She was hideous. The first time I saw her, I turned away absolutely repulsed by the sight of her. Her red hair was brittle, stringy. There were many spots on her head that were balding, and it looked like she washed her hair with mud. Her bones were jutting through her skin, especially her elbows and her collar bone. She was so skinny that even the smallest clothes looked as if they would be too big for her. Many of her teeth were missing, and the teeth she still had left in her mouth were rotten. Her gums were turning black and they were bloody. Her cheeks were hollow and pale. The paleness was accented by the heavy, black bags under her eyes. Her clothes were ratty, and covered with many curious stains.
But she had no smell. But for some odd reason, I was drawn to her. It seemed, so were many other boys. I found myself thinking of here day and night, dreaming of her when I wasn’t awake. During classes at school, I would watch the door or the window, waiting- no, wishing she would walk past. Just so I could catch another glimpse of her. At night, I could never pay attention to my parents. I tried to watch TV but I couldn’t concentrate on it. I couldn’t do my homework. When I tried to sleep to get her off my mind, I just dreamt of her. I could only think of her. My mind would never stray away from her.
Her... Freja. Her name was Freja. She had no last name, and she had no age. She had no friends, but she had no enemies. She was the biggest outcast in school, but she was the most popular girl in school. She was very dull, but shimmery waves of light radiated from her like chemicals from a power plant. She was invisible, but it was impossible to miss her. She was new, but it felt as if she had been there for forever. She was gentle and shy, but she was an animal- vicious and outgoing. You could catch her in your hands, holding her without losing her. But she can slip through your fingers like the finest silk. She was nothing. She was everything. I remember the first day she came to our school. It was September fourth of my sophomore year at North Bay High School. She was the first new student at our school in a while so we were all very curious. We had been at school a month so everyone was still riled up. There was much laughter ringing up and down the hall, and a lot of yelling. It was very loud, and there were many lockers being opened and slammed shut. But despite all of the noise, the click of the front door opening rang out as loud as a siren. A hush fell over the school, but it was a dangerous hush. It was screaming that something was going to happen. Slowly, one by one, every person in the hall turned their bodies to fact the front of the school, even the people that couldn’t see all the way up there. It felt like a million years before we saw anything. The door wasn’t opening anymore. I was frozen in place. But then, the big double door creaked open and she took a step in.
And another. And another. She brought herself forward and stopped in the frame of the door. The storm outside kept any light from shining through to illuminate her. Suddenly, she started walking again. As soon as the fluorescent overhead lights hit her, the school took one breath together. I blinked my eyes twice and gagged. I turned my head to compose myself. I hadn’t had breakfast so my stomach was empty, but it started heaving. I knew many others did too. Acid crawled up my throat, tickling the back of my mouth and threatening to escape. She saw how repulsed we were, but she continued walking. Her shoulders were back and she was surrounded by an air of confidence. A slight smile played lightly on her lips, and her eyes… Her eyes were a bright, golden yellow. And they were… amused. She didn’t say a word, and I heard snickers coming from a few people. I bet they were mostly from the popular crowd. The more people laughed at her, the more amused she began to look. Her smile got bigger, and my stomach heaved even more at the sight of her mouth. Watching her, my body shook with disgust, but I tried to hide it. Her eyes glided over us like a snake on water, taking in every detail. With each person she saw, her eyes grew brighter. Her eyes were still sliding over us, but when they came onto me, she stopped. Dead in the center of the hallway, she stopped and I held her gaze just as forcefully as she held mine. Her eyes became curious, analyzing. I noticed that I started to get dizzy. Bright colors were flashing behind my eyes. Her gaze still locked on mine, she began towards me. She walked with a slow, determined tread. It seemed the seconds stretched to minutes, the hours, then years. I was getting even dizzier. My breathing quickened in pace, but then it slowed. I could no longer breathe; it felt as if my lungs were being compressed in my chest. I started to panic. I didn’t know what was happening.
Before I knew it, she was standing one foot away from me, and my body had already begun having convulsions. I had become numb, and I put my hand on my locker to steady myself. I knew if I didn’t I would pass out. I was only aware of her. And just like that… It stopped. Something was different, off. I still saw how ugly she was, but it didn’t affect me. My stomach stayed in the same position as if I saw this kind of ugly everyday. I knew she was ugly and I should turn away disgusted, but I wasn’t affected. I was no longer repulsed. She brought her hand up and help it out to me. It was frail and ugly, the bones jutting out. I knew what she wanted. I lifted my hand up… Everyone held their breath, waiting to see what I’d do. I knew that if I shook it, I would be humiliated and ridiculed. I would become as low as she already was. Instead I covered my mouth and laughed. It was a deep, belly burning laugh that became more real with each second. Everyone began cheering, but her smile didn’t falter. If anything, it became more amused. She found this comical. Her eyes were still bright. She chuckled and leaned forward closer to me. I expected a dank smell, but it never came. There wasn’t a smell at all. I was shocked and she chuckled again when she realized that fact. Her hand moved up towards my face, and I cringed away. She wiped the hair from my ear and cupped it. She leaned forward and I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at her up close. She laughed and whispered in a seducing voice, “We both know the truth, Aiden.” She slid her hand down around my neck and across my chest. Before taking her hand away, she pushed me backwards playfully. As she turned away from me, she smiled and winked. “I’ll see you later.” Her back was to me now and she finished her parade down the hall, still analyzing all the students.
When she was out of sight, my best friend Samuel clapped me on the back. “Dang man, you’re just getting all the ladies this year aren’t you? You go get ‘em Tiger!” He laughed like this was the funniest thing in the world. “Shut up, Sam.” “And I thought only the ugly girls were crushing on you! Are you finally going to get some, man? Are you going to get in her pants tonight? She looks like she’s an easy one.”
“Samuel, shut up,” I said again, in an even, threatening voice. He obeyed, remembering past times when he didn’t and I let my anger get the better of me.
“Hey, you want to go to that new club tonight? What’s the name of it? The Link? I don’t remember. It’s the one they just got done building down by the mall.” “Sure,” I reply. I was hoping maybe it could take my mind off what had just happened. He put his hand up, expecting me to high five it. I did. He nudged me. “Look,” he exclaimed quietly. “It’s Amber.”
I didn’t have to look to know who he was talking about. I knew who he was talking about. He only said the same thing every morning since eighth grade. He was talking about Amber Fully, the most beautiful girl in school. She was one of the girls who left the summer after seventh grade and came back in eighth grade with a complete summer make over. Before school let out, she was an unpopular girl. With a little extra fat on her stomach, nothing in the top of her shirt, and pimples all over her face, she looked like a little girl. She wore glasses and was a socially awkward girly-girl with a squeaky voice that tried too hard to be cool. But when she came back in eighth grade, she was stunning. Her hair was bleach blonde, and in a different style every day. Her acne was completely cleared, and she didn’t have to wear makeup or eye shadow to make her emerald green eyes pop. Her stomach was flat, her waist and thighs tiny, and the top of her shirt was full. Her skin was a natural golden brown. She still made straight A’s, but when she came back, you could see clearly defined calf and thigh muscles. She played every sport, but she left her two best friends, Samuel and I, for the popular crowd. Throughout eighth and ninth grade, she ignored us, even though we had been best friends since we were babies. But, the second day of tenth grade, she began talking to Samuel again. Granted, it was only because the summer after ninth grade he started weight training and had a “late summer make-over.” But he didn’t care. He was slowly getting his old best friend back, as a girlfriend, so I was happy for him. Even though he knew, and I knew, that he could get any girl in the school he wanted because he was now the hottest boy in the school. Even though he knew that all the girls were crushing on him, and most of them were better girlfriend material than Amber, he didn’t care. He didn’t want to be popular. He just wanted Amber. “Hey, Sam,” she said to him, waving with a smile. He smiled a smile so big, he looked like a little boy getting a puppy dog at Christmas time. “Hey.” He kept his tone cool and nonchalant. She kept walking, so I turned to him.
“I’m going to class now.” I said it once Amber was gone and he could think straight.
“Why?” he asked, obviously baffled. “We still have, like, fifteen minutes before classes even start!” “Because…” I stalled, trying to think of a legit answer. “I have to do my homework. I didn’t do it last night for Algebra Two.” Before he could say anything else, I shut my locker and turned to head up the hallway. When I had said I needed to do my homework, I was only telling a half-truth. I did have to do it, but that’s not the real reason I left. I wanted to get to class early for another reason. I hadn’t known her name, but she knew mine. She knew me, but I had never seen her in my life. I would’ve remembered a face that ugly. She flirted with me like she had known me for years, and knew how to make me have butterflies. I needed to figure out who she was. She could be dangerous. Maybe she was in the same class as me? Who knew? But I couldn’t get her off of my mind. Why did she think she can get any guy she wanted? She was despicable. Her face was evilly ugly. She couldn’t get any guy… Could she? She was disgusting… Of course not. I walked up the big stairwell to the next floor. I was in room 207, Algebra Two with Mrs. Williams. The hallway was silent. That meant nobody was there. I was alone, which was a good sign. My mind turned to the moment she had touched me. Every time her hand connected with my body, electricity shot through my body. I had felt… alive. I had… liked it. I knew at that moment that she knew me. I kept asking myself questions. Like, how did she know me? What was her name? Did I already know her? I couldn’t answer any of them, and that bothered me. I tried to think about something else- anything else. But my mind wouldn’t- couldn’t- stop thinking of her. Who she was, how she knew me. How ugly, yet attractive she was. And suddenly, I started getting dizzy. Bright, flashing, neon colors started flashing behind my eyes. Hadn’t I already gone through this? What was happening? I couldn’t remember anything. I strained my mind, trying to get an idea of what was going on. I could have sworn this already happened. My arms started shaking. I reached out, trying to find something to lean on, but felt just air under my finger tips. My breath sped up in pace, along with my heart beat. Air was closing in on all sides of me. My whole body began writhing like a fish without water.
My breathing slowed down then. It felt as if my lungs were being zip compressed. My vision was blurry and blackness was closing in on it. Any feelings in my body were going numb. I didn’t know if I was moving or being completely still. I didn’t know which way was up or which way was down. I didn’t know which way was left, or which way was right. Time was stretching out, and my vision was completely black now. I couldn’t even see the flashing colors. I could, however, see a pair of golden yellow eyes. Where had I see them? My head was spinning faster, and it felt like I was in a vortex. All of the air was being sucked out of me. My heart was beating so fast I couldn’t keep up with it. I began hearing a sound like rushing water, a vicious waterfall after a storm. But that noise gave way to laughter. Someone, something, was laughing. It was a loud, evil cackle. The noise was so harsh, so high pitched, my ears started bleeding.
My stomach felt like I was being stabbed over and over again. The laughing stopped. The rushing stopped. I heard nothing at all.
My breathing stopped all together. My lungs went limp, but my heart kept beating. It felt like my chest was being split open. Heat was rushing into my heart from the part where my chest split open. It was a warm, bubbly sensation. Like power was rushing into me. My heart sped up to top speeds. The cackling started again, but it wasn’t so evil.
Then, the energy stopped. The cackling stopped. My chest closed up, but as soon as it was sealed, I heard a noise. Not just a noise, but every noise in the universe. Every noise you could think of happened at full volume. My head exploded, I could feel pieces of it blow off in all directions.
I opened my eyes, and I was in outer space. Rather, an outer space. There were stars, but they were made of human hearts, all beating in sync. The noise was a thousand drums being hit at once, a deafening sound. There was white light inside the stars, but the rest of the place was pitch black. I didn’t know if I was standing or sitting or floating. I closed my eyes, and saw flashing colors. My head came back together. My body was now numb. There was an open space where my lungs should have been, but I still tried to gasp for breath. My body began concussing again. Everything went black. I saw nothing, I heard nothing.
My body was numb, but still convulsing. And I realized I had hit the floor when numbness gave way to pain.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 04.07.2011

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