The world had become a place that’s foreign; Too chaotic and perplexed, as if it actually did turned its surfaces flat and had challenged me to solve it like a Rubix Cube. And so, I kindly said “thank you” and declined to take that challenge. I had to escape from reality that is all for show now a days, and took the cheapest route to get away. NASA didn’t even have to sponsor my bypass. All it took was four walls and whatever was left inside from the remaining of my sanity. The only thing that was occupying the space besides me, myself, I, was the record player serenading me through the darkness as I created companions on the walls with the flashlight.

Like any other kind of puppetry, shadow puppets amused me as well. But when your skills only requires forming a dog and rabbit, it’s not considered so much as mastering the art of it. But they would do just fine for me. And so I played along with my little show and keeping in mind that my rabbit is not as cunning as Bugs Bunny. He would’ve known how to use the classic reverse psychology on it. “What’s up, Doc?” My bunny had said. “Oh, nothing much. Just hungry.” That sneak of a dog replied. “Really? Well, I can help you find something if you like.” “Yeah…that would be great. As a matter of fact, I smell some easy meat very close by. Hop around over there and see if you can find it and I will follow…” My rabbit hopped in circles, up, down, left and right all over the wall until it finally realized that IT was the “easy meat”. See? No funny escape just like Bugs.

The scene made me more disappointed at myself and I twirled the flashlight around instead. Isn’t that how you start off Russian Roulette? Or Spin the bottle? It was prettier though due to the light. Round and round it goes along with the record that was still playing. This time it changed to a medley of a lullaby. The kick I needed to get me to sleep. But I couldn’t sleep just yet, the room was too cozy and was just beginning to talk to me-and I wanted to listen. I picked up the flashlight and shined it to the wall on my left. The light illuminated my shadow to be elongated and slight bit hunched over. Like an old Willow Tree. And with that thought in mind, I held out my arm and made my hand go limp, to make it look like the branch and droopy leaves. I imagined flocks of Sparrows use to settled in me. Even a spiritual bird can turn a Weeping Willow into a decent, warm home.

From behind me the light shone just a mere shade of me looking back. It’s hair was all over the place like a bizarre forest from another world. And it was looking. Looking right through me as I looked back. I figured the cause of looking back is the result of your life appearing right through you and you’re just wondering around in a ghost town of your memories. Have to press forward…so I shone the light to the wall in front of me and there was “Thing 2” doing the same as its twin. I was in the middle of a silent drawl and a choice I had to make. Either to remain in the past which had seem like a comfortable setting that I have created for myself, or do the sensible thing that any normal human can do and move forward in their life.

“Right over here. Look this way.” The shadow in front had said dreamily. “There’s no turning back. Never is.”

“BUT you have fun remembering. Isn’t that right? You cherish your memories. Never forget them.” Bizarre Forest Shade had whispered.

“Forget them no, but you will never know what lies ahead if you don’t keep pressing forward. It’s not meant for anyone to go back. Have you seen any time machines? Why do you think that is?”

“Imagine the time machine! You have an imagination. Come settle in your port holes that you have created so comfortably with each memory. Live within the cravats…”

“Can’t grow wings if you live in between cracks…”

I turned the flashlight back to the wall on my right where I had done my hand show. The rabbit was gone but that dog was another story. It was looking for its next hunt. I had never had a problem with dogs but the one on the wall appeared to grow a bigger and sniffing out more “easy meat”. I didn’t want to get caught. Didn’t want to choose just yet, and I was growing tired. The record player played on for the remaining of my own space and I laid down to escape my thoughts temporarily. The lullaby echoed on the lyrics that had also made me ask myself: Do my crying and sighing laugh at yesterday? I believe it does.

And as the song was the last touch to take me on that blissful trip to Dreamland Nova, I felt my eyes grow heavy as if someone laid gently a heavy, comfy, blanket on my eyes. I thank the sheep dearly for its wool and for the many that had volunteered to help me count. There was nothing but black behind my eye lids and my thoughts swimming around in my head at first. My body was laid to rest but my thoughts refused to take a break. But the music-it came to life, transforming the medley into colors and soothing those hyper thoughts. Now I was ready to take off. And right at the moment of my departure, I had seen a hand; I believe it was mine and It was reaching for the light switch. I didn’t like to sleep with the light on and I was hoping with the littlest chance that it was the switch to make the dark darker.


The switch flicked on and a wail escaped from his mouth. Horatio Mackenzie didn’t expect to see the sight before his eyes as he went to check on his granddaughter, which he had noticed she didn’t come out the room in two days. And now he gotten the chance to see her in bed with bunches of used, balled up tissues and an open pill container with the remaining pills spilled out on the floor. He rushed to her immediately with the smallest chance of hope that there was still time to save her but as he held her, she was cold and limp as a left out noodle and he knew it was denial of his thinking and much too late at that. “Oh, Alyssa…what have you done…?” He sobbed. He had never thought that a person could feel so empty in their death as he rocked her. How life leaves and the body is just a shell of who they were. An obnoxious chirping sound broke him finally out of his thoughts and tears temporarily and when he finally pin pointed to where the sound was coming from, he realized it was her cell phone.

He picked it up with one hand and still holding Alyssa in the other. He remembered he watched her one time on her phone and seen how she touched the screen of the it and dragged something down. He wouldn’t come near to a touch phone and was still glad that his cell HAD buttons. But maybe the phone can give some answers…he mimicked his granddaughter’s hand movement by memory and noticed it was like pulling a window shade down. Inside the “shade” were notifications. Something about downloads…no, not it….eight text messages and ten missed calls. There was something to look into. He wasn’t into texts neither and touched the screen for “Missed Calls” by guess. His daughter and some friends had called. He dreaded when the time will come to call his daughter and tell her about the sudden discovery of their love one…and her friends. She didn’t have much of them but she had enough to keep her happy, right? Why go down this route…? He decided to use the phone to call 911 and after a few tinkering and poking at the screen, he finally got a dial pad which he had recognized the numbers. “Hello. I like to report a death that I came across to…Yes, my granddaughter. I found her in bed with some pills on the floor…yes…yes, I’ll hold but please hurry….”

The silence from the other line of the phone had made him hear the music that was playing in the room still all this time. Alyssa had Cds, and an mp3 player on that phone of hers but she would also play his vinyl’s and enjoy imagining she lived in the years that vinyl was the thing to buy. And before the 911 operator returned to him he heard the record skipping the same line with a drowsy feel to it: Now it’s dark and I grow old but I won’t be afraid. In my room, in my room…

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 28.07.2011

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