BookRix

Most enjoyable read. One thing I despise is being told too much about a character on the front side. I like to learn as I go. Nicely done and engaging, letting us learn more of 'Robin' as the book unfolds. I wanted more book when I ran out of words, and that is a sure sign that your doing something right. Yes, there needs to be some polishing, but for me story is key and content rules over polish. If you wish to publish, then you'll need some help. Don't let someone tell you 'fantastic for 16 and a second language'. That's diminishing. It's a good story for someone 16 or for someone 40 and a first language. But the grammar fixes are an issue. Some people truly flip if they hit a typo. Editing sucks but its part of writing. Well done. Write more.
Lions

I agree,there needs to be some editing in terms of grammar and spelling.Love Robins' character.Please review one of my poetry books.It would be much appreciated.Thanks!

Review - You have done a good job of describing and putting into words this character's sadness and grief. As the previous critique pointed out, there are some editing issues. I loved the fact you used the word 'hence' which one does not see as much, but I've always been fond of as a 'joiner word. I would question what Point of View you are working towards. You might want to research that. Otherwise, you have created some questions, and I as a reader, want them answered, so I would read on, except there isn't anymore! I would be interested in reading more of this. Let me know when you get more written. Good job. Robynn

After seeing a number of grammatical and spelling errors, I checked your profile to find, as I suspected, that English is probably not your first language. So I have to say in light of that, this is a wonderful effort! English is very difficult (heck, a lot of native English speakers can't get it right!), so I applaud you for how well you got the heart of your story across. I could feel Robin's conflicts, her pain and sorrow, her longings and happiness at being reunited with her beloved granny.

Since you put this in the category of "Mystery & Crime," I have to assume that things are going to start happening in young Robin's life that will lead to an intriguing tale. I like that you get the reader to sympathize with Robin right away. We can care about her now and will want to see where life's journey is going to take her next.

When you've finished, have someone help you with editing to smooth out the grammar and spelling, and you'll have one heck of a great book! Awesome job, and the fact that you're only sixteen tells me that you have some serious natural talent as a story-teller. Excellent work!