chapter one
Among girls and frills, I sat waiting for my mother to come out of the room where the nursemaids told the parents if their child was a Victor or not. Victors were children born with specialties that the normal citizens didn’t have. At this moment they were checking the daughters of any higher up parents at the age of 2 through 6. Being the daughter of the Leader of the House of Lords made no exception to me if I were a Victor. The law was that any Victors had to go to the king or queen to be of use to them, kind of like tools. The specialties that some are born with can be of use of the king or queen and some have no use to them and are shunned. Looking around the room I noticed how much I stood out among the frills. My dress I wore was a mint green but was silk with no frills or bows, or whatever the girls in the room wore. From the moment I took a foot into the waiting room I realized that the girls were used to being dressed up and beautified. It annoyed me, but I knew that there was nothing I could do about it. For a five year old I was told that I acted to mature for my age. Never complaining or arguing, but I had a thing in my mind that always stopped me from saying any of those types of words in the end I still thought them. One by one the mothers started to come out, most with a relief sigh and calm look, but 3 out of the 37 mothers were devastated. Those three had Victors, and my mother was one of them. She looked at me for a second fighting herself from tears or from anger, maybe even annoyance of this burden. She got on her knees in front of me while biting her lip.
“Do you know, what your specialty is,” she asked as calm and softly as she could. Tears wield up in her eyes as I found that I could also cry knowing that I was different in more than just one way.
“I…don’t,” I answered with deep breathes to quickly stop crying, because my tears weren’t needed. My mother responded by her hands finding her temples and rubbing them continuously as it would give her a small amount of peace. Her expression soon turned emotionless.
“We need to go home to your father, then start finding out your specialty.” Nothing more was said after that until we reached my father. The Leader of the House of Lords was used to hiding his emotions, even at home where we were. I honestly couldn’t tell if I was loved by my father because of his emotionless mask, but after my mother told him the news I started to believe he did love me.
“Kathryn is it true,” he croaked, his lament was louder than the words he asked. I couldn’t look my father in the eyes because if he knew the answer I feared he would have a hard time getting his emotionless mask back which I preferred at the moment. I’d rather not know his emotions than see him hurt.
“Yes, Father, I’m sorry,” I replied while adverting my eyes to anything that wasn’t my father or mother. I didn’t want this, but then again any Victor didn’t want this. We all sat down in the living room where the servants started gathering after my father called them. It was unusual, his behavior, he would never call his servants into the living room, on occasions one or two them could enter because he wanted to have a beverage or something. After a few seconds of thinking I realized why he called them into the living room, it was so he could explain to them about me being a Victor, but not knowing my specialty. He would probably order them to find out what it is. And he did, after all that was in the mansion gathered he said the words I knew would come out of his mouth. The servants whispered around, anything having to do with Victors came out of their mouths. For some odd reason every one of the servants that have talked to me have liked me. I hadn’t known if it was because of my personality or my position, but today, like how I found out about my father loving me, I soon discovered that they did like me for who I was and they were sorry that I was a Victor leaving them to go to the castle soon.
“Please do not harm my daughter while doing so,” my mother added soon after the whispers died down and they were listening. I couldn’t even comprehend it myself, what specialty could I possibly have. The servants tried everything to bring out my specialty. Things like putting me on a horse, some Victors can manage anything as long as it has to do with animals, but that was ruled off, then they tried giving me a knife and food. The chef nearly choked on the food, it was an obvious no, after that mistake they decided not to try anything out on the servants or anything living. They took me to the range were archers practiced and guards learnt how to shoot. They gave me the bow and arrow and told me to shoot, and I did, but it shot pass the dummy and by chance pinned a guard to the wall behind the targets. The servants who were involved in taken me there were all dumbfounded, and then one spoke up.
“Maybe her specialty is being prone to mistakes.” Everyone smiled and laughed releasing the heavy atmosphere of almost injuring someone.
“I wish she could shot a bow and arrow correct at the target and not the guards,” Hilda said, striking my mind somehow. I took another arrow and aimed thinking of her statement, letting the weird energy inside of me flow I release the arrow sending it flying into the middle of the target dummy. They all turned to me astonished, and mostly confused.
After another day of simple things and packing, the specialty I had became clear. I could grant wishes that were humanly possible. My mother was relieved to hear my specialty was something that wouldn’t cause harm to anyone or myself. But at that time neither my mother nor I knew that my specialty would be manipulated into something that would be scarier than the king himself.
Thirteen years later.
Every wish I was ever told grant has been humanly possible, and because it’s my specialty I can’t refuse to grant any of those wishes. This wish I’m going to grant is one of those I wish I didn’t have to. The king turned me into his collector, in a sort of way. If he needs someone to pay back money they didn’t pay he sends me, and since he wished for me to kill a few people I have a rumor going around I’m a Victor with the specialty to kill, knowing my specialty none of the payments are refused once I get there. Right now I was on my way to Lord Sander who had forgotten to pay the king for some unknown reason; it was the Kings wish that I would hurt him if he admitted to not paying it for any reason. Personally I had no reason to hurt him and hoped I wouldn’t have to, but it was the Kings wish, something I couldn’t him but grant.
“Lady Kathryn is something bothering you,” Mark, another Victor who came with me on missions, asked while starring at my tight and painful grip on the horses reins. To carry out the Kings wishes I went through a lot of training, such as horse riding. Refocusing on the path, I simply nodded his question away. Although we have always gone on these missions together I still haven’t fully came to trust Mark, and it was because he agreed with the King. Mark is the King’s nephew who was born as a Victor with the specialty of being able to tell if someone can lie or tell the truth. Looking at the path once again I noticed the mansion noting that we were almost there.
“A few more minutes of riding then we should get off and walk to the mansion,” I stated without any emotion or thoughts with it. No matter how much I want to disobey and not grant this wish, I have to it’s my specialty, and if I don’t be useful to the King he will kill me, somehow. Getting off the horse I named Mandy, I started walking to the mansion straight for the door instead of the weird sneaky ways people usually get into the house when they’re Victors. Mark knocked on the door then it creaked open very cautiously. With the door open both Mark and I followed Lord Sander into the house. Once we were in his living room my eyes opened in surprise. The two people I long to see most, but knew I also shouldn’t see most, sat before me on Lord Sander’s couch. My eyes blurred, but I didn’t cry. I was the Heartless Lady Kathryn, I couldn’t.
“Why,” I cried, happy to see that they were well, but horrified that they also would have to see what the king made me become. My eyebrows squinted as I frowned. The misery was readable on my pale face.
“I didn’t pay on purpose so I could reunite you and your parents Lady Kathryn,” Lord Sander explained with this hopeful light in his voice. The exact thing I didn’t want to hear. It only broke me down, now I have to hurt him, and I would hate it even more so then I did before all because he did a good deed.
“You still need to pay and Lady Kathryn has to inflict pain on you, no matter the reason,” Mark said matter-of-factly. My eyes burned and my heart felt as if it was being pulled and ripped, all of this was because he was such an admirable person. Lord Sander gathered the money he needed to pay the fee and handed it to Mark. My eyes shifted from my parents to Lord Sander then to Mark.
“Mark will you excuse us for a moment, I will grant the wish the king told me, without a second thought but will you leave,” I insisted, with my own motive that wasn’t going to be told to the king. Mark was at a higher status than me, but he still listened to me and left. My parents stood up at the exact same moment as the door shut. They made their way to me even knowing how many people I killed and how much shame I put on my name because of obeying the king. Their hugs slowly melted the large amount of ice that slowly grew cold surrounding my heart and thoughts.
“Lady Kathryn, you still have to punish me, I will not make you go back on your word,” Lord Sander said while holding out a knife that would cut anything. Without a word I shook my head and smiled at him, giving him my thanks.
“Kathryn, just know we love you no matter what you’ve done or who you’ve killed,” my mother acknowledged me, with a smile I never seen her wear, but then again I haven’t seen many of her smiles since that day she found out I was a Victor. Putting on a mask I tried both not to smile and not to cry. The surge of emotions left me filled with energy, instead of my emptiness I usually feel after the King talks to me. Why did they have to come now, why do they have to see what I do. Such a horrid thing in front of my parents, the only people who ever loved me before and now. With a forced smile I stepped back away from them and towards Lord Sander. Taking his hand gently and slowly, I could only think of small ways to inflict harm on him.
“You’re right; I can’t go back on my word. Please forgive me, you allowed me to feel something I haven’t in a very long time. Even so, this may hurt a little,” I told him in a serious tone with my expressionless mask again. With shaky hands I snapped his pinky, although it is all my heart could let me do, my mind told me the king wouldn’t be satisfied. This time around I wouldn’t give in. I knew that from this moment on nothing but hell could come my way with my thinking. Seeing my parents like this; nervous and still loving me, and Lord Sander holding back painful sobs, I felt that it was the only thing I could do. Disobey. It wasn’t right that disobeying the king was all that came to mind, but it was the thing I felt I had to do, I must do. With all that figured out, I still didn’t understand how I would do it, but now wasn’t the time to think about that. Unknowingly my eyes began to water. Squeezing them shut then opening them I came to see a new light, Mark had opened the door.
“Lady Kathryn, it’s time to go,” he informed with a stringent tone. I suppose he also realized I wasn’t going to hurt him anymore than I already have. Before stepping out of the house I gave them a small wave, unable to do any more than that. Although it was a silent ride back to the kingdom, I could feel Mark gaze on me whenever he turned to look. I could feel the shame he had, he knew the king wouldn’t like these, but then again so did I.
chapter two
After hearing the report the king called for me. Mark certainly told the whole truth; after all it was also part of his specialty. I don’t blame him, because he is just doing what he was asked to do when I didn't. Taking a huge breath of air I cleared my mind and thoughts. Walking into the throne room I set my eyes straight not looking around at the numerous amounts of guards. I had a feeling the king thought I was going to rebel and hurt him, but although I am going to rebel I don’t intend to hurt him. I stood before the king with an alarmed mind while he sat with fury taking shape of rays pointing at me or at least that’s what my mind saw. He didn’t say anything he just smirked and gestured for two of his guards to come closer. It wasn’t the guards that scared me, it was the silence. I imagined screaming, yelling, and a riot, but instead I got a smirk and deadly silence.
“Kathryn, my dear, you are just merely a tool I use to get the money I need and kill off the people I don’t. Do you dare defy me,” he questioned, but not in a mad roar just a dark malicious edge. Dark and malicious seemed to fit this malevolent king the most. The words he said wouldn’t have been as obscure if he hadn’t used such a tone of voice. I didn’t understand. I didn’t defy him I did as he asked, to harm the person that was wrong. Everything said or done in this throne room set my mind off in a maze wondering where it was leading to or if it was the correct path. Was he doing it on purpose or was I just looking too deeply. His smirks said one thing, and his malicious tone said another. With all that the only thing that threw me off was that he looked so scared while doing such gestures. His guards stood close by and his eyes twinkled in fear. It was as if us tools could fall onto his toe and leave him howling in pain. The king realized how easily I could kill someone; maybe he just now realized he is also a person. In truth I wanted to give a sly smile and laugh, but instead my face went pale white. I’ll act, I thought to myself, I’ll get out of this easily.
“I-I-I-I‘m sorry, p-please forgive m-me. I-I don’t know what came over me to think I could do such a t-thing,” I stuttered but still tired not to show emotion, because he understood I didn’t have a regular smile or laugh. He was the one to make me such a lifeless person, of course he would know. He seemed satisfied with my answer and his nerves blew away. Even with that he never told the guards to move away or leave. Silence hung in the room while the king looked like he was enjoying my stuttering. I did all I could to keep my mask as emotionless as the king makes me to be. Folding his hands together the king shifted, he got a better look at me and laughed.
“My dear Kathryn, so even a killer can become a coward,” he laughed whole heartedly. Things inside of me snapped, but I tried hard to put them back together. I’m neither of those things on my own. That being said he was satisfied and let me go to my room which was in the east wing with the rest of the victor’s. After closing the door behind me I couldn’t hold in the tears and laughter. To me, it seemed like my mind couldn’t make up whether I was happy or sad. The tears blinded me as I pushed myself off the door to start walking towards the east wing. While wiping them away furiously I ran into someone or something I couldn’t really tell. With unclear eyes I looked up to find that I indeed ran into someone, or rather than someone, he was the king’s son. Without warning he started laughing for a reason that was unknown to me. I went back to my expressionless mask trying to get him to stop laughing at me so whole heartedly. He was still standing there laughing, with that said I felt like punching him or screaming at him. Instead I ended up leaning on his chest to cry so more. This day had been too much for me because of seeing my parents, hurting the kindhearted Lord Sander, then the king pushing my feelings around like usual.
“Stop laughing you fool,” I whispered then pushed myself away and walked around him trying to act like nothing happened. The son of that ungrateful king, I know he isn’t the king but I still feel so angered in his presence. Whenever he is around my mask slips and leaves me feeling vulnerable like he could take my emotions and play around with them the way the king does. When I was younger and just came to the castle it was worst, I didn’t have much endurance so my mask was like it was already easily taken off. Just thinking of it made me feel the urge to cry and use my anger and sadness to do something. Quickly I started to walk away from Prince Kayden before he got any sudden ideas like he usually would. With that thought I could feel his smirk then his hand pulling my arm back stopping me in my tracks.
“My father is the one making you cry again correct,” he questioned already knowing the answer. To get his hand off of me I nodded in a quick movement. His gripped loosened but it didn’t release, only bringing me to frown. Shaking my head I tried to get back my mask, it was always easier with an emotionless mask.
“Well then we should work together, your specialty is granting a wish right? Well when he tells you to do something come to me first and I’ll wish that you didn’t do as he asked,” Kayden planned with an accomplished smile that says that he thinks he solved the biggest problem.
“Isn’t that the same thing as going against the king, I could never. It would be my death wish and you know it,” I answered automatically without thinking of excuses. It was true that the king was scared of me, but the countless amounts of followers he had and the victor’s to could kill as their specialty, they could easily end my life. Even though I don’t have much to live for I still enjoy breathing nonetheless.
“What are you so scared of? My father is a horrible that’s true he even makes you cry. Even with that though, I’ll protect you because I hate seeing you cry,” he insisted with begging eyes of gold and grey. I could’ve sworn two minutes ago he was laughing at me crying. I didn’t want to believe in him, he always had these crazy ideas that we always got caught in. One time when we were younger he begged me to come with him wandering into the forest, of course once the guards found us I was severely punished while the prince was fretted over. I shook my head again; I didn’t have enough ambition to do this without my specialty.
“I’m scared of you being able to bring out my emotions and the king being able to play with them,” was all I said before running off to my room before he can say anything else. Once I was in my room I didn’t understand what just happened. Before I clearly had the same intention, disobeying the king, but somehow now I am too scared too? My mind and heart were both jumbled up and confused. Maybe a rest will help my helplessness, I thought to myself trying to give out a positive feeling that didn’t come. And I did just that, sleep.
I was woken by the sound of knocking, thinking it was Valeria the maid that assigned to me, I opened the door. To my surprise it was not her but instead Kayden with a smirk. Quickly I started to shut the door but his foot caught it so it wouldn't close. Of course with all the training I had up until now I could, but I would never be able to bring myself to do it. Looking down at the floor I waited for him to say something or even do something but we both stayed there quiet and still. The silence caused me to look up at him, it wasn’t until then that he smiled and took a step in.
“I wanted you to look at me before I spoke,” he told and then his smile brightened a little more as he walked into my quarter.
“Why are you here,” I quickly asked before he could take another step. He turned to face me and as he took a step my way his smile dulled leaving in its place a sour frown. My heart gave a cry, but I didn’t let it give in. With a serious gleam in his eyes he took out a letter that had a king’s embroidery in the corner. Slowly I took the letter out of his hand and opened it gently. As I read it my hand went out to grab Prince Kayden out of shock and horror.
“He wants… me… to do… what,” I exclaimed with a worried expression. Both of my hands started to shake, even the one that clutched onto Prince Kayden’s arm. He took the letter back and put it into his pocket ready to leave. Before he could take a step I held him in place with my hand.
“Just kill the queen, it’s an order,” Prince Kayden said bitterly then tried to walk away but my hand was still firmly place on his arm. Tears that I never cry flooded my view, but I still looked up at Prince Kayden’s outline.
“That is the only order that I have to defy, the queen means much more to this kingdom then the king does, and she is your mother as while as the only mother figure I had when I was growing up,” I argued without holding in the tears anymore, it’ll only be this one time. I couldn’t see clearly with all the watery tears, but I could tell he was agreeing with me.
“Well then, we better get moving. Where’s Valeria,” he asked making me dumbfounded, what on earth is he thinking?
chapter three
The words from the letter still burned in the back of my mind, but somehow it lead to Prince Kayden, Valeria, and I all leaving the castle without notice. Although running away would mean betrayal to the king, we are still here with food, clothes, and horses.
“Valeria are you sure you want to come with us,” I questioned knowing how hard it is to betray the king. She gave me a light smile and nodded then started packing the stuff onto the horses. I leaned against Mandy, my horse, and starred at the Prince wondering what he was thinking. Has he gone mad, I asked myself but then shook my head; I suppose he just doesn't want his mother killed by his childhood friend. That would be the logical answer I suppose, I told myself then help Valeria.
Impressum
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 09.09.2012
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