The essence of unwanted love

..........CHAPTER ONE........

The Imperial Academy is the most prestigious school in the entire country. All the famous son's and daughters attend this school. They may be new celebrities or may be old ancestry, both rich and famous. I, Yuki Clarise also attend this so called "luxurious paradise" but to me it feels like a being a servant in a mansion. The rich kids think themselves so beautiful, powerful and none shall get in their way, that everyone must by all means follow their orders because of their "status" . They think everyone who is not rich, are not human. I despise these rich folk, but most of all, I despise Haru Ichirou Kamiya. All the girls fawn over him, however I disagree. He's not that handsome. They're all crazy, lunatics. He's nothing special. Yes, he may have the highest grades in all subjects, best in all sports, fluent in 5 different languages including english, french, italian, spanish and japanese and all the members and students of the school adore him and he's the youngest company manager in the country BUT he's not all that, nope. I find it disgusting like the way he makes all the girls cry after they confess to him, he hasn't a single soft bone in his entire body. How cruel. I'm not rich like they are. I live in my own apartment near the school. Its a nice house and I have a part time job. I work as the maid and do some odd jobs in the school and sort out the rude obnoxious rich guys. They call me the "The school's Prefect" There are a lot of messed up rich kids who think due to their status they don't have to follow the rules. Principle can't really say anything as the school runs on the students parent's funds, but I however am not obliged. I am his weapon. I get a different uniform than everyone else so I always stand out, but I am disliked by all, because I am the only one who does not allow their attrocities in the academy. I love my part time job too. To be honest I don't really have a choice. I have to keep my job whether or not I like it, as I need to pay for a living. Nothing is free in this world, as you must already know. It's not easy and its lonely living by yourself, but it was not my choice. I also have a deep secret but I hope no one finds out about it. It makes me depressed, but I will never back down. I always try my best at everything I do. I have to always try my hardest to move on in life and leave my past behind. I won't allow it to haunt me. I am a different person to who I was a few years ago, completely different. I wonder what were to happen if someone did find out my secret. I hope that day never comes.

 

"Okay class. The term is just starting and the school's annual play "Cinderella" will play at the main hall. I can't believe it, but for once OUR class gets to put on a play. So kids, It's time to choose the roles"

 

All the girls squealed in excitement. Haru however hated it all and sighed. As expected from Mr "too cool for anything"

 

"Oh gosh! Yes! For once our class gets to put on a play and it's Cinderella! Yaay! We all know Romeo will be Haru"

 

The girls giggled.

 

" Okay students. I've decided that Haru will be the prince"

 

Haru looked up at the teacher.

 

"What? Why me? Ask someone else to do it"

 

The teacher 'Mr. Young" looked like he was going to cry.

 

"No! You have to! If you be the Prince, more people (girls) will come to see the play and you fit the role too!"

 

He blatantly refused.

 

"But why??"

 

He groaned.

 

"I hate play's. It's pointless and a waste of time. I could be studying instead of wasting time revising lines for a silly play"

 

The boys laughed.

 

"It isn't silly. It's a part of your school work and worth half your grade. I said it now. Your the prince, no objections"

 

Haru looked angry and frowned.

 

"Okay class. Quiet down! Now it's time to choose the role for Juliet"

 

Suddenly all the girls smiled, giggled and kept staring at Haru, who ignored them all and wanted none of this. What a dream it would be for those loser girls to be Cinderella. They didn't think about having the "main lead" but more about being "married" (pretend" to Haru and to have him put the glass shoe on them. Stupid girls.

 

Mr. Young picked a piece of chit from a hat.

 

"The role of Cinderella will go to...Yuki!"

 

Haru turned from his seat to face me. Along with the other class. The girls stared at me, daggers! They were furious! Well good! I hated him as it was, no way. I'm not being Cinderella. I already get called that as it is. Just because I clean around the school and walk around rich kids, they call me cinderella. That's so stupid right?

 

"No thank you sir. I don't mind being something else though"

 

The girls jaws dropped. They couldn't believe my answer.

 

Suka turned her chair around and popped in my face eyes shocked like a fish, "Yuki, are you out of your mind? Don't you know who he is?! He's the son of the richest family in the country! The Kamiya's!! They're almost like royal!"

 

I didn't try to make any expressions on my face.

 

"Yes. I know. Don't you think that's strange? His second name is "Ichirou" yet he's the son of the Kamiya's?"

 

Her eyes twitched. I swear she was gona punch me any moment.

 

"Oh stupid yuki! You should know this by now. Its his mothers old second name. They wanted him to have that name . Haven't you read that in the Kamiya blog before?"

 

I frowned, "no I haven't really. Sounds daft to me"

 

Suka gave up and the girls realised they have a chance of being Cinderella again and all screamed, "pick me! I'll be Cinderella! Please!"

 

Mr. Young scratched his head to think.

 

"Okay okay! Calm down! I have an idea. How about Haru can choose who he wants to be Cinderella. he gets two days to think about it"

 

Haru didn't respond. I could suddenly see the girls glaring at each other. Once friends who are now competition, who will do anything to be Cinderella.

 

"Yuki, please hand out these scripts to each pair"

 

"Yes sir"

 

The teacher wrote things on the board but the students were busy chatting quietly about who Haru will choose to be Juliet.

 

"I saw you working in the courtyard today Yuki"

 

The stuck up rich brat "Erika". Her father is the school's manufacturer and is always giving donations, so she is allowed to do as she pleases.

 

I handed out the books and pretended I didn't care.

 

"What's wrong Yuki? Feeling ashamed? I don't know why on earth they even let you into this school. Your a brass penny amongst the gold coins. It just doesn't work"

 

That did it! How dare she! the rotten egg! No Yuki, keep your cool. I turned around and smiled back at her although I actually wanted to punch her and throw her out of out class window. Its the third floor too. Wow that sounds amazing.

 

"Why Erika. Your beauty is sweet yet your heart is sour. You wonder why they let me into this school but I wonder why the school allows rotten girls with no manners and no simplicity"

 

She clenched her fist.

 

"How dare you! Do you know who..."

 

"I don't care who your are. Get this clear. You are what you are today only because of your family, your parents. Without them you are nothing. If your father lost his post no one will give a crap about you and to be honest right now I don't either"

 

The girls were shocked and stared at Erika while the boys gigged. Except Haru, who stared at me. I smirked at her and carried on giving out the rest of the books.

 

Who the hell does she think she is? She needs to get a life. She's not a princess, more like a rude cow. Just because we are not rich, it doesn't mean we are filth! The nerve! It made my blood boil. No one must ever know my secret. Never. I will push it far away where it will be forgotten.

 

There was a knock on the door and there stood James. He's the guy that works with me.

 

"Oh Yuki!"

 

I bounced up from my chair.

 

"Ah James. Yes?"

 

"I'm sorry to bother you but please can you take these parcels to the correct classrooms. I have to collect something out of school, headmaster's orders. Please?"

 

I looked at the teacher who thought.

 

"Erm very well, you are excused"

 

I ran quickly while everyone's beady eyes watched me out. On my way out I accidently hit Haru's arm.

 

"Oh I'm sorry!"

 

But then I realised it was him and I just looked at him with hatred as I walked out of the room. He seemed confused. He looked at his friend who shrugged.

 

"What's wrong with her?"

 

His friend had no idea and carried on writing. Haru stared at the door.

 

"Her name is Yuki Clarise. But I swear I've seen her somewhere, I can just feel it"

 

The boy sitting next to him is Koutei. he's very good friend.

 

"Where did you see her?"

 

He was quite curious to know.

 

"I can't remember, I just can't put my finger on it.

 

Haru kept thinking. He knows he's seen her somewhere.

 

"Don't worry Haru, I'm sure it's nothing anyway. Trouble is, no one knows her family. She doesn't talk about it. She always refuses to tell who her family is. We just know she lives on her own in an apartment somwhere near school and that she helps around the school doing odd jobs. They call her the "AKA cinderella"

 

Haru thought for a moment. He felt he knew her, or met her before. It troubled him, and also why she disliked him.

 

"Oh I see"

 

Koutei remembered something.

 

"Oh! But guess what? Rumours say, she left her family, some say THEY left her. No one knows the truth but we know that she does keep a dark secret. Must be why she tries so hard at school and everything else"

 

Haru turned his head to the window. What it is about her that makes you wonder, that she has a secret.

 

"Okay that's enough. I don't care about girls anyway"

 

There's so many boxes! It's going to take me forever to get these done. Well then I better get started. I pulled the heavy trolley full of boxes and parcels to each room. God it's so heavy! Took me an hour at best. It's the last one. I'm so exhausted! The class must be finished by now. Something soft fell on my hair. What's that? I pick it up and see that it is a flower petal from the cherry blossom tree. People forget beautiful things when they are moving so fast in life. They walk straight past it. They ask for something beautiful but forget it's right there. These rich kids, think the only beautiful in life is money and status. They need to realise the things they already have and the things God has given them. Beautiful things don't last long. Like this tree for example. No matter how beautiful it may seem, the cherry blossoms will not last. As these pretty leaves are falling. No one can stop it. You need to hold them while it lasts. I smiled while a gentle breeze flew across my body making the petals fall even more. It's like pink snow.

 

'Ka-chak'

 

Huh? What was that noise I just heard. I turned around confused, and he was there. That idiot Haru.

 

"Do you know how stupid you look?"

 

He showed me the picture on his phone.

 

"Delete it now!"

 

That pervert! Taking secret pictures of me!

 

He grinned, "Duh. Obviously I would. Do you think I would keep such a thing? Deleted"

 

He put his phone in his pocket and walked away without a word.

 

He's so strange. What a weird guy. I picked up the last parcel and ran to the upstairs classroom. It was the last task of the day.

 

That night I stared out of the window. The stars seemed to shine more brightley, as if to say "well done! Your doing your best" it's great if your feeling down. It gives you comfort. It makes me wonder, whether they remember me or not. Every night I stare out of this window. Maybe I really have been forgotten. Am I just a memory? Do I ever cross their minds? Who am I? I don't even know who I am. I have no place to belong. I belong nowhere. I jumped back into my bed. It's time for a good night's sleep. Another day of struggling has gone. A new day will rise.

 

"Good morning Haru!"

Screamed all the girls of Imperial Academy.

 

"I love you Haru!!"

 

Disgusting. How pitiful. Even though these girls are rich as hell they don't have any class, as they say they do. How pathetic. Screaming I love you won't make a difference to that idiot. He acts like he's so perfect, it makes me want to kick him.

He looks weird today though. Like he's got something to say to someone. He's In that stupid mood of his, someone's gonna get it today. Poor soul. Wait, why do I care?

 

I walked past the mob of stupid girls surrounding Haru at the entrance. They do this every morning. A shy girl held up the courage and walked to him slowly.

 

"Erm Haru..I.."

 

"What?" He glared.

 

It made her jump. Must have made her even more nervous. Poor girl.

 

"I..I like you! Please go out with me!"

 

All the girls waited for his reply in silence.

 

"Sorry I don't like this kind of thing. Find someone else. Anyway I have something important to do so excuse me"

 

He strutted down the path, into the school as if nothing had happened.. All the girls were dissapointed. He gets confessed all the time. He's ruthless and stone hearted. He doesn't know how to say no to a girl in a nice way, leaving them crying.

 

He angrily walked into the class room.

 

"Yuki!"

 

I sat on my desk waiting for the teacher to arrive. Why is he talking to me, and in that tone too?!

 

"Come here!"

 

After that He walked out. Something was going to happen. All the girls and boys stared at me. Who did he think I was. I'm not his servant that he can talk to me like that. As if. I'm staying here. I ignored him.

 

A moment later. He came back into the room and stood there waiting at the door.

 

"Are you coming?"

 

I scoffed at him, "obviously not"

 

"I said, come here"

 

The class was silent and watched the scene excitedly. The girls however were not happy.

 

"No"

 

Everyone gasped and whispered.

 

"She just dissobeyed Haru! she's gonna get it now!"

 

"What did you just say?"

 

His angry eyes didn't even twitch. I tried to keep my cool and acted arrogantly.

 

"Are you deaf? I said no"

 

I tried not to look him in the eye. He looked as though he was going to kill me.

 

He didn't say a word, but his eyes did. He took a step foward, then another and another. Next thing you know he stormed across the room to my desk, grabbed my arm as if to pull it off, yanked me off my seat and dragged me across the room without saying a single word.

 

"Hey let go! Get off me!"

 

Why is he pulling me like this? What did I ever do to him? Oh God! Everyone is staring at us! What are they whispering about me? And why the hell is this idiot pulling me like this??

 

All the while, while being dragged across the hallway, with all the students stopping and staring, he didn't look back. He carried on looking faward with those bear like eyes.

 

"Hey idiot! Haru!"

 

No answer.

 

"Haru! Haru you idiot let go of me!!"

 

Instead he gripped my arm even tighter. Damn it hurts.

 

Finally we reached an empty room, the principles office. He had gone for lunch so it was empty. He's silly that he didn't lock it before leaving. Our principle is kind of forgetful. He pushed me across the room violantly. l most fell over. I could have hurt myself! He stared at me like he knew something.

 

"Wha..what is the meaning of this!?"

 

My heart was racing, my arm hurt with pain and our voices echoing in the silent room.

 

"I know your secret. I know why your so different from everyone else"

 

Oh no! He knows my secret! I'm done for!

 

"What secret? What are you talking about?"

 

Perhaps he's talking about something else.

He slammed his fist on the wall.

 

"Don't give me that crap. I know everything. What kind of a women are you?!"

 

Wait, what? What's he talking about?

 

"Er I beg your pardon?!"

 

"They treated you like family. Yet you walked out on them. They gave you everything yet you disgraced their name and ran away. They let you into their lives but you left them! They are kind gentle people but you didn't appreciate it! They treated you like their own daughter!"

 

His eyes were misty.

 

"Wait, Who? Who treated me like their own?!"

 

"The Kamiya's damnit!"

 

My heart sank. My eyes filling up with tears, memories. They were all coming back. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get rid of this stupid secret! The secrets out! But he's got it all wrong.

 

"You've got it wrong. That's not..."

 

 

"Don't lie to me! You've been caught now, He told me everything!"

 

Who? What? What the hell?!

 

"Wait who told you everything?"

 

"My uncle, your father. He told me that when you were young, he felt pity for you and let you live with them. You became a part of their family, but when you reached 17 you ran away even though they gave you everything. You didn't love or appreciate them and all you wanted was everything for yourself. You ran away. You wanted to shame them"

 

My father? He said this?! How could he. No. This can't be. I refuse to believe it. No. No.

 

"NO!!"

 

Haru was startled.

 

"You've got it all wrong!!"

 

He stood there in silence watching me break down. The secret is out. All my emotions were pouring out like they've never done before. I finally tell someone and it had to be him of all people! My eyes filled with tears flowing non stop. I couldn't help my self.

 

"It pains me so much to say this but I am not "like" their daughter, but I "am" their daughter! I am the daughter of Shizumasa and Thereasa Kamiya! My name is Yuki Clarise Kamiya!"

 

I dropped down to the floor with tears flowing out as if they had a mind of their own. I am becoming weak again. After all those years over building up my strength its now being wasted.

 

Haru stood their watching, his eyes open wide. He was shocked of what he just heard.

 

"My father always wanted a son so that he may grow up to take his place as the Kamiya group company manager, but he got me. He was dissapointed when he found out it was a girl, but due to birth complications mother would not be able to conceive again. I would be the first and last child. Father paid no attention to me no matter what things I did to make him proud. I learnt to play the violin. I was very good in sports and maths and english. I was home tutored to learn everything, even buisness. He wanted to hide I even existed. He didn't want to let anyone know about his "failure" so he told the world "I" the baby "died" during birth and he told them that he found a girl and accepted her into the family. His name was saved. Mother however never once spoke. She just watched everything happen to me"

 

Haru was silent. He had nothing to say, he could only listen. I wonder what he was thinking about.

 

"As I grew up to be an older girl. The more he ignored me. I became the perfect daughter, as the servants and other said. Everyone said what a pity I wasn't really his child. Even though I really was, his own flesh and blood. The more I grew, the more my existance became poor. I didn't even understand why didn't he just kill me when he found out it was a girl. I suffered in silence. It drove me crazy. I didn't even know whether or not mother loved me. She looked after me and cared for me, but she didn't say anything about what father was doing to me. That's why I just let it all happen"

 

Haru stepped towards me.

 

"So that's why you left? You couldn't handle it all?"

 

 

After everything he doesn't understand.

 

"You really don't get it do you??"

 

He paused.

 

"No"

 

"Its because of YOU I left!!"

 

Haru stumbled back and tripped up.

 

"M..me?"

 

"Yes you! As if everything wasn't bad enough, he heard about the prodigy young boy who had no parents. It was his chance to have a son. He heard about you from the news and decided he would make you a part of the family. So he came to see you everyday and soon after that he let you come to our mansion, then staying over. All the while he never introduced me to you. Father made sure that I was hidden away and that you never found out about me. I heard him telling mother and the servants. After that It got too much. I was just a burden on the family. A doll hidden away never to be cared or loved again. I wanted to kill myself at first, but then I thought 'why should I punish myself?' I never did anything wrong. The only problem was, that. I was a girl. So I left, packed my bags and ran out one night avoiding the security gaurds, I knew all the passwords so it was easy getting out. I found a girls orphanage hostel and stayed there untill I was old enough to get my own house and get enough money to live for myself. That's why I work at the school. After that I decided from that day onwards I will never associate myself with the "kamiya family" ever again. I was now "Yuki Clarise" Kamiya is no longer my identity. My new goal now is make my own buisness and be more famous than the Kamiya's. No matter how long it takes, I will take my revenge"

 

I wiped my tears away and stood firm. I will not be weak anymore. I won't!

 

Haru ran to me and hugged me tightly. Huh? He's hugging me? Why? Why is my heart racing? What the hell? Why am I getting flustered for? Its just idiot Haru.

 

"I'm sorry Yuki. Now I understand why you hate me. You have every right to be"

 

He let go of me. I was shocked to see his eyes filled with tears. So he is human then.

 

"No its not your fault. Father and mother lied to you too, so how you ever be aware? It must have been amazing for you, to finally have a family again, to be loved once more"

 

Haru wiped his tears away.

 

"Its not fair for me to be happy. I took away your family. I can't believe uncle and aunt lied to me!"

 

"Why do you call them uncle and aunt?"

 

Haru stopped and stared at the ground.

 

"Well. Aunt wouldn't allow uncle to adopt me. I never knew why. But I guess its because it would be fair to you"

 

What's the point in that? If she never said anything before then why say that? They might as well have adopted him. He practically is their son, sort of. Well the whole world thinks he is.

 

"I have decided something"

 

What? What has he decided?

 

He looked up at me, "come"

 

He held my hand and walked across the hall. Again people stared and whispered. But this time it was different. He's holding me gently. He's not being violant like before. What changed him? I hope he does not pity me. Because if that is true, then I don't want it.

 

"Haru? What's wrong?"

 

No response. Starting to feel it really is the same.

 

"Haru? What did you decide? Can you let go of me please?"

 

He took me back into the classroom. The class was silent. The teacher stopped writing on the board and the girls stared at my hand, that haru was holding, they looked like a pack of angry wolves about to skin me alive.

 

"Mr. Young. I have decided. Cinderella will be.. Yuki"

 

The class was astonished, so was the teacher. I could hear a few girls scream in disbelief. Mr. Young just looked at me as if this is all a dream. Wait, huh? WHAT??! Me as Cinderella??? Why?!!

 

End of chapter one........

 

...........................................

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 20.02.2014

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Widmung:
I dedicate this book to all those who have a hard time fitting in. Everyone is special no matter how many mistakes or flaws we may have.