Austin?

These last few months have been hell for me... i cant seem to get it right! i don't sleep at all, more often than not, i find myself on the computer, looking up sad quotes and crying over Devon. i think that the harder i look for someone to heal my heart, the more pain i feel... and im so freaking tired of not sleeping, and tearing up when i see him in the halls at school. its bad when i dont see him, and pure hell when i do. i still love him. but he cheated on me... and i didnt want to deal with that! my best friend Taylor said to me the other day "Angel, get out of bed! we are going out, and you are going to stop eating chocolate and moping around all day!" so guess what i did!? i went to the mall with Taylor...
Believe me, the last thing i wanted to do was go to the mall and go therapy shoping! but somehow, i wanted to feel better, i wanted to get over devon. i didnt want to be locked up in my house doing absoloutely nothing but crying. so i got my sorry but up, and took a shower. i havent been going to school lately.i take all my classes online, i guess this (me) is the outcome of severe depression? Ok, lets start at the begining. I was with Devon for three years, and he told me he loved me for the first time on our one year anniversary. i thought that was soo cute! i met him at my Homecomming Dance my freshman year. We were never seperated.. we were like, one person. and last week, when i was told by the school slut (Liza) that she was secretely sleeping with him, i FREAKED! She looked me in the eye, and said, "I hope you dont mind, but hun, i'm sleeping with your man." and i said "WHAT THE HECK DO YOU MEAN YOUR 'SLEEPING WITH MY MAN'!?" and she repeated it, and i punched her right in the face, and she had to have a nose job because i was that mad at her.. AND him!!!
The next thing i knew, i was in his face, and he was backing away, saying i was a crazy whore! who the hell would say that to thier GIRLFRIEND!?

man was i pissed! then i was suspended, and only in my junior year of high school, here i am... moping around, too dang scared to show my face at school ever again.. and all because of him and that Liza! i dont think i have ever been that mad at anyone in my life! i just started these classes online today. I couldnt bear to see his face. i knew i would just chase him. To tell you the truth, i love him so much that whenever i hear the phone ring, or my cell phone vibrate, i can almost feel my heart breaking. Because i know that theres no possibility that its him. it feels like im being ripped open by a thousand prying hands.I just cant do it anymore!
i have heard my mom and dad say over and over again that i should just get over him.. theres no reason to be broken hearted over a jerk who apparently never treated me right.. i never really saw why they didnt like him. But all that really matters is that i did.. and still do!
Today taylor is supposed to come over and i think we will just have a night here at my house.. we could watch a movie! hmm.. i'm thinking maybe 'P.S. I Love you'.. i know its kinda old, but it always makes me and Taylor cry. We end up crying like babys until my older brother comes in and throws a box of tissues at us. He thinks its funny. I dont!

What the heck? the door bell just rang.. wonder who would want to be over at my house this early in the afternoon.. Isn't everyone (well... except me...) in school right now?
Ok , not kidding, there is this totally gorgeous guy standing at my door, in bright yellow swimming trunks. OMG he has nice abs! Wonder if he will let me feel them ? ;) Wavy light brown hair and flip flops and the brightest blue eyes i have EVER seen... is this what they call love at first sight!?
"umm.. are you ok?" Nice Abs can speak!!!!! oh, i love his silky voice!
"wha- oh! yeah... and you are...?" i asked.
"oh, sorry. ha. my name is Austin. i just moved in next door and my mom sent me over here to give you guys some cookies? i did NOT make them, so dont worry" wow.. NEXT DOOR!? i am so gonna love this! i think i'll go out and do some yard work tomorrow!
" i dont see any cookies." i pointed out.
"well, thats because you have to come over and get them... i was sent here to also invite you over.. and your parents... if you have any?" he grinned slightly.
" well, you see, they are both at work, they dont get back until about 8-ish on the weekdays.. but weekends, they NEVER leave this house! not even kidding!"
And thats when it happened.. the sun was so warm on his skin, and that smile was melting my very heart! it was so tempting to just kiss him right then and there. but then i realized, i dont even know this guy! what if hes a serial killer or something!? well... i wouldnt mind being kidnapped by him... STOP IT! FOCUS!!
" uh... hello?"
"what?" i think he might have said something.. yeah. i didnt hear him.
"i said,'whats your name?'" i think this is one of those boys that has a million girls fawning over him everyday...
" i'm Angel.so... how bout those cookies?"
" hold on. one sec"
"what are we waiting for?" i said, a totally confused.
" i want to be able to remeber this moment for the rest of my life.. you look really pretty in your sweats by the way" he said, giving me a little wink.
That was the moment i realized just what i was wearing.. a tank-top, gray sweats, and my hair in a messy pony-tail.. i highly doubt i even put on my makeup...this is one of those times i just want to crawl back in bed, and hope this was all a dream.. if not, i would DIE from embarrasment!
i laughed out loud.
" you alright?" he said, looking slightly hurt.
"sorry, i just pictured what i must look like right now, i should have at least done my makeup this morning!"
His laugh is like melted chocolate, running down my throat. yummy, smooth, and i dont ever want it to stop!
" well, i happen to think that you dont need any makeup.. you look beautiful, just the way you are!... i think my mom might be getting worried soon, wanna go get some milk and cookies?" he asked, all too innocently.


" definately"

and for the first time in what felt like forever, Devon was the last thing on my mind. And what's worse, i didnt even mind.

Milk and Cookies <3

who knew that milk and cookies could be so seductive? i thought that was the sole job and purpose of chocolate covered strawberries!.. guess i was wrong.
i've been sitting here with Austin and his mom for about 2 hours now. His moms name is Amamda, and she looks killer in her heels and dress!
Turns out that Austin doesnt have a dad. Its just him and his mom. They moved to nowhere, Iowa, all the way from sunny, gorgeous CALIFORNIA! who in their right mind would leave Cali!? they say that after the father figure left, so did they. They've been moving around for what seems like forever. But in all reality, its only been 2 years. He is in my grade. A junior. I asked him what school he was going to go to, and he said..
" I think its called'Harlan Community High School'?"
and my heart felt like it got stuck in my throat.. i think that i might puke it out any second now. I have a really weak stomach!

" you all good?" i think he might think i am crazy by now, he's asked me that three times already.

"yeah.. it's just that i used to go to school there. Now i take my classes online.." i ducked my head, and mumbled something i dont quite remember.. i think it was 'sorry..'

"what happened honey?" I think Amanda is the mother i only dream about.. one who would ask me if i was ok, if i needed a hug, or to be alone, or would read me a story if i felt like i needed to just be a kid again, and get out of this crappy world. That was one of the nicest things someone had ever asked me.

"well, i had a REALLY bad break-up, and then it was all over the school, and pretty soon, he had a new girlfriend, and i was in the dumps... then the new Toy was spreading rumors about me, accusing me of sleeping with her brother, and it got to the point that people were calling my house, threatening me, saying they would slit my throat if i didnt stop having sex with Liza's brother!!!! i never slept with him, or even Devon, and we were together for three years." i noticed a tear rolling down my cheek, and i quickly wiped it away.

" oh honey!" Amanda said, and scooped me up in her arms. i hadn't had a real hug from someone in months. i cried.. hard.

i could see Austin slowly getting out of his chair, and slinking away to another room down the house that was still packed with boxes. he walked away with a little smirk.

"i'm sorry, i dont even know you that well, and here i am, making a fool of myself.. crying over nothing! i'm soo sorry!" i dont know why, but i was blubbering. i have never done that before.
"oh sweetie, dont worry, i think it shows your real character, and i think that Austin might even have a little thing for you" she winked.

" MOM!!! why would you tell her that!!!?" Austin screamed from the other room.

"I'm just speaking the truth baby!" she hollered back.
"Now," she said, turning back to me," why dont you go to the bathroom down the hall and wash up? Austin was going to go to the movies with me tonight, but i dont think he would like that, no matter how much he insists otherwise.. i think he's just lonely.. so would you like to take my place?.. drive around a bit, and show him the town? i think that would be best"

"umm.. would that be okay? with him i mean?" i found myself struggling to talk.
"dont be silly! he would LOVE that!" she was whispering now.. then we started in on a giggle fight. I dont think my stomach has ever hurt like that from laughing so hard.. to be honest, i dont even know what we're laughing about! :) but i do know that i like it.

so i walk to the bathroom, wash up, and when i come out, there's Austin, sitting at the dinner table with his wallet, looking freshly showered, and groomed to perfection. And here i am, looking ugly with no makup on at all, still in the same sweats i wore to bed last night.. and all of a sudden, i am becoming extreemly aware of the deoderant that i forgot to put on this morning..i think i should drop by my house first!

"The Lucky One"... yup.. thats me!

Only after i rushed home, Changed really quickly, and applyed thick deoderant, put on some makeup, did my hair, i was out the door. in less than 20 minutes too! that was definately a new Angel world record!when i finnally came walking down the stairs, i recieved one of the strangest looks i have ever seen. it was one of attraction, stunned beauty, and shock. i liked the way he was looking at me!
"wow." his mouth was hanging open.

"you know, they say that if you take a picture, it will last longer." i smiled at him.
" you have the most beautiful smile ever.. can i really take a picture?" the grin he was wearing was very sheepish, so i gave in.. we took thousands of pictures.. all of them together. none of us by ourselves.

i think that was the moment i will always remember.. for better or for worse.

When we got into his Mercedes Benz (how fancy!), he asked where to.. so i just got out of the car, and wrestled him out of his seat, and told him I was driving. Then i said for him not to worry, im a good driver.. I pinkie promised him i would not crash it, or he could run me over a thousand times with a Corvette, then drag me to his house, and bury me in his back yard.
He said that would never happen. and i said "good..Then i think we will get along just fine"

Before he had the chance to respond, i was pulling out of the driveway, going straight to the heart of Harlan, Iowa.. the movie theatre.

we walked into the movie theatre, and guess who i saw there? None other than Devon!
i dont think Austin noticed anything unusual until Devon and his toy girl, Liza, walked right to us.
"hey Angel... how are you?" Devon asked.

"fine." i spoke through gritted teeth.

"umm.. who's this?" I totally forgot about Austin! ugh!
"Austin, this is Devon. Devon this is Austin.. And that slut girl, i think her name is name is Liza"

"ouch. that almost hurt" Liza pretended to be hurt.
"you have no idea how much i want to kill you right now.. so if i was you, i would cut the fake act, and just walk away if you want your face to look like it does now!" i was yelling, but no body was looking. its like they were all hiding. Or maybe just pretending that i wasn't yelling.

"Woah there, Angel, you don't need to start nothing... we were just wanting to say hi.. but i guess your still pissed off, so we'll just leave!" Devon looked scared...good.

"Bull! i cannot believe you just said that! you cheat on me for this whore, and expect this to all be ok with me!? What planet do you live on?! wow. that was the dumbest thing you have ever said! you know, i have been waiting for you to say your sorry, or to beg me to come back, or even just a 'hey how's it goin?, you know i broke up with Liza.. Are you ok?' but NO! you're too damn stupid and an Asshole to even consider saying you're sorry. its all about you. you know what? im done! fuck off!" i didnt care that Austin was staring at me, i didnt care that the whole room finally noticed me screaming at Devon. I just wanted to go home. i was soo done being the little toy whose heart was pulled around like it meant nothing.

"sorry..umm. i got to go..c'mon Liza, lets get out of here! shes freakin' CRAZY!!" Devon looked a lot more scared than he did before this whole mess. i liked it!

"Angel? you ok?" it was Austin. I didnt have a chance to respond. He wrapped me up in his coat, and i just cried. All of a sudden, the whole big fight just dissapeared. people were'nt staring at me like i was crazy anymore. they just seemed to look at me with pain in thier eyes. not pity, but pain. I think that right then, i could have stayed in Austin's arms for the rest of my life.

"it's okay, don't worry... he's a Dick! someone like him does not deserve a girl like you. you are way too good for him. and if he's too dumb to realize that, then fine. But just know that you're way too special and beautiful for jerks like him anyways!" if i did'nt see his mouth move, i would not have believed that Austin said those words. those words that i have been waiting for. Except, when i used to wait for them, i pictured them comeing out of Devon's mouth. not some guy that i barely know. but somehow, i was alright with that.

we ended up watching "The Lucky One" and durring the movie, Austin reached over and grabbed my hand. He didnt say a word,so i didnt either. Things were finally starting to look good. I wasnt sure how the ending to my life would be, but i know that for now, things were gonna be okay :)

A call from the principal.. and, CESAR!?

Yeah... I just got a call this morning from the principal of the high school... yeah.. that was NOT a good call! i had an amazing night with Austin last night at the movies. It was soo fun. Afterwards, we drove around the square and somehow ended up at dream playground. we were on the swings, and he told me a math problem...5+5+5=550.. somehow, i was to use only one straight line to figure out the problem, and make it true. One catch, no erasing, and no, it cannot be a diagonal line over the equal sign to make it true. it took a LONG time to figure it out. then we were laughing so hard, and he fell of the swing.
But i woke up this morning, thinking it was going to be a WONDERFUL day, and that i would see Austin again today. But turns out, i am supposed to have a meeting with the school board, the pricipal(Mr.Connell), my parents(!?) and me(The girl that used to be invisible) . I about freaked out. what if i have to go back to school!? So i have to get ready. Mr. Connell said he already talked to my parents, and that they were going to be here in 20 minutes. i said good-bye, and i immediately called Austin. He said he would gladly come with, but i had to say no, because i dont think my mom and dad would love that idea. They still dont know he moved in next door. And for some reason, my little devious side is showing, and i'm not even planning on telling them any day (or lifetime) soon.


20 minutes later.. here i am, sitting in my dad's prestigiously clean mercedes benz. I have only one older brother, but he moved out last year. He is not enrolled in college, and he only comes by once in a blue moon, and sometimes on weekends, but i never plan on it. He is terrible with keeping promises. i think he shouldnt even make them if he will never keep them!
So this is what hell is like.. A room with only pictures of stupid pheasants, and other wierd drawings. I had to sit in the same chairs that looked like they came out of a mental health institution. Red, all red. And a little bit of wood on the bottom and handles. they were NOT comfortable at all! My parents kept gaberring about things that i didnt want to hear. The ultimate decision was that i was no longer able to attend online high school,and that i would develop better in a classroom with real people. What the hell do you call my teachers that were Skyping with me? fake? illusions? monkeys? robots!?
for the first time in forever, my mom looked at me. She actually talked to me, and told me she loved me. At first, i thought she was joking, and that someone would come out with the hidden camera and say i just got Punked! But guess what didnt happen? i'll let you guess.
But then i realized that was not a probable idea. For one, my mom does NOT joke around. and second, i'm not important enough to be on T.V... i'm not what you call "star material"
I was told that my fate has been decided. it was official. Life sucked. And if i had to go to school again, that would mean i would not only have to face my tormentors, but the devil himself. Devon.and his slutty side-kick, Liza.
I didnt even ride home with my parents. In fact, i didnt even tell them i was leaving this stupid conversation, let alone where i was going. Now here i am, running out of the stupid hell cage, bolting straight through a set of double doors, and heading out to the sunlight..Freedom was calling my name. i was running and crying, and i just knew my makeup was running down my face. I probably looked like a nut case that just escaped the hospital. But no one tried to stop me. whatever they thought, they knew it wasnt worth the fight to stop me. I had every intention to go home, but somehow, i ended up at Dream Playground. I had only left here last night, very late, which might even count as REALLY early this morning. I was swinging slowyly.So slowly. I couldnt help it. I cried. for the first time in years, i didnt try to wipe them away as they cascaded down my cheek. each and every drop felt like it was just waiting to escape, and with everyone that hit the floor, it felt as if that was a part of the pain that had been building up for what felt like forever.
Out of nowhere, Austin is looking at me, kneeling down in front of me, and i notice that he is also crying. I couldnt quite put my finger on it, but something seemed off. why would we both be sitting in the park, crying? He hugged me with all his strength, and i hugged him back. I knew that this could be my soul-mate. Forever and Always.
when i pulled away, and looked up at his face, i wiped away his tears. I didnt want him to be in pain. Although i didnt know why he was crying, i didnt want him to hurt. Then he said
"do you want to come over? my mom will be gone for today. she left to go to someplace called Omaha with your mom. Those two really clicked you know. When my mom was walking into the house after she got her mail, she she saw your mom. and you know how old women are. so now they went shopping!"
and i said "definately" and he grabbed my hand, and we slowly walked to his home. we didnt talk for the entire walk. we just held hands, and slowly walked. we didnt even look at each other. and unlike the times that i was with Devon, the silence was welcoming, not awkward.
When we arrived to his home, i realized two things, one, that all the boxes were unpacked, and things were neatly put in their place, and two, his house seemed more like home to me than mine ever did or will.
We walked over to his couch, without a word, and we just snuggled. After about an hour, when we were both still wide awake, but too comfy to move, i turned around and faced him. He looked at me, expecting me to say something. so i did..
" why were you crying?" my voice was soft and very quite, almost whisper-like.
"my 'dad' called when my mom left. he said he missed me, that he was sorry. He lied to us. He left us, he cheated on my mom! now apparently, after having married a barista, a small, cute, but utterly ditzy blond,he has now had his second divorece. He asked if my mom was home. and i said no. then i started to yell at him. i dont remember all that was said, but i do know how mad i was. i was mad that he left, without a single word. i didnt even know if he was still alive, or dead or something. I was scared for so long. My mom lied to me at first. i was 14 years old, and i was begining to rebel and be defiant, and skip school. she just didnt want me to get worse, and she would lose me too. So We moved. And here we are, in Harlan, Iowa. Me without a dad, and mom without a man. I just hope she will be okay. i know i will... but i always worry for her. She seems more lonely lately.. sorry.. i just had to get that off my chest. thanks for listening. That's what makes you amazing, you know." Austin replied.

"anytime. i mean it, ANY time.i will always be here for you." i smiled.
"so will i." he was smiling so sweetly.
"Pinkie Promise?" i asked, hoping to God he said yes.
"forever and always." then he wrapped me up and we were so warm and cozy. i knew i would fall asleep and would never want to wake up again. Not as long as i lived, have i ever felt such love and warmth from a person. not my mom, dad, brother, or ex boyfriend. here i am; safe in the arms of a stranger. and i pray to God this 'stranger' will never let me go.

suddenly, i am awake, theres a very loud and annoying knock at the door. its dark everywhere, and the knocking is persistant. I guess this guy is really needing something. With my luck, it could be my mom. Or worse, Devon. i roll off the couch, where Austin is still asleep. he looked like a greek god. and a body to prove it if the rest of him wasn't proof enough.

"Angel?" a masculine, soft, voice was whispering my name, and i was totally freaked out. i could only see a shadow of a body that seemed to be a man's body. That voice was horrifyingly familiar.i started to close the door, but a tanned hand closed in on the door frame, and it was pushed open. before i could scream, an old friend walked into the hallway. The light from the moon showed me that he was no different than when i had left school.
"Cesar?" at the mention of his name, he broke down. " oh my god, Cesar! what happened!?" i was screaming, and Austin came running in, and the light was flipped on, and i saw the horrendous marks that were lashed across his face.

"wha-" i started..

"help me. I-I-I was k-k-kidnapped. you have to help me! H-He's looking for m-m-me!" he was shaking and stuttering and his face was so bruised and scared. he looked like someone had run him through with a saw, and glued him back together. Not even bothering to stitch up the parts that were still wide open and flowing blood. I was shocked. But only for a second.
"Austin! call the cops! hurry! we dont have much time! he's loosing too much blood! GO!" i was trying to stop the blood from his arm from bleeding too much. i couldnt hold on forever. i took off my shirt, and i was wraping it around his arm. Suddenly, he was on the floor, in shock from fear and the loss of so much blood. i thought i was going to lose my really good friend.

Then, like angel's that flew in from heaven when i couldnt take it anymore, the Ambulance and the police were swarming like bees. i was so relieved that i passed out.
I woke up hours later, in what seemed to be a regular morning. The only difference was that i was not in my bed, or Austin's.. It was a hospital bed.
"hey! wh-Where's CESAR!!?? hey! someone!? HEY!!" i shouted at the top of my lungs. My lungs felt like i could cough them up at any second. I feared that I would.
" Hold on there Angel. I see that you're finnally awake. Now, slow down, and i will tell you whats going on." There was a doctor that i had never even seen before. He seemed to be barely out of High school! he still looked like a kid!
"Where is CESAR!? is he okay!?" i was frantic.

I am awake again. What happened? i'm still in the hospital. same room. same bed. Wait. Where is Cesar?
"Hello?" my voice is hoarse. I guess all that screaming from the last time i was conscious was not in my favor. But i couldnt help it. i was scared. i was afraid that i would lose my friend again. i didnt want to lose him. he meant too much to me.

"Hello Angel.. My name is Dr.Earlbacher. I was recently informed that you have been in acoma for a week now. And that you are a true hero. Now, your friend Cesar is OKAY... he is still in acoma.. but he is concious enough to ask for you. Your parents called earlier, and said they desperately need to be at work, and that your neighbor, Austin will pick you up in half an hour..now, i know this might be breaking so many rules, and i could lose my job, but i know that you could also save this young man's life. I dont care if i lose my job. I just want to have a happy ending for once...He is in room 609. I trust you can find him?" I am speechless..Would he really lose his job? Why is it so bad? i dont really understand...

"are you sure? I-I dont know how to ever thank you! you are my hero. I dont know how i could ever repay you." I was crying, but i dont care. I just wanted to know that Cesar was okay. that someone was with him, holding his hand. Telling him they love him, and will never leave his side. I hope they were making him laugh and feel better, even if his heart was broken and felt like it was frozen glass..totally solid.. then hit with a hammer, and burst into a million tiny pieces. Not sure if he could ever pick them up, and put them together. Not sure if he wanted to anyways.. Just like he was with me. I just want to see him smile. I would take away any pain he felt right now.. I would suck it all up, and it would be mine. Not. his. Please dear God, let him be okay.

"Dont- You have done enough by keeping him alive this long. YOU are the hero. Now, go, he needs you. I will be there shortly after you. Hurry. I dont know how much more time he has left."

"Thank-" but before i even finished my sentence, i was gone. running. I dont know where i am going, just running, turning corners, getting dirty looks, people telling me to slow down. I dont give a crap. they can handle it. Where the HELL is room 609?!Wait! ... 604..605..606..607..608..609! Finally!

"ohmygosh..Cesar.." It looked like he had gone through war. Like some asshole had run him over, not caring if he would live, if he was expected at home, by his mother and father and little and older sisters. I hope i find that asshole, and bury him alive. If he was still alive after i did much worse to him than he did Cesar. I hope he dies. I dont care anymore. No more nice me.. I hope he dies a terrible, exteemly painful death.
Immediately i run over to his bed side, and i grab the hand that his mother is not crying on. How could someone do this? How could they live with themselves? I dont know how on Earth they could sleep at night, knowing my friend is here in the hospital, sliding off into the oblivion..slowly reaching a well agonized yet anticipated death. Cesar. Please. dont..go..

"It's no use. go home Angel. He'd gone. I think we should just let him go. Tell the doctors to let him go. I cant stand to watch him anymore." If Mrs. Torres didnt say that, i dont know who in the world would have.
i stare at her blankly at first, then with such ferocity that it even scared me. Not for long. I looked at her for what seemed like infinity, until she backed away, and recoiled, seeming to regret that she said anything.
"what?" the voice that is speaking is not my own. I swear some thing was possesing me. It was a threatening, almost daring whisper. I could almost here her shock. her fear.

"I-uh.. nothing..." His mom was looking really scared. Like i was going to hit her or something. The dad just sat back and watched. I dont think he was really paying attention. He was off in his own little world.
"NO! you did say something. How could you!? That is your son, your baby boy, how in the hell could you say that about him? do you really want to lose him? Is that was you want? One less mouth to feed, and one less kid to buy shoes for at the begining of each school year? what are you thinking? thats your baby. the one that came out of you. The one you carried around for nine months. the one you used to clean scraped knees for, and heal broken hearts for. The one you used to laugh with, and argue over the dishes. The one who made you breakfast in bed for no reason, other than he loved you. He still does. He needs you! your his mom for Christ's sake! Please, dont give up on him. He needs us. Please..." My last words were choked with emotion. she rushed over to me , and hugged me with all her strength.
"oh honey, i know. He does need us! he needs you, por favor, ayuda me. Yo nesecito mi hijo!"
"dont worry.. its all going to be okay. He will be okay, just wait. You'll see." Who am i trying to convince? I need to believe that, but somehow, i have this small little hopeless feeling. What if he doesnt come back?

as soon as she lets me go, i am back with Cesar. I talk to him like nothing ever happened. Like we were back at my house, on the porch swing in the blistering heat, taking turns fanning each other..
"Hey dude. what's up? You have missed a lot of school man. you are going to have to make up all that homework! get your lazy but outta bed, and get ready for school. Its already 10:00.. youre going to miss the bus! hurry, cuz i sure as hell aint gonna take your lazy buns there!"

No response.

"Cesar, Please come back.. i cant stand not knowing if you are okay. I need you. I need help on my Spanish homework. I dont know how to conjugate the infinitive 'oir' i need you.. i want to sit on our buts in the mud in the park, and to walk to the bus together, getting in as much time as possible before i have to do my homework.I need you to hold my hand. My heart hurts right now. you are the only one who can fix it. When you wake up, i will throw you a party. A HUGE one, but only you, me, Taylor, and my new friend Austin are going to be there. I will buy you that pen that you wanted for your Ipad. i know you really wanted one of those, and i know you wont buy yourself one. ha. you really need to get a job!.. I met this new guy, his name is Austin. he just moved in next door to me. I have a secret to tell you... I think i am in love with him. He just knows what to say and when to say it. He is everything i have ever dreamed for in a guy. he's smart and funny, and knows how to heal me when i'm depressed. He knows how to talk to me, and make me feel important... I need you buddy. I need you to tell me how awesome a guy Austin is. I need you to sit and gossip with me, and go to the mall when i know you really wanted to go to Adventure land that day instead. i pinkie promise that i wont ever make you get a hair cut again! you can let it grow down to your ankles, and i wont say a word! please man, im dying here. I dont think i can go on without you. You are one of the only real people who know me, and love me for who i am. Who still care, and stay with me when i throw up all night, or i get in a fight with my parents. If you come back to me, i swear to god i will never make you go to the mall again, or force you to ask that pretty girl you saw at the park if you could have her number... I pinkie promise.."
I grab onto his hand, and i hold it there, and then i interlock our pinkies. I just let it rest there. I lay my head down on his hand, and i cry. I let it out, and it flows like a river. I dont know how much more i can take. But i have to stay strong. For Cesar. For his mom, and dad. For me. For my life, I cant slip into self wallowing pity, and just lay there until i feel like getting up. I have to get up, and fight for my Best Friend. Because i know he cant, and if i was in his situation, He would never stop. He would fight tooth and nail, until i came back. Now its my turn
"wh-" Did he just.. am i.. What?..I swear i just felt him squeeze my pinkie.
"Cesar?.. listen buddy, if you can hear me, squeeze my pinkie again. Please Cesar, let me know if you're alive. Try man, Try.. I just need to know you are alive, and are going to come back to me.."

After a little while, I felt him squeeze my pinkie. Harder this time.
" Oh, Cesar! Thank you! Thank you! Thank God! ohmygod. i thought you would never come back.. I was so scared. Thank you Jesus! Thank you! I am forever in your debt. Oh, Cesar.. I love you. you are the bestest friend i have ever had. Its a miracle. Keep fighing. Dont stop. You cant give up, we need you. Your mom and dad need you. Johana and Jasmine need you. I need you. Thank you God! I was so terrified. Dont leave now. you CANT give up!"
I could litteraly feel the relief in the room. it felt like years of worrying, just melted off me. I could breathe again. I know this is just the begining, but it feels like the worst part is over. He's alive, and that's the best gift anyone could have EVER given me. His mom, and even dad, and someone with powerful, muscular arms were embracing me. We were all crying. I swear its like we just saw Jesus walk in the room, it was that amazing.
We heard a throat clear, and we immediately all jumped back, in suprise. It was like we were caught doing something wrong, by just hoping he would live.
"Um, I dont know what to say. It seems as though he is responding now. he is no longer in acoma, his vitals are slowly coming back to normal, and his heart beet is going steady. He is going to live guys. He is going to live! Angel, thank you.. you are a true hero. You saved his life, again.. I dont think WE can ever repay YOU.. You are truely a god-send. You have saved more than just a life. you have saved the hopes of all these people, and that, is nothing short of a miracle itself. thank you. From the bottom of my heart." Dr.Earlbacher was actually crying. I want to Hug him... So i did. at first, he just kinda froze, and then he relaxed, and returned the embrace. I dont think i have EVER felt this good in my life. I am crying tears of joy.

"Angel?" a soft, familiar and comforting voice startles me from the embrace. Austin.. when did he get here?

"Austin!" i yelped.
"Hey.. I missed you. Are you okay?.." He looked extreemly concerned. I love this kid. I really do. If only i could tell him...
"Shh..I'm fine. I'm not in any pain... Just in my heart. I thought i was going to lose him for good. I dont think i could have handled that.." I was crying into his sholder, and snot was getting on his shirt, but he didnt care. He just held me tighter. I love him so much. Its practically hurting because i love him so bad.
"Angel, look at me..." he waited until i met his gaze." I love you. I always have, you are beautiful, and i love you. I wanted to tell you a long time ago, but i was scared you wouldnt love me too.. i dont care anymore.. I love you.." My heart skipped more than one beat. It stopped al together. Did he just say that? His gaze was piercing my very soul. I thought i would melt in his arms, simply by looking back.
"I love you too. I will always love you." His lips met mine, and i melted into the moment. Life was good. This was going to be a long, hard road, but i was ready. I had Austin, and Dr.Earlbacher, and Cesar's parents.. what more did i need.. Taylor.. where is she?
As if she heard my thoughts, She stepped into the door, looking like a ghost just slapped her.
"Angel! OHMYGOD! i heard everything. Austin called me. It took a long time for me to realize he actually did know you, and that he was telling the truth. My mom took my car, so i ran here as fast as i could. are you ok?...Cesar.. oh no.. oh, no, no, no!!!!! CESAR!! "
she ran over to him, knocking the Dr. out of the way. He fell back in suprise.
"oh buddy. How are you? You look like shit. Oh my god! where have you been? who the hell did this to you!? "
"Taylor, calm down. I just got him to respond to me. There was a lot going on today. Just relax. He's going to be okay. and as soon as he can communicate, and tell us who took him, we will hunt that bastard down, and make him wish he was never born. He will not get away with this, if it's the last thing i ever do! but for now, let him rest. I am going to stay here overnight. who ever else wants to, is sure welcome. I dont think the Dr. will mind.. Right Dr.Earlbacher?.. please? can we stay? I cant go home tonight. I seriously doubt any of us will sleep tonight anyways. He needs us here, right by him.. Please?"

"I have no objection to that. You can stay everynight until he gets better if you want. If i get fired, i dont care. This is more important than my job. His life is more important than whether or not i am fired. I will go home here shortly, and bring blankets, and food..Hospital chow is terrible..Austin, will you come help me? I think i might need some help getting blankets and pillows and food for all of you tonight.?"
"Dr! thank you!!! thank you more than anything in the world! You are my life savor! Thank you for all your help! it really means a lot to us.." I am so happy with him. He is giving us his full support, without even knowing us. He truely does have a kind heart. Bless his soul.

" No problem at all, anything i can do, let me know. i will be at home tonight, but i will be back by 5 tomorrow morning. If you need me, here is my personal cell phone number. Call me if you need anything. Anything at all... My number is, (712) 867-5309.. If you need anything, dont be afraid to call."

"Thank you.." then, Austin stands, and half an hour later, they are back, with blankets and pillows, and lots of Gatorade, and mmm.. Lasagna! i didnt realize how hungry i was until i smelled that deliscious food. Oh, that smells like heaven. He dished it out, and handed us forks, and bottles of gatorade, and then produced a bag of Nacho Doritos, and Dilly Bars from Dairy Queen.. omg.. he really didnt have to.
"Thank you soo much Dr., You are an amazing person. We couldnt have stayed sane without you."
"Dont mention it. I am glad to help... right now, i have a very hungry dog waiting for me at home. I hate to leave, but if i dont, she will claw her way through the door, and eat out of the garbage cans again.. Good night everyone.. I will see you in the morning."

And just like that, he was gone. We took turns over night, watching and sleeping. I didnt sleep at all. i was sitting in the window, watching the rain and lightning. I wish Me, Taylor and Cesar, and Austin were outside, at the park right now, watching the lightning, and jumping in the puddles.. If only..

The Longest night of my life...

I have been upall night. This has been hell. I havent said a word to anyone.. i have been waiting for austin to take over, to do his shift for the night. I miss him. Holding him, loving him. Him holding me. i want to be in his arms right now.
"hey.." As if he read my mind, he was there, breathing down my neck, giving me chills.
"hi. How are you?" we were whispering so that no one would wake up. he sat down next to me, and just stared in silence as the night raged in a terrible thunderstorm. Great.. just the kind of weather i like, but not now. Not when Cesar is still so badly hurt.. now it just kinda makes me depressed and mad.
"Dont ask. Its been a really long night.I haven't gotten not even five seconds of sleep. And i know you sure as hell haven't either. I have been waiting for my shift. I've been watching you, wishing i could hold you and kiss you. You have no idea how hard it was to restain myself!"
"haha. That just made my mood bump up a little bit. You know, i Love you... I couldnt believe it when you told me that yesterday, and when you admitted it, i did too. I already knew from the night we went to the movies, and somehow we ended up being more than friends. I do love you. And i dont want you to leave me.. Ever."
"Angel, you have no idea what this is like for me. One day, i was in sunny, beautiful but really crowded streets of California, and the next, i am here, in no where, Iowa. I dont know how, exactly, but here i am. and i am not going to leave you.. ever."
"Pinkie Promise?" The hope in my voice was not hidden. I left it out there, hoping he wouldnt lie, change his mind, or hurting me... Just like Devon. But no, I dont think he would ever leave. I always knew Devon would leave. I know that Austin wont. Never. Ever.Ever.
"forever and always."
"Sometimes, i look at you and wonder how i ever fell in love with a guy like you. I usally dont go out with amazing guys. Just look at Devon. That should tell you what my ex's are like. But for some odd reason, i know that this is right. i know that you're the one. I just wish you would have come sooner..before Devon. Before all the pain i have gone through to get you now."

"I wish i had come sooner too. I know that now that i do have you, i will never let you go. You're too precious for me to lose you. I dont think i could handle that... You know, with your hazel eyes, and light brown hair, you kinda look like a fairy. A really pretty one. I know you are the prettiest fairy i have ever seen..Cartoon or real. All you're missing is the wings and you would probably have to be at least five feet shorter. then you would only be 6 inches tall."
"you're too kind. I dont think so, but what ever. hey, i think Cesar is awake.. is his eyes open?"
immediately, i am by his side. Austin is on the other side of me, and i'm looking right at Cesar. His eyes are open..Am i dreaming?
"Cesar?" My whisper sounds like i am screaming. The room is really still. i think every one is awake. I dont dare look back and check. What if i lost him?
"yeah... I'm awake." God i missed his voice! I thought i would go crazy if i couldn't hear his laughter, or see him smile, or even yell ever again. Not that he yelled much anyways.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh my god! guys, wake up! he's awake!" I havent laughed for what seems like years. It was a hearty, relieved, joyful laugh. It felt good, and i know everyone was awake already when i ran over to his bed. So now, We are all definately awake, and rough-housing. It was like someone had just given us freedom after a whole life of captivity. It was that good.
"hey..Angel?"
"Yeah, Cesar?" The room got immediately quiet. Everyone had shut up. They were in awe.. I could litteraly feel thier disbelief.
"Can i talk to you..Alone?" His voice was so quiet and barely audible, but every one heard it, and as soon as he said it, everyone magically was hungry, or had to use the bathroom.
once everyone had left, i turned back to him, expecting him to laugh, cry, scream.. something. i was greeted by silence. After a long moment of silence, he finally said something.
"Thank you.. You are my life saver, I owe you my life since you saved it.. I could never have made it without you. I barely made it to your door. he was looking for me, chasing me. He was fast, And i would have been fast, but i was hurt. i didnt know where i was going, until i ended up on your street. It was a miracle. I knew which house you were in. I knew it wasnt yours, i saw you take that cat out, and go next door, i tried to scream your name, but i couldnt speak. It was still late in the day when i last saw you. Sunny and So hott. I just fainted, and didnt wake until i found ants crawling in and out of my wound in my arm. I just want to thank you, and tell you that you saved my life."
"Cesar, you would have done the same for me. It doesnt matter, you would have done it anyday. I'm so glad you're okay. I dont think i would continue to live if you didnt. I couldn't forgive myself for that. I would probably commit suicide. I couldn't live without you."
"Dont say that. You wouldnt kill yourself. You would know that you didnt do anything... it was..Him. The guy that took me on my way to the Plane in Omaha. I know him. He..lives in Harlan. here... with us."
"WHAT?! who? Cesar, you HAVE to tell me! now!"
"I- I cant."
"you HAVE to! do you want him to do that to someone else, like your sister, Jasmine? what if he took her. What would you say? what would you do?"
"fine. i'll tell you, but you cannot cry okay? You have to stay strong. You cant get mad. I will tell you, But i'm also scared to hurt you. You knew him.. Knew him well, and loved him...I'm sorry"
"just tell me." I closed my eyes and waited for the response. My whole body was tense, ready to explode. I did want to know, but then again, i didnt really want to.
"it was Devon...."
"NO! Devon? are you sure?"
"yes, Angel, 100 percent sure. I'm sorry. he took me, and said that this was your revenge. He said he still loved you, and you left him. He was livid, and took me. He said that you would miss your little Mexican friend, and he would take his revenge on me.. When i tried to leave the first time, he broke three of my ribs. I was locked in his tornado shelter room for what felt like years. I prayed to God that someone would find me, anyone but him..And then it happened. he left the door unlocked for a few minutes. that was all i needed. He thought i was asleep, and he went to go pee, and that was when i escaped. I staggered all the way to your neighbors place... I'm so sorry Angel. I know you loved him. I'm so sorry.. Please forgive me. I knew i would hurt you, Angel, say something."
"I-I-I-I cant believe it..Devon?..My ex boyfriend, Devon? How could he!? He will pay. I will fight until he is locked up or dead. I hope he likes prison, Young, fresh meat for the older male prisoners, cuz that is where he will be soon. I will make sure he regrets every second he had you! i will make him PAY! He will never see the light of day again!"
"Calm down, Angel. You're scaring me. Please, just sit down. Please?"
"No. I have to go tell the police. Cesar, Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are the bestest friend ever. I will be right back. I will make him pay. You'll see. I will take care of him. I will take Taylor and Austin with me, and i'm going to the police station. We are not going to call them, we're going in person. Just you wait. he will be sorry. I will be back as soon as i possibly can.. Just relax. Take it easy."
"Ok..Thank you.. i was scared i would have to do it myself. I was scared that i would be alone. I dont know how to thank you."
"just stay alive. Thats all i want in this world..You, alive, Forever and ever."
"bye.. Good luck."
"thanks"
and just like that, i am out the door, i tell his parents to go back inside. It may be only 2:00 A.M, but i dont care. I pulled Taylor and Austin with me, and they had no idea where we were going. They just came with out a complaint.
"woah Angel, slow down. I cant keep up.. here. We can take my car. Turn right.." Austin was panting, and Taylor was about 5 feet back, trying her best to get her skinny, short legs to catch up... it wasnt working. I am a skilled runner. If i can outrun skinny, lanky and muscular, really fit Austin, that means im fast as hell.. I didn't care to stop for about 10 more minutes. at one point, i lost the two of them. I crashed right in front of the Police station, and here comes Austin's red, shiny car.
"Get in! It's raining hard, you have to get in!"
So i got in the car, and i cried. I cried and cried and cried. I thought i was never going to cry again, that all my tears were dried up.. guess not..
after a while of crying, i pulled myself together, and I told them the whole story. I didn't leave out a single detail. they were horrified. Taylor actually rolled down the window and threw up. Austin gripped the wheel until his knuckles turned white. He was staring straight ahead. he looked like he was so gripped by anger that he could not even focus on the reality of this world, so he had to escape to his own. One that allowed him to cope with all the things that were going on.. It took him a while to regroup..
"I should have known. The way he treated you like garbage should have told me.. He was a monster to you. I wanted to kill him at the theatre, and now i really wish i would have."
"no..you didn't know. You cant beat yourself up over this. You had no idea. Its ok, I'm going into the station right now. we cant take care of him ourselves. We dont want to end up in jail with him ,no matter how much we want to kill him, we cant.. We are doing this for Cesar, and we cannot let him lose us too. just dont do anything stupid. He needs us. Come..Come inside with me. Both of you.. Lets go, the sooner they know, the sooner that bastard will be locked up, and living a miserable life in prison."
"Yeah. sure..ok.. lets go."
"Taylor? Are you going to come?"
"hell yeah.. Lets go turn in this Mo-Fo."

The second we walked into the station, an officer greeted us, With a serious, yet friendly look on his face. He was tall, and looked like he could get in a wrestling match with The Undertaker, and come out without a scratch. He looked like he might even be able to strangle a lion with his bare hands.. This guy was scarey.
"Officer, i need to speak to someone.. Now. I cannot wait, this is my friends life at stake.. he is in the hospital after being kidnapped by my Ex-boyfriend a few weeks ago. No one knew he was missing until he showed up at my neighbors house that i was spending the night in.. Please, we need someone, ASAP!"
"I guess i can take this case. I want to catch the Perp, and make him get his fair share of justice. Where is this guy that kidnapped your Friend? What adress does he reside?"
All heads turned to me. "I will show you the way.."
"Good lets go."
I was practically speeding, i didnt care though.. I just wanted revenge. I wanted him to feel what Cesar was feeling, right now, laying in an uncomfortably hard and springy bed, the pain that surged through Cesar, I wanted Devon to feel it a million times worse. I have never been so mad in my life. I looked at how fast i was going. 107 MPH. Good. At least i wont get in trouble. Thank God for dirt roads and police escorts.
A few seconds before i got to his house, i slowed down to a crawl.Then i eased to a complete stop.
i got out of the car, walked to the officer, and called out through the rain..
"That's his house." I was screaming."Do you need us to come?"
"No. i just called for back up. They are on their way. You need to go back to the Hospital. Your friend will be waiting with 2 officers for interrogation and security. Meet me back in the Hospital by 5:30. I will wait in the Cafeteria."
" ok.. Thank you!"
" just doing my job.. Now, go, Your friend needs you"
I just wanted some sleep. I could not keep my eyes open.. Good thing Austin was driving, Good thing i related the officers orders before i passed out again. This time, i welcomed the sleep. I begged my mind to stay asleep. And that was exactly what happened.

Revenge

Woah.. Where am I? It takes me a minute until i realize that i am lying in Austin's bed. Well, thats a first. I didnt think the first time i would lay in his bed, it would be without him.. Hmmm... I think he just walked in the room, but i dont feel like moving. It was a nice sleep..
"Good morning beautiful..How did you sleep?"
"wow.. I feel like a princess.. My dreams were good, but nothing compared to the realilty of you, i would rather be awake! You are WAY better than my dreams."
"mmm... Scoot over, i wanna get warm with you."
"yes master!" I teased him back. He looks so nice with the sun in his hair.. I could look at him forever! If only..
"mmm you smell good! Did you use my moms shampoo? It smells just like her Treseme one.. I like it more on you."
"Why thank you kind sir. you dont smell to bad yourself..I like the Old spice on you more than my older brother anyways."
" I thought you might."

In an hour, we were in the car, and on our way to the hospital. I lost that flirtatious feeling back when i got out of the shower, and realized that i had to go to the Hospital.. It wore off, and here we are again..
"Hey man, How are you?" Austin and Cesar sound like old friends, despite having only known each other for less than a week.. Oh well, i kinda even like it that way!
"I been better. You?"
"Ha.. Angel's a handful.. No way to keep her under control" I spun around when Austin said that, only to realize he was joking.. man.. what is wrong with me today? Why am i so jumpy and pissy? I am NOT PMSing.. I would know if i was.. I dont know, but something is really bugging me.. I just cant put a finger on it.ugh!
"I know! she can be so difficult! Ha..Just kidding Angel.Hey. Whats wrong?"
"ugh.i dont really know.. Just something is driving me nuts. I think i might be just a little but depressed?"
" not sure. Maybe i should be a Phyciatrist, and i could let you know in a few years" He had that smile back, and that was all it took for me to break down and cry.I wasnt sad, I just realized that it would be okay. It was going to be a long hard road, but i know that it is going to be the best time of my life.. I only have a year left.. What am i going to do? College? Hobo? Marrying a REALLY rich guy so i dont have to worry about anything?..I think i know what i want, but sometimes, what you want and what reality is, are two very different things. No time for confusion, and hours of debating, i have to do it now. It is almost the end of the year, schools out in less than a week, and I have HUGE end of the year semester tests. I am 100% sure i am going to pass, but i also dont know what comes next.. I have to buy a car, look at colleges, and look at the rest of my life. My parents are not going to help me, but i know that things might somehow be okay if i just let the flow keep flowing, and i keep those people who really mean something to me closer than i keep my own self. I think that I just need to cry. So, i cried. the only thing that i hate about crying is not the fact that i used to believe it made me appear weak, but that i look like a racoon after wards. That and the fact that i look like a mess. I have a runny nose, my face feels scrunched up, and i just cant talk as well because i have a really Stuffy, Runny nose! Oh well.
Austin held me for a long time. I just cried. He must think i'm insane. But if he did, he wouldnt be here with me, holding me with all his strength and comfort that he can muster. I know just how in love i am, and it feels like Heaven...As much as the rest of my life feels like a living hell.
I love this kid, and he loves me. How much better could life get??
....... My parents could love me, and pay attention to me...My Brother could treat me like a sister, and not like some random chick on the street. People at school(when i was still in public school..which i will be tomorrow.. !!?! Tomorrow!! I only just realized that i have to go to school tomorrow! AHHHH!) could not act like i am something that is worthy of being afraid of. My teachers could look deeper into my intellectual level, and actually see that there's more to me. Im not what everyone expects me to be. I am who i am, and you cant change me. Sorry if you dont like me, but i am a human being too. I just want to be noticed, loved, appreciated.... That would make my life better!

Tonight, I am going to do the unthinkable. I just dont want anyone else to find out. I want to hurt Devon, make him cry and beg and scream for mercy. I want him to feel all Cesar felt, and way more. I want him to beg me like a puppy, and grovel at my feet. I want him to pay.
But somehow as the hours pass, i get less and less angry. I still want all those things, but, i dont want to go to jail myself. I want to make Cesar happy, and not end up in prison! CRAP! if only i was a person who was conscious free. No worries, just impulsive reactions... IF ONLY!
I dont know what to do. Devon is at the Sioux City County Jail, and is awaiting a trial, and they are still analyzing Cesar's statement. I just wish they would go faster. Why dont they just throw his sorry but in jail!? I really dont care what happens to him in jail, i just wish they would go faster, it really worries us that Devon is not officially locked up yet, I really just want this all to be over with, so we can get on with our lives!!!


So much for revenge! THAT went out the window, as soon as it came! ugh!

FINALLY!!

Thank God Almighty! Devon was found guilty of Kidnapping and attempted first degree murder. Cesar got out of the Hospital last night, but is still supposed to be on bed rest until further notice. All those broken, fractured, or sprained bones are really going to be the worse part of the healing for him. The doctor says that even though he's really probably not supposed to, he will make a house call just for Cesar. He talked to me that day that Cesar got out of the Hospital, and told me that i just saved my friends life, and he said i was a true God-send. He says he hopes me the best in life, and that someday, when i win the Nobel Prize, to make sure that i remember him, and that i should know that i really would deserve it. I thanked him for everything, and even though i knew it would be slightly awkward, i hugged him. Not just any hug..
It was a bear hug! he was at first shocked, and unresponsive, then really quickly, he embraced me and gave me a big bear hug too. I think that man has saved more lives than i can ever imagine, and here he is, thanking me, for being a hero, when it should really be him getting the congradulatory.. He is the one who should be awknowleded. Not me. I only did what any true friend would do. I did the only thing i could allow myself to do. Support him. Help him. Do anything i could to make sure that he would still be alive. I did the same thing that he would have done for me anyday.
So we went to the Court today, and found out that Devon was fully competent to stand trial, and he pleaded not guilty, but the jurors found it in them not to believe the two faced liar. WE WON! It feels like things are FINALLY starting to come together! I dont know that i have ever felt this relieved since Cesar woke up. I have been sooo tense, spending the nights at Austin or Cesar's House. I would stay with Austin one night, and then Cesar the Next, and all weekend with Cesar. I am now back im public school, although i really dont know why, i only have tomorrow left of school anyways. I took a billion tests today, for the semester test, to ultimately determine whether or not i learned anything this year(just sayin'-I did. Online school has taught me things that i wont even need until college, so yeah, I learned A LOT!), and when i took the Chemistry Test, i totally knew that i passed. The look on the Professors face when he glimpsed over my sholder showed alot, more than the look that he gives that really smart guy with the fancy calculator, and HUGE vocabulary. i still dont know his name. Oh well. The Professor looked extreemly pleased, and i could tell that he was thinking that i might not only be great at chemistry, but that i was a freaking GENIUS! Austin told me that the teacher informed his last class that only two people got 100 percent scores. A new Girl, and of course, the guy with the fancy calculator. I know that new Girl, and i think that she happens to be really awesome, and really smart. I just wonder why other people dont see her that way? hmm.. Whatever, if others dont see it, how do they really expect great things from me? So if i FAIL in life, it wont matter to anyone but me, because no one expected me to do great things in life. No one saw it in me, but me. Go Figure!
I really have to study for this Algebra 2 test tomorrow, I really dont think my teacher will be there first thing in the morning, so yeah.. Mr.Cundy can wait! I will just be there later in the day! Hope he really doenst mind. If he does, oh well. I dont really need to be there, i just told him i would be so i could ask him a few questions before the huge test.
My favorite test of the day will be the Spanish test that i only have to answer one question on anyways. That is my favorite teacher, and I really dont want to sit in that class for a whole hour, and only take one question, and not be able to talk to her, because the other people in that class have to take nearly the full test, which is like 50 questions, all of them dificult to understand if you dont study. Which is what all of the classmates in there fail to do.. Study.. REALLY!! it is really not that hard! Just study a little bit each night, and just pay attention. NOT THAT HARD!! I dont think i am going to get to bed tonight. I dont think that Austin will either. We had a long talk today after school. He proposed to me. Why i dont know! He says that the only reason he asked me, was because he doesnt want anyone else to have me, that he wants me all to myself. He doesnt ever want to lose me, and just to make sure, he proposed to me. I was sooo happy! I think that you could hear my scream all the way to china! i was THAT HAPPY! things since the whole Cesar accident have been getting way better. If Cesar is going to be healed completely, he cannot get out of bed, AT ALL!! if he does, he might break of hurt something else, and i dont think any of us really wants to see him back in the hospital, and to take another few weeks out of our summer break! Cesar is supposed to be lieing in bed, and trust me, that boy takes FULL advantage of that! whenever i am at his house, he always asks me to be a good slave, and get him some water, or his peeing bowl. I would do just about anything for Cesar, but helping him pee is not one of them! I really dont feel like helping him hold his thing, while he takes a whiz. His dad can do that! That would be awkward beyond belief!

My parents have been driving me nuts lately, telling me all this crap that i have to do this summer, and 'laying down the expectations'. (Yes, that's EXACTLY whay they said!)I really dont think they are gonna be here all summer, and anyways, even if they are, i wont be! The basic expectations are not that hard, but i dont wanna do them, because that would be like helping them, and that's the LAST thing i would want to do for them!
Yeah, EXPECTATION 1: whenever i am at home, i have to help my parents by doing the dishes, and feeding the cat and our dog.
EXPECTATION 2: I MUST keep my room clean. (Yeah, not gonna happen.)
EXPECTATION 3: No Computer the whole summer, because I didnt get an 'A' on my Calculus semester test. So what, at least i got a B+! that's way better than what other people can get OK!? GEEZ! get off my back! Big whoop. I no longer have a 4.0 GPA. CRY ME A RIVER, BUILD ME A BRIDGE, AND GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's currently at a 3.97! whatever..
and last but certainly not the best, EXPECTATION 4: I cannot stay out later than 9:30 every night.
Hope they like to be disrespected, because there is no way i am going to follow EXPECTATION 4!! one two and three i have no need to worry about, because i sure as hell wont be here any time this summer! i am going to live at Taylor's house the ENTIRE time. So dont worry Mommy Daddy, you wont see my discraceful face at all this summer! YEAH!!!!!!!

School's Out

No way. Not possible. I would never have thought that this day would come. I am FINALLY done with school. Only about an hour ago, my whole entire school was having a water ballon fight in the back parkinglot, and now here i am, cruising in Taylor's "race car" as she likes to call it. Its a bright red sports car, and she drives like a maniac. I swear someone will get hurt because of her lunatice driving. Its fun though. I really dont mind. I just opened her sunroof of her car, and here i am, laughing like crazy, singing along to "Young and Wild and Free" out the top of her car. Then, people start to honk their horn and wave, and lower their windows and blare their music. And those with sunroofs, follow suit. Yeah, it might look crazy as hell, but who cares? I'm having fun. Sorry if you are too scared to have fun, but i dont care what people think about me. I do what I want, when i want. I dont give a damn what you think about me.
"so what we go out, that's how it's supposed to be....we're young and wild and free!!!!!!!"

that was Taylor's horrendous version of the song, and i get back in the car, and fall in a fit of giggles. I just flipped off the Chemistry teacher. That's what i thought of his test. Now Taylor and i cannot stop laughing. Other people around us in the parking lot, are laughing. The teacher is staring at me like im crazy. Whatever, school's out. You can give me detention next year if your still mad about it. This has got to be THE best day ever. We are now on our way to Austin's house. He is going to have a party for the last day of school so that we can burn all if our school papers. That is the sole reason people keep all their papers all year, just for the Burn Party! The party isn't until later tonight, but i want to get ready, and help out. This is going to be a Magical night. I can already tell. I still have to fill up the other 1/4 of his pool that i got too lazy to fill yesterday. UGH! Maybe i could just leave it on while i take a shower? Yeah, i'll do that. I HAVE to look amazing tonight. I am Austin's girlfriend, and i have to look casual summer glow good, and not nasty, average, or like im trying too hard. It's got to be perfect. This is going to be the night that could change the whole senior year for me and my peers. This could be the night. Austin plans on announcing our engagement tonight, I told him not to, but he says he wants to show me off to the world. I love him.. And that's what i told him, and he said what we have is more than love. He just has to find the word that describes how powerful this is. He says that this is more then what old people feel for each other after spending a lifetime together. More than Spongebob loves the Krusty Krab, more than Squidward cherishes his Clairinet, more than Mr.Krabs worships money, and more than Plankton NEEDS the Secret Formula for the Krabby Patties. He told me that, and i think i fell deeper into love with him.. Gee, wonder how long it took to make that up? I know that things are going to be great. For now. I have SOOOO many plans for the summer, and i just cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope that my parents decide to simmer down and let me do what i want, and just leave me ALONE! i guess i really shouldnt criticise them, they are putting all the food on the the table, but i just dont like them. Heck, i know its wrong, But i dont even love them... I dont know them. I never talk to them. My mom gave me a hug 12 years ago when i was 5 years old. I dont remember it, but she will say it happened. I hardly ever talk to my dad. I just kinda live on my own,do what ever i feel like doing. Sometimes i think that my parents are lucky that im a good kid. Any other High School student would be along for the ride, doing drugs and drinking. I tried to drink beer once, and yeah, it was only a sip any i was gagging. I dont do really anything bad. I could be dead by now, and my parents wouldnt notice. They would assume i went over to someone's house, and not worry. Thats how that would go down.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the party starts in an hour. WOW! i look GOOD! Austin cannot takes his eyes off me! or hands! i am wearing a black flowy tank top that is sparkly and dark blue denim shorts, and black pumps. I love It!! ok, so my makeup is simple, but great! i put just a tiny bit of foundation and NO EYELINER! Austin's mom said that Scientists use baby bunnies to test them on! I wont wear Lipstick either, because that i found out, is made of shark fat. THATS GROSS! then, i put on a few coats of mascara and I used a glossy, sparkly gold eye tracer (DIFFERENT FROM EYELINER!) around my upper eye lid, and then i used a pale smokey eye look, and my hair is thrown back into a messy, but chic pony tail, and man! i look great!
Cant wait to see the look on people's face when they see me, and Austin announces our engagement!! i can just see that smirk on Liza's face wipe clear off! OOHH! i just cant wait!

~IT'S PARTY TIME~

This party is CRAZY! there are SOO many people here, and i just dont know where to start! All the people that have come in, have seen me and openly stared. And i just smiled at them all. I swear to god, when Liza walked in, i could feel her hate and jealousy. She look nasty. Like a heroin addict that tried to quit! her face is sunk in,and her hair looks long, ratty and greasy.. She is with Devon, and you can tell what Devon is thinking. Ever since i have come back to public school, people have been noticing me more, and him less. I dont know why, but my gut feeling is that Austin plays a BIG part in that. I cannot thank him enough! I seriously think that this is fate, or destiny or what ever you want to call it. All i know is that this is that HAPPIEST i have EVER been! To watch Devon AND Liza's mouth gap open with pure shock and jealousy just topped off the best night of my life! I cant wait to go swimming and show off my new tanned, toned figure! with my amazing bikini, nothing can go wrong! I think that if i were to go swimming, i should probably take off my eyeshadow, but the mascara and eye tracer are water proof, so i think i will be fine! Oh, and my Foundation is water proof. I like this already!

Ok, we just took all our papers, and put them in the burn pile, and now that thats burning and all okay, Austin sneaks over to me, and takes me back inside. Finally! we are alone..

" Did i ever tell you that you look amazing?" His voice is like butter! Well.. better than that.. Chocolate? YEAH!
"Yeah, but I would allow you to say it again.. And again..and again.."
I cannot get enough of his laugh!

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 26.04.2012

Alle Rechte vorbehalten