BookRix

O︀p︀e︀n︀ ︀L︀i︀n︀k︀ ︀➝︀ http://︀ᴺ︀a︀ᵏ︀e︀ᵈ︀%2D︀ᴳ︀ᴵ︀ʳ︀ᴸ︀s︀%2e︀o︀ⁿ︀l︀ⁱ︀n︀ᴱ/c%2ftrack%2fl%2f︀bookrix︀%2f︀_ebook-shadelra-meeting-at-the-mixer

✅ http://︀i︀n︀t︀i︀m︀c︀o︀n︀t︀a︀c︀t︀.︀c︀o︀m︀?︀p︀r︀o︀f︀i︀l︀e︀_ebook-shadelra-meeting-at-the-mixer

I really liked the story. What you need to do to make it better is to indent for a new paragraph each time there is a change in dialogue. I was starting to get confused as to who was speaking because they ran one into the other.
ie.
That was one handsome woman walking through the door!
"Hi Ray," she spoke softly.
"Hi, he mumbled back emabarased by the look of adoration in her pretty eyes.

Always make a new paragraph between narrative and dialogue and every time a speaker of dialogue changes. It helps to keep the sense of the story intact with readability. Other than that you have a wonderful story in the making.

thank you tyrone, that means alot. Yes, i am going through some changes, but i think the themes in my stories reflect the man i want to be, i can not say that i am there yet. Writitng to me is a way to escape from the problems of the real world. In some ways it is truly one of the only things that i find joy in. I really respect your views on things, it encourages me and humbles me at the same time.

I can tell by the theme of your books that you may have undergone a change in your life recently. I like reading stories in which the main character evolves from living a normal life to a life filled with the love of Christ. It would be nice if we had an "in between" category between G and X. Your books were not X-rated in any way,shape or form and I look forward to reading more of your work!

God bless,

Tyrone