Dear diary,


Today I went to the Cullens house to see Renesmee. She is such a fun person to have around because shes always doing something that will blow your mind if you know her as well as i do! I have feeling for her and i dont know how to express them to her when i have no clue if she has the same feeling for me as i do her. Alice and Jasper always have me sit and watch them have a dress up show with her and i can tell by the way she looks that shes not happy when they make her do this, but for one thing i can help her chose the best clothes like theres this one blouse that was a bright purple that looked wonderful on her. Just looking at her is a lot to take in because she reminds me so much of Bella and I still cant belive that she went for Edward over me! I still have feeling for her but im glad that she had a little girl because shes growing up so fast that its just wonderful that i can actually date her when she becomes my age. in the begining when i frist saw Roslie feed her all i could think about was that she killed the women that i love and i just really wanted to rip the baby to peices but then after i looked at her i saw that she looked just like Bella and i couldnt do that to something that resembled to the women that i loved.
Yours lovely.
Jake


Dear Diary,

Today i had to talk to Sam about him saying that i spend to much time hanging out with the cullens when i should be doing my job, but i had to protect Renesmee but i also needed to protect my tribe and that was what i had to do and Renesmee was what was holding me back from doing what i was suposed to be.After we talked i had to go and tell Edward and Bella that i had to take a break from looking after her for awhile and that it wouldnt be that long before i was back its just that i had to do what i have to do to protect my tribe and thats staying down on the reservation. I have one more thing to say and that is im in love with your daughter and i dont want you to hurt me but i wanted you to find out before someone else told you and if you wanna come after me then bring it and i really dont wanna hurt you but if you break the treaty then i have to do what i have to do and i will be really sorry if something happens to you because your like my second family but im not a filthy bloodsucker like you. I was shocked that Edward didnt come after me and that Bella didnt try to rip my throut out, instead they both started laughing and saying that we new how you felt about her and that we were waiting for you to come out and say it to us before Renesmee and we dont care if you date her but i promise you that if you break my daughters heart ima have to break yours.

Yours lovely,
Jake


Dear Diary,

Today is the day that i can go back and start to look after her although shes 15 and she really doesnt need it but it gives me the excuse to be around her. I have to tell her and see what she feels about me and if were compatible, and im really worried about what shes gonna say about it and its really freaking me out and with her gift i dont want her to replay what i ask her in my mind and make it look like im a fool and i know i wanna hear what her answers gonna be but im still worried that Edward, Jasper or Emmett will do to me! Omg here she comes and i can feel my heart rate speed up and i dont know how to stop staring at her with that really cute blue dress that shes wearing and that didnt help at all because when she finally was in front of me she smiled at me with those bright white teeth. After walking on the beach for awhile i finally came out and said " I love you and I was wondering if you like me to and if you do then just will you go on a date with me all you have to say is yes. She looked at me and smiled and said Yes and i love you and ive been waiting a long time for you to say that and i wanted to tell you but i could never say that with my mom and dad and aunts and uncules and grandparents around us all the time. When mom came up to me last nite and asked me if i loved you and i said yes and i got done asking her what that was all about i used my gift and after i saw that you told my dad and mom that i was blown away and i was so happy when you asked me to come with you and im talking fast agian arent i? I didnt even relized what i was doing until it was to late and i was already kissing her that i thought that this was wrong and that i shouldnt have done that yet but i couldnt stop myself.

Yours Lovely,

Jake


Dear Diary,

Well tonite i told Renesmee that i loved her and it turns out that she loves me to and when she said that i felt like the whole world had stopped and it was never gonna start again. Scince then me and her have been togather every minute of the day and i was shocked when her parents didnt say anything about it until tonite. They started asking questions like did you to do something that we warned you about and i knew what they were talking about and that made me want to throw up because im not that guy. For them to ask that i had to step in and tell them that i would never do that to a girl that i love, now if it were someone who i didnt love as i do your daugther then ya i would but shes diffrent and i wanted to ask you something and i figured to say it in front of you and i wanted to see what she would say, Renesmee i love you with all my heart and i dont ever want to let you go, will you marry me? Watching her families jaws drop was the best thing in the world to see and what really shocked me was that she said yes and all i could do was spin her round and round until her dad stopped us and asked what i was doing instead i should have just asked him instead of what i did so he could give us his blessing and after he was done he gave us his and then her mom started to cry but she couldnt because she was vampire. Alice was all excited to plan the wedding and do everything like she did with Bellas and that made me happy until Edward asked me if this just wasnt so i can get her in my bed and that also made me want to be sick and i was really starting to get annoyed with these bloodsuckers thinking that im like that. I had to go and tell the tribe that i was getting married to Renesmee and i can see if now that there not gonna be happy about that and they might even try and stop me and it wont happen.

YOUrs Lovely,
Jake

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 18.08.2011

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