BookRix

HAy that is a good story but a few things are off i can help if you like here let me show you.... heres a line from your story..

"Au a Danolly" he said. I was shaking with fear.
"A young one" wispered another " Just look at her eyes" at that a tear formed in the cornor of my eye.
Just then a dark haired female vampire leaped onto my back. So then i desided to take a chance, I grabed her hand in one quick motoin((I cant spell good eather so))and slung her body over my sholder with a fures snarl.

But like i said you did relly good and i loved it :)

Cool

thanks. friends and family are my biggest inspiration!!

I will give you an 'A' for the story son far but your spelling needs help.
Capitalization and word spelling are needed. The beginning of this story has a lot of hope!./joeparente