BookRix

home when this girl thought it was a good time to have a go at me. i put my hands out to defend. then everyone came and pulled her away. she was such a cow. (she turned around and said sorry wrong person)

....she's still dead....

Blue Font Is Me Talking. Red Is My Ex-Friend Talking

I lived in Germany for nine years. Three of those years I had a friend named Mariah. She was really great! I loved her like a sister. Yeah, she could get annoying, arrogant and bossy sometimes. And her and her sisters were always fighting! But, I saw her family as my family. Her mother even told me, I quote, "You don't need to worry, Megan. You're part of our family now." I felt at home with them.
I moved to the states, and we kept in touch on Facebook. But, it wasn't really the same. She eventually moved to the US as well. And our time was kinda the same. So it would have been easier to talk. But she was never online. I assumed she was off with her friends, since while we lived in Germany she was always talking about them and how much she missed them.

Then, about two months ago, I messaged her.

She wasn't online, but I just wanted to know, were we still friends? She didn't make an effort to talk to me, and I didn't make an effort for her. Which I feel guilty about. But it wasn't all my fault, she should have had some guilt as well. Well, I knew her for about three years. She knows I am not one to skip around the bush (avoid the point I'm trying to make) I'm very blunt and I say what I feel, and what I'm thinking. I do know what to say and what not to say. But in this instance, I wasn't thinking about saving feelings. I wanted to know if we were friends or not. This is the message I sent her-

"Hey. Not to sound over sensitive, but I have a few things I want to say.
What happened to us? We're not really friends anymore. Maybe we were just friends for a bit in Germany and now since we no longer live near each other, we're not anymore? You keep tagging me in pictures. And I don't know what that really means. You just think it is funny and want to show it to me? You think that that is something I/you would do? Or something that you might want to do later in life?
I kind of feel like I was just there for a bit, just to be your friend until you moved back to all the people you knew before Germany. And if so, that is completely fine with me. As long as I know that. I have had 'friends' like that before. So if that is how you saw our friendship, then please, just tell me so I will be aware of it and don't have to be frustrated about all of this any longer.
I think you just don't have much time for me any more. You're with all of your old friends or whatever. And I hear that you have a phone now and I guess since you have a cell phone you don't get on the computer much. But if you really wanted to be friends, then wouldn't you try to talk to me? I know that I haven't tried much. But I have tried a little. It's just hard, since it seems like I don't even know you anymore. If I even knew you at all before.
That's about all I wanted to say. I don't want to throw too much on you. You're probably doing other things anyway. It's just something for you to think about. Are we really true friends? And if the answer to that is no, then that's alright. It's not like we won't be able to talk at all anymore. Please, write back to me with the answer."

I waited, checking my Facebook constantly for an answer. She soon sent this back to me,

"I tagged you in pictures because thats the way i remember our friendship being. And I am not with any "friends from before Germany." . And I do have a phone but nobody texts me and i dont get on the computer very much because my family does not have our main computer. We only have my dads and my sisters laptops. When I do get on I have limited time. And I can understand why you are upset but honestly..... If it bothered you than you should have tried to actually talk to ME. The internet is not a one way thing. And if you feel like our friendship was not real than i guess there is no point in continuing it. I guess you were also one of those "friends""

Now, as much as it might seem, I wasn't upset at all. I have a habit of correcting people when they make a mistake, especially when they say that I said something when I didn't. If you look, she said that "I can understand why you are upset but honestly" But I didn't say I was upset. So I corrected her, along with this message.

"I guess so.
I was thinking about it after sending the message, and I realized we really aren't friends. Even when we were in Germany. Whenever I was around you, I always felt like I needed to acted better. I don't know why, I just did. And friends shouldn't have to feel like that. Also, if I'm doubting the friendship we have/had, then that is another sign of it not being real. Because I don't believe friends doubt their friendship.
The reason I never talked to you though, was because you were never online. And I was afraid I would be bugging you in some way. I am also not on Facebook as often as I used to be. And when I am online, as I said, you were never online. I could have talked to you even though you weren't online. I admit, that is my fault. I could have asked for a phone number, but I am terrible on the phone. So I saw that as a no go. I have Yahoo, Bookrix, Gmail and Skype. But you obviously wouldn't have been able to be on there because you don't have a computer.
I want to say, I'm sorry if this hurts you in any way. I'm not trying to be rude. I might come off as blunt, rude and heartless at times. But that's just who I am. I'm not one to skip around the bush. I've been thinking about this for a long time. And it's irritating not knowing something.
As for me being upset, did I say I was upset? (I don't remember doing that...) I'm not upset. Just frustrated. But now that I have this situation resolved and out of the way, I don't have to worry about it any more..."

(I saw a lot of typos in this. But I'm too lazy to fix them ~.~) Anyways, I told you all I am blunt. I wanted this situation gone. I didn't want to deal with it anymore. Later the next day, there was a picture on Facebook, posted by Mariah's father. It was a picture of his eyes. The message he was saying was this, (This is not exactly what he said, I'm just winging it) "These are my eyes. These are the eyes that I look at my family and love them. But, these are also the same eyes that I watch for danger, I protect my family. And you better watch out if I think you are a danger, because I'm a great aim, and my finger is on the trigger."

Don't ask me exactly what this means, but in the comments all of the people were saying things such as, "What's going on?" and "What happened?" and "Is everything alright?" To answer their question, Mariah's mother answered,

"Everything is alright. My daughter is just upset. We are dealing with a dysfunctional family. But I'm proud of my daughters because they are taking it all with dignity and honor." She said something like that. I was winging it, again.
When I read it, I got so mad! I was thinking things like, "US?! DYSFUNCTIONAL? You're the family that can't control their own daughters and you're the mom that lets her daughters talk to her like shit! My mom doesn't do that!" And I was outraged. But I kept calm. I wasn't going to jump the gun, because I didn't know exactly if she was talking about us.

Then my sister saw that comment.
She talked to the mother and we found out that she was talking about us when she said dysfunctional. But she said that it was alright because she didn't say our names. So, I can say as many bad things about someone as I want, as long as I don't tell their name? NO! Seriously, what was wrong with that sentence that she made?
Well, anyway. A while later I got another message from Mariah. She said,

"I deleted my bookrix. I never get on and I was getting tired of the emails. If you want to talk which I doubt.... you'll have to do it on here or email me."

This is what I said back just now.

Sorry for the late reply. I've been trying to think of a reply to this, and I couldn't figure out what to say... I actually still don't know what to say.
I don't think we should talk. My family is obviously dysfunctional. (Sorry, I'm still a little upset about that....) But, this happened and I hope we can both walk away on good terms. This happened and it obviously means that we weren't supposed to be friends forever. I'm glad we were able to be friends in Germany, there are a lot of things that we did that I may never forget, nor do I actually want to. They were fun. And they made great memories- Makes great memories!
I know I said a lot of things that can be seen as offensive, I think sometimes I talk without thinking how it may effect people. I apologize for that. I don't mean to be so blunt, that's just how I am.
That is all I have to say.

She has not answered back yet. I might share it with you all when/if she does.

oh my god, so like her mum though as long as you dont say the names of people you can say as many bad things as she wants, thats way over :-? :-/

that was so touching [sob sob sob] i think you should make up with her!