My first thought about moving away, was that I needed to gain a new identity, a completely
new one, the identity I possessed now was not my own. I was molded by my''PARENTS'', to be a perfect child in every way .The day I turned sixteen, I died my hair red.

It wasn't an orange red, it was what I called ''candy red'', because it was the exact same color,
as the red part, on candy canes. I also, completely changed my look and dressed the way I wanted.
I used eye-liner, and had bangs cut in my hair. I started caring less about school, more about
music,-my music-and my ever so dear semi-acoustic.
I usually saw people staring at me, more at my hair, but usually at me.

''We shall be landing in, Sacramento international Airport shortly''one of the flight attendants chimed, in her annoying
soprano voice. So I did up my seat belt, and waited until we we landed, I let out a sigh of relief, and slowly walked off
the plain, with doing so. I felt the heat of the midday sun, in Northern California, hit my face like a blast of hot air, from a hair-drier.

The people that adopted me,-after my mother died in childbirth-,only adopted me because, they
thought that they, were being good to God, How you may ask, well my family aren't exactly the most normal.
Aunt Gemma had married John Teller, the founder of SAMCRO(Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club's Redwood Original)-they liked bikes-so you get the
picture. I was moving in with her. She had told me to do so, after I told her that my step parents, had
locked me up in my room, because I had stayed out until, ten o'clock at night. She thought it was absurd and ordered
my ''parents' 'to send me to live with her , Jax and Clay.

I picked up both my suitcases, and walked out into the greeting area. I found Jax staring at me, open
mouthed. I ran up to him, and looped my arms around his neck, he quickly picked me up and
swirled me around, but eventually put me back, and stared at me shocked.''You changed
so much, Lilith''he choked out, as he held me in-front of him.''Missed you to Jax''I said sarcastically,
a small smirk spread on my face, he laughed and immediately, took the two suitcases out of my hands,''you
must be tired''he said as he lead me outside of the air-conditioned airport. As we neared the car, I spoke ''Nice weather''/''Yeah I know 'he
answered as he tossed the cases in the back of the truck and opened the door for me, I smiled at him and
said thanks, and climbed in to the car . On the way to my new home, we talked about well... everything, this was why I liked Jax so much,
he was like my twin, in a lot of ways. I could talk to him, about anything and he, could do the same with me .We chatted
for a while about Charming had attended and so would I. The time seemed to fly by, as I realized we had, pulled into the drive.

''This is going to be good''I said in my mind, and then smiled.

I noticed that, aunt Gemma was waiting, in-front of the door her arms were folded, and she looked board.
Her eyes quickly lit up; when she noticed we had pulled in, a wide smile spread across her face.

She, walked over to the truck, as I climbed out of it. 'Red ha?''She said, as I ran over to her and hugged her, she hugged me back very tightly, and whispered ''your back home now kid 'in my ear, I smiled ''sure am''.
After all that, we went into the kitchen; it was made completely, out of dark oak wood. 'Coffee?'' Gemma asked, as she put the kettle on, 'black'' Jax answered, Gemma looked at me ''black'' I nodded, 'you've grown up''/''yeah, that's what teenagers do''She laughed.
''I haven't seen you, since you were fourteen, you can't blame me, for being shocked 'she said, then poured water into the kettle.
''I must admit you haven't grown much ''Jax said, smirking, ''five foot four is acceptable 'I said quite sharply. /''Maybe'', I punched him, in the arm and he faked a face.
After coffee, I went upstairs to unpack, Gemma had prepared the guest room for me. The bedding was white, there was one purple cushion on it, -my mother had the same one, Gemma and her had made them at school, they were cousins - I put both my suitcases on top of the bed.

The first one, was filled with clothes, the second one however, contained a pair of knee-high chunky black boots, a pair of purple converse, my toiletry bag, a purple comforter and a small ornate jewelry box. I laid the comforter, on the end of my bed, put the jewelry box and toiletry bag on the dressing all my clothes, in my new white closet. I opened the closet, and I found a nice surprise, my old Fender semi acoustic (cherry) was in its case, waiting for me to break it out.

After strumming for a while, I went into the living room, Gemma was working on a crossword, "six letter word, for a guitar brand?"She said, while not moving her eyes, away from the paper."Gibson "I answered, and I slumped down next to her, she put her arm around me "your very good at it "she said. I gave her a weir look, and with a smirk I said "at what?" she sighed "the guitar, your good at playing the guitar "I nodded."Adam and Gene didn't think so "I said, she seemed annoyed, at me mentioning them "there nothing, to you now dear "she stated, as she stared, at her shoes.

After a couple of minutes, Clay came storming, through the door, "I heard that the princess had arrived in town "he said in his deep, harsh voice.

I jumped up and went over to hug him, he practically picked me up, and then he started staring at my hair "red?"He asked "red!"I agreed."You want to come, to the shop?" he asked after a while, I nodded and walked outside, to find a black Harley, "you changed bikes "I noted 'and followed him up to the bike. He put a helmet, in my hands 'and I strapped it on. I saw Gemma outside the door "already a member babe?"She said laughing, and we set off.

The shop (Teller-Morrow) seemed, a bit older to me now. The blue and yellow paint, seemed worn down, as I walked inside, it seemed to be empty, of course, the fact quickly changed, once I was captured in a bear-hug, I knew immediately, by the beard, that it was Opie.
"Hey Opie!"I said giggling, and he put me back down."Girl, you have grown!"I smiled, and nodded

But, was caught off guard, by a loud bang, I covered my ears, and felt some-one tap, on my shoulder.

"Sorry Ma'am, didn't know, you were coming "It was Tig, I was, so sure it was Tig, that I didn't turn around

To answer him."Do I get one?"I asked, "a what?" he said, and I turned around, and saw the smoke flowing

Out of, the gun in his hand, I pointed at it .He laughed, and put his free arm, around my neck, "Finally

Home, ehh "he said, and I hugged him tightly.

I always had, something with Tig, when I used to come, and visit Gemma in the summer holidays.

He would, take me around Charming, in the blazing heat and not complain at all. I guess, he saw mesas a little sister.

He seemed to get jealous, whenever I talked to boys, and of course, I teased him about it a LOT. "Need any help?"

I pointed at the old muscle car, he nodded, and gave me a spanner, and I took off my shirt and was left, with my tank-top.

A couple of hours later, it seemed to be getting dark, so I got up and Tig dropped me off, back at my new home.

HE kissed me goodbye, on the head. I walked inside the kitchen, only to find Gemma, over a hot saw me

Looking at her, oddly and opened her mouth, to explain "you don't need to "I said and, went into the living room.

I jumped onto the sofa, next to Jax."Soup "he said, and changed the channel to a hockey game, "that's my home-team "I

Stated, pointing at the TV," .Vancouver Canucks"he read off the screen, then added "you must, love the cold "I shook my

Head "I hate it!"He nodded "heat?"He asked "love it" I eating Gemma's soup, II had a shower

And went to bed, tommorw was Monday-first day at school-.

I woke up the next day, with bed-hair, so I went to the shower, and got washed. I put on some underwear, and

Dried my hair. It was cut the same way, as Joan Jett's (on purpose) and it was, naturally straight.

I put on some, black skinny jeans, a turquoise t-shirt (with a small black skull on it), and a grey and navy cotton shirt. I

Folded up, the sleeves on the shirt, and left the buttons undone. I next put on my converse, and went back into the bathroom, with my make-up bag.

I used some eye-liner, and mascara, next I used a little bit of lip-stainer. I then, put my strawberry lip balm, in my pocket. I was now ready

To, face the world (well ...sort of).

I walked downstairs, and made myself some cereal, a couple of seconds later, Clay walked winked at me, and I offered me some

Coffee, but I declined it; he made himself a mug, and came to sit in-front of me."Are you ready?" he asked, as I nodded in response,

"Do you want me to drop you off?"I paused," no, I can walk, it's only a couple of minutes away "He nodded, and ruffled my hair, he got up

And went .I put the bowl in the sink, grabbed my old school-bag, and walked out the door.

I got to school, I went into the office, and I got my papers and went straight to class. I didn't want to talk to anybody or

Even make first couple of classes, I took notes, and listened. I really wanted to, get out of school, as

Soon as I class after lunch, was chemistry-my least favorite class-So for most of, the time-being I was day-dreaming. I was day-dreaming

About, one of my favorite dreams, becoming a member of SAMCRO, I know it sounds absurd, but that was my dream.

I was thinking about, who I haven't seen yet since I arrived in town, at that exact moment my head jolted up .Juice had

Just came storming through the door, and he was looking straight at menthe teacher gave him a look, and he went

Back outside and knocked on the door, "yes?"The woman said, and he popped his head thought they had a short Mohawk

And lightning bolts, tattooed on each side of his head .I liked the way he looked.

"Can you excuse Lilith Mrs...?"He looked at the name tag "Genteel" he smirked, "what is the emergency!"She snorted in

Her pig like voice."Clay Morrow is asking for her "he said and the woman's eyes widened, "ohh...OK then "she stuttered

And looked back at her piece of looked at me, and he smiled a huge smile, I quickly collected all my stuff and practically ran out.

Other students were watching in disbelief, I heard people murmuring, when I was walking in the hall next to

Juice, it was more like running with him, rather than walking, he opened his mouth to talk, but I answered him before him

Could say anything."Yes Red!"I said sighing and he started to run outside, to where his bike was. Juice passed

Me his helmet, and I strapped it on, he got on, started the engine, and patted the space behind him.

I jumped on behind him and put my arms around his waist "You got to hold on tighter than that, or you will fall off "he said, chuckling

Over the sound of the engine. I held on to his waist tighter, and we were off.

Juice didn't like to go VERY fast, but he was still quite fifteen minutes we were at what they called "church". As we walked over to the door

Juice winked at me "don't worry, you're not in trouble "he course I wasn't in trouble, I hadn't done!.Juice knocked on the door, and after hearing a mumbled

"Yes "from inside, he opened it.

"Lilith's here!"He said and then let me in, I first went over to say hello to Piney, He hugged me and kissed me on the head, then I walked over to Chibs "Hello lovie" he

Said and hugged me very then passed me on to Elvis "Lilith "he said, bowing his head, "Elvis"I said copying his a while of non-organized

Chaos, Clay called for order "the reason why, I called you hear "he said to me, and looked at left the room and came back with, a small black box.

He gave it to me, and I opened it, inside there was a was no ordinary pistol, no it was handle was rosewood, the body was red brass, and inside the trigger, the word

"Red "was inscribed in intricate lettering. I was speechless; a giant sized smile had spread across my face "Its...fantastic "I said then paused"beautiful" he seemed pleased with

My reaction "I thought you might need it, it seemed fair, anyway Jax got his first at your age "he nodded at Jax."Where did you find it?"I asked, and Tig jumped in "A friend of mine had it

in-stock "he said, "but Clay, added the inscription "he added after seeing Clay's passed by like seagulls and before I knew it, it was time for me to got home. I thanked Clay (and Tig)

And said good-bye to everybody else, so got a ride back home with Jax.

I woke up early in the morning, and went to the firing range with Jax; he showed me how to fire my gun. I showed him how to get blood

Out of clothes, not because I shot him, but because he cut his knee on the we got back home, Gemma was waiting for us

"You kids have a nice time?"She asked, as we walked through the door."Yes "we answered in unison, with innocent voices and she

Breakfast I ran to school, I got there just as the bell was ringing, and sat in the front row(as usual).The teacher seemed Preoccupied at the door, so

I started to listen to the group of kids behind were talking about a party, I guess that's what normal teenagers a while I felt somebody

Tap on my shoulder, I turned around and locked at the was wasn't a natural blond (it was obvious) but she had her arm

Around a boy, who didn't seem to care if she was real or fake, just blond?"I'm Veronica "she said in a high pitched voice, and stuck out her hand, I shook it "Lilith"

I answered."Are you Clay's daughter?"She asked, I shook my head "I'm Gemma's cousin "I corrected her"Ohhh...like it here?"She said, as she changed the subject and

I boy she had her arm around offered his hand" I'm John "he said and I smiled-he had dark hair and pale eyes-"pleasure "I answered.

Veronica spoke up "there's going to be a party at John's tonight, Barry road!"There was a pause "you want too come?" John added. I thought for a second,

"Yeah sure "I said, and the teacher came into the room.

At lunch, I asked permission of Gamma if I could go to the party and she immediately said "yes of course!"She seemed pretty happy about ate lunch

Talking about all we could find, later I sat on the sofa with Jax."Juice wanted you to go to the shop, this afternoon "he said out of the blue, "why?"

I asked genuinely paused for a second "he is completely re-wiring the place "he took a sip of his coke "you can still catch him, if you want". I got up "see you by seven "I said and

darted out the only took me 7 minutes to reach the shop, Tig was standing in front and staring at me"Hi Tig"I said as I neared him, and without an answer I added "Bye Tig!"

And reached the door. I knocked the door and opened it without waiting for a response, when I entered the room all I saw, was a bunch of colored wires, and scattered all around the place.

"Juice?"I shouted "Under the table!" his voice said back. I knelt down and looked under the tableland truth foretold there he was, a spanner in his mouth.

"Hey!"I said smiling and he winked back, as he got up from under the table, I went over to where his laptop was stuff on his screen seemed

Pretty simple, a box of ones and zero's on one side, and a layout of wires on the other. I took the mouse, and clicked on a small gap. I immediately typed in

An extra one, I looked at Juice, he was standing right behind me, staring at the screen (shocked)."How did you do that?"He asked and looked at mesa grin spreading across his face.

I shrugged smiling "I just know stuff "I explained."You think you can keep doing that for a couple of hours, while I Finnish off?"He asked and I nodded.

Unexpectedly he hugged me "your a life saver "he said and I grinned, he got back under the table and did his job as I did mine.

We talked a lot, he asked me about well... movies, food, hobbies and at the most talked about his love for

Biography's, as I confessed my odd love for science fiction. I told him about school and the party, he listened and then asked what I

Wanted to do after school. I told him about my guitar, and how I wanted to become a member of SAMCRO."It's hard being a prospect

,especially if your me "he said and told me about what it was like being in I knew it was seven PM,"I think you need to get

Going, or else you will be late. "He said and took me a shower I put on some nice clothes and more make-up than usual, Jax came

Into my room without knocking."Party?"He asked and I nodded, while at the same time I was trying not to poke my eye out with mascara.

"You gonna take the gun?"I shook my head then smirked and added "maybe"."If you're nearly ready ill drop you off "he asked "that will be nice "II

Said, and after a while we were on our way.

Jax dropped me off at the front door, as I got off the bike I noticed a large number of girls staring at Jax, and a large number of guys staring at the bike.

I smiled at the thought and walked inside, the girl-Veronica-came over to me as soon as she saw complimented me on what

I was wearing and I told the same to introduced me to people, who in turn asked me if I was with they leaned I wasn't, they asked me about

Jax even more. I had a couple of beers and eventually stopped enjoying myself.

I walked to the bedroom, where the phone was. I only knew the number of the shop, so I called that there would be somebody there to pick me nobody picked up. I tried

Again, and again but, still no answer. I slumped down onto the floor next to the phoneme was getting pretty close to a couple of minutes, I heard somebody walk into the

I looked up, I noticed that it was John and four more guys and they were getting closer to me. I quickly got up, but they were getting I walked backwards tripped and

Landed on the bed, Man I wish I had brought the of them bent over on top of me and put his arms around my waist, I struggled to get up but it just didn't work.

He brought his lips close to my neck and then kissed it, and then he stated to move down my body. I saved my energy and kneed him in the stomach, I thought about shouting but the noise just

Didn't come out. I quickly seized the opportunity and got of the bed, but they were getting closer. I saw a window behind me "thank god were on the first floor "I said to myself and jumped

Out of it.

I was now in the back garden, the garden looked onto a busy highway and, there wasn't a fence between of the garden and the highway. I backed up slowly as I saw them

Climb out of the window. I next had visions running through my head, what if they kill me, and my body is never found and Gemma will think that I ran off!.What if they do

Discover my body, SAMCRO would go on a rampage and Gemma will be if they don't kill me and I would have to live with the trauma for the

Rest of my if I told somebody (like you're supposed to) SAMCRO would still go on a rampage and they might make me go live with my"parents".Then my thoughts changed.

What about everybody else, they would feel guilty, and if I was killed they would feel even guiltier and would probably go through unnecessary pain.

Now they were getting closer some kept on backing up until I was on the edge of the passing behind me light lightning bolts, what if I got run over!Then I thought of something !.

Juice.

I liked him, I liked him even more than I wanted to wasn't the first time that I liked anybody this much, but this time it seemed if I wasn't forced, it just seemed right.

John got closer to me, so close I could hear him breathing. I was sweating now "don't worry this won't hurt a bit "he said and the guy behind him chuckled "stop lying to her

John "he brought his hand closer to my face, and pulled away a strand of hair, from my sweaty face. He got closer to me, but then to my surprise he stopped. I heard the

Noise of a Harley's engine, John backed up and so did the others, they seemed scarred. I caught my breath and listened as the sound died I could hear now was the road behind me

And the breathing, coming from the humans standing in front of terrifying sounds they were.

John, was walking back up to me ,at that exact moment, a monster of a bike came out of nowhere!, and quickly covered the gap, between me and him. It slid, and pulled upright in front of me. I was trying to figure out who, the rider was. He took off his helmet, and exposed two lightning bolts, it was Juice!

He grinned "Sorry, I couldn't answer the phone "he said, and left the bikes engine on. He got of the bike, and walked over to the five guys that were staring at him, partly shocked, and

Partly annoyed. One of them, was taller than Juice, and he didn't seem scared."You messed with, the wrong footballers!"the tall one, shouted at him, and for some reason, Juice didn't seem scared. As they got closer, to Juice, they were looking at him, as if they were going to kill him. He smiled, "Really "he asked, and pulled his gun out of his belt. The shocked (and apparent footballers) looked, at juice and then, at the gun. They stared at me, and backed up as I just, stood there, waiting for them to leave

When, they were gone, Juice put his gun away, and walked over to me. My body, was stiff, my eyes, were wide and, my skin was cold. I choked "they were going to rape me "I said, and then repeated the words again, until they sunk in. I was later shocked, when Juice did, the most unimaginable thing. He hugged me, and rocked me in his arms, until I calmed down. His face, in my hair "I bet, you don't want to go home, yet."He said his voice comforting and warm. I buried my head, into his chest, as if I was, saying "NO". He hugged me tighter, his toned arms could easily, encapsulate me."OK then, but let's get away from here. "He answered, and led me over, to his bike. I just stood there, as he, strapped my helmet on, and got on the bike. I got on behind him, and dug my face into his back, as I held on tightly.

After fifteen minutes of silence, I found myself in a small, - odd for this time of year-green, meadow, we stopped in the middle of it, and he set the bike up on its suspender. He got off, and helped me get off as well, after that he sat down on the ground, his back leaning on the bike, he seemed at ease, so I did the same. It seemed very peace-full, down here. I could hear not any other sound, but Juice's heartbeat, it was even and calming, I layed my head on his chest, he didn't mind, and kept on breathing. I listened to it, my head slowly moving, up and down on his chest. He put his arm around me (seeing that I was wearing only a t-shirt), and waited until, he thought I was calm enough to talk. "That's Mars "he said, in a low voice, as he pointed at a small red planet. I sighed, "I didn't get to see the stars back home "I stated, and he held me tighter, and nodded."I couldn't either, when I lived in New York "his breathing changed, and his voice-heavy, and, solid-, grumbled in his chest.

After, what felt like half an hour, but was actually double that time. He took me home, when I got there Gemma walked over to me, and helped me, off the bike "How was, the party?"I smiled, a forced smile. Juice answered for me "she wanted, to stay longer "he paused, looking up at me "She's tired now, that's all "he said. After saying goodbye, he went back to the clubhouse. Gemma didn't bother me that night, she was tired herself. I had a shower, and got ready for a dreamless night.

I had no dreams that night, and probably would have slept until lunch time (if what happened next, didn't happen).

The white sheets on top of me were all over the room, the pillow was in my arms, and I thought I heard somebody, sigh. I opened one eyes, and saw Tig, he was sitting on a stool, next to my bed. He seemed to be sitting there for a while, as he looked at me, he was, excited."Great, you're up! Now, you can go to the clubhouse."He said, and left my room, without an answer. I put on, a pair of black mini-shorts, a black tee and my purple converse. I washed my face, and pulled my fingers through my hair (I knew it was going to be a busy day).I ate an egg, quickly drank a cup of black coffee, and ran to the clubhouse.

I opened the door, and saw a boxing-ring "Ohh..."I said, as I understood why Tig was so excited. The guys saw me at the door, "Hey sleeping beauty, you ready to fight?"Clay asked as he came over to me, and ruffled my hair. I sighed, and watched as Jax got into the ring, barehanded!"Lucky thing I filed my nails" I said to myself, as I walked over to the professional looking, bright red, and piece of rubber with rope wrapped around it. I jumped up in to it, and pulled my fingers through my red hair. I automatically made my hands, into fists. I knew how to fight, maybe even, knew it well, but next to Jixi was a pawn."Ok?"He asked, smiling and II rolled my eyes. He showed me, a couple of techniques, and how to work my left hand (my best hand) as well as my right.

To my suprise, he jumped out of the ring, and gave Juice a high-five."Ohh no..."I grumbled, in my head, as Juice, almost expertly. Jumped into the ring, stood in-front of me, and smiled."Don't worry!"Clay shouted, "He won't hurt you", I took a deep breath. I looked at the scars on my wrists, all from former idiots (who called me a biker whore-although I'm still a virgin-idiots!)."Ready!"Clay said, "Set!"Tig added "Go!"...I heard somebody, ring a bell.

I immediately, punched Juice's right cheek, he blinked shocked. I started moving forwards, and he took a blow at me. I quickly dodged, as he did the same with my next one. I shut my eyes, and repeated the same, left, left, right, and, left. I opened my eyes, I watched as Juice got me in the arm, and then the ribs. I squinted, and gave him a blow to the head, he dodged it. I quickly moved backwards, and geared up for another time, I got him in the stomach, and he gulped and dodged my next one. This went on for quite a while, until we were both left, practically exhausted.

The bell rang, and I jumped out of the ring. Tig appeared in front of me, and handed me a towel."Wow!"He said as I wiped my face. I could see Juice, from the corner of my eye, as he was getting, lightly teased by the others. Clay neared me "Didn't know, you had it in you "he said, chuckling."Neither did me"I said, then quickly added, "It's just, I change when that bell rings "he smiled. I walked over to the others, "Lilith, you were fantastic!"Bobby said as he took a puff, of his smoke."Yeah kid, you were like a machine "said Chibs, as I grinned and then looked at Juice "Really, you were "he smiled as he agreed with Bobby. They all complimented me, and offered me some beer as a treat. I gladly accepted the unopened can, and drank a quarter of it, out of thirst.

I looked in the mirror, after I washed my face. My not so natural red hair was fading, I made a mental note to buy some die. The dark-brown roots were showing, they seemed to me, to be the exact same color as my eyes. I had seen pictures of my mother, she had a round face, blue eyes and red hair. I had pale skin like her, and the two permanent freckles under my eyes, were in exactly the same place as hers. In the pictures Gemma had given me, she looked young, and happy, she was only twenty when she died.

I didn't dare ask anybody about my father, my "parents" had once said that he was "a no good, all too violent, biker", but when I asked Gemma. She just ignored me, and didn't answer. I had learned to stop asking, and I eventually gave up.

I heard a knock on the door, then another "You in there?" Jax asked from the other side. I sighed, "Yeah, I'll be out in a minuet" I answered, and waited for him to go down the stairs. I slowly went down after him, he was now sitting in the living room with Opie, and they were talking very loudly. I stood behind the door, and listened. "I did not know, she could do that!"Opie said excitedly to Jax, "You saw how Clay watched, didn't you?" Jax asked. "Yeah, it was like a gleam of hope in his eyes." Opie said, he seemed to notice a lot of stuff. "If she could ride a bike, she would be better than old, Half-Sack." Jax's voice seemed to change when he mentioned Half-Sack. Poor kid, I liked him a lot, he was sweet. "She could even become a prospect, if she had a bit more muscle on her, but fuck can she fight. I mean, Clay only put Juice in there to see her full potential". I heard Jax sigh, "Yeah, she's eighteen next week you know?" he said, "Wow that girls grown up fast, to bad she wasn't much of girl while she was doing it". Jax answered "She's always been a tomboy, even when she was a kid she didn't like the dresses Gemma got her." Opie said and Jax agreed, I quietly walked upstairs, and got some money from my room. "I'm going to the store!" I shouted, startling them both, "Be back by dinner time, Mom's making take-out." .I laughed and ran out the door. The heavenly California sun was hitting my face, sparkling off the dessert around me. The sun I loved was somewhat, missing in Vancouver, it just didn't exist there as it did here.

I walked into the store, and as I did, I got a burst of highly unwelcome cold air, and I walked down to the cosmetics isle. I wasn't very familiar with the great importance of being feminine, but I needed some things. As I scanned the brands of hair die, I noticed that Tara, was standing right next to me. I guess I was staring at her for a bit too long, when she saw me she had a VERY surprised look on her face. "Lilith,..." I smiled, "Tara" I said. "You look so grown up, ...and your hair." ,"Yeah I know red". She hugged me, I liked Tara, and unlike a lot of the girls in Charming she made sense. With her I could talk about anything I wanted, and not get a brainless stare in the face. I could have an intelligent conversation with her, apparently she had just gotten back home with Abel. I hadn't seen Abel yet, she told me that, she would be coming round with Jax this afternoon. After she went, I looked back at the isle. I chose a shade of red that I liked, and got myself a pair of tweezers. Once I got home, I followed the instructions on the packet, "15 minutes" I said to myself as I eased the mixture in to my hair. I wrapped a towel around my head, and looked at the pair of tweezers, still in the packaging. I got a small mirror from my dressing table, and sat in front of the window, where I could make full use of the sun.

I was halfway through when Gemma walked in, she looked at me then smiled "Finally" she said and put a basket full of clean laundry on my bed. "They look good" she said looking at my eyebrows, half shocked, I smiled at her "What's the time?" I asked. "Half three" she said, and then she added "You better wash it out!" I did her bidding, and then dried my hair, it was a much nicer shade now, a bit darker but still nicer.

Snow and ice all round me, the cold, it was... it was killing me. White to some, maybe explained as pure and untouched, but to me it was utter hell .My ''Parents'' loved to go skiing. I didn't, the cold to me, just seemed to be the most horrible thing on the planet. So when I got the chance, to move to the Californian dessert. I jumped at it, and now next week I would be free, free to do anything I want, and to go anywhere I wanted to go. But for now I was still in the cold, I knew I was in a dream that eventually turned into a nightmare. I was swimming in the ocean, with the absolutely magnificent Orca's, then I got lost, I was sinking down into the deep dark cold.

Then, I felt the warmth of a thousand suns. Hitting my body, heating my body, and awakening my body.

I opened my eyes, slowly, and there was the sun standing right in front of me. Yeah it was a son alright, just not the one I was expecting, or even looking for. ''What the hell, are you doing in my room Juice ?'' I asked him, as he stood in front of the window he just opened. ''Waking you up, its lunch time'' I shot up, hitting my head on the headboard. ''Did Gemma make lunch?'' I asked, as I rubbed my sore head. ''She's in Lodi'' Juice said, as he looked out of the window, onto the dry dessert.

''What?'' I asked as I stared at him, ''She had some errands to run, and the guys had some business to take care of'' he explained and looked back at me. ''And your stuck baby-sitting me, aren't you?'' I smirked. He nodded, and watched me as I got out of bed and go to the bathroom. ''Cereal will be OK right?'' he asked, as I heard him go down-stairs. ''Yeah!'' I shouted, and put some tooth-paste on my tooth-brush. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes seemed odd to me, without make-up. I shrugged and went to my room, I put on a pair of blue leopard print mini-shorts, and a black tee with the Reaper on. I put on a pair of black flip-flops that Gemma had given me, because she was sick of me wearing shoes.

I looked for something simple to cook in the cupboards, like spaghetti .But there was nothing, not one thing, so after eating cereal with Juice, I decided to go to the store. I decided to walk, I mean there's no room for groceries on a Hog, is there?. ''So, what do you want to do tonight?'' Juice asked as I locked the door, I shrugged ''Watch a movie?'' I said as I watched him lead the way. ''What you got in mind'' he asked, I thought hard and eventually came up with an answer ''Star Wars'' he looked at me. ''All of them?'' he asked, a bit overwhelmed, and I nodded as we entered the store. ''So when they coming back?'' I asked him, as we neared the fruit and veg, ''Who?, Gemma and the guys'' I nodded, he thought for a while as he picked up a tomato ''tomorrow night, I think'' he answered.

I looked around for some basil, and was surprised when Juice tapped on my shoulder, and handed me a bunch of basil. ''Thanks man'' I said and then smiled, he smiled back and took me to where the spaghetti was, I got a packet. ''Where, did you learn how to fight?'' he asked me out of the blue. I shrugged ''No, seriously'' he said, ''Why?'' I asked. ''Did Tig teach you?'' he asked, now persistent. I shook my head ''I just, know how'' I explained, as we headed out the door. ''Well, you can sure fight, I can give you that much.'' he smiled, ''So dinner...'' I said changing the subject, ''you can cook right?'' he asked laughing, I smiled ''maybe'' I said. We walked back to the house, and the mid-day sun was hitting my face once again.

´´Maybe I should go blond´´ I stated, as I took a knife out of the drawer. ´´No way! You can't do that. ´´Juice said, as he put a chip in his mouth. ´´Why?´´ I asked now giggling, as I rinsed the basil. ´´Well´´ he said then paused, and put another chip in his mouth ´´It's kind of like you isn't it?´´ I shook my head ´´ I'm a fucking brunette Juice´´ I said, and gave him the knife. He took it, and then took the basil out of my hand. He placed it on the chopping-board, and sized it up with the knife ´´Your very, nearly gaining the nick-name Red you know´´ he said, as he started chopping the basil. I nodded "That would be better, than Lilith wouldn't it?" He winked at me, as he kept on chopping the basil. I took, the two tomatoes out of the cupboard, and started washing them.

It was now, seven o'clock, and it was nearly dark outside, so me and Juice decided to start dinner. It all just seemed so easy with him, he understood me and I understood him (at least, most of the time) I got out another chopping board, and put it on the table. I put the tomatoes on it, and started chopping them. "Hey Juice" I said, and he looked up at me, "Yeah Red?" he asked, I was liking this nick-name. "Do you think, you could teach me how to ride a bike?" He stopped chopping. "Don't you already know?" he asked, as he looked up at me, I shook my head "Wow!" he said, as his eyes opened up wide. He took a breath "OK then, we'll start next week, after you graduate" he paused again, "Is your birthday, the day after you graduate?" he asked as he concentrated on the basil. "Hmm" I nodded, "Ohh" he said, "What you going to do for your birthday?" he asked. I shrugged; my birthday was also the anniversary of my mother's death.

After we had everything ready, Juice helped me cook and it didn't taste awful. It actually tasted good.

"The third one" I said, as I pointed at the cabinet under the TV. Juice picked up the film, and popped it in the DVD player. He came back over to the couch, and sat right next to me, the opening-credits started. As we watched the film, I slowly sinkd into Juice, he was warm very warm. It was like he was my own personal star, like the sun. Warming me voluntarily, whenever I was cold or scared, he just seemed to appear whenever I needed somebody. My eyes slowly, but surely got heavier. Until I sunked into the land of, a thousand Sun's. I heard Princess Lea's annoying voice, and I slowly opened my eyes. Juice had his arms around me, he must have heard me wake-up because he talked, when I opened my eyes "I don't like the princess, I mean how could she kiss her own brother?" I giggled. "Right?" he asked me, and I nodded, he didn't take his arms off me. I was happy about that. As the end of the last film neared, I got up and walked up to my room. I picked up my toiletry bag, some clean underwear, and my PJ's. I went to the bathroom door "Juice I'm going into the shower!" I shouted down the stairs, "OK Red!" he shouted back up. I had a shower, brushed my teeth, and got dressed. I went to my room and dried my hair, after my hai r seemed dry innuf, I went down the stairs. Juice wasn't there.

I heard a knock on the door; I slowly walked over and opened it. There was Juice, a cloth bag in his hand "Forgot my sleepover gear" he said smiling, I smiled back and let him in. "You want to, have a shower?" I asked. ´´Umm, yeah sure.´´ he said, as he climed up the stairs. I sat on the sofa, and flicked through the channels. I setteled for a documentary on whales, I was immersed in the land of water and plankton, when Juice came to sit by me. ´´It's tommorow´´ he said and I just looked at him. ´´Did you see a hot-water bottle upstairs?´´ I asked him, ´´Why where nearly in a heatwave?´´ I looked at him, I had just noticed what he was wearing. A pair of sweats, and that was it. He looked built from the outside, but I had never seen him like this. His stomach was perfectly chissled, just like his chest and arms. I quickly gathered my thoughts, ´´Umm..., it's kind of hard to explain´´ I told him, he smiled and kept looking at me, obviously wanting me to explain. I sighed ´´I can't generate my own body heat, even if I do I quikly loose it. I have a problem with, my blood.´´. He nodded, and then looked at the floor, ´´If you want,´´ he said, then paused and ´´I could...stay with you tonight, if you want?´´ he said still looking at the floor. I smiled ´´I would like that very much´´ I said still smiling, he looked up at me, then smiled back. ´´Would you like being called Red?´´ he asked out of the blue, ´´yeah´´ I said. ´´Why do they sing?´´ he asked now, as he pointed at the TV, ´´Nobody knows´´ I said calmly and looked at the clock on the wall.

I looked at the clock on the wall, Juice was right, it was tomorrow. The time was five past one, 'Its late, I'm going to bed.' I said to Juice, and he nodded 'I'll be up, in a couple of minuets' he said. I walked up the stairs, into my room, and into my bed. I folded the white sheets down, and layed down onto the left side of the bed. The left side, was also the side where the window was, the window was open. The warm summer breeze let itself in without permission, as I watched the half-moon in the sky.

I could see lights in the distance; they were shining as bright, as the countless stars up above me. I watched them silently, Charming seemed peaceful without the constant roar of bikes, and I guess it was. After a while, I heard Juice turn off the TV, and then the last of the lights downstairs, he next walked up the stairs and then turned the corridor light off. He came through the open door, into my room. It was now lit-up with moonlight, half of it barely visible.

He saw me looking at the sky, as he neared the bed. His feet, made the floorboards scream, and I could feel him just looking at me, just staring as innocently as possible. He slowly got on to the bed, but the bed didn't make a sound. He layed down, and folded his arms behind his head. I turned around to look at him; he was staring out of the open window, at the navy blue sky. Once he noticed I was looking at him, he looked at me and smiled an assuring and beautiful smile. I smiled back at him.

His caramel skin, was glowing like diamonds in the moonlight, over his sparkling white teeth. I had a pure moment of bliss. I had never felt bliss before, but I was happy, and pretty sure that I was feeling it now. 'You have a nice view' Juice said, as he looked up at the moon behind me. 'I know' I said smiling, as I looked at him, I put my head on his chest. For the second time in my life, I heard his even and calming heartbeat. He put his right arm, around my shoulder and kissed my head. 'Good night' he said in a velvet voice, 'Good night' I answered him back, as I tried to keep my voice sweet.

It didn't seem to take me long, to nod of. I was listening to Juice's heavenly, heartbeat and breaths after all.

I felt the warmth; of the California sun hit my whole body. Somehow the sheets were now over me. It didn't take me long to answer this question, as I saw a tattooed arm holding me. He was now fast asleep, behind me. It didn't take an idiot to understand, that Mother Nature had finally had her way. Spooning, I guess was the word for it, it being what me and Juice were doing now. I knew it happened unconsciously, and I couldn't really blame Mother Nature, I actually kind of wanted to thank her. I looked up, at the newly born sun, the rays of light stroking my pale face. Then I fell back to sleep.

"Rise n' shine birthday girl! " I opened my eyes; Gemma was standing in front of my bed. The morning sun was gleaming on top of me, "I made pancakes! " She said, looking proud of herself. I gave her a weird look, she sighed "OK, I bought pancake mix from the store" she said and I smiled at her.

"Happy Birthday "she said, as she leaned down and squeezed my cheek, Thanks I said and she left my room. I got up and went straight to the bathroom; I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I went into my bedroom, and picked out my favorite outfit; my ripped black skinny jeans, and my favorite t-shirt (please look at my profile for pics, because the t-shirt is just too awesome to explain.) I ran down the stairs.

Jax and Clay were sitting at the kitchen table; Gemma was finishing off the pancakes. "Morning Red, happy birthday "Jax said as he got up, I walked over and he hugged me very tightly. "Thanks Jax" I said, smiling and he smiled back. "Come here doll" Clay said, as he held his arms wide open, I bent down and he hugged me "Happy birthday" he said and then let me go. I sat down next to Jax, the same place I sat whenever I visited them when I was little. "Grubs up!" Gemma said as she put a small stack of pancakes on my plate, she gave the same amount to Clay and Jax, and then she put the same amount on her own plate. She then squeezed a large amount of maple syrup on them. She then got a jar of cocktail cherries out of the fridge, and put one on top of my now golden stack of heaven.

After breakfast, Gemma kindly kicked me out of the house; she said I should go to Teller-Morrow. I told her, I wanted to practice my guitar; she gave me my guitar case and well...yeah kicked me out of the house. I guess she wanted me out, so she could throw a surprise party, I hate surprises. So I started down the street, my guitar on my back, I heard an old truck slow down behind me. I looked at who the driver was "I know your an adult now and all that now, but you won't mind me giving you lift would you?" Tig said as he opened the passenger door. I climbed in and closed the door behind me.

"Happy birthday, my little red-head" he said as he hugged me, "Thanks Tig" I said smiling. "Gemma kick you out?" he asked as he drove on, I nodded "She's planning a party isn't she?" I asked him"I'm not allowed to say" he answered grinning. "Aha! So she is planning one!'" I said excitedly and he laughed. "When did you start playing the guitar?" he asked, as he pointed at the case I had just unstrapped from my back.

I looked straight ahead "Two years ago" I said, and he nodded, "You any good" he asked as he lit up a smoke. I shrugged, "Don't know, don't care, don't count on it" I said and he laughed again, "that sentence, makes complete sense" he answered, as we neared Teller-Morrow. As Tig came to a stop I jumped out of the old truck, and picked up my guitar from the seat. Juice was already standing pretty close, ready to greet me. You could hear that old truck coming from a mile off. I walked over to him, and he hugged me "Happy birthday Red" he said as he took the guitar out of my hand.

I guess Tig and the others were watching us very closely, thinking that Juice might be taking advantage of me, now that I was eighteen, and legal. I hugged him back, and took in his sent of motor oil and gasoline. "Thanks Juice" I said smiling, as Juice smiled back at me. I saw Opie, walking over to us from the garage; I broke off from Juice and walked over to Opie. "Heard it was your birthday," he said, "Heard you've grown a beard" I answered, and he laughed.

I knew I loved the heat, but this was a little bit too much.

41 degrease Celsius! Juice said, as he slumped down on the right door of the car. A heat-wave, this intense could only hit on MY birthday, what were the chances. So here I was, in Teller-Morrow, sitting on the ground, leaning onto the bumper of the old blue Ford Capri that; me, Tig and Juice were allegedly working on. The heat hit around noon, so we just sat there, staring, silently. The AC in the clubhouse was broken, and so was the one in the garage.

Soo… were fucked! I told Tig, when he noted that there was in fact nowhere suitable to go, to get away from the heat. With no choices left, I just sat down, trying to clear my head from all the clutter that it contained. I eventually got bored, so I got up, and walked over to where Juice had carefully placed my guitar case. I took my guitar out of its case carefully, and then grabbed a pick. I sat back down, and started strumming a couple of chords. I eventually settled on, Far away by Nickelback, it was one of Tig's favorites. I heard him humming along, and it wasn't exactly long before he started singing in his harsh but surprisingly skillful voice. Halfway through, I found myself lost in the song.

I love you, I loved you all along, and I miss you the far aways are far too long. I sang, I keep dreaming you will be with me, and you will never know. Tig answered, as his voice slowly died out. I didn't know that I had kept singing, until I finally finished the song. I heard Tig laugh from the left side of the car, I couldn't be that bad. You have the voice of a fucking angel! He said, I looked at him over the edge of the car, eyes wide open. I guess my jaw had dropped because he then sighed, I'm serious he said, as he looked at my amusingly shocked face. I shook my head in disgrace, He wouldn't lie to you! Juice shouted from the right side of the car. Shit! I forgot he was there, I thought to myself. I eventually calmed down, and with one shrug I started playing again.

After a couple of random chords, I finally found something that I wanted to play. I played the first couple of verses, and eventually gave up on not singing. I started to sing.

Have you ever hated yourself, for staring at the phone…..Have you ever been, touched so gently you had to cry, Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?

I didn't sing anymore, I just didn't feel like it. So I started on something new. I believe in nothing, not the end and not the start. I believe in nothing, not the earth and not the stars. I believe in nothing, not the day and not the dark. Then something unexpected happened. Juice, started to sing with me. I believe in nothing, but the beating of our hearts. He said, his voice now sounded sweet and comforting. Like the night he had saved me from John and his apprentices. I smiled and sang with him. I believe in nothing, one hundred suns until we part. I believe in nothing, not in Satan not in god. I believe in nothing, not in Peace and not in war. I believe in nothing, but the truth and who we are.

I played the last chord and took a breath. He popped his head out from the corner of the car, he smiled at me and I smiled back. I looked back over at Tig, he was fast asleep. He looked so peaceful now, like a newborn baby Juice said, as he quietly came over to sit with me. I chuckled I guess, you know a lot about newborn babies then. He shook his head, just the basics, like they scream their heads off when they're hungry, or tired. I giggled, that's Tig alright I said and he smiled. We heard a loud racket from the clubhouse, so we turned around. There was a woman storming out of the front door, not so unusual if you ask me. She was coming over to us, Clay on her tail. The woman was around six foot tall, with blond hair, and obviously had fake breasts. She looked at me, taking in every part of my body, from my eyes to my toes. This was very unnerving, I heard you playing! She stated as she looked at my finger nails, that were now gripping the neck of my guitar. I shrugged; I'm not having her strip for you! Clay shouted at her as he finally got near us.

Tig woke up when he heard Clay's voice; he got up and shook the woman's hand. Hey Katie, what can me and Lilith do for you? He said as he put his arm around my shoulder. Only if she's taller than five foot two. The woman said as she smiled at me, A whole two inches! I added sarcastically. The woman, Katie apparently, rolled her eyes. Before you ask, yes she is eighteen. Clay said, then paused It's her birthday today Juice added. Katie smiled Fresh meat, how are you with stage lights? Katie asked as she grinned. I gave her a weird look.

Look kid, you're not going to strip, just do what you were doing a couple of minutes ago. Clay sighed, at her if you're offering her a job, just say it out laud. He said. She looked at me Do you want to cover the, Tuesday nine-to-eleven spot at THE SETS? Tig sighed, umm what am I exactly going to do? I asked her and she smiled.

Just play the guitar and sing, that's all she said as if it was an easy thing to do. To me I guess it was, but people said I was an exception. I looked at Tig, and he winked at me, I liked the idea of performing. Yeah, sure I said and Katie practically squeaked with joy. After she had given me the details and gone, I looked at Juice an overwhelmed expression on my face. Whoa, just turned eighteen and already working in a strip joint, he said smiling, I punched him in the shoulder I'm not stripping there, am I? I said my hands in the air. He sighed No, but you are kind of covering the main weekday spot. I gave him a weird look, how do you know that? I smirked. He paused, did you ask her if you were wearing a costume! He asked as he changed the subject and touched an extremely important point. Shit! I said and he laughed at me. I got her number, I'll call her tomorrow I said shrugging.

My (not so surprise) surprise birthday party, was planned to start at eight pm sharp, but with SAMCRO being the main guests. It was probably going to start some time later. I called Gemma and told her that I was coming home for a shower, when I got home I ran up the stairs and had a quick shower. I dried my hair and put on my black jeans, I looked in my closet. It was filled with VERY casual t-shirts; I had to dig to find a shirt that I haven't worn before. (The shirt is on my profile, I suggest you look at it NOW!).

Gemma called for me to get out, so after putting on my only push-up bra, and my shirt I grabbed my make-up bag, and waited for Tig to pick me up. Gemma had obviously called him, because he pulled up on his bike straight after I walked out the back door. He took me to the clubhouse, and got me another glass of juice. "I don't know why, you don't buy grapefruit" I paused and looked at the orange colord glass, "I mean it's much more, you know... well better" I said sighing. Tig laughed and shook his head "Your legal to drink a fucking beer now kid, why don't you do that" I smirked "I aint that good with hangovers". He smiled, "What are you going to do tomorrow, that will need you sober?" I smiled, "I'm learning how to ride a bike" he looked at me "Shit, I forgot last year didn't I" he said as he frowned. "Yeah" I said as I smiled.

"Who's teaching you" he asked, "Juice" I said, my expression blank, "Really?" he asked as he raised his eyebrows, I nodded "Hmm, that saves me some time ,and a lot of hospital bills" I laughed. After I did my make-up Tig took me back home, when I walked in I was welcomed with a "SUPRISE" I tried to look shocked, but I was defiantly happy. Gemma, with the help of Tara had cooked a lot of food; sausage rolls, cupcakes, homemade chips and dip, mini pizzas, angels on horseback. Then there was the cake, the ever so fantastically awesome, apple cake. I had a beer, my first legal one; I mean I had drunk before obviously.

I looked at the coffee table in the living room; it had more than a few presents on it. "Apple cake?" Juice asked me, I nodded "I love apple pie, and Gemma insisted on having cake, so she just made it in cake form" he laughed, "You ready for tomorrow?" he asked as he took a sip of beer. I nodded "Sure" I said, he put his hand on my shoulder, "You seriously want me to teach you, not Tig?" I smiled "You'r a better teacher, I mean I'm still recovering from when Tig thought me how to drive." He laughed again, "That bad ha?" he asked and I shrugged.

Gemma dashed into the kitchen.

"You better blow those candles out, or I will tell everybody that story, about you and that pair of glasses." She pulled me by the arm into the dining room. There was the two layer, apple cake, with eighteen candles on. Gemma started singing happy birthday, and the whole room joined her. "Happy birthday to you!" I blew-out the candles, then eventually blew out the one left. Everybody took a gulp of their drink, "Here" Gemma said as she handed me a small present. I opened it wearily, it was a small packet of, I paused gasping. "Is this permission!" I said as
I smirked, "No doll, It's so you don't get knocked up and ruin your whole life" I looked back at the packet of birth-control. "Ahh..." Tig said, as he finally understood. Gemma laughed, "Here's the actual one".

I looked at the packet, it was obviously clothes, and I opened it carefully. It was a beautiful black gothic dress (look at my profile for the pics it just toooo cool to explain). "For prom" she said and I just looked at her, "You are not missing prom, you will be sorry when you get old" I nodded obediently. "Its gorgeous Gem thanks" I smiled, a very large smile.

Tig passed me another present, "From me" I opened it, it was a black sweatshirt with guns on either side (the picture is on my profile, check it out when you look at the dress) "I'm guessing, I'm going to learn how to fight very soon" He laughed. "Thanks Tig it's great" I said, and I hugged him, "Happy that you do" he said and kissed my head. Tara tapped me on the shoulder, Jax was standing next to her, "This ones from us, Gemma said it would be a good idea" she said, and then handed me a wrapped box. I took of the wrapping and exposed a shoe box. "To go with the dress" Tara explained, I took the lid off. Inside were a pair of the most amazing high-heels I had ever seen. I gasped "I told you we should have gotten her boots" Jax told Tara, as I just looked at the pair of shoes.

"No Jax, there amazing, thank you so much" I said, and I hugged him and Tara. A lot of the commotion had died out as Juice walked over to me. He handed me a present, it was heavy and soft, I gave him a weird look "What, it's got to be better than that bottle opener Elvis got you" I laughed. I sat down on the couch, and he joined me, I opened the packet. It was purple, black and fluffy "It's a wheat heater; I thought you would find it much easier to put this into the microwave, rather than boil water." I smiled "It's the most useful gift, I have had all day" I put my arms around his neck, and he hugged me. I think it lasted a little bit too long, but I didn't mind. That night, I heated up the purple fluff-ball that Juice had given me, and went to bed. It reeked of lavender, I loved lavender.

´Now, put your left foot here´ Juice said, and he gestured at a point on the bike. He had found me an old Harley to learn with, so now we were on a flat part of desert, burning gas. I kept up with him, until early evening but after having an early morning, I eventually got tired. ´What time did you go to bed last night? ´ he asked me, and I shrugged ´Went to bed at midnight, probably fell asleep at one´ he smiled at me. ´Can't sleep at night? ´ He asked and I nodded, ´Neither can I´ he said. And with this one sentence I knew that I had won his trust.

Back home, I only one person had gained my trust. My best friend Steve, my only friend Steve, the Steve that I had left in Vancouver all alone. He was probably suicidal by now, like he was when I had met him. His mother had grounded him, after she learnt that he was doing pot. He had completely lost his phone privileges when I had left, so I wasn't really upset when he didn't call me on my birthday. He was a really good drummer, which was what had driven me to learn how to play the guitar. ´Were going to be, like the next White Stripes! ´ He would say when he was high, he played better when he was high as well. We played a couple of gigs, in some underground clubs that was how he got into drugs. I youst to go around his house when my parents let me, which wasn't that often. His mother was an ex-hippie, but was now very much against drugs.

We would lie on his bedroom floor for hours, listening to music, reading comic books, or if he had some pot on him. We would get high and talk about shit, I didn't really want to smoke, but I guess it was a good release. Those bastards at school had, other ideas about what we did when we were high. I had gone to junior prom with Steve, he didn't exactly ask me, he just saw that I was depressed and agreed to go with me. The dickheads that had seen us at prom together, started getting nasty the next day.

´You want to come round mine Tanky, I just got the graphic biography of Kurt Kobain´ Steve told me over lunch, as we sat at the highly populated table. ´Dark Horse? ´ I asked him, and he nodded smirking. ´What, so you can fuck her again! ´ A jock would shout from the other end of the table. Man did I hate the kids at my school! And so did Steve, it was the one of many things that we agreed on. I never saw Steve in a romantic way, neither did he see me, he swore that he didn't. Oddly Inonuf, he was also my first kiss, I loved him with all my heart, I knew he loved me too. So I didn't mind when he got high and kissed me, I kissed him back, and it felt good.

He was a good looking boy; I could only depict him as Ewan McGregor. His bright blue eyes, short blond hair, and built structure made him sort of a local heart-throb. But to me he was just Steve, I didn't think of him differently when I was high, he was still just good old Steve. Good old Steve, would come and pick me up from the border when my runaway plans would go very wrong, he would get between me and some whore when I was just about to have a fight that would get me kicked-out of school. The perfect example for his utter devotion would be, every time a guy I didn't like would start hitting on me, he would walk over to me, and put his arm around my shoulder ´Hey doll, is this guy bothering you?´ he would say and kiss me on the cheek. That would usually take care of the situation, I mean he was six foot tall, and he could be intimidating when he wanted to.

I suddenly realized that I missed him, infact I missed him a lot. ´We better be getting you home, its getting dark´ Juice said, ´Yeah, I want to show Tig my new skills´ he chuckled in response, and then lead the way. We ended up at the clubhouse, I saw Tig watching me intently as I rode up the car park. I got of the bike, took my helmet off and shook my head, my red hair falling softly on my shoulders. ´So you can ride a bike, you can play guitar, you can fight, you can sing, seems you have the makings of a great rock star Red´ Tig said laughing and he slapped me on the back.

I spent the evening at the bar, I only had two beers, and Juice had had four. He seemed to handle his drink well, because he wasn't getting his but completely kicked by me at pool. ´Call for you! ´ The prospect shouted from the other side of the room, ´From who? ´ I asked, as I walked over to the bar. He shrugged ´Canada, I think´ he replied.

´Hello! ´ I chimed down the line, as Juice and the prospect watched on. ´Ahh, thank their god, I finally got you Tank´ Juice watched me, as a very wide smile spread across my face ´Steve Twig! I thought I had heard the last of you! ´ Juice's eyes widened. ´Nothing can keep me down baby, ohh.. And yeah happy birthday! ´ I could see that Juice could hear him, because his mouth dropped when he heard ´baby´. I laughed ´Thanks man, how are you calling me? I thought your mom busted you´ he paused, ´ Im on a pay phone, next to forty two´ I smiled. ´Ohh, I got'cha, so any new stock? ´ I looked at Juice, he seemed confused with what he was hearing. Forty two was our favorite comic book shop; people who aren't Sci-Fi addicts don't really get the name, so I will explain. The meaning of life as depicted in (The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy) is forty two 42.

´Yeah, I just got a Futurama trilogy´ Juice still looked lost ´Nice, so how was your very last days of school´ he started laughing ´I threw Nelson Genes out of a window, then punched him in the face´ Juice squinted. ´No way! Is that the same Nelson Genes that grabbed my ass? ´ Juice now seemed horrified. ´The very one, so how were yours? ´ My face dropped ´Very anti-social´ I paused, and looked at Juice ´And, I nearly go raped´ I heard Steve gasp ´but don't worry! 'I quickly added ´A knight in shining black leather saved me´ I said, smiling at juice, and he smiled back. 'Would by chance this knight, own a black Harley? ´ Steve asked teasing, ´Yes Steve he does´ I sighed, he knew me so well. Juice seemed amused by are playful banter, ´He's actually sitting next to me right now´ I said, and Juice smiled ´Áha!, I knew it, you've already slept with him!´ My face went red, ´No, I haven't Steve, so you're not getting your five bucks yet´ Juice looked puzzled, I gave him a I'll tell you later face. ´How did you get this number anyway? ´

'I called the number you gave me, I ended up with Gemma, she told me you would probably be at the clubhouse so she gave me this number´ of course he did, I thought. ´Soo, I hear you're a biker chick now´ Juice smiled at the idea. ´Gemma right? ´ I heard him confirm ´Man! She can't keep her mouth shut around you, can she? ´ I heard him laugh ´Nobody but you can, Tanky' ´Tanky?' Juice asked slightly amused. I sighed and brought the phone to my chest ´Just a nickname' I explained.

´So, the toughest girl on the planet, how are you holding up in California´ He said California with a Spanish accent, it made me laugh. ´Pretty well Twiggy, how's the north looking? ´ He sighed, ´ Hey Steve, you're alright right? ´ I asked worried. ´Yeah, it just...´ he trailed off. ´Just what man? ´ I was impatient, a certain untamable quality of mine. ´It's Depp, he's not being that easy on me right now´ Depp was his stepdad; he had been for over a year now. ´What do you mean Booga?´ He sighed, ´He's pretty pissed with me right now, he wants me to quit the drums and get a real job, I think he just wants' me to move the hell out, so he can fuck my mother all he wants'.´ I was expecting this from Depp. ´Real job?, you mean like waiting tables, keeping books, and kissing somebody's ass?´ I asked, ´Yeah, I mean I think he's just going to nag me until I move out, but that's what he wants me to do´.

´I thought you were earning sweet, at the Chameleons?´ I asked him, he snorted in response, ´They don't even pay me half the time, and after you left people just, stopped coming´ he trailed off ´Oh´ I sighed, and looked at Juice. He was drinking yet another beer, ´You know what´ I said down the line ´I got a new gig´ I added, ´Really? In a small town like that? ´ ´It's in the next town down you imbecile´ I paused and looked at Juice ´I'm playing guitar, at a strip joint´ I heard him laughing. ´You serious? ´ He asked, I looked at Juice again, he seemed to be holding in hysterics. ´Yeah and I think I could get you a job there too´ Juice seemed shocked, he just looked at me, Steve seemed to have the same reaction. ´Really´ he asked ´Really´ I answered.

´I'll call Katie and ask her about it´ I told Steve, down the line, ´You seriously think, that I would drop all I have going on here and move in with you and your biker friends, again?´ He asked, and I could see the frustrated look on Juice's face. ´Yeah´ I answered, he paused, and ´You know me very well Tanky´ he laughed aloud, to Juice's surprise. But I wasn't surprised, I knew he wanted to get as far away from Depp, as he could, and Charming was very far away. ´So start looking for tickets, and I will get Gemma to setup some shit´ I could see Juice, he was wondering how the hell this all happened so quickly. ´OK Tank, talk to you in a bit´ I smiled ´Yeah, talk to you later´ he didn't hang-up, ´And tell hey to your biker friend for me´ I looked at Juice, he seemed amused ´I will doll, see ya´ he hung-up.

´You didn't tell me you had friends´ Juice said, he was smiling ´Friend, my best friend, only one friend´ I corrected him and he nodded. I went home to a very happy Gemma, apparently Steve had called her back after he got off the phone with me. She liked Steve, he had come to Charming once before, before Juice was even a hang-around. I eventually handled the shit with Katie, she had apparently not even interviewed any drummers, and she had found my offer very convenient. Steve called me that night, and we set everything up, he was coming on Sunday. He didn't understand the joke I had made about going to church that morning, he was an Atheist, and I was an Atheist.

I was on my way to the airport, when Tig had called me, he said that the dorm room plan had fell through, Steve had to stay in Jax's old bedroom . He liked Steve two, but he hadn't seen him since he was fourteen. I guess he had found it odd, a fourteen year-old boy, coming to stay with the girl that you saw as your own little sister. But he had seen how Steve had made me happy, and he didn't really mind, I mean he was no harm to anybody so why bother. I parked in an easy spot and looked in the mirror, I straightened my hair and checked my face. I got out of the car, locked the door, and walked to the giant glass building through the midday sun.

I paused once I got to the arrivals door, once I stepped inside I was hit with the signature amount of freezing cold air. I walked up to the waiting area, I straightened my black tank top, and it had a very large picture of a skull on it (see my profile for pics). After I had waited for a while it finally hit me, I was getting my life messed up, I mean how could Juice spend time with me when I had my... I paused and thought about it for a second, Steve was like...my soul mate, and together we made perfect sense. Are relationship was complicated, innouf without the fact that we had made-out on multiple occasion. I looked at the screen, the plane had already landed.

Steve wasn't one for waiting, so I wasn't surprised when he was the first one out. I looked at him, he looked back at me and smiled, I ran over to him and looped my arms around his neck. He hugged me very tightly as he obviously, took in my faint scent of gasoline, motor oil, and obviously lavender. He on the other hand smelled of cinnamon, apples, and coffee. He loosened up a bit then kissed me very close to the mouth, he hugged me again ´Missed you a lot´ he said and I giggled ´Missed you too much´ I answered and he giggled with me. I unconsciously kissed half his lip, and thought that we must have looked like a couple, standing here in the middle of the airport, pressed up against each other. He finally let go ´How was the flight ?´ I asked, he sighed ´Nothing that hours of Nirvana can't cure´ I smiled, He had his old backpack, and one suitcase with him. We walked out of the airport, into the sun. ´Man do I miss heat like this!´ he stated and I rolled my eyes as we walked over to the car.

´Nice parking´ he said as I opened the boot, ´If you like that, you've got to see me on a bike´ he put his case in the boot. ´Make any progress?´ I shrugged, as I closed the boot then locked it, ´You've got to see me, to understand´ he smiled, ´seriously, I mean Gemma said you were good´ I shrugged. ´She also said, that I'm going to go to prom´ he opened the passenger side and got in, I did the same and we shut the doors at the same time. ´What, nobody asked you to prom?´ he said sarcastically, ´They did but I didn't catch most of their names´ he laughed ´didn't your biker friend ask you?´ I started the engine ´Which one?´ I asked innocently and he sighed, ´You know´ he insisted. I shrugged ´The Latino, with the Mohawk´ I just looked at him blankly, as if I didn't know what the hell he was talking about. ´The one with the fucking lightning bolts on his head!´ he shouted as I backed up, ´Ahh...´ I paused, ´No´ I added flatly. ´I thought you liked him, I mean when you came back last year you couldn...´ I pointed at the small compartment, and changed the subject ´There should be some Nickelback in there´ I said and he sighed.

He eventually lightened up when we started singing along to 'FOLLOW YOU HOME' he was smiling and looking straight ahead, 'cause you're my Mississippi princess, my California queen´ we shouted in unison. The windows were wide open, the warm dry California breeze was flowing through them, blowing through my scarlet hair. Steve turned down the volume ´You look happy !´ he shouted at me, ´That's because I am!´ I shouted back at him.

We passed the Welcome to Charming sign, and Steve obviously had something sarcastic to say. I didn't answer him, and we eventually reached the house. When we got inside, Gemma was waiting in the kitchen, "Oh my God Steve, you've grown!" she said as he walked over to her and hugged her. I really wasn't surprised wither reaction, the last time she had seen Steve he was fourteen years-old, and five foot two. After they had done some catching up, she offered us a lift to the clubhouse.

She had to run some errands but she promised that she would cook a nice home-made meal, I was happy. Jax was sitting at the table outside, when he saw Steve his eyes widened, he got up and started at us. "Hey Blondie" Jax said, as he slapped Steve on the back "Back at'cha" Steve nodded at Jax and Jax laughed as he brought us up to the hall. Opie was standing there, he eyed up Steve, and shook his hand "Finally got that growth spurt I guess" he said and Steve smiled. Opie eyed him up again then let him in, he winked at me as I passed through the door, and I smiled back. I walked through the door before Steve, and the room seemed to go quiet when we entered, everybody was looking at me and the now obviously buff Steve. " Guy's this is Steve Twig" I said then gestured at Steve, he waved and they just kept on looking at him. I sighed "He's the guy that stopped me from committing suicide".

The room ringed with the sounds of ohh's and ahh's, Tig walked up and hugged Steve "Thanks for stopping her man" he said his face blank. Steve shrugged "I would've been just as destroyed as you" he answered and Tig let go of him, and then nodded. I guess I have to explain this part; I was suicidal for a couple of months before I had came to Charming. I attempted to overdose a couple of times, but each time I was unsuccessful. I eventually went to the park with some rope, I tied the knot then looped it around my neck, just as I was about to jump Steve came running. He told me if I was going to jump, I wouldn't even make the news, and that nobody but him and half the population of Charming was going to notice that I was gone. I said that I was going to go through with it; I told him that I didn't care. So he called Gemma from his cell. Gemma was calm with me, she didn't yell, all she did was tell me that I was going to be moving to Charming. I didn't like to talk about it, so when I arrived not a word was mentioned. The guys were grateful to Steve, if it had been anybody else, they wouldn't have stolen there stepfathers car and passed the speed limit. Although it couldn't be said that they respected him that much, I mean to them he looked just like a rich city kid. A couple of guys slapped him on the back; a couple just shook his hand. But when he saw Juice his eyes lit up, "You Juice?" he asked as he held out his hand. Juice shook it "Yeah, how did you know "Steve smiled and pointed at Juice's head "Your ink is kind of a giveaway" Juice smirked and let go of Steve's hand.

It wasn't long before Steve got offered a drink, he gladly accepted, and after one beer he was up for a game of pool. "You told him, and he did so, "So a biker ha?" I potted in my first ball and just looked at him. He raised his hands "You have good taste, I've got to give you that "I laughed, "So what, now your gay?" he rolled his eyes and missed the yellow he was aiming for."Bagged that blond from Accopulco's just the other week, I don't think that I've had a change in sexuality so quick"he said in defense. I shrugged and got another red in, "He's just like you described him, ink all over..." I caught him off guard and punched him in the arm "All this coming from a vanilla?" I asked and he smirked. I looked at where I had just punched him; right under the sleeve of his black t-shirt was a red leaf.

I just looked at him, "seriously!" my mouth dropped, "Look, I know we promised that we would get inked for the first time together he paused. "But I was uptown, I was drunk, and that damn Tommy was with me "he sighed "Then I woke up last Thursday morning with this on my arm, "I closed my mouth. H smiled "but you can't say that I didn't want you there with me" he pointed at the stem of the red leaf; he had on his upper left arm. I looked closer, right there on the edge of the stem were two initials. L & S it said, I smiled and all the stress disappeared from my face "Your stuck with me forever now' I said then smirked, he siled back. I looked behind me, I knew the guys were watching us but I didn't really care "Hey _! " I shouted, and he turned around "Yeah Red?' he asked. "You think you could give me a tattoo?" he smiled, "Sure, we'll get it done after your show "I gave him a look "How do you know about that" he chuckled "The whole town knows" he said. I looked back at Steve, " Looks like we have a bit of pressure on us"I said and he laughed.

After wiping the floor with Steve at pool, Juice came over to us ´You mind? ´ He asked as he took the queue off Steve, Steve handed it to him ´of course not´ he said smiling. He stood at the side of the table, as Juice gestured for me to break ´That the Canadian flag?´ Juice pointed at Steve's arm, Steve nodded ´That damn Tommy couldn't be more creative´ I laughed as Juice looked on confused. ´Half of Vancouver knows, how badly you handle your drink Booga´ Juice raised an eyebrow but Steve didn't notice.

´You still going to have that Guardian Angel, Tank? ´Steve asked me as he watched Juice pop in the yellow, I nodded and aimed at the red, it went in easily ´What is it with you two and names´ Juice said impatiently. Steve looked at me ´You bring the comics I left in your basement´ I asked Steve ´Top shelf? ´he questioned back and I nodded. He smiled ´Hell yeah, I had to pass through many layers of cobwebs to get them´ I looked at Juice ´I will explain, if you come-round tonight´ he smiled then nodded.

´Hey Tank?´ Steve shouted down the stairs, ´Yeah!´I shouted back up from the couch, ´Did you know that you left that old Sex-Pistols record, in Gene's convertible?´ I sighed as, he came down the stairs and sat by me. ´I didn't leave it, the bitch took it off me' he nodded, ´so, would you be happy if I found it´ He pulled the old record from behind his back and put it on the coffee table. I smiled ´You sly bastard, of course I would be happy´ I hugged him.

He hugged me back, and then went upstairs again. ´Lilith, you kids going to be OK while I go help out Clay? ´ Gemma asked as she walked into the kitchen. I got up of the sofa and walked over to her, ´Yeah´ I said then handed her the keys of the counter, ´Bye, sweetie´ she said as she kissed me on the cheek. After she left I heard Steve coming down the stairs, a cardboard box in his hands, I walked into the living room and sat on the couch. He put the box on the floor next to him, and then sat next to me.

´What days your prom ?´he asked as he turned the TV on, I shrugged ´Wednesday´ I answered as he went into the kitchen, ´He ask you yet ?´ I sighed ´Top drawer´ I stated and he came back into the living room with a pair of scissors in his hands. He knelt down next to the box, and cut the top of it, he looked up at me ´No´ I sighed. He shook his head, ´I mean I didn't know he was supposed to´ I said in defense ´It's all my fault´ he stated, as I slumped into the couch ´How so ?´ I asked. Steve rolled his eyes ´I shouldn't have come so soon´ I looked at him ´What?´I asked, he sighed ´I thought you liked him! ´ He said impatiently. Steve shook his head, ´You've got to be kidding me Tank, seriously you cannot deny this´ I sighed ´I'm not, denying anything Twig´ I paused ´It's just,... I don't know what to do´.

´Ofcourse you do, your making no sense now ´ he said, ´Forget it, were fighting now´ he sighed ´No, were not fighting, you have to at least try, or I'm going to have to tip him of´. My jaw dropped ´Don't you dare tell him that I like him, or I will pickle your fucking brain´ I said as I slapped him on the back of the head. He started laughing, then the doorbell rang, ´I'ts open Juice!' I shouted then gave Steve a look. Juice walked in his laptop under his arm, I smiled at him ´I didn't know that you knew that, Tank liked to write software´ Steve said and I gave him a look, ´She does?´ Juice asked, I shrugged ´I'm as surprised as you are´ I stated and he put the laptop on the coffee table.

/You have got to be kidding me !/ Juice said laughing, as he finished the first Tank Girl comic, /No way man, that Lilith's complete profile/ Steve told him./What she's an atheist, anarchist, alcoholic, kangaroo tapping, feminist, that happens to be the toughest girl on the planet./ I laughed /Not completely/ I said. Then I looked at Steve /you can't blame me for giving the public the wrong impression/ he said in defense /the public? / I asked raising my eyebrows. Juice was staring at me /Not my fault that the whole fucking school thought I was a whore/. /Umm, yeah it is/ Steve said and I punched him in the arm /You could've at least defended me/ I said, and he sighed /I would if you stopped punching me in the arm/ I raised my hands /Sorry man, anger-management didn't really help, and it's not like I can keep on boxing here/. /You boxed? /Juice asked smiling, /so that's, how you knew how to fight/ I shook my head, /I already knew that, just improved my skill that's all/.

It was now eleven pm, and I was sitting on the sofa Steve sleeping head in my lap, Juice was sitting on the floor his head leaning on my knees. Steve had fallen asleep half an hour ago, and to be serious I didn't really care, I was spending time with Juice. /Hey you missed a zero/ I said quietly, /Oh, right/ he whispered back, /Umm, Red can I ask you something ?/ he turned around and looked at me, I nodded. /Do you love him? / He asked then nodded at Steve, I stroked Steve's blond hair. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep, I never liked seeing him angry, and he eventually caught on to this, so he never got in to a fight in front of me. /Yes, very much so / Juice's expression seemed a bit hurt. /He was all I had, in Vancouver / I explained and he turned back to his work, /would you, help me get him to bed? / I asked innocently, I saw from the corner of his face that he cracked a smile. He shut-down his laptop and then put it on the coffee table, he got up and nodded at me, after we had hauled him into bed and he just kept on sleeping. I went down the stairs and noticed that Juice's cut was folded and placed on the edge of the couch. I sat down and he sat next to me, it wasn't late before I naturally sunk into him, he wrapped his arms around my now cold body. We debated on the genius of CSI as we watched a repeat, I heard the front door screech, and then I felt Juice's muscles stiffen /don't worry/ I whispered and he relaxed. I heard Gemma's high heels patter through the hallway, some heavy footsteps followed behind her.

I closed my eyes then slowly opened them as they walked into the room, I could see Clay's face, he was confused, wasted and kind of pissed, and he seemed especially pissed when he noticed that Juice was actually in the room. I saw Gemma calm him, she didn't seem pissed, she was probably going to tease me silly about this tomorrow but I didn't really care. / Be in bed by one/ she said smiling, then she took Clay upstairs. Juice stayed with me until quarter to then said that Gemma would cut his throat if he didn't leave, I had a shower, dried my hair, put on my long sleeve PJ's then went into the kitchen. I put the fluffy source of heat in the microwave and set it for two minutes, I heard somebody sigh, I turned around /you still have that heat problem? / Steve asked me, he wasn't looking at me he was looking at the floor.

/Always will/ I answered, we stood there in silence until he opened his mouth again /He likes you, I can see it/ I shrugged in response, we listened to the microwave as the plate inside turned around and around. Ping! I heard, and opened the microwave door, I took out the heat pack and looked at Steve /if he doesn't ask you, would you like me to take you to prom? / I smirked /is that an invitation? / I asked and he shook his head. /No Tank, It's a guarantee/.

/A corset? / I shouted at Katie as she looked at me, she had a wide grin on her face from the second she stepped in to the garage, she happily nodded. /Seriously?/ I asked the sarcasm thick in my tone, /Here's the address of a fetish store in Lodi where you can find one, and I want your list of songs on my desk by tonight/ My eyes were wide and my jaw had just dropped, did she just say fetish?, /And I want you to chose two from this list of songs, we have a sound synthesizer, your good looking Canadian friend can program it./ She shoved another list into my hands, she seemed to like lists. I pulled my fingers through my hair in frustration /so I guess you will be ready by tomorrow night, have a nice day/ and just like that she walked off.

/A corset/ I repeated, then sat down on the ground next to where Tig was working, he laughed then went back to tightening a screw /Hey, Tig?/ I asked, he kept on tightening the screw. /Yeah Doll-face ?/ he asked me still not looking at my face /Don't call me doll-face/ I answered still quite frustrated, /Why?/ he replied quickly /You don't like dolls, you're scared of them/ I stated and he shook his head. /I would be scared of you, even if I didn't call you doll-face/ I looked up at him /Why? / He shrugged in response. I looked at the floor then sighed /why don't guys like me? / My voice was low as my gaze. Tig turned around /Guy's don't like you ?/ he said his voice going higher at the end of the sentence, I nodded /You know the MC likes you/ he said and I shook my head /I mean,... Guy's Tig/ I paused /Why? / I added then pulled my fingers through my hair, /am I intimidating? / I asked as my frustration flooded back. Tig picked up a spanner /No you're not/ he said as he tried to improve my mood/ I sighed, /I must be but ugly then/. /Whoa girl slowdown, You are not ugly, you are the complete opposite, you are stunning and the red hair just adds to that, tenfold./ he paused, and put down his spanner, /The only reason guy's don't come on to you as much as those whores/ he gestured at the two sweet buts standing outside the clubhouse.

/Is because, you speak your mind and you don't take shit from nobody, that's not intimidating, that's being a decent woman who can defend herself,/ I smiled /Really?/ I asked and he nodded, /But that is not the reason I'm hiring security for you tomorrow night/ my face dropped /Security?/ he smirked /You are wearing a corset/ I sighed.


I looked at the blue wall building, the neon sign said 'Gerruchious' but I knew that it actually meant /the last place, I wanted to be on this planet/ I muttered then opened the door. There was a bleach blond woman sitting at the cashiers desk, she had bright red lenses, and was sporting a great amount of chain jewelry. /Hello darling/ she said, and I nodded with a smile, I walked over to a rack of leather /you need help doll? / She asked as she got up from her desk. I sighed /Yes/ I said and she smiled, she looked at me I didn't know why. I was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, and a black v-neck (photos available on my profile). /How old are you?/ she asked, her voice was sad /just turned eighteen/ she sighed /It's a shame, you girls start so young these days/ my eyes burst wide open /Look/ I said as I got her attention /All I need is a corset, my boss sent me here. She said if I wanted to play guitar at her strip club, I needed to show a little more skin/. The woman smiled as she led me over to a room full of corsets /Glad to hear that/ she said as she knelt down to check a shelf, she showed me a couple of black corsets /They make these special for your size/ I lifted an eyebrow /My size ?/ I asked curiously. She nodded /you know, flat stomach, curvy, not so top heavy/ I looked down at my body, as I doubted her observances, but she was right, that was me. She shoved a black one into my arms /this make is comfortable, go try it on/ she said then pointed at the dressing rooms.

I looked at the small alarm clock on my dressing table, it was half past seven, I sighed then looked back at my soaking wet hair, I squirted some mousse into my hands. I looked at it for a second; it probably wouldn't work but what the hell. I covered my hair with the product, then dried it with a hair drier as I scrunched it through my fingers. It worked, a large smile spread across my freshly showered face, as I stared at my wavy red hair I'm amazement, I next put the corset on It seemed to be a perfect fit. I stained my lips then used a little bit of sparkly black eye-shadow, I used eye-liner and a very unhealthy dose of mascara, two coats. I slipped on my black boots and looked at the leather jacket lying on the bed, I put it on and zipped it up, I strapped my guitar to my back very tightly and headed down the stairs. Gemma was waiting for me, her arms folded /Got your keys ?/ she asked, and I pulled out the set of keys from my jacket pocket, she nodded as she smiled /Stay away from trouble, oh and Steve's at the clubhouse waiting for you / I smiled /Bye Gemma/ I said and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

I could feel the butterflies in my stomach, I had always been a tomboy, I remember the first time that Steve had came to Charming. We were both fourteen, and we climbed trees, rode skateboards, and played hockey all summer long. Man! Did I miss being a kid, although my newly gained legally adult freedom, was about to grant me the best legal high in the world. I slowly climbed off the bike and let my hair fall in front of my face, I walked over to the picnic table and unstrapped my guitar, and I placed it on the table and then did the same with my jacket. I took a deep breath and walked over to the door.

Once I stepped inside the clubhouse, I was greeted with an outstanding amount of wolf-whistles; I couldn't help myself so I started laughing. Chibs came over to me and put his arm around my shoulders, /Let's get you a drink girl/ he said in his Scottish accent as he lead me over to the bar. I sat on a stool and Chibs sat next to me, he called at the prospect for a beer then he handed it to me, /Your not drinking?/ I asked him as I took a sip, he shook his head /Got some club shit early tomorrow morning, I've already had two/. I smiled back then caught a glimpse of Steve behind him, Chibs noticed this/ He's been here all afternoon, knows shit about bikes/ he stated and I laughed /he knows shit about a lot of stuff/ I said and Chibs winked at me. I picked up my beer and walked over to the couch Steve was sitting on; he was spinning a pair of drum-sticks in his hands. I stood in front of him, /Hey/ he said as he lifted his head /hey/ I answered and he put the drum-sticks down. I smiled and sat next to him, he put his head on my chest /I'm tired/ he said and I looked at him/ No your just nervous/ I said quietly and he sighed /I don't know why, I've done this like a hundred times/ I nodded /Me to, but I'm not nervous/ he sighed again /Yeah, but your you/ I laughed and took a sip of my beer then nodded.

/Kids you ready? / Tig shouted from the other side of the room /Yeah! / I shouted back as, I got up and headed for the door. I saw Juice standing next to the car /your chariot awaits/ he said bowing, I cracked a smile then said good-bye to Tig. I gave Steve my guitar, he unwillingly took it. I walked over to the car and jumped into the passenger seat, Juice started the engine as Steve climbed in the back, and I looked at Juice as we drove along. /You going with the guy are tomorrow morning? / I asked and he shook his head /staying behind to keep an eye on the prospects/ he said, /that's why Tig got you to watch me/ he nodded. /What's wrong with me watching you? /Steve asked from behind me, Juice sighed /This ain't Vancouver kid, if you go far innuf you could get yourself killed/ I looked at Steve's horrified face, then laughed at him /Don't worry Twig, your alright with me/ I said and he just looked at me /Seriously, I came all the way to the west-coast just to get killed? / He asked I shrugged /would you rather get killed up north? / I asked him and he didn't answer. I knew Juice had freaked him out on purpose, I actually found it kind of funny, and Steve was probably going to get wasted any way. So it would be good to have somebody, who would hopefully be sober, to talk to afterwards.


I could see people gathering around the stage, Juice had taken a seat in the back, and was scanning every person who passed by him very carefully. I had just finished tuning my guitar backstage, so I had wandered outside to check-out the stage. The walls in the club were deep red, the multiple mirrors that hung o the walls were framed with pitch black Victorian frames, and the pole in the middle of the stage was taken out. In it's place was a drum set and right up-front where I was going to be standing, was a microphone, I walked back to backstage. Steve was sitting down, a beer in his hand and a cigarette in his mouth. I took it out of his hand /Hey! / He shouted, as I put it out with my boot /No! / I said sternly and he sighed /sorry, it's just stress/ he explained. I cracked a smile /Grab your sticks, were on in five/ he smiled back.

/Best legal high in the world/ was the best way to explain what I felt while on-stage, after a couple of minutes on-stage, the club was packed; with metal-heads, Goths, punks, anarchists, and obviously bikers. I didn't care about the three hundred or so eyes watching me, I didn't care about how much money I was getting paid, I didn't even care about the fact that Juice was watching me play Guns N' Roses, while wearing a corset in a strip club and singing my heart out. All I cared about was that right now, at this very moment, I was happy. Just happy.

/I bet you didn't know, that she could move her hips like that/ Steve said to Juice, Steve was on his fourth beer, Juice smirked and shook his head /And I also bet, you didn't know that she could bend ninety degrees backwards either/ he told Juice again, this time he opened his eyes wide then nodded. The table was quiet for a bit /Bet you can't guess how many numbers I got tonight? / I threw into the middle, Steve put his fingers on his temples and concentrated /Twenty...six?/ he asked and I shook my head /Twenty-five/ I corrected him. Juice started laughing /What ?/ I asked my arms in the air, he shook his head /If Jax and Opie had been here, they would have beaten the shit out of those guys just for fun/ he was still laughing, I nodded and laughed with him. Steve put down his glass with a BANG! /OK, I'm done let's go!/ he said as he picked up my guitar and got up /It's still eleven man!/ I said shrugging, Juice looked at me /Still?/ he asked, and Steve sat down. /Remember when we broke into the school.../ Steve cut me off /Yeah and you messed up the school computer at three in the morning/ I smiled, /Got suspended for a week! / He said with me and he laughed.

/You guys seem to have had a life/ Juice said and Steve shrugged /We got sick of it, so we started playing music/ I smiled /You only got into the drums, because of anger management/ I corrected him, he shrugged again /So, I turned out alright, and anyway that's why you started boxing/ I glared at him. Juice looked at me /Boxing? / He asked, Steve put his arm around my shoulder /State champion/ he said and I blushed bright red, /really? / Juice asked pleasantly surprised, I nodded once. /Why did you stop? / He asked me, I shrugged /she was fast, very fast/ Steve explained and I glared at him again.

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I could feel the goose-bumps on my arms, a shiver ran up my spine, I was in the middle of a volatile storm and my hair was soaking wet. I gothic black gown I was wearing was weighing me down; I was on an old sixteenth-century ship, all I could see other than the dark violent waves was the ancient wood of the vesicle. I ran up the deck to get a better view, standing behind a giant wooded wheel was a man; the salt-water hell boiling around me was constricting me from identifying. I saw those deep-set eyes and knew it was Clay /Get under the deck! / He shouted at me and I obeyed his command, I landed with a thud! At the bottom of the old rotten ladder, Jax was there waiting for me. His blond hair was tangled and his eyes were filled with sorrow /Shit! You shouldn't be down here/ he said as he pulled his fingers through his hair, Chibs, Opie and Elvis were gathered behind him. They were kneeling on the ground, constricting my view of whatever it was they were looking at.

I ran and pushed them away, there lying down with a sword in his chest, was Tig. I started choking, I couldn't breathe, I tried so hard but I couldn't do the most natural thing to a human being, I couldn't breathe. I felt somebody tug my arm, I stayed put, and then I felt the same force that had tugged my arm, with unbelievable strength I was hauled up and into a cupboard. The door was shut but I could still see the person that was standing in front of me, was Happy. He had gone Nomad a couple of weeks before I arrived in town, how was he here? I noticed his body was pressed against mine, his deep brown eyes were filled with distress, /Shush / he whispered and I gulped /Tig? / I asked my voice shaking. He nodded once very sternly, as he carefully studied my face /But.../ I gasped and. He kissed me, and then pulled back, I looked up at him in utter shock, he kissed me again but his time I kissed back. I could feel the warmth of his lips on mine, as they slowly moved together in perfect motion. I felt the warmth go away, I was in a different room now, it was brightly lit and there were multiple vases filled with roses. I turned around and looked at myself in a full length mirror; I was wearing a white wedding dress. I started to scream with all the strength I had.


I knew I was screaming my lungs out, my throat was throbbing but I couldn't stop, the air was flowing out of my lungs as if it had not intention of coming back. I shot up, and noticed for once in my entire life, that I had screamed in a dream, or in this case nightmare, the covers on my bed were tossed on the floor. Jax flew through the door, a horrified look on his face, and a gun in his hand /What's wrong?/ he asked worried, I nodded in response without looking at him /Yeah... nightmare... that's all/ I choked out. He rubbed the back of his neck /you alright ?/ he asked, /Yeah/ I answered and he sighed /Last night good ?/ he asked, a tiny smirk on his face, I smiled /Yeah/. He turned around into the doorway /and, Gemma said lunch is ready/ he said then walked down the stairs. I jumped out of bed, and opened my closet, I picked out a pair of oh so worn black skinny jeans, I slipped them on then looked in my underwear drawer. I put on a turquoise bra, then decided on a tight fitting black tank-top, parts of the turquoise bra were visible from underneath the tank-top, personally I couldn't give a damn.

/That's your third candy bar today/ Steve said as he sighed, I gave him a look /I'm hungry! alright/ I said then went back to my staring at the midday sun. /You cannot be hungry after Gemma's lunch/ Steve said and I nodded, he sighed, and I watched Tig as he started draining the oil from a red ford. Cloud eventually started gathering around the pale blue sky, I got up and without a word, walked into the clubhouse. Inside it was rather bright, only a couple of guys hanging about here and there, I waked over to the bar, the prospect turned around and looked at me as I collapsed into the stool. He picked a glass up and wiped it with a tea-towel / Juice?/ he asked and I smiled /Yes please/ I answered as he first shook the bottle, then poured it into the glass in front of me. /Thanks/ I said smiling, he smiled back /Apparently your quite the celebrity/ he stated and I looked up at him, I raised an eyebrow /A couple of guys I know, went to your gig last night/ he explained, I raised my other eyebrow /They said that you were pretty good for a chick/ I dropped both my eyebrows. He sighed /OK, you got me... they said you were like the reincarnation of Jimmy Hendrix, only hotter/ I smirked, he raised his hand in defence /But don't you go getting all hot headed now!/ he warned and I laughed /Don't worry man, I wont/. He relaxed and went on polishing the glasses, I finished my juice and started talking to Chibs who had just sat next to me, I took a packet of crisps from behind the bar and headed out to the garage.

/Are you fucking pregnant ? / Tig asked as he was annoyed by my obsessive eating, I popped another piece of popcorn in my mouth and shook my head / I can assure you, that its positively impossible/ I answered, / Glad to know/ he said as he stopped infront of Gemma's. /Have fun at prom/ he said as I climbed out of the passenger seat, /Yeah/ I answered rather unenthusiastically, then he drove off.

I looked at the old clock on the wall, half past six it read, /must have dozed off/ I said to myself as I slowly got up, I eventually made my way up the stairs and into my bedroom. After I shut the door behind me, I noticed that the black dress was hanging on the back, /Pretty/ I thought as I took the soft fabric between my fingers, It would be a shame if I didn't wear it. I ran into the bathroom and had a shower, I then added in some leave-in conditioner and washed my face, I wrapped a towel around myself and walked into my room. I picked out some underwear and a push-up bra, after I put them on I added some mousse into my hair, I then used some pressed powder and eyeliner. I looked at the dress carefully before I slipped it on, it was a perfect fit !. I had to hand it to Gemma, she knew what I liked. After using two coats of mascara and going through the process of staining, balm, and adding lip-gloss to my lips I put the high heels on. I knew how to walk in them, as I was forced to do so every Sunday back in Vancouver /In order to look like a lady/ Gene would say as she dragged me out ıf the door, and into the cold street in a pair of horrible white pumps. The pair on my feet weren't so horrible, they were actually quite nice, but they were still heels, therefore I wasn't going to enjoy the end of the night when I would come back with sore feet.

I listened to Steve walking up the stairs, he was whistling a tune, a very cheer full tune. I sat on my bed and waited, sure enough he came through the door without knocking /Hey/ he said, I nodded in reply /You look nice/ he stated then looked out of the window. /Thanks/ I muttered, he looked at me /It's time to go, why aren't you down-stairs? /he asked and I shrugged /Why?/ I asked him back, /Umm... Gemma's kind of making a big deal about this/ he answered and I sighed /Never wanted her to/ I stated. He looked at me, out of the blue his expression dramatically changed /I will be back / he said, then he ran down the stairs, a couple of minuets later I heard some-one climbing the stairs, all I could recordnise were the boots, the big black biker boots.

I saw a boot create a gap between the door and the wall, then the second boot followed as Juice placed himself in the doorway, he looked at me, he looked at the dress, he looked at the heels /Prom ?/ he asked his voice calm, /Yeah/ I answered, he smirked /Steve said he hates proms/I nodded / He does/ I answered, Juice sucked in a breath /Do you, hate proms ?/ he asked and I shrugged in response. He smirked /Mind if, I take you then? / he asked, I smiled /No, actually I wouldn't mind / I answered and he smiled back. So here I was, sitting on my bed with Juice standing in front of me, and if I was not mistaken he was asking to got to prom with me.

I wasn't going climb on a bike while I was wearing heels, so the nicest car at T-M that had magically appeared in the drive-way had to do. I didn't know how all this had came about in the last twenty minuets, but Gemma's plan seemed to have been working, I was going to prom, willingly. I knew that Steve had something to do with this, maybe he had egged Juice on, or maybe he forced him to do what he wanted to do, either way I didn't really care. Because now, I was sitting in the passenger seat with Juice by my side. I looked at him, he wasn't exactly dressed for prom in his dark gray cargo pants. They hung low on his waist, his plain tight fitting black t-shirt overlapping slightly with the gray fabric, he was obviously wearing his cut, I mean the Son's never took them off did they ?. My mind was buzzing with questions I wanted to ask, and conversations I wanted to have, but it was too late we had already arrived at the school.

The entrance of the hall was decked with white and pink roses, the small arch framing the door was covered with them, I was overwhelmed with the sweet sweet sent they were giving off. We were late and people had already started slow dancing, Juice had dropped me off on the sidewalk as he found a place to park, people were looking at me again. I guess this time it was in a good way, the girls seemed to be in utter bliss and the guys they were with seemed less annoyed with them than they did at school, so yeah this all seemed good. I looked at the girls that were staring at me in a good way, they were all wearing long pastel and white colored dresses, there seemed to be a theme here. The guys had small roses implanted into the pockets of their tux jackets, the corsages the girls had were all roses as well, I looked out of place here and that was the way I liked it.

I heard heavy foot-steps coming from behind me, as I just stood there, I didn't have to turn around, all I did was just stand there as Juice walked up behind me, he put his arm around my shoulders and walked me into the hall. The flash of the camera was blinding, I knew that Gemma would frame this picture even if she wasn't going to hang it up, she would still frame it to signify its apparent importance. Juice's 5.11 height seemed to tower above my now 5.6, he looked strong, he had the /I would torture then kill you if you mess with my girl/ look on his face, and this look was passing on like a message to every other guy in the room, his message was being heard loud and clear. I saw people staring at us, I knew what they were thinking /God, what they said about her was true. Fucking biker whore/ or there was another one, that went a little bit like/OMG, the guy she's with is like, soooo hot but she just looks like, like a total weirdo/ I could hear the annoying voices in my head too clearly. I guess Juice noticed how uncomfortable I was in the stuffy hall /you want to go out back/ he asked as he looked at me, I nodded once in responce, for some reason I was finding the worst time to be shy. He lowered his hand to my waist and looked straight ahead as we zigzagged passed the different groups of people, untill we finally got to the back garden. There was a gazebo in the middle of the green, neatly cut lawn, there were white and pink rose bushes growing up the length of it, it looked like it was created by fairies or some other magical creature.

I listened carefully as -Madness-by Allanis Morisette- started playing, Juice took me by the hand and led me up on to the gazebo. He placed his hands on my hips and I looped my arms around his neck, the space between us was covered very shortly, I placed my chin on his shoulder and breathed in his comforting sent off; dust, tobacco, cinnamon, and burnt-out electrical wires. I heard him sigh so I pulled away /What's wrong ?/ I asked and he grinned slightly /Nothing .../ he answered then paused /It's just, Clay's going to give me shit for this/ I giggled slightly and he smiled in response. /I'm happy you asked me/ I said as he pulled me back to him /Why?/ he asked as I placed my chin on his shoulder again /If you didn't, I would have to come with Steve/ I answered, he shrugged /What's wrong with that ?/ he asked and I sighed /He doesn't like dancing/ I stated. /Do you?/ he asked genuinely, I smiled /A decade of ballet lessons kind of, wears off on you/ he turned his head towards mine /Really ?/ he asked, the sarcasm thick in his voice, I laughed as I executed a perfect pirouette as evidence, he seemed impressed.

After the last song we headed over to the car, /Gemma won't be expecting us home until ten, what do you want to do/ Juice asked as he opened the passenger door for me, I shrugged and I could see a grin spread across his face /Your not usually indecisive/ he said, then paused /You want to go get dinner, there's this place outside town that I know, and.../ He trailed off as he started the engine. I shrugged again /sure/ I answered.

/... and apple pie/ Juice told the waitress, as she wrote in her little notebook /Coming right up/ she answered then left the table /You remembered/ I stated and he smiled at me /I remember a lot of things/ he said as the waitress came back with two cups of coffee, I nodded at her then, took a sip after she went back from where she hailed. /I see you are addicted to caffeine/ Juice stated as he took a sip of his coffee /I don't think you have the right to say that/ I answered as I gestured at his mug. He smirked an unbelievably wonderful smirk, the neon lights did nothing to overshadow his caramel skin and chocolate eyes, he seemed to light up any space he was in, without even trying. I knew that everything always had a reason, but my fondness of Juice seemed to be lacking any amount of reason, within the boundaries of sanity. I slowly melted into his eyes as I watched him watch me, he slowly leaned forward I responded by staying still and not moving a muscle, inviting him in. He kissed me; it was sweet and short, kind of like a tiny piece of apple pie. I smiled at him as he pulled back, and he smiled back.

/Here's her, picture/ I said then handed Bobby a picture of my mother, he took it then placed it next to the rough sketch he was working on, I watched him as he naturally made the beautiful face-less angel look exactly like the woman who gave birth to me. /Color?/ he asked me as he looked up at me, I nodded /Red hair, dark blue eyes, white wings and the rest black and white/ He carefully added the shading, and it looked perfect. He handed me the piece of paper, a hopeful look in his eyes /it's Wonderful/ I said and a wide smile spread across my face, /what's this? / Tig asked as he walked over to us, I handed him the piece of paper when he looked at it he smiled /I'm going to have it inked on my back/ he smiled at me /you did good on this one Bobby/ he added and Bobby bowed in appreciation.

I drank the last of my beer and looked over to Bobby, he was cleaning his equipment /Ready when you are/ I said and he nodded, I went into the bathroom and locked myself in a cubicle. I took off the shirt and tank-top I was wearing, being left with my black bra, I thought of an idea, I put my shirt on backwards and folded up the sleeves, after all I had to be at least a little bit shameful. I unlocked the door and headed next to Bobby /Smart Chick/ he said noticing my efforts, I sat backwards in the chair next to him, I folded my arms under my chin and waited patiently as Bobby prepared the stencil. I was going to be pissed if Steve didn't show up; I mean he promised didn't he? I heard a car pull up and gave out a sigh of relief. The door burst open and Steve ran in /Shit! I'm sorry; I really am, sorry... shit! / He stammered as he hurried over to my side, the picture next to Bobby caught his eye /she was pretty/ he said as he commented on my mother's appearance. /Yeah? / I asked and he nodded once. Bobby looked at me /You think you could... / he was cut off by Steve undoing the clasp of my bra, I gave him a look /What ?/ he asked raising his arms up in defense /You seem to have a lot of experience/ I said sarcastically, he shrugged and Bobby stuck the stencil on the left side of my back.

To my surprise the pain wasn't unbearable, it was just painful enough that I could enjoy it, I know that sounds psycho but that really was how I felt, I mean I didn't know until now that pain could be enjoyable. Although love is extremely enjoyable or at-least that's what I hear, and in the end it always turns out as pain, extremely enjoyable, ever-so fantastic, wonderful pain. /You're not bleeding yet/ Bobby said and I smiled at him /Good ?/ I asked smiling, he chuckled /Yeah/ he answered, /Already halfway through the shading ?/ Tig asked, he had been sitting there for the last half hour, watching my oddly calm impression, and marveling at the piece of art, that was now covering the whole left side of my back. Steve came back with three cans of beer, he obediently handed one to Tig and then looked at my back /you would need something to loosen you up some more/ he stated, then handed me a beer /OK/ I said as I gladly accepted his peace offering for being late. I heard the door open /Holy shit red!, that's some serious ink/ somebody who was obviously Jax said as he walked over to me, only he would know to distract Bobby when he was leaving a indelible mark on me, /Thanks/ I said as I looked up at him, he was carefully studying my back, his blond hair tangled as it always was, I remembered he would let me brush it when I was little, now that I think of it , it must have been very painful.

Opie followed close on Jax's tail /Nice/ was all he said, then he walked over to the pool table with Jax, it had been three hours since I had first sat in the chair, Bobby was exhausted and so was I. Him, Steve and Tig kept talking to me, it was supposed to keep the pain on the down low, although I wasn't really sure. /I heard about your show/ Tig stated non-randomly /Really?/ I asked and he smirked /Yeah, umm… people say that you and pretty boy here are pretty fucking good/ Steve looked at him shocked /Me ?/ he asked Tig /don't flatter yourself/ he answered then looked at me, completely ignoring Steve in the process. /You alright with it? / I asked Tig slightly worried /Of course, I mean you like it don't you? / He sounded a little worried /Yes Tig, very much so/ he nodded /good/ he answered then drank some more of his beer.

I felt oddly calm, although the sound of upcoming Harley's didn't help, it didn't exactly pull me out of my extreme trance, I did know something that would though. /Sweet Heavens! That's gorgeous!/ Juice said the second he walked through the door, I smirked, this really wasn't happening was it? /What the tat, or Baby Red?/ Jax said a slight taste of threat in his voice, Baby Red? I really hoped that wouldn't catch on, Juice laughed a very Juice like laugh then came next to me /you're nearly done? / He asked and Bobby looked up at him /you mean me? yeah I'll be finished in five minutes/ he said as he wiped his brow.

/Finished! / Bobby said the relief apparent in his voice, he wiped my back with something cold, then handed me a mirror /Go look in the bathroom/ he instructed me while nodding in the direction I was supposed to go. I slowly got up, walked into the bathroom and took off my shirt; I turned around and held the smaller mirror up. That's when I saw the dark blue eyes of my mother, she was looking at the right side of my back, her long wavy red hair was halfway down her back, draped lightly over her majestic white wings, every feather carefully detailed. Bobby really did good on this one!. I put on my tank-top and shirt, my back was sore, but enough for me to bear. I walked into the main room, then headed in Bobby's direction over to the bar /The redness will go away in a couple of days.../ Bobby explained and I hugged him, he hugged me back, carefully trying not to touch the left side of my back /Thanks / I said smiling, he smiled back /Least I could do, you waited two years didn't you? / I nodded /Good thing too, you might have had some meaningless shit on your skin if you didn't/ he said and I smirked.

I have always loved Steve, ever since the day I met him, although the circumstances that I had met him in were quite unusual. It was my first day of junior high; I was completely depressed, why? You may ask; well, I ain't exactly the most cheerful of person on the planet, I can't call myself positive or negative, neither can I label myself as, well... anything. As you may have already understood, I don't exactly "fit- in" with the crowd, I never wanted to but I guess Steve didn't either, so guess it was fate that I was the first one off the bus when he got hit by it. Yes that's right, on the first day of school Steve got hit by a bus, my bus, and for the next couple of years it would be our bus. I was sitting on a window seat that cold Canadian morning, I was wearing my headphones, the amazing voice of Sarah McLachlan was flowing through my ears, and I was distracted in my own little world. Then I flew forward, my head hit the seat in front of me violently, I heard the driver shout something, and being myself I thought it better to walk to school rather than endure the hectic events that were about to follow. I got off the bus and there sitting in the street was a boy, a blond boy with headphones in his ears, in front of him was a BMX bike, it was wrecked but he seemed to be alright, he was calmly scrolling through the list of songs on his I-pod. I walked up to him, he looked at me then at the driver that had followed me out of the bus, /Sorry Man, didn't mean to scare you/ he said as the driver looked at the messed up bike /It's alright, only ride it because I can't ride a skateboard/ he said and the bus driver helped him haul the messed up bike up to the curve. I walked to school that day, I walked to school with Steve, the first thing he did while we headed up the steep track was check my I-pod, he handed his over to me and I did the same.

The Son's didn't quite understand are relationship, and they didn't need to, all they needed to know was that Steve kept me safe and happy, that is if he wasn't wasted, which seemed to happen a lot. He wasn't an outcast like me; he could have been school president, captain of the football team, anything he wanted. But he didn't. I'm not exactly sure why, he said that he didn't want to give in to the ideas and visions that people had for him, or he was just damn crazy, I mean why me?.

I opened my eyes, the window next to me wasn't letting in the usual amount of frying pan heat, the sun had just started to rise, it was dawn. For some reason I wasn't tired, I slowly rose up and walked down the stairs and into the back garden. Steve was sitting on a deck chair and watching the sunrise; he noticed me standing beside him and patted on the chair next to him. I sat down and watched the golden ball of fire with him, /what are you going to do today? / He asked as he kept on staring at the sun, I shrugged in response and he sighed.

It was funny how time passed so quickly, it was already Tuesday morning and Steve was pissed at me. I was guilty mind, I mean I did read his book of songs; it wasn't exactly reading it was more like I glanced at a couple of notes and lyrics. I picked up my guitar and walked over to the closed door of his room, I sat down cross legged and started to strum. This was after all the only way I could win him back; I opened my mouth and let the words fly through.

Hey Stephen, I know looks can be deceiving
But I know I saw a light in you
And as we walked we were talking
I didn't say half the things I wanted to

Of all the girls tossing rocks at your window
I'll be the one waiting there even when it's cold
Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing
I don't always have to be alone

'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help it if I want to kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
Mmm, I can't help myself

Hey Stephen, I've been holding back this feeling
So I got some things to say to you
I've seen it all, so I thought
But I never seen nobody shine the way you do

The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name
It's beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change
Hey Stephen, why are people always leaving?
I think you and I should stay the same

'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help it if I want to kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
Mmm, I can't help myself

They're dimming the street lights, you're perfect for me
Why aren't you here tonight?
I'm waiting alone now, so come on and come out
And pull me near and shine, shine, shine

Hey Stephen, I could give you fifty reasons
Why I should be the one you choose
All those other girls, well, they're beautiful
But would they write a song for you?

I can't help it if you look like an angel
Can't help it if I want to kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
Mmm, I can't help myself

If you look like an angel
Can't help it if I want to kiss you in the rain so
Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you
Can't help it if there's no one else
Mmm, I can't help myself

Myself
Can't help myself
I can't help myself

I knew it was a cheesy song, and that it wasn't that original to do, but I knew he liked it even though I really didn't. I heard the door knob rattle so I got up, Steve walked through the door and crossed his arms /I'm sorry/ I said trying to make my voice as innocent as possible, he sighed /I know/he answered and I pulled him into a hug. /You want us to do one of your songs tonight? / I asked him as I pulled back, he smiled then nodded once.

I could see Juice from the corner of my eye, he was practically murdering the old laptop in his hands or that was all I could tell from the sounds it was making. He had kissed me another four times since prom night; we were kind of stuck in a time bubble, never going any further. I would be scared to go any further, I think he knew that, or maybe Steve just told him. I continued tuning my guitar as Tig walked inside the clubhouse, he looked at me then walked over to the bar, he got a drink then headed over to me. Morning/ I said a bit over cheerfully as he sat next to me, he smirked /you don't usually wake up until lunch time/ he stated, I shrugged in response /just felt like waking up early/ I told him. He took a sip of his drink /Got a gig tonight?/ he asked gesturing at my guitar, I nodded /got a couple of new tracks ready to try out./ I answered, and he smirked /heard there's going to be quite the crowd, mind if I come?/ he asked. I smiled /course not, I'd love it/ I answered and he smiled back.

The sweat on my forehead trickled down my cheeks, as we finished the last song of the night; it was one of Steve's. Tig was watching me from the back of the room, he seemed to be pleased with my taste in music, I guess any Son would be pleased with Guns n' Roses. /Goodnight! / I shouted then ran off stage, Steve was close on my tail, I ran a towel over my face then wiped the back of my neck. Steve threw his drum-sticks across the room and they disappeared behind the couch, I shot him a look but he ignored me, I let out a heavy sigh and was greeted with a wide smile by Tig. /So...? / I asked him /you're worth a million bucks kid/ he answered smirking, I heard a knock from the door behind him. /It's open! / I shouted and the door slammed wide open, standing on the other side was a man in his late forties, he had long dark scruffy hair and not so intimidating gray eyes. He looked at me then at Steve /The band? / He asked needlessly /Yeah.../ I answered him, he pulled a card out of his leather jacket /you guys got an agent? / He asked as he twirled the card in his fingers. I looked at Tig then at Steve, they stared back at me blankly /Umm...not exactly, but/ the guy shoved his card on my hand /Not buts, come by my office tomorrow, we'll set you up with somebody/ and just like that the man walked out of the door. I turned around and looked at Steve, his jaw had dropped and his eyes were wide, I think my expression matched his /Hell no!/ he yelled smiling /Hell Yeah!/ I yelled back as I grinned widely, I ran over to him and looped my arms around his neck once again, he wrapped his arms around my waist tightly and I kissed him on the cheek, he pulled back /Were going to get sighed/ he stated his eyes wide, I nodded then kissed him on the cheek again.

It was all happening so quick; Mr. Jean being hired as our agent, being signed on to Virgin Records, being given a jar full of guitar picks (they were from Mr. Jean, he told me to play until my hands bled and my wrist snapped, so I was going to break a lot of guitar picks in the process). We had to come up with a band name, which we hadn't done yet.

/We need a signature! / Mr. Jean said as he pulled his fingers through his blue Mohawk, /something that we could be identified by/ he added then looked at Steve annoyed, he was sitting at Mr. Jeans's desk and tapping a random beat with his fingers. /Anything? / Mr. Jean asked Steve and Steve shrugged, Mr. Jean sighed then looked at me, he circled around me a couple of times then grinned /AHA!/ he shouted his voice exited. /What? / I asked him and he put his hand on my shoulder /what do you think about angel wings? / I gave him a look, /Huge white angel wings, nobody had done that/ he said and I gave him another look /They have to be black/ I answered my face resembling steel, the man shrugged /Whatever you kids want, but I'm telling you are going to love the consciences/. Steve stopped tapping and looked at me; he smiled obviously agreeing with the idea. Mr. Jean looked at Steve /and you, will have wings on your drum kit/ he stated.

I looked at my aunt Gemma, she looked as if she was going to have a breakdown, her eyes were about to tear-up, I hugged her once again /I love you Darling, you remember that/ she paused then pulled away /You be a good girl now, ok?/ she said half smiling, I nodded /I will, I'll miss you though/ she pulled me in /I love you/ I said to her, she let go and I jumped into the car next to Steve. I waved goodbye to her as we pulled out of the house that had been my home for the last couple of months, /you going to be ok? / Steve asked me as he drove the Car to T-M, I shrugged /Sure, I mean we got signed right?/ he grinned /Yes we did/ he answered, then held my hand as we pulled in front of the Clubhouse. I climbed out of the passenger side and walked over to the door; I stood there for a second and took in a deep breath, like the night of my first show.

I walked in and as I did I was met with an immediate /Hey/ by Jax, I smiled at him /Hey/ I answered and looked around the room. They were all there, clever bastards knew I wanted to say goodbye, I smiled at the thought and walked over to the pool table where Tig and Chibs were playing. /Well isn't it the big rock star/ Tig said as he gave up the game to hug me, Chibs smiled at me just like everybody else in the building would in a couple of minutes.

I walked around the room saying goodbye to everybody I could see, I was always met with a hug and maybe a kiss on the cheek, I wandered aimlessly into the dorms to find anybody I might have forgot, but I knew the person I was looking for was, Juice. I found him leaning on the doorway, he straightened up once he saw me, then smiled /Your going/ he said, it was not a question /I'm going/ I repeated, he looked at the floor. /I'm sorry/ I said then paused, he looked up /for what?/ he asked /I didn't want to leave this halfway/ he smiled /I know he stated then brushed a piece of hair out of my face. He held my shin between his thumb and forefinger /this one's for the road/ he said sweetly then he kissed me, I kissed back and just like every event before this he pulled back before it went too far. He held me I his arms and I breathed in his familiar and comforting sent /Goodbye/ I said as I pulled back, /Yeah/ he answered then watched me walk-out. Now I was on my way to L.A, to start a career, to begin the rest of my life.

Impressum

Texte: Pictures belong to users of DeviantArt, all I own are my original story lines and characters, the rest belong to the wonderful Kurt Stutter.
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 28.03.2011

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To someone very dear to me, yes "F" that means you.