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Hopeless boy - King Lil G

 

 

The phone drops from my hand carelessly and I slump down on the dirty, broken concrete. Cars zoom by with curious and sympathy stares none letting there eyes stray on me to long. Others avoid me completely and I let my head slump forward between my knees.

 

"Miss?" Someone says. I look up slowly a old lady with a cane standing in front of me. She smiles holding out her hand she produces my cracked phone. I take it slowly and give her a nod completely dismissing her.

 

"Are you okay?" She asks not leaving me alone. I ignore her and space out taking my surroundings in, there is a bakery right across the street alongside a run down laundry mat. I look down at my scruffy clothes, the last time they were washed was a week ago. Looking once again at the laundry mat I knew I needed to change clothes or wash them. Loose change is set down next to me a wrinkly hand shaking as she sets them down. I can pick out a few quarters and dimes, scooping them up I stand up. Dumping them carefully into the kind lady's hand I shake my head, walking away.

 

"Wait!" She calls after me I keep walking without hesitation. I didn't like others pitying me passing the corner I spot the familiar, dirty blonde headed girl. Her clothes look way better then mine and she is healthier. She is sitting on a guy's lap who looks to be a few years older then I. Two others guys are sitting next to them all crowded around the small table. She sold her body. Katherine was my bestfriend for all those cold, lonely years in foster care wishing to be adopted. The foster care blew up in flames only about eight months ago. A majority amount of lives were lost that day, innocent children who didn't make it. Katherine began hanging out with the wrong people and slowly began changing in front of my eyes. That night she passed out with a lit cigarette and managed to leave unscathed. I was the one to blame and was put in handcuffs in that terrible night. I spent five months in the juvenile hall, almost once a week she came in to visit me to beg me for forgiveness but not once did she admit to being the one who blew up the foster home. When I was finally released after the lawyer I was assigned realized there was not enough evidence to prove it was me, I was to be sent to another foster home and on house arrest. I chose a different route-I ran away. My own bestfriend threw the blame on me.

 

I learned the hard way who my bestfriend really was-a coward.

 

That was the last visit she made when I called her a coward. Seeing her now brought the familiar disgust I felt and I couldn't bring myself to pity her. A year ago, before the accident I would look at her with hope of the old Katherine returning, not anymore. Those five months of Juvy had changed me more then anything and made me stronger. With my head up I keep walking without looking at her even though I feel her bitter gaze penetrating through me.

 

What happened to finishing our high school year?

 

What happened to going to college together?

 

What happened to getting a better life?

 

It was all in the past and now it was time to face the future, alone.

 

↷

 

My nose wrinkles in disgust when I catch smell of the overflowing trash that lingered around a trash can. Carefully walking over it I grab a discarded plastic bag and drape it over the top of the splintered filled fence. Placing my hands over the plastic bag I kick my feet at the fence and manage to hoist myself. Summoning all my strength I swing my legs over and jump down. I had been hiding out ever since I ran away I knew the police were looking for me still as I was suppose to be on house arrest. I grew close to a girl in the juvenile hall named, Isa. The girl had connections to almost everything her brothers being apart of a powerful gang. She never said why she was in there but I knew she held the weight on her shoulders everyday. She had a year left before she could be released she gave me a very important job. I was to deliver her letters to her cousins, and also her boyfriend. The juvenile hall read anything that was mailed out and she couldn't afford to expose the gang even more. She would call me when I was to start this favor for her, in return she set me up with a place to live and eat. It wasn't the best place in the world but it was better then nothing. The house was rundown and filled with coked out gangsters. I never personally delivered the letters they were passed down to another trusted member. It was harder for me to visit Isa as I only got out three months ago, but that didn't keep me away I kept my word. There was currently one very important letter in my book bag right now that I had to deliver personally.

 

To her mother.

 

I didn't know what her mother would say when I turned up on her doorstep randomly one day with something from her daughter. My mother wasn't the best women but she wasn't the worst she worked hard everyday for me to survive. I don't remember much of her being only seven when she died from a heart attack. They say it was from her bad health but I knew that wasn't the real reason. The last picture I had of her wasn't saved in the fire, and for that I detested Katherine.

 

The familiar barking arises as I walk wary of the broken glass that hid in the mud and grass. Pavo, named after turkey in Spanish was a fat pitbull that was chained firmly in place away from the broken glass. He was a vicsious, little bastard who tried to chase me out the yard the first day I came here. His chain only gave out to four feet to which everyday he tried to break free from his chain and attack someone. He was a warning not to enter this yard if you didn't mean business. There was even a sloppily written sign taped in the front that said:

 

Turkey's fatass will attack you.

 

None of them knew how it got there, just that it was there and many thought it was a joke until Pavo came out from his house and tried to attack you. The dog didn't like no one, but that didn't stop me from tossing him a random piece of food everyday. Spotting me he tosses his angry glare at me but stops barking reaching into my bag I grab the bread I didn't eat this morning and toss it in his direction. Heading to the door I pull it open without turning I know he is watching me and sometime later when he knows I'm gone Pavo will eat.

 

"Girly you here?" I recognize the voice as Jay's. Jay is slumped across the couch his dreads dangling over.

 

"Yeah." I call out softly.He looks over at me as I sit on the couch opposite of him and take my hoody and book bag off.

 

"Where is Yessi and Theo?" He asks.

 

I shrug, "I just got here."

 

"Oh yeah where you been at the whole day? Did Rese come by?"

 

"Here and there," I say avoiding his gaze. "Rese said she couldn't come but she would try tomorrow when you got out of work."

 

"You better not be lying for her Jade," there's a cold tinge to his voice.

 

The couch squeaks as he gets up coming to stand in front of me. I look up and recognize the glazed look in his eyes and I know that he is on something.

 

"I'm not." I hold his gaze to show him that I am telling the truth.

 

"Good." He finally says after studying me for a while then leans down and gives me a hug and then goes upstairs. "If you hear Pavo barking look out the window." He calls behind him.

 

"I know." Taking a quick shower I search through my bag and pull out a old shirt Yessi let me keep and change into that also swapping out my baggy jeans for a better pair. Heading downstairs I rummage through the refrigerator grabbing the gallon of milk and the cheap cereal from the cabinet. Beginning to eat my dinner of cereal I take a glance out the window and spot Pavo up and alert shaking it off, I keep eating slightly humming to myself.Pavo begins barking, a bad feeling rising in my stomach.

 

"Jay!" I scream grabbing my back pack and frantically begin racing up the stairs. Loosing my footing I slip and bang my shin sharply against a wooden step. Ignoring the pain, I reach Jay's room just as several gunshots are heard downstairs, along with the front door busting open.

 

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 14.06.2015

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