to ask the nurses if he could sleep for a couple of hours when he spotted Tom's parents and Marco speaking to Felix and Kai in the corridor outside Tom's room. His mother was in tears and kept wiping her eyes with a tissue. His father and Marco looked pale and concerned as they listened to Felix explaining what had happened. His brother was the first to notice Alex staring at them from a distance. Marco was frozen on the spot, his face expressionless and exhausted. Alex decided to ignore him, he felt too traumatised to have an argument.

As he slowly approached Tom's family and the boys, he took a deep breath. He was trying to move as carefully as possible, biting his tongue to hide the pain he was in. 'Did you manage to see him?' He asked them hesitantly once he had reached them. His mother started crying again. 'He was asleep, we couldn't even talk to him,' Marco's eyes filled with tears of anger, 'he's been butchered man,' he shouted looking at Alex, 'I wish it had been you instead.' He added more quietly. Alex cast his eyes down and tried to remain calm despite the hurtful comment. He cleared his voice. 'The doctors have assured us that he is over the worst now and that he will recover,' he gulped, 'it will just take time.' 'This is all your fault,' Marco hissed at him, 'if he had just listened to me and left you to rot outside mum and dad's house the other day, he wouldn't be fighting for his life right now!' Alex shook his head tiredly. 'Marco, the story would have still been published and he may still have been attacked,' he felt intimidated looking at their hostile faces, 'but I can of course understand your anger and worry.' 'Marco,' Felix said gently, 'Alex saved his life. Do you realise this?' Marco stared at him in tears. 'I know he did. I know.' He whispered and cast his eyes down. 'Saved his life?', his mother shouted, 'if you hadn't lured my son into this sinful existence, none of this would have ever happened!' She spat through her teeth. 'You should be ashamed of yourself.' His father added and hugged Tom's mum, who broke down in tears again.

Alex thought of their first ever night together in Hamburg. The evening Tom had finally dared to make the first move. Alex’s heart racing at his touch and kiss. The taste of his lips and the magic they had both felt with each other that night. He almost smiled thinking about it. It seemed like a lifetime ago at that moment. He looked at Tom's parents again. How would they react if he told them that it was Tom who seduced him in the first place. 'No point bringing that one up.' He thought to himself.

'I really hope one day you'll be able to understand,' he said eventually, 'how we feel for each other. How special this really is,' Alex hesitated, 'and how much I love your son,' the family stared at him, 'but I appreciate it's perhaps a little too early for that yet.' He laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. 'You are nothing but scum,' Tom's father said angrily, 'leaving a wife and child to run off with a man! We don't want you anywhere near Tom, do you not understand that?' 'Dad,' Marco said suddenly and put his arm around him, 'let's get a coffee somewhere, come on.' Alex, Felix and Kai exchanged a look.

'Do you believe in God?' Mr Stiller asked the boys after a long pause. Felix was the first to react and laughed out loud in despair. 'No, as a matter of fact I don't.' 'I do.' Kai said quietly looking at Tom's father. 'Then you will know and believe in his word. The holy bible,' Mr Stiller said. Alex just wanted to run away from this whole conversation. Kai looked at Tom's father with questioning eyes, 'a man shall not lie with another man.' Mr Stiller said and gave Alex an angry look. Felix and Alex shook their heads. 'Oh that bit.' Kai said and waved his hand in the air as if he was playing down the importance. 'Yes. That bit.' Tom's father was fuming. Kai looked at him with gentle eyes. 'It also says one should get killed for eating shellfish and working on a Sunday,' he paused as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, 'I assume you support the death penalty for those sorts of devilish acts too?' Alex nearly choked. Mr Stiller was only getting angrier provoked by Kai's words. 'It is a deadly sin!', he shouted at him, 'Tom will go to hell for it if we don't stop it and make him repent.' 'Dad,' Marco started pulling him away from the boys, 'come on, let's not get into this.' 'What a lot of nonsense,' Kai shook his head, 'you see, the God I believe in isn't as petty and pathetic as your God. My God is all about love and kindness. And he doesn't give a shit about gender.' Felix nodded in agreement. 'Your son is in love with someone who worships the ground he walks on. Alex and Tom are the closest friends and soul mates I have ever met,' Felix looked at him sadly, 'what on earth could be so wrong about their relationship?', he paused, 'you will lose Tom if you don't at least try to accept it.' Tom's father took a deep breath and stared at the boys with angry eyes. 'We shall see about that.' He finally said and Marco led him away without saying another word.

Felix exhaled deeply and shook his head. Alex hugged both boys tightly. 'Oh man,' Kai laughed out loud, Alex and Felix looked at him in surprise, 'seriously. You wouldn't believe any of this if anyone told you, would you?' The boys chuckled quietly together. 'Come on, you need some rest as well now Alex. Let's put you to bed for a couple of hours.' Felix said and supported him, slowly taking him to the room he was treated in earlier. 'I'll head home,' Kai said and yawned, 'I'll check back on him tomorrow. Get some rest Alex.' Felix and Alex waved and continued to walk towards Alex’s hospital room.

Alex sighed with relief and pure exhaustion as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Felix smiled at him and brushed over his hair. 'Come on, I'll help you take your jumper off but the rest you're going to have to do yourself,' Alex laughed quietly but the pain hit him again. Felix carefully took Alex’s jumper and T-Shirt off. He pulled a face when he saw his injuries again, 'nasty.' He mumbled. Alex checked his upper body. 'Nothing compared to what they did to Tommy.' Felix looked at him. 'You're a hero Alex,' Alex laughed out loud and shook his head. Felix smiled at him gently, 'you saved his life. Don't ever forget that.' Alex took a deep breath and he started feeling sad again. 'But in the end I couldn't protect him from getting stabbed,' he gulped, 'you know, when they started hassling us I shouted at him to run away. Twice! I wish he had just listened.' Alex shook his head in agony. Felix sat down next to him. He put one arm around his shoulder. 'Would you have run?', he asked him gently. Alex stared at him, 'would you have run away and left him Alex?', Alex hesitated. Then he shook his head. Felix smiled at him and nodded, 'see,' he hugged him carefully, 'sleep now. I'll head home as well but I'll come back again tomorrow too. Give me a shout obviously if you need anything.' Alex looked at him with grateful eyes and watched him leave the room. He exhaled deeply and let himself fall back on the bed. He was too tired to move again and take his jeans off. And as soon as he closed his eyes, he fell asleep.

The whole of Germany woke up to the sad and shocking news. Tom stabbed and Alex injured after they had been assaulted in a homophobic attack. Two important and loved figures in German football had become the victim of violence because of their relationship. And it had happened right at the heart of a country that was proud of its liberal views and attitudes towards homosexuality in general. The news sent shock waves through the nation and it was going to be a wake-up call to no longer turn a blind eye on homophobia in football. Things had gone too far.

'Mr Hanisch,' Doctor Schwarz gently placed his hand on Alex’s shoulder trying to wake him, 'Mr Hanisch.' He said again. Alex jumped. 'Tommy?' He mumbled as he woke up. He wiped his eyes and was breathing hard. The doctor smiled at him. 'How are you feeling? I see you managed to get some sleep,' Alex looked at him confused and disorientated, 'I'm sorry to wake you but I thought you'd want to know that Mr Stiller is conscious again and has asked to see you.' Doctor Schwarz said gently and smiled again. Alex gasped. 'He..., he can speak?' 'He seems a lot better already this morning. His parents were with him until now,' Alex’s heart sank. He cast his eyes down and nodded.

The doctor sat down next to him, 'forgive me if I'm perhaps being intrusive, I don't mean to be....' Alex smiled at him. 'Go on, ask away.' 'It seems that Mr Stiller's parents are very much against your relationship,' Alex nodded silently, 'they have asked me to not let you see him,' Alex stared at him in disbelief. His heart started racing and he was about to protest but then Doctor Schwarz continued, 'I know what you are going to say, Mr Hanisch, and I fully agree with you. Don't worry, legally your partner can decide for himself who is allowed to visit him in hospital and who isn't now he is conscious. I just had to let you know, that's all.' Alex was speechless. 'Will they ever stop fighting me?' He gulped. 'Give them some time,' Doctor Schwarz patted his back, 'I'll take you to his room.'

'You don't seem to have a problem with it,' Alex said suddenly, 'you have been nothing but kind and understanding to us. Why can't everyone just deal with it.' He grunted. The doctor turned towards Alex. 'Perhaps I have learnt my lesson in life,' he took a deep breath, 'I have lost someone I loved very much. My wife died of cancer three years ago.' 'Oh God, I'm sorry.' Alex whispered and felt bad. 'No, no, that's okay. What I'm trying to say is that I know what it feels like to lose someone you love. And if two people love each other then I think they should be able to enjoy life together. It doesn't matter surely if it's not a man and a woman.' Alex looked at him. 'Do you have children Doctor Schwarz?' He asked him. The doctor nodded. 'I do,' he smiled, 'two in fact. My son is 18 and my daughter is 15. 'If your children ever fall in love with their best friend, please be kind to them.' Alex smiled cheekily. The doctor laughed. 'And how is your son Mr Hanisch?' Alex gulped thinking of Max. 'Oh,' he took a deep breath fighting back tears, 'he's with his mum. I haven't seen him for a few weeks. Things are a little difficult.' He took deep breaths. 'But you followed your heart,' Doctor Schwarz said quietly, 'that's very important. Your son will love you regardless, believe me. He'll still feel how much he means to you even if you are not always there physically.' Alex nodded and smiled. 'Thank you, you're awesome.'

Alex quietly entered Tom's room. He carefully peeked his head around the door before he went in. When their eyes met, Alex’s heart jumped. Tom's beaten face lit up as Alex stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him. 'Alex.' Tom whispered and he managed to lift his hand slightly and stretch it out towards him. Alex carefully walked to his bedside, every step still hurt. He gently took his hand and smiled at him. 'Hey,' he said gazing at his friend, 'how are you feeling?', Tom took deep breaths and his eyes filled with tears, 'hey,' Alex sat down on a chair by his bed, 'shhh, Tommy,' he became worried and gently stroked his cheeks, 'are you okay? Are you in pain?', Tom struggled to speak but shook his head as the tears started streaming down his face, 'Tommy, what is it?', Alex squeezed his hand and kissed his lips gently. He knew then that Tom had been waiting and dying for this kiss. It became more and more passionate and Alex kept stroking Tom's cheeks relishing every second of this moment, 'I can't believe I still have you,' Alex whispered still kissing Tom, 'I thought I'd lost you,' he looked at his friend, 'I have never been so scared in my life Tommy.' Tom placed one finger on his friend's lips and smiled at him lovingly. 'They didn't quite manage to finish me off, hmm?' Tom said quietly, his voice still weak. Alex kissed his forehead and wiped the tears off his friend's cheeks. 'I told you they won't bring us down. Not us.' He smiled and Tom was going to laugh but his injuries didn't allow him to. Alex squeezed his hand.

'It seems you're my hero,' Tom said as he carefully touched Alex’s cuts and bruises again, 'the doctor said you saved my life,' Alex shook his head and felt embarrassed, 'not so humble Mr Hanisch.' Tom brushed over his hair. 'But I couldn't protect you.' Alex said as he stared at Tom seriously. Tom sighed. 'Neither could I. Look at you,' he touched his swollen cheeks again, 'look what they've done to you.' Alex forced a laugh and shook his head in disbelief. 'This is so typical of you. Always thinking of me first.' He said and Tom smiled and squeezed his hand.

'I wish it was me lying here instead of you.' Alex had closed his eyes and took deep breaths. 'How dare you say that.' Tom gently held his head. He kissed him again. 'It's true though Tommy. Your brother is right. And Kai and everyone who wished it could be the other way round.' Tom frowned at him confused and hurt. 'What are you talking about? They said this to you?' He started breathing harder. 'How can I be possibly making you happy Tommy? I cause you nothing but grief and pain. You nearly died because of me for Christ's sake,' Alex shouted as he started crying and bit his lip in agony, 'perhaps your family is right. Perhaps I should just stay away from you.' He gasped for air under his tears.

Tom was getting stressed and looked at him anxiously. 'Alex, what the hell are you talking about? Will you stop this nonsense right now', he squeezed his hand again and pulled his head towards him. He looked into his eyes, 'please,' he whispered, 'why would you listen to a word they're saying to you? Didn't you just tell me no-one can bring us down? Hmm? My family don't understand. Nothing new there. I don't know what the hell Kai was on about, but all that doesn't matter,' he desperately kissed Alex, who welcomed his friend's soft lips, 'are you perhaps interested in what I think? Hmm?', Tom asked him. Alex laughed again in despair and ran his hand through his hair, 'well I couldn't care less about what everyone else thinks. You are everything I ever wanted. This is our life and I swear what happened to us last night will only make me even more determined to fight for us,' Alex stared at him in tears, 'I love you, you stupid idiot. Will you now just shut up for God's sake?'

Tom suddenly took deep breaths and held his side. He was grimacing in pain. 'Tommy?' Alex had jumped up and stared at him in fear. 'It's alright,' Tom was trying to play down the wave of agony that had hit his body all of a sudden. He grabbed Alex’s hand, 'it's alright.' 'Let me get the doctor.' Alex said in panic and was about to make a move. 'No, I'm fine,' Tom shook his head but was breathing hard as he was trying to control the pain. Alex gently brushed over his friend's forehead, which was covered in sweat, 'listen to me,' Tom mumbled and looked at Alex intently, 'I never want to hear anything like this ever again, is that clear?', Alex was helplessly staring at his friend and clutching his cold hand, 'promise me Alex.' Tom was forcing his words out at this point, still breathing hard. His face turned paler and paler. 'I promise', Alex gulped and Tom smiled with relief still holding his side, 'I'm getting the doctor.'

Alex ran out of the room and stormed down the corridor. He had forgotten about his own injuries again. He grabbed the first nurse he saw. 'Please, can you get Doctor Schwarz. Quick. Tommy is in pain.' He explained hectically and out of breath. Then he ran back into Tom's room, sat down by his bed and squeezed and kissed his hand again. 'He's coming, he's coming now. You'll be alright.' Tom had closed his eyes gasping for air. 'Man, are you trying to kill me or what?' He mumbled and forced a laugh. Alex was worried sick again by that point and kept kissing his friend's hand.

'What is going on?', Doctor Schwarz entered the room at a fast pace. He checked the monitors around Tom with concern. He pulled up the duvet and examined the dressing of his wound before he took his pulse and felt his forehead, 'he's exhausted. His body has gone into total spasms. What happened?' Alex had stood up to make room for the doctor. 'I'm an idiot.' He mumbled. 'At least he learnt something today.' Tom joked as he was convulsed with pain. 'Mr Hanisch would you please leave the room. It seems you have caused enough damage here.' Alex stared but Tom smiled at him. 'Go. I'll feel better in a few minutes. Don't worry.' He winked at him as Doctor Schwarz prepared an injection. 'Now Mr Hanisch.' The doctor sounded assertive. Alex was going to protest but thought better of it in the end. He slowly and reluctantly left the room and closed the door behind him.

'Okay, let's get you to relax Mr Stiller. This will help you feel better,' Tom was still breathing hard as Doctor Schwarz gave him an injection, 'there we are,' he placed two fingers on Tom's neck and checked his watch. Tom's breathing slowly became calmer and his pulse steadier again. He had closed his eyes with exhaustion, 'this wasn't what we had agreed. We agreed that you would rest.' He gave Tom a disapproving look over the rim of his glasses. 'I know, I know.' Tom whispered and opened his eyes again. 'Feeling better?' Doctor Schwarz asked him. 'Much better thank you.' He licked his dry lips and the doctor supported his neck to help him drink some tea. 'Come on, just a few gulps,' he smiled at him gently as he made him drink. Tom took sips from the cup and pulled a face after every gulp, 'one more.' 'I hate peppermint tea.' Tom mumbled as he took the final sip. 'Well done,' Doctor Schwarz put the cup down and let Tom's head rest back on the pillow, 'what tea do you like?' 'I much prefer coffee actually.' Tom smiled cheekily. 'Hmm,' Doctor Schwarz sounded unimpressed, 'not for a little while yet I think.' Tom nodded and sighed.

'So do I need to ban your partner from this room after all? How come you got so worked up?' The doctor asked with concern. 'No, no need to ban him,' Tom said quietly, 'he's an idiot. He listens to what my stupid family and friends say to him,' he looked at the doctor seriously, 'and now he is starting to think he is no good for me.' 'I see.' Doctor Schwarz perched on Tom's bed. 'But I need him more than anyone in the world. I don't care what everyone else thinks. And neither should he.' The doctor smiled at him. 'Perhaps he only wants the best for you and he's making sure that you have considered all your options?' Tom forced a laugh. 'Not being with Alex is not an option for me. I can't do this without him. That much I know.' Doctor Schwarz gently patted his shoulder.

There was a knock on the door. 'Come in.' The doctor raised his voice. Alex carefully peeked his head around the door again and Tom smiled at him. 'Can I come back in?' He gulped as he stared at them both. 'Only if you behave.' Doctor Schwarz said in a serious voice. Alex nodded and closed the door behind him. 'How are you feeling?' He whispered as he walked towards Tom's bed. 'It depends if you are still suggesting that I'm better off without you,' Tom said and Alex cast his eyes down, 'come here.' Tom whispered exhaustedly and stretched his hand out towards him. Alex grabbed and squeezed it hard. The boys looked at each other lovingly and Doctor Schwarz laughed quietly to himself. He walked towards the window and looked outside. 'Ah, this is quite impressive. The number of people will increase throughout the day no doubt,' he turned towards the boys again, who looked at him confused, 'have you seen this?' Alex and Tom frowned at each other. Then Alex joined Doctor Schwarz by the window and was stunned by the amount of cards and flowers he could see by the entrance of the hospital that had been left in support for the boys. Some people just dropped messages off, others stayed behind, anxiously waiting for more news. 'Tommy,' he whispered, 'I think we should put the news on. You've got to see this.'

Over the next two weeks, the boys watched in astonishment at the amount of media coverage the attack had triggered. Whilst the whole country was still on the hunt for the four assaulters, which the public fervently backed and supported with clues and evidence they were supplying to the police, it seemed like the attack itself had been the last straw and a high profile debate in general had been triggered as a result. People from all over Germany were travelling to Dortmund to express their support for the boys and, just like Alex had seen for himself, they brought flowers and cards and left them by the hospital.

Once Alex felt better, he made sure that he spent some time with his fans outside every day, giving autographs, posing for photos and updating them on Tom's recovery. He was moved by the amount of goodwill and support he experienced and he wished Tom could also be there and see for himself. Alex gave interviews to the newspapers and explained that he hoped that the extreme situation they had found themselves in would start changing hearts and minds within football for the better and that more and more people would be able to accept that a relationship between two male footballers wasn't a scandal or anything abnormal but just an everyday love story between two people.

In news debates and forums presidents of football clubs as well as politicians voiced their anger at the attack and discussed ways of helping gay footballers to give them more support if they did decide to come out. Several gay-friendly charities started organising events and festivals across the country over the coming weeks and months and invited music bands to play in support of the boys and gay athletes and sportsmen in general. The tickets sold out within hours and all money was donated to charity. The public was making the most of the power of social media, passionately debating on numerous blogs and chat rooms about how gay footballers could be more protected in future.

Whilst the events in the outside world were taking place, Alex stayed in hospital with Tom to fully recover from his own injuries as well as be close to his friend. He was in no rush to go back to Hamburg until he was fit again to start training. To his relief, Tom was recovering well and became stronger and smilier by the day. With Alex’s help, he managed to get out of bed once or twice a day and take a few steps around his room. Doctor Schwarz had organised an Xbox for them to help make the time pass quicker and the boys played games every day, which by force, both had become experts in. Felix and Kai also made an effort to see them as much as possible after training sessions and filled Tom in on the latest news from his club.

With Tom's physical recovery came his increased determination of standing up for the boys' relationship. So had he refused to see his family again after they had started another argument in one of their visits. Tom had become so frustrated, he had asked them to leave the room. Alex had felt bad but he knew better now not to challenge Tom again and cause another debate about whether their relationship was worth the argument with his family. Christine had once also tried to visit Tom, but he had not been interested and had refused to see her. Alex had tried to convince him to at least hear her out but Tom had stood firm by his decision.

The day before Tom was finally due to be discharged from hospital and go back home, Alex was in his room as usual. They were having fun playing Xbox games against each other. When Alex lost, he threw the control on Tom's bed in frustration. 'Rubbish! I can't believe you beat me every time in this game. And always at the last minute as well!' Alex said. Tom giggled punching his fist in the air in victory. He gently took Alex’s hand and pulled him off his chair. Alex smiled at him and perched on his bed. He gently stroked his cheeks and kissed him.

'So,' Alex said and looked into his eyes, 'time for you to finally get back to normal again.' 'About time,' Tom sighed, 'I need to get out of here otherwise I go mad.' Alex stroked his forehead. 'I have to go back to Hamburg Tommy,' Alex said quietly and gulped, 'I need to start training again from next week.' He cast his eyes down but Tom smiled at him. 'I know, about time you did some work.' He said and Alex chuckled. 'What about you though?', he asked, 'who can look after you until I can come back?' Tom rolled his eyes jokingly. 'I'll be fine by myself.' Alex stared at him. 'No, no, no, we're not even going there. What if something happens to you? You're still weak. Out of the question,' Tom smiled and kissed him, 'Tommy, I'm serious,' Alex gave him a look. He took a deep breath, 'perhaps you can stay at your parents'?' Tom stared at him in disbelief. 'What?' He forced a laugh. 'Well, at least they would look after you. Your mum would be delighted,' Alex stroked his hair, 'perhaps it would help mend your relationship with them.' 'No thanks.' Tom laughed. 'Tommy,' Alex said, 'just think about it for a moment.' 'Oh okay. Oh wait. I have!', Tom chuckled, 'the answer is no.' Alex sighed and rested his head on Tom's stomach looking up at him. 'Why are you so stubborn?' He closed his eyes. Tom stroked his hair. 'Because you wouldn't be crazy about me otherwise.' He gave him a cheeky wink.

'I have another idea.' Tom said and smiled at his friend. 'Oh yeah? Better be a good one.' Alex mumbled. Tom giggled. 'Who says I can only recover in Dortmund?' Alex looked at him confused. 'No-one, but...' 'But what?' Tom grabbed his friend's arms and pulled him on top of him in bed. Alex gasped at him. 'Take me home with you Alex,' Tom whispered and looked into his eyes, 'it's the only way you can look after me, right?' Alex stared at him and then forced a laugh. His heart was racing with joy and excitement. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. 'What?', he asked Tom quietly, 'you want to come back to Hamburg with me? But all your friends are here, your family...' 'Not you though,' Tom interrupted him and smiled, 'I want to be where you are,' Alex was still in shock. He hadn't dared even think about the possibility of Tom coming back with him. Tom looked at him unsure, 'I have to say I was expecting a bit more of a reaction of, say, joy?', he gulped and became nervous. That comment finally made Alex snap out of it. He started beaming and kissed Tom passionately, full of excitement. He hugged and squeezed his friend and Tom started laughing, 'that's better!' He said smiling at him happily. Alex took his hand and kissed it. 'I'd love to look after you', he rubbed his nose against Tom's, 'and we can finally test out our new bed together too.' He whispered quietly as he kissed his chuckling friend again lovingly.

The boys were decided. They filled Doctor Schwarz in on their plans, who thought it was a feasible idea. He briefed both of them on the necessary daily treatments for Tom. Alex was making a note of his friend's medicine intake and watched attentively of how he was to look after the stab wound and change the dressing. The hospital organised Tom's transfer in a helicopter from Dortmund to Hamburg for the next day and Alex was invited to fly home with him. Kai and Felix weren't thrilled when Tom explained their decision to them but accepted that it seemed like the best idea until Tom was able to join his team again back in Dortmund. Kai went to Tom's flat and packed their clothes and Felix returned Alex’s hire car to the airport.

The flight to Hamburg hospital and the journey from there in an ambulance was exhausting for Tom. Alex was getting concerned for his wellbeing and was glad when they had finally reached his house. He was surprised how relieved he felt when he found himself back in a familiar environment. The paramedics carried Tom into Alex’s house and put him to bed. They agreed with Alex the time of day a doctor would be making routine visits. Alex exhaled with relief when they had gone and went upstairs to the bedroom to check on his friend.

Tom was looking pale and exhausted but smiled sleepily when he saw him come into the room. 'Hey', Alex collapsed next to him on the bed, 'welcome to your new home.' He took Tom's hand. 'I can't wait for a tour tomorrow.' Tom said and took a deep breath. 'This was all a bit much for you, hmm?' Alex stroked Tom's hair and kissed him. Tom had closed his eyes and relaxed at Alex’s gentle touch. 'I'm so tired Alex.' He mumbled. 'So am I! Thank God we're home. I'll get you ready for bed and then you can sleep as long as you want to tomorrow.' Alex said and kissed his hair.

Just before Tom was about to fall asleep, Alex very carefully undressed him ensuring his wound was still clean and dressed. He almost felt emotional seeing and touching Tom's body again after two weeks. He gently stroked his shoulders and chest but couldn't help getting angry whenever he spotted remaining bruises on him as evidence of what had happened to them. As he was touching his friend's skin, Alex desperately tried to fight any feelings of desire for him. Tom smiled as he briefly opened his eyes again. 'That feels good.' He whispered. Alex kissed him gently as he forced to control himself and tucked Tom in under the duvet. 'I'm still crazy about you.' He gulped and closed his eyes. Tom laughed quietly as he stroked his cheeks. 'That's a relief,' he hugged him tightly, 'haven't gone off me just yet, hmm?' Alex gazed at him as Tom was forced to close his eyes again and watched him fall asleep. He smiled to himself as he kept stroking his cheeks and hair and felt grateful to have him home.

Chapter 9

Alex was wide awake at about 5 o'clock in the morning. He hadn't slept well as he had kept sitting up countless number of times during the night to check Tom was alright and still breathing calmly next to him. Alex was contently watching him still fast asleep and kissed his friend before he got dressed and sleepily went downstairs into his living room. He took a look around and realised that it felt like a long time since he was last here. Max's room was still ready to welcome him with toys and games whenever the time was right. Alex gulped sadly and closed his son's bedroom door. 'One step at a time.' He told himself.

He took a deep breath and got to work. He unpacked his and Tom's clothes, sorted his friend's medicine in the kitchen and placed all bandages and wound dressings in the bathroom. By that time it was almost 7 o'clock in the morning and whilst he was trying to make some breakfast for them with the little food he actually had in the house and preparing Tom's medication at the same time, his mobile rang. 'Hey Anna,' Alex said cheerfully, 'I just thought of you.' His sister laughed into the phone. 'Oh yeah, why? What do you need?' Alex chuckled. 'Well, I was wondering if you fancied looking after Tommy for a couple of hours today while I'm at training. I don't want to leave him alone here just yet.' Alex bit his lip desperately hoping she'd say yes. Anna laughed. 'Oh I see! Anything else?' 'Yeah. Breakfast would be good.' Alex said and grinned. 'You are nothing but trouble. I'm on my way.' 'Oh I love you!' Alex cheered as he hung up. He punched his fist in the air and focussed back on Tom's medication.

'Do you have a new man already? I swear I'll beat him up.' Alex stopped short in shock as he heard Tom joke and breathe hard behind him. 'Tommy!', he turned around and saw him in Alex’s dressing gown exhaustedly leaning against the hand rail at the bottom of the staircase, 'Jesus, are you crazy?,' he stormed towards him and held him in his arms, 'what are you doing up by yourself?' Tom put his arms around his neck and was gratefully leaning onto his friend. 'I just wanted to see the house. And what you're up to.' Tom said and smiled but the exhaustion of his little excursion was already visible in his face. Alex kissed him hectically. 'Christ, Tommy. You are still weak. You could have fallen down those stairs and break your bloody neck.' He cursed as he kissed him again. 'I didn't though, did I?' Tom laughed triumphantly. Alex tutted but couldn't help but smile at him. 'You want a tour? You can have a tour.' He picked him up gently and carried him into every room whilst Tom was chuckling with laughter. 'Put me down, Alex, Jesus! I'm not a girl!' He protested giggling. Alex gave him a look and kept carrying him around.

The tour ended back upstairs in the bedroom and Tom moaned being put back into bed. 'I know this room already!' He complained. Alex was breathing hard from carrying his friend. 'Moon on a stick, is it?', Tom laughed and propped himself up on his elbows, 'right. I'm going to finish preparing your medication downstairs. Alone,' Alex said and touched his nose gently, 'then I'll bring it up to you and we'll wash you and dress your wound while my heaven-sent sister is bringing us some sort of food. I'm bloody starving.' Tom smiled shyly. 'I hope I won't be too much hard work for you.' He said nervously. 'You already are!' Alex laughed and kissed him passionately.

The first attempt of a wash had both boys in stitches and tears of laughter. Alex carefully washed his friend's back, arms, neck and hair and Tom was sitting in the bath causing havoc, giggling all the way through. 'Oh man, I feel like I'm four again!' 'That's because you are behaving like it. Stop making such a fuss! We mustn't get your wound wet.' Alex shouted and laughed as he washed the shampoo out of Tom's hair. He wrapped him in a big towel and supported him as they were slowly walking back towards the bed.

Alex made him lie down on his back as he carefully changed the dressing on his side. The cut was visible as a long red aggressive line on Tom's pale skin and Alex couldn't even count the endless amount of stitches that had saved his friend's life that night. Tom watched Alex concentrate on the task at hand with a smile. 'How's it looking?' He asked him. 'Check it out,' Alex nodded at him. Tom inspected it carefully and pulled a face, 'it's healing nicely though.' Alex said and kissed him. He was pleased with himself once Tom was sorted with a clean bandage and dressed in some jeans and a warm jumper.

Alex sat down on the bed with a sigh. 'I'm exhausted now.' He said and laughed. Tom smiled at him gratefully. 'Thank you,' he whispered, 'not the sexiest side of me, hey?' He laughed quietly. Alex took a deep breath and lay down next to him. He stroked his cheek. 'You're the sexiest man alive. Nothing will ever change that.' He grinned and kissed him lovingly as he started stroking his stomach, slowly unbuttoning his jeans again. Tom gasped and held his head smiling at him. 'Hey, you only just got me dressed.' He chuckled. As Alex slowly continued and let his hand slip into his friend's boxer shorts, Tom closed his eyes and started moaning quietly and kissing Alex lustfully.

'Alex,' Tom stopped him and gulped, 'I can't. This body is too bloody weak still.' He looked nervous. 'I know,' Alex stroked his cheeks, 'but I can still make you feel good.' He grinned and slowly pulled Tom's jeans and boxers down before he kissed his stomach carefully, conscious of the stab wound on his side. He smiled at his friend breathing harder and then lay down on his front, holding on to Tom's thighs, as he relished going down on him. Finally, after all this time of pain, he could help him feel some pleasure again and when he heard him moan with lust and taste him shortly afterwards, Alex experienced the same moment of excitement. He stifled a moan and shivered kissing the inside of his friend's thighs gently. 'Alex,' Tom grabbed his arms and pulled him up towards him. He kissed him and stroked his hair, 'that felt so good,' he whispered breathlessly into his ear, 'are you okay?' Alex giggled quietly and nodded. 'Told you. You drive me crazy.' He said licking his lips. Tom smiled at him. 'Perhaps best get changed though before your sis turns up.' He whispered in his ear again and both boys giggled hugging each other tightly.

When Alex arrived at training that morning, he felt odd and out of place being finally back at his club after three weeks. His team mates were all pleased to see him though, which was a relief. His managers and coach welcomed him back but briefed him on a press conference that had been organised straight after the training session. Alex felt most nervous about the fans who had gathered at the football ground wanting to watch him train on his first day back. He gulped as the boys started their warm up and Alex could indeed hear some people shout out abuse or laugh at him. The club had prepared for this, however, and anyone making homophobic remarks was banned and asked to leave by security. Whilst this made Alex feel safer, he was disappointed to learn that despite of what had happened to them, the boys would still have to suffer through all kinds of abuse for a while yet.

Alex dutifully attended the press conference and answered as many questions as he was told to. Some were about his future at the club, some about the upcoming World Cup and of course about his relationship with Tom. Alex played cool and stayed calm at some of the irritating questions. 'The police still haven't caught the attackers. Do you think there is any hope of ever finding them now Mr Hanisch?' 'What is it like still being hassled by fans because of your homosexuality Mr Hanisch?' 'How long will your relationship with Mr Stiller last if you ultimately play for two different clubs Mr Hanisch?'

Alex felt exhausted when he drove back home that afternoon and his head was spinning. As he was trying to forget about it all and started looking forward to seeing Tom at home, he thought of his son. He hadn't seen him in weeks and was getting desperate. He decided to be brave and take the first step. He felt nervous when he dialled her number. After a few rings Emma picked up the phone. 'Hey,' Alex said quietly, 'how are you?' He asked her carefully. 'Hey,' Emma responded in a distant tone of voice, 'I'm okay. How are you feeling? I saw you are back in Hamburg now?' Alex hesitated. 'Yes, yes. We both are,' he took a deep breath, 'Tommy is still recovering and needs looking after.' There was an awkward pause. 'I'm sorry about what happened to you both Alex,' Emma said quietly, 'despite everything, I really am truly sorry.' Alex gulped. 'Thank you Em, that means a lot to me. I know...,' he gasped for air, 'no, I can only imagine how hard all this must be for you,' they both didn't speak for a moment, 'do you..., do you want to come round for dinner tonight?', Alex still felt nervous, 'Anna is over at mine and, and...' he struggled for words, 'I would love to see you.' Emma laughed in disbelief. 'Oh Alex, you have always been a rubbish liar. You want to see Max. Not me. I'd rather you just say.' 'Well, I want to see both of you of course.' Alex explained and started sweating with stress. 'You have a nerve. I don't want to see your new happy home with Tommy. I really don't. So no, I won't come for dinner.' She laughed again in disbelief. Alex was kicking himself for having even made the suggestion. 'Of course not, no,' he said quickly, 'I understand, sure. I could come and see you though? Tonight or tomorrow perhaps?,' he gulped and was close to tears, 'please Em, please we agreed I could see him. I miss him so much.' He was whispering into the phone in despair. Emma was hesitant. 'I'll call you tomorrow and we can arrange something.' Alex nodded as the tears started rolling down his cheeks. 'Sure.' He said bravely. 'Bye Alex.' She hung up.

By the time Alex had arrived back at his house it had almost got dark. He felt disheartened after his conversation with Emma and took a minute to gather his thoughts before he got out of the car and slowly walked towards his house. Once he had entered he could hear Anna and Tom chatting and laughing in the lounge. His heart lifted immediately and he dropped his bag of clothes on the floor and made his way upstairs. 'Ah you're back!', Anna stood up and hugged him, 'good first day in the office?' She winked at him. 'Hmm, so so.' Alex smiled at her. 'Tommy and I had a great day. I'll go and make us some dinner.' She said cheerfully as she made her way into the kitchen.

Tom was wrapped in a blanket on the sofa. He looked happy with some fruit juice in the one and the television remote control in the other hand. 'Hey,' he beamed at his friend and Alex stormed towards him. He threw himself on the sofa next to him and hugged and kissed him lovingly, 'hey, hey, it's only been a few hours, you know.' Tom giggled surprised. 'Yeah well it feels like days to me.' Alex smiled at him cheekily and kissed him again. 'Good day?', Tom asked looking into his eyes. Alex nodded and smiled, 'liar,' Tom nudged his thigh, 'what happened?', Alex shook his head, 'I saw the press conference. I thought you did well.' Tom smiled gently stroking his hair. He kept looking at him. Alex tried to change the subject. 'How are you? How is your wound?' He quickly checked Tom's side under the blanket. 'I'm fine. Feeling a bit weak still. But your sister is the perfect nurse, I was better looked after than by you.' He grinned at him. 'Ah,' Alex stared at him with wide eyes, 'is that so?' He gently stroked his legs and laughed.

Tom switched the television off and took his hand. He looked at him again. 'Come on tell me.' 'There is nothing to say!' Alex laughed. 'Alex, I know you better than you know yourself. I can tell there is something on your mind. Tell me what happened.' Alex sighed and got himself a glass of fruit juice as well. He took a sip. 'I spoke to Em. I tried to get her to come over with Max.' 'And?' Tom looked at him anxiously. 'She doesn't want to come here.' He took another sip. 'That's understandable,' Tom nodded sadly, 'can you not go and see her?' 'Well that's the thing. Then she started being vague about that. She said she'd call me tomorrow to arrange something. I don't know,' he rubbed his forehead in frustration. Tom carefully sat up and hugged his friend tightly. He kissed his cheek and held him. Alex was breathing hard as he started feeling emotional, 'I miss him so much Tommy.' He squeezed his friend and started crying. 'I know,' Tom whispered and was gently stroking his back, 'I know.'

Alex took a deep breath and wiped the tears off his cheeks. 'Look at me,' he laughed, 'I'm turning into a soppy old man.' Tom smiled at him. 'You always have been a bit soppy,' he winked at him and they both laughed. Tom kissed him gently, 'it will be okay. Give her a bit more time. Em knows how you feel. She won't do this to you or Max for that matter. I'm convinced of it.' Alex looked into his eyes and nodded. He also told him about the heckling of some fans at the football ground and Tom listened with concern. He encouraged him to keep focussing on his work and playing brilliantly. 'That will make them shut up ultimately,' Tom said and kissed him again, 'they won't bring us down. Remember?' He winked at him and Alex laughed. By the time Anna was serving dinner he had managed to cheer his friend up again and Alex felt grateful to have both Tom and his sister with him.

Anna had enjoyed herself so much that day she offered to help the boys out for the whole week as well as supervise the doctor's visits monitoring Tom's recovery progress. The boys happily accepted the offer. Tom was pleased about having some company and Alex was relieved Tom was looked after by someone he could fully trust. 'And once your stitches are out next week you should already feel much better,' Alex said gently and took his hand, 'we'll hire a coach and if the doctor agrees you can slowly start training again in the gym downstairs,' he smiled, 'we'll have you fit again in no time,' Tom smiled unsure but Alex kissed him tenderly, 'don't you dare let me down. If you think I'm playing at the World Cup without you then you better think again.' He muttered and they all laughed.

Over the next few days Alex tried to make contact with Emma again but every time he did, he only got through to her voicemail. Despite him leaving messages to call him back, almost a week had gone by without him hearing anything from her and he became increasingly worried and frustrated about it. The only thing that made Alex feel better was the fact that Tom's recovery was making good progress and he was getting more and more mobile around the house.

Alex’s club were playing at home on the Sunday, which meant the boys had the Saturday to relax together. Tom made every effort to help his friend put his mind off his son and the upcoming match. He also decided to cook for them that night and was finding his way round Alex’s kitchen.

Alex kept an eye on him and smiled to himself watching Tom busy preparing dinner. 'About time you put some work into this relationship again.' He said as he put his arms around him from behind and kissed his cheek. Tom giggled and hit him playfully. 'Idiot.' He laughed. Alex inhaled his scent and kissed his hair. 'It's not so bad being back in Hamburg, hey?' Tom turned towards him and hugged him. 'I'll survive.' He sighed jokingly and winked at him. As they continued chatting to each other, the door bell rang. Alex moaned. 'Oh who the hell is that? Anna didn't say she was coming tonight, did she?' He kissed Tom's cheek and went to answer the door.

'Em?' Alex couldn't believe his eyes when he saw her outside his house with Max on her arm. He was so surprised he didn't know what to say. 'Daddy!' Max beamed at him and stretched his arms out towards him. 'Baby.' Alex whispered and laughed in disbelief. He looked at Emma unsure, who smiled at him nervously. She slowly passed Max to him and Alex grabbed and hugged him tightly. The child was giggling and smiling excitedly. Alex kissed him over and over again. 'Can I come in?' She asked quietly. Alex smiled at her. 'Yes, sure. Of course!', he waved her in and closed the door, 'I tried to call you all week. Are you okay?' He asked gently. 'Yeah, I'm fine. I went away to see my parents after we spoke,' she took a deep breath, 'I just needed to think. You know,' Alex nodded. Max was laughing and kept touching his father's face and Alex kissed his little hands and couldn't stop smiling, 'nice house.' Emma said sadly. Alex felt awkward and didn't know how to respond. Still, he was glad to see her and hugged her tightly. 'Thank you for coming. You have no idea how much this means to me.' He whispered and they both smiled at each other nervously. Alex invited her to come upstairs and went into the kitchen carrying his son on his arm.

'Look who is here with daddy Max?' 'Uncle Tommy!' Max exclaimed. Tom turned around and gasped at them. 'Max!' He laughed in disbelief and kissed his cheek as he tickled his stomach. Alex beamed at him proudly. Emma was visibly uncomfortable standing behind Alex. 'Hey Em,' Tom smiled at her gently. He slowly opened his arms and hesitantly hugged her, 'I know you won't believe me but it is so good to see you.' He looked at her and she smiled at him unsure. 'How are you? I'm sorry about what happened to you Tommy.' She shook her head. 'I'm much better, thank you,' he smiled, 'I'm.., I'm just cooking some dinner. First time I'm on my feet for more than two minutes in three weeks,' he laughed and scratched his head, 'do you want to join us? You.., you are very welcome to,' Emma felt awkward and looked at the boys nervously, 'I mean only if you want to of course,' she still didn't say anything, 'or perhaps a glass of wine would be a better start?' Tom grinned. He had broken the ice. 'Sounds good.' She smiled.

'Can I show him his room?' Alex asked her nervously and Emma nodded as she accepted a glass of wine from Tom. Alex had been waiting for this moment for so long, but hadn't brought himself to enter his son's bedroom for days. He felt excited when he finally opened the door and switched the light on. Max's eyes opened wide in awe when he saw all the new toys and games. 'This is your room,' Alex whispered into Max's ear, 'for whenever you come and stay with daddy,' Max laughed and wiggled on his father's arm so Alex sat him down on the floor and introduced him to some of his new toys. He had bought him electric race cars, Lego, puzzles and other things he knew his son would get excited about, 'and this is teddy,' Alex said and sat down next to him, 'he'll look after you when you have nightmares, just like your teddy does at home.' He hugged and kissed Max and the child was chuckling with excitement.

Emma was watching them in the doorway and tried to swallow down tears. She hectically drank a couple of sips of wine and decided to join Tom in the kitchen. He smiled at her when she appeared. 'Are you okay? This can't be easy for you,' he said quietly and Emma wiped the tears off her cheeks and took another sip of wine, 'you're an amazing woman, do you know that?', Emma laughed in despair and was clutching her wine glass, 'I never had the chance to tell you how sorry I am. Really. I hope you can forgive me one day,' Tom shook his head, 'I'm not expecting any of this to be easy. You must hate my guts!', he laughed nervously. Emma still didn't say anything, 'thank you for coming here tonight. It means the world to him.' Emma was watching him silently. 'I really want to hate you,' she said eventually, 'believe me I've tried,' Tom stared at her, 'but I can't.' She shook her head and smiled sadly as she started crying. Tom looked at her and gulped. Then he nodded at her glass. 'Top up?' He asked and Emma almost laughed.

As Tom was serving dinner, Alex set up the high chair between him and Emma and gently helped Max sit down. Emma had composed herself and despite everyone feeling awkward, they all wanted to make this work. 'What's the latest on those four guys that attacked you? Why haven't the police found them yet?' Emma asked the boys. Tom took a deep breath. 'They had a few leads but nothing concrete as yet. All this still feels so surreal I sometimes wonder if it even happened.' He laughed. 'It certainly did,' Alex muttered, 'that wound on your stomach reminds me of it every day.' Tom smiled at him gently. 'I guess it was more real for you. You had to make sure I didn't kick the bucket right there and then,' he laughed again, 'I was pretty much unconscious for the best part of a day.' Alex wanted to take his hand but thought better of it in the end and started feeding Max instead. Emma took a deep breath. 'I just wish Christine hadn't published the story.' Alex looked at Tom, waiting for his reaction. 'Yes but you are different. You have courage and a heart,' Tom said quietly. This time Alex couldn't help himself. He took his hand and squeezed it briefly, 'it's alright.' Tom smiled at his friend and quickly moved it as he started eating. Emma was watching silently. She gulped and took another sip of wine. 'Well, hopefully your so-called fans wake up and stop giving you grief on the pitch. When's the first of these charity concerts? Are you both going?' Alex nodded. 'The first one is in April, it depends how Tommy is feeling by then.'

Alex beamed at his son as he was feeding him the last few spoons of his dinner. Max wiggled in the high chair and clapped his hands. 'No, it's all gone now baby. It's all in your tummy!' Alex picked him up and the child was chuckling. 'Will you be fit in time for the World Cup Tommy?' Emma looked at Tom seriously. He took a deep breath and crossed his arms in front of his chest. 'I don't know.' He shook his head. 'I hope you can play.' Emma said quietly. 'Thank you.' Tom smiled and started clearing the table but as soon as he stood up, he suddenly gasped and moaned quietly in pain, leaning onto the table for support.

'Tommy,' Alex was alert and immediately by his side. He carefully handed his son to Emma and made Tom put his arms around his neck to support him, 'enough for today. You need to rest now. Come on.' He whispered and kissed his cheek. Tom had started breathing harder as he was leaning onto his friend. 'I'm fine. I'll...,' he was holding his side in pain, 'I'll lie down on the sofa for a bit.' Alex looked at him anxiously and helped him slowly walk to the couch.

Max was sucking his thumb following the boys with his eyes. 'What's wrong with Uncle Tommy, mummy?' Emma stroked his hair and kissed him. 'He's just tired baby, that's all.' Alex helped Tom lie down and checked his wound. Then he wrapped him in a blanket and took his hand. 'Are you alright?' 'Of course I'm alright,' Tom giggled but his face had turned paler, 'you go and spend time with Em and Max.' Alex smiled at him. 'Okay.' He said and had to control himself not to kiss him even though he really wanted to. 'I'll check the football results and tell you how badly you need to win tomorrow.' Tom winked at him and switched the television on.

Alex joined Emma back at the dinner table. He still looked worried and rubbed his forehead in frustration. 'It all comes back in a flash,' he stared ahead vacantly, 'when he has attacks like this. I see him lie there in the snow. Bleeding.' He shivered. 'It must have been traumatising for you.' Emma said quietly. Alex smiled at her. 'How are you Em?' He asked her carefully. 'Up and down,' she said bravely, 'Markus has been quite supportive. Interestingly.' She chuckled nervously. 'Markus?' Alex stared at her. 'Yes, he's been calling and dropping by every so often. It's been bizarre.' Alex gulped. 'Right,' he cleared his voice, 'and?' Emma forced a laugh. 'And what?' She looked at him confused. 'Do you like him?' Alex said, angrily grinding his teeth. He didn't dare look at her. 'Do I like him?', she almost started crying again, 'are you serious?', she shouted at him in disbelief, 'do you have any idea what you just said?' 'Emma, I'm sorry.' Alex closed his eyes and shook his head. 'I love you Alex. Do you think it's easy to watch you with Tommy? It's killing me,' Alex automatically grabbed her hand, 'and you have the nerve to ask me if I like him?', she pulled her hand away, 'you know it's fucking lonely at home. Sometimes it's just nice to see a friendly face.' She stared at him in tears. 'Emma,' Alex whispered, 'please forgive me.' He grabbed her hand again. Emma tried to control her emotions. She sat Max on her lap and kissed his hair.

Alex took a deep breath. 'There is something you should know,' he closed his eyes and told Emma about Markus' threat to the boys, why Alex had punched him in Berlin, the fact Winter had sacked him on the spot. Emma stared at Alex as she listened silently, 'that day, when he showed up, when he told you about us,' he gulped down tears, 'he hinted at Tommy that he was after you. Just before he left,' Alex was still clutching her hand, 'I have no right to interfere with your life. You don't have to listen to me,' he looked into her eyes, 'but I thought you should know.' Emma forced a laugh as she was wiping the tears off her cheeks. She took a deep breath. 'What an arsehole.' She muttered. Alex looked at her in surprise and they both started laughing together exhaustedly. Alex stared at his hands. Emma kissed Max's hair and didn't say anything for a moment. Then she composed herself and looked at Alex.

'I know that you didn't mean to hurt me and after all we have a son together, who I know you love and adore. Nothing will ever change that,' she was trying not to cry again, 'I want to make this work. Max needs his dad,' Alex frowned at her, unsure what she meant, 'if you and Tommy are up for it, he can stay overnight. You could test out his new room. See if he likes it.' She smiled sadly. 'Are you serious?', Alex gasped and beamed at her, 'really?' 'Yes really,' she nodded, 'as long as you bring him back to me before the match tomorrow.' Alex jumped up and hugged them both across the table. 'Of course. Of course I will. You are wonderful Em. But then again I always knew that.' He kissed her hand again and again.

'Tommy,' he shouted towards the sofa, 'guess what? Max is staying overnight.' Tom turned his head towards them and smiled sleepily. 'That's great news.' Alex got up to check on him again. 'How are you feeling?' He sat down next to him and took his hand. 'I'm alright. Just a little tired,' Tom laughed, 'it's all this cooking, kills even the healthiest of people,' he squeezed his hand, 'are you okay? I heard you argue?' He looked at him anxiously. Alex smiled at him gently. 'I'm an idiot.' Tom laughed out loud. 'But we all know that!' Alex tickled him playfully.

Emma walked over with Max on her arm. The child was watching Tom observantly. 'Hello young man.' Tom winked at him and smiled. Max giggled and stretched his arms out towards him. Emma sat him down on the sofa and he crawled towards Tom, who carefully sat up. He grabbed Max and sat him on his knees facing him. 'Story!' Max shouted and clapped his hands together. Tom frowned at him confused. 'Oh it's his bed time,' Emma said, 'he's used to being read a goodnight story at this time.' Tom smiled at Max cheekily. 'Oh I see, I'm sure Uncle Tommy is not too tired for that.' He touched his nose and Max laughed. Emma took a book out of her son's bag and handed it to Tom. 'That's his favourite,' she smiled at him, 'you can't really go wrong with it.' Tom nodded gratefully. 'Let's let Max be the judge of that.' He tickled him and Max squealed with excitement.

'Goodnight baby, be good,' Emma kissed and hugged her son, 'daddy will bring you back home tomorrow, okay?' Max looked anxious all of a sudden and held onto his mum. 'Daddy and teddy will bring you to bed and look after you tonight, okay?' Alex kissed his hair and smiled at him. Max looked back at Tom and clapped his hands. 'Story!' He shouted again and wiggled on his lap.

Alex accompanied Emma downstairs and hugged and thanked her again. Once she had left, he tip-toed back upstairs and could hear Tom read out the story. He watched from a distance and thoroughly enjoyed the sight. Tom held Max closely on his lap and pointed at the pictures as he was going through the book. Max listened attentively, resting his head against Tom's chest. Alex quietly sat down next to Tom on the sofa and put his arm around him. He gazed at him and stroked his hair as he listened to the story. By the time the book was finished, Max had fallen asleep in Tom's arms. Tom laughed quietly and looked at Alex. 'I assume I shouldn't take this kind of result too personally?' He whispered. 'I've always said you're dead boring.' Alex giggled quietly and winked at him. The boys looked at each other and shared a long and gentle kiss. Alex rested his forehead against his friend's and was taking deep breaths. Right at this moment his life finally felt complete again.

Over the next couple of weeks Alex focussed on his work trying to save his club from entering the relegation zone. Despite him still having to put up with verbal abuse by some football supporters in every match, the team won a couple of games and earned some badly needed points. Whilst Alex was coming to terms with the difficult conditions in the stadium, he relished Tom's presence at home. The boys continued to enjoy each other's company and were both excited whenever they had Max staying over. All this had given Alex a boost in confidence and determination and he wished things could always stay this way.

Meanwhile the boys had flown in a coach from Tom’s club, who started working with Tom, and they agreed a training plan to aim to get him fit in time for the World Cup. Tom was feeling better every day and was increasingly confident, itching to go back to playing again. Alex felt relieved with his progress but at the same time he also knew this meant Tom would have to go back to Dortmund soon.

One evening Alex and Tom were relaxing on the sofa together playing Xbox games. Tom was winning as usual and Alex was becoming increasingly frustrated. 'I give up!' He shouted chuckling and threw the control onto Tom's lap. 'Hey, no, you can't surrender. That's boring!', Tom protested and laughed. Alex looked at his friend and grabbed him, pulling him closer, 'ouch, Alex. I'm still injured,' Tom complained chuckling. He gave in and kissed him, 'you're such a bad loser.' He moaned.

Alex smiled and stroked his hair. 'It's been too long,' he lustfully whispered in his ear, 'how is that old body of yours feeling?' He asked and grinned at his friend. Tom smiled cheekily. 'We could do a test.' He winked at him. 'I want you so much Tommy.' Tom kissed him lustfully and stroked his cheeks. Alex sat up and pushed him on to his back. He started undressing him but suddenly stopped short looking at the red scar on his side. He carefully stroked and kissed it. 'Are you alright?' Tom asked him hesitantly. 'Yeah, I..., I just...' He shook his head. 'Hey,' Tom hugged him tightly, 'it's okay. I'm still here,' he kissed him, 'look, you haven't lost me.' He smiled at him gently. Alex was taking deep breaths. 'Sorry.' He laughed quietly. Tom kissed his forehead and held him.

Alex’s mobile rang and both boys sighed and giggled. 'Great timing.' Tom joked as Alex reached over him to get to his phone. 'Hello?' Alex sounded slightly annoyed. 'Good evening Mr Hanisch. Sorry to disturb you at this time.' 'Who is this?' Alex frowned. 'It's Hamburg police sir. We have been notified by our colleagues in Frankfurt that they just arrested four men in connection with the attack on you and Mr Stiller in Dortmund a few weeks ago.' Alex froze. 'Alex? What happened?' Tom asked concerned as he realised how pale his friend had turned. 'We need you and Mr Stiller to identify the men in Frankfurt tomorrow Mr Hanisch.' Alex gulped. 'Tomorrow?', he hesitated as he was thinking this through, 'Tom is still recovering. A long trip and the stress could have a negative effect on his health.' Alex explained looking at his friend. Tom had grabbed his hand as he was watching him with a frown. 'We understand. We will make the necessary arrangements Mr Hanisch. You will be flown there and back on the same day. If you wish we will arrange for a doctor to accompany you in the police plane too.' Alex took a moment to gather his thoughts. He pensively stroked Tom's scar again. 'What time?' He said emotionless. 'A police car will pick you up at 7 o'clock in the morning. You should both be back in Hamburg for early evening.' 'That's fine. We'll be ready.' He hung up.

'They've arrested someone. Am I right?' Tom asked and looked at Alex seriously. Alex nodded. He dropped the phone on the floor and hugged his friend tightly. He took deep breaths and closed his eyes, kissing Tom's chest again and again. 'Don't worry about me,' Tom whispered, 'I'll be fine.' He smiled at him. 'They'll fly us all the way to Frankfurt. It'll be a tough day for you.' Alex grunted and shook his head. 'But we'll get it over and done with. About time they caught them,' Tom kissed him lovingly, 'hey, come on. Relax,' he said gently and stroked his friend's cheeks. Alex looked into his eyes, 'now,' Tom said and smiled at him cheekily as he started kissing him again, 'where were we?'

The boys landed in Frankfurt mid-morning the next day. The media were eagerly reporting about these new developments and policemen had to get Alex and Tom through the crowds of journalists that had gathered outside the main police station. The boys were shaken when they finally had to face the four suspects. Tom had to help Alex control his anger as he recognised their faces and all the memories came back yet again. They both identified the men as their assaulters but had to learn that all of them denied any involvement in the attack. Frustratingly, the questioning was going to take weeks if not months and any trial would not start until after the World Cup.

Still, they were relieved when it was over. Both attended a press conference afterwards and expressed their content that the men had finally been caught. 'We can move on with our lives for now and focus on our work and the World Cup.' Alex said and smiled at Tom. 'Will you be fit to play then Mr Stiller?' 'I hope so,' Tom laughed, 'that's what I'm working towards anyway.' 'What is your message to those football fans who still give you grief about your homosexuality during training and big games?' Tom smiled. 'To deal with it. It's just the way it is. We won't hide away just because we happen to be a gay couple.' He looked at Alex, who nodded and beamed at him. 'He's mine. Sorry people.' Alex said and Tom and all the journalists laughed out loud.

‘But you both play in different football clubs currently, how will you be able to maintain your relationship?’ One of the journalists had stood up, pushing the boys for an answer. Alex’s heart sank. He didn’t know himself how they would be able to see each other more often next season. He had tried not to think about it as yet. Tom hesitated a moment and then gave the journalists a cheeky smile. ‘We’ll make it work,’ he looked at Alex gently, ‘I’ve come to realise that the North isn’t so bad after all. I kind of miss it,’ Alex stared at him with wide eyes, ‘I would have thought one of the clubs up here will be interested in me.’ Tom gulped and smiled at his friend nervously. ‘What?’ Alex exclaimed in disbelief. The boys could feel the heat of the camera flashlights on their faces as all journalists were desperate to capture this moment of surprise. They gazed at each other. Alex’s heart was racing with excitement, he was lost for words. ‘Don’t you think?’ Tom asked him shrugging his shoulders. Alex started beaming as he was shaking his head at Tom. ‘You’re crazy,’ he mouthed at his friend, ‘he’s lost his mind everyone!' He shouted towards the journalists. And the whole room was roaring with laughter.


Three weeks later

'Max!', Alex shouted into the garden from the kitchen, 'easy baby, we don't want Uncle Tommy to be too exhausted to play again in a few weeks.' He laughed as he was preparing his son's lunch.

It was a bright April day. The sun had come out and it felt like spring was truly on its way now. Tom was chasing Max around the garden and threw him into the air whenever he caught him. 'Got ya!' Tom shouted as he lifted him above his head and the child was squealing with excitement. 'Tommy, seriously, don't overdo it.' Alex said as he was leaning against the door frame. 'Oh since when have you become so boring?' Tom laughed and carried Max on his shoulders towards his friend. Alex gave him a look and kissed him gently.

'Right, lunch time young man,' Tom said and was about to sit Max into his high chair when the doorbell rang, 'are you expecting anyone?' He asked Alex. 'Not a soul, do you want me to go?' Alex peeked his head out of the kitchen. 'It's alright. I'll get it.' Tom said and went to answer the door with Max on his arm.

Tom froze when he saw his brother staring at him. Marco had his hands deeply buried in his trouser pockets and smiled at him nervously. 'Hey.' He said and looked at Max somewhat confused. Tom was lost for words he was that surprised. He gulped and held Max closer to his chest. 'What are you doing up here?' He finally asked his brother suspiciously in a cold tone of voice. 'Hey, hey,' Marco laughed and held his hands in the air, 'I wanted to see how you are doing. Is that a crime? You're my brother after all.' Tom didn't feel comfortable. 'Who is that?' Max looked at Tom with big eyes. Tom kissed his hair and smiled at him. 'Someone I used to know very well.'

'You alright down here? What's going...' Alex looked over Tom's shoulder, '...on?' He stared at Marco. Tom kissed his friend's cheek and passed Max to him. 'This guy must have got the wrong house number.' Tom said and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Alex and Marco stared at him. 'Tommy,' Marco shook his head, 'I'm not here to argue. I just want to talk to you, see how are you are. That's all,' he took a deep breath, 'Jesus, come on.' He forced a laugh. Tom didn't move or say anything.

'Do you want to come in?' Alex asked Marco quietly. Tom looked at him in disbelief. 'You invite him into your house? After everything he has done to you?' 'He's your brother Tommy,' Alex whispered and looked into his eyes. He held his son close to his chest, 'I'll go and give Max his lunch. As I said, he's welcome to come in.' He squeezed Tom's hand and went inside. Tom turned back to Marco. He still had his arms crossed and took a deep breath. 'What do you want?' He asked him. 'Talk man. Just talk. I've driven all the way from Dortmund up here,' he laughed and ran his hand through his hair, 'I was hoping you would at least offer me a beer?' Tom hesitated. Then he nodded. 'Okay,' he took a deep breath again, 'come in.'

He walked ahead and Marco followed him upstairs. While Tom went into the kitchen to get a beer out of the fridge, Marco was staring at Alex feeding Max at the dining table. 'Alright?' Alex asked and looked at him. 'Yeah. Fine.' Marco said and nodded. He looked bewildered by the whole situation. Tom came out of the kitchen with a bottle of beer and a glass of orange juice. He looked at Alex in passing and smiled at him gently. 'Ah, still not drinking, hey?' Marco joked when he saw Tom's orange juice. 'No, the preparation for the World Cup is too important and I'm still on medication anyway.' He passed his brother the bottle and nodded towards the sofas.

The boys sat down and Marco took a sip. 'So, I see you are recovering well. That's a relief.' He looked at him nervously. 'Yeah I'm well looked after.' Tom smiled towards Alex, who was still busy feeding his son. Marco nodded and took another sip of beer. 'Mum would have loved to do just that.' Tom rolled his eyes. 'Is that why you're here?' He asked him annoyed. 'No, no,' Marco said gently and looked down at his hands, 'I saw you two at the first charity concert on TV the other day. Looked like it was quite cool.' Tom nodded. 'Yeah it was good fun, quite a turnout. Thousands of people were there, quite overwhelming really,' he drank his orange juice, 'it's just a handful of people that still think it's all wrong. Most of them are in football stadiums every week unfortunately.' He gave his brother a look. Marco avoided his eyes and stood up. He looked into the garden through the window. 'Nice place.' He said. Tom joined him. 'Not bad,' he agreed, 'so how come you don't even call me for weeks and then you just turn up out of the blue?', Tom asked him. Marco started walking up and down nervously and Tom felt uncomfortable again, 'why are you here Marco?' He asked his brother quietly.

Marco took deep breaths. 'Because I want my brother back,' he looked at Tom, 'I miss you man. We all do. Mum and dad are beside themselves.'
He gulped. Tom buried his hands in his trouser pockets as he cast his eyes down. 'You were the ones who pushed me away.' He said quietly. 'We didn't push you away Tommy. We love you.' Marco's voice was full of emotion. Tom laughed. 'You love me alright. As long as I conform to your expectations,' he looked his brother in the eye, 'if you have come here to start another argument about me and Alex, then I can tell you now you have wasted your time.' Marco walked towards him and took a deep breath. 'Are you absolutely sure that this is the sort of life you want? Move back up North, be in a relationship with Alex, play daddy with a boy he had with his girlfriend? No matter if the world laughs about you? No matter if you jeopardise your career?' 'Oh for God’s sake.' Tom grunted angrily. Marco gasped for air. 'Because if it is then I will try to accept it.' Tom stared at him. 'What?' He muttered, surprised by his brother's words. Marco took another deep breath. 'I'm not going to lie to you Tommy. I struggle to get my head round all this, this whole gay thing. And I know mum and dad do too.' 'He makes me happy.' Tom intervened and looked at him intently. Marco nodded. 'Okay. If it is what you want, then I have no choice but to learn to accept it. Because I just can’t lose you Tommy.' He looked at him with tears in his eyes. ‘What?’, Tom forced a laugh, 'do you really mean that?' He asked him nervously. Marco cast his eyes down and nodded. Tom hesitated. He hectically turned around towards Alex and was looking for his eyes. His friend stopped feeding Max and gave him an anxious look. Then Tom turned back to Marco and very slowly approached him. He carefully opened his arms and gently pulled him towards him. Marco clung onto him. 'You're my little brother. For God's sake man.' Marco mumbled and squeezed him hard. 'What about mum and dad?' Tom asked him. 'Leave them to me, I'll work on them.' They both started laughing quietly as they kept hugging each other tightly.

Alex walked over with Max on his arm. He smiled relieved and pleased at the boys' embrace. 'Looks like you have another uncle, baby.' He said quietly and kissed his son's cheek. Max looked at him with big eyes. Alex chuckled and kissed him again. Tom turned towards Alex and stretched his arms out towards Max, who wiggled on his father's arm, desperate to be passed over to him. Tom grabbed him and hugged him with a sigh of relief. 'This is Uncle Marco,' he whispered in his ear as he was looking back at his brother, 'he's not as cool as your Uncle Tommy. But he's alright really,' the boys laughed. Tom smiled at Alex lovingly. He took his hand, 'remember Alex?' He asked Marco cheekily. 'If you punch me again, I'll have to defend myself.' Alex joked. Marco took a deep breath. 'I'm sorry Alex.' He smiled at him nervously. Alex stretched his hand out towards him. 'It's good to see you man.' He said gently and Marco laughed and shook his hand firmly.

Chapter 10

June

Finally. The tournament was about to begin. After months of hard work, training and preparation, the German team was ready to take on the world's best clubs in the fiercest competition in football. Alex was excited and overwhelmed by the whole experience but he was most thrilled about the fact that Tom had succeeded in recovering in time and both boys were going to be part of this together. They were delighted to be back with their team mates and friends, especially Felix and Kai, and spent as much time as possible catching up with them in-between training. Alex and Tom knew they were going to be watched particularly closely by the media but their whole team was on their side and they knew they could rely on their support.

Only days before the first group match, anticipation was rising and confidence levels were high in the team. It was a hot June afternoon and the boys were relaxing in the pool after training. As they were play-fighting with their team mates, Winter walked towards Alex and stood over him by the side of the pool. 'Alex, I need to talk to you and Tom for a minute in private. Now please.' Winter's voice was calm but assertive. Alex stopped and looked up at him. He squinted and had to cover his eyes against the sun. 'Sure sir,' he was looking for Tom and could see him with Kai on the other side of the pool, 'I'll get him.' Alex swam towards him and gently hugged him from behind. 'Hey,' he said quietly and Tom smiled at him happily as he turned around, 'Winter wants to talk to us Tommy. It sounds urgent.' He nodded towards their manager, who had started making his way back to the hotel. 'What's that all about?' Tom frowned at his friend and Alex shrugged his shoulders.

The boys got dressed and joined Winter in his office. 'Take a seat boys,' Winter said. Alex and Tom started to feel uneasy but silently sat down in front of him. Their manager took a moment to collate his thoughts, 'I have some bad news.' He was looking at them intently. 'What happened sir?' Tom asked worried. 'I wish I could spare you this,' Winter shook his head and leant back in his seat, 'Markus has decided to talk after all. He is due to publish an article in the newspapers in Germany tomorrow about your relationship and his view on homosexuality in general,' his face was serious, 'and it won't be a very friendly article I tell you that much.' The boys looked at each other anxiously. 'Timely. Good work.' Alex mumbled sarcastically and Tom took a deep breath gazing at his friend. Then he looked back at Winter. 'It's unfortunate that he doesn't seem to be able to let this go,' he laughed sadly, 'but he can't harm us anymore sir. This is exactly why we came out when we did. It's old news now surely.' Winter sighed and nodded. 'You're right to a certain extent Tom, but my worry is that it will stir things up again for you, just when you both need to be one hundred per cent focussed. Ultimately he's trying to distract you from playing your best football,' he paused, 'it's a huge risk.' Alex stared at Winter. 'Sir, you are not suggesting that you won't play us now, are you? We have worked so hard to get here. This is our dream. Please.' His heart was racing with stress. Tom frowned as he started to grasp where Winter was going with this. He looked at his manager with begging eyes. 'Sir, I nearly wasn't able to join the team again and the fact that I am actually here is close to a miracle,' he gulped, 'please don't let him spoil this for you, for us. Don't let him win this after all. Please sir.'

Winter looked both boys in the eyes. They could tell he was weighing up his options. 'You know how much I rate you both. You are my first choice of players in your positions. And you know that I support you and your relationship,' he took a deep breath, 'but it will be hell out there for you. You will get burnt at stake. I always knew it would be very difficult for you but Markus' story will fuel the flames and all I need at this point for the whole team is concentration and focus.' He banged his fist on the table as he was getting more and more frustrated. 'And that's exactly what you'll get,' Alex said determinedly and couldn't help but grab Tom's hand, 'we have a job to do here and we won't be distracted. You have always believed in us and we will make damn sure that you were right to do so all along,' he gasped for air, 'if you just give us that chance sir.' Tom smiled at Alex sadly. 'We've already been through hell and back in the last few months. They won't bring us down now. Not us.' He added defiantly and Alex gently squeezed his hand.

Winter had leant back in his chair as he listened to the boys' plea. He took a deep breath again. Then he nodded pensively. 'Okay. I hear you,' he paused, 'if you think you are mentally strong enough to cope with this then I will support you and play you as planned,' the boys exhaled quietly with relief, 'but listen boys, if it gets too much out there and things get out of hand it is also my job to protect you from the mob. In which case I may reconsider my decision and take action. Have I made myself clear?' 'Couldn't be clearer.' Alex muttered and nodded. Winter smiled at them gently. 'Now go and enjoy your afternoon. I'll re-iterate to the press that this latest wave of homophobic nonsense won't throw us off our tracks.' 'Thank you sir.' Tom whispered and the boys gratefully smiled at their manager.

The team went on to comfortably win the first group game and whilst the mood was celebratory in general, Alex and Tom had had to put up with verbal abuse, whistling and booing throughout the whole match. Despite dealing with it professionally on the pitch, Tom and Alex were shaken by the sheer scale of it. That evening they had retired early as a result. They were lying on the bed in Tom's hotel room and tried to digest the whole experience.

'You did well.' Tom whispered into Alex’s ear as he was gently massaging his back. Alex had his eyes closed and moaned. 'Those twats. Makes me so angry,' he mumbled, 'those are the sorts of people that won't hesitate to ram a knife into you.' Tom kissed his cheek. 'Yeah, it was pretty bad today.' He sighed. Alex turned onto his back and hugged his friend, pulling him close to his chest. He kissed his lips and looked into his eyes. 'I was more upset about them booing you. I didn't really care when they did the same to me.' Tom laughed and stroked his back. 'Same here,' he smiled at Alex, 'we just have to try and ignore it, shut it out somehow.' He said quietly. Alex nodded. 'I reckon the further we get in the competition the more they are likely to shut up.' 'And remember we can't afford to make any mistakes,' Tom said and looked at him seriously, 'we'll forever be the scapegoats. We have to play for our lives Alex. Literally.' He kissed his friend and the boys held each other tightly.

As the competition went on, Winter's trust into Tom and Alex was paying off. The boys and the whole team fought and worked tirelessly in every match. Tom and Alex were determined to show their value to the world, even more so because they had to suffer through continuous grief on the pitch. They played sharply and faultlessly and Alex scored more goals than he had ever done in previous competitions. Match by match the boys' confidence grew and they slowly managed to turn the mood in the stadiums in their favour. They were winning hearts and minds but above all respect from more and more fans and the international press became increasingly fascinated by them.

No-one could quite believe it when Germany had won the semi-final and were now facing Holland in the final of the World Cup. Whilst the whole team celebrated, Winter also managed to keep them focussed urging them to keep up the good work. They were so close now.

'Mr Winter, your team has reached the final of the World Cup. Given the difficult circumstances and pressure some of your players are under, you must feel relieved and satisfied.' The hotel meeting room was packed with journalists. 'I have never doubted my players' ability but I am impressed with how defiantly and consistently especially Tom and Alex have taken on this challenge. I am incredibly proud of all the boys but we haven't reached our ultimate goal just yet. We want to win this tournament and I can assure you that the team want this just as much as I do.'

'Mr Lang, after Markus Sauer left the team you have taken on the role as captain permanently. How do you support Tom and Alex when things get difficult for them on the pitch?' Felix smiled at the question. 'They are exceptional professional footballers, they are quite capable of helping themselves. I'm sure you'd agree that their performance so far speaks for itself. But we do have conversations of course and I as well as the rest of the team encourage them as much as we can. Every player in this team is always there for them and they know that.'


The final. Germany vs Holland

It was a tense, focussed atmosphere in the changing rooms half an hour before kick-off. It was so quiet, one could have heard a needle drop. Some players had whispering conversations, others just sat by themselves concentrating on the upcoming match.

Alex and Tom sat next to each other in front of their lockers and looked at each other seriously. 'This could be it.' Tom whispered and smiled. Alex nodded silently. Winter stood in the middle of the changing rooms and addressed the players. He encouraged the team to fight for this victory and for each and every one of them to give it their all. Then he handed the word to Felix. 'This is an awesome moment, an amazing chance that we certainly won't get for a while. The last few months have been tough. We nearly lost one of our key players, team mates and friends due to violence off the pitch and we are all extremely grateful for having him with us tonight,' Felix smiled at Tom with gentle eyes. Alex grabbed Tom's hand and took a deep breath, 'we have all worked so hard for this one chance, this one opportunity. It's been our dream for such a long time. Now we can all make it come true,' Felix paused, 'and we will!', all the boys cheered at his words, 'when you go out there, remember the trophy, remember the millions of people watching back home but above all remember Tommy and Alex. We can help them finally be accepted and appreciated tonight. This is our time. Let's make history!'

All the boys jumped up, cheered and clapped. They high-fived and encouraged each other, raring to go. Felix walked towards Tom and Alex and put one arm around each of them. 'You are awesome. Now show them what you are capable of. I want you to prove them all wrong.' The boys smiled at him and nodded.

It was only minutes now before they were to leave the changing rooms. Alex tied his shoe laces and took off his training jacket. He closed his eyes as he reflected on everything that had happened in his life to get him to this stage in his career. The next 90 minutes could be the most crucial time of his life so far. Not only could he become world champion with his team but he could silence most critics of his relationship with Tom too.

As the boys started to get ready to make their way through the tunnel towards the pitch, Alex gulped feeling nervous all of a sudden and took a deep breath. His hand was looking for Tom's. His friend turned and hugged him tightly. 'We can do this. You and I.' Tom said and looked into his eyes. Alex felt lost gazing at him. 'I love you so much.' He said so quietly Tom could hardly hear him. Tom smiled and was leaning against Alex’s forehead as he was taking deep breaths. 'I love you too.' He whispered in his ear. Then it was time.

As Alex and Tom walked out onto the pitch, gently holding the hands of two children, Alex nearly held his breath as he saw the amount of German flags in the stadium and the all-encompassing cheers and applause. He was almost looking for the slating banners, the hurtful messages of which he had seen plenty of during the previous matches. But it seemed that those had gone, replaced by flags and messages of goodwill and encouragement. When Alex and Tom stood next to each other during the national anthem, arms on each other's shoulders, they were both full of excitement and determination.

The match was tough and intense and pushed all the players to their physical limits. They kept focussed and worked tirelessly at creating chances. The first half ended goalless and the boys started the second half even hungrier. Tom was pushing but struggled to get the ball forward through Holland's defence. Then he finally found a way, passed quickly to Alex, who immediately saw Kai in the perfect position to his left. He sprinted forward and crossed the ball directly at Kai’s feet. Germany were 1-0 up in the 60th minute and all the boys were celebrating, carried by the deafening noise in the stadium.

Holland, angered and desperate to equalise, put the pressure on but Germany defended well. In the 72nd minute, Tom confidently played the ball forward when he was skilfully tackled by a Dutch midfielder. As a result, he lost the ball and Germany were too late to react and chase after Holland, who were racing towards the German goal. The boys were watching in shock as Holland scored and equalised.

Tom stood and stared. He was trying to get his breath back as he painfully realised his mistake. He let his eyes wander around the stadium, anxiously looking and waiting for the hurtful banners to come back out. Felix joined him and patted the back of his head. He put one arm around him and encouraged him to keep going. Alex could hear some of the fans whistling and booing his friend and he felt angry again. He jogged towards Tom and also put his arm around him. ‘We can still do this,’ he smiled at him. Tom bit his lip and cast his eyes down, ‘Tommy.’ Alex held his head and looked at him intently. Tom nodded and took a deep breath. Then he quickly jogged back into his position and the match continued.

Perhaps it was the sheer hunger for the trophy, or the utter frustration about the equaliser, or perhaps it was the team’s joint determination not to let Tom’s one mistake be the last thing everyone would remember. Regardless, Holland were playing more and more defensively with an increasingly dominant German side. With time running out and both teams desperately trying to score came a number of fouls and yellow cards.

Then, in the 87th minute, Tom had fought for and won another ball and as he was about to pass it to Alex, one of the Dutch defenders sprinted towards him and lifted his leg high as part of his tackle. As a result, he kicked the side of Tom's stomach so hard that Tom collapsed on the floor in agony. The referee blew the whistle. Alex stared at his friend on the ground. He knew immediately that the opponent player had caught Tom right on his scar. He was frozen on the spot at first but then stormed towards his friend. 'Tommy!' Alex kneeled down next to him and stroked his hair. Tom was grimacing with pain and Alex became even angrier now. Kai and Felix had also run over and gathered by the boys. Alex stood up facing the player who had fouled Tom and gave him an angry look. The German fans were up on their seats in uproar against Holland, whistling at their players. What's more, Tom had been tackled right outside the penalty area and consequently Germany were due a penalty kick.

Felix talked to the referee explaining that this tackle should be a penalty and a straight red card but the referee decided to show the Dutch player yellow for the foul. However, he granted Germany the penalty kick. The German supporters frantically cheered and clapped knowing they could win this match now. The Dutch players that had gathered were shocked by the decision and told Tom to get up and stop making a scene. 'You caught him where he was injured, he's not making a scene, he's in agony!' Alex shouted at the defender as he was bending down towards Tom again.

'Gay pussies.' Alex couldn't believe his ears. He turned back towards the Dutch player. 'What did you just say?', it should have been Alex asking the question but instead it was Kai. He had grabbed the defender's arm and looked at him with fury in his eyes, 'how dare you!' He pushed the Dutch player and Felix had to step in and break them up. The defender wasn't fazed by it and repeated the insult pointing at Tom and Alex. This time though in earshot of both Felix and the referee. The reaction was prompt and correct. Kai saw yellow for pushing the defender but the Dutch player got a red card for the insult.

By now the noise in the stadium had become deafening. Emotions were running high in both camps. Alex shut it all out, he was only worried about his friend. He was kneeling next to Tom. 'Are you alright? Can you get up?' He asked him worried. Tom was gasping for air. 'It bloody well hurts.' He forced a laugh. Alex looked at Tom anxiously and was fighting against the traumatic memories coming back yet again when he felt a hand on his shoulder. 'Come on Alex. This is your moment,' Felix pulled Alex up and handed him the ball, 'I want you to take this penalty,' he bent down towards Tom, took his hand and supported his back, 'hey Tommy, we're nearly there now. I'll help you get up.' Felix pulled Tom up onto his feet and made him put one arm around him and one around Kai. Tom was moaning in pain leaning onto his friends.

Alex stared at the ball in his hands. He had expected the captain of the team to take such an important penalty. His heart sank, the pressure on him was enormous but as he watched Tom struggling to stay upright in pain, his determination grew. He walked towards him and looked at him nervously. His friend gave him a smile despite his agony. Then he grabbed Alex’s shoulders and was leaning on to him. He looked into his eyes. 'Now don’t do what I did. Don’t fuck this up,’ he forced a laugh, ‘get us that trophy Alex. Show them what you are capable of.' Alex didn’t laugh. He gulped and nodded at the three boys. Then he turned around. He walked up to the penalty spot, placed the ball in front of him and stepped back.

His heart was racing and he felt nauseous. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. He could feel his whole team standing behind him and hear Tom's voice cheering him on. The goalkeeper opposite him was focussed and concentrated. Then Alex could hear the whistle.

All the grief and hardship of the last few months flashed in front of his eyes. The punishments and suffering the boys had had to put up with for wanting to be with each other. Alex looked up towards the goalkeeper and took another deep breath. 'This one is for us.' Alex kicked the ball hard and as millions were watching this moment holding their breath, to him it felt like the ball was flying through the air in slow motion. He couldn't hear the noise around him anymore. All he could do was stare after the ball and wait. He was frozen on the spot when he finally realised he had done it. Alex had scored in the 90th minute and Germany had won the World Cup.

As he started to grasp what had just happened, he could hear the noise around him again and it was even louder and more intense than before. Alex saw the endless sea of flags waving across the stadium, he could hear the fans singing and cheering and going insane with excitement. As he turned around, he saw his team storm towards him with open arms. But he was only interested in one person. Alex ran away from the boys, making them chase him around the whole pitch, soaking up the applause, the noise, the screams. Suddenly he had become their hero.

Then he was finally about reach him. Tom was waiting for him, beaming with his arms open wide and Alex fell into them. He lifted Tom high up in the air. 'You did it!' Tom shouted and held his head. And once Alex had set him back down and the boys were beaming at each other, he couldn't help himself. Alex kissed his friend. Right in the middle of the pitch. The stadium went wild. The boys only had seconds until their team mates had caught up with them. All of them jumped on top of each other in a frenzy, burying both boys underneath them in a pile as they were celebrating their victory for their team, for their country and for Alex and Tom.

The photo of the boys' kiss spread like wild fire and was published around the globe. It became symbolic for victory but also for a new dawn in football. The boys had succeeded in playing themselves into the hearts of people from all around the world. Germany celebrated their love just as much as the team's success in the tournament. Football fans across the country felt nothing but pride and respect for their new born heroes. And the boys were an important step closer to finally being who they always wanted to be.

Just two boys. Madly in love with each other.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 08.04.2012

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