It's good. Sorry for the late response, but you might want to review a bit of your story, it has some foolish grammer mistakes. In the second chapter you should add some more character build up. Perhaps you could add in her powers early, so that the plot can move a bit faster.... mehr anzeigen
It's good. Sorry for the late response, but you might want to review a bit of your story, it has some foolish grammer mistakes. In the second chapter you should add some more character build up. Perhaps you could add in her powers early, so that the plot can move a bit faster. Add sensory details, like when she gets home, instead of "...I saw my mother cooking" or something like that, it would make more sense if it was "I could smell the chicken on the stove/oven (there's different ways on how you could cook chicken) (if it was a stove you could put: I could hear the frying of chicken on the stove)" Sensory details are the five senses: Taste, Touch, Hear, Feel, See. Sometimes you could add the 6th sense, people say it's a gut feeling. Like when she was walking home from school, you can say. "For some random reason, I feel as if my mother is cooking chicken again." Which could add characterization to her mother. Although, I do like the way you add the characteristics of the characters. Keep it up, you write really well. I'm not saying i'm better than you, truthfully, i think you're better than me.
Aww thank you for the feed back! ( Sorry for this REALLY late response) I will try to work on my grammar mistakes and use your tips! Thank so you much for feed back and i will try my best to improve!
Really need to editing and proofreading
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My name's Rookie Burwick, and I have written 3 chapters of my novel. I really do want to get these chapters completely proofread and edited before I go on. Now, I haven't gotten published yet, and the only money I make I put toward keeping me and my family afloat, thus I cannot provide payment. I know most editors/proofreaders require payment, so it's going to be tough for me, I'm well aware.
My name's Rookie Burwick, and I have written 3 chapters of my novel. I really do want to get these chapters completely proofread and edited before I go on. Now, I haven't gotten published yet, and the only money I make I put toward keeping me and my family afloat, thus I cannot provide payment. I know most editors/proofreaders require payment, so it's going to be tough for me, I'm well aware.
Please do message me for much more details, because, if you publicity, this would be the best way to do it.
Faded. The Beautifully Dangerous Trilogyhttp://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jordan-wadley-faded-1/Haunted by the absence of her parents as a child she now roams the world on her own. Living and thriving in the world of 2017 she must dodge the advancing government along with many other otherworl...
On October 5th I shall add 4 more chapters to the books . Ive been drafting them on paper for a long time and am ready to add it but i must proofread it before i add it. So can someone check my book on October 5th and send comments my way on October 6?
I have a book that I've recently started. I've made this book a little different that the others, I'd be highly grateful if you could give my book 'The Hunted' a shot. I have yet to edit my book because I have a problem with skimming, I could really use someone's help in informing me of what I need. I've had some help, a friend has told me I need to revise because some... mehr anzeigen
I have a book that I've recently started. I've made this book a little different that the others, I'd be highly grateful if you could give my book 'The Hunted' a shot. I have yet to edit my book because I have a problem with skimming, I could really use someone's help in informing me of what I need. I've had some help, a friend has told me I need to revise because some things don't fit together too perfect but I'd like to know if this book in particular is enough to grab your attention?
The Hunted. The Fighters Amongst Ushttp://www.bookrix.com/_ebook-jordan-wadley-the-hunted/In the new world of 2017, people grow wary and afraid of what lurks around in the shadows. Creatures of the night begin to come out in the day, afraid of nothing or anyone. The economy has lowered ...
I'm kinda new to this group. I just started writing a new book 'Mysterious Dangers', Please tell me what you think. I want someone else's opinion (Other than my own so...) Thank you, if you could!
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It's good. Sorry for the late response, but you might want to review a bit of your story, it has some foolish grammer mistakes. In the second chapter you should add some more character build up. Perhaps you could add in her powers early, so that the plot can move a bit faster.... mehr anzeigen
It's good. Sorry for the late response, but you might want to review a bit of your story, it has some foolish grammer mistakes. In the second chapter you should add some more character build up. Perhaps you could add in her powers early, so that the plot can move a bit faster. Add sensory details, like when she gets home, instead of "...I saw my mother cooking" or something like that, it would make more sense if it was "I could smell the chicken on the stove/oven (there's different ways on how you could cook chicken) (if it was a stove you could put: I could hear the frying of chicken on the stove)"
Sensory details are the five senses: Taste, Touch, Hear, Feel, See. Sometimes you could add the 6th sense, people say it's a gut feeling. Like when she was walking home from school, you can say. "For some random reason, I feel as if my mother is cooking chicken again." Which could add characterization to her mother. Although, I do like the way you add the characteristics of the characters.
Keep it up, you write really well. I'm not saying i'm better than you, truthfully, i think you're better than me.
Aww thank you for the feed back! ( Sorry for this REALLY late response) I will try to work on my grammar mistakes and use your tips! Thank so you much for feed back and i will try my best to improve!