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"Stop dreaming, you know that can't happen," said mother once again. Every day it was the same thing.
It simply got to the point were all I could do is put my headphones on and turn up the volume.
"Okay mom, thanks! Goodnight now!” I said as I walked away to "my room".
I don’t think it’s considered a room when I’m sharing it with all the paintings my brother has painted over the last couple of years.
David always loved drawing; it was all he did when he was able to go to school. He’d draw the wildest things and soon my room became storage.
“Can’t you hear it calling? Like the moon at night...”
My brother is only 7 and he already knows the lyrics to most of the complicated songs.
"Hey Beba! Turn that off, we have homework to do!"
"Coming, oh hey James came by earlier," said David.
Now that got my attention.
"Oh, yeah? What he say?"
David gave me the 'I’m not going to tell you' face and started singing, "Pamela and James sitting on a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g...”
His singing was cut short when a loud crash was heard in the living room.
We both ran to see what was wrong, expecting the worse.
Many thoughts went through my head as I ran downstairs, could they have found us? Is my mom okay? Did Tray dome back?
Tray was a drunkie that use to come and try to get us caught.
"James!" exclaimed David.
"Hey there buddy! Look I got you a new box of acrylic paint, check the box by the couch!" said James.
"Oh thanks!" David said as he ran to hug James.
James turned to look at me with a worried look, "Pamela, my love, are you okay?"
"Totally okay, I mean I did not think it could be you breaking into my house!"

He walked towards me with a warm smile, put his arms around me and hugged me very tightly.
The kind of hugs that made my heart skip a beat, the kind that left me speechless.
"Ich liebe dich", he said tenderly.
"I love you as well James".
Although I knew deep down that love was not an option.

Two and a half years ago there was a law, not just any law about traffic or education, but a law that changed my life.
I’m Pamela Mencia, or at least I was. Now I’ve become a nobody. My family and I have been forced to leave everything behind, even out memories. We came to the U.S to fulfill the “American Dream”, and we ended up having to abandon all my mom worked so very hard for something priceless down the hill.
Sigh, April 2010 a law was signed. It stated that any immigrant living in the United States would be found and punished as if it were a criminal then kicked out of the country. That scared many of us, but it got worse. Soon schools were asking for proof of citizenship. My mother lost her job and David and I were forced to quit school. He was only five yet he already knew that there would be no more school for him.
A year earlier, James and I started dating. Little did we know things would change.

A month after the law was passed my family and I had to go into hideout. The government started sending officials to search houses with no search warrants, they just came in and destroyed anything even killed anyone in their way. By the time they got to our home, James had already provided us an underground bomb shelter that he owned. That became our home.
For almost 3 years now James has kept us here, he provided food and he even arranged it so that David and I get homeschooling. He signed us up as his sick siblings, Jon Smith and Angela Smith.
“What are you thinking about Darling?” James asked as he interrupted my thoughts.
“Well about your proposal,” I replied,”I’d loved to marry you. Yet your life is much more important than mine. If they kill me, well it’s okay. But if they kill you, so much would be lost.”
James grunted at this.
“Why are you reacting like that James? You know damn right, that if you get caught helping us they’ll kill you! I truly appreciate everything you do, but I worry every single day about you”
James opened his mouth to say something but rapidly changed his mind.
I obviously noticed and raised an eyebrow, gave him the spit-it-out look and said,
“What?”
His face brightened up, “Pamela I know!”
With a confused look now I said “You know what?”
His face became so hopeful, and came up with a dangerous yet great idea.
4
I hadn’t noticed how pale I’ve become, haven’t seen the sun or even clouds since 2010. My skin is so vampiric looking. I kind of like it though. More like me.
I use to be the “IT” girl, smart beautiful, and very popular. Fake tan, fake laugh, and a fake life. I lived a life that didn’t belong to me, I hid myself to prevent from being humiliated, or maybe I was just scared to recognize that hanging out with “my group” and do hookah was bad, and completely against my morals. Eh. At least I’m back to who Pamela should really be.
“Pamela! Hurry up! I need to pee!” yelled David from outside the bathroom door.
I get my stuff together and walk out.
“Dang, you took long! Are you sick?” David asked with a worried look.
“Oh no, Bubba I’m fine.”

As we’re eating dinner, (Yay, In-n-Out!), James kicks me, I think it’s time to tell my mom.
"Mrs. Mencia," James said politely." I want to propose an idea for you. I think three years have been enough; David needs to grow up in an environment with kids and games. Pamela and I are in love as you know. You also know I won't take her as mine till we're married. But with the situation, there's no way that could happen."
James paused, looked at me and I nodded.
"I was doing some research," he continued,” My best friend, has helped other immigrants get across to Canada.It's safe and the only catch would be that you'll be separated from Pamela for a couple days."
"Who is this friend of yours James?" asked my mother.
"He grew up with me, I can assure you that I trust him 110%" he responded.
"What is in Canada?" David asked
James rapidly got to answering David's question since he realized that he wasn't clear enough.
"Well in Canada they're taking in any immigrants that make it out a..." James paused, "Well that are able to get away, and they're giving them their citizenship so that they can travel. You Bud, can go back to school and Mrs. Mencia back to counseling. We can all start our new lives"
"That all sounds amazing, but what kind of obstacles will we have to go through?” my mom asked.
"David and you Ma'am will go with my best friend, Mark Jones, in his jet."
"What's a jet?" David interrupted.
"A little airplane," I responded.
James continued.
"And Pamela will have to go through the jungle."
To this my mom raised an eyebrow.
"Why can't she come with us?"
"I, myself, would have felt better if she went with you to, but there was only room for 2 more people. So I decided I will hire someone that will accompany
Pamela and myself to Canada. I will drive her to where she'll catch her jet and the jet will land at the border between Canada and the U.S. I'll will already be there waiting for her in a truck that I will drive most of the way." explained James.
"That sounds a little dangerous", said my mom, "but it’s better than not trying at all."
"So do you agree mom?" I spoke for the first time during this conversation.
My mother nodded and got up from the table, and then realized David had fallen asleep on the table. James helped my mom carry him into his room and I went to grab y iPad. I love how I can search anything I want, and how James programmed it so that if I were to travel, I'd get internet anywhere. This is kind of ironic since I haven’t left the shelter in over two years! I literally lol'ed to this.

"Pamela, are you ready?" James shouted from the living room.
He was setting everything up for our departure. My mom left two days ago, we had a webcam conversation last night, and she was so alive and content. I felt much better knowing that they got there safely.
"Pamela?"
"Coming James" I finally responded.
We're packing everything up, he didn’t want to since we could just go shopping over there but my mom wouldn't have felt complete if we didn't.
"Pamela we literally have 5 minutes, could you please hurry?!"
"GOING!" I shouted.
I guess this is it. I grabbed my bag with my iPad, my new cell phone James wants me to carry, and a locator.
I came up behind him.
"Done, let’s go"
He jumped startled.
"Pamela?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you", he said.
It seemed as if he were hiding something from me. Or maybe I'm under a lot of stress, who knows.

The car ride was seems so much better than this, because then I would at least have his company. Now I'm all alone trying to stop coming up with so many conclusions. Does he not love me anymore? No, that can't be it. He tells me all the time, or is it me? Do I love him...?
"Miss?"
I turned to look at the beautiful flight attendant; she must really like her job. I mean she's tall, nice body, long caramel hair, hazel eyes, light skinned. She's simply gorgeous, she could be anywhere either modeling or acting. Somewhere that will get her beauty noticed, instead of here serving annoying people.
"Would you like something to eat?"
I thought about this, do I? I'm not hungry yet, too nervous to eat. But I knew I'd regret it later if I didn't.
"That be nice please," I said to her.
"Well today we are offering Lasagna, Sushi, and Subway" she said.
"Mmm, I'll get a tuna sub please"
"What would you like on it Miss?"
"Um. No pickles, onions, mustard, anything spicy, and no dressing". I responded.
"It'll take a couple of minutes," she said with her warm smile.
She's beautiful enough to be James girlfriend, she wouldn't be a burden. He wouldn't have to hide her or his love for her to save his own life.
"Here you go Miss,” She handed over my sub and cranberry juice. My favorite!
"Thank you!" I said gratefully.
"Anything else?"
"No that'll be all, thank you" I said with a smile.
I lifted the shade from my window to let the rays from the sun come in. Ever since I left the shelter for the first time in so long, it seemed like my lungs weren't big enough to breathe in the freshness of nature. Like if my skin couldn't get enough sunlight, I just stood there frozen, admiring nature as if it were the first time.
Beep, Beep.
What is that?
Beep, Beep.
I looked around to see where the noise is coming from.
Beep, Beep.
Right! My new cell phone! I had forgotten all about it.
New Text Message
I clicked the View Now button.
It's from James.

Pamela as soon as you're out of the plane you'll see a red Titan. Walk towards it quickly. I'll be there.
-JS

JS? Huh? Oh right, James Smith.
Even through text he seemed tensed. When we were driving in his car, he avoided my eyes, he'd answered yes or no. Never had a full conversation. He drove fast as if running away from something or someone. Always kept looking back.
"Please prepare for landing", said the voice from the speakers.
Beep, Beep.
I'm guessing is another text from James.

My love, put your seatbelt on, prepare yourself for a rough landing. I'll be there for you, I promise.
-JS

I looked around and re-read the text, I stood up and frantically began running to the pilot's cabin. There he was. The pilot of the plane.
"JAMES!"
He quickly turned and his expression was changed from a focused look to complete shock!
"Love, what are you doing here?"
"Shouldn't I be the one asking that question?" I said kind of pissed off.
"No time for questions, we have to land soon! One of the wings has gone crazy. Get back to your seat and put on your seatbelt!"
"NO!" I said.
"NOW!" he yelled.
I couldn't move, I was frozen, in complete shock.
"Sir, both wings are going bazooka on us, we're losing altitude, and fast. There are no open fields, and we have to land now!" said the co-pilot.
"What are you insane?! We can't land it’s a pine forest for God's sake!" James shouted.
"Comrade we have no other option the motor just shut down!"
The plane began to fall, so fast; I had no time to go back to my seat. I fell to my knees, it was a nasty hit. God, I'm going to have my first bruise in years!
The plane kept dropping, it became so rough, I felt James come hug me, he whispered in my ear something as if it were the last time.
"Love, this might be the end, I'm not sure how much we have left but I love you!"
He hugged me, a brotherly hug. So tight and sweet. James wasn't my love, he was my best friend.
Took this to realize it.
BAM!

Ah, what a headache!
Why is it so dark? Ha. Right, maybe if I open my eyes. Whaat? My eyes are stuck, I move my hands towards them to try and feel why they were shut together. Eye boogers? No, it’s thicker and gooier.
"Don't touch it; I'll clean it for you."
That voice, who is he?
"Let me clean your hand".
His hands felt so warm as he grabbed mine, my hands were tiny compared to his.
"Your hands are soft."
His voice kept sending warm chills through my body, as if we were connected and my body reacted to his voice.
"There you can open your eyes now".
I shook my head.
"No? Why? Are you hurt?"
I gave him a smile and I sort of giggled, I tried to say thanks but nothing came out of my mouth.
He laughed at this.
"You're a silly cookie"
His laugh, wow, something about him. I opened my eyes and quickly shut them again. The sun was up so bright it hurt. I opened my eyes again, there he was.
Dark hair, tan skin, his eyes big and with they looked light brown. So beautiful, as if he were the guy I’ve always dreamt about. I was mesmerized by his smile as he helped me up. I hadn't felt the cold of the Taiga till he pulled me up next to his warm body.

9

She was beautiful; I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Her brown eyes, long dark hair, her rosy cheeks, and when she smiled, it was so bright and vivid. Two days ago I wash out washing my jeep, when i suddenly heard the crash. I went and grabbed my keys. I simply followed the smoke. I saw what looked like a jet, starting to get in flames. I hurried rapidly to try and find someone. I found a guy that looked like he was the pilot, blue eyes, blonde. He was screaming to get my attention. I ran to him and he pointed to a girl next to him,
"Save... her..."
I went over to her and felt for her pulse. She's unconscious but breathing which is good. I could hear the engine getting ready to blow up. I grabbed her bag and pulled her up into my arms, surprisingly she's lighter than I thought. Quickly, I began to look for an exit; I kicked the emergency door and ran towards y jeep.
KA-BOOM!
I heard behind me.
I put her in the passenger’s seat, and watched how the flames consumed the plane. Feeling helpless, there was nothing I could do. I drove her back her back to my cabin, placed her gently in the couch. She lay there, and all I could do was watch. Then I saw the blood on her cheek, and her swollen eyes. I knew the best ways to help her. I cleaned her wounds, poor thing; she's going to have a scar on her thigh. Sigh, I brought aloe gel and placed it on her eyes. I cleaned the rest of her face with a wet sponge; her skin was so pale, like if she hadn't been in the sun. Yet she was so beautiful. I asked my sister to change her out of her ripped clothes into some sweats and a t-shirt. While I cleaned my room so she could sleep there. But when I came back she was so silent and at peace I decided not to move her. The next morning I took her to the garden and laid her down on the porch swing, I didn’t want her to wake up and find herself alone. Mostly because the aloe would get in her eyes and it could burn her. I quickly glanced at her and saw her hand move, and then I walked over to her.
"Want something to eat?" I asked as we sat by the counter.
She shook her head, and then pointed to the notepad and pen. I quickly handed it to her.
Thank you so much for caring about me enough to do all this, um may I use your restroom?
"You're welcome," I replied, "and my sister bought you some clothes and girl stuff. It’s in my room, here I’ll show you."
I took her hand, and there was that warm feeling again. Whoa. I've never felt this before.

He showed how to use the shower but I don't remember how to close it, there. I put on some jeans and a turquoise v-neck. I went over and sat on his bed. I begin to think about James, how he was more of a best friend to me. I thought about all the things he did for my family and me. Then I remembered my Mom & David! Where are they? I felt so vulnerable; I let myself cry for the first time in a couple years. Yeah, there were times that I'd tear up and get all emotional. But it’s been 10 years since I actually cried my heart out. I was so lost in my pain and my tears that I didn't feel when his arms were around me to comfort me. I turned around and hugged him with every inch of force in my body. He hugged me back with almost the same force, as if being careful. Like if he were carrying an expensive vase and he didn’t want to brake it. When I pulled back, and I caressed his cheek, I realized he was also crying.

"I'm not sure how, I don't even recall when. I simply began to cry with her, as if her pain became my own. I felt like I was experiencing the same thing. It was as if we became one" I said to Victoria, my sister.
"Sometimes the pain is simply contagious," Victoria responded, "I mean sometimes I can feel other people's pain. It's normal."
"Well it’s not that I felt it, it was as if I was living it in my own flesh and blood." I began to get so frustrated because it seemed like she didn’t understand.
I was a little angry at her, she's one of the persons that know me best yet she seemed as if she rarely knew what I was talking about!
"Hey there!" Victoria spoke but I knew it wasn't for me.
I quickly turned and all the frustration and anger vanished as soon as my eyes fell on her. She had literally captured my heart! She looked stunning, she wore very little make up and that turquoise looked great on her skin.
"Hi" she managed to say with a rusty voice.
I simply smiled, she was so adorable. Victoria walked up to her, which surprised me because she rarely gets along with anyone.
"My name is Victoria, I'm so glad you're much better! We were truly worried about you." it was such a sincere comment.
"Thank you," she said, "I truly appreciate how much you've helped me! My name is Pamela Mencia"
I walked over to her with a cup of water.
"Shh, don't strain your voice. I'm Maroun"
"Like the color" my sister interrupted!
She giggled and drank some water. Her giggles or laughs made me smile.

"This is delicious Victoria!" I exclaimed.
The cake was just amazing.
"I didn’t bake it," she said.
"Oh you bought it?"
Maroun and Victoria laughed so much at this. Victoria was finally able to speak,
"No, ha-ha, Maroun baked it"
I turned to look at him and smiled!
"Well Maroun, you have a talent!" I said.
He blushed, which I found completely cute! We spent the rest of the afternoon talking, I told them about the laws that were being passed in U.S, and how we're worried since we couldn't go back to Mexico since it was also part of a communist society. I told them how James helped us through. How he risked his life for us, what I didn’t say was that he was my "Lover" which he wasn't! He was my best friend. They listened to me carefully, never interrupted once unless it was something I didn't clarify.
"Well tell me about your guy's life" I said.
"What would you like to know?" Maroun asked.
"Just tell anything, your parents or why do you live here in the forest etc."
"Well, Victoria is my twin sister. We graduated college last year. Which makes us 24? Old, I know! We're in the heart of the Taiga. We moved here because we both loved nature and I'm into stars, which can't really be seen in the city! Out parents live in a town that’s 15-20 minutes away from here. The city is an hour away. I own a mechanic shop and Victoria her own Beauty Salon. We're Arab but born and raised in Canada. We do speak our native language as well as French, and English. Victoria's engaged. Whereas for me, I think I found my star!" Maroun said.
"You're engaged?" I said as I looked at Victoria.
"She has been for 5 years now!" Maroun said.
We both began to laugh so hard and even Victoria joined us!
"Why is that Victoria?" I said with more serious voice.
"I'll get married once I know Maroun will be taken care of, I just never been without him. I'd feel much better if someone came in his life and he'd fall in love so I could be at peace, Jerry, my fiancé, wants to marry and go live in Australia, but that's really far! So I want to leave knowing he's in good hands!"
"I totally understand, well Maroun you better hurry! Or she'll be walking down the aisle with a cane!" I said.
She busted out laughing, while he looked at me and gave me his mesmerizing smile.

Knock, Knock, Knock.
"Come in," I said tired.
Its 4 A.M, not the time I'm use to. It's been almost a month since I've lived here, June was over and July is in. I contacted my mom, turns out her and David already had their citizenship and they were bummed out about James but happy that I was okay. They are living in Quebec but decided to travel on a four week cruise. My mom asked me to join them but I chose to stay, I felt close to my second family.
"Morning Pam, I forgot to grab my undershirt for work last night. May I?"
"Of course Maroun, it is your room. Walk in and out whenever you please. I even told you that I'll move ooouuut" I yawned, "sorry, out."
"No Pam is fine," he said with a smile.
I looked at what had become our closet and giggled.
"What?" he turned?
"Ha-ha. It’s our 'closet' it’s bright and yellow all over on one side and completely dark and brown on the other"
He stepped back to take a look and laughed along with me. We were both laughing, and then I realized something I didn't want to admit. The room fell into a deep silence. I was still lying on his bed, and he came took off his slippers and sat on top of the bed in a butterfly position.
"Pamela, I can't take it anymore. From the first moment you appeared in my life you brought light and fire to me. Your voice, your walk, just everything about you completely amazes me. The way you make everything much better. You simply shine like a star"
As he spoke my body felt complete warmness and desired him. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I tried again and all I could manage to say was,
"Hug me..."
He did, He came and laid right next to me. Maroun embraced me, and wrapped his arms around me.
"Maroun?"
"Yes Dear?" he responded oh so sweetly.
And it was just so magical,
"I think I'm in love with you," our voices came together in unison as we spoke the same words at the same exact time.
That’s when I knew. I was his Star.

To Be Continued...

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 22.06.2010

Widmung:
To him, for the great times.

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