BookRix

it's amazing piece
keep it up

Hello. ︀How ︀are ︀you? ︀I ︀need ︀a ︀friend, ︀open ︀link ︀>>>>> ＷＷＷ.ＩＮＴＩＭＣＯＮＴＡＣＴ.ＣＯＭ?_ebook-stephanie-erway-just-a-little-rain

This story has a great premise, and the twist at the end is both subtle and well done.

That said, I have to hope you'll go back and edit this, because it's worth the effort. You have lots of spelling, grammar, and formatting mistakes, and a few logic inconsistencies (for instance, if it's night time and extra dark because of the incoming storm, why was the man wearing sunglasses? And if the slide in the park across the street from the bus shelter was almost covered in water, why was the water in the bus shelter only up to the height of the bench, which would be only about two feet off the sidewalk?).

A story as nicely organized as this deserves to be as nicely written. Once you've got all the errors taken care of, I honestly think this is a story that should be entered in a short-story contest, like the ones they offer on Glimmer Train. So aside from the glitches, great job! I'm really impressed!